All DJ Entries

2/6 2010
Awarness and logical thinking: medium

I took a nap after some spontanous reading in Exploring the world of lucid dreaming and dreamt about a DEILD, Im sure not I actully had one or if I was already dreaming.. but the lucidity was real!


For some reason I became aware that I was lying down and already in the early stages of SP, I could feel my body but couldnt hear any external sounds or recognize in any way that I was in a couch. Vibrations began and some humming sound could be heard while my body slowly started floating and I began seeing HI. I started reluctantly think bad thoughts and that something scary would appear but I tried to resist it and a picture of myself as a kid showed up which made me peaceful again and I entered the dream.

My sisters were sitting next to me as I had fully entered the dream in some kind of luxury hotel. I said hi and quickly moved on. I figured I'll go to the moon since I had been reading about shared dreaming on the moon recently. There were a few doors nearby so I just thought of the moon and made a kramer like entrance. I was very happy when I saw the desolate gray ground and starry sky, but it wasn't desolate at all as I looked a bit to the left. There was quite a few people standing by a lit up swimming pool, there was some kind of party on the moon. My friend showed up with a skateboard near the building that I just walked out of, I said hi to him and went on into another luxury building nearby. I thought of who I'd try to contact, I decided with Axel since we have the same time zone. (Here I failed to realize I was taking a nap thus making the timezones irrelevant).

There was alot of young people in the building, all dressed in ballroom clothes. My lucidity lowered a bit here when I saw all these beatiful girls but I snapped out of it and promised myself I wouldn't waste this LD on sex. So I just quickly grabbed someones breast and moved on. To ensure I wouldn't lose lucidity or the dream I kept rubbing my hands together a bit now and then. While I was walking I saw a guitar on the wall and figured since I cant play in waking life I should try in a dream. I had to do somekind of flip jump to reach it, it fell down and I started playing. First it sounded pretty good but not too long after I became as bad as I am in waking life. Still wanting to find someone in this crowded moon prom party I thought of using a cellphone to contact and right then my cellphone started ringing, I reached for it in my pocket but woke up. I was in the beginning of SP again, slow vibrations began but they stopped quickly and I woke up for real.

22.04.2010

House Party (DILD)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

"Do you hear that?"

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

The two men before me looked at each other, nodded, and began tearing away the old mansion wall. The sickly green wallpaper tore away easily enough. In fact, even the steel-lined vault-like wall was able to be pulled away, layer by layer, by these men who probably had some kind of super strength going on.

Once the last layer was pulled away, a faint sigh echoed slowly through the room. There, in the wall, amidst all the wooden studs and shredded insulation, lay a body. This girl had been contorted and stuffed into the walls long ago. And yet, while she was no longer alive, neither was she fully deceased. In a sickeningly quick motion this remnant of past transgressions twisted, pulled, and tore its way out of the wall. She was headed straight at me.

Mouth hung open, black wet hair strung about her face, and eyes as black as the darkest pits of hell, she lunged at me. Aghast, I take a step backwards, rationalizing the situation as I do. "It's okay," I tell the DCs around me, "She just wanted someone to know she was here." Obviously, this statement was more to help me than the lifeless characters about me, but it did its job. Smiling at the creature inches from my face, still uneasy, I turn away to rejoin the house party.

Time passes, and I find myself on a couch. For some reason, I turn around to see what's going on in the living space behind me. Many people I don't know are hanging out around a table, drinking, laughing, and socializing.

A bright flash pulsates through the room.

Suddenly, everyone around me had transformed into demonic monsters. Fire roared around them and licked the walls of the once pristine house. Everything was charred black and the red glow of the flames shone menacingly off the wide serrated tooth lined jaws of the patrons before me. In unison, they all turned toward me. Verily freaked the fuck out, I duck my head out of sight behind the couch. Still lucid, I do my best to recreate the flash that enabled this shift of perspective. Sure enough, a white light shoots through the room.

