lucid

Sunday is my WILD night. 10:35 five minutes WBTB, then WILD attempt but I wasn’t in the right mindset, I had problems with both concentrating and falling asleep. After some time, I went to sleep normally (setting the intent for watching for the dream and my favourite “if I see something = dream”) but had problems falling asleep.

Non-lucid
I am running from someone, I think it’s my brother, but I don’t remember why. I try to be smart - choose a different direction than he expects and changing direction often. I am running through some town, keeping my pace.
Then I get to some kind of club, I am in a room and there are people. They are hanging six persons, they all already have the rope around their neck and they are told the sentence. I think they are traitors. But in the last second, the execution is stopped and they let them go, it is like a learning experience for them.
I really like the club. They meet every week and I think I want to visit again next week to become a member.
They leave and I am alone in the room. There is a huge duvet, filling a large part of the room. My brother appears and I try to hide in the corner, behind the duvet. He can see only the top of my head but he notices. I try to tell him something and I tell him about that club.
Then there is a woman on a mattress. I don’t know why but I think she’s evil.

Getting lucid
I suddenly notice that I am doing something, seeing something and not trying to fall asleep anymore. Obviously, I am already sleeping and dreaming. And I can see that this isn’t some shaky half-dream, this is perfectly stable. Time to have fun.
I want to leave the club room but the evil woman is still there, holding my hand and preventing me from leaving. With my other hand, I reach behind me, like trying to reach for something that could be used as a weapon. I can’t see anything in my hand but I try anyway and stab her. It works, she looks hit and in pain, holding her stomach. To be sure, I stab her again (and it works again, although slightly less this time) and I leave the room, entering a corridor.
I go down the corridor, I walk very quickly, much more quickly than humanly possible. I don’t worry about the stability of the dream at all but when things get slightly blurry from my speed, I slow down and touch the wall. I notice that I wear gloves and can’t feel much but it doesn’t matter.

Doing magic
The corridor gets wider and I want to do my goal - magic. I want to do two spells, inspired by the books I am reading at the moment.
For the first spell, I use the word “Lux” and a simple gesture with my hand, it should result in a werelight hovering above my palm. I try it for the first time but I still have the gloves, so I take them off. I try for the second time, nothing, for the third and fourth time, nothing. I remember that the hero in my book had to practice this for a long time, I probably just need more practice too.
For the second spell, I try “Impello” which is basically telekinesis. I use it on a small ball and it levitates approx. one meter above the ground. I realize I have to use my willpower to keep it floating and to guide it, it isn’t just the word and the gesture.

More magic and Jedi mind control
I have a memory gap here. I took everything too quickly, locations shifted quickly and I don’t remember all details.
I remember trying the impello spell again. This time, I shouted the word and focused on the gesture with my hand. I moved a ball (or something else, bigger?) up, then to a side, and then I lost control or overdid it a bit and it flew with a great speed maybe twenty or thirty metres from me, falling on the heads of some DCs. I found it funny. I guess I need more practice with this too.
I also remember trying some Jedi mind control and the moving the hand thing on some DC but I don’t remember why. He said “these tricks” but did what I wanted.

Flying
I am on the stairs of my school and I think I could fly, maybe jumping from the top landing. But I am not sure.
Then I am in a large hall, it is a mall or a marketplace with a roof. I want to jump from somewhere but all higher spots and the upper floor with a gallery are not accessible. So I try the superman style, with my hand up.
It works and I can touch the ceiling but then I look down and it’s like in those cartoons, I am looking down for a second or two and then I start falling. I fall on my legs and partially on my hands too, cushioning the fall, the impact is a little bit hard but ok.
I try again but this time it’s different, it’s like I am teleported to the ceiling and I levitate there like no gravity exists and I can examine a chipboard tile in the ceiling. I can remove it but decide to stop damaging the building and get back down on the floor - I am there instantly.
I am not sure how much time I have left but I suppress the thought. Surely, I have plenty of time. No reason to think otherwise.

Passing through a wall… or a gate
The next goal on my list is passing through a wall. I don’t like the walls around but there are big doors, more like a gate and it is closed. Good enough.
I try to pass through the gate and I can feel its solidity. I tell myself “there is no wall… or gate” and continue the movement. I don’t pass through but the gate opens like it was never closed and I am on the other side.

