non-lucid

Morning of August 17, 1980. Sunday. (Last clarified and resupplemented on Friday, 1 September 2017.)



The myth: “You cannot snore and dream at the same time.” This is one of those virtually endless bits of disinformation that one sees in various lists about dreams (and in most cases the entire list is untrue, including those related to “interpretation” by “experts”, as well as the superstitious “black cats crossing a person’s path“ mentality). I do not know who came up with this mindless concept or how it spread, but there have been many times in my life when I was snoring and dreaming at the same time, which includes the following entry.

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I am doing a news report that includes a celebrity interview (apparently with Rod Stewart, though he never makes an appearance), using a black generic microphone with a long cord (the cord going into the back of a white van), similar to the one I use in real life to record affirmations (though I am not using a cassette tape for any type of scripted dreaming in this case). At times, my microphone is making a sort of buzzing “snoring” sound. A few times, I move and swing the cord around to see if a short is causing the sound.

I walk around in the parking lot and it seems to be late morning. I am to ask the singer about the different classic cars he owned. The parking lot is full of his cars, mainly from the 1940s to the present. As I walk near one of the cars, I hear that it had been left running and the engine also makes a sort of unusual snoring sound. I consider asking him when I see him if he is aware that the car had been running. There are several others around at first, all unfamiliar males, but a few are from the radio station I am supposedly working for.

Eventually, a black bear comes onto the scene and my team and I need to escape. It also seems to be making a snoring sound, though it is implied to be growling as such.

I decide to quickly climb down over a cliff at the edge of the parking lot (to hide from the bear), and, although there is a narrow ledge, I end up hanging on the microphone cord. Someone, I do not know who, is soon pulling me up, though I sense it may be the bear doing this (though I am not sure), but as I begin to climb up, the bear leaps over the cliff with his front paws spread out but misses me and presumably falls to his death. I wake up in the middle of a snore.

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The parking lot setting, as well as the cliff, is completely unrelated to waking life. Both are specific liminal space indicators of the dream state, the parking lot because it represents a halfway point (between dreaming and waking) as analogous to leaving an area (the dream state) and the potential of returning home (waking life), and the cliff being related to the biologically premonitory nature of waking from sleep (which often produces a natural falling sensation based on inner ear dynamics and coming out of being unconscious and otherwise has no meaning).

The bear in this case may also have no meaning other than the preconscious factor (which is sometimes aggressive, depending on incidental dream dynamics, for the sole purpose of waking the dreamer) as it was primarily rendered by way of the sound of my own snoring. Note the progression; microphone buzzing, car engine running, bear growling. This is all sound-based, where my unconscious was simply trying to compensate for the sound of my own snoring yet also slowly alerting me to the waking transition. To validate this, a microphone would not normally get my attention (especially as I am already holding it despite its presumed technical difficulty), a car engine running would not necessarily get my attention either, but a bear certainly would. See how this works? (It should be obvious to a person of reasonable intelligence.) The usual hypnopompic falling dynamic was transferred to the bear so that my waking was softer than it would have been otherwise.

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Morning of March 15, 1980. Saturday.



My original dream record was entitled “Invasion of the Blue Doughnuts”, but I am not sure if this new title is that much better…

This was a very long dream with many scenes, like an actual “epic” by description, which are not as common as other types, I think.

My dream begins in my sister’s backyard very late at night. Several other people, mostly neighbors and local passersby, are in the alley. We end up watching strange, small, blue torus-like forms “raining” slowly from the dark sky. It seems beautiful at first. They seem just the right size to wear as a ring. However, they eventually seem to be some sort of dangerous alien life form, like a sort of doughnut-shaped worm or strange “finger-eating” mollusc - and coming from an asteroid orbiting close to Earth. They are able to “eat” people, apparently with their mouth being the inner region of the torus, I think, but they attack in large “swarms” or “flocks”. They are all over the ground eventually. I am never directly in danger, but it is an eerie event. People spend time meeting at storefront areas and talk about what should be done. The government does not seem that active at all in what should be done.

Other creatures, which seem like some sort of tiny yellowish ants (so tiny as to be almost microscopic), are able to rapidly eat a person (from the feet up only, it seems - or at least in an upwards direction), so that it looks like the person is quickly sinking into the ground. This is rather disturbing to many of the residents who are planning to leave town.

