non-lucid

I cannot remember the beginning of the dream but at some point I am with several random dream characters by a large silty pond, deep in a thick tropical jungle. Because the jungle is so thick on either side of the pond, the only way across is through the water. I cannot remember why now, but I knew in the dream that it was imperative that I get to the other side. All of the DCs except for one get into the water and start swimming or playing around, but none make an effort to cross. I know I have to do it, but I am hesitant. I cannot immediately place my fear but then I notice something floating in the middle of the pond. At first it appears to be a large peice of wood or something, but it suddenly blinks and I realize it is an alligator or crocodile. I stand on my tiptoes to try and get a better look at the reptile and I can see that it is an absolute giant. It appears to be 20 to 25 feet long, though my measurement is possibly incorrect since the bulk of the beast is beneath the water and it is likely much bigger than it appears. I feel very afraid and do not enter the water. The DCs in the water seem oblivious to the presence of the creature and continue to happily splash around the pond.

I suddenly find myself in waist deep water, but I am kneeling so that water is up to my neck. I stare frozen in fear at the the giant grey alligator and it looks right back at me. The eyes of the creature feel very menacing as it stares at me and ignores the DCs that are swimming and splashing around him. It suddenly disappears underneath the surface of the water and I panic because I cannot see through the thick silt and fear that it might be coming for me, so I dash back towards the shore. I cannot get out of the water for some reason but there is a neatly stacked pile of red brinks just beneath the surface at the water and stand on it to get as far out of the pond as I can. When I stand on the brick pile, the water only comes up to my ankles and I fear secure enough that the giant alligator cannot reach me without me first seeing him approatch. I am still terrified of it though and make no move to enter the water again.

The lone DC that did not get into the water tries to coax me to cross with her. She is a teenager with brown hair pulled back into a pony-tail and looks like someone I used to know in waking life whom everyone called 'Bean'. Like the other DCs, she cannot see the alligator and does not understand why I do not want to get into the water. I am sure that at any moment one of the DCs who are already in the water are going to be eaten by the huge gator who is quietly laying in wait near the bottom. After some time Bean somehow convinces me to get back into the water and says that we will cross together. She is swimming beside me and I am trying to make large strokes with my arms with as little disturbance to the water's surface as possible.

Bean and I are about half way when I scrape my right leg up against somethine hard and bumpy under the water. I stick my face in through the thick silt I can make out the outline of the giant alligator floating directly below me. If I reached out my arms down below me, I could have easily touched the gigantic creature's back. My entire body stiffens in absolute terror and I begin to panic. At that very same moment Bean decides she's had enough of swimming on her own and jumps on my back and wraps her arms around my neck in an almost-chokehold. I am immediately forced under the water by her weight and my body's refusal to move because of the terror I am feeling. My fear frozen body slams into the back of the alligator and the mind numbing terror I felt is difficult to describe. I was sure that the gator would turn and snap both Bean and I up in one gulp when it felt the pressure of us on it's back, especially when my body's function suddenly returned and I used the beast's back for leverage and struggled violently to not only surface for air, but to wrench Bean off my back. When I surfaced I kicked and splashed and screamed at Bean to "Let go of me! LET GO OF ME!!!"

I was certain that the alligator would definately be attracted to my paniced spashing on the surface, but the creature did not make any move, though I could still feel it below me. Bean got upset with me because she could not understand why I had gotten upset over her jumping on my back without my conset and starting swimming back to shore with great indignation. Many of the other DCs turned to watch the commotion I was making and I was very frustrated that none of them knew about the giant alligator floating just below me. The dream gets fuzzy but the last thing I remember is making a mad dash for the otherside of the pond, and though I was still terrified that my kicking and splashing would attract the gator's attention, I could not swim calmly because I was still panicking.


Woke up ina cold sweat, had chills the rest of the night and could not get back to sleep.

Generally, in nature, if a gator is even slightly disturbed it will turn and attack anything that touches it. The fact that it wasn't "acting normally," like I expected it to, is possibly one of the main reasons why I was so scared thoughout this nightmare.

Image courtesy of Marathon Books.

My father, mother, my brother Ryan, and myself are in this dream. We all look as we did approximately 15 years ago. I cannot remember the beginning of the dream but at some point we are in a one room shed-like building. The walls and roof are made of white aluminum and the ground is cold, hard dirt. There is no heat, and we are all dressed in heavy winter clothing. There is one door, no windows, and enough room for a large queen sized bed, a fridge, a cupboard and a small table for eating. My family and I are in this place because there is a snow storm outside and we are essentially trapped until it is over.

The bed has heavy, white arctic blankets on it, and my parents and Ryan spend most of their time underneath the covers trying to keep warm. Because there is no room for me, I am either at the foot of the bed or on the floor, with no blanket of my own. (I am usually on the floor because my brother Ryan literally kicks me off when my parents are asleep). I feel very cold throughout the entire dream, especially when I am on trying to sleep on the floor because a biting wind can be felt coming in from the gap underneath the door.