Eating
There is another hall, this time with many small shops and stalls. I am running out of ideas on what to do… I know, I want to eat some food.
I go around the stalls but it’s all just clothing. Then there is a table with packages of tights or some underwear and among them jars of pickled gherkins. I casually open one of the jars (a woman DC with a kid, standing nearby, throws an offended look at me but I don’t care) and take the longest gherkin.
I continue to walk and bite a piece of the gherkin. It tastes as it should but it’s also weird, like eating a gherkin first thing in the morning, just after brushing your teeth. Very sour and somewhat off, I don’t like it. I want to find something better.
There is a small shop with vegetables. I walk in, seeing some carrots (small, raw, and dirty) and potatoes. It is very small there, there’s a fat middle aged woman shopkeeper, a counter and space for maybe two people. I can see they have some salads behind the counter and I decide to get some.
I remember the discussion I recently read online about “can I get” vs “may I have” and choose the proper version “May I have a small salad” (in English, which isn’t my native language but I use it in dreams often because I live in an English-speaking country).
The shopkeeper nods and asks me something which I have problems understanding. She wants to know if I want something else. I say “No, just the salad.” She asks if I want ketchup with it. I say “maybe some dressing” but this time, she doesn’t understand me, so I say “just the salad”.
While she is putting grated carrot and something else into a small plastic cup, I notice there are some cakes too. I would prefer them over the salad but too late. A big fat man appears behind me and I don’t like it because he blocks my exit and my plan to take the salad and leave without paying could fail.
The shopkeeper puts the cup on the counter and asks for money. I know I don’t have any but try to find some in my pocket anyway. Nothing. I want to leave but the shopkeeper and the fat man are angry.
The vegetable in the cup changes into water with red sugar and starts to boil. I know I am doing this but it wasn’t my intention to do it. It’s like my magic has got out of control because I am in an uncomfortable situation. I squeeze around the fat man and I tell them that they should be grateful to me for showing them such an interesting magic trick. They are confused.
I walk out and wake up.
My heart is racing.

comment non-lucid lucid

The last dream of the night.

I am in beautiful mountains with some other people (at least initially). We are on a freshly mown meadow, it’s sloping and we are going uphill, there is a forest. It is morning and it is still slightly dark and it is also very cold, I can feel the cold. We consider making a fire but we want to find a more sheltered place, closer to the forest.
I go uphill, I think I am on my own now and there is a road and a crossroad, on the edge of the forest. I can see light through the gap in the forest created by one of the roads. There is a city. But it gets very foggy (as in real foggy weather) and I can’t see much, the trees around disappear in the fog. Then I see a car and I am worried how they can safely drive in this fog. The fog clears a bit and I can see a modern city with skyscrapers and there are houses where the forest was before.
That annoys me a lot. I was in a beautiful forest, I want my forest back.
I am not having this. I feel like fuck this, let’s go lucid and I say “nope, this is a dream”.
I hear whoosh and it’s like going under water. Everything gets dark and shaking. I want to stabilize but how? I can’t see anything. Suddenly I find myself squatting or sitting instead of standing and I can feel something solid in my hands, which is good, but I am confused. Is this my real body in this position? If it is, I mustn’t move. But I move my legs anyway and I can see them and they are trembling.
It starts feeling almost like vibrations and I start to feel my real body, noticing it is relaxed and in a normal position. I try to calm myself and DEILD but I am not successful, I am too awake.

comment non-lucid lucid

12th April was the international lucid dreaming day. There was an idea to celebrate this by lucid dreaming about being at a party with other DV members. I normally don’t do tasks and challenges (too early for me) but I decided to try this time.
1st attempt - night from 11th to 12th April - VILD - failed. This is the day after (2nd attempt).

Awakening 11:02, I decide to simply set the intention for “I see something = dream”

3 irrelevant non-lucid dreams (shortened)
Investing lecture - I am attending a lecture or a conference talk about investing.
School and singing - I am in school and a classmate is singing beautifully.
Hanging G - A friend (G) hangs himself but is still alive. I am not sure if I should help him or not.

On the way to the party
I am standing on a footpath or a local lane. I realize I see something and that means I am dreaming. I remember my plan to find a door, go to Prague and go to a pub there to attend the DV party (I decided to put it in Prague - I haven’t been there for a long time and it would be a good place for a party).
But there are no significant buildings around! There is one old cottage without doors and a rusty metal shed or a garage. I am thinking what to do if the door is locked and I decide it shouldn’t matter for teleporting. As I approach the shed, I see the door is very rusty and very small and I decide not to use it and find something better.
I follow the path, it gets grassy but there are no houses now. I can see a forest in the distance.
I walk very quickly, the scenery around me changes unrealistically quickly but I feel like walking normally. No houses and no DCs. It gets slightly blurry and I check my pockets and find some paper tissues there but I realize it is my black jacket and I am actually wearing it IRL, which means it isn’t a part of the dream and I can’t use it to stabilize. I touch the ground instead, I can feel the gravel of the path and it helps immediately. The dream is very vivid now.
I continue and there is a tree. I remember reading about someone who created a wolf in a LD, thinking “there is a wolf behind the tree”. I try to think it but as I come closer, I realize that the tree is too small to hide a wolf. There is a small boy and a weasel and the weasel is defensively aggressive, hissing at the boy.
The path becomes a gravel road and I suddenly notice I walk barefoot and can feel every step. It is almost painful.
Then it is a footpath again, grassy and comfortable to walk on. Bog grass (common rush) grows next to the path and I touch it with my hands, it feels very realistic and I take a stem with the brown flower with me, to use it for stabilizing later, if needed.
Then the path follows an edge of a hill with steeps cliffs. I can see glimpses of a city down in the valley. I go closer to the edge and the view opens in front of me. The city is very beautiful with some small houses, medium houses and tall skyscrapers reflecting light. It feels a little bit like Prague but it isn’t Prague, it’s too modern for that.
There is a concrete slab right at the edge above the cliffs, it’s almost like a springboard or a platform for jumping down. The view is even better from there.
I decide to stop trying to find doors and fly instead. There are some trees but the slab looks perfect for jumping from it and flying towards the city.
I want to run get speed for the jump, so I walk a couple of meters from the edge and I make sure it is a dream. I start to run but I remember that I still have the jacket (unzipped) and that would be bad for flying, so I stop and zip it up. I put something in my pocket, in case I need to stabilize the dream while flying.
Suddenly, there is R, telling me something. I don’t listen and try to run again but I am too far from the edge and don’t see the platform well, so I go closer. R looks very confused, so I tell him that this is a dream and I am going to jump. He seems to understand.
I take a deep breath to run.

