lucid

August 20 3am-10am
Old home, talking with a guy who is trying to catch a bunch of thieves. The poor guy, who had some sort of white armour on and a short dark brown hair cut ruffled off to the side as though he just woke up, had been working at trying to catch these people for a while. The story he said was that the come out to thieve at night and then a dawn they manage to rush into this forested area and just disappear. It seemed to stump him how they could just be gone that fast, it amazed me that he only had around two people guarding the forest stretch that lead up a mountain. Anyway, I manage to slip past him and head into the forest where I saw an owl flying toward; after a brief bout of walking around aimlessly, I get a feeling that they are shapeshifters that turn into owls to hide in the woods. After this unique thought I see a brief owl and return home. At home I eat with my mom and the guy trying to catch the thieves, but something happens and I run outside into the night. Run toward the forest and as I jump up to fly, I do fly but slowly and with my arms flapping as wings. He chases after me and I fly up more until I turn into an owl and fly around in circles. Then as I glide around his attempts to catch me, I finally swoop down low and head to the forest. Once safe in the trees I understood now what the thieves did. They stole and then changed into owls to fly into the forest, only active at night so it wouldn't be seen as suspicious and only going out a few at a time. After realizing this I flew down to see the guard noticing a house, which I also thought odd. But it was a small one, a hut at best. He went inside and I gently nudged the door closed before flying off to my home.

　Back at my old home? at night and getting ready for bed with a little dwarf friend. It's a single bed with light sheets but a dark blanket and at the bedside that's near the wall, sits a crib with a fake baby tucked into the white sheets. I mention somethibg about not having a baby but the fake one would do just as well, my emotions or rather expressions of emotioms are more akin to a child and my friend seems not to notice or maybe it's a welcoming relief for him to see me in such a carefree mood; because mostly in waking life, I'm just fine and really nothing more. After my friend leaves I pick up a small book and read a story about The Goblin King, in this story it is referenced that he uses fangs and I quickly shut the book as I verbally deny he's a vampire or even related to that. With that out of the way, I get settled into bed more and lay on my left side to face the crib; there is also a window above the crib that gives a view of my old home, my room, window view.
　Out side of old home, just basking in the sunlight, I then gain a bit of control over my actions and jump up to fly. I flap my arms for wings and lift off the ground slowly as usual, then I realize I'm dreaming and I decide I want to reach the sky faster so I change to a superman style. This doesn't really go that past but it was fun to try, I end up on a roof.

Created Friday 18 August 2017

Wow, almost two months since my last log. I'll be sure to pay heed to my previous reminder about posting here... Anyway, I'd a bunch of things to note today. Of these, I think I'll only post one of two LD's and skip the fragments entirely; the latter stuff is mostly inconsequential, and as for the ommitted LD... Eheheh, reckon that'll stay with me, maybe.

Dream 2 - The Orange Road

The visuals were bright but a bit strained. I was in the urbanized streets of a moderately developed country at dawn, the construction in the area dated, but not deplorable. After turning a corner, I gained awareness. In my excitement, I floated around for a bit, but immediately stopped when I saw destabilization. Took a moment to calm down and focus on the environment. I then sprinted and, after gaining enough speed, tried flying again. This time, I could only hover a few feet off the ground, and only momentarily. Next, I kicked myself off a nearby building's wall, from which I leaped all the way across the road. Noticed music was sounding in the background, the Sewer Surfing theme from TMNT - Turtles in Time, to be exact.

I then ran down an inclined sidewalk. Found myself in a more arborous place. Spectacularly, the street itself was paved from a vibrant orange stone. After hand-rubbing, I recalled the TOTMs. My immediate thought was to try the blue moon again, but debated the conditions to try that. So I resorted to the taste task. With minimal regard, I grabbed my shirt and licked it. There was, of course, no discernible taste, though from my tongue's sensation, I could at least note a polyester mesh fabric.

All well and good, but I thought I could do better. I turned my sight to a nearby chain link fence, warped and torn in certain points by overgrowth. So, I lowered head for a better look, only to get suddenly held back. Cue instant destabilization, and the dream ends.

