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    1. The Insertion Experiment

      by , 05-05-2022 at 11:56 PM
      Date: 05/05/2022
      Bedtime: 3.15am
      Awakening: 7.10am
      Return to bed: 7.20am
      Method of entry: dream consciousness
      Attempt: successful
      Awakening: 11.15am
      DILD: The Insertion Experiment

      DREAMING

      I'm queueing behind a man in a shop. I'm next to be served but actress Julia Roberts jumps in front of me. She briefly looks back at me and I shake my head in disapproval before saying with sarcastic chivalry, 'Go ahead, you first!' Scene shift: I'm playing computer games with my wife in my youngest son's bedroom. Suddenly I'm by myself and several screens surround me, allowing me to switch from one game to the next without wasting time. I tend to select fighting over racing games. Suddenly, I'm inside one of the games—which takes a life-like appearance—and I observe people sink into walls with water flowing over their composite-stone surfaces; it seems that whoever gets too close to these peculiar walls ends up literally flushed away, vanishing into their deep gaps. The environment is like a gallery and people are warned to stay away from the walls. I pose for a picture with actor Cuba Gooding Jr. and the photographer accidentally reverses into a wall. I try to save the man by attempting to grab him but he gets flushed away pretty quickly.

      WAKING

      I wake up at the sound of the alarm and make some notes in my journal before getting my son up for school. I realise that I keep dreaming about celebrities lately, a theme which could turn into a potential dream cue. Playing computer games in my son's bedroom never happens and I also identify two instances of mechanical weirdness, such as, multiple screens and the subsequent flushing system on slippery wet walls observed after the impossibility of suddenly appearing inside a life-like game. Feeling tired, I return to bed.

      DREAMING

      At a nightclub a stately Rastafarian in dreadlocks insists that I stand in the corner of the dancefloor. This makes me very angry, especially when he refers to me as 'bitch'. I vehemently refuse to do as he says but he continues to press me so we lock horns and I end up killing him by bashing his head on steps at the edge of the dancefloor. I hear calls for security and scram as guards walk in my direction and call the police. Frightened, I exit the building, noticing that I am completely covered in blood. I meet up with my friend Musaddique who promises to help by taking me to his house. When we get there he tells me his door is the fourth one from a brick wall, but I see that the fourth one is blocked by a fence, so I ask him if he is sure and he appears confused. Weirdly, he starts counting doors before telling me that perhaps it's the third one. 'Do you not know your house?' I tease him before we enter the house and meet his family—which consists of his parents, his grown-up sister and some little siblings. Scene shift: It's time to go and, coincidentally, the back door of Musaddique's house allows direct access to a train station platform.

      I am kindly given a travelcard so I can get a train home. As I head for some barriers beyond which some information screens are visible, I hear Musaddique and his sister calling me. I turn around to see them running towards me. They want the travelcard back because, as it turns out, they will need it. When I hand back what they gave me previously, I notice that I have two blue travelcards made of plastic, making them resemble my citizen card. I find it a little strange but reason that they must've given me two passes by mistake. They turn around and presumably start walking back to their house. I reach for my wallet and realise that it's missing so I panic. How will I get home now? I can still see the siblings walking at a distance and rush after them in the hope of borrowing some money to get home. Suddenly the platform is bustling with people and I lose them. 'Where are they? They were just here!' I think to myself. Feeling lost and confounded by their sudden disappearance, I begin to wonder if I'm dreaming. It's the only explanation ...

      LUCID DREAMING

      I no longer worry about anything but feel curious when I see Musaddique get on a train with the crowd. (Realism: 100%) The sliding doors close but I pass through the carriage like a ghost, encountering some resistance as I do so. I can see inside the train as I hover near the ceiling. A semblance of Musaddique and the rest of the passengers look up from their seats. Wondering about what reaction I might get, I say to Musaddique, 'Don't bother with the travelcard! This is a dream!' Musaddique and the passengers start hooting with laughter as if they had been actors all along in some Truman show and I just got 'punked'. I feel like I'm surrounded by tricksters as I stand in the aisle thinking that I must be careful not to get sucked into a dream plot.

      I remember the Insertion Experiment and quickly lift a white shirt I'm wearing to plunge my right hand into my belly. As I watch my hand getting gradually absorbed by my torso, I make the following observations: there is some resistance, there is no blood, and there is no pain; as I wiggle the hand inside my tummy to feel for organs, I encounter a vacuous pressure—there is more feeling in my hand than my stomach area and no organs to be found. The environment begins to fade and I wake up eager to record my observations.

      WAKING

      I scribble some notes and recall the previous dream. Fights and confrontations in dreams are also quite common where strong emotions like anger tend to flare up. Being pursued by the police is also an extremely unlikely situation accompanied by feeling terrified of being captured. Each dream seems to come with at least one scene shift and there are some long-term memory-based elements such as Musaddique—a friend I have not seen since secondary school. I also need to practice being more critical of suspicious events such as Musaddique not knowing exactly which house door is his.
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      lucid
    2. ccclxxviii. Visiting some people for a meal on a bright and cold day

      by , 05-05-2022 at 05:37 PM
      15th April 2022

      9:45
      Dream:

      In a somewhat surreal place. Daytime. There are some platforms? Doesn't seem like there's anybody else around.

