• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. Friday, June 28

      by , 06-29-2019 at 07:24 PM
      I am at a castle on a hill. The hill is small yet steep and very green. The castle is also rather small yet still imposing and impressive. It is in two parts, with a pool between the two. The pool actually looks more like turquoise ocean water gently lapping up against a thin strip of sugar-fine white sand. I think that someone lives here as I look up to a window in the dark brown stone. I imagine looking out the window as the person that has to live in this place that seems so secluded without all the tourists that visit. I think I (and Makayla?) might be staying here. I’m in the pool now, and it seems more like a regular in ground swimming pool. There is also a circular hot tub that looks just big enough for literally one person to sit in. I think about going in it, but am not sure because of how small it is.




      I am walking through what seems to be an outdoor shopping center. The buildings are sort of laid out awkwardly and at weird angles in relation to one another, and this is not helped by the trees all around as well as all the cars, parking spots, and people walking around. It also seems to be on a slight hill. I am looking for a certain bookstore and think I have spotted it, the building furthest from me, tucked in amongst some trees and other stores. I walk up to it, but stop and set my huge Forever 21 bag on the sidewalk. I also take off my small backpack and put it into the bag, not wanting them to think I’m going to steal when I go in. I then realize I don’t want to just leave them out here, so I leave the backpack in the bag and carry it in. Inside, this place looks more like a house. I notice a large staircase to my left. It all seems to be decorated for Christmas. There is also some sort of (Girl Scout?) event going on; there is a sign in sheet on a long end table (the one at Mom’s?). I see Mom at the far end of the long room.




      I am on a pretty full school bus. I think we are stopped and about to disembark. There is some guy with foreign currency, and I see another guy calling me about it (like I’m at work). I find it humorous that he’s trying to call when I’m right here, but then announce myself and say I’ll check it out. I grab the little maroon drawstring bag. It feels like it contains coins as well as paper bills. I have no idea how I’d check a coin, and I’m not even sure how to verify if this foreign money is real or not. I’m not even sure what it is or where it’s from. The bill is about two times the size of a credit card and feels somewhere between paper and a credit card. It is an off white and has different numbers all over it. I check another one, and it has a few words on it that are indented (I feel it first). One word is ‘receipt’ and the others must say when it was purchased. I get the idea to go up to him (he looks familiar) and ask how he got these, holding my finger slyly over the ‘receipt’ part. I ask if he bought them with another currency, hoping that will just validate that these are real. He says almost what I want to hear, but it’s good enough.
    2. A Different View of my Cubitis Home

      by , 01-17-2019 at 12:59 PM
      Morning of January 17, 2019. Thursday.

      Dream #: 19,022-02. Reading time: 1 min 50 sec.



      An unclear backstory forms as I become vaguely aware of my imaginary dream state existence. Zsuzsanna is with me. We go into the house that was south of my Cubitis home. Unfamiliar people are presently moving into that house. Lisa had moved out recently, but there is no legitimate focus on her or our past. Zsuzsanna and I walk around inside the house.

      Walking through all the rooms (even though this is an imposition, as the others are moving in), we eventually come to a doorway that leads to the outdoor staircase that comes out from the north side of the northeast corner of the house. I dwell on focusing on the backyard of my Cubitis home. It seems to be the afternoon. I am cheerful and consider that I have not ever looked at my home from this specific viewpoint, at least in a very long time, that is, from the top of the stairs of the neighbors’ house.

      I continue to feel a sense of well-being and soon wake.



      Valid threads: This dream’s only correct thread is that my infra-self maintains a realization of my marriage to Zsuzsanna.

      Invalid or missing threads: I have no threads of recall of where Zsuzsanna and I ever lived since my time in Australia and no discernment of the fact that she has never been to America. Lisa’s house in my dream was nothing like it was in waking life and she and her parents moved in 1975, three years before I moved to Wisconsin. It was only one story and had no staircase (though a staircase represents the opportunity to vivify the dream or return to sleep or to initiate conscious awareness of the dream state). I also have no recall that she had a younger sister (though this recall is almost always missing).

      Dreaming and waking processes: [inherited transitional vestibular system correlation] Curiously, I act as if I am functionally aware I am dreaming by maintaining the staircase factor and even focusing on the nuances, yet I am not lucid. (I call this “faux lucidity.”) I do not descend the stairs, and as a result, my dream does not vivify or continue with consciousness integration. The King Street mansion is typically used for this (often deliberately when I am already semi-aware), though in rare cases, Rose Street is. (I have not lived there since I was six years of age. It is when I first used staircase reinduction).



      Today, on Twitter, another poster had a dream with identical processes (and intent) with a slightly different outcome: (LINK). Experiencing the same autosymbolic dream state processes as other posters (especially on Twitter) happens continuously, but I do not usually point it out, especially when it is such a common factor as in this case.


      Updated 01-18-2019 at 04:02 AM by 1390

      Tags: staircase
      Categories
      non-lucid
    3. King Street Staircase, Von Helton, Landlady, 50-Dollar Bill

      by , 12-20-2018 at 10:18 AM
      Morning of December 19, 2018. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 18,993-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 61.



      My imaginary dream self, in subliminal mode, minus waking life identity without a viable link to my unconscious mind, is placed on the second floor of a new version of the King Street mansion in La Crosse, the city where I have not been since February 1994. The fictitious situation implies that I am living in the northeast room, the room with the turret windows.

      I find an Australian 50-dollar bill in my wallet. Seeing it does not activate realization of my conscious self identity or my real-life status of living in Australia. Instead, I cheerfully think of giving it to my landlady (without realizing that it is not American money) as a partial payment for overdue rent. There is a thought that I already have enough food, so can pay her. These thoughts are ambiguous, and they almost activate my conscious self identity but are not viable.

      (This fictitious situation is a result of the typical subliminal offset of vestibular system correlation, one of my “crucial three” dream state processes occurring every sleep cycle, to reinduce my conscious self identity and physicality. A wallet is an emerging consciousness thread that links the fictitious dream self to waking life identity.)

