non-lucid

NOTES

[I]This was a very long dream, but I only remember fragments.[/I]

Being in a ski lift...

riding a gondola through a huge valley...

I shout, "I LOVE EUROPEANS!"

Angel is with me...

Venice

Finally got lucid tonight! WBTB certainly is a miracle technique.

Last night I had a terrible time trying to sleep because I'm currently out of town staying in a hotel with my family. As such, I'm sharing a bed at the moment with my eleven-year-old brother, and he's quite...active when he sleeps. So I really didn't fall asleep very hard until he'd gotten out of bed.

Once I was asleep I know I was at a friend's house. He's the same friend from my first dream journal who sells weed, but this dream had nothing to do with that. I was staying at his house, which was unusual because I've never done that before, and I think he really needed me to leave (along with many other people who were also there) because either his parents were home and didn't want us there or they were going to be home very soon and wouldn't like that we were there. Either way, that's all I remember of that.

The only thing I remember of the dream after that is grabbing my ex-girlfriend by the sides of her face for some reason.

After that I was definitely walking through some very deep snow, and I was with a couple people, but they weren't anyone I know. I don't really know where we were going or what we were doing, but there were some very definite distances ingrained in my head for some reason (25 being one of them, but because I didn't think of any units I don't know if that was 25 feet, 25 meters, 25 miles...it was just 25). Whoever I was with wanted to return to wherever we'd come from, and I followed suit. That's probably about when my brother got out of bed and I was able to really fall asleep.

Before that though, my mother woke me up, so I was awake for a while. I was in sort of a vague sleep for a while, one where, if I tried to, I could easily shake myself awake, but I didn't want to because I was trying to visualize. I tried to visualize my dream guide from last night, the cat with the wizard's hat on, and it actually worked. I pictured myself in the same clearing with the same brick laid beneath me as when I met him last night, and he was suddenly there. We started walking through the forest that surrounded us and I think we were talking about a task he had for me to do. Eventually we came upon a house in which he said was someone whose dreams I had to infiltrate. Somehow this was supposed to increase my ability to control my own dreams, but I wasn't sure how. Either way, I trusted him, and I climbed the hill next to the house and dropped in through a hole in the roof. What I came upon inside wasn't another person, but actually myself. A direct copy of me. I think we talked a little, but I don't remember what was said, because soon after we broke into a fistfight. It wasn't a particularly drawn out fight, and eventually I pinned my other self on the ground and punched him in the face a few times. It was then that I understood: My dream guide was having me break into my own mind, break through my own mental blocks in order to achieve lucidity. So I gave my other self a headbutt and felt myself literally melt into him. Our dreams became one, and I fell deeper into the dream.

The next thing I remember is being with the character Banjo from the N64 game Banjo-Kazooie, if any of you are familiar with that. We were in somewhat of a secret corridor I guess, and we were trying to figure out how to get into the next room without alerting the guards. I immediately realized Banjo could shoot eggs from his mouth (even though Kazooie is the one who can in the games) and for some reason thought that if I squeezed one of Banjo's boobs (which he doesn't have, because he's a dude) it would shoot the eggs out. So we were trying to aim at the guards and were preparing to shoot when we both realized that Kazooie, Banjo's bird friend, was in the next room anyway and could probably take care of the guards herself. So I continued on, but Banjo didn't follow me.

I found myself at the top of a fairly long staircase. At the bottom was my girlfriend, and I ran down to see her. She was evidently upset because she was at an orientation of sorts for a biology class that she was going to take and she thought it was stupid I guess. We were in a dark room. I remember seeing another young lady whom I recognized from high school, but I don't remember who it was. I think her boyfriend was there too but I don't exactly remember...regardless, I eventually found myself sitting in a nice cushy chair when my old physics teacher came in, saying that he was the one that was giving the orientation because Mrs. Hoikka, the actual teacher of the class, wasn't able to make it, and since he also had experience teaching biology she had asked him to cover. I think I stood up at that point and that's about when I realized I had induced this dream myself. I had a brief conversation with him. I think he was talking about some of his gripes with the government for some reason, probably in relation to state benchmarks that he was required to teach that he didn't think were necessarily important. I achieved a growing level of lucidity as the conversation progressed, and eventually I started to feel the dream breakdown. I tried to think of how to stabilize it, remembering that spinning in circles was supposed to help keep things intact, but I remember thinking that that would probably seem weird to my teacher, so I didn't try it. Unfortunately I should have, because the dream broke down completely after that and I woke up.

