lucid

Morning of March 5, 2019. Tuesday.

Dream #: 19,069-04. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



I stand in the early afternoon in an unknown location directly facing the propeller of a small white airplane. The propeller moves a short distance counterclockwise, but then it seems like it had not. I try to determine if it had by concentrating on the scene. I do not see a pilot, as the windows reflect blue sky and white clouds with a gray hue.

I consider the essence of a slipstream, though mainly, since childhood, my modulation of the imaginary physicality of dreaming has been about balance or hovering to sustain and vivify a dream. I know there would have to be no imagined physical contact (despite ordinary wall mediation using phasing). I feel a sense of movement, but wake.

---

“Beautiful Sparkling Tornadoes” from this date was about phasing and slipstreams as well. It is the principal factor of dream entry and egress. (That dream had a fictitious author who wrote about unknown creatures coming through the slipstream to “threaten humanity,” though there was no threat to me.) I can assume (at an esoteric level) that a tornado is a primary vehicle of enigmatic space (when it models the virtual Merkaba), yet which I have modulated even in childhood with one of my favorite dreams of spinning a merry-go-round to counteract an oncoming tornado.

---

dream type: liminal modulation of imaginary physicality, supraliminal imaginary slipstream (virtual Merkaba)

---

Induction, dreaming, and waking processes stem from the same dynamics regardless of any personification or preconscious simulacrum. There is no vestibular system personification here, only me.

---

I left my body and immediately took a flight through window into night, to visit my soulmate. After about 2 kilometers of following the road about 20 meters above ground I got lost. The road took unexpected turn and went into a forest and up to very, but very tall hill. Obviously I didn't want to go there so I flew back till I reached the known place... and took direction to my soulmate again. And again the road took unexpected turn and I was again flying up the tall hill. It is not first time I ended there... in fact It had become regular problem in past two years... After a few retraces of my flight I got into point where I was unable to return to known place.
So I forcibly returned into my body. And restarted OBE. And took a flight to my soulmate again. To no avail... I again and again lost myself and was flying up the very tall unknown hill. After a few retraces of my flight I was again forced to return to my body and to leave it again to reset the surrounding.
I was flying again. This time I tried to apply the visualisation of my memories carefully... I pictured the road... I pictured the goal(there is characteristic rocky hill close to place where she lives)... I even saw it in that OBE. And I got again lost to that unknown hill place. I repeatedly tried to fly there, then to walk there... It was persistent. The surrounding changed in between the steps. It was frustrating. Yet I kept to repeat the attempt to get to her home. It took about 3 subjective hours till I was so tired that I lost consciousness and fell asleep.

Remarks
This had became an obsession for a few months now to me. Due to impossibility to reach that place I feel driven to find the way to that place.
That unknown place is very familiar to me in the astral. I get lost to that place often.

Had a dream it was my last day in high school. I didn't realize it was and I was the last student in the classroom with a male teacher. I told him that I had 'finally done it.'; that I had no more schooling left for the rest of my life. I leave the building and I realize I am dreaming. I stabilize the dream by looking at my hands, and everything becomes clearer. I try to summon a dream character but no dice. The dream ends not because it collapsed but because my alarm went off I needed to be awake.

I am in a kitchen with my elder sister vaguely wandering what it was that I was looking for. Considering the room I am in I conclude that I must have wanted to make myself something to eat but I can't recall what I wanted to have. On a nearby breadbox is half of a mince pie but I remind myself that I've made a point to not eat non-fish meat any more. I start hearing a whistling tune and recognize the source as my mother's pet cockatiel.
Turning a corner into a niche that houses a fridge I spot the bird sitting on a birdstand. He doesn't look all that healthy, missing feathers and having a greenish tint to his skin. As I am looking at the bird he starts doing drunken loop-de-loops and I worry that there is definately something wrong with the bird. The wrongness I'm sensing makes me ask my sister if I'm dreaming and she answers with an indifferent "no, you're not". When I look back at the bird he now looks perfectly fine. I don't trust my sister's answer so I move away from her to a different part of the kitchen so that I can practice some dream control.
I raise my right hand cupped, palm up and focus on creating a ball of light or fire but only manage to get a weak glow to hover over the surface of my palm. Thats not too impresive but I feel inspired to do something with it so I punch my left hand over my right, open-palmed while muttering "Atar-kum-nash-me". The glow disipates forward but produces no noticable results. Looking out of the window in the wall in front of me I get an urge to do some flying so I levitate myself off the ground and with my hands outstretched I phase right through the wall and into the air outside. I manage to stay airborn and count to three before the dream stops.