And I suddenly wake up without warning, no fading, no blurriness, no feeling of resurfacing. I think I snored IRL or tried to clear my nose and it jolted me awake. DEILD failed.
Time 12:04

“This is a dream”
I am on a street with R and some friend. I realize that I see something and that it is a dream. There are many houses and many doors around! And I am lucid for the second time this night, yay! I feel very confident, time to go to Prague.
I tell my companions to go ahead, I will catch up with them later. They stay, look at me and don’t understand. I say to myself fuck this shit and confidently tell them “this is a dream” (as you don’t exist, stop bothering me) hoping to get rid of them.
The dream suddenly fades to black. I touch the ground and can feel some stones but everything is still black and fading. I am confused because this always works. It feels like the dream is laughing at me.
I wake up but I don’t open my eyes. I lost my lucidity here but I think it was a false awakening, not a real one. I don’t know how long it was to the next dream, I think there was a period of NREM sleep.

Mouse FA (not sure if this dream was before the LD or after, probably after)
I am in a bed in some flat, there is a narrow kitchen and balcony. There is some kind of mouse that gets under my blanket and cuddles with me as my cat does. It’s my pet and I am surprised it was free to round around the flat when I was sleeping, it could have hurt itself in the kitchen or fallen from the balcony.

Cathedral FA
I wake up in a bed in some hotel room. I remember the LD and trying to DEILD. I think I even tried to DEILD in this dream to get back to the LD.
There are friends and one of them, T, tells me that they are going to have coffee if I want to go with them. I talk with R and I need to brush my teeth, so I tell T that I need 5 minutes and he says that 5 minutes is ok.
We have the coffee one floor down from our room. It is much nicer room.
We go back to our room and it looks different now, the bed is bigger. I think I like it more than the room under us. T says it is the high ceiling, making it more airy.
Then I enter a corridor, leading from our room. I see some stained glass windows and as I continue, I can see I am in a beautiful cathedral. There are stairs leading down to the floor of the cathedral (I am standing at the top of the stairs), the stained glass windows are a mix of very modern and traditional images and it’s huge with huge cupola above my head. There is a small chapel in the middle with a column raising from its roof, supporting the roof/dome. The column is thick, possibly having stairs inside.
I realize our hotel is a part of some historic building. Someone calls me from our room, telling me that I am in the paid section. I say that I am just looking. We have to find time, buy tickets and visit the cathedral later.
Someone says that the map is lost and if I know something about it. I say that I don’t because in my lucid dreams, all things are created by the dream, so I wouldn’t need to take the map with me to my recent LD.
Then I go back to our room, having some trouble to climb the stairs, someone offers me a hand.

I woke up soon after this dream.

Created Wednesday 05 May 2021

Got just enough time to post this dream loop from Wednesday.

Dream 1 - Department Store Sprawl Loop

Scene 1 - Ineffective Department
The visuals were slightly dim. WILD transition in bed.

I roll off the mattress, and walk out of my bedroom. Suddenly, I find myself in a mall's department store, a place illuminated by subdued yellow lights. There wasn't much organization in how things were arranged; products were sprawled out haphazardly in large wire boxes. About twenty or so people were browsing about.

Soon, I made attempts at conjuring D (a recurring DC), first with a thought, then by trying to reform surfaces in her image. But, nothing came of this. I next tried summoning my super-hero costume as part of the TOTY. I look to and from my person. Again, no results; I was still in my bedclothes.

Things got unstable. I clung on to surfaces to keep in state, but couldn't keep from slipping out of the dream.

Scene 2 - TOTY 2021 Task ii
Similar visuals. I manage a re-entry back in bed. Like before, I walk out into a department store practically similar to the one above, if with slight adjustments. To keep stability, I walk quickly, while also focusing when I make contact on any surfaces.

