lucid

Created Wednesday 05 May 2021

Got just enough time to post this dream loop from Wednesday.

Dream 1 - Department Store Sprawl Loop

Scene 1 - Ineffective Department
The visuals were slightly dim. WILD transition in bed.

I roll off the mattress, and walk out of my bedroom. Suddenly, I find myself in a mall's department store, a place illuminated by subdued yellow lights. There wasn't much organization in how things were arranged; products were sprawled out haphazardly in large wire boxes. About twenty or so people were browsing about.

Soon, I made attempts at conjuring D (a recurring DC), first with a thought, then by trying to reform surfaces in her image. But, nothing came of this. I next tried summoning my super-hero costume as part of the TOTY. I look to and from my person. Again, no results; I was still in my bedclothes.

Things got unstable. I clung on to surfaces to keep in state, but couldn't keep from slipping out of the dream.

Scene 2 - TOTY 2021 Task ii
Similar visuals. I manage a re-entry back in bed. Like before, I walk out into a department store practically similar to the one above, if with slight adjustments. To keep stability, I walk quickly, while also focusing when I make contact on any surfaces.

Once again, I try conjuring my superhero costume, without effect. So instead, I turn to my surroundings. Certainly, there's worse places to find such a thing than a department store. I reach for a nearby rack, where I happened to pull out a black garbage liner. Not what I was looking for. Still, I wrapped it around my shoulder, expecting it would change later on.

After some more sifting, I found a pair of black leather touring pants. Perfect. I donned it immediately. I briefly turned my attention to my torso, when I found that, instead of a trash bag, I was wearing a black leather jacket, deep pockets lined at the midsection. Not quite a touring jacket, but close enough. I then look down, and noticed my having black leather low top hiking boots. Again, not exactly what I wore last time, but acceptable. Next was a helmet. By happenstance, my hand was already digging through a nearby rack. I pull out what what I had, and, surprise surprise, it was a black motorcycle helmet. It had no skull print, though I ain't complaining. Despite the dark tint on its visor, wearing it didn't really affect my vision. All I was missing was a set of gloves, but I decided I'd gloss that over for the moment.

Now, with that settled, I rush off, isolating myself at a far off wall. There, I saw my reflection on a window. To my confusion, the image was of my wearing bedclothes yet again. I look at a different window, and saw my costume, only, it was superimposed on my own form. Thought it best to ignore these illusions.

As per the task, I call out to the dream to grant me powers. Soon, my own voice echoed in my mind.

"Uh... you can shrink, and... fly, I guess?", the voice stammered.

Almost there. Calming my nerves, I try using my super powers. It took only seconds to fly, though for the moment, I opted only to hover a few inches off the ground. I then concentrated to shrink down. Steadily, my surroundings became larger and larger, until I was only inches in height.

At my new size, I could slide through an indent between the floor and wall. Upon doing so, I found myself in a poorly lit bathroom, floating over a pair toilet stalls. The voices of male voices boomed in the distance, their footsteps rumbling louder as they approached. This was my cue to get out of here. I allowed myself to wake up briefly, feeling satisfied at a task well done.

Scene 3 - Where's Dimwit?
Similar visuals. Another re-entry, this time starting already in the above-mentioned department store. On a lark, I opted to look around for other DV superheroes. But as I strolled around, I noticed the store was peculiarly empty. I called out for Dimwit (the only hero that came to mind at the moment), though nothing seemed to happen. Ah, well. I casually resumed my jaunt until the dream collapsed again.

Scene 4 - Willing Bloodbag
Similar visuals. Re-entry. I was back in the department store, only now, I was in a long hallway much further than where I was in previous scenes.

I make my way down the corridor, when suddenly, I'm accosted from behind by a figure. Turning around, I find this was a slender Asiatic woman, black hair short, and dressed in a grey sleeping gown. More tellingly, her skin was inhumanly pale.

"C'mon. This way.", she commands in a curt tone, as if we were already well acquainted. I kinda understood where this was going.