Tornado
I am outside with my father, on the way back to our home. We're already very close, just about 100 meters away from it. We see my mother for some reason doing something in an empty store, placing science equipment onto the counter in front of the window. My father says something which makes me suspicious that they might be gifting me the store as a workspace. While advancing closer to our home, I start debating in my mind if this could actually happen, which is quickly interrupted by my father telling me to look somewhere.

I look where he looks and we see a very, very dark cloud with lots of lightning. At first, we were both happy about this, but then, we suddenly see a very quick tornado zoom by, seemingly in random, chaotic patterns. We try to go back to my mother, but we apparently overshoot the target and end up in a shopping district about 600 meters from our home. I notice this and tell my father, so we turn around and again try to get to her. We go back a bit, then turn around again, before then again turning around. I asked my father which store she was in again, as I had forgotten because of my bad memory. My father said he doesn't know and we walk towards the house again. We then overshoot the target once again and end up in what was apparently a room in our flat. We're then suddenly at ground level in the house again, standing in front of the staircase to the higher floors and my father states something along the lines that we can't go outside again. I also knew it was too late to try to warn my mother.

A while later, my mother comes through the door, seemingly not having noticed the storm, nor the tornado. I come to my mother, suddenly standing a bit further outside, and tell her that there was a tornado here, before seeing it zoom by again, making me correct myself and making me point to it. She sarcastically states that that's absolutely amazing and we go inside.

Sudden (semi-)lucidity
I am standing in the bathroom, my mother ominously standing in the back of the room, behind the toilet. She seems to look up outside the skylight. She appears to say something which I don't remember but was just as creepy as the way that she was standing there. Suddenly, I become (semi-?)lucid and run over to my room right next to the bathroom. I pushed my chair to my computer table, before trying to change random things on my face to see if I could do it. It didn't work, and I tried remembering lucid dreaming articles about dream control. I then recalled you could, for example, drink something and imagine it was a potion that would change something. I felt a bit afraid of that because I wasn't entirely sure if this really was a dream. On my computer, a DreamViews page was opened, but before I could check it out, I woke up.

Short false awakening
I "woke up", looking outside the window to the clouds. Something felt unusual, but I don't know what.

Staircase
I am on the staircase to my home. There're some changes, and it resembles an older dream from the design. I walk up the narrow staircase, having to go through strange doors leading to homes, as well as things like hospitals. The first room I had gone through was empty and had no people in it, the second had a doctor talking through a procedure with the son of a woman who seemed to be a neighbor in the previous version of the dream. I listened to the conversation a bit, before trying to exit the room to continue up the stairs. I woke up before I could continue walking.

---

I'm not sure if the presumably lucid dream was actually that or just something else that I could mix up in retrospect. I seemed to be consciously in the dream, but I somehow didn't even think too much about anything else than what I had programmed into myself as what I first want to try to get a feel for lucid dreams, I didn't really think. Is that what a semi-lucid dream is?

