lucid

Thursday... I was probably asleep by 9 or 930. Off comp around 830, pretty exhausted.

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I got up once and remembered two dream fragments very vaguely. I think one was a forum thread but I forgot what forum. The other seems more involved but I lost them. Fell back asleep quickly.

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The next round of dreams I remembered in more detail. In the beginning, there was a big scene with Vegeta fighting Dabura. Dabura was huge, like his head was 5 times as tall as Vegeta. I thought it was waking life and a Youtube Clip. It scared me. I wanted to not look. However there were moments when Vegeta pummeled Dabura. I wanted to loop those to feel more hopeful, even though Vegeta seemed to lose.

I think there were more such moments. Something intense happened to the planet. Not sure. I remember trees in that scene.

I remember being in a food store. Something with one or two Oriental or Hispanic people.

Maybe something with a dog. Not sure.

Now my memory gets clearer. I was in a cafeteria room thing. (G), my first girlfriend from when I was about 14, was there. She was dating someone else.

We were in a cafeteria with circular tables. I got dessert and sat with (G). Now we were together and the guy she was with was gone. Something about eating the dessert. A little is vague here. I got up to get something else we wanted.

Walking to the front, I knocked over the projector rollout screens twice. People seemed mad at me. The thumb tacks went rolling on the floor. People were like, "You'll never find those push pins." But I easily found them. I attributed my ocular focus to something but I forgot what.

Then I went outside. I guess I ran one way or maybe just ended up in a parking lot. Not sure. There was something about how it had been snowing. I only had my sneakers, but I was gonna have to run accross the football field to get something, before it was too late. So I didn't want my sneakers to have to be all wet but they would. However it became warm without me noticing.

I clearly remember being in a parking lot and hearing (SD) and (JV) talking about dating.

As I heard them talk, I started running through the parking lot, back to the building down the road. I ran between some parked cars. Other cars were pulling in. I looked to the window for smoke, but no one was. 'Wow, lucky day,' I thought.

Running speed was good. In the dream context, I was thinking of how I hadn't lifted heavy in a week, and this would make me run much faster. I started to jump about 5 feet with one leg. 'Wow,' I thought. 'What a good way of running. I should always run like this.' Not realizing it was a dream.

There was a field to my left as I approached the building. I had to cross it to go in. So I went in there. There were four Japanese women with glowing auras. They had a disc they would play catch with, without touching the disc. They floated above it and rotated it underneath them, between their ankles, then above their head, then passed it. The aura was golden and the disc was reddish. It was dark out.

I joined right in, feeling confident that I could do it too. Without realizing it was a dream, I levitated and telekenetically passed the disc back to them. At some point I fumbled a little, and the woman on the left laughed. I wasn't too offended or anything, but I wished they would have noticed the skill I did spontaneously demonstrate, instead of kind of judging me. What do they expect? I've never done it before.

I ran accross the field some more and back into the school. Someone wanted red volley balls. I got into the gymnasium and there was a whole big hammock (like a 50 by 50 hammock) covered in red volley balls. Maybe it was superhumanly high up. However I was able to knock some down. So someone played with a red volley ball.

At some point my friend (E) turned out to be there. Apparently he had been there all along because I was his ride home. It was getting late as I was managing time with (G), time with another woman, a class thing, and getting my stuff to the car. "You could do my bidding," I suggested to (E). "I don't want to do your bidding," he replied.

He had assumed I was doing something highly illegal. So I just explained how I needed him to keep (G) company while I got to my class and picked up my stuff. It was late, too, perhaps approaching midnight. He understood that and agreed, since it would speed things up, for him to get home. He was wearing grey, too. I thought (E) and (G) might like each other and that was no problem.

With them there in the cafeteria, and (G) not alone any more, I went up to the class. At the same time, I think that (E) and (G) came upstairs and joined us. I felt estranged from (G) and she gravitated towards some of her friends. One of her friends had blonde hair. Then as a group I think we all walked up stairs. I remember sprinting up stairs at least once, maybe multiple times. In a big hurry, very overwhelmed.

We got to the upper class room and there was a counselor. It was like group therapy. However, all 6 to 10 people wrote every word the therapist said, for legal reasons. I saw some and it looked like inner child writing, but people were using their right hand. However my dream had still rendered it as inner child writing, which many times it renders handwriting as.

There was a form handed out with some boxes for things like SSN and all that. I either took one for later or left it. Sorry this part is a little jumbled. I had to go downstairs and back up. I had a key to get back into the building. It got later and (E) and (G) had to wait more. Eventually I ran back up to the class room with (E) to get what I'd left there. Wanted to take a storage bin but they were all full. So I just got everything in my arms. It was very chaotic.

I hadn't filled out the form thing, so I needed to take another to do while I was away. I got really mad when there didn't seem to be another. I began to curse and fume. Then with (E) there, I kinda caught myself. "Sorry, (E). I was just getting angry. I'm trying to work on that." I didn't curse and fume as much any more, and found a folded up form I could take. It was folded up into a square thing.

Then we went back downstairs. I forgot what else happened with (E) and (G). I remember seeing the blue bin in the therapist's office with papers sideways in it. Maybe something happened at the end, or maybe it just faded out.

I had another mini dream thing where there was concern for some water blasts going accross the land. It showed these two streams of water like a Hydro Pump shooting accross some land. People were concerned that it was bad for the Earth. However, it was not man made, but a natural phenomenon. I think that was it, for that part of the dream.

Cool! So I got these down. Kind of sad about the first round of dreams. I didn't recall much anyway but I'll keep my Voice Recorder running just for those small tid bits that I wouldn't want to go through all the trouble of opening up the computer for.

I'm happy about this dream. Wow! Now, it's 4:14 AM. So I must have slept until about 3:15. 9, to probably 1, up a little, then 3:15, so, 6 to 7 hours of sleep. I'll probably manage to get one or two more sleep cycles... Hopefully two.

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Okay, so now, its 5:56. It took a while to sleep so I must have only slept 30-45 minutes. So now I'm at 7-8 hours, closer to 7.

I might have forgot some earlier parts. My memory of it starts with being at my Nana's. Some stuff happened with my Aunt C, Uncle C, Nana, maybe Dad. Not sure. I might have woke up a moment, recalled, something, and fell back asleep. Maybe, maybe not.

I remember being in my Nana's drive way and there were some cars there and some plants. I ducked under some plants to escape something and was afraid the plants would make me itchy. Examining them, I saw they probably weren't poison ivy. But still worried.

After a computer part, I was in a room with couches. I was one of 8 to 12 actors there, being prepared for a movie. A young kid came and sat next to me. I felt a warmth but he hadn't touched me. I think it made me get lucid or I got lucid shortly after.

There was one guy there who was hung over and being abusive. Really not in a good place. bags under his eyes and such.

He was especially abusive toward a darker haired guy there. I guess everyone else ignored it. I forgot what else happened, maybe the director was saying some stuff. I tend to hone in on whose being abusive due to childhood.

So then everyone seemed to dissappear, and I was definitely lucid. I think one woman was in the room. I felt overwhelmed, like I had been dreaming forever.

I have these square wall mirrors from Target. They have no frame, just like 12' by 12' squares. There was one in the same shape but gold, and another green one, both still reflective. The gold one seemed to call out to me, 'Come and pick me up!' But it was more of a feeling.

I went over and picked it up. It had a yellow square character on there and a grey square it was on top of. The grey square was just an outline of a square. There were some words like "Im Ib Il" but I don't remember them now. I tried to read them out loud, and managed to pronounce them.

I looked at myself in the mirror, crying out. "I have to remember all this!!!" Just feeling overwhelmed by how much there was to remember. I guess my dream-state-self has learned that after many dreams which seem so vivid and memorable, I wake up drawing several blanks on key parts. There is alot of sadness there but we are continuing to make progress on bridging the worlds.