Anyway, I allow the stranger to sequester the both of us into the nearest exit. Incidentally, this was a cramped bedroom, space only enough for a single-sized mattress and a small cabinet.

I return my attention to the pale woman, to be met by a desperate gaze and bared fangs. If I weren't aware, I might've actually been flustered. I brushed aside my would-be assailant, leaving her thoroughly confused. I step closer, and spoke.

"Calm down", I begin saying softly. "Take a deep breath. Now, start again, slowly."

Tilting my head back, I calmly leave myself exposed. The vampire was initially hesitant, but eventually, she heeds my words to the letter.

Slowly, subtly, I felt her fangs piercing my throat. Her teeth dug deep, yet I felt no pain. As time draws on, I sensed myself becoming abnormally cold. Still, this experience was oddly soothing...

The undead lady ends her feast about a minute later, much sooner than expected. She looks up, her eyes bright with satisfaction. As a show of gratitude, she pulls me in a tight embrace.

I lose awareness. Various unknown scenes after this. Don't recall how this ends.

I'm in the guest room downstairs with mom. I realize it is a dream and walk out. I look up at the sky and scream out "sky, take me with you!". Gravity is turned upside down for me and I accelerate towards the sky. There is a thick layer of clouds and gravity is centered by the layer. That makes it so that I first go upwards over the sky but slowly turn down to it again. When I hit the clouds on the way down I notice that the clouds have changed location and are right above the ground by my home. That makes it so that it is very foggy. I climb the gate and it is bigger than in reality. When I'm on top I fly away to town. I walk on the street and try to remember what I wanted to do in the dream. It's frustrating because I can't remember. I think about how I can ask my dream characters a joke. But since they are my unconsciousness they would know the answer if I told them a joke I knew the answer to. That's why I ask them a joke I don't know the answer to. "How did the cow and the wheat meat?", I ask a man. He seems confused and I tell him that I tell him the joke because he is a part of my mind. There are now three DC:s and they seem to accept that truth. I keep on walking and see a girl in my age. She is very prominent and start to talk with me. She is self independent and do as she likes. She is a bit shorter than me and we start to walk home to me. We talk a lot. When we come home we meet my cat Isa. The girl talks about a dog. After some time I leave home and fly away. As I fly over the gate gravity is changed again and I reach the clouds. I fall to the ground fast after I have touched the clouds. I remember that it was a long time since I opened a window to enter a new dream scene. I fly to a window that is transparent. I smash the window with my fist and succeed. I try to open the window but I'm not able to. A boy is inside and I ask him if he can take the key and open. He doesn't want to at first but as I struggle to come inside he says that he can fix it. He opens the window and I climb in. There is a big table and four old ladies enter. They ask me if I want to join them in dinner. I say okay and sit down by the table. They lay the table with tacos but they only have cucumber, tomatoes and corn which I find kind of dull. I start to eat and the flavor is mostly of cucumber. The lady next to me asks me if I can visit them again in a hostile tone. She reminds me a lot of my physics teacher now. I tell her that I can't because I'm only visiting this dream and won't be able to return. She pushes me harder and asks me if I don't want to visit them again. I stand up for myself and tell her that I don' want too. During the conversation she stood up from the chair and I had to back up as she came closer to me. I run for the window and try to fly out. She grabs me by the legs and holds me so that I hang from the window. She starts to swing me and tries to swing me back to their flat. As she is just to throw me in the dream becomes black.

Notes: I really have to train how to retain my memories from reality in the dream. A recurrent theme through my dreams are evil old ladies, I wonder why.

Was driving my car through a parking lot and park it to meet someone. Next to me on my left side was a woman in a jeep who seem like she was frustrated. I decided to not look her way and check my watch to see why the person was taking so long. Then out of no where the woman in the jeep got out of her car and hop in my passenger side. I gave her a weird look and she seemed still irritated.

I began questioning myself on why was I waiting on someone to begin with? Nothing made any sense and it was then that I became lucid. The scene change and I found myself in my previous town home living room. I practice telekinesis on my father front room door. I found it interesting how my thoughts could physically move the door on command.