Media Reference: TMNT - Turtles in Time - Sewer Surfin'

2017, 08-18

Game of Dreams - Oceans of Green

Daenerys: I am outside on a beautiful sunny day, and I am riding a beautiful horse. There is a vast valley stretched out for me. It is completely filled with green grass. The grass is waving, making it look like an ocean. There are some people with me. One of them is a knight. He is talking about the grassy valley. He says right now it’s all green, but there are times of the year when it is in bloom. He says this grass blooms with a bright red flowers. I am thinking about how beautiful that must be, when the knight goes and ruins it by comparing it to a field of blood. I give him a sideways glance, wondering why he had to make that comparison. He goes on to say there are other kinds of grass mixed in with the blood grass, and those grasses bloom in so many different colors it looks like a rainbow. He says there's a kind called ghost grass that is semitransparent, and it murderers all other grasses. I don't really care to hear about homicidal grass.

I kind of want to go off on my own for a while. I tell the knight that I would like to have a few moments alone. I tell him to have the others to stay behind for now. He says he will tell them. I ride my horse out in the grassy fields. The grass is much taller than I realized. It's almost up to my horse’s belly. I get the urge to go down into the grass. I see some color down there, some pretty flowers I want to see closer. So I climb off my horse and get down in the grass to look at the flowers. They are very pretty little blue flowers that smell very sweet. I hear birds singing in the surrounding grass. I wonder what other animals might live out there.

The peace is disturbed when I hear some loud argument from back on the top of the ridge. After the yelling which I can't quite tell what was said, I hear hoof beats. Apparently someone didn't feel like staying put. The rider appears and pulls up on the reins a bit too quickly and as for rears up and throws him off. I laugh as he lands on his ass. It is amusing. I see that the writer is my asshole brother. He's being an asshole again. He is pissed. He asks how I dare give him a command. I think he is taking this much too seriously. I just wanted to be alone for a bit. He comes over closer to me and starts being a pervert. He put his hand up under my vest, and pinches my breast. That is annoying. I push him away for me and tell him to cut that out. He falls back on his ass. He glares at me. He gets up looking angrier than ever. He says he thought we had that cleared up, that if I ever dared to oppose him again he would seriously hurt me. I tell him if he wants to try, go head and bring it on. He gets back up and starts to come at me.

I am about to give him a kick to his family jewels when he gets suddenly pulled back. I look and I see that he now has a whip wrapped around his neck. He is pulling at the whip with his hands, and having trouble breathing. There is one of the people that had been with me on the top of the ridge, he is on a horse and has his whip around my asshole brother's neck. He asked a question in a foreign language. The knight has caught up to us now, and he translates. The man with the whip is asking if he should kill my brother. I told him no, don't kill him. The knight translates. The man askes another question. The knight again translates. This time the man has asked if he should remove one of my brother’s ears to make him remember his error. I say no, don't hurt him. The knight translates. The man removes the whip from around my brother’s neck. My brother chokes and gags as he tries to catch his breath.

I look around and see that my brother's horse has wandered off. I figure that doesn't matter. He can walk back, I don’t feel like finding his horse. The other people on horses find that amusing. My brother acts like a child. He sits down on the ground and refuses to move. I tell the others that if he wants to sit there and sulk like a child, let him. I get back up on my horse, and all of us start heading back up to the top of the ridge where the rest of our huge group is. So far my asshole brother is not moving. I lose sight of him. I wonder out loud if he could get lost out there. The knight says that there's no way you can get lost. He says our group is leaving a path like a highway. I find the idea that our groups passing is causing that much distraction to be sad. I rejoin my husband on the top of the ridge and we start moving out. And then I wake up.

