lucid

Log 1212 - Raid on Death Squad HQ, The Gang Steal a Car, Crazy Niece, Apartment Suite Uncanny Guide, and Spontaneous Flight DILD Fragments

Two in one. As such, I spoilered what's below to keep from cluttering up the front page.

Created Thursday 23 August 2018

Spoiler for Log 1212:

Scraps and a very short DILD today.

Scrap Group 1
In a live-action version of Liberal Crime Squad. I raid Death Squad Headquarters to steal secret documents.

Watching Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The gang snuck into a fancy party. Later, they stole a car, only to total it nearby. They tried deflecting blame to another party-goer, despite all the evidence to the contrary (it was said party-goer's car, and virtually everyone there witnessed that he wasn't the one driving it at the time).

In an unknown apartment room. My niece was acting like a lunatic.

Living in an apartment suite with strangers?

Riding around town in a large bus. Later, my guide, E, climbed onboard. She had a most uncanny form, having six arms ending in clawed hands, a row of cannons circling above her waist, and the legs, thorax, and abdomen of a spider below. The interface from LCS revealed she had fantastic combat skills. I asked her to show off her powers. From her cannons, she let out a barrage of energy blasts to the empty aisles of the vehicle.

Dreamlet to dream. I was walking around the block. Got aware. I ran as fast as I could, then hovered above the ground. I soon got distracted by other thoughts. Things immediately destabilized.

Log 1213 - Bandido Blaster and Other Assorted Stories
Created Friday 24 August 2018

Spoiler for Log 1213:

Quite a bit to note today. There was plenty more, though I can't recall any of that. Seems I gotta work on my memory again.

Dream 1 - Out-Of-Breath Buffet Search

The visuals were mostly clear. I was going out for a meal with my bro. We stop at a supposed Chili's/McDonald's hybrid. Among the items that interested me was a ribs combo meal (might've even a kid's meal!). But, I also "knew" of a buffet deal Chili's was offering. My brother was too full to indulge in that, so I took off on my own. I went down a hallway then through the back door of the place. Merely passing through triggered lucidity.

I stopped breathing, and kept walking. My plan was to either 'power up', or teleport elsewhere. Instead, I'd somehow felt myself not breathing IWL, causing destabilization. Some thorough hand rubbing kept me mostly in state. Brief warp to a foggy environment. As I paced through, I willed my breath to become ice. This took the form of ice needles, snow trailing behind each spikes.

Things eventually clarified. For a moment, I was in a large warehouse of a kind. After yet another warp, I found myself outside in a very long plaza, bright neon lights illuminating the cloudless night sky. Such a colorful view made me guess this was supposed to be a Vegas knock-off. Anyway, I still kept my sights set on a buffet. I passed a few restaurants, a movie theater, and many, many tax/law offices, for whatever reason. After three minutes, I couldn't find what I was searching for. The dream collapsed shortly after that.

Scrap Group 1
Washing dishes. I accidentally overheat a large ceramic bowl, causing it to break. By holding my breath, and with great concentration, I rewound time to keep it from getting shattered.

WILD loops in bed. I roll off into the void each time. There was one instance where I flew around indoors momentarily. In most cases, I tried summoning E, with inconclusive results. Woke up. DEILD transition a minute later.

Dream 2 - Bandido Blaster

DEILD transition in bed. I again roll into the void, only this time, I rubbed my hands until a scene formed. I then found myself in an old west desert at twilight, green cacti dotting the landscape, everything of which was 'drawn' in 16-bit graphics. Suitably, the Desert Theme from Bomberman Tournament sounded in the background. Wind was kicking up sand and dust, yet there was no sound of such, though my imitating those things fixed that quickly.

Just then, a cartoon bandido jumped out at me, guns blazing. I took cover behind several boulders and cacti, leaping between each when needed. I again held my breath, this time, intending to become a Spellforged Guardian. In an instant, my form changes from flesh to flowing, prismatic light. Gave me quite a boost. Yet, when I tried retaliating, I found that I couldn't quite get a grasp on this energy. I kept hidden in the meantime. It took a good half-minute of just staring at my hands before I could figure this out. I then vaporized the enemy in a single shot.

Several unknown occurrences before the dream ended.

Scrap Group 2
False awakening in bed. I started partially aware, but quickly lost that. A distant relative showed up to berate me. Cue a vicious brawl.


Watching gameplay of a 2D Dragon Ball Z fighting game (Hyper Dragon Ball Z?), an adult Gohan mirror match. At times, I feel myself performing their moves.

Dreams over the past few weeks.

Jamie dreams have all been short and not very active:

Black space

I'm Standing in a black space with her and we are both smiling.

Chat

Chatting with Jamie over facebook. We both keep saying something about next week we both seem to be really excited about it.

Long drop off from the dreams, about a week or more.

Yesterday:

2 fragments

First one me and Jamie are walking down a street at night time. Second one, she is working with me at mcdonald's and asks the cooker to put down more reg meat.

This morning:

Scary

Jamie comes up to me and says, " this is us." and shows me a kids drawing of her and me dead with x's over our eyes like we just committed suicide. I'm like, "Um, no!" and I give her a picture of us hugging instead.

Switches to another scene of a cinematic shot of ambulances pulling up to a house. Then I'm looking through Jamie's eyes and I'm on a stretcher looking at the men wheeling me into the ambulance... Cryptic.

