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Morning of May 6, 2015. Wednesday.

Dream #: 17,670-01. 56 second read.

Zsuzsanna and I are walking in a metropolitan area in daylight, probably a mix of La Crosse (America) and Brisbane (Australia). We are looking for a bookstore or a video rental store.

A tiger walks on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the street in the same direction as us. However, the animal is never closer than about half a block away from us. I do not feel threatened by the tiger’s presence, only vaguely wary.I eventually talk to an unfamiliar young woman standing behind a small unsheltered table adjacent to the curb. It seems to be both an information stand and a sales counter. She is selling small jewelry items and possibly train tickets but is mostly giving directions to pedestrians.
She sees the tiger across the street, about one block down at this time. She seems wary but remains at her table. I soon see a second large tiger approaching her from behind, without her knowledge, from about ten feet away. I wonder whether I should tell her and how she might react, but my dream fades from here.

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Animals primarily correspond with my anticipation of achieving physicality upon waking, with wild animals more of a waking alert regarding my need to move.

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Interestingly, both Zsuzsanna and someone who lives in Brisbane whom I have never met in waking life also dreamt of tigers on this date. (Tigers are common in my dreams.)

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A voice saying "The demonic lovers, burnt out in the darkness," and an image of same: a beautiful woman, a witch, in profile, breathing out smoke, cigarette holder in her right hand, and as implied by the voice, she looks burnt out. Her left arm is cradling the severed head of a blond man, her husband. It's still alive, and in pain, and can't die. The things they did out of love led to this.

A man I know has come to my apartment to ask for my help. He looks like he needs it - pale, strung out, in a stained and rumpled suit. He wants me to draw or paint my visions, specifically the one I just saw, the witch with the severed head. He's still in the hall, I'm leaning against the door frame with my arms folded, I'm not letting him in because while I'd like to help, I don't believe I can do anything for him. I'm sure I can't paint/draw well enough to capture that image, not the way he needs.

Wrote a fragment down earlier tonight as "Talent, innate vs. developed" - no memory of that dream anymore but seems like a related theme. Other fragments were all very dull - a woman with tiger-striped hair, a game that summons pieces of different cities, walking in the rain and thinking about someone, the word 'mirror' in my notes with no memory of what that was about.

So I was at my aunt's house chillin', apparently I had two grown up tigers and a 3 cubs, a tiger, a fox and a wolf.
My grown up tigers started playing around the house, and eventually, they got at the neighbour's roof, I opened a garage that led to
my neighbour's house.

When I opened up the garage doors, in the distance, a car was coming towards my direction, it was a real smooth car,
like something from a pimp or something like that, the driver was Hannya, it represents a demon from japanese mytologhy I think,
you know the mask with the creepy smile and horns.

Well he just stared to directly to my eyes, I just closed the garage doors and thought to myself, "I think I just saw satan".

After that I woke up, without knowing what happened to my Tigers and my cubs .

Nothing really impressive, seems like a normal dream to me, what's interesting though it's the first dream I remember so clearly after a while,
it's been months since I got active on my dream researches and insterest on lucid dreaming.

This isn't good, I'm starting to forget my dreams. This was the only dream I had this week and I'm getting worried I'm losing my recall.

Sometime in the dream I was standing next to the big plain field at my old elementary school again. I've been dreaming of this place ever since I left high school, one of my dream signs. I don't remember what I was doing here. I remember seeing a few people there but I forgot their names.

This next part, I was being chased by a big white tiger. It felt more like a game at the time and my job was to escape from the area without dying. This tiger was really fast and no matter how fast I went, the tiger was always a few feet away from me. I was jumping from mid block to mid block trying to get the tiger to fall down to the darkness below and die. Instead, I fell down in to the hole and the tiger went down after me.

I'm in some random dream with my family...it almost seemed like i was at a back alley of the world that never was. Anyway....I head down the hall and i start drinking. Nothing regular....just laying it out there on something that said it was about 40%. I downed it and I started wondering why I didn't feel any effects. I headed back farther into this place and ran across J's kids. One of them wearing an outfit kinda like Sora's and when I looked even more, I realized two of them were wearing outfits like Sora. At this point I knew I was probably dreaming, but it ended.

I was in the void, concentrating on getting into the next dream. All of a sudden I either saw, or felt a bar by my hands. I grabbed it, and it carried me off through the void into the following dream.

I arrived in my room, and my vision was crazy! My room was super dark, but every where I looked was lit up like flashlights. I headed out of my room, and the other two rooms in my house were blocked off by a closet. I grabbed two hangers off if it, and continued on. Once I got down there, I saw a heartless. It was super small and I killed it, but I was wondering wtf happened to my kingdom key. I headed outside, and there was a vicious tiger out there.

Shit, I was looking for a fight, but at the same time, I wanted to have my Kingdom Key available. I rushed me, and i dodged it and slapped it a couple of time with my hangers I was comically dual wielding. Then it tried it again. After that time, it hesitated on it's next action, and the oh shit factor went up. Eventually I ended up killing it, but i wanted to hang it with one of the hangers...just cause it would have been more fitting. Just when I tried to do something else, people in RL were talking.

I had another dream earlier that night where I became lucid, but it was the usual "come at me bro" in the bathroom type dream.

A week ago I had a very strange non-lucid dream about tigers riding on the back of elephants. It was actually a stampede of elephants, running across streets. I made this very raw depiction of my dream (see illustration, the elephants look like cardboard figures but this is unintentional)




In this dream I was a bystander, witnessing the stampede. I know there are stone statues near temples in India of tigers riding on the back of elephants, but it's meaning is unknown to me. Can someone please (on short notice) enlighten me and tell me if there's any symbolic reference to certain events or if this has anything to do with me. It is very important to me.