Eventually I put the mirror down and noticed the green one. I looked around, being lucid. There was a young person on a computer. I went and sat near them. They were looking up things and I saw words on the screen. They seemed nervous. I wasn't sure what to say. I had sat on their left side.

There was a woman at a computer accross the room. I went to see what she was doing. Not really thinking of wanting to fly or eat stuff or any of those possibilities, just being more social I guess. The woman was doing meetup groups. Thoughts of more things to ask her came to mind, as if I had the chance to do the "talk to your subconscious mind in a dream" thing. However, the dream ended.

False awakening! The dream ended but it was a false awakening. I had to go to the bathroom but didn't want to!!! I just wanted to write my dream. One woman in the room was playing some hip hop song which said "I want my life back" and other parts. In a male voice.

My dream journal chair was as it was. My pillows had blue pillow cases and I was gonna have to arrange them. I got up to use the restroom anyway. There were pots and pans around that I tried to pee in, to save time. But the bathroom was right there, so I went. The lights were on. That could be a dream sign. But I didn't get lucid.

The toilet was tiny, like one gallon. I started to fill it up. It was very yellow in color which usually isn't in waking life, more clear. After trying a metal stove pot on the side that was already almost full too, I heard the lyric "I want my life back" and realized I was gonna need to ask these people to turn that off for me to dream journal.

I went back out there and I think I tried setting up the chair. The dream details spun in my head and I was trying to hold them.

I was relieved when I had an actual physical awakening because all the dream details weren't delayed. I was able to slowly collect them back.

Lately when I try to recall dreams, I notice there are other competing thoughts. There usually were, to some extent, but I had an easier time focusing back on the dream. This is no surprise the other thoughts come up stronger, because I am more active in some other areas of my waking life. However, I wish I could be totally, 100% focused on my dream recall at those times, with nothing else "in my way". So I will keep practicing that. In 2022 I will have 10 yrs of dream recall so I will be even stronger then.

Now its 6:28. I doubt I will get back to sleep. 7-8 hours is like minimum for me. I'll try to lay back down.

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Started the day.

so I close my eyes and I was trying to do magic power in my dream I was moving my hand in gestures formation trying to make the darkness wrap around me like some sort of anime or cartoon for a little bit I jolt up to see if I was dreaming I was still awake I stare in the mirror with my eyes closes for a bit knowing where I was at then I start hearing laughter I lay down then slip in lucidity I still thought I was doing magic powers and hand gestures then I vanish vortex to 6 boys where they were sitting in a room that look like a hotel and it seem like I was staring at the audience from the laugh track that come on sitcom yet when they were talking to each other they would all starting laughing in unison I close my eyes tighter in my dreams then I become blind for a bit before I see them again now its only 2 boys that I see when my vision comes back one of those 2 boy out of the six picks up a remote and starts to change the channel and then I wake up seeing if I was still doing the hand gestures yet I was hugging my pillow and then after that the dream fades and I forget whats happens

Created Thursday 17 May 2018

Got three LDs to note, if two rather strained ones. There was probably another brief LD I'd forgotten in between these. There's also a fragment. I'm sure I had some other things in memory, but that's since passed.

Dream 1 - She Ain't Picking Up

WILD transition in bed. I had a tenuous grasp of the dream, so I hesitated momentarily. I got bored after half a minute, so I tried bringing my guide, E. But, after many attempts at calling to her, and imagining her form in reach, I just couldn't bring her in. Things collapsed soon after.

Dream 2 - Icy-lation

Another WILD transition in bed. Again, I lingered for a bit, waiting for something to happen, though it became apparent I had to take things into my own hands. I couldn't move. So, I fell through the bed and into the void. There, I tried bringing in E again, more intently this time, but again, no luck. Eventually, I landed in a mountainside snowfield, an overcast twilight above. This place was bare of life, a cold wind the only company. I looked around only for so long, when I sensed my physical body in bed. I couldn't maintain composure, and was corporally returned there. Still, the image persisted for a bit, silent yet moveable, remaining for at least a minute before I woke up.

Scrap Group 1
Unknown LD, of which I lost grasp. This somehow transitioned to below.

Dream 3 - Aiding the Red Witch

The visuals started quite blurred, but clarified over time. I was wandering around a city during a bright day. Semi-lucid (knew it wasn't real, but merely thought it was a dreamlet or daydream).

Later, I was psychically alerted of some world-threatening emergency. I rushed through a busy alleyway towards a large bus stop, the site of the crisis. There awaited a live-action version of I-No, the villainess from Guilty Gear XX. But, instead of being the source of the problem, she was actually in charge of stopping it, and was, in fact, the one who drew me towards the scene. From what I gathered, a force was controlling the minds of the masses. Anyone so enthralled was then set on a rampage. Said force had already spread throughout much of the city, and would have continued uncontrollably, had not I-No barred it from doing such. Once I arrived, the Red Witch demanded I interpose myself between her and the possessed, while she performed a spell to put an end to the madness. I internally questioned her intent, knowing she didn't care for anyone but herself, nasty personality notwithstanding. Still, for someone as scary as her to deal with such a threat, it must've been serious indeed...

I leaped past I-No, then ahead of the few remaining innocents huddled beneath the bus stop, where I formed an energy shield. Numerous stones were hurled towards us. Feeling their impact upon the barrier finally triggered lucidity. Anyway, I sensed I couldn't hold up the shield for long. I glanced back expectantly towards the witch, but she was clearly still preoccupied. "Not yet, meat puppet!", she hissed as she frantically meddled with glowing runes floating near her. Hmph.

Well, I thought it best to take a more offensive approach. So, I yelled "Animate Object!" (as per the D&D spell), and put a street light under my command. I had it swipe through dozens of the possessed, then stamp onto incoming vehicles. But, it was later mysteriously toppled, leaving it completely inert.

After that, I set up a Storm Pillar trap (another D&D spell) nearby, though it was unintentionally invisible. Nonetheless, it proved otherwise effective, zapping any foes that passed through with unseen electricity.

The hostiles' ranks were growing too thick. No choice but to get my hands dirty. After drawing a small sword from nowhere, I charged at the crowd, slashing and impaling with impunity. One unfortunate fat guy was even disemboweled. Either way, it seemed the possessed were not stymied by pain, stopped only by the most crippling wounds, or death. Excitement initially got the better of me, but I eventually felt remorse in having to resort to such violence. After all, these enemies were victims themselves...

Suddenly, the floor collapsed, sending me and those around plummeting to unknown depths. Things get unclear. Lost lucidity. There's a scene involving a rather bloody Tales of fighting game, which my brother Brandon and I played. The dream ended after that.

Scrap Group 2
In an unknown apartment suite. My brother Bud was there. I watch a video showcasing glitches in Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus. There's two involving I-no, a damage scaling bug, and a trick which allowed her to use Megalomania, her boss-only super. Later, some Guilty Gear Isuka combo videos with Anji. Time skip. I'm walking around an urban street near a gigantic school. I super jump dozens of stories up, yet even this wasn't enough to scale the entirety of the building.

Ok. 8:37 getting off the comp for bed.

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Okay! So, it took me a while to fall asleep. Maybe an hour, but I made it. I had one mini dream of a little wet cloth touching a side of a bath tub. There was some kind of special word in it.

Then I woke up a little, recalled it, and fell back asleep. The next dream was something short. I recalled it and fell back asleep. Now I can't remember what it was.

This next one got more involved. It seemed to be about my appointment tomorrow with (J). So where did it start? I was looking all over for my paper. I remember running in the woods. Running in the woods, thinking this will fix my dopamine receptors. At the arboretum. I remember it felt cool to run, and feel my lungs breathe.

