Recent DJ Posts

Over the last two days or so I haven't been able to either retain dream memories or make note of them for multiple reasons. I do still have some scraps of memories left so maybe writing those out would be a good idea.

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Scrap, two days ago:

In the kitchen. There's a fluffy, sort of orange coloured spider thing? It's in the thing that holds loose leaf tea for brewing, maybe it's dead or not but it looked crammed in it. It's in the sink anyway, and I turn the tap on and water pours on it.

The fur absorbs the water and it gets a lot bigger. In the dream this spooks me, mostly because it was unexpected, but then it somehow becomes a bit sexual as I decide in the dream that I shouldn't be afraid of it and I show it my naked bottom, but it felt like it was partially a taunt of some kind too. I don't remember any other details except that the dream started to sort of distort, weird colours.

Scrap, one day ago:

The dream just seemed to be a Johnny Bravo cartoon or something. I just remember some really crude scene where there was a woman with her breasts bare and Johnny made a crude remark in surprise.

Scrap, today:

Lots of being outside. Day time mostly, but kind of grey. Was in a van at several points? Maybe helping H. Memory of the dream has faded more than I expected. It felt like it was a long dream sequence.

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Some notes:

- The dream with the spider was odd. Mostly, it made me realise that while I have largely gotten over my phobia of spiders, there are still plenty of types of spider that I wouldn't commonly see in waking life, simply because they don't exist here and I think that seeing these different kinds might still make me jump a bit more than seeing the ones that do exist around here. The instinctual behaviour of getting spooked by spiders never seems to have really abandoned me even though I got over my phobia, but perhaps it's also a sign that there's still more that can be done about it.
- The sexual part of that dream probably relates to how I've realised in the past that positive emotional association can be helpful when dealing with phobia-type stuff.
- Not sure what brought on the cartoon dream, as I haven't watched that specific cartoon at all in over 10, maybe 15 years?
- Today's dream had an overarching plot to it, but I can't remember any specific detail anymore that would let me expand on the dream's detail.

After a break of several weeks, the car dream has returned this week. I spend some time dealing with some issues regarding my fathers estate over the weekend, and expect this is what has caused the dream to come back.

As in earlier instances, the dream starts with me waiting in my grandads old reliant in my parents driveway for my sister and mom. I am in the middle of the front tan vinyl bench seat and have the tan lap belt fastened around my waist.

My younger sister is opening the passenger side door and sitting down in the passenger seat next to me not long after the dream starts. She is wearing the same red overalls and tan sandals she always wears. After sitting down in the passenger seat, she closes the door and then fastens the tan shoulder belt.

My sister and me then spend a really long time waiting from mom to come out of the house and get in the car. My sister keeps trying to talk to me, but I keep trying to avoid her because her breath is putrid. She also keeps putting her head on my shoulder to try to get my attention. I just want mom to come out of the house and get in the reliant so we can go. She is nowhere to be seen though, and I am stuck waiting in the car with my sister.

Finally, I look towards the house and see mom locking the door. She then walks towards the reliant and then fumbles through her purse for the keys when she gets to the driver side door. When she finally finds the keys, she unlocks the driver side door and then opens it and sits down in the empty driver seat on my other side. I feel really squished and trapped between my mom and sister while mom adjusts all of the mirrors.

When mom finally has all of the mirrors adjusted how she wants them, the turns the key in the ignition to start the reliant. The car makes a few groans but doesn't start up. Instead, the groan of the engine trying to start is replaced by a buzzing sound and the dash is illuminated with red lights. Mom turns the key a few more times, but each time the engine doesn't start and I see the red lights and hear the buzzing sound.

After a few failed cranks, mon stops tying to tell me I need to calm down. She tells me she is doing the best she can and she will get the car started.. I noticed her breath is worse than my sisters when she is taking to me about needing to calm down. She then starts pumping the accelerator and turning the key, but each crank still ends with the buzzing sound and red lights.

She eventually decides to get out and look under the hood. Before getting out, she again tells me I need to calm down. When I ask if I can get out, she tells me I need to keep my seat belt on.

I feel really trapped while she is out of the car because I am still buckled to the middle seat and my sister is still next to me invading my space. We wait in the car for a while.

Mom eventually closes the hood and then gets back into the reliant. She starts pumping the accelerator and then tries turning the key, but again the car doesn't start and there is just the buzzing sound and red lights. She keeps pumping the accelerator and truing turning the key, but the reliant sill fails to start and I hear the buzzing sound and see the red lights. After a few more cranks, mom again gets after me about needing to calm down and I smell her breath again. I have no idea why she keeps getting after me, because I think I am being calm and not saying anything to her.

I wake up from the dream while mom is getting after me about needing to be calm before she tries again to star the reliant.