I went in my father room and stare at the ceiling , there was no lights on. I then remember that if you stare in a dream too long you will wake up and it was too late. I had awaken.

1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Only remember meeting some woman and she was looking at all the people who were in the dream and when she looked me in the eyes, she locked contact with me, approached me and I felt she was real / aware and she felt the same about me. I was lucid and she told me something like "I can tell that you know we are dreaming. I can see it through the eyes." and I didn't say anything, we just shared what seemed like a never ending moment lost in each other's eyes.

A lake with a monster in it in a forest. I know that the monster just needs a kiss and it will turn into a nice girl. I jump into the water and start to swim, the monster looks like a human but the head is blue with a lizard face. I don't hesitate but just give it a small kiss. It turns into a human and we go up.

I'm home in the hall downstairs and talk with mom and my sister. I get a feeling it is a dream and I walk out. I fly away to Hemköp and see some cars on the way. A black man and a white woman are prominent as they walk the street with energy. I interact with them and talk some. I used some telekinesis om some humans and made them float over each other. I think I had a FA here but came back to the dream after some seconds. I'm sitting in one of the cars driving by before. A mom and her daughter is driving.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Had been watching one of the Purge movies, so I had a long dream inspired on it. Don't remember all of it, but at some point I was seeking refuge with some people I know, in some modern building, who have a sort of secret attic accessible through a trap door inside some storage room. But we can't make any noise while hiding in there, which isn't at all easy. Our chasers don't find us at first, but somehow come back later knowing where we are. Since they are looking for me and a couple friends specifically, we decide to leave to avoid them hurting the others. We manage to get to ground floor to escape the building, but the doors are all locked. My friends get hurt, not shot but frozen somehow. They are stiff on the floor, like ice rocks and I carry them to near the door and hug and massage them to try to revive them. I don't have to face our chasers anymore for some reason, but there is someone at the reception who is controlling the entrance of the building and I have a confrontation with her. She says we won't go anywhere, but I manage to open the doors and then she calls back our attackers to chase us down again. We run outside through narrow streets as fast as we can. We arrive at a big park and we spread out to confuse our stalkers, but we have a rendez-vous point at the top of the park. I have to cross a swimming pool and fastest way is swimming, so I jump in and when I get out on the other side, I am wearing a red bikini and there are people swimming there at night and some guys start flirting with me but I push them away, have no time to deal with it. I meet my friends at a small flight of stairs leading to an old palace on top of a hill. But instead of taking the normal path towards the palace, I see some stairs to the right going through a small tunnel and I chose those instead. It leads us to a small stone house that seems frozen in time. There is a man living there and he is not pleased to see us, but he doesn't kick us out, he just tries to ignore us and sits at his wood stove carved on a rock wall, cooking his lunch or something. We look around for a while admiring how medieval this place is and then he opens up and says this house has been passed down for generations of caretakers of the palace. He also claims we are safe in there, if we are hiding from something. There is an animal, maybe a donkey, at a corner in the middle of a pile of hay.

I had some longer half-lucid or lucid dream but forgot about it. But I was going around admiring places and buildings and deciding what to explore. At some point I see a modern building with glass walls built in the style of a pagoda and I want to see it inside. I enter the surrounding yard, which as I go around the building, leads to a panoramic terrace with a view to a gorgeous city, very much like Paris in all its splendor. I see beautiful palaces and avenues with trimmed gardens and people promenading. My mom is with me and she says she doesn't see what I see, that she is not able to observe such details, just that we are at an indistinct building and sort of a void around it. it's as if she is sharing a lucid dream with me but unable to be as aware of its intricacies. I am telling her about how to boost and keep awareness, but the dream fades and I wake up for a few seconds before going back to the dream.