Later, I am walking through a strange area where more creatures have taken over. There are very large snails, about the size of a cat. They seem to have almost human-like “faces”, but clown-like and rather goofy-looking. There are also odd crab-like creatures with “human eyes”. I do not feel that threatened or unsafe at this point, which is verified by my needing to resist the urge to laugh out loud and attract a different creature that may be in the area. There are puddles of water everywhere as if it had rained recently.

After a lot of different random adventures and narrow escapes, it seems the human race is “doomed”. I am at a campsite with a few friends, one of them possibly Tina L and another Toby T (and possibly Steve J). In the distance, along the horizon, is a series of huge, red, and slowly moving (or “crawling” like a slug) “monoliths”, creating a sort of echoing rumbling “moan”, which are actually a massive life-form about the size of a skyscraper and which are some kind of enormous mollusc. The sun is setting and they move over the distant landscape like a uniform series of slowly moving upright reddish dominoes…their number seeming almost endless. In the back of my mind, it vaguely creates the association or essence of a slowly moving assembly line in a factory. These are how our “last days” will be spent, but there a still a sense of peace somehow.

Morning of February 10, 1980. Sunday.



I am disembodied in my dream while watching a seeming display as if from a television movie or commercial, although it seems I am actually there at one point and hovering over the scene following the unknown Caucasian female as she walks. It apparently involves a female detective and “Swathy Daniels” is apparently her name. There is an unseen younger male of perhaps about twenty (as a voice-over) singing her name as she walks through the unknown city (though may be La Crosse) in a pale gold jacket - he sings it slowly in a sort of odd matter-of-fact way as she crosses the street (not at an intersection but near the middle) with a very slight sense of melancholy though still with a discernible degree of cheerfulness.

Later on, I reason that it may have turned out to be just a perfume commercial (or perhaps a shampoo commercial) even though I still sense it is related to a detective show. (Detectives are typically rendered in cases where the non-lucid dream self is puzzled by being in the dream state).

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Trying to work out what this could possibly mean, there is a good chance that crossing the street is a liminal space period, though not as much a consciousness shift as with a staircase - though reaching the other side of the street would be a good waking metaphor. “Swath” is probably a dream sign play related to being wrapped (”swathed”) in a bed sheet during the dream. “Daniels” may or may not be a subtle play on actor Anthony Daniels, who played C-3PO in the “Star Wars” movies and in which case would reflect one of the aspects of the dream self in not being fully conscious. This seems possible due to the fact her jacket was of a similar color (also an emergent consciousness color) so then would represent the transitory waking self (hybrid stage, usually very brief other than in my childhood dreams).

Morning of December 14, 1979. Friday.



I perceive myself as being someone else; an unknown male of about forty. I seem to be planning where soldiers will go by using a large map that covers a table, and I point out locations as other males stand around watching. The country that the war is against is unknown, but is possibly China (though it may also be somewhere in Africa, though that seems illogical in conscious afterthought).

Over time, it becomes obvious that I have made a mistake, in that a large yellow butterfly has landed on the map, by which I am then incorrectly designating features of the butterfly’s wings as being rivers, rivulets, and locations of possible villages. The people observing and listening to my instructions do not seem that concerned or amused, but I notice a few walking away.

The butterfly has landed so that its head is over a delta and its superimposition also creates the illusion that its bottom half is over the ocean or other body of water. At one point, I am trying to work out where the perimeter of the butterfly ends and the map details begin.

When I look up, many people have gone to a different table, where at least three unfamiliar males, possibly astronauts in blue coveralls, are looking at a larger map on a table, one male pointing at it with a pointing stick. (This scene was directly influenced by a View-Master “Project Apollo” frame, which I gazed at many times as a boy.)

I am somewhat puzzled. The butterfly has made my presentation problematic but now I am vaguely unsure if the meeting was about going to war, or returning to Earth. Somehow, “returning to Earth” does not seem quite right as it would entail that we are not on Earth presently (though this is not certain either).

