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Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

I am in a basement. There are a series of 3 rooms next to one another, used for sexual activity. We are 3 couples coming out of each of these, though I am unsure if I am with someone at this point. From the 3 rooms we enter into a larger room and head towards a door on the right hand side.

We are talking about a larger sex assemble which is to take place in a bit. I know I won't be participating and I think there is another woman who won't either and so while I am exiting the room I look over my left hand shoulder to spot and make sure that the woman is leaving the room with me.

4-5 people go back into the room, while the woman and I remain in the adjacent room. This room is darkly illuminated. There is a sofa and an oblong coffee table next to a dividing wall that separate the larger floor plan into two major rooms – where we have just been in the other one. From the point of view of the sofa, which is located at the centre of the dividing wall there is a small kitchenette up to the right, right next to a door that leads into a room I never see, but notice that a fairly bright white light is flowing from it.

As we all walk out for a break the woman who is also not participating in the group session – she is very skinny, with shoulder length hair and is wearing loose beige (?) trousers and a dark green t-shirt, she is a head or two shorter than I – tell me in an asking tone “Is it ok if we don't have sex but just cuddle up a bit.” “Sure” I reply, a tad disappointed, but not a lot.

We sit down in the sofa in our separate corners. She lies down with her head in my lap and flick on the television, which is over right next to the kitchenette on the left hand side – opposite the door with the white light. The first channel is a two way channel – which is intended to show the other room what is happening in ours and we will be allowed what is happening in the other room. The woman tries to flick through the channels – at first we seem to be stuck on the channel we start out with – but when we finally get going there seems to be porn on all the channels. After having flicked through a couple we settle on the two way channel.

At this the woman turns frisky and direct her attention towards me, she turns her head upwards and kiss me, gently at first but with increasing vigour. We both start opening our mouths more and more and eventually I feel the cold sore at my left corner of my mouth rip open, a typical searing pain and a slight sensation of moisture, but I don't care I continue to dive into the kiss – feeling excited and horny as hell. Eventually I start adjusting my body posture, trying to roll with the woman into the motion of getting down into a laying down position – thinking yes, nice a sexual encounter is in the making. She reacts fiercely standing up in the sofa and starts rearranging the pillows in the sofa. At first I think she is making more room for our endeavours, but I soon understand.

“Traitor!” she proclaims “We had an agreement!” she continues.
“Yes, and I was going to keep it, but..” I reply.
“You can't be trusted!” She interrupts. She doesn't seem to understand that I really didn't mind not engaging in a sexual encounter but that I was fully open to do so if that is what she wanted. The situation had evolved from her desire and her initiative.

Feeling it is a lost battle I simply place myself in a tailors position in my end of the sofa and look her in the eyes – she has deep brown eyes. She starts talking about something that happened to her with her dad.

Sensing that it is a recurring pattern I ask her;

“So did this or something similar happen with your dad before?” I ask, sensing there is something like a fear of flying.
“There was an accident” she goes on – at this point the conversation is blurry to my memory – and she explains that either something similar happened at the age of 6, or later at the age of 21 – but essentially she is either saying that something happened before or after, with the other age representing the first event we were talking about. She starts looking rather pale, and slightly taken aback, I can see the surprise in her eyes that I am willing to sit back and talk therapeutically with her despite her recent judgement of me as being a traitor – which might actually refer to a generalisation of men she has developed.

We are interrupted at the conclusion of the sexual adventure happening behind us. There is a large window, with large black curtains obstructing the view. I start becoming aware of sounds from inside there, just a few moments before they enter the room we are sat in. I get a feeling of some sadomasochistic adventures happening and feel a slightly forced disinterest in knowing about the details.

When the people come out and start making their way towards the kitchenette, Jackie comes over to sit down, as well as a black man with long dreadlocks, though his hair isn't as greasy as you would expect from this hair style. I feel slightly embarrassed as I am no longer wearing my trousers and pants, though I still have my long woollen socks on. The black dude knocks me on my shoulder, and Jackie comes over with a glass of Orange juice and playfully say “Ahh it is good to see you asking for so much to drink” referring to it being a typical expression of recently having had sex and also to the glass of water I had drunk just a little beforehand.