Back in front of the same building, I go inside and find a basket on the floor with some small animal in it. First I think it may be a puppy, but I pick it up and it is a baby elephant, newborn, still covered in gunk. He gets scared and jumps to the ground and runs away but I catch him again with a blanket. He calms down as I clean him and he imprints on me. H starts seeing me as his mommy.
I forgot part of the dream, but he grows up a little bit and I take him to some place in the countryside. It is some kind of farm. I am away from the house, near the entrance gate, where there is a vegetable garden in raised beds. Some of the vegetables will feed the elephant and others will feed people living there. All is well and I am admiring the road leading to the property, which is sided by a rammed-earth wall on both sides. it catches my attention that part of the wall is covered in old faded beige tiles. Then I hear a loud noise and I look back to see shots fired from the end of the path hitting the wall and coming closer and closer towards me. I run forward but on the other side I also see shots coming towards me. I feel trapped. Then I see a group of women running in front of a group of Talibans in front of me and and some men running away the shots from behind me. I feel confused about where to run to. The men behind me jump over the wall to the other side but they are still under fire somehow. I just freeze against the wall, unable to decide what to do and the women and their chasers just pass by me and ignore me. Apparently I am not a priority to them, but I still don't feel safe. I think they execute the other women. I run down the path and arrive at a road going upwards to the mountains. I run up for my dear life. Soon after the men who had jumped the wall behind me cross paths with me and instead of going up the road as I do, they go in a perpendicular direction towards the mountain. But doesn't take long until they appear again running down the road. They warn me about more Talibans coming. We go down the mountain again and they take me to a village, to the house of a western agent they know, who is actually Nighthawk. We stay in his place and everyone is nervous, not knowing what is going to happen next. They fear it is only a matter of time until the terrorists find this place and that we're hiding there. Some other guy hands Nighthawk a chip and tells him to hide it where it can't be found and he says he will, but then just puts it in a pocket in his pants.

I'm in some room with a bunk bed. My dad sits in the lower one and talks about money problem and some kind of new job (New fragment). I'm holding in a knife and fighting with Gabriel in my class. He is striking me all the time and I just block. I run away and see my surroundings, I'm in a big house with roof at least 8 meters up. I run for the exit but a girl is there with a knife. I run back and notice that she is going to throw the knife at me. I laugh at her because I know it will be easy to dodge the throw from this distance. She throws the knife and it is easy to dodge it. (new fragment). There is a ghost by the shore and we walk to it. It has armor and a bone shield on its back. I try to hit it but it has no effect. Dad comes and cracks his shoulder pad open. The armor falls off and Peter comes out from it. He is friendly and we walk away (new fragment). We come to a campfire and there is a good looking girl there which triggers lucidity. I tell all the people by the campfire that this is a dream and they nod. Details are disappearing and my vision goes dark.

Notes: My cousins played a game where they pretend to have knives and hit each other.

comment lucid non-lucid

VILD during a late WBTW. Visualizing something about an old woman who would teach me visualization. I think she is my dream guide because it was my subconscious filling in her look. I want to meet her in a dream one day.
I am losing it, my minds wander through short daydreams, dreamy thoughts and minidreams.

Rose Garden
In my childhood garden, I am thinking about where to plant roses.

A shitty dream sign
I am in my grandmother's house, with my husband, in her bed. I notice he has something brown on his green fleece jacket and it is poop, stuck to his jacket in several places on his back!
I call my mum but I can't scream, so I tell him to call her. She comes and takes the jacket and tries to clean it.
I talk with her about how she got a water tap to this room (it isn't there IRL). She tells me to think. I realize there always was a water pipe on the other side of the wall. But I don't understand why the water pipe leads through a wardrobe.
I think about how my husband was able to get the poop all over his jacket. How was he able to do it? And how was he positioned in the litter tray?
I realize it is my cat usually having these problems, not my husband!
I am waking up from the dream but I feel relaxed. There will be another dream soon.