2017, 08-17

Game of Dreams – Tears Falling

I am having dinner with my family. My dad and sister are there. It is a large table and there's a lot of food on it. My teacher is here. I remember her trying to teach me needlework. It was not very effective. So I'm sitting there and looking at mine, but I'm not really feeling very hungry. My sister is sitting several seats from me and she isn’t paying any attention to me. She is with her friend. I have the feeling that her friend is an asshole. My father says there's going to be a big tournament in his honor. He says he really doesn't want to have anything to do with it. It's just a big expense that the kingdom can't afford. My sister and her friend find the idea of the tournament exciting. She asks father if she will be able to go. Father considers and then says he will get both my sister and me good seats. I think it sounds stupid. I say I don't want to go. My sister says the tournament will be an amazing event, I'm not welcome there. Father is annoyed. He says he is getting sick of my sister and me fighting. He says we are sisters, and we should start acting like it. I'm angry at my sister. But for now I don't show it.

Father announces that he has no appetite, and then gets up and leaves. I look at my food, and it does not look tasty. I decide I have no appetite either. I get up. My teacher asks me where am I going. I realize that maybe I should be polite, so I politely ask if I may be excused. She says no. She tells me to clean my plate. I tell her to clean it herself. I get up to leave. As I go passed my sister, I pause to tell her off. I tell her that we both lost our wolves, but at least she knows hers back home and safe in Winterfell. My wolf is somewhere out in the wilderness and I don't know if she is dead or alive. Talking about that makes me feel like crying. I hurry from the room before my tears fall. I don't want anyone in there to see me cry. I hear my teacher behind me yelling at me to come back. I ignore her. I go running upstairs to my room. I go through the door and slam it behind me. It’s a heavy wooden door with a very satisfying to slam. There is no lock but there is a bar that I can slide down to keep the door from being opened. So I do.

Once I am safe in my room I feel safe to cry. And I do. While I am crying, someone comes up and knocks at my door. It is a hard and angry knock. And it is a not very friendly voice is speaking out there. A woman, my teacher, tells me to come out there in mediately. She says if I don’t come out immediately my lord father will hear about this. I don't care. I tell her to go ahead and tell him whatever she wants. She goes away. I open my clothing chest, and dig through it until I find a sward buried on the bottom. I think the sword out, I remember it is named Needle, and I start practicing with it. I am shit. I am in the middle of practicing with it but I am thinking about other things. I briefly considered going out the window and running away. Maybe I can find my wolf in the wild. I am thinking about that when there is a knock at the door. This time it is a gentler knock. And it is also a gentle voice that speaks. It is my father. He does not sound angry, he just sounds sad. That makes me feel kind of bad about my behavior. Anger I can handle, but disappointment not so much. He says he wants to come in. I raise the bar blocking the door, and open it. He comes in.

My father sees the sword in my hand. I had even thought to try to hide it before he came in. Yes it's me who's short is that, and I just see at night. He asked where I got it, but I don't want to rack out my brother so I say nothing. He says it doesn't really matter. He takes it and is looking at it. I have the feeling I'll never get it back. He wants to talk about things that of been happening lately. He says he doesn't like it when my sister and I are fighting. I tell him I don't really want to fight with her, but then I trail off. We talk about different things and I am close to tears again. And then it just all comes out, I don't even know what I'm about say untill I say it. I am crying as I tell my father that I had to throw rocks at my wolf to make her leave because I knew if she came back with me, they would have killed. The queen and the king. And I couldn't stand the idea of seeing that. I told her to leave and when she wouldn't leave I threw rocks at her. There be plenty of wild game out there for her to eat, and I do even heard other wolves out there, so she might even find a pack. My father seems to agree with my theory that she'll be OK out there. He says she was born to be in the wild, and she will surely adapt to it quickly. And she will certainly be the leader of any pack she joins. I am in my father’s arms still crying but it's stopping. My father asks me about the sword again. He asked if I really want to learn. He says I've got a wild streak, like a lot of others in our family. He says he will ask around and see about someone to train me. And then he hands the sword back to me. That comes as a surprise. He hugs me before leaving the room. And then I wake up.