I have a blanket covering my genital area, which helps with the embarrassment, but I also feel deceitful for the others misjudging the activity me and the woman were engaging in. From the kitchenette they start talking about their fascination with a flail-like whip, which is what they plan on using next.

I feel a strong urge to get out of there and I start making my way towards the doorway out, which is on the left hand side – leading into a small stairway, which is gloomily lit and dark green.

There is a slight skip.

I am now outside. I am walking down a road, there are trees and hedges along the side walk, and it is sloping downwards as I am walking down on the left hand side. It is dark outside, it seems wet and somewhat windy as well, it is raining. The light from the street lights seems gloomy and contains no warmth.

I continue walking downwards, having a conversation with Ronan, though he isn't actually present. We are talking about the option of setting up a company each, for 5 kroner, and then swapping companies – somehow this is relating to the treatment centre I am about to start up – and I am surprised he agrees. I recall something about a Facebook conversation where we were chatting and we came to the conclusion that the only thing we might have in common is Aesthetic taste, but that this might be cause enough to meet up anyway.

- this is relating to an earlier dream I had, the conversation took place at a street close to where I lived previously, lots of yellow building about, during the daylight. I recall the trouble of typing during this dream.

As I am walking along during this mental/technological conversation I come across a tent. It reminds me of the attached tent of a caravan. It is dark blue and from behind the plastic windows a greyish and eerie light shines through. I am aware of the strings that hold the tent in place, as they are extending out to the road blocking the path of the side walk forcing me to walk around them.

I am still heading down the road when I become aware of my shoes – they are getting wet and I wonder why I am wearing my slippers outside in this god forsaken weather. I look up and to my left and see the state library – rising above the darkness of the tree lines, with only a hint of the light of the street lights reaching the top like an ominous tower. I feel an increasing sense of unease, but carry on downwards.

Not long after this the water levels are rising and I feel like I know the bottom of the road will be completely flooded, blocking path to get home. I look up and back over my right hand shoulder and spot the road I can take which will also take me home. I turn around and start walking backwards. I feel like my vision is starting to slip – like fade completely – and I become increasingly afraid that I will loose my sight completely. At the same time I start feeling intoxicated, like proper drunk and my movements become erratic and unbalanced and I desperately reach out grasping for the strings of the tent for support. And while I find them and grab them they can do little for me as my balance continues to deteriorate. I think it is a bit weird as I didn't drink a lot back at the porn complex, but I can feel that I have definitely breached all levels of safe intoxication. My conscious perception seems to turn into a series of broken mosaics, as if invisible lines of fractures appear before my visual and spatial perceptive capacities.

I become so scared at the rising water levels and my continued diminishing balance and think to myself “Shit I could actually drown in this state. I am a poster boy of how not to get drunk.” While entertaining this thought fear levels keep rising, and then boom – I step into a pothole that is maybe a metre and a half deep and find myself too drunk to get loose – fear becomes panic as I struggle to get free.

The rain keeps falling the water is murky, brown like the colour of mud and there are multiple pieces of foliage, sticks and branches adrift on the watery road.

Finding myself terrified and sure of my death, I wake up.

Immediate interpretation: The cold sore bit was hugely disturbing to me as I woke up and is referring to a situation with Karen recently, where I knowingly kissed her before telling her that I had it. I became immediately aware that I am not completely free of selfish tendencies, which is also related to the knowledge that when I am practising so much self control during sex, I am liable to release more pre-cum, which of course increase the risk of pregnancy during unprotected sex. Knowledge I have kept to myself. It symbolise how I have been willing to put my own selfish needs in front of both her and our needs, a tendency I was deeply ashamed of upon awakening.