When the storm ends my parents start showing me where the provisions are. There seems to be too much of everything and the cupboard and fridge are overloaded with foodstuff. My parents then inform me that they and my brother are leaving and I am going to have to take care of myself while they are gone. My father opens the cupboard and shows me many bags of milk and says that they do not need refridgeration because it is so cold anyway that they will not go bad. There is a red box filled with Fruit Loops cereal and my mom says something about getting a discount on them. My parents and brother leave and I am left cold and alone, with no idea where they are going or when they are coming back.

I made some rice crispie treats for the holidays and had this dream right after.



My father and I were at an indoor confectionary market, sampling many different kinds of foods,and we came across one display that was serving the rice crispies I had made. I remember thinking in the dream, "Oh hey, those are my treats!" and feeling glad that other people were enjoying them too. I was a tad upset that I had to pay for a peice of something that I had made, though I said nothing and handed over the money for the treat. My father and I grabbed some and ate it gulped it down before moving on to the next display.

I am in a field near my house called Mr. Salmon's Field. It is winter and I am dressed warmly. It is not cold and the day is bright, though there is a thick, grey cloud cover. I have a list of things that I have to find and the objects can be found around the field, though they are hidden. The I cannot remember the first few items on the list but at one point I had to find five christmas cards. I walked back and forth across the field but did not see anything. I back-tracked and found three red envelopes half buried and partial crushed in my footprints in the snow. I picked them up but they were soggy and ruined. I back-tracked a little more and found the two other cards, though they were not in envelopes.

The last item on the list was capturing three frogs from a nearby pond. I figured it would not be to hard seeing as the pond was mostly frozen over. On the rocky shore of the pond were several leopard frogs, who were not only alive and unaffected by the cold, but unusually large. I leaned down to pick up the frog closest to me, but it jumped and dived into the pond, smashing through the ice and disappearing underneath it. The rest of the frogs followed suit and I was unable to complete my list because the frogs never came back.

I am in the basement of my parent's house playing videogames while sitting on the futon. I see a small brown bug scurry out from underneath the old vinyl stereo and crawl underneath the futon on which I am sitting. I move the furniture and discover that it is a cockroach. I am disgusted and a bit creeped out, but try to catch it anyway. After a while I yell upstairs to my dad for help, but he shouts back that he is on the phone and doesn't have the time to help me. I indignantly think that he has the time to yell at me on the phone before going back to trying to trap the wretched roach, who is a fast little pest.

I pick up a small, round, plastic container and try to trap the bug, but it has somehow gotten bigger and it will not fit inside the container. Somehow, while attempting to get into the laundry room, the cockroach flips upside down and is trapped on it's back, giving me the time I need to find a something bigger to put it in. I find a larger container, but when I place it over the bug, some of it's legs are sticking out of the edges, as it seems to have grown bigger yet again. I have to hold the container down because the bug is strong enough to try and push it off. I need both hands to keep it trapped but it seems like I am losing the battle as the bug grows even bigger right in front of my eyes. Though it is still on its back the bug gets even stronger even and I start to panic and I feel helpless losing the battle with the disgusting cockroach.


The dream ends there thankfully.

The dream starts off in the small gymnasium of my old public school. There are no children, just new recruits for the military. The small gym is the sleeping quarters, whereas the large gym is for training. There are no chairs and the new recruits are forced to sit on their duffle bags and use small fold out card tables, or in some cases, cardboard boxes to eat and write on. I do not know anyone there, but we are assigned to small groups of five or six people to a table/box. I do not remember any of the details about the others in my group, but there is a guy sitting on my left who looks like a stereotypical jarhead. I cannot remember his name but I think it started with an "L."

L is a real bully to everybody and no one really likes him. I try to be nice to him, but in return he starts harassing me with rude comments and constantly tries to grab by breasts and buttocks. I am able to fight him off but from then on I have to be on alert at all times because L takes every opportunity to harass me. I try to keep my distance, but that is almost impossible since we are in the same training group within our unit. The dream skips ahead a little and it is months later. Our commanding officer is giving us our orders and assigning every soldier with a "war buddy." I don't have to wait to find out who my partner is. Somehow in the dream, I just know. It is L of course and I couldn't be any less excited about it if I tried.

The dream skips ahead some more and L and I have been deployed in a thick tropical rain forest, hunting down the unseen enemy presence. I think that our settings look like scenes I have seen in Vietnam war films, though this though does not bring about lucidity. I tell L that if he tries anything towards me that I will not hesitate to defend myself, and will go so far as to kill him if I have to. L doesn't respond. We travel for quite a while without engaging in any battles, and L concentrates on his soldierly duties and does not harass me. We come across a wide river that is thick with brown silt and is flowing quite rapidly. Crossing it would expose us to possible enemy fire but we have no choice, as our destination is somewhere in the forest on the otherside. As we are crossing someone starts shooting at us. I become afraid and try to go back the way we came, but L grabs me by my munitions belt and forces me across the rest of the way. He is spraying the part of the forest where he thinks the enemies are hiding, but neither of us are actually sure where the bullets are coming from.