Explanation:

Over twenty percent of my dreams since early childhood have rendered return-to-consciousness symbolism as related to flight, though always unique, with positive, negative, or neutral imagery which often seems unrelated to waking life (though is sometimes validated as prescience). This is obviously based on subliminally anticipated hypnopompic effects, mainly including the feeling of falling (which is spontaneous and biological, without the pretense of “interpretation”).

The concept of war in this case is related to the “struggle” of the fictional dream self, the transient identity and neural patterns changing via the dynamics of emergent consciousness and beginning wakefulness, which is sometimes represented by the color yellow (though red when I have been sleeping too long). It is also seen as a “journey”. In this case, it is even more obvious by the questioning of whether we are on Earth. Technically, we are not, as it is the dream state and I am not walking around on the real Earth.

There are some curious layers here including “delta” as an association with sleep as well as ocean waves, a play on “delta waves” (relating to deeper sleep rather than REM). It is also associated with the song “Delta Dawn” (sunrise). Water is my most common association with being in the dream state (and its sound has been used in virtually endless commercial relaxation recordings to bring about sleep). The butterfly creates an illusion of “returning to land”, which is akin to returning to the real world from the dream state (as thousands of my dreams have been proven to contain this same type of waking symbolism, though always unique).

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Night of December 13, 1969. Saturday.



Ralph the Carpenter from “Green Acres” (played by Mary Canfield) is in my room in the middle of the night. She needs to do work on my bed (obvious dream sign) but which is also a wooden airplane (flight symbol and typical autosymbolism for vestibular system correlation) that apparently flies. She apologizes for waking me after I absentmindedly look up at what sounds somewhat like hammering. The boards are at different angles including several over my head but apparently my airplane is still okay to fly. She says something about the school bus (or catching the school bus) at one point (even though it is the weekend - which I try to recall the nature of in the back of my mind) and something about my cat Snowball. Soon, I am aware my bed is flying - with not that much concern (or focus) over her probable incompetence, though that is only a very loose association as I do not feel much movement and I am seemingly still in my room in the same position. I hear a soft engine which sounds in the distance (or underneath me and not very loud) though it is somehow meant to be “my airplane” of which I am supposedly in. I am not doing anything (that is, I am not acting as a pilot) even though my “airplane” has eventually supposedly gone a far distance. I am in bed as I was, with my eyes closed wondering where I am going. There is the typical essence of indoor-outdoor ambiguity (somehow being simultaneously indoors and outdoors).

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I explain this dream type further in “Dreams of Type PRECONAV-VSCPCEL, 01-15”.

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Night of November 16, 1969. Sunday.

Dream #: 1,063-02. Reading time: 1 min 18 sec.



In my vivid dream, I am riding my school bus in the morning, but I soon notice that it is now an airplane. I realize this because of the unfamiliar bird’s eye views that I observe and enjoy. I am seated in the middle of the right side, closest the aisle. There is a feeling of comfort and security as I remain passive to my surroundings.

This “airplane” continues to maintain the appearance of the inside of my school bus. The “pilot” or “bus driver” is on the left as with my school bus. He is focused and does not turn to look back at any of my classmates at any time.

Based on my views primarily through the front windshield, we seem to be going downward at one point at about a forty-five-degree angle though there is no wariness or fear. Mostly, there are scenes of ancient Greece, including the Oracle at Delphi and the Temple of Athena Nike. The imagery causes an eerie essence as if I am traveling back in time or at least seeing images of the distant past.

There are only a few other students on board, and I do not recall seeing anyone I know. I remain unsure who the pilot is. Though he is in a formal outfit and wearing a cap, my real-life school bus drivers never wore a uniform. (I do not recall waking from this dream, which seemed to be in the middle of the night.)

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It became typical for me to imagine that I was riding in something other than my school bus when going to school, such as an airplane, rocket, train, a machine that chopped all the trees down along the way (after seeing “The Lorax”), and so on.

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This dream was before I maintained a consistent use of “opossum” (family DiDELPHIdae) in my ceremonial identity (and eventual Internet username) and the spiritual link with dolphins (family DELPHInidae). I was surprised to find “Delphi” in both.

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Early morning of November 8, 1969. Saturday. (Between 1 and 3 am.)