Everything was back to normal.

26.10.2009

Shindig (DILD)

★★★☆☆

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

It's a failed WILD attempt with some interesting results. As I drifted off to sleep some kind of entity who took on my appearance made its way into my body, fusing with me, gaining the ability to influence my actions. As I get out of bed, I'm in some kind of study high up inside some kind of skyscraper. Captain Malcolm Renolds bursts into the room. Examines me very quickly, realizes I've been compromised, and attacks me.

There are some fisticuffs, in which he explains my situation and how it's been affecting people all over the city. I go crazy and run at the window. I'm about to jump out of it, but I gain control of my actions through sheer force of will. No. This thing can't do anything to me if I don't let it. Mal sees I've gained control of whatever this thing was and invites me on a heist he's pulling later tonight at a local shindig.

Stuff happens, party ensues, heist occurs, they catch on, it's time to escape. Mal and other members of the crew all make it out just fine, leaving myself and some other people they recruited behind. We have a secondary escape plan. We enact it. A large military style float/watchtower/hovercraft comes out into the street in front of the mansion. We jump onto it as the tanks start to roll up. We manage to get past the first tank before they notice we aren't who they think we are. They start firing at us from all sides, and the chase begins. The craft is mostly earthbound, but it can makes small jumps over obstacles, which we use to help us evade a good number of our pursuers. Eventually we come to our secondary vehicle which we plan to use to escape. Unfortunately, it's attached to an underwater merry-go-round. We try to grab ahold of it with a large pole grabby thing, but soon enough we're surrounded. There's no way out.

"Fuck this." I turn on Hover and fly to nearby glass doors, my objective just inside.

"Hey, you can't do that! Stop it!" They yell at me. Whatever, this is just a dream; I can do what I'd like. I phase through the first set of glass doors no problem. Same thing with the second set. Now I'm in a room with the Mayor. He's playing a lottery game where he puts his card into a slot and out comes a fully scratched off ticket that is either a winning or losing card. I grab his card and shove it into a certain slot, that I knew would have a large payout. Out comes a card worth 100k. I think to myself, Hey, I could give myself a million dollar card if I wanted. I do it again, and out comes a million dollar card. Just what we came for.

I walk out to the standoff outside. Yell to everyone that there's free money to be had. They all clamor, trying to get into the room first. This frees up my companions. I give them the cards and tell them I'm off.

Dream starts off in my parent's house. I am about the age of 12 or 13 and home alone with my brother Ryan because my parents have gone out for the night. I am standing in the kitchen looking out the window to the driveway. A black pick up trucks pulls in. Several of my bother's friends get out and come to the door. I don't know why people are showing up to our house and go ask my brother and he says that he is having a party, and that if I go downstairs then I will know what he means.

I go downstairs to the den in the basement. The door is open to the computer room and I can see a table set up for many people to dine. Throughout the basement there is a stereo system and many wires crisscrossed across the room and hanging from the ceiling. Many of the wires are sparking and crackling. I go back up stairs to tell Ryan about the danger but he is too busy talking to his friends as they sit around the kitchen table. More friends of his arrive.

I am upset and tell Ryan that he's not supposed to have parties when mom and dad are not home but he tells me off and demands I go to my room. I try to blackmail him by saying that if he doesn't ask his friends to leave that I will tell mom and dad about how he hurt me as a child. He ignores me and goes downstairs with his friends and begins to dine, ignoring the sparking electrical wires. I go down as well to watch but feel helpless and angry.


Dream ends there.

I can only remember this dream in fragments.


I am in a house that is of my Aunt Estelle's house. The house is dark, but full of people like there is a party going on or something. I cannot recognize any of the people because of the darkness and I keep bumping into them. There is something about going to the bathroom on the first floor several times.

I gain control of my actions in the dream but do not become aware that it is a dream.