The black curtain shielding the view of the other room in the dungeon represents a boundary – black, the colour of nothing – meaning that while I am intrigued with exploring new aspects of my sexuality there are still areas I don't find meaningful to explore. Only if I fear exploring it does it make sense to do so, though this is not a fear based response – it is simply not interesting to me.

My interaction with the woman represents some of my concerns with Karen – that she asks for space, and then also take initiative for sex. It represents my confusion with it all, but also my willingness to take up the role required for her personal growth. The tad dissapointment could represent my feeling of repressing my sexual advances towards her to accommodate her need for space.

The interaction with my embarrassment regarding the others who assume we have had sex, while we haven't I believe represent the uneasiness I have felt in describing my relation to Karen to the outside world. I am trying my best to avoid putting labels on it, and while I don't find this a problem in our personal relation or when talking to people who frequent Tantric environments it is difficult to describe this mode of being in a relation to “old” friends and family who are not participating in this new-found spiritual journey I find myself on. I am somewhat afraid of what Karen thinks – if she would prefer I don't mention her at all, though that would violate my need to be open about what is important and meaningful in my life.

The drowning in the puddle represents – I looked this up as well, I was aware of the meaning of water representing unconscious emotions surfacing – that I might be forcing the issue. Before looking up the theme I thought to myself “Hmm now you have invited her into your inner most private world, of course we dive straight into the dark side – as represented by the cold sore bit”. I then looked it up and it could mean that I am forcing unconscious feelings to the surface prematurely, which makes sense against my immediate thoughts on the matter. It might make sense to keep certain dreams or aspects of my dreams private – it is ironic that we have talked so much about giving and asking for space and we then end up attempting to dream share, effectively eliminating space between us entirely – however as I was awake and praying for the spiritual purification of selfish tendencies I also felt that it made sense to dive into this, as she could help me face the issues and as such transcend them.

Having looked up a variety of dream themes I am increasingly aware of the truly wide variation of what people interpret stuff to mean, which has led me to the conclusion that it is primarily the immediate interpretation that matters. When I am baffled by a theme, object, colour or person I will look it up as and when needed and find the one that resonates most clearly with me. I also think this is a great way to start working on making symbolisms of dreams more translatable and better capable of communicating clearly between the two states of consciousness. Also regarding the privacy I spoke with Karen, and it dawned on me that some dreams can only be understood when analysed against other dreams or contextual events, which might necessitate “sitting” on them for a while as already mentioned.

25.12.2015

Dog Invades Orange Juice Filled Garage (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m inside a garage that’s open, and there’s this dog that’s a Rottweiler/Pitbull mix with brown being its dominate color. At first, it’s not really lethal whatsoever, and I would infer that if it weren’t for certain actions, it just wanted to play with me, and whoever was around at the time.

I felt anxious around it, and tried to move slowly, and hopefully get myself inside the house to shut the door. The only time it ever portrayed an aggressive disposition was when some random dream character had some blue gloves that can shoot triangular, metal sheets at it. And when it did portray aggressiveness, it wasn’t able to jump towards the right person; it felt delayed and infantile.

The garage eventually is filled quarter way with orange juice, or some kind of yellow-orange substance. I eventually get out, and trapped the dog inside a closet somewhere. I can see a glimpse of its visage before shutting the door, and it looks sad.

_________________________

25.12.2015

The Rice Terrorists & Toy Snake (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

So, I’m trying to get a tire quota filled up by driving into random vehicles, and automatically fixing their tires when I’m within a certain distance to them. The experience is quite fast paced, and the two colors that are dominate are brown, and dirty, golden yellow.

I eventually get on one of the vehicles, or I’m transitioning there for some unknown reason, and I see that I’m caught at an impasse. There are several men in guerrilla soldier uniforms that are threatening to kill anyone that tries to move suddenly. One of them that looks like the leader is holding a glass container with some dirty rice, or raisin rice.