I have stood out of my body and started to walk through my dark house. It was empty. I went to balcony, directly through the closed doors. There I levitated up on the railing. And then I jumped to fly away- I started to fall and somehow I returned back to the balcony. Standing on the railing I concentrated and jumped again. And I flew through the night. Everything was dark, yet I saw everything clearly. I was looking for somebody, anybody- to no avail the village was completely empty. I was walking from house to house disregarding walls. Nobody there. I decided to look for my friend, but got somehow lost in surrounding I didn't (and don't) recognize. A few times I felt to be sucked back to my body but I resisted that force. I didn't want to return so soon. I was walking through nature for subjective hours till I lost consciousness and asleep.

Remarks-
It was quite dull OBE, yet I like it even so, therefore I tried to stay there.
I'm getting lost into unknown environment quite often.
I need to train concentration much more.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

I pass through a small secondhand fair. One lady is annoyingly wanting me to buy a book collection from her. I get away and enter a war game simulation area. But it turns real pretty quickly, as soon as I realize the bullets shot are real ammunition. I pick a gun from a guy on the ground, presumably dead and I go upstream along a river. End up in a garden with people dancing. No war here. But I was followed by a guy that threatens everybody with a grenade. He arms it and throws it at me. I try that trick from the movies, of kicking it away. But then Rinpoche comes out of nowhere once again, catches it and after throwing me a defying look, throws it back at me. I feel like "Whaaaat?" and panic a little bit. But almost immediately realize, with my absolute trust in my guru, that this grenade represents no danger and that I can do whatever with it. So I hold it in my hands and try to turn it into a lotus flower. Unfortunately all I succeed in doing is turning it into sort of a flower made of rags. I feel disappointed, but then Rinpoche approaches me and turns these rags into a tent and invites me to step inside it with him.

With my parents having vacations in Brazil. We go to some festival which is in a semi rural and forested area in the outskirts of a little town. Soon after we arrived, we start seeing smoke from distant fires in the forest. We discuss how it might get dark sooner because of it. But we think we're safe. It seems very distant.
I see banners from locals supporting Bolsonaro and I feel angry. I make a nasty comment and some man hears and he's not happy. I tell him that I love Brazil and its people, but I just can't accept that man they chose for president. Later we're walking through a street with restaurants and I spot some curtains of a place, on fire. Then look around and also see some vegetation on fire. As I raise the alarm, we notice there are fires spreading a bit everywhere, from sparks coming through the air from far away. We decide to grab our things and leave this area before it gets serious. But general panic ensues and to make things worse, as we head to the car in the parking lot at the entrance of the venue, there are landslides and large boulders falling onto the road we're taking and people are getting blocked. For a while I lose my parents in the crowd, but soon after my mom appears. As we find a safe way out, she complains about the things I chose to bring on our backpack and I don't get why she is commenting that until I realize we can't go back to our tent to get most of our stuff that we left behind and I feel awful for that.

2019, 08-21

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

The End of Torture

I am in a dark place, I am spontaneously lucid. It looks like a dungeon dimly lit by torches. I follow a stone passage to a lit room at the end. I see a table with nails sticking up from it and a naked woman tied to it on her back. A man is straddling her, clearly relishing the pain it causes when he pushes her body into the nails. Three more men are standing around the table laughing. I walk into the room and tell them to release the woman immediately, calling the men sick monsters. They laugh at me, one says I’m next, just be patient. Another asks who I am. I say I’m their worst nightmare. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer style blade. That freaks them out. Two try to fight, the other two run. I cut them all down, they seem more like demons than men to me. I then cut the woman free. She is crying. I manifest a robe to put around her and I focus healing energy on her wounds.

The scene around me shifts, now I’m in a hot desert. The woman I rescued is still with me. There is a naked man tied out in the sun. He looks badly sunburned. Two more men are sitting under an umbrella drinking something. One gets up and walks to a berry bush on the other side of the tied man, deliberately stepping on him then going, “Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you there. Is it hot enough for you?” He laughed as he picked some berries then stepped on the man again on his way back. The tied man says he will tell the others anything they want to know. One of the others laughs and says they don’t want information, they just want to watch him die, nice and slow. I still have my Alex Mercer blade formed, so when one of the men looks over at me he first asks what the fuck am I, then he pulls a sword and both he and the other attack. I cut them down easily. I free the prisoner, give him a robe to cover with and use healing energy on his wounds.