Regardless, I finally attained lucidity, so I'm happy about that.

Fragments:

1. Matt shows me Merzbow.
2. Something about LL Cool J being a psycho.

I'm really pretty unsure if both of these were actually dream fragments, or if they were actually just an imagination trip. I suppose one blends into the other when it comes to dreams, eh?

A Stroll in Chicago

I'm walking the streets of "Chicago" (actually, Lafayette, near Matt's neighborhood) with Jasmyn and Micah. Eventually, the police give us a phone call about giving rides. Some old guy talks about that.

I really wish I remembered this dream better, but it was in my first sleeping period of the night. I honestly don't remember the police phone call or the old guy very much at all. I just remember where we were walking.

Mall to Steven's to Party

I'm walking through an alternate version of the mall that has a clearance sale of arcade games and stuff. There's actually a Mega Man skeeball game (maybe a Sonic one, too?). Around this time, I find myself in Steven's apartment. I'm analyzing a particular glowing green pattern of lines. I'm attracted to Ashley, who happens to be there as well. Over time, the room changes (though I still believe this to be the same dream). I'm hanging around drinking vodka with Lance, at least two guys and two girls. A girl admires me while I drink the vodka. I get pretty heavily drunk and sit there. Someone tells me to wait it out. I notice that a guy and girl are fucking on this object (either a cooler or a small table). After this, the other guy takes over with the girl. They have stand-up sex while she lowers herself onto his penis. Eventually, I find myself in her place (and Lance in his), with Lance's dick sliding into my ass. He fucks me standing up (I'm pretty much oblivious and drunk) and he lets out a load moan as he comes. I tell him he should be more quiet, since my parents are around. We decide to leave the party discreetly. We're stopped briefly by my mom, who seems to slightly suspect something. We walk around what in reality is Matt's neighborhood. I'm a little worried about driving drunk, but we get in the car anyway. I reflect that I've heard alcohol suppresses REM sleep, and I hope I'll still remember the dreams I'll have tonight.

Damn it! That last thought should've been a dead giveaway. Anyway, this dream was pretty interesting, as there were a number of spontaneous scene changes, though aspects of the dream remained constant. The part where I was staring at the green line pattern was very abstract. For some reason, I felt it had some connection with directions on a map (as in, the line between Point A and Point B on Google Maps), but the pattern kept changing, sometimes even becoming dashed or incomplete.

When I woke up this morning, I really didn't remember any aspects of my dreams at all, but I followed some advice I'd heard and just laid there for a while. From minute to minute, I would remember new aspects of the dreams (especially the latter one), and I'd jot down keywords. In this way, I basically reconstructed the second dream entirely from memory, when no conscious memory existed to begin with.

1. I'm going to a weird school where every day, we have physics class on the moon. I keep floating during the lecture while everyone else manages to remain seated. Eventually, I have to be stuck in a brick structure in the closet just so I can stay on the floor during class. When class is over, I have to walk through the hallways where the school's enormous marching band is lined up on either side with ridiculously fancy diamond-encrusted instruments. During one of the classes, I figure out that I can sort of fly (well, more like gliding) given a place to jump from, and that I tend to notice things the other students don't.

2. I go missing from one of the classes, and it turns out I've gotten aboard a ship in another star system where somebody had set up a bunch of explosives. I deactivate the bombs and return to Earth with the ship, which somehow doubles as a cruise ship when it lands in water.

In light of the rescue, the physics professor decides to give special rings to people in the class who have powers (even if it's just the power of observation) and tells us to be careful with them. At this point, we're starting to resemble a rag-tag bunch of DC characters - we've got a Superman, a couple of Green Lanterns, a Robin, and a few others I don't recall. I wind up being Batman, even though I'm constantly commenting on the fact that Batman can't fly.

3. Our improvised Justice League is wandering around a bookstore. Robin is holding hands with one of the Green Lanterns, and I can't help but note how cute it was. On the top floor of the bookstore, there's a guy who wants to be a Star Sapphire for some reason, even though that's a females-only corps.