And I kid you not, he takes one of his hands, and lists up the black spoon, and utilizes an earnest disposition that he really means it when he’ll kill someone if they move. Apparently, the rice has flies, or some kind of insects inside of it that when a person eats it, I guess they die from some parasitic interaction.

So, I defy logic, and I’m abruptly shifted into a different dream environment where it’s nighttime, and I’m catapulted into a bed. I lie down for a bit, and noticed myself looking at the ceiling for some reason. I think I hear some voices in the background, and maybe a voice talking to me very closely. I look at a faded, sepia colored piece of paper that seems enigmatic at first, but I realized it gave me some shocking plot twist.

Apparently, I was the one that was the snake all this time, metaphorically speaking, and the moment I realized this, a toy snake materializes from the same paper, and onto the bed. I grab the green and yellow striped snake with my left hand, and started to duck for cover around the sides of the bed I was on. I’m not sure why I’m utterly shocked over this realization, but whatever the case, I needed to hide. I saw some entities coming their way through the small hallway in front of me, but only their silhouettes.

I was on an orange plantation, fighting for a glass of orange juice. This big fat guy showed up. I kept on trying to punch him in the stomach but he would just shrug it off and try to hit me back.

At one point I jumped into the air and hooked my leg around his neck and pulled him down. (I don't really know how that works, but it sure looked cool.) I ended up beating him and getting the orange juice. [Dream Logic] The orange juice was laced with powerful magic and granted you longevity and superhuman strength to whoever drank it. [/Dream Logic]

...

I was on either a bus or a train with my family. It had the feeling of one of a school bus like I used to ride back in the day. We were not allowed to have drinks other than water and I knew that the driver had a mirror. So I had to hide it beneath a seat and duck down when I wanted to take a drink.

The dream kept changing between a bus and a train.

...

It turned out we were going to see the Dali Lama, along with many other people. We were all sitting in this big cafeteria room. It gave the vibe of a ski resort because the entire building was made from logs. Everyone was given vegan meals for some reason. My plate was basically just lettuce and sliced tomatoes.

The weird part was, the food was really good. But for some reason I decided that I was going on a hunger strike and wasn't going to eat any more of it.

Some other people started up an eating contest to see who could eat the most of the vegan food.

...

Edward Elric was involved somehow.

Spoiler for Interpretations:

Er... um... eat healthy?

Why do I dream so much of DCs starting up eating contests?

19.09.2014

Zaheer and Ghazan Want to Pro-Bend with Korra (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Now that I look back at this dream, this could be hinting how my mind would interpret how Season 4 of Korra would turn out, but in a very, very, very vague way. In other words, it seems to relate to the short clip of the sneak peek for season 4, episode 1 where:

[spoiler]Has a nightmare from a past event where Zaheer literally almost took her breath away in their final fight in season 3[/spoiler]

This dream was filled with unexpected behavior from dream characters to the point where it was difficult to comprehend, and cope with the sporadic changes in plot and anticipation. It turned out to be something lighthearted in the end, despite what happened before that, and it made me speculate on why I was having the dream in the first place.

I’m not too sure on how things start out, but I can recall Korra having the disposition where she seems to be in a state of helplessness. Judging by what she was saying to herself, and how I seem to be feeling her emotions as well, she feels as if she’s a pariah. In other words, there’s something she did where if she tried to go back to her homeland, or just anywhere in general that she’s been to most of her life, she would be treated as an outcast, and ostracized as well.

And the more I imagine myself in her position, I realized that this dream could’ve been mixed with another experience. I’m not too sure on it being a separate dream altogether, but it felt like it could be meshed together with this one. This little experience was simply me waking up at night, and finding a huge bottle of orange juice that looks similar to this:

I pick it up, and I feel like I have to give this to someone, and in my head, I’m getting images of someone wearing a pink jacket with a skinny body composition, and almost frail entirely, but seems to be able to operate just fine on her own.