      Not of a liminal mode, I still subliminally create a vestibular system precursor to enhance my dream’s vividness. I begin to descend the stairs. The landing (midway between first floor and second floor) is missing. I see Von Helton (this dream’s vestibular system simulacrum), the Internet conspiracy theorist, in the area where the bottom stairs would have otherwise been to join the landing in the opposite direction from the top flight.

      “Hello, Von!” I call out cheerfully. “How’ve you been?”

      “Not good,” he replies, with no emotion, as I descend the stairs. I smoothly jump off the last step of the top stairs, to where the landing would have otherwise been, safely falling to the first floor, and I enter a higher level of dream state awareness, as I had subliminally anticipated.

      “Have you seen Richard?” I ask him. (Richard was a recovering alcoholic who lived on King Street years ago. I last saw Richard long before I ever heard of Von Helton.) Von does not reply.

      A preconscious simulacrum activates in a doorway at this point as an unknown dark-haired woman of about thirty. (The emerging consciousness threads are still subliminal at this point, despite the manifestation of the preconscious in a doorway.)

      “Have you seen Mrs. W____?” I ask her, referring to my landlady. Even though the title and surname are correct, I feel very puzzled, as if I said something incorrect, but the woman leads me into the living room.

      I walk into the empty setting as the preconscious simulacrum vivifies my dream with the doorway factor. I get the feeling that it is late morning. On my right is a doorway into a big empty room (that was not there in reality) as I walk through the living room. It seems the landlady is moving from the mansion and this may be her last day here. She is standing cheerfully on the other side of the living room. I hand her the 50-dollar bill, expecting she will write a receipt, though her desk is not present.

      She is happy to see me. “That is a big room,” I say about the one I passed.

      “Oh, but it fills up quickly,” she comments.

      I am concerned about my living arrangements as well as what will become of my stored belongings in another part of the house, but it seems that I will still be living here, as her nephew (unknown character) will supposedly be running things and taking rent payments from whatever new tenants arrive. I get the impression, from imaginary photographs in my thoughts, that he was a German who fought in World War II even though I also perceive him as about 20 years old. He will be strict and expecting reasonable tenants, and my landlady says he will prefer rent in advance, but I get the impression she will have it paid for me for the entire upcoming year. It seems very kind and generous of her.

      The simulacrum radiates more dynamics of the interconsciousness (telepathic) to the point where I become aware of Zsuzsanna’s love for me though not in a direct sense of identity. Her face is very close to mine, radiating universality and bliss as a precursor to waking coalescence. I still do not viably realize who I am until I wake.


      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. My Daughter Upstairs

      by , 11-23-2018 at 11:16 AM
      Morning of November 23, 2018. Friday.

      Dream #: 18,967-04. Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 59.



      King Street boarding house in La Crosse in late morning. (Irrelevant to waking life since 1990). I may have descended the imaginary staircase (though I do not have the memory of it) to sustain and vivify my dream.

      I am at the bottom of the staircase from the second floor, where there is the fictitious feature of an L-shaped foyer where I remain until my dream ends. My landlady comes in from her kitchen and tells me to mop the floor in this area. The mop bucket is to my left. The mop is next to it.

      I do not use any water. I guide the mop over the floor and soon see a C-shaped clump of dust that it gathers and consider if I should tell the landlady that I should sweep the floor first. Soon, I see several Kinder Surprise toys on the floor, one of them a small penguin figure. I move the mop, and they are all in a small cluster.

      I hear my youngest daughter talking from upstairs, though I do not discern what she is saying. My landlady comes in (again from her kitchen) and asks me if my daughter has eaten yet. I am uncertain but tell her that she may have gotten something on her own. I inform her that I will be taking my daughter “to the north side” (meaning Northside La Crosse, to the Loomis Street house).

      She seems concerned that my daughter is on her own upstairs and mentions something about having heard of a boy on a CD, who recently died. (This is possibly my infra-self distorting “TV” to prevent a literal waking life translation, as the unconscious mind is not viably accessible in the dream state, contrary to popular misconception.)



      My dream starts decoding itself a moment before waking. None of our children have ever lived in America, let alone Northside La Crosse (or the King Street mansion on the south side of town either). I do not use the mop bucket, because I subliminally recall that water represents melatonin and potential dream state reinduction (and mopping or cleaning being an inherited biological thread of the glymphatic system, when fluid increases in cells while sleeping). (Because of this, water in the nexus, other than when I am entering or anticipating a return to sleep, never occurs. Despite the presence of the mop bucket and thinking it might be full of water, I never actually look into it and use the mop in its dry condition. Why? Because I am subliminally aware of being in the dream state - non-lucid - and my daughter might need me as perceived by RAS - even though Zsuzsanna is also awake, thus I do not seek to reinduce my sleep cycle.)



      For many years (even in childhood), I have been trying to determine if there is any consistent cause as to which threads of the current conscious self survive the demolition past the nexus and the transpersonal interconsciousness into non-lucid dream space. The infra-self is focused on the transition through the sleeping, dreaming, and waking space, not real life or from the viewpoint of the conscious self identity as in waking life, which ceases to exist in non-lucid dream space (one of many reasons I wholly dismiss “dream interpretation” in the typical use of the term).

      My youngest daughter is the sole liminal presence here based on something presently real in my life (though my dream self has no memory of my current address or that we live in Australia even in otherwise having recognition of my daughter). The reason is that she was awake and talking in reality at the time (in the lounge room) and it filtered through the nexus, the only thread that reached my infra-self.

      The staircase leads down into the (fictitious) L-shaped foyer. A foyer or porch is often a concurrent “bridge” within the nexus in all modes of dream manifestation (subliminal, liminal, and lucid) and RAS (reticular activating system) processes. It is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation. However, a staircase is not just about initiating consciousness in the waking process (or using it to vivify a dream when descending one). It is also about breaking the imaginary physicality of liminal space and becoming aware of the physical body (vestibular system correlation).


      Categories
      non-lucid
    5. The Usual Preconscious Simulacrum Evasion

      by , 11-18-2018 at 01:03 PM
      Morning of November 18, 2018. Sunday.

      Dream #: 18,962-02. Reading time: 2 min 42 sec. Readability score: 53.