Other dreams:

Lucid

I was in some big university with some people. It was very crowded and I was lost walking the corridors. Some SJW looking girl and her friend were with me and they kept telling me I was going the wrong way.

I left them and walked into a shower room. In the shower room were a bunch of gay guys wearing fishnets with their goods hanging out. Became lucid here and decided to leave right away. I backtracked a lot and got lost again trying to get out of the university. I found a landing with several staircases going in different directions. I went up the middle one and found a hallway which led to a door outside.

Outside I flew up to get a better view of the area. The building itself was wooden and looked centuries old. I landed on the ceiling that looked abandoned and wandered inside somewhere. I wanted to try teleportation again. I thought of Jamie and wandered through a few doors. She was nowhere but I saw a hole in the floor to small to fit through. I jumped up and tried to use the hole as a portal. When I tried that the dream ended.

Not again

I was flying through a dream portal and landed in a dream with C. "not you again," I said to her and woke myself up from the dream.

Resort

A dream of walking through a vacation resort with a different C. Can't remember much details.

Strange place

I was in a grassy field by a large wooden structure shaped kind of like a bowl. I jumped on it and Saw Bjork there. She said we had to get away from the bad man. I looked and saw a throne. I ran to it and seen a scary guy sitting on it wearing a metal mask. He was holding a metal spear.

Family trip

I was in a strange place with my dad, my brother and his girlfriend. There was a big chute or slide I had to go down but was too afraid because it was a snow slope at the other end. I wasn't even dressed so I told them I had to find a snow suit. I found a large blanket and wrapped myself in it. I woke up before I could go down the chute.

Aug 23 2018

Woke up at 3:30 am, remember bits of a long NL. I was a female (possibly jewish?) in some sort of relationship/society/sisterhood. My best friend or leader was dismissing me from the group sternly but also still loves me and was sad to see me go. I remember the words "Is it possible to always be a mama bear?" with no context (hey -- they made sense then). I also remember a DC from earlier in the dream that looked like an old (current) Seinfeld with white hair. I think I was returning to my family.

Was moderately relaxed but again had some trouble getting back to sleep*. Got up and went to the bathroom, then came back. Figured since I still couldn't get to sleep I would try to relax and WILD. No success after some time (although I had some pretty great hypnagogic imagery), so I SSILD'd and laid on my side**.

I eventually got to sleep about 45 minutes or an hour after waking. I didn't notice it, but my neck was strained because of the pillow's position. I then had a series of FA's where I would wake up in my bed and talk/move around, but my fiance would angrily tell me to go to sleep each time because she had work in the morning. Between the second and third FA, I woke up briefly and realized was happening. I resolved that if it happened again, I would take advantage of it.

Success! The next time I FA'd, I saw apple peelings on the bed, and went downstairs to get some apple juice from the fridge, and I thought about tryptophan and realized I was dreaming! I didn't immediately look at my hands and clarify the situation, but I was able to stumble through the dark dream living room (my movement felt somewhat staggering). There was a terrifying old (demon?) woman's face on the couch, so partly out of fear I decided to leave this dream. I pressed my dream head down into the "pillow" to change dream scenes and vaguely thought of a giant tree as a new destination.

I think that when I used this technique (pressing head back into pillow), I somehow became more conscious of my WL body and realized I was lying on my side with my neck strained and my left eye being pressed in by the pillow. As the new dream scene materialized, It came to me in portrait format instead of landscape, if you can imagine that -- and it was letterboxed (black bars on the left and right). This effect worked so well because I could only see out of my right "dream eye", so I didn't have the advantage of binocular vision to "3D it away". Because of my awareness of my neck strain, I also couldn't move my head at all, and the only thing I could control was zooming my vision in and out.

The dream scene wasn't a giant tree, but rather another, smaller version of the previous living room, only bright this time (with daylight coming in through the window and the indoor lights on). There was no one in the room. I understood that it went back some ways behind me and was dark that way. The couch was similar to my childhood couch (old and scratchy, had diagonal woven textiles, like thick yarn) but was grey instead of tan. There were some objects strewn about the couch. As I zoomed in closer, objects would "pop" out of existence, sort of the opposite effect of the Object Fade setting in video games; when I zoomed out, they would return. There was a largeish button, a cylindrical something, a box, and some other miscellaneous vague items.

I should have tried to change dream scenes again, but I think that would have been difficult considering I probably would have had to press left instead of back to fall into the pillow, and who knows if that would have worked. The dream faded very slowly and I probably could have held onto it longer.

Later I had another FA but failed to convert it. When I awoke I was feeling more relaxed and thought I'd casually try to WILD for a bit again. It was nice because I could feel the waves of vibration flow over me. I was doing LaBerge's "1. I'm dreaming. 2. I'm dreaming. 3. ..." method, trying to be a passive observer and let the dream take me in. Had some very vivid HI again and let it play out before me. I think I got partway there, because I remember my HI started integrating into moving imagery, then mini dream scenes, then almost a full dream scene. At the height of it, I was a point in space rotating around a stadium that looked like a giant thimble. I think I was fully aware, enough to at least call it a semi-lucid, but I don't think it was a dream as much as imagery; it didn't feel dreamlike, and I didn't feel as if I was really "in it" as much as I was just "seeing it".

Later in the night I had some more FAs and in some of them I was semi-lucid but not fully there. Once I was trying to WILD again, but got interrupted by a sudden and powerful fear of an intruder.

Overall, a pretty good night! I'm intereseted to know if anyone else has had this kind of "locked view" experience in their dreams, lucid or otherwise.