Exploring a mysterious research facility
I am lying on a floor, it's made of beige tiles, cold and sloping down from me. I realize this is my dream body lying there, feeling this, and I am lucid! I am worried about the dream not being stable yet but I try to slide down the slope, head first. But I have some clothing under me, preventing this. I return to my original position, worrying about moving my real body if I do something too radical.
Then I decide this is stable enough and movement helps to stabilize anyway, so I adjust my clothing, sit, and slide down the slope, gaining speed on my way down.
Under the slope, I stand in a corridor. There are two doors, partially open. I choose the way directly forward but can't stop thinking about the other door. What was there?
Behind the door, there is another corridor and some cabinets with drawers. It feels like some (old/socialist/east European) research facility or a similar institution (imagine tiled floor, wood veneer on furniture, and that ugly yellow waterproof paint on the walls). I open some of the drawers, they are very detailed but empty.
There are more doors and I have to choose again. I feel a presence behind one of those doors and get worried about someone finding me here. I quickly progress away from this presence and suppress the thought.
Another door and I can hear some people and smell food. Great, I think, an opportunity to taste some food in a LD.
It looks like a cafe. They have some deep-fried stuff and some big fried balls, maybe eggs. I ask if I can get something and they tell me to wait in line.
I start remembering that I was just sleeping and only have my sleeping clothes and no money with me. That sounds like a problem. I have an idea to check my pockets but no money they - only an old, used, paper tissue. I try again and try to really believe that I have money but again, nothing there.
It's my turn and I say that I want something to eat but have no money. They obviously think I am crazy. I ask them if they can give me something again but people around laugh, thinking I am some poor student.
I leave the room, feeling embarrassed. Isn't it stupid, that I have to pay in my own dream?
I try spinning around to leave the scene and change the scenery but I only crash into an automatic door and hurt my arms. Which is even more embarrassing.
Then there is a huge hall, like a railway station or something like that. There are people - many of them - hurrying somewhere, everyone going somewhere and there's too many of them and I am still disoriented after crashing into that door and I don't know what to do.
Suddenly, there is my ex, S. He says: "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" and I say "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" too and we hug and start to make out.
I tell him "this is my dream" and he says "no, this is my dream". I say "I don't believe in shared dreaming" and I think that means that one of us has to be lying. And it has to be him because I know I am dreaming. Or is it possible to be in someone else's dream? What if this is really his dream and this is the reason why I lack control?
I notice that his face has changed. His hairs are now short and his face is different. And he feels like someone else. Is this some shared dreaming trick? I ask him why is he looking different.
I wake up.

the dream start i was laying down in the streets and some heavy rain starts pouring i get up and see a guy in a black leather jacket and red pants he ask me do i play games i try to answer then he reaches in his pocket then pulls out a bag of weed i reach and try to grab it and jolting lighting pulse hit me when i touch the weed bag i try to stay lucid but i was losing awareness and i fell out the dream right when the pulse of lighting hit it was awesome who remember getting that jolt!!

I'm walking in city and the word freedom comes into my head. That triggers lucidity and I fly to the waters. I see some humans and want to do some tricks with them. There is an indian and I grab his hand. I fly up with him fast and throw him up into the air and spin him 360 and catch him again. It's pretty heavy and I fall down a bit when I receive him. He starts to talk to me but I feel his bad intentions and I fly away from him. I fly over the waters and come to an exotic jungle with very big leaves and vegetation that I have not seen before. I am amazed by the beauty and just inspect the blue flowers for some time. I fly down to the water and think about how it is hard to fly in the water. I tell myself that it is only a dream and that I can do it. I fly down in to the water and keep a 45 degree angle with my face pointing to the surface. The air is really fresh. My feet go in mud by accident and there are some really big fish there. The water starts to become really thick and I can't move any more. I am being washed to shore and I try to break through with force but it's impossible. I see the shore now but the water is like sandpaper and my skin is hurting. I am finally up and I fly away again. I fly over the waters but suddenly I fall really fast close to the water and I am able to get up again. I see an island with some crocodiles on it. I inspect them but suddenly my flying stops working again and I fall to the crocodiles. They start to eat me and I struggle for some time with them. I am able to escape them.

Notes: I went to bed early and woke up early. I saw some nature documentary this week and saw some crocodiles eat animals and carnivore plants.