Still in my aunt's house there is suddenly less people walking around in the dark but suddenly we are all dressed like Ninjas and are weilding Samurai swords. I have the longest one. While the others attack me they cannot damage me because their swords are too short to reach me. I cut, slash and kill my opponents, which shocks Moordryd Paynn and his Dragoneyes Crew who are suddenly watching from nearby.

I cannot remember the middle of the dream but near the end I am walking across a field, chasing a man who is my target. Still armed with my samaurai sword, I know I have to kill this man. Obstacles like bushes and small tress keep rapidly growing in front of me to hinder my progress. I am slowed down by having to cut away at the rapidly growing plants with my sword. The sky is yellow ochre coloured and suddenly floating dots or bubbles fill air and surround me, multiplying like cell osmosis. This doesn't impede my pregress but is really trippy to watch.

I find the man I have to kill near a shell of a burnt out brick house in the middle of the field. The man clambers up a large oak tree to get away from me. As I approach the tree I realize that I am unable to reach the man even though he is sitting on the lowest branch of the tree which is not that far from the ground. I have suddenly shrunk in size for some reason and cannot complete my goal.

I cannot remember the beginning of this dream but there was quite a bit about wandering around outside in a semi-arid setting. I was travelling with three women I do not know in what looked like a camp ground. Despite the dry arid atmosphere, there were many thick, dark green coniferous trees about - enough almost to classify the area as a forest in my opinion. I do not recall much detail about the appearance of the three women except the two were slightly younger than I (and one was wearing a pink, wool sweater) and the oldest woman was about middle aged and had short dark brown hair. The four of us walked for a while, seemingly lost in the desert forest the three women conversed with each other, but I lagged behind and was content to just enjoy the setting, though as we walked a growing apprehension developed in my mind and I found myself wanting to be in the company of my parents because I suddenly felt very vunerable and child-like.

I had not noticed that she had gone, but the oldest woman of the group suddenly turned a corner, driving a red four door car that looked like a Glendale from the Grand Theft Auto videogame series. I never got her actual name in the dream, but from this point on I refer to the oldest woman of the group as Glenda. I never learn the names of the other two women. Glenda tells us to get in and I make myself confortable in the rear rightside passenger seat. The young woman in the pink, hand-knit sweater sits in the left side and I notice at this point that she has shoulder length blond hair. I think that she looks like Cagalli Yula Athha from the Gundam Seed anime series.

The three women continue to talk amongst themselves but I roll down my window and am content to just stare outside, wondering where my parents are. Glenda drives along a lone dirt road out of the desert forest, heading east, and we travel for a long time with nothing in sight. Soon however there is a wooden ramp a head of us and though it appears that we could drive around it, Glenda is determined to jump the ramp. She floors the accelerator and we speed towards the jump, and I feel that this is a very bad idea. I cling to the Cagalli look-alike and she does the same to me. Everyone in the car is afraid of the worst happening and I cannot talk Glenda out of stopping the car or just driving around the ramp. The red four-door car is heavy and though it hits the wooden ramp at a fair speed and level angle, the vehicle inexplicably flips in mid air, crashes on the roof and slides upside down for a short distance.

The four of us are able to crawl out of the wreck, and though we are dazed, no one is seriously injured. Glenda is quick to rally the other two girls into following her again by saying something like "the Arizona border isn't far now," or something, but I am not interested in joining them. While they continue along the dirt road heading east, I notice something in the southernly direction that looks like a group of small buildings or tents. It is hazy because of the heat and I cannot tell if what I am looking at is real or an optical illusion, but I start walking in that direction anyway. It is very hot and I take off my overshirt and wrap it around my head as I walk.