*I'm not sure why this is happening lately (waking up earlier and can't get back to sleep); I always considered myself a heavy sleeper and never have trouble getting to bed. Also, I haven't been setting alarms or autosuggestions to do WBTB, I think just possibly raised nighttime awareness after meditation is causing small disturbances to wake me. Any advice appreciated.

**I tend to lie on my back most of the time, which helps with vivid dreams and recall, but seems to be causing problems with getting to sleep and staying asleep if I'm not already tired from the day. It also makes me hyperaware of early morning hunger.

***Also just wanted to note that I've been abstaining from my nighttime tea (it makes me drowsy on weekday mornings) and any supplements (I sometimes use melatonin and/or valerian), but have been drinking half a glass of apple juice each night 30ish minutes before bed. Luckily I

4.8 Yeah I had this a while back.

I was stuck in an apartment with mind controlled people. The source of that was in the fridge, where I found a massive black snake with the ability to control minds. There was also a lady in the fridge. The dream was bizarre and eventually changed into something different. Everything was blurry. I looked at my hand and started to become lucid, but the dream was dark and slipping away.

I find myself in my room, lying in bed. I still remember that I'm dreaming, so I look at my hand. I can't move my body, but somehow managed to see my hand by just willing it to happen. I tell myself that my physical form doesn't have to move out of the bed, I can leave it behind. I roll out of the bed in my ghost form. This makes the dream crystal clear and detailed. I want to go outside and phase through the wall and window with some trouble. I stumble into the grass. It's night and the city I see in front of me is not like waking life at all.

I walk across a parking lot and do some reality checks, because everything feels so real my mind still fights the fact that it's a dream. I plug my nose and breathe through. Then I look at my hand and bend the fingers in the wrong direction. Yep, pretty sure it's a dream.

I remember my goal and shout "Give me the power I desire!". I started thinking if I needed to know what I desire and decided it was flying. With my arms wide and looking at the night sky, I waited to feel something. Nothing felt different, couldn't fly yet. DCs passed by me, looking at me like I was a weirdo. I kept following the road and met some friends who I decided to follow. I looked at the stars again and imagined power flowing to me from all the different worlds. Nothing happened. The night sky was filled with way more stars than you see irl.

I entered a restaurant with my friends and met a big group of friends from school. They were all eating. I tasted some dish with tomatoes and potatoes. Wasn't too bad, but nothing amazing. I kept trying to fly and finally a DC wanted to help. One of my oldest friends, Niko was going to help me. He told me to lie down. I cleared the top of a piano that was in the corner and lied down on it. Niko went out of the restaurant to get something and I started to lose the dream. Couldn't stop it.

I close my eyes then start moving lucidly around my surrounding then I fall to my knees holding my stomach then grip the ground bashing the floor I scream I start to fall from the heavens then I wake up in lucidity murdering every virtual opponent I start crying as my tears start to fall I start transforming god starts worshipping me trying to banish me out of heaven until I see her again then I start moving slowly I bend down on one knee then lounge forward screaming I wake up laying in bed in darkness I close my eyes tighter my eye lids start to fall then I'm flying in the heavens looking at a vast eternity I see puppets and angels getting murder In my sight the there jus subconscious being I don't know if they really have a consciousness then I wake standing in mid air falling from my chest start bleeding then I'm falling in the ocean as I get buried under water in the ocean I wake up I close my eyes tighter then I'm in a seem less adventure where I'm in a burning forest where I stand in the wake of others persecuting me until I sleep again

This weekend I started using a more intense regimen for day work and night work to increase dream recall and lucidity. It worked (somewhat)!

Day work: relaxed ADA, i.e. every few hours I do ADA for an hour. During that hour, every 10 minutes I remember in detail what I was doing 10 minutes ago. Also, each time I take my dog for a walk, I do walking meditation and focus on all of my senses.

Night work: night meditation before bed and in bed, setting intentions for WBTB, and SSILD during WBTB. Started keeping a physical DJ instead of using my phone in the morning. As I'm falling asleep initially, I revisit past NLs and visualize that I do an RC and calmly go through my lucid checklist -- calmly state that I'm dreaming, get a good look of my surroundings, start moving through the dream, once I feel somewhat stable scream "clarity now!" (and expect it), keep setting goals for myself to move forward, and most of all, feel calm and confident with an expectation of success.

---

Aug 17 2018 (morning of)

Begin day work, but no night work yet -- no LDs, but recorded several NLs.

---

Aug 18 2018

Day work, begin new night work.
Two semi-lucids (SL) and one LD, as well as a greater number of NLs than normal.

SL: I'm in a bus. I can feel warm sunlight through the window on my left arm. I'm going down a street near my childhood home. At some point, I become semi-lucid and begin to drive instead of being a passenger. I shift to 3rd person view, and I'm able to zoom and rotate the viewpoint to behind and around the bus, lower to the ground, higher, etc. Eventually I arrive at the end of the street and turn down a shortened version of the waking life street--this place reminds me of the wooded area near where I send my dog for day care when we go out of town. There's an outdoor party under a pavillion that in waking life is used to shelter tractors. My fiance, mother, and sister are all there with other random DCs.