Once again, I try conjuring my superhero costume, without effect. So instead, I turn to my surroundings. Certainly, there's worse places to find such a thing than a department store. I reach for a nearby rack, where I happened to pull out a black garbage liner. Not what I was looking for. Still, I wrapped it around my shoulder, expecting it would change later on.

After some more sifting, I found a pair of black leather touring pants. Perfect. I donned it immediately. I briefly turned my attention to my torso, when I found that, instead of a trash bag, I was wearing a black leather jacket, deep pockets lined at the midsection. Not quite a touring jacket, but close enough. I then look down, and noticed my having black leather low top hiking boots. Again, not exactly what I wore last time, but acceptable. Next was a helmet. By happenstance, my hand was already digging through a nearby rack. I pull out what what I had, and, surprise surprise, it was a black motorcycle helmet. It had no skull print, though I ain't complaining. Despite the dark tint on its visor, wearing it didn't really affect my vision. All I was missing was a set of gloves, but I decided I'd gloss that over for the moment.

Now, with that settled, I rush off, isolating myself at a far off wall. There, I saw my reflection on a window. To my confusion, the image was of my wearing bedclothes yet again. I look at a different window, and saw my costume, only, it was superimposed on my own form. Thought it best to ignore these illusions.

As per the task, I call out to the dream to grant me powers. Soon, my own voice echoed in my mind.

"Uh... you can shrink, and... fly, I guess?", the voice stammered.

Almost there. Calming my nerves, I try using my super powers. It took only seconds to fly, though for the moment, I opted only to hover a few inches off the ground. I then concentrated to shrink down. Steadily, my surroundings became larger and larger, until I was only inches in height.

At my new size, I could slide through an indent between the floor and wall. Upon doing so, I found myself in a poorly lit bathroom, floating over a pair toilet stalls. The voices of male voices boomed in the distance, their footsteps rumbling louder as they approached. This was my cue to get out of here. I allowed myself to wake up briefly, feeling satisfied at a task well done.

Scene 3 - Where's Dimwit?
Similar visuals. Another re-entry, this time starting already in the above-mentioned department store. On a lark, I opted to look around for other DV superheroes. But as I strolled around, I noticed the store was peculiarly empty. I called out for Dimwit (the only hero that came to mind at the moment), though nothing seemed to happen. Ah, well. I casually resumed my jaunt until the dream collapsed again.

Scene 4 - Willing Bloodbag
Similar visuals. Re-entry. I was back in the department store, only now, I was in a long hallway much further than where I was in previous scenes.

I make my way down the corridor, when suddenly, I'm accosted from behind by a figure. Turning around, I find this was a slender Asiatic woman, black hair short, and dressed in a grey sleeping gown. More tellingly, her skin was inhumanly pale.

"C'mon. This way.", she commands in a curt tone, as if we were already well acquainted. I kinda understood where this was going.

Anyway, I allow the stranger to sequester the both of us into the nearest exit. Incidentally, this was a cramped bedroom, space only enough for a single-sized mattress and a small cabinet.

I return my attention to the pale woman, to be met by a desperate gaze and bared fangs. If I weren't aware, I might've actually been flustered. I brushed aside my would-be assailant, leaving her thoroughly confused. I step closer, and spoke.

"Calm down", I begin saying softly. "Take a deep breath. Now, start again, slowly."

Tilting my head back, I calmly leave myself exposed. The vampire was initially hesitant, but eventually, she heeds my words to the letter.

Slowly, subtly, I felt her fangs piercing my throat. Her teeth dug deep, yet I felt no pain. As time draws on, I sensed myself becoming abnormally cold. Still, this experience was oddly soothing...

The undead lady ends her feast about a minute later, much sooner than expected. She looks up, her eyes bright with satisfaction. As a show of gratitude, she pulls me in a tight embrace.

I lose awareness. Various unknown scenes after this. Don't recall how this ends.