Started with me running near a couple of grocery stores, I began to feel more aware and told myself before running to the store that I am probably going to regret this.
I can sense a bad feeling coming from the store.

I ran inside and started zipping by so many people. I began to fly like superman inside the store as cashiers and customers look at me like I was nuts. I was lucid now and enjoy flying throughout the building in till I got stop by two guys who identify as cops.

I allow them to search me and they told me they found a gun on me. Confuse and panic I told them it's not mine and that this must be some kind of mistake. They didn't care and grab me by arms and said " you're coming to the station, we have a murder investigation around this area "

I thought about how many times I didn't want to be wrongfully accused and go to prison for the rest of my life so I tried to run and I was slow for some reason and they caught me and started beating me in till I lost awareness.

comment non-lucid lucid something else

11 am - accepting a package from a courier, using the bathroom
after 11 - MILD mantra, MILD visualization, continuing with VILD but my brain doesn't cooperate and I can't get it going. 2 fast cycles of SSILD but I can't focus anymore.
My brain continues to VILD on its own and doesn't want to go to sleep - there some part-visualization/part-dreams.

Formula1 racer
I am talking to someone who is a Formula1 racer.
I can't tell if this was a visualization/daydream or a dream. I think I was still active in it but the subconscious was doing a large part.

Very friendly girl
Suddenly a scene appeared. I was sitting behind a table and a girl with brown hair came and sat against me. I was holding a book and she asked if I didn't mind that the authors aren't lucid enough. I answered that I could understand for some of them but not the creative ones (or something like that, it didn't make much sense/was based on false knowledge). Then she got closer to me and started kissing me. I was screaming "this is a dream, this is a dream" in my head but nothing happened and it ended as suddenly as it started.
It felt more like a dreamlet than a dream. That dream feeling just wasn't there. But it was too sophisticated and too long to be a dreamlet. I don't know. Certainly not a fully formed normal dream.

I can't fall asleep.
Checking the time, it's 12 am.
Desperate, I ask my subconscious to just let me sleep.
I think there was some NREM sleep after this. Nothing conscious.

We miss you, Grandma
There is a scene forming around me. I see it forming and my first thought is "I am not visualizing this" and the second "this has to be a dream".
I sit on a bed in a room with the bed, a table and kitchen cabinets. It is supposed to be my first adulthood flat but it looks more like my childhood home. Everything is extremely blurry and quite dark but I can feel it is stable. I touch the bed and feel the texture and the vision gets slightly better, there are two very blurry circular spots in my vision.
There is my dead great-grandmother next to me so I think at least use this low-quality dream to hug her. I hug her and tell her "I love you very much and we miss you, grandma". She strokes my hair and says "My IndigoRose". I ask her if she liked how my grandmother (her daughter) refurbished the flat. She said she liked it but was worried about her. And we talk about my grandmother getting old.
Then I go to the kitchen sink (which is also a toilet?) and help with washing some vegetables there.
It gets blurry again and I touch a chair and feel the grain of the wood. It helps but my vision is weird - with vertical strips of blurriness and with gaps. Slowly, it gets better but I am confused, forgetting where I am. I say "this is still a dream", actually realizing that and clearing my confusion. There is my brother on the bed and because he has heard me, I repeat "this is a dream" but he stares at me blankly and says nothing. I show him a finger in the palm RC but it doesn't work, my finger doesn't go through. I laugh but I still know it is a dream. I do nose plug RC and I can breathe easily. I tell him: "You see, I can breathe" but he is not impressed.
There is a woman sitting on a chair next to the door, she is supposed to be a family member but I don't know which one. She has a big black spot on her face and I wonder if dreams do that.
I don't know what to do, I am thinking about jumping from the window and flying and I expect to fall and wake up and decide that this dream isn't good for trying it. I am also thinking "what if this is real?".
Then I hear my nose wheezing IRL and I expect to lose the dream but it is still stable. I try to clear my nose which I can do and the dream is still holding. But my real nose is still wheezing. I am annoyed by this dream and decide to wake up.
Which I wanted to do anyway in one of my dreams to prove my lucidity to myself. So at least this is one goal done.

comment non-lucid lucid

After waking up, falling asleep doing SSILD cycles.