      (recall gap)

      I'm at a dinner or lunch. It's sunny and bright outside, it looks a bit cold actually. The room isn't very big for a dining room and looks kind of bare apart from the table which fits in lengthways with the room. The window is a bit like the ones we have at home, double-glazed I think. Mom, dad and sibling T are sat at the table and I think I take a seat or am already sitting down too.

      Then some people enter the room I think, a man in his sixties and one in his fourties; the younger man is the other's son and has a wife who is also in her fourties. All of them are naked from the waist down and have unusually large genitals, two or three times what should be average. The wife has male genitals too, of such a size though she's otherwise average and modest. She has a faded blonde-ish-ness and her hair is tied back. I see all of this while being sat down but they are standing up and talking to us. The couple sits down next to T. Dad is sitting to my left and the other "dad" is serving me bits of food. It looks like we're mostly having meat, possibly mostly charcuterie at that.

      My small plate has some paprika-ish looking meat and then the older man cuts me some of those thin and long ones. Dad steals it from my plate and then the other guy makes a mock complaint while serving me some more, sitting down himself afterwards. Not sure what happens next, short gap in recall.

      I'm in the bathroom now, with T? The bathroom has a big double-glazed window down to ankle level or so, with no frosting or anything. I need a wee and try to do something about it but I also watch outside and see a doing being walked just near the window. There are other houses with large front-yard gardens very much like this one, no fences. All grass is neatly mown.

      After something, we're all leaving for us to go somewhere else. For some reason however, I stay behind and I think I watch the outside some more. It's different now or I'm at a different window, and see a street sloping down. Cobbled? I see them all go down this street, I think the hosts are actually fully clothed by this point. Eventually, as they get just about out of view, I decide that I should come with them too. Another short gap in recall.

      Then, we're at some kind of restaurant-like place. There are large tables and we walk over to one with six seats ready, but which would have room for eight or more people. There are other people in the restaurant and they're just sitting there. They seem to be staring at us and smiling slightly, I feel a little observed I think. The older man from our host group asks me if I want any crackers and I say yes. It looks like he's made himself a cracker with peanut butter on it.

      T seems to think this is a bad idea. I don't care and want to eat something, I think after having drunk some Schweppes or something. I'm about to eat the cracker, but my alarm goes off and I wake up.
    3. ccclxxvii. The McDonald's kiosk, interview to be a passenger

      by , 05-05-2022 at 04:31 PM
      9th April 2022

      9:30-9:45
      Dream (disjointed):


      I'm in a little town-ish area. Flat with a few green spaces. It seems clear or sunny but dim too somehow, like nearing the end of the day, though not colour-wise? I go towards a small building thing. It's supposed to be like a little kiosk but for McDonald's, these two things don't really seem related, almost. I pick up some order from a young woman, reminds me of A, H's sister. My order is in a big but strong brown paper bag and I check it over quickly.

      It all seems fine and I have awareness of having ordered a few happy meals menus. I walk away from the building with the bag, towards some stone stairs bit. Here, there's some dream-generated or popular character, and sibling T. They're sitting and we are about to start getting things out of the bag so we can eat here, but I suggest we should go up the steps instead and eat at one of the white tables up there. We go to the tables and they sit down. I open the bag now and get everything out. However, there's only 1 menu, which T takes.

      I feel confused, and then annoyed, asking him why he didn't order menus for everyone (implied to have been the point) and as he eats a bagel from his menu, he looks at me and does that smug shrug. I feel annoyed and go back down the steps and to that kiosk building. I get annoyed once more, as the woman has shut the shutters to the shop and is probably gone by now too. In my head, I think something about it being 3PM. I open the door to the building, and inside it looks like old home, the downstairs kitchen. There's a pressure cooker on top of the hob and I open it, finding nothing inside despite some expectation otherwise.

      I feel generally disappointed and annoyed. (Rest of recall for this part was lost)

      (recall gap, a late part of the dream?)

      I'm in a street and sitting down, talking to an unshaven Irish man (strong accent). He's a train conductor, and I'm being informally interviewed to determine whether I'm a suitable passenger for the city train he drives. I see the train in the background, we're sort of on a platform for it and there are people waiting inside the train. The Irish man is Catholic and as he's smoking a cigarette, he remarks something like "... thank God I don't follow it all to the letter."

      I mention my own Catholic upbringing and he seems to quietly appreciate this. When he asks about my general behaviour, I also tell him I won't be misbehaving or loud or anything like that, and that I tend to be quiet and out of the way in general. After a bit more talking and some other questions I can't recall, he then seems satisfied with me and I can now be a passenger on his trains. I get in and there's something about seat assignment that should be happening, but because I'm new there is no seat assigned to me yet. Then, I have some discussion with the driver about this, while the train goes into a subterranean area.

      He says something about refitting or remodelling the train in a few stops/minutes. Some man gets annoyed with the driver as he overhears this. The man says that he's late as is and can't wait that long. Then, something about disembarking with most other passengers. The conductor is down on the floor?

      (recall gap, unknown chronology)

      Something about a cyber man and cyber woman. They have a discussion about some memory. A third and younger cyber man checks his own memory for the event in question and confirms witnessing the details as relayed by the older man. The woman was lying, apparently. It was something about a loom of wires, part of an arm, and how it had been lifted. (?)

      (recall gap, unknown time again)

      Walking in a town, overcast. My hands feel very noticeably calloused and/or rough and I think to myself that it's the tenth day or something. I think that they're almost done forming the needed callus.