In my dream, my female classmate, Carol Waters, is swimming in a very small “swimming pool”, which seems to instead be a section where concrete is otherwise to be poured into the hole that is presently filled with water (as part of an internal floor foundation my father had been working on). The water in it may be a result of recent rain even though the setting seems indoors, though there are possibly missing external walls behind me or on either side as well as the roof not being constructed yet. It reminds me a bit of an actual construction area my father worked at previously but also (more likely) could be from newer construction on the new rabbit shed on the north side of our backyard. There is another person in my dream besides me and Carol Waters; seemingly my father, standing with arms akimbo to the south (facing north) of the small “swimming pool”. I am to the east of it. There is a sense of puzzlement in the scenario. It seems to be midnight or after in my dream, which may be reflecting the actual time in this case.

My father seems to be puzzled as to why Carol Waters (her real name) is using it as her own private “swimming pool”, as he needs to finish his work and pour the concrete (after removing the water), though he would not actually do this work so late at night. She is “swimming” upright, almost vertically in a seemingly physically impossible way; in an unusual very swift manner back and forth (east to west and back). The scene is highly unlikely, as the area for the concrete to be poured would not be deep enough to use as such (assuming Carol is actually upright in the water, though she may just be doing a wrongly perceived or distorted dog paddle). My father says that she is “afraid to come out of the water” giving me a vague awareness of the Brian Hyland song “Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini” (even though I am not certain of what Carol is wearing in my dream, as she never comes out of the water).

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This dream was in the middle of the night, seemingly coming out of a very deep sleep. It also seems too cold (even for Florida) to consider that someone would be swimming at this time. It seems amusing in that her surname was Waters and this is the only dream I documented as ever having her specifically as a character and was related to her being in the water.

Trying to be as accurately detailed as possible here, I will add the nature of the setting as in being of typical very clear perceptual bilocation. The scene, as well as its implied in-dream location, also seems to be oddly set between the south inner and outer wall of my bedroom, partly in the front yard in front of my father’s room (original room before he built the extension into the carport). This sense of bilocation occurred in the majority of my dreams when young (and still occurs more sparsely) though I had not previously given the specifics online.

A probable meaning to this dream is that I was merely focused (in-dream) on the dreaming process itself; that is, the water being the essence of the dreaming mind, projecting myself as Carol the swimmer, the pool not being a real pool (dream state as opposed to waking consciousness), my dream being short (not that much water in the faux pool), and the building incomplete (dream not fully rendered even though vivid). As most dreams have a precognitive or remote viewing layer, this one foreshadowed newer work my father was to become involved in. (He added a new area to the rabbit shed as well as becoming more involved in local construction involving houses, churches, and park utilities.) Also, immediately after my dream, he talked about rainwater making the concrete too wet and had to do additional work.

Additional notes. There was an association with an apparently fictional lyric “she was afraid to come out of the ocean, she was afraid to come out of the sea…” (as I often misremembered song lyrics as a child). Also, I always, even at this age, felt the song was a bit ambiguous, as it was not clear if the bikini or the polka dots were yellow. I did not see Carol Waters as shy in real life.

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melatonin simulacrum subsequent mediation / water lowering waking symbolism

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Morning of October 13, 1969. Monday.



This is titled “The Three Lives of my Dream Girl” not because the precognitive rendering of my wife Zsuzsanna has three lives in it but because it was directly influenced by “The Three Lives of Thomasina”.

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I find myself in what seems like an indoor intersection where four staircases go upwards from each direction (yet seems bilocated within the Cubitis living room yet has the typical feeling of being inside and outside at the same time). I follow a black cat that seems a bit familiar (though actually is not in reality as we had a white cat called Snowball). I do not reach the top of the stairs but I do reach an isolated mezzanine that I am aware of by looking over the top step from about the sixth step down. My mystery girl is sleeping on her back. There is a pale orange glow.

I am wary about bothering her so I turn and crawl across some sort of monkey-bars-like structure. I find “my” staircase and begin to look for my bed to make sure I am in it. Looking back, I see a two-dimensional giant orange tabby cat head just beginning to peak over the implied skirting of the odd adjacent mezzanine (from wherever I now am) and behind the head of the mystery girl’s bed, the floor of the mezzanine (or loft) which now seems hexagonal. I get a vague impression of the oversized black cat statues being alive (though they never actually move) and I hear a vague buzzing sound, like crickets but lower in pitch.