The paper had his phone number on it. I hoped it was the right number. I called, and it turned out to be. But, it was an older woman. I was also running around upstairs to close the windows. Wind was blowing in. I didn't want to lose all the heat once it got cold at night.

My Nana, Aunt C, Uncle C, Dad, Mom and sister were there. Maybe others. I remember using the land line phone and thinking of my cell phone. Hm, this memory is a little more jumbly than I thought.

We were on a hill. The hill led down to a shore line on the beach.

I remember my Uncle and Dad saying something on the hill. It was night. Wow, I feel sad now. I thought that was gonna be alot more detailed when I wrote it.

I think it ended with my Dad having these really weird legume type things. They looked like extra big, golden brown pieces of dried rosemary. And then there were these other things. White circular things with some spiky top.

He said they were for helping go to the bathroom. They seemed too hard. Anyway, I think I took a few. He was going to give them to someone.

Something with my lap top in there maybe. We confirmed the appointment.

So I woke up and recalled that. However, I fell back asleep. This time by mistake. The other two times I chose to go back to sleep since it has just been a moment of a dream.

I dreamed of my room mate from college. I had been taking college courses but also playing guitar for 1.5 hours a day. Learning lots of songs, really fast. I remember thinking of how I played some impressive songs at a party.

I was out in town, near buildings and pavement and side walks. I was zooming in and out of something with a stair case, on my phone.

There was a rapper doing a song. I can't remember the words now. It's the first time I thought of it. But I knew who it was. The top of the stair case seemed to change.

Then I sat at the top of the stair case. About to do something else on my phone. I grabbed a pencil and tried to use the eraser side as a stylus and it made giant gashes in my screen.

'Oh no!' I thought, and tried to rub the screen clean. Nope, there were deep, deep gashes in the screen. I thought of asking my Dad if he could find another one of these Samsung Galaxies on sale at Amazon. But not sure how I'd do my hand-writing app with all these bumps.

I tried to run the stylus over them. It didn't seem like good news. I felt angry or sad or grief. I looked at the pencil eraser. There were some metal parts exposed that looked razor sharp. I felt like someone had planted it there to trick me into scratching up my phone.

Then I woke up in my physical bed. What a relief. Phone screen destruction night mares used to be alot more common. But then they went away so I stopped using it as a dream sign. I wasn't prepared! Oh well.

I also had a moment of maybe dream journaling in the dream. It said a name.

I thought, okay. That must be what I dreamed about in that second round of dreams. But maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. It was what I dreamed of dream journaling is all I am sure of.

Okay! It's only 12:03 AM, meaning I slept 2-3 hours so far. Weird, it felt like more sleep. Okay, back to bed! Wish me luck falling asleep!

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Okay! I just woke up and recalled another round. Here it is.

Nana's. My memory starts with me at Nana's. I remember being with my sister in Nana's room. She was on the chez lounge.

I think there was something with my Mom and Dad that's vague. Maybe a spill in the bathroom. I remember standing in a big sun spot in Nana's dining room. "It is so warm in this sun spot," I said to my sister and others nearby. There might have been a big plant there.

I think Nana's front door was open. I think there was alot more to that part which got forgotten as the dream went on.

In the next scene I remember, I had some kind of pie thing. Someone else was taking it. I only remember this vaguely.

I got lured to this opening to a trail where bees flew around. I saw the bee go for my pie. I think one of them, I protected myself, and its upper body imploded. So only its thorax was flying. (I don't harm bugs in waking life. Guess I felt threatened in the dream.) There was another bee, so I ran.

I wish I could remember the part before that. Blah.

When I ran back into the field or courtyard thing, there were spider webs sealing off each exit. They appeared quickly over the entrance I'd just come in by. It was brown dirt and outdoors.

I decided to get a stick and gently move one web so I could go out. I was still running, I think from the bee. (I also usually avoid breaking a spider's web in waking life due to all that hard work they did.)

When I turned around, a big furry mongoose snake hybrid poked its head out. It was brown. It didn't come at me though. When I turned around again another animal thing came out from the other side.

There may have been a Pokemon part.

After some unsureness, my memory starts at a library. I remember red stair cases. I remember night mode on screens. I remember wanting to print something.

My friend was using the computer by the printer to print his book. He told me I should get his book. Sorry, I wasn't really interested. I sat down, waiting for his book to finish. Some spiritual advisor guy sat down near me, talking to someone else. It sounded like program talk, very white-light and that kind of thing.

I started doing hyperventilating breathing and punching my legs, also growling. This was kind of because I needed to and also to be sure to make those pasty program people remember anger. I was angry about something. I forgot what it was now.

I also remember looking at all the library shelves, and what stairs to go up.

When I sat back down, I noticed a black hand gun was on the table. No one seemed to notice it, so I put it into my bag. In the context of the dream, it was my gun, but I wasn't planning on hurting anyone. I wasn't sure why I had it.

I must have got up, done something else, and come back. When I came back, the gun was out of my bag again, on the table. Was someone taking it out of my bag as a hint? Then, the guy behind the counter put on his headphones, and brandished a silver night stick. "You might wanna go use the bathroom," he said, hinting that I should leave my bag there again, so they could finish confiscating the gun.

"It's not what you think," I tried to explain. Then I woke up briefly and recalled it, then fell back asleep into the same dream. I was pretty relieved when I woke up and found that it had just been a dream.

When I got back to that, I was going up stairs in the library. Looking for tissues to blow my nose comes to mind. Oh, I had alot of boogers. I had so many boogers all over my hand. I also saw lots of boogers rubbed on the wall so I figured I'd rub my boogers there too.

Afraid the people would be suspicious why I'd left, I got ready to explain to them, how I was embarrassed about the boogers. Once I got further up, there was a big vat thing with fluid. I heard DG saying that he got a full time job through this new government program.

That's what it was. There was a new job program from the government, giving people more jobs. I was not interested, but DG was excited about it.

He said how he was working a full time job, and taking classes at night, to advance. This seemed silly to me. Trying to cram in too much.

I guess I went back down and my back pack was there. I think I typed some things or tried to manage my print-outs. I forgot what MK's book was about. But I know the pages were coming out in night mode. I was afraid I'd have to return another day to print. This seemed not fun because I wanted to have it done.

Then I guess the library was closing. Some people were upstairs.

Another image or scene pops to my mind so vaguely though. Just on the tip of my tongue. Ah, no way of unraveling it.

BZ called something down to me.

So BZ calls something down to me. I reply with, "You dirty rotten smoker!! Why don't you quit smoking?" Something like that. So he came on his way down.

The group of them got down stairs and came towards me. I thought of my gun in my bag, just in case, but was afraid to pull it out. In case it would just get me in trouble.

BZ became C and C walked right towards me. I started apologizing and gave him a hug. "I'm so sorry I called you that. I am just so upset about the smoke. But it was mean." We hugged for a while. He was kind of pinching a nerve in my back but he stopped. His clothes didn't smell like smoke, as I feared they would.

Because we were both males, the body positioning was a little awkward. I began to realize this after a while. So it got kinda awkward and so we kinda backed away. I guess that showed that by not having a gun, I had to use other means to make it safe for myself, like making amends. But if I'd had a gun, I wouldn't need to make amends. (I don't own guns in waking life.)

Then, it shifted, and lots of people started to stampede through. It became a long corridor. (I'm getting a little flash back of an earlier scene but IDK how to unravel it!) There were lots of African American people. Two men had silver or chrome teeth but with braces on top of that. I was like, "Awesome teeth!" And then I saw Ira. I was like, "Awesome teeth, Ira!"

Then two women were to my left. More elderly women. One gestured toward the other, and she showed me a big tongue ring. It was like a straight poke-through piercing. I said something like, "Cool, thanks for showing me!"

As I ran with them, I remembered that I want to recall that earlier part with the bugs. I had a sense I'd have an easy time remembering all those dreams. When I woke up, that proved not to be the case... I got the library parts but had some blank spots for the other earlier parts.