As I get closer to my destination I can see that it is some sort of outdoor event taking place infront of a large gothic styled building which I think at first much be a medieval church or something. There are stone pillars through the square, as well as consession stands and booths selling various consumer goods. There are many people casually browsing the things for sale or sitting on the many marble benchs scattered about. I am aching from the car crash and walk to the center of the bustle so see if I can find anyone I know. I look over my right shoulder and through the throng of people and booths I can see a Texaco gas station and feel drawn towards it. As I try to make my way there, my dad walks by infront of me and heads over to a coffee stand nearby. He did not notice me as he walked by and does not respond when I call out to him. I am sore and feeling needy and want sympathy because I was in an accident, but my dad completely ignores me as if I am not even there. He orders to hot drinks and walks toward a picnic table in the far end of the square, where my mom is sitting. I unwrap the overshirt from my head and follow my dad over to the table and try to get my parents attention, but again they do not respond. My anxiety increases and I desperately try yelling at them again they do not respond. What adds to my frustration is that I do not know if they cannot actually hear me, or if they are willfully ignoring my pleas for attention.

I briefly become lucid as I acknowledge that this is how it feels my parents treat me in real life, but I do not gain control of the dream because I feel rejected and psychologically exhausted.

Though I know they will still ignore me if I return to their company, I still desperately crave attention and affection from my parents - but it hurts too much to feel non-existant, so I head over to the large gothic style building and see if I can find a pillar or wall to hide behind. As I get closer to the building I notice that one of the huge wooden doors is slightly ajar. I make sure no one is looking and slip through the opening. While it looks like a midieval church on the outside, the interior looks much more like an elaborate palace. Lush carpets line the expansive halls; gold and jewels are woven into every decoration and peice of art; massive crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings. I stand in awe for a moment, drinking in the magnificent excess of extravagance, until I hear footfalls coming from an adjacent room or hall near the entrance. Because the sound seems to be coming from behind me, I run away from the front doors and deeper into the mansion.

There seems to be some sort of party going on as in each room I pass I can hear people laughing and having fun, though the doors are closed and I cannot see anyone. I turn down one hall and almost trip over a stack of gifts wrapped in colourful papers and ribbons. Down another hall I find a long legless table with row upon row of crystaline bowls filled with either chocolate or vanilla ice cream. Because the hall is not air-conditioned, most of the ice cream is melting, and because the table has no legs and is effectively sitting on the floor, much of the melting ice cream is soaking into the lush red carpet. I walk through a set of doors beyond the legless table and find myself in watch appears to be a dinning hall. The place is set up as if to recieve and dine many guests, but I do not see anyone around. I can hear commotion from an adjacent room and hear a woman say something about "having the place ready for the afternoon guests." I quickly run through the room to a narrow hall on the other side. As I make my deeper into the mansion, a feeling of apprehension develops inside of me and I feel as if I am not suppost to be there.

I enter into a hall with a stairs to the left, a large open kitchen infront of me and a set of double doors to my right. There are cooks in white aprons, waiters in red jackets, and maids in black dresses all rushing around trying to get their jobs done. People do look in my direction, but no one stops what they are doing to say anything about the interloper. I stand in the middle of the hall and notice someone coming down the stairs in the corner of my left eye. A waiter with short black hair is slowing making his way down the stairs and he is holding something I cannot see in his left hand. He makes a funny face and then smiles at me, clearly trying to make me laugh. I do laugh, but try to stifle it with my hand and it is then that I notice that I am wearing a red waiter jacket like the man on the stairs. I am still afraid that I am going to get in trouble because I am not suppost to be there, but being near the man on the stairs seems to make me feel a bit calmer for some reason. Another waiter appears from behind me, carrying a silver tray full of silver dishes, walks past us and mutters to the waiter on the stairs to "leave the new girl alone," or something. The man on the stairs just gives him annoyed look. An aging woman with a scowl for a facial expression, wearing a long black Victorian-era dress and her gray hair up in a bun, appears in the kitchen entrance way and I only get to make brief eye-contact with her when the dream ends.


I think I can sum this dream up quite easy: anxiety about relations with my parents and anger about the emotional neglect I experienced in childhood.