LD: I find myself in an opulent room with deep red walls. The beams and columns are wooden and gold, with gold trim on everything in the room. There is a wooden desk ten feet in front of me with scattered scrolls/books/papers and other golden/brass instruments sitting atop it. The room feels cluttered but I can't remember with what -- bookshelves, tapestries? All around me deep red, wood, and gold are prevalent. I look at my hands and each of my fingertips has a small twisted mouth on it, similar to the strange writhing creature on the tree in Twin Peaks Season 3. I instantly become lucid and say "I'm dreaming". I begin to walk forward towards the table and repeat again, louder: "I'm dreaming!" Then I scream at the top of my lungs "Clarity now!", however I may have doubted myself too much, and the words come out garbled. The visual intensity increases greatly and I physically rise up from the ground. I can see there is some sort of light source on the light beige/tan ceiling, and suddenly I'm dropped back to the ground, as if the dream is rejecting me and literally spitting me out of the dream. I don't pop out of the dream, but it fades extremely quickly. The total length was probably less than 10 seconds.

Other SL omitted for quadruple X rating and just plain bizarreness.

---

Aug 19 2018

Day work and night work.
One LD, lots of NLs (more than normal).

LD: As soon as I enter the dream, before even examining my surroundings, I feel aware. I look at my hands and calmly say "I'm dreaming!" and feel pretty stable. The sky is reddish and very dark. I am standing on some igneous rock or basalt, with patches of dried yellow grass, some of which look as if they're illuminated by sunlight. There is also some gravel. I walk forward a few paces and set goals to walk to this patch of grass, then this one. I start to feel worried about the stability of the dream, so I drop to the ground and scream "Clarity now!" as I rub the palms of my hands and knees against the gravel and rock. As I was falling to my knees, the position of my legs and knees relative to my hands feels off--like they didn't exist before I dropped down. As I walk I realize that the rock that I'm on is sort of a cliff or hill, and that there's a dirt path on the ground level a few feet below the dropoff. I look up and see several houses ahead. The sky is darker near the houses. I'm level with the dirt path as the path rose up and the cliff dropped down to a point where they met. I stand up and pass the first, smaller one on my left. I believe the front door was open. The second house is larger and somewhat menacing. I feel some subconscious fear, and suddenly I dream bursts and I'm awake (or in an FA, which I really need to learn to convert). I think this one lasted somewhere around 30-45 seconds.

---

Aug 20 2018

Return to daily regimen only -- no lucids, only about 3 NLs remembered.

August 20th

67/ In class with piles of reading and work to be done. I packed up and left early. Had to maneuver under and over strings of ropes in the hallway to get out.

68/ At a meeting were people were dressed in clothes made of flags and bullets and feathers, eagle feathers I think. My friends were seduced into the group. It felt like a cult to me. I went into a house and sat alone wondering how to get my friends out of the group. A cat came and sat on my lap. A girl appeared out of the shadows and sat at my feet. The cat was hers so I gave it back. She wanted me to help her escape the group. I was conflicted. I wanted to help her, she looked so desperate but on the other hand I’d probably be charged with kidnapping. We tried to come up with a way for her and my friends to be rescued.

69/ I had to rush back to school, I'd missed my bus. I did intervals of jogging and walking even though school would mostly be over by the time I got there. Cars kept driving too near to me, almost running me over. At a corner a truck aimed for me. I ran behind a stop sign and the truck hit that instead. Was it even worth it to go to classes i didn't even like?

70/ 17th Lucid Can’t remember what clued me in, but I reality checked to discover I was in a dream. Told my friend we were in a dream. He didn’t believe me so I leaped into the air and drifted up and over electric lines. I told him to fly too but he couldn’t do it. I told him to sing a song he likes, run to the beat, his steps would get lighter each time. I drifted around in the sky and waited. He finally ran up into the air and flew unsteadily. He adopted a swimming through the air technique to stabalize. I drifted around in circles and rose higher into the sky. Friend swam after me. I suddenly sort of remembered one of my goals and yelled down to my friend, “I’m sorry. I have to leave. There’s something I must do.” I flew up into the clouds, which were brightly illuminated by the half moon. I couldn’t rise higher than the clouds. I didn’t know exactly what I needed to do, all I knew was I needed to get up past this world and into the next.

Fragments
Letters illuminating on a board, sort of like wheel of fortune but much larger.
A ragged cloth wrapped clumsily in blue ribbon

71/ 18th Lucid Was with a tour group in a place that looked like Arizona. We traveled for a while and came to a secret raging river and massive waterfall. People, against the tour guides’ wills, climbed down the rocks to the water’s edge. I was one of those people. I just wanted to touch the water. Everyone sat on a rock ledge and let their feet dangle in the river, chatting. I tried to sing but people talked over me. Arguing amongst the tourists ensued.
I noticed a small island mid river and was instantly filled with the unshakable desire to wade across to it. I reality checked because of the stupidity of my decision and discovered I was dreaming. I reality checked one more time to be sure. I slipped over the ledge and dropped into the water. It was cold and not very forceful but the stones under my feet were slippery. It felt very real, I reality checked again. Yes, still dreaming.
People behind me yelled for me to get out of the river. I told them it was okay. When they wouldn’t shut up, turned and angrily yelled, “I’m invisible. I was never here.” It worked. Everyone forgot about me. I reality checked again and waded across the river. It occured that I could get across some easier way but felt it was necessary for me to ford the rapids.
I got across and crawled up onto the island, which sat at the top edge of the very tall waterfall. I peeked over and could not see the bottom, it was too misty. I was tempted to fall into the mis to see where I'd end up. I didn’t. I turned back to the island there sat an old woman and man sitting in the flowers watching me.
“Will you sing us a song?” they asked, together. “I can try,” I answered. I sang for them all the songs I could think of. I don’t remember what happened after this.