I am still doing SSILD. I can see a little bit through my eyelids, just a little bit of light, blue sky with clouds and some grass. I am in my childhood town, close to my childhood home. I am afraid I am waking up too much, ruining the SSILD! I have the idea to use movement to transition to the dream. I imagine walking and then running to a nearby forest. As I gain speed, the forest around me materializes.
I stop and shout "I did it!" and the whole scene gets wobbly and slightly blurry. I quickly touch the ground, there are stones, dirt and leaves. I am surprised how realistic it is, thinking that people were right about this.
I remember my husband - I have to tell him when I am back IRL.
I am thinking about what to do and think of flying but I remember I wanted to try to do RCs in a dream, to see how they feel in a dream.
For some reason, I completely forget the RCs and continue through the forest until I am on the other side of it. There are some kids. I try to fly but it doesn't work so I change it into a sort of jump but it still looks embarrassing.
Then I am on a crossroad and the path I wanted to take is closed, probably because of covid and I suddenly have a bike. There are some locals and they look friendly. I 'remember' there should be a path under a house, leading where I want to go. I go there and there are more kids but these are not friendly and they tell their boss about me. I ignore them and continue but then the boss appears and I tell him that I wanted my bike (which was left behind).
I remember my lucid dreaming skills and try to impress the gang kids, I try to levitate a twig above my hand. On the first try, it doesn't work, on my second try, it levitates 5cm above my hand and it looks like I cheated, throwing it up a bit. The kids are not impressed.
I talk to the boss, asking him what he wants for the bike and for letting me go. I mention gingerbread from a secret source of it, deep in the forest (in my native language, gingerbread is slang for meth but we are talking about the baked type ). It's a secret location only I know and I supplied gingerbread to him from there before. It is a really good gingerbread, he can bake his own, but this one is much better.
He is unsure about it. Gingerbread on its own isn't enough, he wants me to show him the location. I agree to go there with him at night, so nobody else sees us. At the same time, I am scared because I realize that what I said was based on a false dream memory and I actually don't know where the secret location is.
Then he tells me something about lemon gingerbread from his grandmother that was almost as good as the gingerbread from Lidl.

I had my doubts about this dream. The lucidity was very low, at its minimum in the middle of the dream, maybe even not there for some moments. I was also worried that it could be simulated lucidity but I analyzed my thoughts in the dream (like remembering my husband or realizing about the false memory) and I believe this was true LD.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

In a post-apocalyptic zombie world. Clearly inspired by some episodes of "the Walking Dead: world beyond". I am traveling in a van with some friends I made along the way. Nobody knows exactly where we are going but we expect to stay together, until one of the girls says she wants to go to some university nearby and that she studied for the admission exams and wants us to take her there. We go. The procedure is a bit strange as each candidate goes to a booth with one person that interviews them and hands them the test and they do it all in front of the family and friends who sit in front at some row of chairs. Looks more like a trial. She is asked questions about her background. She is asked about her parents and she says they died because of the zombies. The examiner replies that's the case for the majority of the applicants, so being orphaned doesn't give her any real advantage. But then she tells about our group experience during our travel, hoping they'll be impressed with the courage she showed and the skills she developed. Instead, the examiner looks at us and makes some not so unveiled comment about us not being appropriate material to even enter the premises of such school and wonders if she is fit for the school. But eventually gives her the chance to take the test and she scores really high, so she is accepted. The whole group is heartbroken because now we need to leave her behind and we don't know if we'll ever see her again. We depart without her.