      One would think that after over fifty years, the same dreaming and waking processes in the same order and with the same foundational autosymbolism would trigger more viable threads of conscious self identity and recognition beyond subliminal RAS mediation than what occurs at certain stages of the sleep cycle. In this particular case though, my subliminal recognition of the dream state resulted in me resetting it, as had often happened before. My dream was mainly from the influence of a movie, “What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?” (1969), that Zsuzsanna and I watched last night, despite it being of the typical transition through the nexus, which in this case, is a supposedly hidden room rather than, for example, a porch.

      The focus revolves around someone I had supposedly killed, a younger male, possibly accidentally. (The backstory, again based on the movie, is unclear). The urban location is unfamiliar and unknown. The person’s remains are under a commercial business building near a corner. I had somehow done this even though I was not involved in the construction of the building. The Sleeper (the “dead” person) transmutes into a cheerful emerging consciousness simulacrum in the last scene before the offset dream, without my dream self finding it unusual.

      There are many typical scenes of evading the authorities, one of them (the preconscious simulacrum) in particular. The emerging consciousness travels with me after someone finds their remains. The building is already being taken down during this time. (In the movie, the remains were under pine trees.) He (the activated Sleeper aka previously “killed” character) helps me find a secret panel in the wall of a nearby building, in a hall. I first try to phase into the wall (as with many past dreams in subliminal, liminal, and lucid manipulation of the dream state). Instead, a panel opens, and we step into a supposedly hidden area. I reason that going deeper into the area will result in us being less likely to be found as well as being farther from the entrance point (the same “logic” as in hundreds of previous dreams of the same type). (This scenario, naturally becoming the most vivid segment of my dream, replaces the typical porch-as-nexus event, in correlation with enigmatic space as the association between dreaming and waking. It includes “puzzles,” associations with detectives, ambiguity relating to where my real physical body is, and so on. Of course, it is not possible to “hide” from the natural preconscious transition.)

      However, upon walking into another area, the avatar tells me that “this is his office,” meaning the office of the police sergeant that had been after me. I notice how it looks like an ordinary office and is not hidden from public access on one side, finding it annoying that there is not much prospect for a genuinely hidden room. The police sergeant eventually comes in. I reset my dream, and it becomes a scenario where the police sergeant is the one responsible for the “death.” He is supposedly a vampire, which I tell a few people - and I have film footage to prove it.

      I then liminally reset my dream into an offset scenario of the typical vestibular system correlation process. I am helping someone, though only at times, who is in a wheelchair, as we descend an unlikely staircase built of various big stones in an outdoor rural area adjacent to a mountain. (In other cases, I am consciously aware of using this process to sustain or vivify a dream.) We have a little trouble, but we cheerfully descend several steps without incident, even though some of them are two to three feet high. He seems to find it amusing and mostly maneuvers his wheelchair on his own. There is no preconscious simulacrum at this point, only the emerging consciousness (as the otherwise typical vestibular system avatar) in the wheelchair. (This stems from both “What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice?” and the new “The Flash” television series, where characters are in wheelchairs without needing to be as a part of their “disguise.”)


    6. Corpse at the Bottom of the Stairs

      by , 07-16-2018 at 09:10 AM
      Morning of July 16, 2018. Monday.



      My dream takes place in a new variation of our present home. There is an unknown male present, though I do not perceive him as an intruder. There is an awareness of the Rose Street apartment, which eventually fuses into the setting as our present house is then on the second floor.

      An unknown male comes up the staircase into our home, and this male, I do see as an intruder. (It is the personification of RAS.) I non-lucidly modulate my dream and force him out. Other people are present for a time. (My perception is not clear due to non-lucidly modulating over RAS before the ultradian rhythm peak, as I went to sleep about an hour later than I usually do.)

      Before the preconscious avatar leaves my dream, I see him down in an alley, which is reminiscent of where Dennis (older half-brother on my mother’s side) lived in La Crosse years ago. I stay on the second floor at this time. There appears to be someone on their back in the alley, and this causes the preconscious avatar to run off. I am uncertain if it is a person or an arrangement of clothes and boots. I see a couple of other unknown people. “Is there anyone in there,” I ask. I am asking the others if there is someone “inside” the arrangement of clothing.

      Very curiously, Harriet Madeley (as Scarlett in “Waking David” from 2016), as the interconsciousness avatar, walks into our lounge room from the front door. (I do not become lucid at any point. I only remember the autosymbolic factors and dynamics of the dream state, of which I have often used to non-lucidly control my dream since I was a toddler. However, as I said above, my ultradian rhythm is skewed, altering my potential status of lucidity.)

      I follow Harriet, who takes on nuances of Zsuzsanna without my dream self being aware of this. We slowly walk down the stairs, which is difficult because each step has boxes and miscellaneous items on it. My dream becomes more and more vivid as I walk down the stairs, about four steps behind her.

      We are in what seems to be an outside area near the bottom of the stairs. I see what appears to be a corpse. The body is on its back. I associate it with Kristy Bruce (as Amy from “Waking David” - though she did not die in the movie). My dream starts to become more vivid as I gaze at it. Harriet, walking away, cheerfully says something about the corpse’s status and its identity. I do not recall what she said. I consider if it is a real corpse or street art. I wonder if it is papier-mâché. Her face is flat and skull-like, covered with wrinkled yellow skin. There is somewhat of an eerie feeling but no sense of fear. I slowly wake.



      The movie title “Waking David” had been on my mind (though did not dominate my thoughts), which had produced much of my dream’s autosymbolism. The interconsciousness is probably laughing at me for not perceiving the associations. It is presently very rare for me to use a staircase and not become lucid. I have used this factor in RAS mediation since I was a toddler. The corpse was autosymbolism for both my lack of lucidity and the inactivity of my physical body. The vestibular system correlation of using the staircase as a typical trigger to vivify and sustain the dream state was not as focused as it usually is, which was represented by the clutter on the steps. Factors of lucidity mainly stem from ultradian rhythm. (This is apparently why the WBTB method works for some who need to “attempt” to become lucid). I do not use so-called reality checks, as it biologically corrupts the purpose of the reticular formation and my dream self is not my conscious self identity. Additionally, it stabilizes my dream where I then think I am awake, so it does not work for me. The hand trick does not work either. If I suspect I am dreaming, my hands become more realistic and tangible, the opposite of what others claim.