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• I have come to realize that an intersection may be some sort of real-time artifact indicating shared dreaming.
• A staircase is a real-time symbol of the dream’s status and relates to a potential shift in consciousness, including waking.
• Zsuzsanna was a cat breeder who went to cat shows when we first wrote, making this dream precognitive in an additional secondary way.
• A statue coming to life (which does not fully unfold here) is a waking metaphor (waking precursor) that symbolizes the conscious mind becoming more active.
• A black cat is a circadian rhythms factor (cats being typically perceived as nocturnal) and signifies threads of dawning consciousness in liminal space. In my case, the recurring black cat, or in some cases “shadow cat” or humanlike panther, is a variation of the preconscious personification, though ironically is typically more helpful than when in human form.
• This is a common daybreak dream (which are about as common as return flight dreams - which represent about twenty percent of all dreams), validated by the presence of the color orange (moderate waking priority) and the giant cat head (almost like a flat stage prop) coming up over the head of the bed as being analogous to sunrise and the emerging conscious self.

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Morning of October 6, 1969. Monday.

Dream #: 1,022-02. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec.



Five or six schoolmates and I slowly become aware of, and choose to investigate, another part of our school in Arcadia that most people supposedly do not usually go to on the east side of the high school building (even though we are in elementary school, though we did have classes in the high school building).

Bossy schoolmate Susan C is present. She is the authority for our tentative exploration. It is seemingly very early in the morning before sunrise. At one point, she lifts her finger to her lips in a “shush” gesture. (I consider this a dream sign as people sometimes do this when someone else is sleeping.)

We arrive at a staircase behind a doorway, directly accessible from the outside of the building. It leads to the highest floor, to a big bedroom where a possibly dangerous male giant is sleeping. (There is never a sense of impending danger.) I get the impression he is about four times larger than a normal human being. We all walk up the steps slowly and cautiously, Susan in the lead. Eventually, everything starts shaking. The giant is possibly slowly waking for the day, but there is no immediate danger. We ascend the steps with curiosity and caution. Perhaps the shaking of the school building is only caused by the giant’s snoring, and he may not wake after all. We do not reach the top before I wake, yet I visualize him in my mind’s eye. He is asleep in his bed on his back kitty-corner from the doorway I peer through, his head in the opposite direction of my viewpoint, the soles of his feet facing me and uncovered (by the bed sheet) with one sock half-off.

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Here, the preconscious, as my classmate Susan, serves as the transitional vestibular system simulacrum as I remain passive to the dreaming process. She is guiding my infra-self into the subception that my conscious self is sleeping. The top of the stairs is a precursory factor that correlates with the extent of my readiness for getting out of bed and going to school. However, in this case, it is nowhere near the time to wake up for the day. That is why Susan “shushed” my infra-self, despite the incidental emergence of vestibular system awareness. It serves as a reinduction process rather than consciousness initiation. This shaking effect occurs in the first part of the sleep cycle.

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See my series, “Staircase Autosymbolism and Dream State Mediation” for important revelatory notes on dreams of this nature.

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Morning of September 21, 1969. Sunday.



This was a highly annoying dream that seemed to “reset” all night long. There were a couple vaguely interesting parts, but it mostly involved having to sweep outside, in the early morning until late afternoon, the whole area between the cafeteria and the northern side of the main West Elementary school building, not just the sidewalks and portico areas, but the grounds as well. Of course, there was always more sand and a bit of debris to go back to and never actually feel any sense of completion of the required job.

The other students were doing chimney cleaning throughout the neighborhood, apparently. There were not even any actual chimneys to speak of much for such work in reality. In the past (about a year before I finally “got” the real lyrics), I absentmindedly sang “Chin chin chir-ree” (instead of “Chim”) without anyone noticing - I guess because I thought “chin” actually related to the person’s face while doing the cleaning. This was also related to the somewhat precognitive “cat-woman” dream where the girl on the roof at Rose Street was a foreshadowing of an actual school play with the “same” girl (of the sparsely recurring December 20, 1966 dream). I believe there is also a vague association with Mickey Mouse in “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” and a concern about not getting my job done (the idea of “without magic” is only a very vague thought at one point). Of course, it could also imply an indirect association with the “mystery girl” during this time, in her Wendy persona, as she rode a broom.