Have to work harder at remembering my lucid goals and ways to not be distracted.

Afternoon of August 20, 2018. Monday.

Reading time: 35 sec. Readability score: 70.



I am squatting near the edge of a pool and holding onto the tail of a barracuda in a Sea World setting. Only its front half is submerged. I know that if I let it go, it has the potential to swim around and bite me. That is not a certainty, but I am unsure what to do. My view is more as if I am watching myself from above and behind and there is no tangibility in this scene. My dream fades without incident.

---

I do not usually sleep (nap) at the time of 4:30 p.m.

The reactive representation stems from a more active mental state (barracuda) being incompatible with the lesser level of melatonin (water). My semi-lucid self is aware of this and what it implies. I do not have the biological need to enter deeper sleep at the time, so I liminally create an impasse scenario.

---

When I removed myself from my body I found that I'm at my parents house. It was night. My spiritual body was black... I concentrated on my arms... It was beautiful in its own way. Very detailed. On surface it was refracting the light like on tiny diamonds here and there. And after longer observation I saw dark violet aura surrounding me.
First thing I did was calling for my soulmate in the case she is close. Astral zombie of my brother woke up at that point and told me disapprovingly that I should stop to try contact and meet her. He said something like she doesn't deserve my help. And then went back into astral zombie state. Outside of parent house, the snow was falling slowly. I knew that it is summer in reality but I had no capacity to be surprised. So I took flight to her home. As usually I got lost but I managed to retrace my travel and make it back to known surrounding. I repeated this 3 times after I got lost again and again. Pity, I didn't manage to reach her house as last time the redirection was at the same place as return point and I wasn't able to go any closer.
So I turned my eyes on sky. I tried to find the moon, but it wasn't on sky anymore. Therefore, I looked on stars... And I decided to fly to the stars instead. It took some concentration to make it happen and I started to magnify (and fly) to particular shining star. But the star vanished- did I overfly it? I looked behind. I was in space surrounded by myriads of stars, submerged in bluish and reddish nebulae. For a few minutes I tried to find course which I should take. Accelerating randomly in a random vectors to random parts of space. Or at least I thought that I'm accelerating. But my surrounding wasn't changing visibly.
So I stopped and concentrated on stars instead. After short time some stars started to shone more strongly appearing larger than shining dust particles. I took flight to them. And I overshot greatly... when I stopped the flight I was far in the intergalactic space. I didn't even know which direction was milky way. All the galaxies... and not one looked familiar- not that I have memorized shapes and coordinates of galaxies... or stars for that case. So I stopped. And stayed there.


Remarks
- I think I have subconscious block to contact my soulmate- I had discussion with a few people about shared experiences and they think that something like meeting, or waking someone in LD or OBE isn't moral thing to do. That I'm interfering with peoples privacy LOL. Funny opinion, still maybe it lingers now in my subconsciousness since I thought about it for some time.
-I looked in the table now- The moon was setting down at 23:15 and I traveled at about 1:30 at night. Still this isn't good enough proof of reality Maybe I knew that subconsciously, because at around 21:00 the moon was at approximately SWW position.

I remember bits of a dream where I was exploring a multiplayer pvp map of a game I don't recognize. I went to the top floor of the building and snuck into a secret area through some vents. It had a greater purpose in singleplayer mode, but in multiplayer it didn't do much. I found myself in an office with a computer and a doomsday laser. I was trying to reach around to the computer but when I touched the floor alarms sounded. I hid and waited for the guards to show up. After a bit only 1 guy came in, and he seemed to be the evil boss you'd normally encounter when playing this. He didn't see me. He went to his computer and readied the laser. Evidently this laser would have the power to level buildings and he was ready to use it against me. I found myself with a rocket launcher. I pointed it at a router and walked through the plan in my head. First I'd shoot the router to stop any wireless activity, then I'd shoot the computer tower, and then the laser.

Now the next two dreams may be mixed a bit. They were similar dreams and I had them one after the other.

I woke up at 5am to my alarm and attempted FILD to no success. I rolled over and played around with my imagination. I couldn't see anything, but I imagined I was holding onto a balloon. As the balloon rose and flew in the wind, so did I. Before I knew it I was in a dream with the balloon above. I then got on top of the balloon and used it to fly circles around the area I was in. After a moment I realized I actually had transitioned into a dream, so I checked my palms and found they had detail. I looked around at the area and saw I was in a neighborhood with many trees. I descended down to the nearest house I could find and willed the inside to look like my dream hub. I walked inside, turned to my right to enter the living room/main area of the hub. I was disappointed with what I saw. Instead of what should have been I only saw one sad looking chair, a flimsy desk, and a few scattered items I didn't pay much attention to. I walked through the living room and into what would be a dining room in the original location. I found myself in the living room of my current house instead. I then decided I would spawn in my DG. I started talking to her. "Sarah, I know you're behind me. I am going to turn around and you'll be with me." I turned around...and she wasn't there.
I then went back through the pitiful living room and went upstairs hoping to see the upstairs from my old house that the dream hub is based on. I turned the corner and just saw the current house's second floor. I went to my room and checked my computer out of curiosity. I could read it, but it was all dark with . It looked almost like an inverted effect. I quickly gave up on that and went back downstairs and outside. I woke up due to frustration with my dream control.