      Readability score: 68. Correctness of writing: 100. Intellectual value: 75.


      Tags: corpse, staircase
      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. To Help Ghosts…

      by , 06-18-2018 at 10:07 AM
      Morning of June 18, 2018. Monday.



      Subliminal awareness of the autosymbolic nature of the waking process begins. My unconscious mind is personified as an unknown female despite the fact my non-lucid dream self does not possess viable access to my unconscious mind at this level of REM sleep. Errors and distortions abound. She is a subliminal thread of my wife Zsuzsanna, of which my non-lucid dream self does not yet possess viable memory of or contact with my current conscious self identity. She has a daughter who literally but subliminally represents our oldest daughter at a younger age.

      I am sitting on the floor in a unique erroneous version of the King Street mansion. The house is mirror imaged to its real-life layout, flipped east to west. I am in the downstairs antechamber while the female mostly remains in the living room on the other side of the doorway. She seems annoyed in building a small structure on the floor in about the middle of the living room, mainly from a set of small blocks of different solid colors, mostly blue, yellow, red, and green. They are about the size of baby blocks, but with a feature on all six sides that is like the knobs of a Lego brick, though there are four knobs on each side of each cube in a two by two pattern. A couple times, as the blocks do not fit into each other, stacks of about seven high topple over. There is a row of about eight stacks at various heights. (This is autosymbolism for failure to initiate viable conscious awareness.)

      I am puzzled and somewhat annoyed, though not angry, in trying to rebuild the staircase that goes to the second floor (where I had lived in real life though not been since 1990), which supposedly is to be the real staircase. This is an extreme failure of thinking skills as I am solely working with small triangular pieces of wood. The pieces are only about two inches thick. The two stacks I had made this far are only about six inches high in two rows of about eight pieces each. I cannot seem to arrange the pieces in the correct orientation regarding which edge should face upward. I have several together, but they do not display the form of a set of steps. This indicates that my subconscious self is having difficulty in reaching my conscious self identity during the waking process.

      Subliminal anticipation of the waking process continues but increases. This is after the subliminal recognition of a staircase being autosymbolism for the waking process despite its miniaturization in a setting that represents the liminal space of the process, the antechamber (what my landlady called a “vestibule” in real life). Vestibular system correlation personifies, which causes my dream to jump to a new setting, though in the same King Street mansion, still mirrored east to west.

      I find myself on the second floor. I develop an ambiguous awareness where I start to become partly aware of my married status and erroneously perceive the house, though vaguely, as the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (where we have not lived in years), though that was only a one-storey house and was nothing like the King Street house. Vestibular system correlation personifies as Glenn, one of our landlords from Stadcor Street. He has never lived in America, but my dream self does not consider this error. I have a vague awareness he is married to my landlady (only vaguely recalled as Zsuzsanna at this point, but this does not trigger the realization of my erroneous associations) even though in reality he had a male partner.

      A vague thread of dream state awareness is present at this point, though no threads of viable lucidity. Because of vestibular system correlation personifying as Glenn, who seems very cheerful, I walk through the doorway of the upstairs kitchen, which opens to the porch’s roof. This is from vague recall that a porch can be used to vivify a dream, as it is autosymbolic of a specific level of dream state consciousness of which I had used many times in the past, since early childhood, to vivify my dream or “step into” a more vivid offset dream. This process developed from walking outside by way of the porch’s doorway. Here though, I am somewhat puzzled from being on the roof of the porch, as there is no additional doorway to intensify my dream or trigger viable lucidity (as the option to jump off the roof to fly does not occur to me). Glenn looks up at me from the public sidewalk in front of the house.

      “You’ll have to use the catwalk,” he says happily.

      I get the impression he had used the so-called catwalk and jumped to the ground from the outer edge of the roof. I study the roof and see a precarious narrow section of wood that is separate from the rest of the roof, which puzzles me. I stand on it, but consider that I cannot get to the rest of the roof (which has some building materials and tools sitting about) even though all I would have to do is step onto it from this supposed catwalk. Even after fifty years, my dream self fails to remember the dream sign of a cat being a “witness” to liminal space and typically near doorways (for the purpose of inducing lucidity in some cases), though the association had been distorted into the word “catwalk” in this case. (No cat is present and my dream self does not think about cats even upon hearing “cat” as part of “catwalk”.) The association with a “cat always landing on its feet” is not present (regarding the vestibular system dynamics of the waking process, which is often a falling sensation, based solely on biology, not “meaning” as “interpreters” falsely propagate).

      My dream shifts into a different scenario as a result of considering the nature of the King Street roof (still erroneously associated with the Stadcor Street house) and subliminal anticipation of the falling sensation of the waking process, which does not occur as a result of this shift. Now it is a typical non-lucidly forced “haunting” scenario. I am downstairs again, but this time the setting is an ambiguous composite of the Stadcor Street house and the Cubitis house. I am now more aware of Zsuzsanna as my wife, though it is still not a complete recognition. She still seems to serve the role as landlady.

      “How long has…it…been in this house?” I ask her this dramatically, speaking of the haunting, which is mainly nonthreatening. We talk briefly, but I become distracted. I find myself in a dark room with an unknown female. There is talk about ghosts and seeing physical evidence of ghosts in this house. I tell her, “This is the only house I have ever lived in where there is the physical presence of ghosts.” On one level, I know ghosts are not real, but on another level, I have achieved non-lucid dream control and revivification at this point to entertain myself. The old writing desk that Zsuzsanna used to have is present, which results in an increase of thinking skills correlation. Near the opposite side of the desk from where the unknown female is standing, another female slowly appears. It is a ghost. “Can you see her?” I ask the female. She tells me that she cannot see anyone there.