2017, 08-17

Game of Dreams – A Knife in the Dark

Catelyn: I am in a room that looks like a bedroom in a castle. I am sitting in a chair beside a bed. There is a boy lying unconscious in the bed, I know he is my son, Bran. I am carefully feeding him a mixture of honey and water in a desperate attempt to get some hydration and nutrients into his body in a time long before intravenous drips have been invented. But this is too little I know, and if he doesn't wake up soon he'll... but I don't let myself think the word. I stop the feeding and hold his hand, little more than a skeletal hand now but still warm to the touch, focusing on healing him. I don't know if it's doing anything. A man comes into the room and starts talking finances. I don't care about money. He is also talking about positions that need to be filled because of people who have left town. I don't care about that, either. All I care about is Bran... I tell him to leave.

A boy comes in... this is my older son, Rob. He tells the man he will discuss the finances and positions to be filled tomorrow. After handing my son a piece of paper, the other man leaves. Rob is now talking to me about other responsibilities I'm ignoring. My younger son is crying for me, he's only 3 and he needs me, especially with dad away. He pauses and then says he needs me, too. He says he can’t handle everything all on his own. I want to turn to him and be there for him, but I have the persistent thought that if I let go of Bran's hand he will die. There is a commotion outside. Rob says the library tower is on fire, he will take care of it. He rushes out and takes a guard by the door with him.

Shortly later a man enters the room. I don't recognize him, but he is holding a dagger. He starts towards Bran and then sees me. He says I wasn't supposed to be here. I say that's too bad, because I am. Just what was he intending to do with that dagger? He looks at Bran and says he would be doing the boy a mercy, really. I tell him there's no way he is killing my son! He comes at me with the dagger. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and block his blow... but then I realize my arm didn't transform! Of course not... Catelyn Stark is not infected with the Mercer Virus! The blade cuts painfully into my arm. I grab his wrist with my left hand and twist it until he lets go and then I push him away, he falls onto his back. I am about to move in when there is a blur and then there's a wolf on top of the man ripping his throat out. Rob comes back and asks what happened. I tell him that the dead man tried to murder Bran with the dagger. Rob sees my arm and says someone should take care of that. I agree to that, starting to notice the pain more with the incident being over. I leave the room with Rob and then I wake.

Woke up for WBTB. Did a mindfulness meditation:

-Sit
-Center your mind in the present moment and NOT your thoughts.
-Stare through your eyelids/Gaze at the wall opposite of you as if your eyes were open.

Afterwards, I lay down for sleep and continue to keep my awareness as much centered in the present as possible whilst still gazing through my eyelids into the distance.

Had a lucid dream where I gazed at the sky to look for the moon. The moon did appear, then another, then another, then another. Was really strange. Some people appeared and I lost lucidity because I don't remember what happened afterwards.

I start out the dream in prison. I am there undercover to investigate something. Suddenly the prison alarms go off. I look out my window covered in bars and see the Joker with a bazooka and he he blowing up the prison to rescue Harley. Once he rescues Harley he starts freeing all the other prisoners too. I realize that if they free me the Joker will eventually realize I am a good guy and try and kill me. I think to myself that I could probably take on one bad guy but a whole prison is another thing. I think about running but remember that I am dreaming and can take out all the bad guys if I waned to. As soon as I think that I wake up to my alarm going off.

Fell asleep at: 11:00 PM

Woke up at: 7:00 AM

Pre-Dream:

I read about lucid dreaming right before I went to sleep, which may have influenced the dream itself.




Dream:

The dream starts with me typing something down on Google Docs. The thought of lucid dreaming crosses my mind, and I remember the fact that using technology in my dreams are a common dream sign. I'm not entirely lucid yet, but I pull my head back and look at the wall.

There is a wire frame face on the wall (Which strangely enough looked like the Alpharad PFP), and suddenly it dawns on me.

I close the laptop and try to adjust my vision. It clears up (kinda) and I walk over to my curtains. It is still nighttime in the dream.

The night sky is a dark purple gradient with orange lights all around the 'bottom' of it. I try to change the setting by making it daytime, but I only make it go up a few hours (5:47 if you wanna know). I then try to stabilize myself using reality checks, but then I lose focus and lose lucidity. Funny thing is I was scared my finger would get stuck in the palm of my hand so I skipped that one. The nose RC worked as expected.