On the otherside of the river L and I dive under the tree cover and the enemy fire suddenly stops. L begins berating me verbally for trying to run away, and though I am angry and not in the mood for his verbal abuse, I say nothing. From then on L declares himself the leader of our team of two and starts bullying me around. I am indignant at first, but soon realize that he is pushing me hard because he is trying to keep me on my toes and alive in the dangerous situation we are in. At random intervals we are attacked by enemy units but L and I are able to fight them off. I cannot see the details of the enemy fighters as they appear as sillouettes of people dodging in and out of the thickette of trees and ferns. More then once L saves my butt and a few times I save his. We are unable to stop for sleep and rest only a few times to eat, as we are constantly attacked.

We reach our destination and it is some sort of military outpost in the edge of the rainforest. On the far side of the camp the flat field dips down into a deep lush valley, where several small villages of the local population exist. We are summoned by our commanding officer and are required to report our experience. It turns out that L and I are the only members of our unit that survived to complete our mission. All of the other soldiers in our unit were killed and the commander wants to know what we did to survive. We report our experience and when we are done I openly admit that it was likely because of L taking charge that we survived. The dream ends with me saying "I think L is an @$$hole, but he's also a damn fine soldier" or something close to that.

It is winter, snowing heavily and very cold. I am travelling with a group of random people and we are trying to find our way up a steep mountain. We are all dressed warmly, but in medieval/fantasy style clothing, rather than modern day winterwear. The sky begins to darken, but I cannot tell if it is because twilight is approaching, or if storm clouds are moving in. The person leading the group gets our attention and points to something up a head of us. There is an eeiry blue light that is creating a large corona at the very top of the mountain.

Suddenly the mountain begins to shake and giant cracks appear all around our group. Lava begins pouring out of the cracks and the melting snow causes the entire mountain side to be engulfed in a thick steam. I am not sure the what the rest of the group is doing, but I turn back the way we came and try to find a way down the erupting volcano. Huge chunks of mountian and ice break apart and sink into the cracks filled with rising lava, in most cases creating more steam. I have to throw off my heavy coat because the lava and the steam makes everything ever so hot.


I cannot remember how this dream ended.

I have to take my neice, M, to school. It is winter and we are dressed accordingly. M appears to be a few years younger than she actually is (about 3 or 4 years old) while I look about the same as I do now. We are walking across a large, open yard that leads to the school. It does not register with me until after the dream ends and I wake up, but the school we are walking towards is my old public school, not the public school that M currently attends.

We are halfway to the school, almost to the tarmac even, when a huge machine appears at the far end of the yard. I do not know the measurements but the machine looked equivalent to a four- or five-storey building in height. It was very painted blue and rolled on these huge tank-like treads. I do not know what its purpose is, but it starts driving in large circles around the school yard. I think the machine is kind of cool looking, but I am also afraid that it will run M and I down.

I pick M up and run as fast as I can for the back door of the school. As I cross the tarmac, I come across three little boys who are running out of the school and towards the giant machine. I can't place their names, but they seem familiar somehoe, as if my subconscious is retreiving vague faces from my childhood. We get into the school and M immediately insists that I put her down, which I do. She runs into a classroom and I follow, but she is nowhere to be seen. I glance into the desks to see if I can see her name written on some paper or something, but all I see are bags of candy or blank sheets of paper.

I am at one desk when a young boy comes up and I recognize him as one of my classmates when I was in grade 5 (though we are in the grade 6 classroom), Matthew Shaw. He doesn't say anything to me and just sits down at his desk, eyeing me suspiciously. I am a bit confused, but leave the classroom and wander down the hall. I stick my head in the doors of other classrooms to try and locate my neice, but I cannot find her.


I cannot recall anything more from this dream.

I am on a vast beach of pale yellow sands, under a pale orange sky. There are some dunes in front of me and the eerily calm ocean behind me. On the other side of the dunes is a large flat area where I can see several mounds from which smoke is pouring out. Upon closer inspection of these mounds I find that they are actually holes in the ground that are overflowing with smoldering debris. The burnt materials includes large chunks of wood and scraps of metal or plastic, and partial or complete bodies of dead children. The skin of the dead children was a ghastly gray colour where the flesh remained uncharred and completely black where it was. The uncharred, grey flesh was cracked and peeling, like it was made of leather or something. Their eye sockets were all empty and their tiny mouths agape as if in a perpetual silent scream. I suspect that these smoldering mounds were someone's attempt to cover up some horrific crime and I quickly retreat from there, feeling ill, angry and downright disturbed.

I see a gathering of people in the dirtance and walk towards them. When I am close enough I can see that it is a large group of men, of varying ethnicities, wearing white robes and sitting in four large groups. The groups are arranged in four sqaure patterns and every man is sitting facing due wast. There are several men in black robes walking in slow circles around the large group. I am approached by one of these men and I notice as he gets closer that he is leading a child by the hand. The child looks exactly the same as the dead children in the smoldering mounds - gray, cracked skin, empty eye sockets, etc. except that this child is very much alive. The child's head turns in my direction, lips moving as if to say something, but the man in the black robe interupts and tells me that I am not welcome there, because I am a woman, before continuing on his way with the child in tow.

I see that all of the men in black robes are leading living dead children around, and all of them divert from their circular march around the large group, at least once, to tell me to that I am not welcome there because women are not allowed. I ignore all of them and go where I damn well please. I try to get information about the dead children, and the condition of the living children, but no one will answer me, but neither does anyone try to force me to leave: they just express their disapproval of a woman being there, then go about their way.