      The ghost is a realistic version, as a “real” human, of Velma Dinkley (of the Scooby-Doo franchise), though about twelve years of age. She seems puzzled and very shy and uncertain. “Who are you?” I ask her. “I’m a goddess,” she whispers. I am puzzled and ask her again about five times. Each time, she softly says, “I’m a goddess”. I want to help her come to terms with her death. (This is a vague influence of “Show Yourself” from 2016, seen just prior to sleep, where I expected Travis to hug the ghost of Paul near the end, though he did not). I hug her, place my right hand on the small of her back, and move it up to the middle of her back. As a result, the palm of my hand begins to glow with white light, rays shining into other areas of the room. (I do not recall the association with Zsuzsanna having been born on September 13, though this was exactly one year before “Scooby-Doo” first aired, therefore Velma in this case is a subliminal representation of Zsuzsanna.)

      The palm of my right hand continues to glow as I find myself walking south through the Cubitis hallway. I stand in the doorway of the Cubitis southwest bedroom looking into the semidarkness. Several unfamiliar people, both men and women, are sitting on couches that are against the west and north walls. (This is an erroneous setup, as the north wall held the sliding doors of a large closet in reality.) I hold up my right hand and the light spreads into the room somewhat. The others are puzzled. I step through the doorway and wake. (This is a vague association with a security system reading a handprint to allow entry, or, in this case, to exit the dream state.)



      With this entry, I have attempted to explain the dreaming and waking process as best I could for this dream. (This is difficult in a society where most people have no viable understanding of dreams, many still believing in “interpretation” and “symbolism” in the popular sense, neither of which is real.) The bedroom is a literal thread of final recognition that I am dreaming, and so I choose to wake. The light represents attaining consciousness as a willingness to accept daybreak and intelligence of which only the conscious self possesses in waking life.


    8. Buddha Tree and Female Beetlejuice

      by , 05-19-2018 at 06:26 PM
      Morning of January 6, 2013. Sunday.



      In a mostly featureless field, there is a dead tree with sparse branches seen in early evening, apparently just after sunset, and in semi-lucidity. In touching the tree, I ground myself without a focus on the anticipation of vestibular system ambiguity. I am fully in my fictitious dream body for the duration.

      I vaguely recall previous dreams of living trees reaching out to stroke my face with the tips of their branches, in seemingly expressing love as an essence of nature itself.

      I notice movements across the bark on the side of the tree, a shifting of kite-shaped patches of golden “skin”, which sometimes feature a singular eye. I notice that part of the tree is breathing, a part of its bark moving out and back in with the same overall size as a person’s abdomen. Eventually, I become aware of a female Buddha looking at me somewhat blankly, perhaps puzzled by my presence.

      There is a change of awareness and temporality, a “blind spot” of which I do not pay full attention, a very common factor of the dream state when full lucidity is not present. A female Beetlejuice modulates my dream from here, though she is not threatening in any way (as preconscious modulation sometimes is when the need to wake and attend to real needs is greater). For a moment, I consider how serious it seems, even with a link to the spiritual, though I eventually come to terms with how silly the scenario is. I recognize the waking transition as it is rendered as an outdoor wooden staircase (as relating to vestibular system autosymbolism), which does not seem connected to a building. I faithfully use the stairs without slipping or falling (or the staircase changing form or collapsing), noticing the steps are rendered rather well. It all comes down to the usual vestibular system correlation with the personified preconscious (and additionally in this case as the vestibular system personification as the female Beetlejuice accompanying my subconscious self at this point), an extension of RAS mediation, passively leading the way in a liminal space where the religious fantasies wrought by others, and the movie fantasies wrought by others, are ultimately equal.



      Additional notes on the cause and meaning behind this dream: Way back when I was four years old and vowed to myself to understand and master the dream state, I came to realize that seeing eyes moving in a dream, especially when isolated, is primarily based on liminal awareness of being in REM sleep (though was also influenced from “sleep watching” the “Outer Limits” episode of “Don’t Open Till Doomsday” at age 4). There have been many dreams with this detail. In the eyes being on the tree, the tree in this case, especially in being in the mostly featureless field, represents the static (unmoving) status of my physical body during sleep.


      Categories
      lucid
    9. Contractor

      by , 03-26-2018 at 10:06 AM
      Morning of March 20, 2018. Tuesday.



      In this dream, I mostly remain semi-lucid, though there are a few random distractions. The settings are all unfamiliar.

      At one point, I find myself in an upstairs room in some sort of restaurant. I am near the counter where a cheerful chef asks me what I want. There is a plate of mashed potatoes that I decide to take. I do not eat all of it as I notice there is activity downstairs and I also realize that seems to be the only way out of this room.

      When I am downstairs, my lucidity increases to where I realize that my physical body is not wearing shoes as I sleep. Looking down, I notice that my feet are bare. This is not of much concern to me as I recognize the dream state indicator for what it is. However, just for the sake of presence, even though it is just a dream, I decide to summon shoes onto my feet. My feet are wearing shoes for a time, but they become transparent now and then. The people in the restaurant are all friendly.

      Eventually, I come to a checkout counter in a different building, which might be that of a library. I absentmindedly bump it and it seems very loose and actually comes off and so I place it so that it leans against the side of another part of the service area. I tell the unknown female at the counter that I will fix it and a contractor, an unfamiliar friendly male of about forty, soon appears. There is an unusual segment where unfinished buildings are seen. I mentally will most of the buildings to complete even though there are also several construction workers around.

      I notice that the counter I had been at earlier is now nearly two stories high from what seems to be an outside area. several unfamiliar people are present, including the original unfamiliar female. There is the typical indoor outdoor ambiguity, where it seems I am inside and outside at the same time (a factor of the illusory nature of the dream state in semi-lucid understanding that I am actually inside a house in our bedroom). I slowly wake around this point.



      A checkout counter is common autosymbolism for the waking stage (a metaphor for leaving the dream state). In this case, there was no dominant preconscious factor or RAS mediation or modulation, as the checkout being beyond my reach was a precursor to sleeping for a few more hours.


    10. February 9 2018 Transitions

      by , 02-09-2018 at 01:22 PM
      Morning of February 9, 2018. Friday.



      Today marks my 24th year in Australia and in being with the girl of my dreams, Zsuzsanna.