You know that feeling when you know for sure there was a dream detail there, but just not what it was? I figure if I know it was there, there's gotta be a way to unravel it.

Okay, now it's 2:40 AM in waking life time. I got 2-2.5 hours of sleep or 5-6 total so far. Hopefully I will get another 3-4 but just seeing how it goes. A lucid would be nice! But most importantly, whatever it is, I just want to remember it very, very thoroughly.

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I remembered in the last dream, someone definitely conned me into giving them something, before the bug part. It might have been CR. Couldn't unravel further. Does anyone have experience with unraveling a really distant dream detail?

Okay! I'm up with more dreams. My memory of these starts with Walter White from Breaking Bad, sitting with his back to a wall. He was saying how he and his wife would do anything to get out of depression. I felt like I had an answer.

There was more before that. At least 2 big scenes. There was something with an app. It said "Inner Child". It was a way of doing a phone meeting but from a special app with special features. Something about costing 3.99 or so. The screen was green.

I was thinking the app wouldn't help, because for phone meetings, people could do those free. No one would go to ones they had to buy an app to go to.

I forgot what else had happened earlier though.

Then I guess I was in the app without having paid. I was being shown various talks and forum threads. There was a talk going on where they talked about how harming a child is wrong. And if the child is crying, the person causing it should stop. But they often don't.

As I heard this, I cried deeply, realizing my trauma. I was sitting in my dream journal chair on recline, in front of a monitor. My sister and Dad were around. I was walking around at times and my sister wondered why I had to have that on, it was unpleasant to her. I had stationed little pieces of paper around the monitor area and heard my Dad (in my mind) complaining about the pieces of paper. They had trauma recovery stuff written on them.

I felt bad that it might upset my Dad. He always seemed to "function" like a machine, no matter what, but if he began to heal from trauma I am sure that he would break down. Either way I think its something that can't be bypassed.

I had been digging my feet into the ground unconsciously. When I went to sit back down, the whole bottom portion of the chair had caved in, because it didn't have the pillow underneath it properly. (Long story of how I designed my special chair). I saw that the legs of the chair had indented the tan carpet, and I had pushed it backwards by a foot. So I tried to adjust it back.

50 Cent was doing a rap about Jay-Z and another rapper. Something about it was humorous. I tried to scroll back to loop the 5 minutes of the audio that was giving me so much catharsis over my trauma.

I remember the pieces of paper with words, in the cups. I was sad about my trauma but also glad to be having the tears, since I want to heal. I am unable to cry in waking life due to brainwashing but I've had some healing weeps in dreams.

Okay, so then, I think I woke up, and recalled all 3 scenes. The one I just said, the half of the one before it I said, and maybe the rest of the earlier parts I was unable to unravel.

I must have drifted to sleep again, this time lucid. I found myself on the beach.

I was with (A). In a kind of house thing but it only had the beams on each corner and roof... No walls! So we could see out to the beach all around. I guess it was for putting a tent over as needed.

We were talking about something when I realized I was in a dream, and became lucid. He had a bowl of pasta with red sauce and parmesan cheese to eat. He sat up on a table and I stood on the ground there. I think I was talking to him first while he ate, but I wondered if I could have some food, too. Being that it was a dream, I would have loved to have had some italian food!

I think I was telling (A) about my previous dream. He took a turn to speak, but while he spoke, he prepared his next bite of food, stirring around the sauce. As he finished speaking, he took a 2-3 inch diameter chunk of parmesan cheese to eat, and ate that. There were other big chunks too. He looked alot like (A) from waking life.

There were some big meat balls in an oven. The oven was open but they seemed to be baking. Nothing seemed for me though. (A) said, "Looks like your pasta got really solid." And pointed to a brown rock near by, on a beam counter top thing.

It was definitely a rock. But I wanted to have some fun here. He knew it was a very solid and hard rock. I looked at it, got ready, felt some doubts, but went for it anyway. Like I had intended, it became powder in my mouth. It was like a semi-sweet powder.

(A) was pretty amazed. I offered him to test the remaining rock if it were still a rock. Sure enough, to him, it was a solid, hard stone. But I was able to bite it.

"You must be so wise, that you're teaching me something, without acting like you know you are," I said to him. I meant that I thought he was lucid, too, but acting like he wasn't, to teach me. It felt like more of a shared dream than a subconscious dream.

This is where it gets really interesting. And more what i feel are third-party entities come along.

In the distance, I saw about 5 men with black hand guns approach. All wearing some soldier uniform, one brighter yellow green, one greener, I forgot the rest. Some helmets.

I felt some fear as they approached. Being lucid, I got ready to fly. There was a beam I would first aim to jump to, then a roof higher up, which I could escape from.

"Come with us," they ordered me. 'No,' I thought, and jumped up to the beam. I felt heavier, and hadn't flown yet in the dream. Maybe they were making me a little less able to fly. I aimed for the roof and jumped up. Got up about 10 feet but I would have needed another 5 feet.

Looking down, I saw two of the men had the hand guns pointed at me. "Get down here like we said, or we'll shoot!" I didn't want to feel a bullet if I moved another inch. "Okay, I'm coming down," I said. "I'm coming down!! Don't shoot!!" I added, afraid they would just be so reactive that they'd fire anyway.

I was afraid to go with them. It didn't seem like a good place to go... Where as I could talk about my trauma healing dream with (A), I felt my body go cold and numb when I got near these "dream agents" or whatever they were. But, I was gonna just go with them, I guess. I half expected it to be a long dream of me being imprisoned, questioned, something like that.

When my feet touched the dream ground, I simply woke up. I don't know if I would have woke up if I'd have kept fighting, trying to fly away or deflect the bullets. If it was a shared dream with (A) it probably seemed kinda weird to see all that, if he woke up and remembered. But I could see how if (A) was non-lucid, the "dream police" would come to get me for doing alchemy on the stone. Still, I already did it! So, too late.

I've heard of these dream police when showing off dream abilities. Maybe it's just a schema. Or maybe its an actual thing that happens "out there" in the shared-dream field and by accepting the reality of it, I can learn how to... Work around it, fight it, deal with it, etc. What do you think?

Now it's 4:31 AM. I hope to sleep at least once more but maybe even twice. I think I've accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep by now. Need more!

-----------

Alright! I got me some more dreams.

First I dreamed of being in a restaurant I worked at growing up.

Only it was criss-crossed to where the manager was someone from a different restaurant I'd worked at. It was early in the season. A couple had sat in the front at a square 4 top.

T (The manager) had already taken some of their orders. I was surprised that he had memorized everything. The people started to tell me that they wanted wine coolers. They already seemed to have cups so I was confused.

I sat down with them and said, "I haven't worked here in a year!" My voice sounded different. I remember the windows in the front, and the dark brown. I forgot if anything else happened.

I woke up, recalled that, and went back to sleep. "No way I'll forget that," I thought. However, I almost did forget it... after I woke up and recalled the next dream, it took me quite a while to dig that one back up.

Well, I fell back asleep, and had another dream. I was on the computer. Then I decided to go on a forum. Before I could make it to the forum, I woke up.

I woke up and recalled those, then recovered the memory of the restaurant dream. I decided to let myself go back to sleep before recording because they were short dreams.

My last dream I dreamed about a computer again.

I dreamed I was in my back yard too. So, I woke up, recalled those, and got up and typed.

Now its 7:20 AM meaning I slept another 2 hours. So now I have 8-9 hours of sleep under my belt. It still seems like not enough, and that I could sleep more. I will see if thats possible and if not, start my day.

------------

Well, looks like its time to start my day. I can always nap if I'm tired. That was really nice to have a full night sleep again.

Quite a few things to note, including two LDs. The rest are mostly scraps, though.