The sun begins to set and the large group of men in white robes begin to chant in a monotonous, unfarmiliar language. I skip through the gaps in their group and revel in the fact that I am someplace where I am not welcome, especially because of a trivial social construct such as gender. While I get a few angry or condescending looks, none of the men stop chanting or try to force me out. Since I cannot get any answers from anyone about the children, I eventually wander elsewhere.

The dream starts off in a large grocery store. I am in the frozen food section looking for something and there are several people throughout the store who appear to be shoppers. I look over my should at one point and see a former friend of mine, Cathy, standing in the doorway to the supply room. I am not happy to see her and I am even more annoyed by the smug look she has on her face. Everyone who I thought at first were random shoppers, myself included, turn out to be prisoners who have to "work off their debt" to be free. Cathy is the one who has imprisoned us and forces us to work in the grocery store, and as of yet no one has ever worked off their debt or escaped.

I am stocking in the soup isle and I find a newborn, sleeping baby, wrapped in a white blanket, laying in a sale bin. I sense that she is related to me somehow and I so pick her up. Slave master, psycho control freak (as she is in real life) Cathy comes over to give me trouble because I am not working and I tell her that I have to call my sister-in-law to come and pick up the baby. Cathy tries to take the baby but I become confrontational and Cathy wisely backs down. For the first time in the dream she doesn't have that annoying smirk on her face because she realizes that I am not afraid of her and will do serious damage if she tries to mess with me. Cathy tells me that she can't have children at her store and I have thirty minutes to get rid of the baby. As the slave keeper walks away I yell "or what? You'll fire me?" but she does not know how to respond and disappears into her office. Several of the other prisoners seem happy to see someone stand up to the boss for once, though they meekly continue with their slave labor.

I leave the grocery store and enter into the large shopping center to which it is attached and beeline for a public phone to call my sister-in-law. She says that she and my brother will be there shortly and I tell them to meet me at the mall entrance. I have no intention of returning to the grocery store and plan on using my brother and sister-in-law as my escape route. When they finally arrive, my sister-in-law takes the baby and says that she is happy to have her daughter back and thanks me for taking care of her. I jump into their mini-van and tell my brother to floor it, but he just stares at me blankly and asks me if I have to get back to work. (*facepalm*) I call him an idiot and tell him to drive and when he protests my sister-in-law also gets on his case until finally he drives away from the mall.

I am both excited and apprehensive. I wonder how long it is before Cathy figures out I got away and hope to get as far away as I can before then. My brother drives along a road that follows the ocean. The sky is overcast and grey it is slightly foggy. We drive in silence for a long time before my sister-in-law asks how work was and I tell her about the perpetual slavery that the workers are forced to endure. My brother asks me something, but I forget what now, before suddenly swerving his mini-van off the road and into the ocean. The vehicle goes deep enough to fill halfway with water and get stuck in the sand, but not deep enough to sink and submerge the entire mini-van. My sister-in-law just gazes out the front window, cradling the baby, like nothing has happened. I feel extremely mortified that my brother is a complete moron, but cannot get a reason out of him when I demand to know why he has sabatoged my plan for escape. I know that now the mini-van has been disabled, I will eventually be found and sent back to work at the grocery store prison, and that makes me very frustrated and angry.

I am seeking treasure in a vast underground cavern. I am with two people: a tall, muscular man with a goatee and a young, blond woman who has several weapons in her belt. The three of us are not acquaintances, but are working together out of convenience. I cannot rememeber much from the beginning of the dream, but the three of us find our way to a large chamber filled with bubbling lava. There is a narrow metal walkway that leads to a square platform in the center of the room, but no platform beyond that which would lead to the platform and door on the far side of the lava chamber that we are convinced contains the treasure we are seeking.

My companions and I reach the center platform and see two glowing, circular blue tiles on it that seem to have no obvious function. We suddenly notice three sets of gymnast rings, beyond the center platform, that can be used to swing across to the far platform. When the three of us have done so, the young blond woman runs ahead and disappears through a door that I assume leads to the next chamber. I try to follow her but the large goateed man grabs me roughly by the shoulders and says that I am not needed anymore. He is very strong, so I cannot escape his grasp, and I begin to panic when he lifts me up and prepares to throw me into the lava.

He tosses me high and far and luckily I am able to grab the first set of rings and swing myself to the center platform. The man yells angrily at me but does not follow. I do not consider why he does not follow until I am in the middle of the narrow walkway when the blond woman appears in the doorway that we first came through. I have no idea how she circled around behind me but I am more concerned with the gun that she is brandishing in her hand. I run back towards the center platform and try to figure out what to do next. The woman makes her way down the narrow walkway and I get the idea to stand on one of the blue tiles. When I do so the narrow walkway sinks into the lava and takes the now screaming woman down with it. I can hear the man behind me using the rings to come towards me so I step on the other blue tile and the rings detatch from their teathers and the man too falls screaming into the lava.


I cannot remember anymore of this dream.