Whatever happened next, it somehow went back to the whole Korra related theme. Korra has nowhere to go, and Zaheer and Ghazan take advantage of her state of helplessness to convince her to join them somehow. I don’t know what they were going to use as leverage, seeing how she wasn’t set to just be at their beck and call, but whatever it was, it made her plan to go to them.

The rendezvous point was located at a high elevated area that could be akin to the helicopter landing stations, except it wasn’t clear to me if there were any big markings as indicators for this. The dream environment was sunset by now, and this seemed to be foreshadowing the climatic, and anticlimactic events to occur. I went through an elevator before Korra, and anyone else could get there, and I feel like I was just some wandering soul navigating and analyzing the parameters of the environment. I found something very peculiar about the elevator, and how it was raised just a few feet from the ground. I seem to be flying, or floating above the elevator, and was able to see through the top to see the interior, and even what was below as well.

I noticed that Zaheer, or somebody he was having connections with made a booby trap. There was some kind of pink padding concealing spikes from the ground. Which made me presume that if Korra happened to go back into the elevator from a high elevation, “faulty” wiring would make the elevator fall in rapid acceleration, which would probably be enough for the spikes to go through the flooring, and potentially kill her.

It seemed to be an obvious, but quite elaborative booby trap, but I took the chance to inform Korra, as if I’m suddenly astral projecting like Jinora, about what will happen to her is she goes through this path. I don’t know how I relay the message to her, but there’s a dream shift where I can see Mako, Korra, Zaheer, Ghazan, and maybe a few others I can’t recall too well.

They were facing each other, and Zaheer wanted to persuade Korra to join him and Ghazan. Korra declares that she isn’t interested, and Zaheer gives a general summary of her position in the world right now, and how she has no one to help her out at all. Korra’s visage changes from aggressive to feelings of being shocked as if what he’s declaring to her was the gut-wrenching truth. Though this seemed fairly predictable, and how things were turning out seemed to be related to how things went down in the Season 3 finale.

And what seemed to be a clash of emotions to be shifted into physical violence, it turns out Zaheer and Ghazan want her to be part of their team for pro-bending, or something very casual. This makes everyone stop in their tracks, and prompts me to just get out of this dream.

A friend said to me, "Here, drink this if you're about to go to sleep," as he hands me a glass of orange juice with pulp. I hadn't done any research on oranges potentiating dreams or anything of the like but I welcome new ideas. I drink about a cup directly before laying to sleep and my dream follows.

I'm driving a car with friends and the city lights streak past in contrast to the darkness. I smile as the car slowly fills with loud music and my most prized emotions follow. Freedom and unity comfort me in this scene and I long for my childhood; a time where these emotions ran rampant through my every day. Bliss is cut off and this pleasure comes to a screeching halt, inviting paranoia and manifesting claustrophobia. From the back seat a sharpened and short blade gleams in the street light. The next instant the blade is pressed against my throat and I'm enveloped in fear. I look into the rear view to see that the man holding the weapon is....Peter Stormare? I suppose I had been watching too much Prison Break. He is silent as he drags the blade across my skin and I brace myself for the worst pain I could imagine. Even though I didn't feel any pain, I felt my wet neck and showed myself my bloody hands as the scene is ripped away and replaced.

I found myself in a place that I could only describe as "space": an infinite blackness that stretched in all directions around me. A liquidesque silhouette in the distance was gazing upon me for a short while before it's complete transformation. A solid bone structure of a skull connected to spine started to become visible to me as I noticed the floating liquid was skin and it was being magnetically attracted to the skull and spine. It's hard to describe the rest of the transformation but the end result was a horrific, disfigured face with a fleshy spine-tail and large praying mantis-like blade arms. This abomination slithered through "space" slicing apart naked humans with ease and glee. The gruesome detail of these acts of violence was incredibly intense, as was my rising fear. The beast headed straight towards me as if the ripple effect of my fear had jolted him, suddenly. During his approach, I was shown the details of his expression: bloodlust and sheer insanity. I awoke before, what I assume would have been, my gruesome death in absolute terror. Good times!