Scrap Group 1
Various WBTBs between each dream.

False awakening in bed. The sound of the back door opening spooked me. I'd fears of intruders breaking in, maybe crooks, or even of horror movie villains. A large figure then creeped in bed. Luckily, this was a friendly female spectre. Still, she did take the time to play tricks on me.

Something about me and my brother Michael talking about Killer Instinct.

At home. My niece and nephew were there, only now, their hair was an unusual orange. Made the poor guess that they must've been out in the sun too long. Their cousin, Leo, was also visiting. Michael took charge of them all. Later on, Leo fell on the floor, hollering in pain from a twisted arm. Michael lifted him up, and placed him in the nearest bed. Meanwhile, I gathered towels so as to fill them with ice for the kid's injury.

Dream 1 - Magical May Dreaming Competition 2018 - Day 15 - Part 1

The visuals were dim and blurred. False awakening in bed at night. I overheard dad making a commotion in the kitchen/living room. Very concerning, but also suspicious, given the time frame. Thus, I figured the dream out. I didn't roll off like usual. Instead, I 'projected' another body, sending it from out the bed and to the front door. I could see and feel through both forms, half from my left, and the other half from my right, but this quickly got disconcerting. So, I rubbed hands, until I was completely anchored to the 'dream body'. Next, I tried phasing through the door, but something kept repelling me. I resorted to go through it by jumping backwards, which worked perfectly.

Outside under a cloudy night sky. I launched myself up high and towards the eastern horizon. Dawn light slowly emerged, and with it, a vastly more vivid sight. Concurrently, I could hear Silent Forest Zone Act 1 from Sonic Lost World sounding in the background. The music might've explain my encountering a broadleaf forest below. I land on a clearing to ponder for a bit. Out of spontaneity, I conjured Eddie from the shadows. He had this big, goofy smile on his face, more a caricature of his normal self (well, as normal as an amorphous, shark-looking shadow beast would be). Actually, as I looked around, the environment had a more whimsical, cartoony appearance, huge leaves spinning all around me in the background. Anyway, I shouted orders at Eddie, commanding him to become a buzzsaw, then a drill. Looked kinda weird to see this frontward rather than side-to-side as in the usual games. I then took off again on my own.

Later on, I arrived at a prairie, the sun fully risen, and the visuals realistic again. I soon landed by a dated shopping center, approaching from the back of the stores. Remembering the contest, I called out to various DV members, including KarlaB18 (though I initially mistakenly called her KarlaB12, and at times, Carlie). When no one showed up, I started shouting their names in feigned outrage. In hindsight, probably didn't help. There were some passerby's near a bar, many of those folk of college age, though I couldn't distinguish anyone by sight (and didn't think ask). I then tried the chocolate cake TOTM. I tried summoning a piece of chocolate cake. Darkness swirled around my hand, but failed to solidify. Things destabilized, and I woke up.

Dream 2 - Magical May Dreaming Competition 2018 - Day 15 - Part 2


Scene 1 - Realized The Mix Up a Bit Too Late
The visuals were a bit blurred. I was working in my old job at the gas station (again?). A former co-worker, Rita, was there as well. While in the registers, a tall balding guy said he had trouble with pump 17. This threw me off a bit, as there was no such numbered pump. Then, out of nowhere, an enormous queue formed before me. Furthermore, the orders between Rita and I had somehow got jumbled up. While trying to sort this mess, I got lucid... if only for a few seconds before the dream collapsed. DEILD back in.

Scene 2 - Warp Blast of Disapproval
Similar visuals. I was at home, upstairs. Got aware once I remembered being in bed. I overheard my in the nearby room speaking with mom, the two talking a lot of smack about me for whatever reason. I tried just concentrating on other things, but they got obnoxiously loud. So, I fired a ki-blast at their direction, a warning shot aimed towards the ceiling there. Somehow, I got warped in that very location. I slid down to the floor of the oddly empty room. Got lost in thought. Things destabilized, and the dream collapsed for good.

2018, 05-15

The Dark Tower – Blaine is a Pain

I am in a green meadow near a stream. There is a deer here, she is drinking from the stream. I see there is a monorail track not far away. Then I know what is about to happen. I see the light from Blaine the Mono speeding along the track so I teleport over to the deer and form a shield around us. Blaine speeds past in a blur, stirring up a lot of debris in his wake. The sonic boom that comes after he passes is almost deafening. The deer I am protecting is scared but unharmed so I release her and she runs off. But I’m supposed to be on Blaine! I run parallel to the track and then jump up and fly. I focus energy into it and fly like the characters on Dragonball Z, speeding along the track to catch up with Blaine. I fly right next to Blaine for a bit, matching his speed but unsure of how to get in. I finally figure I should just phase through the wall of Blaine, so I try to focus on that… I manage to phase through the wall and then I make a spectacularly unimpressive crash into what looks like a piano, coming to a stop with a loud BRANG noise.

My sudden arrival has surprised everyone on the train except for MoSh, who is just looking over at me. Everyone else is wanting to know how I was flying, how was I flying as fast as Blaine, how did I get inside from out there. Blaine says I am rude for coming in uninvited. He also says I am rude for collecting all the toxic gas back in Ludd. I tell him I wasn’t being rude, I was simply solving his riddle… figuring a way to stop the toxic gas and still get on board to be with my friends. I never meant it to be rude. Good riddle, by the way. I was barely able to solve it. Blaine seems to accept my treating the situation as a riddle and is more than happy to take credit and praise for setting the riddle up. So having appeased Blaine for my unexpected arrival the riddling continues.

Roland is telling riddles one after another, and Blaine is answering each of them instantly, with no hesitation. Susanna and Jake seem to find that very disheartening, but Eddie looks like he has zoned off into another dimension. This appears to have annoyed Susanna, who looks like she’s about to bring Eddie back with an elbow to the ribs but thinks better of it when Roland shakes his head slightly while looking at her. MoSh says he has some riddles he could contribute. I know some, too. I can’t remember specific riddles, just that Roland, MoSh, and I took turns giving out riddles for a while but we weren’t having any luck in stumping Blaine. I am thinking Blaine is cheating with his vast databanks, maybe I should hack in and break the connection and see how many riddles he can solve then… Blaine says we are almost out of time, we are almost to the end of the line.

But now Eddie seems to be coming back to us and it looks like he is about to crack up laughing. He starts telling his silly joke / riddles, and that is clearly pissing Blaine off. He tells a dead baby joke, I’m not even sure if that really qualifies as a riddle since logic gets nowhere with it… but Blaine takes it as a riddle and refuses to answer. Roland says if Blaine is going to cry off then we win and he has to keep his promise. He gets mad and sounds like he’s having a tantrum more appropriate to a spoiled 3 year old. MoSh adds in a couple nonsensical riddles, and Eddie adds another… and now the only response from Blaine is a bunch of nonsensical sounds, quote fragments, and random words that make no sense at all. My next response is, “Cool… you broke his brain!” The entire system crashes, the lights go out, the engines shut down. But we might still crash. I tell everyone to gather around me and I’ll make a shield to protect us all. I form a force field around us, Roland is apologizing to Eddie, and then we crash. Once we’re stopped an emergency escape hatch in the ceiling pops open. Roland is asking if everyone is ok. I lower the force field but then I wake up.

I got off the computer around 7 and stopped taking in any media. That's kinda my policy now since I need processing time. I think I was asleep by my goal time of 9.

Okay so dream one not much was recalled. I recalled driving through a crowd of people to get to a mall. I had my windows wide open because I thought I knew the people. When i realised I didn't know them, I quickly shut my windows, afraid of smoke.

I came accross some friends sitting against a wall. P S and J R and some others. But I don't remember what we did or said.

There was another part to that dream I initially recalled but then fell asleep!