I had this dream during an afternoon nap. Though I refer to Shari as a friend in this dream we are, in fact, not friends anymore and have not been for some time.


I am following my friend Shari down the road, she is looking unusually radiant. For some reason she is carrying a large set of industrial pliers. We ran into each other on the street and for some reason Shari is insistant that I come and see her new place. Though her apartment exists within the city, the three storey, red brick building itself is surrounded by lush trees and thick, green grass. I wonder at how she can afford a apartment in such a nice building, but when Shari opens the front door and invites me inside, I realize that the entire building is one apartment. The inside is very modern and beautifully decorated, and everything looks brand new. Shari's mother and sister are sanding and painting the veranda windows just outside the kitchen, and they look confused when they see me, as they know that Shari and I are no longer friends. I am glad to notice that Shari's father is no where to be seen, and the three of them seem genuinely happy to have that abusive jerk out of their lives.

There are tools laying in the yard, their handles freshly painted bright oranges and bright reds. Shari asks if I can help working on the place and even though I cannot see anything that needs to be done, I agree. I know that I do not like Shari anymore, but I am happy to help her out if it makes her continue to feel happy, and she truly does seem happy and carefree in her new apartment. Still holding the set of pliers, Shari heads upstairs to work on something on the second floor. I don't really know what to do and just kind of stand around with my hands in my pockets for a while. I eventually notice something loose on the kitchen ceiling and grab a freshly painted wrench from the lawn outside. I get orange paint on my hands as I work, but when I have completed the task, I try and smooth out the paint on the tool's handle to make it look like it had not been smeared. I then place the wrench back where I found it.

When Shari comes back down the stairs, I point out what I fixed and how I smudged the paint on her orange handled wrench. She is not amused and becomes all indignant, even after I apologize and offer to repaint the handle. She claims that "it is ruined now," and there is no point in trying to salvage it. I feel that she is being unreasonable and is trying to guilt trip me into feel bad, so I not-so-politely tell her to do something obscene to herself and start to walk away. Shari then screams at me that I did not deserve to see her apartment and I just laught at her and respond that while her apartment is nice, she does not deserve it have it.


The dream ends there.

This dream takes place in my grade 7 classroom at my old public school. While architectually the same, the teacher's desk is in the south side of the room, rather than the north, and a large chalkboard hangs on the east wall. The class has many students in it, but everyone is in their late teens and much too old to be attending public school. I do not recognize anyone in the dream from waking life. The teacher is not my grade 7 teacher, Ms. A.J. but an aging lady that looks very much like the librarian from the 1984 Ghostbusters movie, played by Alice Drummond, though she is short in stature and condesending in attitude.


The students are scattered about the classroom, or sitting outside in the courtyard, reading books. The teacher is going through papers on her desk and ignoring the students. I am sitting outside, away from the other students, under the large tree in the courtyard, enjoying the bright sun and warm breeze. While every other student seems to be reading fiction novels, I think I am the only student to have a non-fiction book (something about nature, but I cannot recall about what exactly). A young woman with long, dark brown hair sits beside me under the tree. She asks what I am reading and when I tell her she becomes elated because she has a book on the same subject. We discover that we have a lot in common. I am very happy to have a new friend, as I seem to not be able to get along with the other students, and the two of us talk for a long time.

The sky turns orange as the sun begins to set and the warm breeze suddenly carries an uncomfortable chill. The students in the courtyard are called inside and told, along with the rest of the class, that we are going to spend the night in school. The students are divided up into groups and put in different classrooms for the night. I am put in the group that gets to stay in the grade 7 classroom and I am happy to learn that my new friend is also in my group. I never learn her name in the dream but she looks exactly like Tifa Lockheart from Final Fantasy 7 so that is what I will call her from now on.

There are seven people in our group; three female students, three male students, and the teacher. Buy the time we move the tables to the south end of the room it is dark outside and we are instructed to go to sleep. I place my dark blue sleeping bag along the west wall, so that I may tilt my head back slightly and gaze at the stars through the window, and Tifa takes a spot on my left. The other female student places her sleeping bag on my right, while the boys line their gear along the east wall. The teacher sets up her stuff near the door, in the northeastern corner of the classroom. While everyone has flannel pajamas, the only night clothing I can find in my backpack are a bright red, short-sleeved t-shirt and a pair of white panties. I crawl into my sleeping bag and change clothes under the covers, much too embarassed to expose any skin in front of the others in the room. I am feeling extremely self-conscious and not only zip up my sleeping bag all the way, but pull the covers over my head. I eventually fall asleep.

I do not know what time it is when I am awakened by Tifa leaning up against me. I think nothing of it because I know that many people kick and flop around in their sleep, so I roll over on my right side and try to go back to sleep. An arm wraps itself around my waist underneath the covers and I am surprised and confused because I am positive that I completely zipped up my sleeping bag before falling asleep. I roll over on my back, to see if I can push Tifa in the direction of her spot, and it is only then that I realize my t-shirt and panties are missing and I am naked. Feelings of embarrassment and self-consciousness flood back and I am paralyzed with anxiety. I am aware that Tifa is awake at this point, because she discreetly slips into my sleeping bag with me. Though it is pitch black and I cannot see anything, my other senses are picking up on everything that my eyes fail to catch in the dark.