In the background, also, is the “Money Cat” association. The eerie black cats, however, are only moving about in sparse patterns of swiftness on the roof of the main school building (the “Mary Poppins” rooftop associations were “perfectly” integrated with the “Gay Purr-ee” rooftop associations for some reason, with that sort of tentative “charcoal”, “submarine periscope chimneys”, and vaguely unpleasant wide-reaching industrial implications). No one else is around and I am close to anger at having to be the only one with the job at hand. The task seems ultimately pointless. The dream drags out in an uncomfortable manner - and, if that were not bad enough, it resets as I have already stated - back to the “beginning”. The cats coming out later, especially as the sun sets, means that I have “failed”, yet I do not see the relevance to my actual school grades.

Relating to this dream and several pleasing ones, there is some sort of odd, layered nostalgic conscious association going back to the “Money Cat” song from “Gay Purr-ee”, the “carrot creature” (what I call “her”) from “Cold Hands, Warm Heart” (“The Outer Limits”), the dance by Nichelle Nichols in “Star Trek V: The Final Frontier” (which had alien “cat women”), and the “cat burglar” girl from the 1966 (and later) dreams. I found it interesting how the first viewing of the “Star Trek V” movie triggered what almost amounted to a false and “distant” memory, but was actually a “buried” long-term association with the imagery. It “struck” me at a very deep and personal level.

Morning of September 11, 1979. Tuesday.



There were other versions of this dream but this is the most detailed version (not necessarily the longest) from September 1979. I had not seen Ann L (who I do not see in my dream much) for a few years. Ann L was the only familiar character (other than my “dream girl” of whom turned out to be real years later) from real life in most of my dream. She was a classmate for only a couple grades in middle school and high school. I did not really know her very well or interact with her that much. She was a mousy bookish type. This in fact, is one of my only dreams where she appeared and long after I had last seen her in waking life.

My dream’s plot vaguely resembles a Harvey comic book story of which I was familiar with (with Casper and Wendy as the main characters). It involves a ship that is similar to the Pacific Princess on “Love Boat” (which I have a false memory of having “seen” at a much earlier age which is likely associated with “Love American Style” from 1969 instead). However, there is also something about it that is also very military-like and the ship itself is greenish-gray, at least later on. Instead of moving normally across the ocean, it floats about three feet or so above the water’s surface (using some sort of advanced technology which America supposedly did not have in my dream), which seems slightly ominous (but still leaves a wake at times). The captain is Captain Badheart as in the comic story, which changes from Captain Goodheart.

There is something about Ann having a baby (not by me; possibly Barry R or the captain) as well as being locked in the captain’s cabin, but I do not follow her status that closely. It is almost like a secondary movie within my dream that is happening on the sidelines. I know the ship was designed to change after people boarded and kidnap them to keep them out at sea and serve the interests of a (fictional) small country or dictatorship. There is an original reference that I noted in which there is some association with “air ship”. There is a slight awareness of the “mystery girl” even from the beginning, but not quite as much as a much earlier dream of the liner. I now see a connection between “Pacific Princess”, “Love Boat”, and the fact that Australia is near the South Pacific.

The ship also has advanced weapons, some sort of multiple laser cannons in a series, something I might have associated with the original (1978-1979) Battlestar Galactica (especially as the ship seems to be called the Celestra at one point - the plot of that episode with that name is: “During a celebration honoring Commander Kronus, Starbuck recognizes an old flame of his, Aurora and breaks off a date with Cassiopeia to follow his lost love to the Celestra. On their arrival, Starbuck and Apollo find themselves in the midst of a mutiny” - IMDb), giving my dream a science-fiction-like atmosphere in the main scenes. There is a battle with the United States Air Force at one point. There is a precognitive layer (not quite as clear or multilayered as the liner dream of childhood) referencing my yet-to-experience journey to Australia and a loose connection to “The Man Without a Country”, which I saw in middle school. It has a similar mood.