I turned over and went back to sleep. My breathing rate was far too high to be relaxed so I had to pace myself and remind myself I'm dreaming every couple of moments until I fell back sleep.
I was in the dream hub again, but it still didn't appear correctly. I again went outside to try some other things. I told myself "This is a dream. This is MY dream. I am in control. I can do whatever I want." After being unable to conjure fire from my fingers I then tried doing things that would be easier to accomplish that I could build upon to give myself control. I broke my finger backwards and felt it a bit but was able to quickly subdue the pain. I used that to tell myself the dream wasn't real and that I was in control. I was about to try some other measure of dream control until two ladies drive up to the house in separate cars. One car looked like a classic jaguar and the other a classic corvette. Both women were stunning and enticing. The corvette woman was very blunt that it was their mission to capture me and take me to their company. I declined the offer. She then took off and left. The other woman told me seductively that she knew what I really wanted. She told me to hop into her car and she'd take me somewhere special. I stupidly went along with it. As we arrived at our destination I asked if she knew how to talk to my subconscious. I had some questions I really wanted to ask of my inner self. She looked at me like I was crazy. She had no clue what I was talking about. She then took my into the building and I quickly realized I had been duped. I let my instincts take over and got myself trapped at this institute that they had intended to take me to before. I had enough of the situation and woke up later due to my 7am alarm.

So for the record the dream hub is still in the planning phase at this stage. I have been thinking of the idea for a year or two. I know what it should look like. I originally intended it to be a wonderland for a tulpa I was working on. Her name was Sarah. I'd still kind of like to succeed with tulpamancy, but it requires so much work. I have tried with tulpamancy for almost as long as I have with lucid dreaming and haven't had much success. I have had seasons of giving up tulpamancy altogether and other seasons of trying real hard to accomplish my goals. I think my main roadblock is that I want to dig straight into the most difficult parts at the start and am disheartened when I don't see results. I want to see a visually imposed tulpa and psychically hear her. I don't trust my mindvoice. It isn't very loud to begin with so a voice in my head wouldn't be much different as far as I know. Anyway, the wonderland started as just the living room in my old house. The living room had a fireplace and was connected to the dining room of the house. The living room was accessible straight from the front entrance. You would walk in and see stairs to the left going to the second floor. In front would be a mirror on a door that lead down a hallway that had the door to the basement. If you kept walking you'd find yourself in the kitchen.
If you went right from the front entrance you'd see the living room. I picture that in the far right end you'd see a large corner couch with an old T.V standing in front of it. If you can picture a television like this one from fallout, but the monitor is on a simple stand and has speakers on either side of the screen built into it. The screen you see would also be HD. To it's left would be a desk with a mirror for Sarah. To the left of that and in the corner would be a queen size bed. Across the room would be a computer desk with 3 monitors and a VR setup, because I imagine Sarah as a gamer. To it's left would be the fireplace. The fire would be lit and there would be two large red chairs next to each other facing the fireplace with a small table in between that has two fresh hot chocolate mugs ready. As I grew the home from a simple wonderland I pictured the basement as a sort of dream hub. Ideally most dreams I have would take place at this house somewhere. Any time I try teleporting and fail due to not thinking a location fast enough, etc, I'd like to return here. Any time I would cause myself to wake up early I'd like to return here instead.

The basement would take on an appearance very similar to the one from the old house. You'd go down the stairs, and on your right would be a door with a short staircase that leads to the exit through some large doors, as it used to be a shelter entered via that spot. To the right of that door was a small useless hiding area in case of storm. To the left and across the way would normally be a stack of papers and an old boiler, but in my dreams and as part of the dream hub instead there would be an additional room that would be located here. As you walk through the hallway and into this new room you'd notice it is all white. You stand on a platform with only a void below. There are many doors surrounded my a central console. Central console is just a glowing white orb, kinda like this but not. The doors again are just standard wood with glowing white inside. As I touch the central console I would create a new permanent realm in one of the doorways. I could then just walk through the doorway of my choosing, through a portal into a world of my creation. The world may have specific rules set upon creation. Some places may not have gravity, some may allow murder, etc. For the most part these realms would pause when I leave and start again when I return. If at any time I forget the realms they should have a name above the doorways and the central console can always give me the details on the portal at any time.

Also as a note the entire house would be located on a cloud. If I wanted to I could just go outside, sit on a porch swing and enjoy the breeze. I could also fly out and through the clouds and see where it takes me.

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 58 sec. Readability score: 67.



I am in an unknown location at about fifty percent lucidity, but with not as much vividness as in similar states.

The ambiguity of my physicality as perceived within the dream state becomes a representation of a moving vehicle. There is a vague association with my father driving the car (probably because I am a father now and am older), but there are several unknown people present.

The car drives by from right to left. A toolbox somehow flies out from the left side of the car, from the back, as if tossed, though it also seems as if it may have somehow slid out with the door being open as they sped off. It is not that big and is a matte gray color. It lands on the gravel. I am puzzled over this event.

---

I had been sleeping on my left side. A car is often a representation of the physical body in sleep as a form of vestibular system correlation. (In fact, the human body is even considered a “vehicle.”) The toolbox comes out from the left side, from the back, oriented towards the intent of the sleeping process. The association is with sleep as a healing process, though I am near waking, so the process is “disrupted.” The biology of the body is not under the control of the conscious will, which is what the reactive representation, in this case, is all about, as coming from the back seat.