The following portion of this dream becomes very sexually explicit - and some parts have been... watered down, so to speak - because I do not wish to be banned from DV for obscenity. It has also been hidden just in case. Please do not click the "Show" button if you are offended by sexual situations.

Spoiler for mature content. (Not actually a spoiler, I just found this option convienient for masking mature content.):

I am nervous, but not afraid, even as Tifa lifts her pajama top and presses her exposed upper body against my left side. My anxiety alleviates as my friend rests her head on my shoulder and begins to gently caress my belly. I eventually feel comfortable enought to rest my left hand on Tifa's thigh and when I do so, her hand begins exploring other parts of my body. Though I am breathing heavier and feeling overheated and slightly dizzy, it feels genuinely good to be touched in the ways that Tifa is doing. She takes off her pajamas and slides on top of me, bracing herself with her left hand and exploring my body with her right. I can feel her hot breath on my cheek as I caress her in return. There is a hot, pulsating sensation in my lower abdomen that I have never experienced before and it feels like I am flying. Tifa suddenly pushes her pelvis against mine and kisses me hard on the lips. No longer able to contain the feelings of euphoria, I shudder and moan out loud.

That was a mistake, because several of the other people in the room stir. Tifa and I both panic. She scrambles off me and dives back into her sleeping bag. Feelings of self-conscious anxiety and fear of embarrassment threaten to paralyze me once again, but I am able to move my arms around in a desperate attempt to locate my missing night clothes. I cannot find them, as it is far too dark, and instead bury myself in my sleeping bag. I cannot sleep because anxiety keeps me awake and I instead wait for the crack of dawn to lighten the classroom, at which time I dig my day clothes out from my backpack and fully dress myself in a heavy sweater and jeans. Even several hours after the panic of being caught set in, I am still feeling expremely nervous, as well as feeling worn out after spending those many waking hours berating myself for being a fool. I am fully convinced that not only were the other people in the room awake, but they had been listening to Tifa and I the whole time and knew exactly what had been going on. I had no idea how I was going to face the embarrassment of the on coming school day.

I eventually fall asleep again and when I wake up the first thing I do is look at the clock on the south wall. It is exactly 7 a.m. The teacher rouses the students not long after that and my 8 a.m. the sleeping gear has been put away and the classroom returned to normal. Though no one said anything to us, I got the impression that some of the students either knew or suspected something because I caught several of them throwing glaces in my direction or snickering when I waked by. I was hoping to draw some comfort from Tifa, but she, just as embarrassed as I, distanced herself and sat on the opposite side of the classroom as I, though she did throw me the occassional sympathetic glace. I was not angry with the way Tifa chose to deal with the situation, though I was feeling a little hurt (though I probably should not have been feeling so, since it is unfair to expect emotional reliance from someone I just met).

The teacher brought out art and craft supplies and told us to make something reflecting how we were feeling that day. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, though I knew I was upset, I just did not know how to express it. The teacher also put on a movie for us to watch while we worked on our craft projects. It was the old black and white film, the Seven Samurai, by Akira Kurosawa. The teacher than glared at me for a moment, before leaving the classroom to do whatever she had to do. I was not interested in either the craft project, or the movie, and just sat their for the whole time staring out the window. I still felt embarrassed about the night before, though it was occuring to me that the likelihood of people knowing what happened was very slim and I was just being paranoid.

When the film credits were rolling, a man of about thirty years of age, carrying a clip board and wearing thick, black framed glasses, came into the classromm and asked Tifa and I to join him in his office. As we got up to leave the rest of the students began jeering at us openly. At the man's office on the otherside of the school, he got right to the point and asked each of us if we were sexually active with each other, or anyone else in the school. Tifa and I blurted out our answers at the same time: she confirming it, and I denying it. The man then sarted asking us details of what was done and though he said it was for our health's sake, my suspicion that he was just getting off on listening to our encounter was confirmed when he asked us to demonstrate. Tifa seems prepared to do so, but I felt uncomfortable and unsafe and ran out of the office before anxiety could overwhelm me again.


The dream ends there. This is the most vivid dream I have ever had. I tried to get as much detail in without being too "wordy." I have major body issues and sexuality has always been a huge source of anxiety and insecurity for me, so it is unusual for me to have not only a sexually explicit dream, but one that was so vivid. Though they are far and few between, all of my conscious sexual fantasies have involved men, as I have never found myself sexually attracted to women, so I do not know why I was comfortable with feeling sexual towards a woman in the dream.

I did not realize it while in the dream, but the number 7 seems to appear quite a bit throughout. I have no idea what to think of this dream, let alone how to interpret it.

I cannot remember the beginning of this dream but there was quite a bit about wandering around outside in a semi-arid setting. I was travelling with three women I do not know in what looked like a camp ground. Despite the dry arid atmosphere, there were many thick, dark green coniferous trees about - enough almost to classify the area as a forest in my opinion. I do not recall much detail about the appearance of the three women except the two were slightly younger than I (and one was wearing a pink, wool sweater) and the oldest woman was about middle aged and had short dark brown hair. The four of us walked for a while, seemingly lost in the desert forest the three women conversed with each other, but I lagged behind and was content to just enjoy the setting, though as we walked a growing apprehension developed in my mind and I found myself wanting to be in the company of my parents because I suddenly felt very vunerable and child-like.