I dreamed again and woke from them. This time it was a little clearer but still groggy. I remembered something with being at a food store. Something about needing to use the bathroom.

I was at my Nana's. She cooked for us. I was trying to do something on my phone. There were alot of alerts on my recovery forum. I was telling someone that if they use machines for exercises, make sure their back isn't held in place, so they can adjust the angle. Trying to explain that.

There was a bully at my Nana's. He was talking about something abusively or just something that felt wrong to me, at Nana's table, with another friend. I called him out on it. He was a big guy. He tried to invalidate me. I continued writing my thing, beginning to fume.

Then 6 of us were going to give talks about a recovery topic.

My turn was last. A glass was rolling around on the floor. I was afraid the bully guy was going to say, "Just skip his turn! Let's get out of here!" I saw him more and more as a sick and wounded person, and that's where his bullying came from. Not really an evil person but acting quite hurtfully towards me, in his diseased thinking and defense mechanisms. Out of touch with true feelings.

So before he could speak, I said that it's my turn, and I don't want him to cut me off. He kind of laughed, tauntingly. I felt it was hard to speak. My voice was so quiet. The guy at the front of the room was wearing a dark black or grey shirt with yellow pumpkin carving moon design things semicircley things on it. He said, "Wrap it up" or "Hurry it up." This is always a huge trigger for me - Being told to not talk as much or something. Being oppressed, rushed, or made to feel unimportant. Not given the chance to be fully heard.

I had already been thinking of saying it in 5 sentences though since I genuinely wanted to go, too. My first sentence was, "I was born with trauma." Then I woke up. Oh, it had just been a dream.

I woke up, recalled and recorded that one. Then laid down to get back to zleep.

Falling asleep didn't seem like it was gonna happen. My legs were fidgety. But luckily, it happened. I'm glad I didn't give up because I had alot of wakefulness within my dream.

I thought I'd try just typing this instead of voice recording. Okay so initially I had a dream which was kind of underwater. It was like Sponge Bob, Mr. Krabs, Patrick, and other characters in some fight or something. It's kinda vague to me now because as you will see, the dream chain went on quite a while.

Okay so then the next thing was that I was going through a bin. It had a Pokemon crystal cartridge, but with no label. Then I was in a class room, talking to a dream figure.

She said that she didn't like classes. I remember the teacher was up front of the class and there were other kids there. I told her grades weren't such a big deal. Hey eyes opened wide at the revelation. I liked talking to her and felt I was being helpful. Not telling her to go live recklessly but just to have some balance in her life and let go of all the pressure and perfectionism.

Then everyone disappeared! I think I became lucid somewhere in there. Forgot exactly how. It must have just dawned on me.

Then I walked around and came accross a heavier set guy near a bus. He reminded me of someone I'd seen before, but now, I'm not sure who. I decided to talk to him.

"How are you?" I asked. "So, so," he replied. The words stuck with me. I don't remember the rest of the conversation, but it was pretty interesting.

Next there was a bus driver. We were near a yellow bus. There was something with maybe the bus driver being mean. I'm not quite sure.

I think there was a whole scene with non-human beings of some sort. but it got to be such a long dream chain that the details must have just faded.

What I remember next! Is waking up to dream journal. But in a false awakening! The light was on bright in my room. I was sitting at the edge of my bed and leaning on a light goldenrod brown colored table.

There was pop music playing, of a female singer. Playing loudly. I started to wonder how to turn that off. Then I realized that was my dream sign! So this might be a dream. I proceeded a bit cautiously, not being sure. I also noticed although I was sitting up to write, my voice recorder was also out.

I don't know if I tried a finger palm test then but I remember jumping up to fly. When I stayed in the air a bit extra longer, I got the sense it must be a dream.

I think that I had 3 more dream chains after this one but when I tried to recall it, I couldn't quite tell. So I will just do my best here.

I think the next part of the dream chain was the same dream. I flew downstairs and found lots of food. Ah it is so painful not knowing what I missed. I have this inner feeling there was something else cool but I just couldn't recall it. Just on the tip of my tongue, teasing me.

After flying around a little in the living room, I realized the dream was pretty stable. So I decided to go to the fridge. Then I realized there was food all around. Maybe it just appeared. Pretzels, white frosting dip in a tall tube, some sandwich things I think, and then a yellow-crust pie with purple filling appeared. The crust was really flaky.

Eating dream food is a really expansive feeling for me because I have food allergies in waking life. So I can hardly eat anything. So eating a big variety of dream food is akin to traveling the universe for me. The feeling of just being able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, is something I can have only in a dream.

So I enjoyed the foods. I remember the pretzel was soft. I was like, "Why did Dad leave these all here?" More of a waking life thought. Then I thought of something sweeter and the pie appeared. And I dipped the pretzel generously in a big tube of white frosting. It definitely tasted sweet. I forgot the exact order of the earlier dream foods.

Maybe I rubbed my hands to stay stable around here. I know I did it at one point. Another thing was I went to drink water. I figured taking a drink of water in the dream would make me more stable because of hydration? I don't know but it made sense to me then. So I picked up a big poland spring thing. One of the ones that is like a 3 gallon water dispenser, the big plastic one. And drank from that.

I think I woke up briefly, thought about it, and popped back into it. At this point I saw the food again and wanted to be really sure it was a dream. I think a podcast or radio thing with a woman's voice was also playing.

Oh yeah I forgot. When I was floating before I tried a front flip but it didn't work.

My finger palm tests this time were very interesting. They made a kind of stringy bubble appear on the other side of my hand. I did it 4 times, just enjoying the sensation. I also attributed some dream stability to it. When I was sure, I went for more dream food.

Once I was satisfied with that, I decided to move on. Also I heard something coming, down the stairs! I became a little wary and went to the wall behind the stairs. I saw its back and it was a grey lego K'Nex creature.

I felt afraid of it. Like I had been dreaming so long that it was here to destroy me! So once it passed through the kitchen a bit (moving slowly) I went for the front door to escape.

It seemed to notice me and begin to turn around. Before I could make it to the front door. So I ran the other way to the back of the house where the kitchen door would be. However, I was surprised to find a glass door going outside to the back yard... In the middle, where the bathroom would have been!

I ran for that, hoping to jump and phase through it, saving time. Then I started to doubt myself. I wondered if the door just wouldn't open. So it was very expectational.

The door did open though, and I got out. I remember the door handles were interesting. The looked complex, designed to lock me in. As soon as I got a little bit out of there, I popped back into my bed, once more.

I feel I am missing a whole entire segment from my memory. This is what happens to some of my REM Rebound dreams when I have had insomnia. Really long dream, sometimes very lucid, but too long to remember it! And too groggy or rusty from being low on sleep and out of practice recalling longer dreams. So I guess for me regular sleep patterns would be ideal and give a higher percentage recall.

Then I laid in bed and the ringing got to be very intense. It almost scared me. More ringing than usual. At first I just laid there, seeing if I'd pop into a dream on my own. But then I decided to get up. I knew it wasn't my physical body moving, but a "dream" or "astral" body.

I stood up on my bed, still only experiencing self-proprieception, but having no sight. Like I could feel my limbs moving and my direction and all that but no sight except black. I put my arms up overhead and jumped toward my ceiling. As I jumped, I thought something like, "I want to go to a pleasant place" but those weren't the exact words. I don't remember the exact words but they felt just right.

I remember thinking that I'd like to go to a really nice expansive place. Or some place where I could face an issue, but where I'd have the strength to face it, and the support, too. Not just a place where I'd be totally steam rolled.

Well I appeared in space, surrounded by square screens or photographs. I flew around and looked at each one hanging there in space. I tried pulling some things out of the photos into 3 dimensional. In one case I got to eat salmon locks.

I just got a HUGE influx of the memory I lost. Something canine. Unfortunately it faded afterwards. Just on the tip of my tongue again.