In the dream I appeared as I looked at about age 11 or 12. I was with my mom and dad and we were in our old 1986 Volkswagen Westfalia. We were driving down an urban street that was lined with old Victorian and Edwardian style buildings, as well as many trees. In the dream, this was supposed to be our hometown of London, Ontario, but the areas we travelled through looked nothing like any area of London that I recognize. I don't remember many of the buildings, but one stuck in my memory for some reason. It was a three story bulding made of dark grey bricks and a black tile roof. The front door was a dark red and there were vines growing up the entire front side. This building sat opposite of a three-way intersection and I recall noticing it the first time my parents and I drove past it because my dad had to make a left turn. Though it had a unique and vaguely farmiliar look in my dream, I cannot recognize it as anything I know in waking life.

My parents and I drove out into the country, though it did not look like the country surrounding my hometown (as I know it in waking life, anyway). We drove for a long time and came to a thicket of trees which seemed to have a picnic area in the middle. My dad drove the van towards the picnic tables but the westfalia got stuck in some mud that we had not noticed before. My parents got out of the van and walked towards the picnic tables and it was then that I noticed an old man in a blue uniform. He looked like a thin Captain Highliner. I walked amongst the trees while my parents talked to the captain. I found a little stream and noticed something moving in the water, but my mom called me back to the van before I could get a look at what it was. As we drove out of the grove (and almost got stuck in the mud again) I watched the old man walk towards the little stream with a blank expression on his face. He waded into the stream before the van turned onto the road and I could no longer see him.

We drove for miles again, past farmland and forests. I noticed that we travelled fairly far without seeing a single building. Soon though, my parents spotted group of white houses and they wanted to go check them out. Parking the westfalia behind one of the houses my mom and dad got out of the van and started snooping around. I was afraid of being caught doing something illegal so I stayed in the van. When my parents had not returned for a long time, I got out of the van and went to look for them. From the window of one of the white houses I could see someone looking at me and I was afraid that they were going to call the police on me for tresspassing. I started back to the van but I suddenly heard a group of people laughing and carrying on. Following the noise I came across my mom and dad and some strangers on the front balcony of one of the houses, opening champagne bottles and having some sort of celebration. The old man in the blue uniform was there as well. Apparently it was his house and he had just won it in a sweepstakes or something (and that is why everyone was celebrating?).

My parents had one glass of champagne before returning to the van and heading home. The trip home didn't seem nearly as long as the trip out there, and I don't recall seeing the picnic grove on the way back. When we returned to London, it again was the strange London with all of the Victorian and Edwardian building. When we came to the three-way interesection and my dad turned, I watched the vaguely farmiliar dark grey, three story bulding grow smaller and smaller in the rear view window. When we were some distance away I saw the dark red door swing open, but I woke up before I could see what was behind it.

I was in some sort of futuristic train station. I vaguely remember getting on the train to escape a serial killer who was stalking me. I disembarked at one terminal and wandered down some stairs which eventually led to a basement room that was wrapped in saran wrap. The saran wrap was wound around the room like a spider web.

I heard someone coming and I panicked, thinking it was the serial killer. I forced my way through the saran wrap and went through a heavy warehouse door that led outside into the daylight. I ran for a while down a cobblestone road that followed a river. As the sun set I came across a some sort of ritzy amusement park with a large casino hotel in the center. It was VIP membership only, but I found a pass in my pocket and I was let through the gate.

The ushers and waiters in the casino hotel were very realistic looking androids, mostly male, and they were dressed up as slaves or superheroes. One such android, dressed as superman, led me through the casino to the reception desk where I found out that I had a reservation for a private luxury suite in the hotel. I had a full pass for everything in the amusement park and my hotel room had everything I would ever need and more, including my own "pleasure" android, alcohol and drugs!

I unpacked my stuff and changed and went down into the casino, which was like a nonstop party. I met a group of people who were having lots of fun and joining them in a drunken people parade around the building. The dream gets fuzzy here but eventually morning comes and I leave the casino by a Venetian boat that goes down the river. I cannot see the face of the man paddling the boat.