      I am going to try something new here. As I still have tens of thousands of dreams I have never posted online, including thousands from before I was even a teenager, I might try entries that include sequences of specific types in a series of no more than 12 for a specific part of the sleep cycle. Although I usually recall at least six longer dreams per normal sleeping time, there are many more of different but basic types that are mostly autosymbolic of the transitions between different times during sleep and of which I usually just pass through without drama. I am going to try this to see how it goes, randomly selecting dates, after this one, from over the last fifty years to see how the autosymbolic content has remained unchanged for the most part and perhaps note influences when I can. In some cases, I might include a very short summary of a dream I had already posted if it falls into the sequence of a certain dream type and time. The dreams are listed in reverse order, last one first. (Missing numbers are either related to private sections, abstract stages that cannot be described in words, or too long to post online.) (To quote the Yo-Yo man, “Try to remember everything you passed. But when you go back, make the first thing the last.”)



      12th There is one farmer working in a rice paddy. The water is lower when I look again later. (My dream self vaguely recognizes this as autosymbolism for the cessation of the dream state, water lowering waking symbolism, which has been as such since early childhood, having occurred as such through thousands of my dreams.) I do not speak to him but recognize the essence as RAS (personified preconscious). I eventually become aware that RAS has transmuted from a Filipino rice farmer into a Caucasian cowboy. He stands before a fence (my side), which is the division between dream self identity and conscious self identity, and I walk past him through an open part of the fence to wake. I do not speak to him, he nods, and I nod back. RAS mediation as utilizing a fence is less common than porches and doorways, or even parking lots, but does occur on a regular basis. RAS is typically more dominant or even aggressive when a porch is rendered as the waking space, probably because it implies that my dream self wants to remain “inside” for longer (that is, not wanting to wake yet).

      11th I am walking over a large high truss bridge (unknown location) over water. I do not see any traffic. A bridge is autosymbolism for a transition in unconsciousness and the water lowers to become the rice paddy scene of the next segment.

      08th I am walking through a circular tunnel, which I first consider, with a level of wariness, that it is the Large Hadron Collider. Still, it is mostly a featureless silver tunnel. I eventually consider it as just a transition between different levels of unconsciousness after briefly wondering if it is the inside of an airplane with no contents (including no seats or flat floor). There is sometimes a very vague sense of wariness when walking or sliding down through tunnels, not exactly claustrophobia (as I do not have this in waking life), just some sort of unusual level of awareness triggered by semi-lucidity. This is not usually the case with hallways of which are the same basic autosymbolism (dream state transition), though less transpersonal.

      05th I usually have one dream per sleeping period that is either prescient or of another inexplicable factor. I am in the backyard of our present home and there is some sort of distorted event related to five cats in a large rectangular container full of dirt of which may be a plant pot. I get the impression they are not alive, being half-buried in the dirt, but the feature seems unusual. The cats are not fully grown. There is an odd impression that they might not be “real” cats, for example, a perception of thread instead of cat hair, and an odd sort of composition, and even separated “parts” of cats (though still five in total). After waking, Zsuzsanna had shown me an older cross-stitch she had done (of which she had taken out of a rectangular plastic box this morning, with no way of me knowing that she would be doing this). There were five cats on the item, with different coats, but each of the same appearance and sequence as each from my dream, though she had related the cross-stitch as being prescient of our final number of children and the ratio of girls to boys (based on the appearance of the cat’s coat as certain coats are only common to certain sexes, such as most gingers being male and most tortoiseshells being female). This does not mean there is any symbolic connection to my dream (that is, of the cats being linked to our children), as prescience and shared dreaming is often mixed in with other factors. The symbolism still validates the prescient connection, the cats being in a rectangular box, not being “alive”, and of an unusual appearance of thread (cross-stitch thread) mixed with hair.

      02nd I mentally light a candle to see where I am (unrelated to the apnea events I experience very rarely, which is like mentally trying to will a candle flame back into existence with the fear it has gone out) and it is a small copper-walled room without much space. There is a focus on having recently taken the vocal out of David Essex’s “For Emily, Wherever I may find her”. “What a dream I had. Pressed in organdie. Clothed in crinoline…of smoky Burgundy. Softer than the rain.” Solely the isolated vocal plays from a gramophone, with an eerie echo. Sometimes when I strip the vocal out of a track in real life, it takes on a very unique quality, especially when I add certain kinds of reverb. I was thinking of using the isolated vocal in a new dub track I had already started (not for commercial purposes of course).

      00 Induction stage. I walk down steps with the intention of going deeper into the dream state. They are outdoor concrete stairs in an area near buildings of which are covered with vines. When I was very young, I learned to manipulate levels of unconsciousness by going up or down stairs in dreams (in both lucid and non-lucid situations, as I have recognized dream symbolism for so long, I was manipulating it at six years of age - which eventually became non-lucid habit), which is autosymbolism for traversing the specific level of unconsciousness (and is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation). Outdoor stairs are sometimes modeled after the ones in Veterans Memorial Campground in West Salem (Wisconsin), where I sometimes spent time as a young boy.


    11. An Impossible Taxi Ride

      by , 06-11-2017 at 09:49 AM
      Morning of June 11, 2017. Sunday.



      I am riding in the back of a taxi. The driver, a dark-haired male in his thirties, is unfamiliar. Zsuzsanna is with me. There also seems to be at least one unknown female present as a passenger. She makes unusual comments as we ride through a mostly unlit area, as if she is uncertain of the intention of the cab driver or where we are going. We go through an odd area between two exterior (presumably) walls in a more isolated part of the unknown city. The walls are irregular (more like rock faces) and seem to have recesses with unknown features, perhaps living creatures, but this never becomes clear.

      Several different times, the taxi goes up a staircase, similar to the one on Rose Street (but somehow never down one). I do not consider this unusual, even though we somehow are eventually outside and at ground level again, to later ride up another high flight of steps. The last staircase is slightly steeper than the previous but there is never any sense of fear or even wariness.

      Finally, we get out of the taxi on the second floor of an apartment building, apparently where the driver lives. This does not seem unusual to me. (In fact, my dream self had no backstory memory or any destination in mind at any point.) The driver walks over to an unusual “table” in his kitchen, but which looks more like the walls we saw earlier, and is actually like a large irregular rock (though flat on the top) in the shape of a rectangular prism. The driver exclaims “Oh!” (as if surprised by something unseen) and waves his hand, but there is nothing there. He mentions that a wasp had emerged earlier from the “table” and seems to think that this event is also transpiring presently (though it is not). I do not feel threatened or alarmed in any way and calmly mention to all the others that there is nothing there.