Okay so I woke up after a little more exploration of the photographs. This time I was clearly in my physical bed, no false awakening or anything like that. I thought the dreams through.

As usual, and I will note this 100,000 times, during the dream, I felt so sure that I'd just remember it all with the utmost ease and detail. But once I woke up I realized... Oh, yeah. Uh. Wait, what just happened? So, that's just that.

I'm glad to have had such a lengthy dream. I wanted to type it right after I recalled it, instead of voice recording, then waiting to type it that day, which could be redundant. It was weird because after I recalled it, I was like, jammed up about what recording method to use. But theres a little urgency like, well, gotta try something before the memory fades.

Okay, back to sleep... Its only 5:52 A M so I should be able to sleep again.

I didn't get back to sleep. Sometimes I feel like I should be able to but don’t.

5/9/18
I was in Oklahoma for some reason. On a familiar body of water, there were huge sieves with plants on them. At a higher elevation, sprinklers were suspended from towers to water those plants. After entering the house across the bridge, which turned out to be my old house, I found BotW on the TV and a non-existent president. There was an explosion, so we went into the kitchen, Later, there were slides outside. Sliding down one was a light blue translucent object that was represented by "UO₂", and an object with rotary blades represented by "UEO₃". Earlier in the scene, we passed by several farms and one Cola stand. 2 people manned the stand, and nobody else was around. The weather was sunny and clear. During the sprinkler scene, I turned on Google Earth's clouds layer, which revealed a few broken cumulus clouds.

5/10/18
-F-Something about Planetshot.

5/11/18 (L)x3
-(L)-I became lucid and lost it after 10 seconds.
-(L)-Later, I became slightly lucid for 5-10 seconds.
-(L)-Later, I became lucid once again and remembered a tiny amount of stabilization.
-There was a thing where lots of characters were in a place surrounded by very rough ground. Teleporting was involved. There was a crossover episode between MLP and Avatar.
-Time traveled in a delorean. I tried to stop my past self from doing that.

5/12/18
-1-Twilight Sparkle and I tried to enter a settlement of sorts. I was a changeling. Chryssi showed up too. When we tried to approach the changeling settlement, we got flung back by a force. The closest stable area was a plain of mostly rock. The scene was a little foggy and somewhat dark, with incorrectly bright lighting. [FA] I woke up in my old house and ate ice cream.
-2-Took a music class at my college and missed a storm cell.

5/13/18 (L)
-1-I explored a building at college. The layout was completely different, and I didn't catch the fact that the interior style was very similar to one I had seen in a past dream.
-[FA]-Woke up and caught the FA. I calmly moved around in my dream bed for several seconds before a real-world lightning flash woke me up for real, eyes still closed. That was just a little bit frustrating.

5/14/18
Spending a day in this particular desert world would be like spending a week in the prime world. (time differential) Twilight Sparkle entered the desert world looking for something. Trump was looking for an object in it. Later, Twilight found what she was looking for, and it turned out to be Spike and Discord. Also, it was all an unrated fanfic that appeared in a feed on Fimfiction.
[New Scene]
There was a scene at a building in a temperate area.

5/15/18
I had some dream control over the ceiling of a place covered in snow. Also, there was a villain going around changing history, but leaving metaphorical bread crumbs for me to follow.

5/16/18
-F-Something about getting maximum score on a something.

5/17/18 (L)x6
3 WILDs, 3 DILDs. Unfortunately, due to poor recall in exam week, I don't remember much of them. There was stuff about snow, driving, a gamecube, and weird people in black suits. The first 3 LDs were the WILDs, and the following 3 were DILDs. In the final LD, I did an RC while driving a car, and when lucidity was confirmed, I immediately spun outside of it. I performed some basic stabilization (somewhat poorly) and remained lucid for close to a minute before getting distracted.

Lucid Time: 46-79 sec + 90-145 sec

Got a very brief DILD to note. There's lots of other dreams I've since forgotten.

Dream 1 - Dark Tension

Scene 1 - Poof, Just Like That
The visuals were very dim and quite blurred. I was walking out the door at night. Got aware. I rubbed hands, but things quickly destabilized. DEILD back in.

Scene 2 - Orbiting Iridescence
Similar visuals. Transition in bed. Felt very tense, and I had trouble controlling my (in-dream) breathing. Tried transitioning by rolling off bed, then attempted to summon my DG, E, but couldn't do either. Later, I floated around the room, if not fully controlled, for I was unwillingly orbited around an unseen point. I thought of the chocolate cake TOTM, and tried conjuring such in my hand, but no luck. The dim visuals was bothering me. So, I called out "Continual Light" (as per the D&D spell). Mesmerizing iridescence sprung from my hand, though it wasn't very bright. I tried raising its intensity. Instead, like ink, the light spread throughout the room. The dream collapsed soon afterwards.

I got lucid briefly. There was something with "7X" Goku. (Giant shoulder pads) I was on a merry go round thing holding on with only my hands. I fought someone and pinned them to the ground and took their gun. I forgot a really interesting part but just remember getting lucid from some objects that were a dream sign.

Overwatch twitch streamer
4/29/2018
In this dream I was a m2f2m transgender overwatch twitch streamer. Wow, what a combo. I was getting ~20 viewers on average. I was using a facecam and made the mistake of mentioning my real name to the audience. The viewers then searched my past and found some racy photos and private info about me that I didn't want to get out to the public. Turns out I transitioned to female- voice, breasts, and all- and took naughty pictures before getting off treatment and going back to being male. The chat started asking questions and teasing me for my life choices. I had a dream memory of wanting to be a government employee. I was called in for an interview not knowing what specific job I had wanted. They offered me various jobs, and I agreed to an office job. They started the interview for it and I just absolutely bombed the interview. I feared more private info would get out and I panicked. I left a competitive game I was in and immediately felt my heart skip a beat. The entire chat was spamming MonkaS and Pogchamp. I quickly rejoined the game, but was afraid of getting punished by blizzard, the maker of the game overwatch.
For the record I am and have always been a straight male with no desire to become female in waking life.

Mascot job and minecraft drop.
Took a job at a school being a mascot. I was not the only mascot, there seemed to be about 20 of them in total. $10 an hour, not bad. I thought I had another job lined up to start in a week, but it turns out that one fell through. I still had a dress from when I was female from before the previous dream? I didn't use it. Visited grandparents later in the dream, but forgot details.
Another dream involved going through a 20x20 hole in a minecraft world. It was part of a mountain and the entrance shrunk before opening up to a large area. I recall looking at all the beautiful scenery that showed up from the other side of this hole, and as I was walking along a cliff, someone walking with me pushed a friend of mine down the cliff. It was a very very long fall, and at the bottom was a huge pond. The pond was completely surrounded by the mountains in a circle, so I worried both for the friend surviving the fall and how they'd get back out. The person who pushed the friend down there assured me the friend would be fine, but I wasn't convinced.

5/2/2018
Another dream of me committing a crime..Must be an internal fear. I was super exited to see the POTUS AND FLOTUS in the dream. I had a mini camera. It was a stick, taller than wide, but it was small. Just big enough to peak over my hand as I clinched my fist. I took a picture of the POTUS AND FLOTUS, but was charged a crime for this. I guess it had something to do with unauthorized photography or concealed camera or something lol.
I had a choice of paying a fine or getting a small jail sentence. I was in the Overwatch League, either in contenders or open division. I was not a pro though, it was like I won a contest or something. Very awkward for me, because there was a warrant out for the crime I had committed. I guess they didn't know who did the illegal act, but they announced what the charges were? I shared with my teammates that I was the one who did the crime and that got me kicked off the team. My Asian dad(Turns out I was Asian in the dream!) tried to get me into the Shanghai Dragons. He bribed the team $5000 to let me on their team.