The scene shifts again. The two people I have rescued are still with me. Now I see three men and two woman standing around a naked man tied to a spit and being roasted alive over a fire! There is a pan below the man that is collecting some kind of drippings, and one of the women laughs as she spoons the bubbling liquid over the man. What is with these sick people?! I give the sadists one chance to release the man peacefully and when they just laugh at me I quickly put an end to them and free the prisoner, giving him another robe and healing. My Alex Mercer blade is dripping with gore, I am a bit grossed out so I unform the blade. I am hoping not to need it again.

The next scene is with a naked woman tied up and seated on the pointed end of a triangular shaped bench thing, it looks very uncomfortable. The triangular tip is lined with rather long and rusty nails. There are weights tied to the woman’s ankles to increase the force pulling her down on those nails. A man dressed like a Stormcloak soldier is watching with rapt attention, drinking in the woman’s pain. When I give him his one chance to release the woman he gets mad and yells at me, saying he knows Ulfric wouldn’t approve but he doesn’t give a shit, this fort is his! This bitch refused to follow orders so now she pays the price! And if I try to snitch then I’ll be next! Since this seems to be a Skyrim world I fus the asshole. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies across the courtyard and hits a wall. The man looks shocked. He said there’s no way I could be the Dragonborn… the Dragonborn would never be such a wimp… When he attacks I incinerate him into a pile of ash with the fire breath shout… YOL-TOOR-SHUL! I free and heal the woman and give her a robe. There are now two men and two women that I have rescued. The scene shifts again, but then I wake up.

I was at my town hanging with my friend, then something pops in my head and i realize it's a dream, i go running to my grandmother's house and grab a biscuit. I take i bite out of it but it doesn't have any flavour, so i leave it.
I go out and try summoning a sword (I never knew how to do it), and when i turned around, there it was, but i was too anxious i left it there without almost even looking at it. Then i try to summon a friend of mine, but she escapes in a spider-man suit. (wtf) I know there was something after this, but i can't quite remember.

EXT. BORDER CROSSING - DAY FOR NIGHT

I'm traversing the little-known border between the eastern U.S. and Russia. In the distance I see Tsarist architecture with two statues of angels in a courtyard. Between the angels stands a statue I think might be Lenin with his standard outstretched arm, but I'm not quite close enough to make it out. Then I notice yellow traffic turtles on the pavement and other barriers and fear I may have strayed onto Russian territory without crossing the border legally, so I beat a hasty retreat.

Walking down a corridor I become lucid, close my eyes and ask to see the Lenin statue up close but nothing happens.

For this dream I tried to transform into a female friend of mine.

I was in a house that was not familiar. It was almost like a log cabin. Something ticked in my brain and I did a reality check. I made my way to the bathroom, and saw myself in the mirror. I thought of my lucid goal then went for it. I reached for the sink put some water in my hand then proclaimed "this magic potion will transform me into x". I saw and felt myself shrink down into her. It was a fairly fast process, that felt like a tingling. I shrank 10 inches in height, and lost 70 pounds. My clothing shifted into her black t-shirt and black jeans. I was my friend clothing and all in the mirror. I felt the weight of the long black shoulder blade length hair on my head. I felt the weight of having breasts on my chest. I then said to myself "whoah I am x"! Then I kept saying stuff in her voice which amused me. I decided I would walk around a bit, It felt so bizarre I had her hip sway and wiggle. I also had the the distinct feeling of having a really tight pair of panties on that cupped my crotch and undercarriage in a way that I never thought possible. It was almost like phantom limb between my legs. I walked around the house a bit then went outside, it was really bright and sunny. I walked down a sidewalk for a bit then woke up.