NOTES:

1. Long term memory tends to carry over a lot in my LDs. I remembered to do reality checks, my dream signs, and to focus. I'm not sure if short term would work the same however..

2. For the most time I was pretty well composed. I didn't try to talk to any DCs, I didn't freak out and wake myself up, so overall it was a good LD, if short.

Well, I've neglected this site a bit, mostly just posting about LD stuff to my personal blog. But I figured I'd drop by since I had a lucid dream this morning.

I've actually had three lucid dreams since my last post here (in addition to this morning's). They were very, very short (one of them was so brief it hardly bears mentioning), but they were still lucid. I do need to work on some stabilization exercises, it seems.

My intention was to do WBTB this morning, but I wound up becoming lucid without it.

I don't remember the specifics of the non-lucid portion of the dream, except that I was in this current house and my mother was there. At some point, I decided to do a RC. I don't remember what triggered it-- it may have just been that the habit is finally forming. I did a finger-stretch RC, which I've been using more often lately than the levitation one because it's quicker, easier, and can be done subtly without people seeing it and wondering what the hell you're doing. It's also a lot easier to stretch my finger than to levitate in dreams, so there's less of a chance of a false positive.

The reality check failed, meaning of course that I was able to stretch my finger easily, and for some reason I decided the thing to do was to go around the house and show people my freaky, stretching finger, to get a reaction out of them. I knew I was dreaming, but I wasn't overly aware. I went into D's room, where some EMTs were waiting to take him somewhere. I showed one of them my stretchy finger and he looked suitably astonished. I then decided I wanted to go outside and fly.

I walked through the living room towards the front door, and told Mom, "I'm going outside!" She said something in reply, probably trying to get me to stay and do something for her, but I had shifted my focus away from her because I knew she was a dream, and didn't really hear what she said. I went outside and easily flew up into the air.

As I was rising into the air, I finally remembered my sensory exercises, and started with sight, stating, "See..." as I began to focus my vision. Suddenly everything around me turned to a dense, grey, chilled fog. I could taste the moisture of it on my tongue. I couldn't see anything but the fog, and started getting annoyed, and then felt the dream slipping away. I struggled to hold onto the dream (but didn't use any stabilization techniques for it) but I woke a moment later. By then it was too late to go back to bed, so I just got up.

-1-The dream started out with everybody talking about plans to fly to northeastern Kansas, drive south to “Tukwilla,” drive south into Oklahoma, drive west along the border, north into Wichita, and go east from there and eventually and at the east coast. Meanwhile, I was looking at incredible shots of multiple tornadoes. The first shot was with 2 of them really close to each other, and the second shot was with 3 tornadoes each behind the other, all silhouettes in front of a sunset.
[New Scene]
The picture of those 3 tornadoes became three storm cells to the south of us in northeastern Kansas. It was during the night, and they may not have been tornadic, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I looked at the radar to see where the cells were going, and it looked like they would pass by the coming city way before we would arrive. Before we got to the city, a sudden hailstorm happened. A passing cell was dropping roughly quarter-size hail on the freeway.
[New Scene]
I was driving, and we(referring to family) arrived in “Tukwilla,” in southeastern Kansas. The skyline was beautiful, at least at night. It was composed of 7 buildings, at least 5 of which were standard skyscrapers, one of which was forgotten, and the 3rd from the left was pointed at the top. I wanted to take a picture, but when I did, all I got was the side of the van somehow.
[New Scene]
We arrived at a toll booth somehow. A dream thing happened where a broken, seemingly impassable, almost vertical path onward, apparently blocked by a tiny gate. Of course, it worked, because the car became a plastic tub and could be pulled through.
[New Scene]
We stayed at a house overnight. The far door opens to a junction between stairs, a living room, and another room with a PC in it. While on the PC, I googled ‘PS4 WiLD’ to see if there were any further announcements for the game.
-2(L)[WILD]-The first scene was the same that I left for the most part. I got out of bed, and threw punches at the window. This didn’t break it, so I opened it instead. Next, I stood on the patio on the west side of my house. I thought of using a rectangular force field to block any annoying family DCs from interfering with me. On the double doors I used a second set of green doors and locked them.
-3-There was a kid that ‘looped’ (this is unclear; his muscles kinda warped about and stuff) around 6pm every day. His mum said, “…it’s also the time that he’s open world.” (6pm-9pm, refers to the time that the kid is outside)
[New Scene]
Location: living room. Scene: DC[1] in a huge plastic tub with a cat sitting on his left knee; DC[2] sitting on the piano bench to my left; I am either sitting or standing in the computer room facing south; Forgotten DC sitting in the secondary rocking chair; no couch; pules of legos where the couch used to be; Dad sitting in the primary rocking chair. DC[2] had a gray wishing object, and he wished for something. Next, I decided to test the object as well. For the first test, I wished for one cat to like his sister slightly more. I didn’t see any conclusive results.
Lucid Time: 2-3 minutes