A few hours later I recorded these two dreams.
Visiting brother
I was visiting my brother. He was super depressed and lonely. He lived alone and was very sickly. I was visiting with a few family members. We visited to try to support and encourage him, but he was very defensive on everything we said and did. He did not want out help and he rejected us. He offered me a soda. I went to grab a glass from the cabinet and found there were no clean glasses. In fact, there was no clean dishes at all. Many were piled in the sink and scattered around the counter and floor. I then saw that the trash was way overflowing as well. I was going to clean a dish and my brother like freaked out. He didn't want me touching his stuff. He expressed that he had no clean laundry and had not taken a shower in a long time either. I pleaded with my brother to please let me do the dishes or help around the house in some way, but he drove me and my family out of the house. I left in tears realizing I may never see my brother alive again due to how sick he was and how sad his life had become. (My brother is in a bad place iwl, but he is nowhere near that depraved.)

Invictus.
I dunno what caused me to realize I was dreaming, but I looked around me and saw I was in a dark house, with little lighting. To confirm the dream and ground myself I did the nose plug RC to great success. I could breath clearly through my plugged nose. This was a strange occurrence to me, because in the past when I do that RC I could breathe indeed, but it'd usually be as if I was congested or could only barely breathe. I then remembered to check if I could plug my nose and breath through it without using my fingers, but doing so only caused me to stop breathing. I looked at my hands for a second to try to increase the dream's clarity, but it either didn't work or I rushed through it. I then tried remembering my dream goals. I thought for a second, but couldn't figure it out. I then announced that around the next corner would be someone that could interpret my dream goal. I walked around the corner and indeed someone was there!

...It was my sleeping brother. I woke him up and told him he was dreaming, and a part of my dream. I explained that he would be the one to tell me what I was supposed to do in this dream. He just mumbled a few words about invictered, invict...something. He then fell back asleep. Figures. I leave this room and walk down a hallway and see a lit room at the end. I go to the end and I see my dad. I figure he must know what it is I wanted to do now. I say that I want to spawn something, and then try to share with him the word my brother tried to say. My dad clarified the word was Invictus. Invictus is what I am to spawn in this dream. Got it. (For the record, this was never one of my dream goals. I didn't know what Invictus was at the time let alone did I want to spawn such a thing.) Invictus is supposed to be some sort of alien invader that would be reaching earth soon. I walk through the hallway and open the front door and say to the sky "Invictus will invade in ten seconds." I then start counting down from 10, while searching the house for a weapon. I can't find one within the 10 seconds I had, so I just got outside and continue the dream plot. I then say "Invictus will invade now." As I had already counted down from 10 without anything happening. I was in a random neighborhood at dusk. The sun was going down and I could only see well due to street lights. As I look for Invictus I hear and see an aircraft flying overhead. A few soldiers then spotted me from a distance and mistook me for one of the alien invaders and shot at me. I surrendered and shouted "I'm innocent!" Then then came closer and put the arms around me and started walking me through the street. I then see 2 Velociraptors run past me as I realize things are getting real now. Some soldiers shoot at the dinosaurs with no success. I then see a dragon on the sidewalk on my right!

It was a very long yellow and black chinese dragon. The soldiers shot at it too until we got closer and found it was just a kids ride you'd see at a grocery store...Now 8 or so more Velociraptors passed by on the left with a leader dinosaur guiding them. I was about to look closer at the larger dinosaur but I got distracted by a crowd of people chanting to my right. They were shouting what seemed to be political slogans. I thought it very odd until I could hear just what they were saying. They had signs that read Trump 2020 and were saying things like "SUPPORT TRUMP"(To parody the slogan 'Abort Trump') and "All Lives Matter"(Opposed to only black lives matter). They spotted someone who disagreed with what they were saying and the one in charge of the march responded that they should all go and hug the person who disagrees with them.

I am sitting at my kitchen table with a friend. They say something about how they can never tell if they're dreaming (cue lucidity! :) ) I become lucid and tell them this is a dream, and that they should do an RC. They tell me it isn't working so I leave them and fly around inside. When I land it's clear I'm losing lucidity because I start believing they are real again.

Later I have a non-lucid in which I run on the roofs of apartments and then talk to someone about a complicated plan they have.

Points:
Lucid: 10 points
DILD: 5 points
Flying: 4 points
Non-lucid: 1 points
Total: 20 points

I am in a house I've never been in during real life. The room I'm in is half underground, so it has windows towards the top of the walls to let light in. I look out of one of the windows and see my neighborhood. I watch a car go down the road and then a police car following them with sirens on. I suddenly become lucid and look at the open door of the room. I use telekinesis to slam the door shut and then close all the blinds in the room.

Points:
Lucid: 10 points
DILD: 5 points
Telekinesis: 5 points (I believe this falls under controlling a dream object)
Total: 20 points

I am in a public building with many people. I realize I am dreaming and do an RC. I continue to walk around and soon lose lucidity.

Points:
Lucid: 10 points
DILD: 5 points
RC: 5 points
Total: 20 points

recall a bit fuzzy because of several DEILDS (i always get problem with continuity and mix up parts...) maybe i need to narrate the dream more while lucid. but with this DEILDS its super relaxed, no worrys to wake up or anything... you just need to remember to do it xD and have some proper goals or awareness will sink with time...

-some sexy time with a woman in a bus
- i am with A and F, A is visiting F, we are in the living room. i go to the toilet and get lucid [dreamsign i try to train... in one of maybe 10 or 15 it triggers lucidity] i phase back through a door and into the room. i remember the TOTM and ask the two if they want to sing me something? maybe something from queen? they start smiling instantly and start put their arm on the shoulder of each other and start singing (i also hear the music?), i smile and am curious if they know the songtext because me in waking life never remember any songtext. in the moment i think about it they just start mumbling and humming like people who dont know the text... we all laugh [sadly i cant remember which queen song it was...] and i wake up/FA and DEILD
-i walk with a girl, i do a Nosepinch to see if i am dreaming, RC fail but i am not in my bed so this must be a dream, we walk and talk i rub my hands and sing an affirmation [it was one with a cool melody but i also forgot :/] we walk around a corner and there is a band playing with drums and singing and all, its very cool, i go there and dance a little between people i recognize one of the singers as a friend i know. the floor is made out of fine gravel. some girls dance bare feet. i am smiling that the "dream" is doing this for me. my goal for this dream is to be nice to DC´s and have a proper talk without expectation, so i go around the corner into a room where a super cute girl is sleeping with a big smile, i try to wake her calmly but she is very drowsy so i put a pillow under her head and dont want to bother her and again wake up and DEILD
-i am on a canoe (later it changes that i am swimming) and i have a basket with me on a leash, i paddle past two girls next to the river and ask them if they wanne join eating. they smile shyly and deny. i feel very good about beeing friendly to everyone without any demand or expectation. i meet ("my"?) girl in the water i am swimming now and tell her food is ready. i climb out of the water on a platform that seems to be a cafe, i look into the basket and its empty, i look away and expect there food to be and look again. i find some cookies i try and deeper in the basket is some chines food in the typical take away boxes. the owner of the cafe comes around and i ask if its a problem that we want to eat here. he changes into a rat, perspective is changing and i see a group of rats disappear in a hole... DEILD??
-i ride a bike with a girl, i phase thru several objects while on the bike, we park our bike and i ask her if she would like to have a talk with me but she seems not to? i stay friendly and tell her its no problem


another lucid in same night:
-i try to phase not thru walls (this got second nature) but i want to phase with the ceiling, but instead of flying... i jump feet first... xD sometimes i manage to get high enough and push myself with arms thru the ceiling sometimes i "fall" down again and a floor deeper... after some time i decide its stupid and phase thru a wall but instead of seeing the next room i feel like stuck in between the wall and everything is white?
after that only semilucid stuff with low awareness i am to lazy to type