I had not noticed that she had gone, but the oldest woman of the group suddenly turned a corner, driving a red four door car that looked like a Glendale from the Grand Theft Auto videogame series. I never got her actual name in the dream, but from this point on I refer to the oldest woman of the group as Glenda. I never learn the names of the other two women. Glenda tells us to get in and I make myself confortable in the rear rightside passenger seat. The young woman in the pink, hand-knit sweater sits in the left side and I notice at this point that she has shoulder length blond hair. I think that she looks like Cagalli Yula Athha from the Gundam Seed anime series.

The three women continue to talk amongst themselves but I roll down my window and am content to just stare outside, wondering where my parents are. Glenda drives along a lone dirt road out of the desert forest, heading east, and we travel for a long time with nothing in sight. Soon however there is a wooden ramp a head of us and though it appears that we could drive around it, Glenda is determined to jump the ramp. She floors the accelerator and we speed towards the jump, and I feel that this is a very bad idea. I cling to the Cagalli look-alike and she does the same to me. Everyone in the car is afraid of the worst happening and I cannot talk Glenda out of stopping the car or just driving around the ramp. The red four-door car is heavy and though it hits the wooden ramp at a fair speed and level angle, the vehicle inexplicably flips in mid air, crashes on the roof and slides upside down for a short distance.

The four of us are able to crawl out of the wreck, and though we are dazed, no one is seriously injured. Glenda is quick to rally the other two girls into following her again by saying something like "the Arizona border isn't far now," or something, but I am not interested in joining them. While they continue along the dirt road heading east, I notice something in the southernly direction that looks like a group of small buildings or tents. It is hazy because of the heat and I cannot tell if what I am looking at is real or an optical illusion, but I start walking in that direction anyway. It is very hot and I take off my overshirt and wrap it around my head as I walk.

As I get closer to my destination I can see that it is some sort of outdoor event taking place infront of a large gothic styled building which I think at first much be a medieval church or something. There are stone pillars through the square, as well as consession stands and booths selling various consumer goods. There are many people casually browsing the things for sale or sitting on the many marble benchs scattered about. I am aching from the car crash and walk to the center of the bustle so see if I can find anyone I know. I look over my right shoulder and through the throng of people and booths I can see a Texaco gas station and feel drawn towards it. As I try to make my way there, my dad walks by infront of me and heads over to a coffee stand nearby. He did not notice me as he walked by and does not respond when I call out to him. I am sore and feeling needy and want sympathy because I was in an accident, but my dad completely ignores me as if I am not even there. He orders to hot drinks and walks toward a picnic table in the far end of the square, where my mom is sitting. I unwrap the overshirt from my head and follow my dad over to the table and try to get my parents attention, but again they do not respond. My anxiety increases and I desperately try yelling at them again they do not respond. What adds to my frustration is that I do not know if they cannot actually hear me, or if they are willfully ignoring my pleas for attention.

I briefly become lucid as I acknowledge that this is how it feels my parents treat me in real life, but I do not gain control of the dream because I feel rejected and psychologically exhausted.

Though I know they will still ignore me if I return to their company, I still desperately crave attention and affection from my parents - but it hurts too much to feel non-existant, so I head over to the large gothic style building and see if I can find a pillar or wall to hide behind. As I get closer to the building I notice that one of the huge wooden doors is slightly ajar. I make sure no one is looking and slip through the opening. While it looks like a midieval church on the outside, the interior looks much more like an elaborate palace. Lush carpets line the expansive halls; gold and jewels are woven into every decoration and peice of art; massive crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings. I stand in awe for a moment, drinking in the magnificent excess of extravagance, until I hear footfalls coming from an adjacent room or hall near the entrance. Because the sound seems to be coming from behind me, I run away from the front doors and deeper into the mansion.

There seems to be some sort of party going on as in each room I pass I can hear people laughing and having fun, though the doors are closed and I cannot see anyone. I turn down one hall and almost trip over a stack of gifts wrapped in colourful papers and ribbons. Down another hall I find a long legless table with row upon row of crystaline bowls filled with either chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Because the hall is not air-conditioned, most of the ice cream is melting, and because the table has no legs and is effectively sitting on the floor, much of the melting ice cream is soaking into the lush red carpet. I walk through a set of doors beyond the legless table and find myself in watch appears to be a dinning hall. The place is set up as if to recieve and dine many guests, but I do not see anyone around. I can hear commotion from an adjacent room and hear a woman say something about "having the place ready for the afternoon guests." I quickly run through the room to a narrow hall on the other side. As I make my deeper into the mansion, a feeling of apprehension develops inside of me and I feel as if I am not suppost to be there.