      In this dream, the preconscious shows me, several times, the “staircase as consciousness shift” factor (here, as implied waking symbolism). Still, there is no discernible change in the waking transition as such (though in contrast to going up, going down steps typically either vivifies my dream or triggers full lucidity). Even more oddly, he pretends the flight symbol (hypnopompic start precursor) is present in the last scene when I do not see it or feel the “return flight” mood at all. (Obviously, I still eventually wake.)

      It is a general rule that the preconscious becomes more dominant (even aggressive or uncommunicative) over time during a particular sleep cycle. Obviously, this is because waking up is a biological necessity. This did not seem so much like a glitch as a “practice run” inclusive of my usual waking symbolism over the last fifty years.


    12. Up and Down the Stairs and Skewed Science-Fiction

      by , 06-01-2017 at 12:30 PM
      Morning of June 1, 2017. Thursday.



      This dream is, in part, a sort of skewed carryover from another recent dream (“In a Science Group with Three Strangers”, from May the 31st, 2017). The same fictional characters appear, two unknown males and an unknown female. (Both the first part of this dream and the previous dream relate directly to studying the dynamics of sleeping and dreaming in real time, though while non-lucid.)

      This dream is too distorted to make much sense of. There is something about them hanging around where my mother is sleeping. It is an upstairs area. I remain annoyed at these people throughout this segment. I even kick one of the males so that he slides down the stairs, though he is not fatally injured. I do not go down the stairs myself (which sometimes serves as a lucidity trigger, though otherwise vivifies my dream, as the usage of a staircase in a dream relates directly to shifting one’s level of consciousness while in the dream state, just as it does in certain forms of hypnosis and guided meditation.)

      This scene shifts to a completely distorted and skewed continuity combining science-fiction with “real life”. I am in an unknown area and there is some sort of backstory of the world becoming too cold for people to comfortably live.

      I know I can help (without being lucid). Floating in the sky about ten feet above the ground is a very large holographic globe of Earth, which, for some reason, I perceive as the “real” Earth. (This of course makes no sense, as how could I be on Earth and also see Earth in the sky?)

      Captain Picard (as from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”) in a Runabout, flies out from the holographic but “real” Earth to the right of it (in my perspective) and towards my direction (though there is no direct contact or communication). He seems concerned.

      I decide to “fix” everything by waving my right hand and creating heated air currents from a fair distance away from the floating transparent globe, which form in a presumed S-shape, top to bottom. (This is very similar to how I mentally repaint walls in non-lucid dreams). I stand in one spot, hoping that these patterns will correctly cover the whole world to make it warm enough for human survival (even though the globe is not rotating).



      It has become cooler here in reality. The holographic Earth comes from Zsuzsanna and I having just watched a couple episodes of “The Librarians” where a large holographic globe is featured. Many of my dreams are directly influenced by television (though probably not the majority) even though I do not watch it that much (certainly not nearly as much as others).


      Categories
      non-lucid
    13. 8/16/16 - High School Dirigible

      by , 08-16-2016 at 08:20 PM
      I'm walking around a school. It very similar to my elementary school, but it's obviously high school. As I walk around I enter a large circular room with a giant staircase down the middle. I notice the the whole room is really full of people. The walls are glass windows. I walk up to the walls and look outside. I notice that we are very high up like in a sky scraper, but I feel like we're actually moving, as if in a dirigible. While still staying close to the windows, I walk around the room, heading towards the stairs. When I get to them I see A very tall, white man walking down them. I get nervous and shrink away from him a bit. I immediately walk past the stairs, hoping he doesn't see me. I look back to make sure he's gone. Once I'm sure he's gone, I feel better and go close to the windows again. I sit down next to two girls who I'm friends with. I smile and they smile back and say hi. Then they turn back to each other and start to make out. It doesn't bother me at first, but then I start to get annoyed. I feel envious and think that I should have someone to kiss as well. Without saying anything, I get up and walk up to the windows. I look up and see a large rope for blinds. I grab it and try to pull the blinds down. But for some reason they won't stay down. I freak out a little bit because I know if I let go of the rope the blinds will fly all the way up and I don't want that. A guy suddenly walks up and offers to help me. I smile gratefully and he takes the rope and pulls the blinds down. I walk away from him as he does that. I feel like I need to find someone.
    14. Scrooge McDuck’s Airplane

      by , 04-03-2016 at 10:03 AM
      Morning of April 3, 2016. Sunday.



      I am present in a three-dimensional animated setting yet I do not perceive it as representing a cartoon or featuring cartoon characters. Scrooge McDuck has a large new airplane. Huey, Dewey, and Louie are present and look on at him in puzzlement regarding his “car repair” activities. We are apparently in the basement of one of his mansions.

      It seems that Scrooge McDuck does not know that he has an airplane and instead thinks that he has a large fancy car. As a result, he thinks that the “car” could use a lot of work. This includes taking the propeller off the front as well as sawing off the wings.

      In the end, it seems that he still might find it a bit difficult to drive the “car” up the stairs.



      The basement setting is autosymbolic of having been in deeper sleep prior to RAS mediation commencing.

      The staircase is precursory autosymbolism that represents the liminal anticipation of the waking process, in this case, going up the staircase to achieve consciousness.

      Scrooge McDuck as my preconscious avatar, rendered to correlate with the waking process dynamics, is in the usual preconscious scenario of resolving the vestibular system correlation inherent to the dream state, which is based on resolving the illusory physicality of the dream self. Both an airplane and a car typically represent the physical body in sleep as a factor of vestibular system correlation, but as an airplane flies, the transformation is autosymbolic of resolving that the real physical body is in bed, with the anticipation of the falling sensation typically experienced as a biological factor of the waking process no longer present.

      With this dream type, my preconscious avatar has the essence of the emergent consciousness factor, which is shared by the potential of the car going up the stairs.