4. One of the guys is upset that he wasn't picked for the League. He tries to find the bookstore again, but all he ends up doing is flying around and knocking parts off of assorted buildings because he's too big and he's not paying attention to where he's going.

5. I'm staying over at my friends' apartment where you need a key card from a nearby hotel in order to get Internet access. I decide to go out on the town and have a five-part chocolate cake dessert. Each of the parts has a different unusual flavoring (rosemary-ginger, blood and plums, sour cherries, and so on) and is served in a wine glass. Then I end up drinking something that disorients me, and finding my way back to the apartment is difficult. When I get back, I take a bath, but my towel falls into the bathwater and gets soaked.

Dreamed about army. Planning for something.

Dreamed about the ocean and psychiatrist. Deep ocean and I was on a body board. I managed to get back onto the beach and then there was some girl. There were some weird things with stuff about Dexter and being a serial killer. I think then there were 2 girls and one trapped the other in a cage or something.

Dreamed about fighting, BFBC2 style. I laid down to pretend I was dead. I was also trying to shoot someone at one point.

Dreamed about lining up for food outside somewhere, like a baseball park
then later inside in a canteen

Dreamed about buying a cricket bat and ball, and some people pushing something on this weird 3 wheel type of trolley thing.
It was in a school field or something and I wanted to hit someone else.

I dreamed about being a building, there was dinner, Andy was there. Something about cats and bee's outside. Like this hotel had dressed up pet cats. And mice, one of which got eaten.

Dreamed about Ruchi and me in a hot tub next to a pool. Then other people joined and we couldn't do anything.

03.08.2010

Three Dreams (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

1. I was downstairs with my friend Casey. He told me we were going to Wildwood, and I said I never been there before. He was shocked, but I told him since I live by Six Flags, and Atlantic City is closer, there is no need for it. I went upstairs, and my aunt, uncle, and two cousins were apparently coming with us. I had to use the bathroom, so I walked into the living room. I realized everyone can see me! I put up gates, but that still did not work.

Then I realized, this is not the bathroom. I told everyone the living room is not a bathroom, and they all were shocked! Instead, I waited for my sister to get out of the bathroom. Then I let my little cousin go in before me. The dream ended.

2. My sister and I were backstage for America's Got Talent. It was still the quarterfinals, and the curtains were actually closed most of the time, so we couldn't see the acts. I remember some Indian was playing with fire, then she was able to lift a dog up after he jumped on the tip of a pan handle. The judges didn't really like it because "too much was going on". When we were back stage, I went to the bathroom, but I forgot to flush. Nick Cannon asked if I was just in there, and I lied and said no. The next act I remember was Rudi, and he was able to move with only his butt. It was really epic and odd.

3. It was something sexual. That is all I remember.

02.08.2010

My Cousin's Monkey? (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I tried to obtain sleep paralysis, but my mind was wandering too much while I tried to count. I had two really vivid dreams when I fell back asleep.

I was looking out the back door to my house, and the sky was an extremely dark blue. Well, it was more of a navy color. There were no clouds, and I think the sun was really bright. I looked at my plants, and they needed to be watered. I was a little surprised, because my pitcher plant and venus fly trap were huge! I ignored it, and went into the kitchen. I think someone was complaining about how my cousin, Luke,'s monkey had no room in his room.

The monkey appeared on me, and it was a cute, small one. It never gets larger than the size it was at. I walked into the dining room, and said that we can put a wall around a certain part to make a little room for the monkey. I figured it would cost too much, but the monkey liked the idea. We went into my sister's room, which happened to be Luke's room now. My sister's room was next to his.

I looked at the shelves, and thought of an idea. I told him about how the monkey needed some room, and he agreed. I told him we can clear everything off the top two shelves, and then remove the highest shelf. There, he can put whatever he wanted for the monkey (it actually was a lot of room for the monkey). He agreed.

He then texted his friend, Courtney, the idea. I think she didn't like it, but he said it needed to be done.

Another night another entry.