Lucid 1: pin this dream I believe all of my friends are travelling the world. I am walking in a very big store of sorts. And I see someone I know. I forget who it was. I do the same thing and everytime we're excited.

Eventually I see another close friend. Let's call her Jay. I'm super excited to see her. I run up to her and give her a hug. Her father who I'd just a random man I dont remember. Says he has a trick to show me. I don't remember it or know if he did anything.

The scene cuts, and I'm in some type of gym with all of the people I saw at the store. I forget what happens next. But at a certain point I become lucid.

I'm face down on the floor(I think this is the reason why, being face down on the floor gave me only a single thing to focus on, and in return I focus more on my body.) While I was on the floor I notice that I'm breathing out of my nose way too fluidly.

I do the nose pinch RC and become lucid.

In my head I was going damn i can't believe it.

I completely forget about what's going on around me and stop. I try to remember my goal. I actually do! I want to summon a dream guide for the first time.

I start walking. I see a pair of double doors. I walk through them and there's another room. I see another pair of doors and walk through them. I am in an identical room. I do this 3 more times until finally I'm in a different room.

I can see outside, it has glass doors. I walk in and I see a DC setting down groceries, there's a very big pile of them. I decide I want to try and wat a cupcake. I've wanted to eat something in a LD for a while now.

I take it and exit the school. The scenery was normal but at least it didnt have an empty feeling like the last LD.

As I am walking I come across a hill. For some reason I want to summon a school.

I turn around and say "there's a school behind me." I just knew there was. It felt natural.

I turn around once more. And there's the school. Too bad it's super small. I was sure that only one person can fit inside. It was also a very old fashioned school. I try to increase the size and it only slightly works.

Eventually I just forget about the school and start walking down a street. I'm pretty sure I'm not lucid at this point.

There are people hitting these sandy objects. As I get to the end of the street I see a boy holding a two slimmed carrot. I forget the test.

This lucid dream was also very boring. But there's teo great things. First is that I remembered my goal, secondly my lucid dreams seem to be getting more frequent and detailed. My guess is that they're boring because I'm getting a lot less sleep.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


On vacation with friends. They go hike up a mountain. I was also planning to go, but I miss it for some reason. Look at it from a distance. Don't want to give up. I find some Asian group renting a transport to go there and I go with them.
With my friends on top of mountain, there is an earthquake, we head for some type of railcar that goes downhill. But half way we see a river of lava flowing to our right side and crossing the rails a bit ahead of us. At that time some kids in very primitive clothing come out from the jungle around us and signal a stone platform where it is safe for us to jump to. When we are safe we follow them into the jungle. They never speak and when we try to talk to them, they get silently angry. They live in a small village and welcome us into different houses. The whole town is silent and soon we learn why. The forest is filled with dinosaurs and they keep this place secret by staying silent, since the dinosaurs don't naturally wander into this place except they know they're there.

With friends at a table. On another table is Rinpoche with other people. One of them comes tell me to go to that table and meet Julie A.. I get up and realize I am topless, but I just use my long hair to cover my breast. When I am there I can't even see Rinpoche properly as he is surrounded by so many people. But Julie hands me a kind of cornucopia shaped tube with something written on it. Some note telling me to take what's inside. But it is empty! Except when I go back to my table, when magically it becomes heavy and filled with some liquid that I almost completely spill - manage to drink a bit. Then some sort of biscuits appear and I eat a few. Seems dog food. I offer the rest to a dude passing by walking a bunch of dogs, for the benefit of the dogs. Then I try to read what else is written on the tube, but it becomes nonsensical and each time I read it, it changes. Then I remember it might be because I am dreaming, I get lucid but unfortunately I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Attending Rinpoche's teachings but I am extremely sleepy. At some point I even get up and take a break. When I come back Rinpoche is gone.
The teachings are followed by nightly entertainment. Some girl comes to me with silly talk and I yell at her that all that is total bullshit, but I am not angry, more like amused with whatever she said. We see a pretty light display in the sky. Laser projections of a spaceship flying among planets and other cute things. The display is attracting people uphill through a dirt road. it is very dark, no electric lights. Then the path ends at some kind of three walled dead end with soviet movies being projected on the wall. It's cool, until a huge number of people keep coming uphill and pushing the ones already at the dead end. People start to panic, feeling claustrophobic, pushing each other. I feel panic too but I believe there is some door somewhere and after a while I find a door at the corner to my left. We open it and people start exiting with relief. Outside is actually an inside of a venue and there are people looking at the panel with info by the door, about the exhibition we just came from. They want to come in, but we tell them not to, that people are actually needing to get out from there.