I am in the outskirts of London, waiting for a tube that is never coming. I finally take a bus and I am looking at some notes to figure out where I am and where I am going, but can't really figure out. I check how much money I have and gather it and stuff it in some hidden inner pocket of my bag for safety. I am going through some shitty neighborhoods and people on board of the bus also don't look so friendly. Some weird crazy guy starts harassing people and a kid on his mom's lap his scared and says so to his mom, but his mom says to suck it up, because taxis are awfully expensive. She mentions a £96 cost to get home, which I find absurd, but makes me wonder if I could afford taking a taxi considering those prices. I find my phone on my bag and think I can use the gps and maps to find my way. Then I see an area that looks more touristic and I decide to hop off the bus and just make a plan from there. I go down some narrow street that has gorgeous view over a neighborhood by the Thames bank. Ground level brick houses with lots of flowers on the windows and doors. I want to take pics but I can't. The things I want to photograph keep disappearing from the screen of my phone and the camera always points somewhere else. I break the phone in half and start panicking as pieces start to fall off and the image on the screen fades away. Now I am lost and with no gps any more. I freak out as I see the evening coming to an end and getting dark. But then realize I am just dreaming and I don't have to be afraid. I tell myself to just have fun with it. So I keep walking to a very posh area of the city, with high fashion shops, fancy hotels and I decide to indulge. I go to a very high end mall and start looking for a dress worthy of a princess, but immediately everybody looks at me and says I don't belong there. I am wearing jeans and some shitty sweater. I don't care. I see an event where some lady full of plastic surgeries, is on some type of arena with spotlights and announcing they'll have a fashion show of the most beautiful and elegant ladies and outfits and I barge in and start walking around like a model in that arena. People are shocked and she is furious. She tries to push me away but I push her instead and she falls on the ground. I say I am sorry, that I did not intent to harm her and she insults me in every possible way, so I keep mocking them all by continuing to catwalk in silly ways. Then I decide to keep going. I don't get the dress I was looking for at first, as I am afraid will lose lucidity while distracted dressing and undressing. Also, I can simply summon some outfit. But I am no longer interest in that. Instead I go outside and see some kind of Carnival fair and I want to enjoy that instead. But it is so very dark, the sky is covered in black dense clouds that threaten to rain and besides, the darkness is making me lose lucidity. So I decide to make the sky blue and sunny. It doesn't happen right away, so I point my hands to the clouds and start pushing them away. It is getting a little bit clearer but is taking too long. So I project a vortex that sucks it all up and it works so much faster. The sky is clear in seconds and I feel proud of it. But then the vortex shatters like a mirror and all the sharp pieces come tumbling down over the fair. People scream in panic and all I can figure out is getting inside a mini car for 1 person, that I see parked in front of me. I take cover inside and hear the rumble of all the debris hitting the car. Then I get out. A couple of girls is rummaging through the debris and I check out what or whom they are looking for. Even they don't seem to know or don't want to say, but I find a bag with some dolls and clothes and ask if that's what they are looking for. Some clothes are damaged but the dolls look ok, just covered in dust. But their reaction is strange, they no longer want the dolls. I give up. Meanwhile not much to see here anymore, so I keep walking and enter some palace like building and rub my hands to keep lucidity going. It is all decorated like for Xmas and some gentleman gather in a circle chatting, with drinks on their hands. They also look at me like "who's this?" and some butler comes to me, very gently asking me to leave, as this is a private club. I declare I couldn't care less and that I am up to no good. I spot an hallway where they set up a table with all kinds of goodies and I go there. The butler is in panic and calls me "Please, please, you must leave. Don't touch that food." And I stop in front of it, defiantly, and stretch my arm to grab something and just watch his panic growing and also his inability do deal with me. I eat some hors d'oeuvres and I find it repulsive. It's some kind of pickled vegetables, but nasty. I say "How can people like this shit?" And then the butler goes from panicky to insulted. "This is a very expensive selection of fine Japanese pickled daikon and vegetable sushi." Then he tells me the names of each piece and that they must be eaten in a certain way and order. Then he goes on exemplifying. Eats a slice, by first removing a detachable part in the center and then the rest of it. He makes a face of delight and sounds of pleasure, like he is having an orgasm and I laugh. Then he challenges me to try it exactly as he says. But unfortunately I wake up.