I come into my dream and I'm taking care of a few dogs in some house. A corgi puppy that's chilling out in a big cage sorta like the one my cats live in and a dog from my childhood. I go outside and there are people walking around. I don't know why but every pregnant woman in the city is congregating on the hospitals for some reason. I can't remember why. For some reason I go outside and somehow run into a small group of people. I can't remember what/who/where they're going/why but I decide to join up with them. Behind us some pregnant girl seems to be trailing us. But then some guy, who looks kinda like Adam Morrison, comes striding down the street and confronts this one woman and pretty much tells her she's not pregnant enough to waste the hospitals time (I think he means: she's not far enough along in her pregnancy) and the woman freaks out. He tells her that "she's more drunk, sober, than with alcohol in her." And she calls him a pretty derogatory sentence about how he's just a big mexican. She goes marching off again obviously upset.

I also woke up in the middle of the night from my previous dream and decided to try to WILD. So I lay perfectly still and repeated my mantra to myself: "I will fall asleep and then begin to lucid dream." I don't know how long I did this, awhile I think, and then my entire body started to tingle and my heart started racing. I was too full of energy/nerves and I couldn't stay like that for too long so I moved and woke myself up. Was that sleep paralysis?

Last night I dreamed that I read on Gawker about flatworms infecting people's brains in NYC subways. There was a picture of the back of some bald guy's head, and a reddened, irritated vein leading to a starburst of smaller reddened veins, like an infection site. There was also a diagram of how the worms travel through your brain, and the worms looked a lot like zerg drones in Starcraft 2.

Later, I was walking through old, dank subway tunnels, and sending out drones to harvest resources (which they basically did by eating poo). I remember saying to someone walking with me, "I guess it doesn't matter if my worms get worms."

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Remembered two dreams tonight! One fully, one almost fully and had a dream fragment floating around my head when I woke up. Also dreams where in first person. Could vitamin B12 be related? Will switch to B6 at end of week and note any distinct changes

I vaguely remember my rat Stu being very bitey even though hes never bitten anyone in real life

The Train

For some reason I was having to babysit J in MB's flat. He had to take the train somewhere and so me and J decided to search his flat. We ended up finding a stack of leather bound magazine size books hed written about various regions hed created on the computer game "dwarf fortress".

J wanted to take the train for some reason so i took her and we got on the train. We werent going anywhere particular so I was planning to just get the train back soon. Someone shouted this was my stop so me and J got off and on the bottom of the station was the person who told us it was our stop. It was some girl who thought she was my friend but id never seen before.

We got the train back and on it met up with P, I think JW was also on the train.

On the train I told P that it was OK that he wasnt very tall as someone i read about didnt have a growth spurt till they where 15. I also told him I was proud of him for not picking on younger kids and he told me he was changing schools to burton. I think thats where this dream ended


The Pool and the wheelchairs

Me, my Grandad and writer, journalist and broadcaster Andrew Collins (WTF?) were going on holiday together. Our room seemed to be a large warehouse with a swimming pool in the middle. Andrew Collins somehow got red paint on his feet and went for a swim. This caused the manager (a 30 something blonde woman) to have a massive go at us. After that I somehow stole two of those old people scooters for me and my grandad. The manager saw me and was angry so we pretended my grandad had a terminal illness called a "bookcase" in his spine that rendered him paralysed and would soon kill him. This meant I had got a scooter so we could go around together.

She said OK but if she found out we were lying we would have nine seconds before we were kicked out. She turned to leave and my grandad started getting up when she turned around so i distracted her while he sat back down. She then left and my grandad stood back up. I then so a close up of a cctv camera and new wed been caught. I saw a countdown from nine and footage of naked ladies swimming round the pool with red pain sponges, Andrew Collins thought it was footage of him but i explained the manager had faked footage of us having a weird party to ensure wed be kicked out. When the countdown reached 0 i woke up

PART 1 - RICH FAMILY PIANO VISIT

I'm visiting some rich, "upper class" family. I don't know how I know them.

There is a mother - 50s, slim, narrow face, short brown cropped hair, well mannered but stern, a cold personality... and a daughter, who looks like someone I very vaguely know IRL.

The house seems to be based on two locations from my past, one from my childhood and one my father's current home. Kind of both at once, as dreams often seem to weirdly do.

I practice on their piano (in the kitchen area from my childhood house)... meanwhile in the next room, the mother is teaching the daughter piano (living room, right across - where there used to actually be a piano IRL).