---

Morning of August 11, 2018. Saturday.

Reading time: 22 sec. Readability score: 78.



Our youngest daughter is coloring in a picture on a cell phone, though I see it from my perspective (as if I am using the cell phone). It is a drawing of a Guinea pig that is facing left. (The setting is unknown, though undefined.)

After a short time, a mouse is atop the cell phone, its back feet hitting the keys (touchpad) and rapidly coloring in the picture, while oriented towards the bottom of the cell phone. There is a loud squeak. The mouse seems to have a cheerful human essence.

---

so after quite some time with no lucids and to lazy to do proper night work i kicked myself and wanted to do some totms so after around 5h of sleep i stood up even tho every fiber in my body was like "go back to sleep man.." but i stood up meditated for like 20-30 min and then back to bad on my back setting intention and goals then earplugs and eyemask because it was loud in the house and falling asleep.
3 LD was the result

-i am in the bathroom looking on a clock 11:45.... way to late, not possible and how can i read the clock anyways its dark. i do a nosepinch and lucid. i am happy, phase into the hallway. everything is super dark and the visuals are bad but i just start running and move my hands more than necessary and suddenly visuals are back. i remember instantly my goals to do the totms so i run to a building and enter thru a door expecting to be on the roof of a high building but i just enter the building i look for another door but i find an elevator. convenient i think and enter telling it to go up by voice command. i get out and find myself on a parking deck with a roof over me. i remember that i want to cross my eyes and so i do. it works immediately with no effort i also do it by look at a finger that comes closer to my nose but actually its not necessary. i run to the fence at the end of the building and look down. not as high as i hoped but good enough i jump down and try to be as passive as possible. i accelerate to the ground but i feel i should accelerate faster than i do, like i get slowed down for some reason... i crash into the concrete and its pretty loud but i dont feel any pain. i get up and continue i want to fly but i have some problems getting higher so i jump from level to level. wake up?
-i am somewhere on a party or in south america? i think of a girl i dont like to much i see another girl going around the corner [the evening before a friend wrote something about her] so i follow her i find her in a small dark room. i take her and we have a little sexy time. but after some time i get bored and i leave her behind. a voice from the off says something like " ah finally you learned it/managed to get detached from it"
-i show someone how i make fire in the hand. first a liquid arise in my hand and then i turn it on. but the fire is weak and blue. i pour some of the liquid on the ground and throw a fireball on it but not to much happen....
-i phase thru the ceilings a mix of flying and climbing and pushing thru, i find myself in some weird and colored rooms like for childs in a funny hospital or something? i try to fly in the room, i try different styles like ironman all is with not too much success. i look out for a jetpack it works shorty better but not good...i notice how i tense my body so i try to relax and concentrate on the goal where i want to get and not on the flying itself but i cant mange it...
-i find myself on a public open space. i go to a girl and ask her if she can help me with flying she smiles and starts flying. i follow her and tell her flying that i have problem with height and speed. she tells me this is a luxury problem and i shouldn't mind but i say that i want to get better and see progress. we loose each other?
- i phase into a bus? go to an older woman and with not too much words turn of her pants start rubbing her xxx and we have sex. i am positively surprised that her skin looks very young and elastic and her v... is mostly shaved expect a small part that is very short and white haired. we do it for some time but there is no climax
-i actually want to get up but seem to fall asleep again in dream i want to clean my ears because of the earplugs. my roommate is on a bridge above me. we talk and i get lucid again. i start flying and fly low again not the best experience. i pass two buidlings. in the first one i hear music like there will be a concert soon i go to the second one and phase in a guy seems to hear me and he "hunts" me in circles between the living and the bedroom after some time he goes opposite direction and catches me but i hold him and then just leave with no trouble. i meet my brother?/someone i know up front and i tell him in the first building will be a concert so we go there and climb in thru the window. the woman that sits in the back room hears us [in the moment i woke up i had the name celine dion in the head. i googled her and the looks fits]. i ask her about the concert and she says there will be none. okay sad... she seems to have eyes in the back of her head... the hair is cut short at that positions... its a little weird. i remember the bonus totm and try to expand my sight by crossing my eyes so they kind of turn to the sides and then to the back but i cant go much further than i can in waking life.... i ask her if she can make me eyes in the back of my head like she has. she says something about tattoos and that she needs something for it or later or something? she ask me which kind of eyes, just eyes or also eyebrows or make up or something?! in the end i dont get them and move a little more in the room before i wake up for good
-i ask a guy "if you should tell me something i shouldnt forget for sure, what would it be?" he answers "you should get yourself a fetish girl" aha i think... i go to another dude same question same answer...

Short lucid

Was at Jamie's house and she had some friends there. Found that boring but became lucid somehow. I wandered to a table to try time dilation. Started counting the spaces between my fingers with one eye closed left to right. everytime i went left again I had more fingers to count. by 20 20 the dream just faded out.

Fight

I remember chasing after Jamie after we had some huge fight of which or what about I don't remember. I finally caught up with her on some street, she eventually turned around and we both started apologizing. I gave her a hug and she felt so real. "I love you." I said to her then I woke up.

Secret room

Was in my inner world house. Somehow I had learned of a secret room in my house between some walls. I was in a kitchen part and looking at the walls trying to find it. I saw a vent there near the ceiling and tried to climb to it. I couldn't. A man was there, who I think was Data offered me a boost up. I went up and peered in the vent, there was nothing there but black. I told Data i couldn't get in. He lifted up the ceiling and I jumped down the other side.