When hypnagogic appear, I'm going to try and center myself in it.

It's been too long since I've had one!

The first dream I had last night was non-lucid. I was back up at school, trying to find my new apartment. This will become a reality in a few weeks.

The second dream was where I was in a church, and was going to go on another mission for my church. Well, I've already done that, and you generally don't do that again. The sheer absurdity of the premise clued me in to the fact that I was dreaming. Unfortunately, my level of conscious awareness wasn't as high as it could have been. The people in the front of the church building were really buddy-buddy with each other, definitely not professional and all, and one guy told me all of their names. I can't remember if I did anything cool as a result of my lucidity, though. :/ Work in progress!

Fluffy cats are curling up together on the other side of a wooden fence while my boyfriend and I watch. The man who owns the land gives a signal and many animals start to run around the yard, including a gray horse and a brown horse. A young man tells me that his dog has been over there for a while now. All the lost animals like to congregate in the man's yard for some reason but my cat is not there.

My parents have driven all the way to Colorado and are in the process of buying a house here that is not far from my apartment. The house is currently a house and a restaurant and the people are still there serving breakfast. My parents are wanting me to move in there. I start to walk back to my apartment using Google Maps but I get lost anyway. I wander through a warehouse with trucks and truck parts in it and I wander through a school and I wash some dishes in the park and other strange stuff happens and I become lucid. I want to jump off a balcony but am afraid I may have awoken. It's night and the stars are sparkling and really pretty so I try to fly to them by flapping my arms. I'm really high up but not into the starts yet so I try to get there by flying up on top of a nearby building first. I can't get to the building and then next I am no longer outside, but am inside my parents' former house banging my head against the ceiling because I am still trying to get to the stars. I am afraid I will wake up my parents so I stop and start trying to walk back to my apartment.

I've lost lucidity and am lost still. I accidentally walk through portal things that transform me into cartoon animals so I change my path but end up back at the house my parents are buying in Colorado. I lost my cat somewhere along the way but I call his name and he is running back to me now.

I am at my apartment on the balcony. A man says he is chopping down a tree and needs to get on my balcony. He climbs on the balcony. Then a bunch of neighbors are on the balcony and two men are fighting while the other neighbors watch. An old woman tries to discourage them from fighting. Another is chanting "Fight, fight." My boyfriend cracks open the door and tells everyone to come to the front door if they need anything and to never climb onto the balcony again.

2017, 08-10

Game of Dreams – Innocence Saved, Innocence Lost

Eddard: I am in what looks like a living area in a castle. I am pacing, worried. My daughter is missing. A man tells me my daughter has been found. I ask where she is then. The man says she is in the throne room seeing the king and queen. This pisses me off. She’s been missing for four days and that’s the first place they take her?! I go out the door, heading for the throne room. I know where to go and I get there to find my daughter surrounded by a bunch of hostile faces, I see them as assholes. The king and the queen are there with the prince. I go over and put my arms around my little girl, asking if she is ok. She says she’s hungry and tired, but not hurt. I am pissed, I demand to know why my daughter wasn’t brought straight to me and been given a chance to rest and have something to eat before being dragged in here. The king, a fat man I know to be named Robert, says he thought it was best to get this business over with.