I enter into a hall with a stairs to the left, a large open kitchen infront of me and a set of double doors to my right. There are cooks in white aprons, waiters in red jackets, and maids in black dresses all rushing around trying to get their jobs done. People do look in my direction, but no one stops what they are doing to say anything about the interloper. I stand in the middle of the hall and notice someone coming down the stairs in the corner of my left eye. A waiter with short black hair is slowing making his way down the stairs and he is holding something I cannot see in his left hand. He makes a funny face and then smiles at me, clearly trying to make me laugh. I do laugh, but try to stifle it with my hand and it is then that I notice that I am wearing a red waiter jacket like the man on the stairs. I am still afraid that I am going to get in trouble because I am not suppost to be there, but being near the man on the stairs seems to make me feel a bit calmer for some reason. Another waiter appears from behind me, carrying a silver tray full of silver dishes, walks past us and mutters to the waiter on the stairs to "leave the new girl alone," or something. The man on the stairs just gives him annoyed look. An aging woman with a scowl for a facial expression, wearing a long black Victorian-era dress and her gray hair up in a bun, appears in the kitchen entrance way and I only get to make brief eye-contact with her when the dream ends.


I think I can sum this dream up quite easy: anxiety about relations with my parents and anger about the emotional neglect I experienced in childhood.

This dream starts off in my hometown of London, Ontario. I am on the way from my parent's house to my new apartment on Adelaide Street. For some reason I am in the country side west of the city. An unnumbered city bus comes along and I get on, but I cannot find my transfer. I can find transfers from several days before, but not the one for today. Only after going through ever pocket on my person do I find today's transfer crumpled up in my left hand. The bus driver sighs with impatience as I hurridly take a seat, red faced from embarrassment but relieved. Despite being out in the country side, but bus is packed and everyone on board seems scruffy or rugged, like they have been camping outdoors for a long time. They are all men and seem to be all staring at me and I feel a bit creeped out and threatened.

The bus drives into the city, to the edge of downtown then suddenly stops. The driver tells all of the passengers to get off and promplty drives away as soon as we have done so. I walk down the main road, Dundas Street, for a while before deciding to wait at a bus terminal in front of a white multi-storey building that I do not recognize from waking life. I am expecting the Dundas bus to come along, but after a short wait, the Adelaide Street bus shows up instead. Though I am confused as to why it is the Adelaide and not the Dundas, I happily board the bus, hoping it will take me straight to my apartment.

The bus pulls away from the terminal and passes a group of asian men standing in the middle of the street, waving various melee weapons around and shouting loudly. I cannot hear what they are saying, but the majority of the noise comes from a man wearing a blue hooded sweater over a white t-shirt. He is waving a hunk of wood around and seems to be directing his anger at random pedestrians on the street. I feel the atmosphere change and everything seems suddenly darker, eeiry and inexplicably desolate. The bus suddenly slows down and stops. A burned out pickup truck, and a pile of damaged cars, is blocking the road and there is no way around. The bus driver manages to turn the bus around and starts heading back to the bus terminal.

As we pass the group of angry asian men, the one in the blue sweater, waving the hunk of wood, pulls out a pistol from his waistline and opens fire on a group of people who have gathered by the side of the road to watch the commotion. The first shot hits a woman holding a baby and the crowd panics and scatters as she goes down. As the man begins randomly firing at the running people, the other men in his group start attacking people with their melee weapons. The bus driver floors the gas pedal and tries to drive away from the ensuing chaos, but a large military truck pulls directly infront of us and forces the bus to stop. The doors are opened and the passengers make a run for it. I run towards the white multi-storey building, with the intention of hiding in it or behind it, but asian men in military uniforms start appearing between and around the buildings. At first I mistaken them for London's Area Support Unit, but it becomes apparent very quickly that these military personnel are foriegn and hostile. I run towards central downtown but it seems that the entire area is surrounded by this mysterious invading army of asian origin.

Many people are captured, myself included, and forced to sit together in large groups with hands behind heads. People who do not comply, or who try to escape, are shot on sight. When the street is overcrowded with captured prisioners, the armed guards start herding us into the large white multi-storey building by the bus terminal. The inside is decorated in bright red fabrics and paints and seems to be a giant theater of some sort. The ceiling is open for several storeys up and the parameter of each floor seems to be made up of box seats, except for the ground floor, which is bare tile like a gymnasium. The prisoners are forced to sit on the floor and face a large screen on the west wall. The military men start playing some sort of propaganda film about their greatness or their great leader or something, but I cannot follow it because it is not in english and I am being distracted by several fat white male prisioners who insistantly try to stand up and show their private parts to the rest of the captives. Their penises are very small or severely deformed but I am finding great amusement in their last acts of bravado, as it seems to really piss off the armed guards.

I suddenly notice an unguarded electrical socket to my right. I descreetly pull the plug and hope that I am shot quickly if I am caught. I have no idea what pulling the pull will do and I am surprised when not only does the propaganda film end, but the electricity to the entire building goes out. The invading asians go into a frenzy trying to maintain control of the prisioners while trying to sort out what is going on. Some captives manage to sneak out in the darkness, while others are caught and executed, but the majority stays put in fear and confusion. Whe the emergency lights come on, the invading army is still a bit frenzied and there is a commotion outside. A man I assume is a commander of the army comes in and motions half of the armed guards to follow him outside.


I cannot remember anymore of this dream.