The “mystery girl” still remains mostly in the background. I look for her during the troubles on board and I am frustrated at not finding her. Perhaps she has magic that will protect her from the foreign soldiers, but I still want us to get off the ship and back to civilization. At one point the ship is on the water when another ship is in the area so that no attention will be brought on to this strange ship that otherwise eerily floats above the ocean’s surface.

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A singular ship in a dream is an autosymbolic extension of the physical body and linked to a specific level of unconsciousness. This is made clearer here by the additional vestibular system correlation - the fact the ship is floating. Additionally, this (the military association) augments RAS mediation in this case, making my dream into an interesting adventure, but ultimately unrelated to waking life other than the prescient thread relating to my “mystery girl” (Zsuzsanna).

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Morning of August 31, 1969. Sunday.



I am possibly in an unknown region of southwest Florida near a smaller lake, though it could also be inclusive of partly distorted (memories of) areas of Chipmunk Coulee where I had moved from in Wisconsin (though I had lived in Florida before, prior to that first move as well, until around three years of age). There are not many events; mostly just shifts of mood regarding the vivid imagery over time. Regarding this dream, I had written a story (a few versions over several years, in fact), but the later utilized implications were not known at the time of my dream. Thus, my dream was seemingly sending a rather ambiguous message, or so it seemed at the time, if you consider I did not consciously “grasp” the main scenario of “surrender” vs. “stay away from my territory”.

As well as the somewhat familiar lake scenery, I am also on the outskirts of town and in a clearing near the perimeter of a dense forest. There is some sort of local legend of a witch living deep in the forest, likely near the center of it. A large shrub has a white flag tied to it seemingly to indicate that the witch claims the forest as hers. It is on the edge of the forest and to the right of a tree.

Later on, the meaning seems to be different and I then get the idea that the white flag means that the witch is “surrendering” to progress and encroaching property developers. (I never actually see the witch; I only hear friends speaking about her and her flag - and I assume her to be of the Halloween-associated “bad witch” type.) I probably had developed the idea of the white flag from movies, but perhaps I did not perceive it as meaning to surrender. In fact, again, in my dream, it seemed a bit ominous as a sort of “obvious” visual warning (and perimeter marker) to “keep away” at first - the opposite of the “real” meaning. I see the outcome as obviously incongruous, perhaps during a time of slower learning processes where dreams are often inherently wrong about real-life associations due to not yet knowing societal associations or certain word meanings. One possible association from years ago related to occultism and superstition “surrendering” to consensus or modern mainstream society.

Some of the imaginative detail seems to have come from the idea of playing golf, oddly enough. (I did not really watch golf on any regular basis, however.) The flag in my dream was, at one point, vaguely similar in appearance and orientation as in golf (though with no number and not a pennant as in some cases with golf). You also see people hit a ball into the woods (or just on the perimeter) in some golf games.

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Update Wednesday, 20 January 2016: This dream is of the liminality type because the main theme is relative to a perimeter, or implied barrier on level ground (in contrast to lower or higher “barriers” or setting features). This is a lifelong but sparsely recurring dream design and type of setting. It seems to be relevant to metaphorical divisions of consciousness concerning the dream self’s level of access and other aspects of consciousness in the dream state. The forest here is the “Enchanted Forest” of the deepest imaginative state of the dream self (my most desired dream setting), where “magic still works” - “magic”, here, being analogous to apex lucidity. The white flag first implies “do not go in”, later to imply “I surrender”. It is almost as if the power of creativity and imagination, along with individuality (here presented as a form of isolation) is succumbing to consensus, or more specifically, the fully conscious self. On a much simpler level of possible meaning, it may represent the state between waking and sleeping (the clearing representing wakefulness and the forest representing the dream state).

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Morning of June 2, 1979. Saturday.



This is a much longer, almost movie-like dream in some ways. The main idea is that I have two very friendly and faithful pet wolves. They are both males (perhaps twin males), I assume, and their names are Lupus and Lee. They save me from problematic events a few times, sometimes from just standing around, based on how potentially trouble-making people react to their presence. At one point, I am in the hospital, which seems like some sort of “replay” of when I had the surgery on my right hand back in 1976. They somehow end up in my room in the hospital and I eventually leave with them a bit earlier than I am supposed to, I think, but I am very healthy later on, and for some reason, apparently had recovered more quickly from being out of the hospital sooner.