      Updated 07-11-2018 at 06:45 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    15. Sewing Machine Bulldozer

      by , 08-25-2015 at 01:04 PM
      Morning of August 25, 2015. Tuesday.



      Notes:

      It always gives me an extraordinary sense of fulfillment when I get a continuous flow of insight and am able to more fully decode certain patterns in dreams over a lifetime since earliest memory. I am very grateful for the technology that has allowed me to do this; that is, type faster and with continuous editing potential (rather than writing and correcting and rewriting and correcting when I was little), put documents all together in one place, and have a listing and potential day to day timeline of my lifetime from around age four (with sparse family references and records since my birth date in 1960) as well as having access to resources that are able to validate and enhance so many of my earlier records. Not only will I be able to, in about ten years (only an optimistic estimate of course), bring all of my dream records and notes together as I want them, I will also have the ability to do extensive searches with a fair amount of precision. This dream, as odd and unlikely as it seems (even to me at first - I did not expect the flashes of realization when working with it), gave me the required focus somehow to unravel a small and isolated set of dream metaphors and associations going back to 1968 as well as relating to the path to my beautiful soulmate. There are too many layers to get into in this entry (and one would have to understand hundreds of summarized pages of my personal back story to “get” any of it anyway). I can only loosely touch upon some of it. Obviously, there are still limitations to my personal symbols and metaphors being fully decoded. This is mainly because some symbolic associations are rather sparse and fairly rare even at my present age. Still, I feel very happy today with another new breakthrough.

      Sewing Machine Bulldozer:

      I am mournfully back as I was when I was in my twenties and working for the Onalaska Street Department (not that I was sad at that time - it is just that something seems to be “missing” somehow in-dream). My job at this time was picking up large pieces of eroded embankment (on a fairly difficult inclination) and placing them on the roadside - placing them directly in front of the bulldozer. This was very difficult work and not many could do it for very long. Over time, I begin to be annoyed and tired over why I am even doing this. (It does not dawn on me that I am no longer this age, and do not even live in America anymore.) I am concerned about the speed of the other workers. The bulldozer even bumps me a few times, though not in any harmful way. I grow impatient and realize that I may have missed pieces a far distance back and think that the stretch will have to be worked over again. I do some of the work incorrectly, that is, I bend over to pick up a heavy piece instead of squatting and flinging back. Any sense of weariness of course, is an illusion in-dream. I start to ask myself what I am doing here. Is this where I am supposed to be?

      I absentmindedly turn about and put my foot against the blade of the bulldozer. This results in a very strange event. The blade and push frame begin to wobble and very small “plates” fall off the front (reminding me vaguely of “Bathtub with Grill” from June 26, 2015). The exhaust pipe stack begins to move up and down like a “giant” sewing machine needle. It is almost like the tension building up in a cartoon (but not cartoon-like in any way). When I look down, I see that the bulldozer’s blade has actually transformed into an oversized antique sewing machine’s treadle (with floral scroll design), though at an angle and somewhat elevated. My leg is automatically working it to create (and actually sew together, apparently) some sort of clothing within the bulldozer’s cab. It is some sort of gossamer white lacy material flowing out from the side. Around this time there is a very strange mechanical sound behind me and when I dare look, it is a downward rolling “wave” suggesting a ghostly staircase. Soon, it is a luminescent staircase (recurring feature mostly from early 1991 to early 1994). My wife (as she was when we first made contact) in a glowing wedding dress and some sort of oversized tiara (somewhat like a crown) is standing there with a bouquet of flowers. I can see a blue layer of light just under her skin. “I’m not going to be late, am I?” I ask. “I never intended to be la…” (My dream is swept away.)

      Connections:

      Bulldozer history: I have found some links I did not really fully put together before. “The Dead One” dream (February 13, 1971, age ten - that is, first version of it) had a bulldozer run over Brenda W when I was taking flowers to her late at night on the eve of Valentine’s Day (so that only her hand is seen emerged from the soil and I feel a terrible sense of loss), yet she was resurrected (not in a zombie sense) near the end of my dream, yet “I could not yet have her”. (There were several dreams where she was resurrected, none of them relevant to any zombie lore - more in a divine “ascension” sense.) Brenda was the fully confirmed “stand-in” for my wife-to-be and also appeared in composite forms (such as “The Bad Witch” from March 18, 1978, which had a recurrence on March 23rd - the same date I got my first letter from my wife-to-be in 1991). Other layers - my sister died on February 13th (though the 14th from my perspective at one point in Australia as we are about a day ahead) and my father also died on the 14th of February. I have often associated the bulldozer with mortality and loss as such. Thus, there is very odd synchronicity with only a 1 in 365 chance it would be relevant as such - though it is - and all through my life extremely unlikely synchronicity continued with almost every event and association.

      The origins of this (that is, the very seed) may or may not be related to the tree I used to spend time near at primary school. One of my friends used to take palmetto sticks and push sand off the concrete bench, chanting “bulldozer bulldozer”. This was the “same” bench that Brenda was seated in most versions of “Bridge Over a Prehistoric World” (though she also appeared in distorted composites associated with the “dream girl” or “mystery girl” as I preferred).

      At any rate, from here, I made somewhat of a breakthrough in one very early version of the “divine staircase”. However, the features are quite different. It turns out to be my “Rocket Science” dream from July 2, 1976. This is not the first version of the implied “soulmate staircase” by any stretch. One of the oldest appears in “The Ghost Marriage” dream from October 16, 1971. I am linking only to the “Rocket Science” dream because of a few odd parallels. Firstly, the white sheet of paper that makes the “staircase” is like a miniature implication of the one in this latest dream (which I never even began to note before for whatever absentminded reason) as well as the commonly recurring ones as already mentioned above. It moved exactly the same way; that is, like a diagonal wave that suggested a complete “pure” or “divine” staircase (phantom or not).

      Aside from that, there is also the shared “whirligig” element and the strange “impossible” technology, the “whirligig” obviously being a Merkaba form, but I am not sure what the sewing machine needle and fictional helicopter rotary design “pumping” relates to (well, on a spiritual level that is - some sort of spiritual “motor” or cosmic mechanism perhaps). As most of this had already come about in 1994, it is more like a decoding breakthrough than anything relevant to what may come.
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