I am still annoyed, but I let things go on. The Queen claims Arya and her friend attacked Prince Joffrey and then her wolf bit him. Arya and Joffrey both tell different accounts of the event. I ask how serious Joffrey’s injury was. They seem hesitant to discuss the injury. A man comes into the room with Sansa, she claims she doesn’t remember what happened. Arya calls Sansa a liar and attacks her. I hold Arya back and tell her that is not productive. The Queen wants Arya punished, but Robert says sometimes children will fight. He says I should take care of disciplining Arya and he will take care of Joffrey. He gets up to leave, he has clearly had enough of this whole affair.

The Queen isn’t done yet. She says there is still the matter of the wolf. I say I have yet to see any evidence that Nymeria has done anything. The Queen holds up a shirt with a shredded and bloody sleeve. Nymeria chewed Joffrey’s shirt? She said Joffrey’s arm was in it. Joffrey says his arm was almost chewed off but there’s no injury because Sansa is a sorceress and healed it. I ask if I’m seriously expected to entertain that notion. If Sansa has healing powers then we’d better get her back to Winterfell to heal her injured brother! The Queen says she will not have a vicious beast in her castle. I tell her it wouldn’t be right to throw Joffrey out, he’s only 12. She gets red with anger and says she meant the wolf! Robert reminds her that the wolf got away. She said she wants both wolves put down. I tell her no one is going to hurt those wolves. I am thinking to keep protesting until the wolves can stay with Sansa and Arya but then I am thinking the Queen might arrange something to happen to them just out of spite… so I think better of it and say fine, I’ll have Lady, and Nymeria if we can find her, taken back to Winterfell. The Queen says she wants them dead. I tell her that’s not going to happen. I’ll send them back to Winterfell… for their protection, not hers.

I take my daughters from the room before the Queen can protest any further. Once outside Sansa is saying it isn’t fair to have to send Lady away, she didn’t do anything. I tell her I agree, but the only way to keep Lady safe from the Queen is to send her away. If Lady stays, then the Queen could fabricate another attack or just order her guards to get rid of Lady and I might not be in a position to stop her. Sansa looks sad about it but finally agrees. I tell her that Lady will be waiting for her at Winterfell when she comes to visit or if circumstances in Kings Landing changes enough that we can safely bring her back. Arya asks what about Nymeria. I tell her I’ll get some people to look for the wolf, and if we can find her, she will go north with Lady to be safe, too. I tell Sansa we should go say our farewells to Lady and get the wolf beyond the reach of the Queen as soon as we can. Lady is tied up outside and I leave Sansa to have time to say goodbye to her wolf before she is escorted back home.

Some soldiers on horses ride into the area. They have a bloody sack on one of the horses. A man, the name Sandor Clegane, The Hound, comes to mind, comes over and looks pleased with himself. He says they haven’t found Arya but they got her little pet. I think they already killed Nymeria and I am pissed. The Hound dumps the bloody sack on the ground and laughs. He opens the bag and I react quickly, turning Arya away from the horror. It’s not Nymeria, it’s a boy, no doubt Arya’s friend, practically cut in two. I want to kick The Hound’s ass. I ask if he really had to cut down a child?! He smiles and says the kid ran. I ask if he’s trying to tell me he’s so incompetent that he can’t capture an unarmed fleeing child without cutting him in two?! We’d better hope Joffrey never gets distraught and runs away! You’ll come back to the King and Queen saying, “I have good news and bad news, your Graces. The good news is we brought the Prince back. The bad news is he’s in two pieces.” Sandor says no one dares say that to him! I ask him then which is it? Is he too incompetent to capture an unarmed child without cutting him in half, or is he a sick and pathetic fuck who takes pleasure in murdering defenseless children?! I notice Arya is holding on to me and crying. I immediately feel bad about making that scene in front of her, making a painful moment even worse. I put my arms around her and tell her how sorry I am about what happened to her friend. Sansa comes back with Lady, she is also crying. I want someone to pay for making my daughters cry. Sansa wants Lady in her bed with her just one more night. I am walking with them back to our quarters when I wake.