Morning and people are departing on different buses. I am on a bus already leaving and see some familiar faces outside, sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a different bus. I see monks leaving the venue in another direction. Then I get lucid and get rid of the backpack I have on my lap. Accidentally, I hit a lady on her head with it, but I realize that if I don't care because she is a dream character, she will not react. And surely she doesn't. I get up from my sit and simply get through the glass window, but don't fly away. Instead I hang in the there, in the window frame, feeling the wind and enjoying the landscape. The bus is crossing a very high bridge and it's very vertiginous, but I like it. I make the bus go steeply up and down like a roller-coaster just for fun. The other passengers don't seem very please, but I keep reminding that they aren't real. Then the bus passes by a Bullfighting museum and I get the impression we are in Spain. I get out of the bus and get in the museum and start trashing it all using only telekinesis and chi blasts. It's very satisfying. Especially seeing the visitors of such dreadful place being blasted away. As I go deeper into this place, I pass some kind of patio with really beautiful stone floor, but the stones are very uneven and I am barefoot. I make some shoes appear on my feet and go deeper. Pass to a weirder area of this building, sort of descending to its catacombs and it gets sinister.[/COLOR] Most rooms I avoid, as they look familiar and I sense very creepy energy in them. Then I see a long staircase descending deep into the earth. The stairs and the walls look very organic. I sense danger too, but do not feel so much fear. I am attacķed by a dragon coming from the depths. I find some knight armors and other stuff lying around and I think I kill the dragon. Some weird creature, like an elf appears and says because I killed the dragon I am the heir of some saint or knight that fought dragons.
Then I find an exit to outside and I am at a train station, clearly at some Mediterranean town. Very pitoresque, very peaceful, very soothing. The weather is extremely nice but very cloudy. The clouds are luminous and the air is very light. I feel like singing and dancing and without any agenda, I just make love with the air and everything around me. I think of the guru and feel that he is all around me.

I entered the dream after short relaxation and concentration... I found myself on sun lighted meadow in between green hills. Seeing nothing interesting nearby, I looked up into deep blue sky with a few clouds... And I decided to experience a spaceflight.
I accelerated directly up to the sky and for a while I flew up... the sky got very dark... but I lost concentration and found myself slowly descending, unable to rise the height. So I concentrated again while getting more into unattached observer state. Immediately I accelerated out of the atmosphere and in a few seconds I passed the moon in close distance. Soon my acceleration brought me over speed of light and streaks of star light were getting longer and longer. A HUD appeared in my view and it showed some information about close star systems. One of them had 4 habitable bodies. I decelerated when I was close. There were two habitable planets and two large, slowly rotating spacestations.
I flew into one spacestation phasing through closed airlock. I got interesting view on the inside of cylinder where normally looking country was curving around insides of it. Just like O'Neill cylinder is described often. But there was nobody inside, no animals, only grass, trees, water... And some houses. I went inside of one house- it too was empty. Fully equipped modern house. I found food storage there. Sorted fresh fruits were there. I took one big plum(double size as common plum) and I had eaten it. It had very interesting flavour... Partially like plum, to lesser extend like apple an orange. I wanted to try different plum but I found myself in the bed at once. My wife laid next to me waking me up in the process.