I'm in the guest room downstairs with mom. I realize it is a dream and walk out. I look up at the sky and scream out "sky, take me with you!". Gravity is turned upside down for me and I accelerate towards the sky. There is a thick layer of clouds and gravity is centered by the layer. That makes it so that I first go upwards over the sky but slowly turn down to it again. When I hit the clouds on the way down I notice that the clouds have changed location and are right above the ground by my home. That makes it so that it is very foggy. I climb the gate and it is bigger than in reality. When I'm on top I fly away to town. I walk on the street and try to remember what I wanted to do in the dream. It's frustrating because I can't remember. I think about how I can ask my dream characters a joke. But since they are my unconsciousness they would know the answer if I told them a joke I knew the answer to. That's why I ask them a joke I don't know the answer to. "How did the cow and the wheat meat?", I ask a man. He seems confused and I tell him that I tell him the joke because he is a part of my mind. There are now three DC:s and they seem to accept that truth. I keep on walking and see a girl in my age. She is very prominent and start to talk with me. She is self independent and do as she likes. She is a bit shorter than me and we start to walk home to me. We talk a lot. When we come home we meet my cat Isa. The girl talks about a dog. After some time I leave home and fly away. As I fly over the gate gravity is changed again and I reach the clouds. I fall to the ground fast after I have touched the clouds. I remember that it was a long time since I opened a window to enter a new dream scene. I fly to a window that is transparent. I smash the window with my fist and succeed. I try to open the window but I'm not able to. A boy is inside and I ask him if he can take the key and open. He doesn't want to at first but as I struggle to come inside he says that he can fix it. He opens the window and I climb in. There is a big table and four old ladies enter. They ask me if I want to join them in dinner. I say okay and sit down by the table. They lay the table with tacos but they only have cucumber, tomatoes and corn which I find kind of dull. I start to eat and the flavor is mostly of cucumber. The lady next to me asks me if I can visit them again in a hostile tone. She reminds me a lot of my physics teacher now. I tell her that I can't because I'm only visiting this dream and won't be able to return. She pushes me harder and asks me if I don't want to visit them again. I stand up for myself and tell her that I don' want too. During the conversation she stood up from the chair and I had to back up as she came closer to me. I run for the window and try to fly out. She grabs me by the legs and holds me so that I hang from the window. She starts to swing me and tries to swing me back to their flat. As she is just to throw me in the dream becomes black.

Notes: I really have to train how to retain my memories from reality in the dream. A recurrent theme through my dreams are evil old ladies, I wonder why.

Was driving my car through a parking lot and park it to meet someone. Next to me on my left side was a woman in a jeep who seem like she was frustrated. I decided to not look her way and check my watch to see why the person was taking so long. Then out of no where the woman in the jeep got out of her car and hop in my passenger side. I gave her a weird look and she seemed still irritated.

I began questioning myself on why was I waiting on someone to begin with? Nothing made any sense and it was then that I became lucid. The scene change and I found myself in my previous town home living room. I practice telekinesis on my father front room door. I found it interesting how my thoughts could physically move the door on command.

I went in my father room and stare at the ceiling , there was no lights on. I then remember that if you stare in a dream too long you will wake up and it was too late. I had awaken.

1st time being lucid 2 times per night!

comment non-lucid semi/questioning lucid

Waking up at 10:00 (falling asleep around 5). Journaling 3 dream fragments.
Some problems with sleeping. 10:50 postman.

Hill and a subway
I am hiking to some hill and I take the subway on my way back. I am worried that I fail to get off at the correct station.

FA1
I am in some room, in a guest house, after coming back from the hike. It's the morning and I am putting on a long canvas dress, even though it looks weird and it is cold.

FA2
I am again in some kind of accommodation (possibly the same as in the previous dream) but the room is different. I really want to sleep but I am worried that it's too late and I don't know when the checkout time is. Then there is R and he is not worried at all. He offers me some breakfast cereals. I remember I've already eaten them and threw away the box (IRL). I am thinking that he probably hid/put aside some of them. I want him to find out when the checkout is.

FA3
I am again in the same room but this time, I am sleeping on a mattress on the ground, close to the bed from the previous dream. R is next to me, taking too much space and waking me up and I am mad because I want to sleep. Then I remember that we actually sleep somewhere else, so I should get enough sleep, even though I am not sleeping here.
Then the dream shifts to some time later and we are getting up. R is sitting on the mattress. I say "this is a FA" and do a nose-plug RC. I can breathe. But I am still confused and I can't see well. I ignore R (he doesn't exist anyway) and have the idea to find my glasses, maybe they help me with my vision. I go to the bed from FA2, trying to find them. I find it fascinating that I can be dreaming and moving at once. It's like I think I am sort of sleepwalking and the bed from FA2 is my real bed and my body is my real body. I find the glasses but I don't use them - I am thinking that this all is creating in my head so it would be pointless to try to wear the glasses.
I go to the window, thinking about jumping out and flying. But what if this is reality?
I go to the door and suddenly, my vision is much better and not blurry at all. I think I woke up (in my sleepwalking body). I do the nose-plug RC again and I can breathe, so I relax. I notice R is watching me and feel bad for ignoring him. I tell him that this is a FA and because he saw me doing the nose-plug RC, I try to show him finger-in-palm RC but it doesn't go through. I try it again, really believing it can go through, but nothing. I think I am really bad at this.
I finally remember my goal to pass through a wall. But there is no point in trying to go through a wall if I can't make my finger go through my palm.
I wake up. DEILD attempt failed.

Time: 12:40
I can't sleep. Some unstable minidreams.

MiniWILD
I can't sleep and I am feeling earthquake-like vibrations. It's annoying because I want to sleep but I am familiar with them and prepare for a separation attempt.
I stay at our garden door. I slowly sit down, remembering that I need to take things slowly and slowly try to separate. Then I realize I am not in my bed anymore, which means I am already separated.
The dream collapses.
Then there is another wave of vibrations. But nothing afterwards.
I can't sleep...