2017, 08-08

Game of Dreams – Of Weddings and Bullies

Daenerys: I am at a wedding, a big outdoor wedding. I realize I am getting married, but that can’t be right… I don’t see Altaïr anywhere. I want to marry Altaïr. The man beside me is a large and strong looking man with black hair down his back in a braid as long as Sephiroth’s hair with small bells hung in it. He is speaking a language I don’t understand, not paying attention to me. And I’m supposed to marry this guy? My brother is sitting below me on a hill and glaring up at my periodically. There is food and drink constantly brought to me and I eat nervously. Some men fight over a woman and one of them dies, everyone accepts this as normal. Then there are lots of gifts. Some slaves (I don’t want slaves!), some cool looking books, three egg shaped stones they say are dragon eggs, and the man I married gives me a beautiful silver horse. He lifts me easily onto the horse and I ride her around a bit. I immediately love that horse. Now it is time to go? My asshole brother grabs my leg too roughly and says I had better please my new husband or I will wake the dragon like never before… I see no dragon! I kick my leg to shake my brother off and tell him he had better stop being an asshole or I’ll shove his face up a dragon’s ass! He looks surprised and asks what has gotten in to me.

I ride my horse after my new husband. We find a spot and I know he wants to have sex… but I don’t even know this guy! I don’t want to have sex with him! I expect he will just start violently having his way with me, but instead he starts caressing me, being gentler than I’d expected from the way he acted at the wedding. But I still don’t want to have sex with him! I’m crying and he pauses to brush the tears from my face and say the word no. No as in don’t cry? No as in don’t be scared? I’m not sure… And I don’t have to do any more because the dream ends.
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Sansa: I am riding a horse outside under bright blue skies. The skies look bluer than I ever remember seeing them. I am not alone, there is a boy, Prince Joffrey, riding beside me. My first impression is that he is an asshole… but I think better of calling him that. My next thought is he is a prince I am supposed to marry… but I don’t even know him, though I guess I should give him a chance. We ride through a forest, exploring here and there. Joffrey seems like a decent guy, I’m not sure why my first impression was that he’s an asshole. We keep going and soon find a couple of children playing with sticks as if they were swords. This is where Joffrey shows his true colors.

Joffrey gets off his horse and shows me why I thought he was an asshole. Joffrey starts making fun of the boy for beating on a girl. The girl is my sister, Arya. The boy drops his stick and kneels before the prince, but that does no good. Joffrey pokes at him with his sword and tells the boy to pick up his stick and fight like a knight. I tell Joffrey we should just leave these two alone. Joffrey says this boy was beating my sister, we can’t just leave. He pokes the boy’s cheek and draws blood, saying he won’t hurt the boy… much. That’s when chaos breaks loose.

Arya attacks Joffrey with her stick to keep him from hurting the boy. Joffrey turns on her and attacks viciously, breaking her stick with his real sword. The boy runs into the trees with no thought for Arya’s safety. A wolf comes flying from the trees and clamps down on Joffrey’s arm, making him drop his sword. Joffrey cries out and says to call the wolf off, which Arya does. She looks at his mangled arm and says the wolf didn’t hurt Joffrey… much. Arya picks up Joffrey’s dropped sword and throws it unceremoniously into the river nearby before chasing after the boy with her wolf going after her. I go to check on Joffrey’s arm and he gets pissed at me. I tell him it’s his own fault for being a bully. He says he’s going to tell his mother, I resist an urge to slap him. I tell him not to be such a baby, I can fix his arm. I grab his arm and focus healing energy through it. The bite heals completely, much to Joffrey’s amazement. But he doesn’t thank me, he scoots away from me and says I’m a sorceress and then runs off into the trees. What a loser… Everything fades.