They save me from drowning when higher waves rush in when I “fall asleep” on an isolated beach. They are even allowed to be on a city bus and travel with me at one point. Their presence is very vivid and “realistic” and even though I feel like my “true self”, the unlikelihood of having two pet wolves never dawns on me.

There is a seemingly unrelated scene with my best friend making a response of why he supposedly does not have to listen to the teacher. This is the ninth grade class we actually went to (northwest corner of the main high school building), and my last full year of public school. His reply to her is “Because my father is Lucas Taylor, that’s why”. (This was actually not his father’s name in real life.)

This is a time period where I had first begun to find it curious that dogs had usually been more threatening in dreams than wolves and coyotes. In this particular dream, it seems that Lupus and Lee will be my companions and helpers for life - the idea seems very clear and almost like a long-term false memory (even for a brief time after waking).

Morning of April 2, 1979. Monday.



I am seemingly back in Florida, somewhere near Lakeland (possibly the front central area of Southgate Shopping Center), with no memory of having moved back to Wisconsin. There is some sort of ability I have to give trees the ability to grab people or even grow larger and stretch horizontally to capture someone (briefly recurring event during this year). This is related to trying to escape from several unknown males; either gangsters or the authorities (uncertain of which). I know that I have done nothing wrong, but there is a vague association with someone I knew who became a killer. This in turn, with only partial memory, places me in a “maze” of trailers in a large trailer park. The “maze” is probably only about three (trailers) by six or seven, though.

At one point, I have this strange “realization” that I should lead them into a television - and inside of it - to trap them within the television. This may work when used in combination with the trees blocking them or grabbing them and throwing them elsewhere.

After a time, everything becomes less problematic. I find myself in a field, though I am aware there are still people around. I eventually notice strange “lines” (about nine feet long) floating in the air horizontally and seeming like lines on a television. There is a vague association with snow on a television (relative to static) in a possible link with Winter Haven (and even an odd uncomfortable link to “Heaven”).

I am trying to gather my thoughts but something is not quite right. Static and horizontal distortions cannot exist in a real environment - only on television (or in the case of static, a radio as well). I become semi-lucid. I realize that I must somehow be “inside” a television that is on. I even hear more short bursts of static from an undefined direction and more lines in the air to confirm my suspicions. I am somewhat wary of remaining where I am - thinking that if someone turns off the television I may cease to exist. There is a “reset” and a false awakening, but I eventually “escape”.

It seems to be that anyone (even a figure of authority) who spends too much time looking at a screen (without a real-life passionate relationship to ground them) will face a future of “static” and little else. Life is vision. Love is life. An older person without a meaningful relationship is like a mirror without a reflection. Plus, the horizontal hold is wack.

Morning of March 8, 1969. Saturday.



Curiously, this was a bit like one of those modern reality shows long before they existed, but I do not consider it precognitive. The in-dream fictional television game show (which is apparently titled “Are They Dead or Are They Alive?”) has a seemingly very gruesome premise yet also seems to relate to a genuine news story as well (possibly due to a dream “reset” or partial replay). In one version, there was eventually a newspaper that proclaimed the “victims” (Brenda W and I) being found alive (near the front of the castle).

Brenda (a female classmate) and I are a part of I believe the first or one of the first episodes. A male announcer (or narrator) dramatically and slowly asks the viewing (television) audience…“Are they dead…or are they alive?” Brenda and I are held in a castle and there is some sort of vague awareness in the background relating to the “Dark Shadows” television series. Vaguely, there is an awareness of some sort of connection with Collinwood and D Hollingsworth, a male classmate whose name is only vaguely similar. Mostly, we are inside caskets (in two different faraway areas of the large halls) which cannot be opened from the inside, but oddly enough there is not the slightest nightmarish or threatening aspect, just the sense of annoyingly having to wait for someone or something. The “castle” seems at least partly modeled after our school (West Elementary).

Brenda actually seems cheerful throughout (considering the circumstances of the setting), though there is not much interaction or eventful purpose to my dream, it seems. I seem to perceive myself from my own supposed perspective as a dream character as well as from another (camera view?) location at times. I am the one that somehow gets out and rescues Brenda, but we still seem to wander about in the halls, supposedly for days.

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