I wake up at 13:25, I want to get up. I take another cushion, put my glasses on, trying to find the will for journaling my dreams. But I feel too tired. I put the glasses away and close my eyes... ten more minutes... or maybe a WILD? Falling asleep feels easy.

PseudoWILD
I watch HI and daydream a little bit, interacting with the HI and dreamlets.
At one moment, I notice there is instrumental music in the background. I realize it is in my head and not outside, so I could use it to get into the dream. I focus on the music, trying to raise the volume.
Through small gaps in my eyes, I start to see a room. It works. But it fades a little bit and I feel my body in the bed (dream body, dream bed). I focus again and I can almost see through my eyes but also not really. I have the idea that my dream eyes are closed and I try to open them. It works. I close my eyes and open them again and my vision is very good.
I get up, slowly, worried about the stability of the dream, but it's fine and I walk a bit. I am in an unknown room, my dream bed is there and another bed/sofa. And R is here, I bump into him on my way to the door. He blocks my way out, I almost pass through him but not fully. I tell him "you are just a DC, you don't exist" (really meaning "you shouldn't be blocking my way"). He says nothing.
I take his hand, leading him to the sofa, sitting next to him. He now looks like my brother, J. I say "and that's why you look like J". I feel sorry for him but skip to the only idea I have how to use this dream. "Do you want to have sex?" I ask. He is silent. "Do you want to do something else?" He shakes his head and gives me and an empty look.

I wake up. The time is 1:51. Interestingly, I feel well and not tired anymore.

Notes:
- I struggle with fake insomnia. It can manifest as dreams about not being able to sleep (as above) or I can be in a conscious NREM sleep while thinking I am awake. Basically, my ability to tell the difference between conscious NREM and being awake is almost non-existent.
- I can't tell if the pseudoWILD was WILD or not. I obviously dreamed most of the "transition". What I perceived as my bed and my body was a dream bed and a dream body (most probably). I can't tell if the music was a HH (then it would count as a confused WILD, I guess) or if it was a part of the dream (so technically not a WILD). But if I lost my self-awareness, I was out for a minute or two, probably not much more. The whole thing took between 20 and 25 minutes.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Only remember meeting some woman and she was looking at all the people who were in the dream and when she looked me in the eyes, she locked contact with me, approached me and I felt she was real / aware and she felt the same about me. I was lucid and she told me something like "I can tell that you know we are dreaming. I can see it through the eyes." and I didn't say anything, we just shared what seemed like a never ending moment lost in each other's eyes.

A lake with a monster in it in a forest. I know that the monster just needs a kiss and it will turn into a nice girl. I jump into the water and start to swim, the monster looks like a human but the head is blue with a lizard face. I don't hesitate but just give it a small kiss. It turns into a human and we go up.

I'm home in the hall downstairs and talk with mom and my sister. I get a feeling it is a dream and I walk out. I fly away to Hemköp and see some cars on the way. A black man and a white woman are prominent as they walk the street with energy. I interact with them and talk some. I used some telekinesis om some humans and made them float over each other. I think I had a FA here but came back to the dream after some seconds. I'm sitting in one of the cars driving by before. A mom and her daughter is driving.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

Had been watching one of the Purge movies, so I had a long dream inspired on it. Don't remember all of it, but at some point I was seeking refuge with some people I know, in some modern building, who have a sort of secret attic accessible through a trap door inside some storage room. But we can't make any noise while hiding in there, which isn't at all easy. Our chasers don't find us at first, but somehow come back later knowing where we are. Since they are looking for me and a couple friends specifically, we decide to leave to avoid them hurting the others. We manage to get to ground floor to escape the building, but the doors are all locked. My friends get hurt, not shot but frozen somehow. They are stiff on the floor, like ice rocks and I carry them to near the door and hug and massage them to try to revive them. I don't have to face our chasers anymore for some reason, but there is someone at the reception who is controlling the entrance of the building and I have a confrontation with her. She says we won't go anywhere, but I manage to open the doors and then she calls back our attackers to chase us down again. We run outside through narrow streets as fast as we can. We arrive at a big park and we spread out to confuse our stalkers, but we have a rendez-vous point at the top of the park. I have to cross a swimming pool and fastest way is swimming, so I jump in and when I get out on the other side, I am wearing a red bikini and there are people swimming there at night and some guys start flirting with me but I push them away, have no time to deal with it. I meet my friends at a small flight of stairs leading to an old palace on top of a hill. But instead of taking the normal path towards the palace, I see some stairs to the right going through a small tunnel and I chose those instead. It leads us to a small stone house that seems frozen in time. There is a man living there and he is not pleased to see us, but he doesn't kick us out, he just tries to ignore us and sits at his wood stove carved on a rock wall, cooking his lunch or something. We look around for a while admiring how medieval this place is and then he opens up and says this house has been passed down for generations of caretakers of the palace. He also claims we are safe in there, if we are hiding from something. There is an animal, maybe a donkey, at a corner in the middle of a pile of hay.