Inside was what looked like a giant storage room with random boxes and clothes all over the place. I wonder if Asuka had stored things here herself. I just leafed through things until the dream was over.

Lucid

I found myself wandering a street lucid. There seemed to be no transition from the last dream. I wandered for a bit but things started getting darker. I remember Mzzck once made a lucid longer by trying to eat a tree. I didn't see no trees but I found a telephone pole and teleported to it and began trying to eat it. It did taste kind of like a tree and I did smell pine. The act engaged so many different senses it kept me in the dream.

After a bite or two I found myself wandering by a house that seemed familiar. I went into the driveway and decided to try time dilation again. I placed my hand on the ground. closed one eye and counted spaces between my fingers. Every time i went back left to right I had another hand. I managed to count to 40 before my vision began to distort too much so I Jumped up to escape the distortions. I didn't get very far, so I immediately tried again and flew up past the roof. I saw a woman get out of the house and i landed near her. I asked her if she knew where I could find Jamie and I said her last name. The woman said she did and would give me a ride.

We got into her car and I briefly wondered if I should bother wearing a seat belt in this dream. We pulled away and a few moments later she pulled over and a midget got into the car. That wasn't Jamie... So I waited longer.

Suddenly, a woman with long brown hair was suddenly sitting in the backseat out of nowhere. Looking back I'm positive it was Jamie. She startled me and also resembled S. I said she scared the shit out of me and why was she here ( i was still convinced she was S)? Jamie got mad and said she teleported in here to find me. Then she vanished either waking up or teleporting away. The woman's car stopped again and another midget got in. Flustered, I left the car.

I still wanted to look for Jamie even though she had just been there. I began walking across a field toward some plaza calling out her name where it looked like there was fast food and shops. But as I got closer the businesses changed and seemed further away.

Wound up going into some abandoned house. Went upstairs and looked around a bit. When I went back to the stairs a man wandered in followed by a weird creature trying to make itself look like an asian girl. I didn't walk but sort of hopped behind him. This freaked me out. So I teleported to the man and killed him with a knife I seemed to get out of nowhere. I turned to the creature and stabbed it's coat but the knife went through. It fell on the ground. I pulled off the coat and underneath was just a broom handle with a wooden head with fake hair. I wondered if the man was using magic to make it seem like he had a companion. My vision got all watery as it does when lucids end and so it ended.

Hypnagogia: a pair of hands pressed together as if in prayer, both skewered by a double pointed blade.

37/ 14th Lucid. In a van, I backed into a parking spot at the top of a tall waterfall. I slowly backed toward the cliff. “Stop, you’re going to fall!” someone yelled. In a split second my mind considered the situation and the location and I smiled. “It’s okay, this is a dream,” I told the worried onlookers. I backed over the cliff, slipped out of the van like I was a spirit, teleported to just above the ground below, then dropped back to earth. People at the base of the waterfall screamed as the van plumetted toward them. I glared up and thought, “Stop.” The van halted midair. It gently spiraled to the ground and settled onto its wheels. The crowd cheered and ran toward me.
I knew that they would distract me if I got involved so I ran and dove into a tree. I split into particles, filtered down into the roots, and dripped back into my body shape to drop through a dim space. (always creepy and cool when I dissintegrate) I landed on a flat and looked up. The clouds, if they were clouds, were tangled with all shapes and sizes of roots. I thought to sing to the sky but couldn’t remember the song. Instead I wandered the dim area looking for something to trigger my memory.

38/ Some friends invited me to their sci fi larp thing. They were dressed in silver outfits with silver weapons. An odd weapon was a huge silver cube that my one friend would climb into and run in. It looked awkward and floppy and I didn’t understand it. Partway to the larp area I got distracted by food. By time I was done eating and found my friends, the larp was done. They regailed me with the tales of their outerspace adventures.

woke at 4:43am. WBTB

39/ 15th LUCID. Just suddenly aware I was dreaming. It was hard to walk, my legs tingled as if asleep. I looked down to see no legs. Figured I must be feeling my sleeping real legs. I floated along, no longer human shaped. I yelled, “Dream?” just to ensure I had a voice. I really needed to know what I looked like so tried to split into two. I wanted to stand beside myself to see myself. During the stressful process of struggling to split, I woke.

40/ I helped two of my sisters shell dried corn. The buckets filled and there was corn left so I made a pouch of the bottom of my tshirt and let kernals fall into it. I slid into the crook of a tree root for more comfort. I was suddenly high in the tree, precariously balanced on a flat spot where someone had cut a tree branch off. It was a steep angle and I started sliding off. I didn’t want to spill the kernals and struggled to sit still while protecting the corn. “Hurry, go get baskets or buckets or something!” I yelled at my sisters. They went slowly and came back with a small bowl. I tried to pour the corn into it. The kernals went everywehre. Some were even picked up by the wind and scattered farther away.
I slid out of the tree and picked the kernals out of the grass. Not watching where I was backing into, I slid into a giant garbage hole. My sisters stood at the top and chatted about how best to save me. I slid deeper into the hole and at its bottom fell into a pool of frothy garbage water. I struggled to stay afloat. My sisters walked away. I slowly climbed out of the garbage hole, found my sisters, and yelled at them. They told me to go shower. I did. When finished I found out my sisters had driven away to avoid my anger. I set out after them on foot.