At one point I crawl into the room toward the corner opposite from them (there is no other furniture other than the piano), where there is a picture of the daughter leaning against the wall on the floor. I "fix" the tilt of the picture. As I do, I'm more or less staring at the daughter. She pretends not to notice.

As I'm crawling back out, I realize that I was staring and that it must have seemed creepy, and think to myself that I should completely ignore the daughter for a while to compensate.

After a while the mother comes in and asks how I'm doing. I pick up on the subtext that it's time for me to go, and say that I was actually just about to head out.

As I'm leaving I notice I'm wearing a bulky green-ish jacket I've borrowed from them. I hesitate, wondering if they'll ask for it back, but suppose they let me keep it for now as it's raining outside.

I think the original reason I borrowed it had something to do with what took place before I arrived, some sense of danger, but can't remember. I remember something about playing in an orchestra...

On my way out (now based on my father's current home), where there is usually a closet by the front door, I notice it's a door into an entire room that is in fact a giant checkers board, with giant checkers pieces to play with and everything.

ANALYSIS

Piano is one of several arts I've been considering to spend my time on while not working on my meditation project, so I'm sure that association is primed in my mind.

Crawling into the room... this could certainly symbolize submitting to their "higher status."

Fixing the tilt of the picture... this could mean trying to improve her self image, perhaps repair damage done by the harsh mother figure.

The checkers room... this could refer to decadence, extravagance, this rich family having a whole room just for checkers.

-----

PART 2 - RAP ALBUM G

I'm talking to my IRL friend G about releasing a rap album. I say that I'm not super motivated to release one at this point, otherwise I would be "working my contacts," that it's "just a hobby right now."

ANALYSIS

Perhaps trying to qualify myself, essentially trying to prove, "I could if I wanted to."

Recently my sleeping pattern has changed for some reason. Before, I was never tired before 3 am and I would often not get tired until as late as 5 or 6. When I slept I often woke up after a dream, letting me write it down to remember it. This could happen several times a night. Now however I get tired at 11 or 12 pm and I get to sleep about 1-2 hours later. I don't wake up after dreams anymore but the last three or four days I have been waking up at ~9 am, remembering dreams but too lazy to get up or write them down. Then I fall asleep again after quite a long time. About one or two hours after this I get up.

Last nights dream:
I was bathing in nydala with some friends. I can't really recall how many we were but Fred was there at least. Suddenly, Kim showed up, lol. I don't know how she appeared. We all got surprised and asked her to join us for some event that was being held at my family's summer house. We swam there and we talked about a swimming technique that consisted of lying on the back while wriggling like a snake kinda. xD It was extremely fast but you could easily lose control and be forced below the surface. We all tried to use it and eventually we got to the summerhouse.

The event was some kind of gathering of random people that did planned stuff. Like some arranged party or something. Most of the people were foreigners. Kim proposed that we all should play some ball game, then she said something to a random dude in fluent german, lol. Everybody (maybe 15 people) lined up for the game in two separate rows facing each other. I think the goal of the game was to throw the ball to each other i between the rows or something.

Before the game started, a arabic looking man came out from the summer house. He was the chef and requested that three volunteers would go and help him prepare the dinner. No one seemed keen to do it because everyone wanted to play the ball game. Then he decided that he should pick three randomly. I knew before that he was going to pick me and I felt a bit disappointed because of it. He did indeed pick me and I went with him to the front porch along with two other randoms that also were unlucky.

We sat down around a table for four people and started to eat dinner (what happened with preparing it? xD). I remember that my friends were all seated at other tables and I wanted to join them, but I was not allowed to. Instead I spoke a bit with the chef guy who looked arabic. The only thing I remember from the conversation is that I asked him what country he came from. Apparently he came from the country "hentai", lol. I recall that I noticed that he expected me to laugh or something, but I didn't because I knew that hentai was also a country and the guy was somewhat impressed that I knew that.