I had some longer half-lucid or lucid dream but forgot about it. But I was going around admiring places and buildings and deciding what to explore. At some point I see a modern building with glass walls built in the style of a pagoda and I want to see it inside. I enter the surrounding yard, which as I go around the building, leads to a panoramic terrace with a view to a gorgeous city, very much like Paris in all its splendor. I see beautiful palaces and avenues with trimmed gardens and people promenading. My mom is with me and she says she doesn't see what I see, that she is not able to observe such details, just that we are at an indistinct building and sort of a void around it. it's as if she is sharing a lucid dream with me but unable to be as aware of its intricacies. I am telling her about how to boost and keep awareness, but the dream fades and I wake up for a few seconds before going back to the dream.

Back in front of the same building, I go inside and find a basket on the floor with some small animal in it. First I think it may be a puppy, but I pick it up and it is a baby elephant, newborn, still covered in gunk. He gets scared and jumps to the ground and runs away but I catch him again with a blanket. He calms down as I clean him and he imprints on me. H starts seeing me as his mommy.
I forgot part of the dream, but he grows up a little bit and I take him to some place in the countryside. It is some kind of farm. I am away from the house, near the entrance gate, where there is a vegetable garden in raised beds. Some of the vegetables will feed the elephant and others will feed people living there. All is well and I am admiring the road leading to the property, which is sided by a rammed-earth wall on both sides. it catches my attention that part of the wall is covered in old faded beige tiles. Then I hear a loud noise and I look back to see shots fired from the end of the path hitting the wall and coming closer and closer towards me. I run forward but on the other side I also see shots coming towards me. I feel trapped. Then I see a group of women running in front of a group of Talibans in front of me and and some men running away the shots from behind me. I feel confused about where to run to. The men behind me jump over the wall to the other side but they are still under fire somehow. I just freeze against the wall, unable to decide what to do and the women and their chasers just pass by me and ignore me. Apparently I am not a priority to them, but I still don't feel safe. I think they execute the other women. I run down the path and arrive at a road going upwards to the mountains. I run up for my dear life. Soon after the men who had jumped the wall behind me cross paths with me and instead of going up the road as I do, they go in a perpendicular direction towards the mountain. But doesn't take long until they appear again running down the road. They warn me about more Talibans coming. We go down the mountain again and they take me to a village, to the house of a western agent they know, who is actually Nighthawk. We stay in his place and everyone is nervous, not knowing what is going to happen next. They fear it is only a matter of time until the terrorists find this place and that we're hiding there. Some other guy hands Nighthawk a chip and tells him to hide it where it can't be found and he says he will, but then just puts it in a pocket in his pants.

I'm in some room with a bunk bed. My dad sits in the lower one and talks about money problem and some kind of new job (New fragment). I'm holding in a knife and fighting with Gabriel in my class. He is striking me all the time and I just block. I run away and see my surroundings, I'm in a big house with roof at least 8 meters up. I run for the exit but a girl is there with a knife. I run back and notice that she is going to throw the knife at me. I laugh at her because I know it will be easy to dodge the throw from this distance. She throws the knife and it is easy to dodge it. (new fragment). There is a ghost by the shore and we walk to it. It has armor and a bone shield on its back. I try to hit it but it has no effect. Dad comes and cracks his shoulder pad open. The armor falls off and Peter comes out from it. He is friendly and we walk away (new fragment). We come to a campfire and there is a good looking girl there which triggers lucidity. I tell all the people by the campfire that this is a dream and they nod. Details are disappearing and my vision goes dark.

Notes: My cousins played a game where they pretend to have knives and hit each other.

comment lucid non-lucid

VILD during a late WBTW. Visualizing something about an old woman who would teach me visualization. I think she is my dream guide because it was my subconscious filling in her look. I want to meet her in a dream one day.
I am losing it, my minds wander through short daydreams, dreamy thoughts and minidreams.

Rose Garden
In my childhood garden, I am thinking about where to plant roses.

A shitty dream sign
I am in my grandmother's house, with my husband, in her bed. I notice he has something brown on his green fleece jacket and it is poop, stuck to his jacket in several places on his back!
I call my mum but I can't scream, so I tell him to call her. She comes and takes the jacket and tries to clean it.
I talk with her about how she got a water tap to this room (it isn't there IRL). She tells me to think. I realize there always was a water pipe on the other side of the wall. But I don't understand why the water pipe leads through a wardrobe.
I think about how my husband was able to get the poop all over his jacket. How was he able to do it? And how was he positioned in the litter tray?
I realize it is my cat usually having these problems, not my husband!
I am waking up from the dream but I feel relaxed. There will be another dream soon.

Exploring a mysterious research facility
I am lying on a floor, it's made of beige tiles, cold and sloping down from me. I realize this is my dream body lying there, feeling this, and I am lucid! I am worried about the dream not being stable yet but I try to slide down the slope, head first. But I have some clothing under me, preventing this. I return to my original position, worrying about moving my real body if I do something too radical.
Then I decide this is stable enough and movement helps to stabilize anyway, so I adjust my clothing, sit, and slide down the slope, gaining speed on my way down.
Under the slope, I stand in a corridor. There are two doors, partially open. I choose the way directly forward but can't stop thinking about the other door. What was there?
Behind the door, there is another corridor and some cabinets with drawers. It feels like some (old/socialist/east European) research facility or a similar institution (imagine tiled floor, wood veneer on furniture, and that ugly yellow waterproof paint on the walls). I open some of the drawers, they are very detailed but empty.
There are more doors and I have to choose again. I feel a presence behind one of those doors and get worried about someone finding me here. I quickly progress away from this presence and suppress the thought.
Another door and I can hear some people and smell food. Great, I think, an opportunity to taste some food in a LD.
It looks like a cafe. They have some deep-fried stuff and some big fried balls, maybe eggs. I ask if I can get something and they tell me to wait in line.
I start remembering that I was just sleeping and only have my sleeping clothes and no money with me. That sounds like a problem. I have an idea to check my pockets but no money they - only an old, used, paper tissue. I try again and try to really believe that I have money but again, nothing there.
It's my turn and I say that I want something to eat but have no money. They obviously think I am crazy. I ask them if they can give me something again but people around laugh, thinking I am some poor student.
I leave the room, feeling embarrassed. Isn't it stupid, that I have to pay in my own dream?
I try spinning around to leave the scene and change the scenery but I only crash into an automatic door and hurt my arms. Which is even more embarrassing.
Then there is a huge hall, like a railway station or something like that. There are people - many of them - hurrying somewhere, everyone going somewhere and there's too many of them and I am still disoriented after crashing into that door and I don't know what to do.
Suddenly, there is my ex, S. He says: "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" and I say "You are someone I used to have sex with a lot" too and we hug and start to make out.
I tell him "this is my dream" and he says "no, this is my dream". I say "I don't believe in shared dreaming" and I think that means that one of us has to be lying. And it has to be him because I know I am dreaming. Or is it possible to be in someone else's dream? What if this is really his dream and this is the reason why I lack control?
I notice that his face has changed. His hairs are now short and his face is different. And he feels like someone else. Is this some shared dreaming trick? I ask him why is he looking different.
I wake up.

the dream start i was laying down in the streets and some heavy rain starts pouring i get up and see a guy in a black leather jacket and red pants he ask me do i play games i try to answer then he reaches in his pocket then pulls out a bag of weed i reach and try to grab it and jolting lighting pulse hit me when i touch the weed bag i try to stay lucid but i was losing awareness and i fell out the dream right when the pulse of lighting hit it was awesome who remember getting that jolt!!

I'm walking in city and the word freedom comes into my head. That triggers lucidity and I fly to the waters. I see some humans and want to do some tricks with them. There is an indian and I grab his hand. I fly up with him fast and throw him up into the air and spin him 360 and catch him again. It's pretty heavy and I fall down a bit when I receive him. He starts to talk to me but I feel his bad intentions and I fly away from him. I fly over the waters and come to an exotic jungle with very big leaves and vegetation that I have not seen before. I am amazed by the beauty and just inspect the blue flowers for some time. I fly down to the water and think about how it is hard to fly in the water. I tell myself that it is only a dream and that I can do it. I fly down in to the water and keep a 45 degree angle with my face pointing to the surface. The air is really fresh. My feet go in mud by accident and there are some really big fish there. The water starts to become really thick and I can't move any more. I am being washed to shore and I try to break through with force but it's impossible. I see the shore now but the water is like sandpaper and my skin is hurting. I am finally up and I fly away again. I fly over the waters but suddenly I fall really fast close to the water and I am able to get up again. I see an island with some crocodiles on it. I inspect them but suddenly my flying stops working again and I fall to the crocodiles. They start to eat me and I struggle for some time with them. I am able to escape them.

Notes: I went to bed early and woke up early. I saw some nature documentary this week and saw some crocodiles eat animals and carnivore plants.

Started with me running near a couple of grocery stores, I began to feel more aware and told myself before running to the store that I am probably going to regret this.
I can sense a bad feeling coming from the store.

I ran inside and started zipping by so many people. I began to fly like superman inside the store as cashiers and customers look at me like I was nuts. I was lucid now and enjoy flying throughout the building in till I got stop by two guys who identify as cops.

I allow them to search me and they told me they found a gun on me. Confuse and panic I told them it's not mine and that this must be some kind of mistake. They didn't care and grab me by arms and said " you're coming to the station, we have a murder investigation around this area "

I thought about how many times I didn't want to be wrongfully accused and go to prison for the rest of my life so I tried to run and I was slow for some reason and they caught me and started beating me in till I lost awareness.