Well, this was a rather interesting dream. For the second night in a row, I was driving in a vehicle. The dream started off on some sort of downwards sloped, dry grassy hill. At this point, I either hopped into, or was placed into (I can't remember which) some sort of short, yellow, semi-fortified vehicle, which reminded me of a smaller, flatter tractor. Once inside, however, it just felt like a normal car. At this point, I started driving up a dirt road, which then led onto a highway, with cars going both directions (i.e., up the hill, and down the hill). It wasn't a winding hill, as such, it was a hill that went straight up, and then followed around a bend. The road for the main part of the hill was a bitchumen road, and the dirt road I was driving on continued upwards, splitting from the bitchumen road, but staying next to it (only difference being that it was rising). At this point, I chose the bitchumen path, which was a wise decision, as tornadoes started to come down the dirt road, from higher up the hill. The majority of them passed by me with little effect, though some of them started to pull on my car quite strongly. I think I recall one of them nearly pulling the car off the road, though I'm not entirely sure. My memory is blank until the next event:

This is a bit vague, but I recall being back on the original grassy hill again. My cousin was there, and I think there was some sort of watchtower. He was also in a vehicle, though the seemed much smaller now - kind of like vehicles that you could wear around your waist, but still drive. I don't recall much more, except that there was a third person there, and my cousin was at one point significantly taller than I was (in his vehicle), and there were spiders dropping off him and onto the ground, and onto me - possibly biting me, but I'm not sure. It was at this point that the mild panic and fear caused me to wake up in quite a groggy state.

This put the following idea into my mind - breathing based Reality Checks. Breathing is obviously one of those muscles that are both involuntary, or voluntarily controlled. This led me to think, if you're in a dream, chances are, you aren't thinking about your breathing, therefore it's involuntarily controlled, and most likely synced to your real breathing. I thought, perhaps as part of my regular Reality Checks, I could incorporate breathing into it, and think "Is the type of breathing I'm doing about right for the situation I'm in?", with the thought that if I have an adrenaline fuelled dream like this again (tornadoes would be quite scary in real life), that in my dream I may think - "Hey, there's Tornadoes, maybe I should be breathing a little bit quicker?", in the hope of realising I'm dreaming, and then turning lucid.

I was in my house (well, the house was mine in the dream, but not the same as mine in real life). There was one lowered section, where I was, and one raised section, where all the sleeping people were (Mum and Dad specifically). I think it was about 2am. I decided to drive to go eat some pie. I snuck out the house, and went for the drive. It was the first dream I recall having at night time, so that was quite interesting. I drove down the road near my house with the speed bumps, but there were too many people turning left onto the main road, so I went back around the block, and turned left at a different location. I turned in front of a large truck, and had to accelerate quite quickly to avoid it. I don't recall if I ever made it to the pie shop, because the next thing I knew I was back inside, and my Mum was scolding me about needing to book the car in some sort of online form and seek prior permission before taking it out at night. I was being scolded by a post-it-note, rather than in person.

*May recall something about driving near my old school at this point, but don't know specifically*

Emotions Felt:

• Fear (at being caught)
• Excitement (about the pie)
• Frustration (upon waking, at not recognising the weirdness of the dream, and then turning lucid)

Some of my day themes crept into my dream last night. I dreamt that my VPS provider, Linode, had started offering smaller plans for lesser cost (including 78MB of RAM as the smallest). I decided to go for a walk to find their main office, and sign up there (somehow signing up on the web wasn't an option in the dream). I went for a walk, and as it turned out, they had multiple offices along the street - the street was like one out of a "Rocky" movie, where all the houses are kind of similar to apartments, and have stairs going up to their doors. The first office I went into had 3 people lying down on green, flat, dentist chairs. They were being injected with a liquid that put them into a sleep, slowed their perception of reality down by 70 times, and allowed them to recognise that they were dreaming. Effectively, because they were put under for 1 hour, they were being given 70 hour lucid dreams. Once they fell asleep, they had some sort of goggles put over their eyes to increase their visualisation ability. After I saw this, I walked out the building and continued down the street to try and find their main office. I don't think I ever found it. When I walked back past the other building, there were people coming out of it throwing up, presumably as a side effect of the injection. This is all I remember.

Emotions

• None

Setting/Scenario/Atmosphere

• Autumn
• Cool/warm wind (as an emotional feeling/knowing, rather than directly feeling)
• Leaves blowing
• Quiet street
• Mid arvo/early evening (low soft sun)