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID


23:20 GMT - Sleep

Dream of dreams
interestingly, my fist dream of the night has often been about dreams themselves. I dreamt something about having special dreams and thinking about sharing them with an audience [as if it wasn’t already happening, LOL].


1:30 GMT

Natural landscape
Don’t recall the story, but remember being on top of very high cliffs, seeing a huge waterfall, flying around a bit over the intense greenery of the valleys and then photo-shopping the landscape – no idea why, but I was applying the blur and smooth tool on the waterfall. For fun, I guess.

Experiment with tigers and people
I was watching some wicked experiment in which there were two cages linked by corridor in between. In one cage there are 2 people, on the other there is a hungry tiger. In one experiment, the doors were open and the tigers run to devour the persons. Hideous. On the second experiment there was something put in the middle of the corridor to distract/attract the tiger and then when the doors opened he didn’t eat the persons. It didn’t make much sense.

Lucid and making others lucid
This time I was waiting for someone to open a door of a building so I could come in. I was ringing the bell, but nobody was answering. It was night, so I just sat there waiting. Then a black couple appeared and opened the door for me, saying they were sorry having left me waiting outside. I was ok with it. I entered the building and pushed the switch for light and it didn’t turn on. I thought “Weird!” and let the couple do it – they manage to switch the lights on. I realise something is going on and I become half-lucid. I enter this house where I’m staying and I find my cousin S. there (I don’t see her for years). For some reason I go fully lucid and I tell her we’re just dreaming. I don’t think she ever was lucid on a dream so it’s like I’m talking totally absurd things. She ignores me and asks me something about missionaries, maybe for some research project she is doing. Her question also sounds like a total absurd to me, so I insist in saying “We’re dreaming girl! Forget that.” So to prove to her what I’m saying I float and fly around the room. She is surprised and excited and I tell her she can also do it. She then tries and not long after she manages to fly to! She looks like a kid in a candy store, amazed that she is dreaming and flying! I feel proud of her.
Then my boyfriend comes in and doesn’t understand what’s going on. We tell him “We’re dreaming! You’re dreaming to, join us!”. He offers some resistance but he also ends up believing (at least considering the hypothesis) that he is dreaming but he doesn’t fly. Then my mother also comes in and I’m feeling ever more excited to have this opportunity to “lucidify” so many people at once. I also tell her that we’re dreaming but at this moment I’m simply lying on bed and she has some hard time believing it. I try once again to fly but all I manage now is to float above the bed. She ends up believing me, just for the sake of believing, but not because she knows, so she doesn’t get lucid. All this disbelief let the dream fade.

5:25 GMT

Flying to USA
I am at the airport to fly to the USA. I didn’t tell anybody I was going. I am very nervous for some reason, I think because I am already late and confused about where to check-in. I go to the toilet to take some anti-stress pills. Try to find it on my bag, but I don’t see it. Then I see the today’s date somewhere and I have this impression I am one day too early and look frantically for my e-ticket. Then I realise “Shit, it’s only tomorrow!”.

Strange phenomena in the sky
I am at some foreign country (maybe the US!) for some meeting/conference and I am at a gorgeous somewhat retro hotel. I see there many faces I know, some work related, others more personally related. I have this weird feeling inside and go outside to look the sky. My boyfriend is with me. We see strange rainbows, like 3 rainbows on top of each other, but not necessarily parallel and also 3 other smaller bits and pieces of rainbows on each side of the 3 main arches. I think that must not be natural, but caused by some substance in the air that is making those strange light refraction patterns. I look to my left and there’s a mountain covered in thick grey clouds and in between the clouds I can see patches of sky that are intensely pink. I find all those things a bit disturbing but also incredibly beautiful, so I go back to get my camera. When I’m outside again I see something more amazing in the sky. Someone says “Look, aurora borealis”. Now I get a weird feeling that something is not right. I’m supposedly not so higher up north. I imagine solar activity must be really explosive for all this weird phenomena taking place. I think about the travel home and if it is safe to fly as it happens.
I go back to the hotel and find M.S., this lady friend I know professionally and personally. She just arrived from city centre and tells me there’s a lot of mess going on there. She can’t really explain what it is, but apparently the city is full of people like us coming to events, all happening at the same time, therefore adding more chaos to the city. Later on the hotel entrance they are distributing “emergency bags”. I ask for one and want to know what they are about, but they don’t say and anyway the bag is empty. Big help!

7:00 GMT

Looking for a meal in the city
Again in a hotel (may be the same, don’t know, but the story is slightly different). My guru is staying there to, as well as dozens of people who came to receive teachings from him. I haven’t seen him yet. I am with all the other people in a living room that is completely full. I try to find a seat and can only fit between two other persons in a balcony with view over some lake or river. I thought we were there maybe to have dinner but that doesn't happen and we all go out. We cross this beautiful suspended gardens with artificial waterfalls ending on a pool. I shortcut my way floating over the water ponds and then through the pool. I see a cute turtle and take a picture of it, wondering how I haven’t wet my camera yet. Then we continue walking to the city and look for some restaurant or place to eat. We pass by a huge veranda over an amazing garden and a tennis court – there’s a tournament going on and lots of people are sitting down there and in the veranda, watching the games. This veranda continues and merges with this kind of tunnel that then goes under the garden and takes me to the other side of it. There I find nice streets with fast food and souvenir shops. My companions decide to go to a burger house but I say no way, bye-bye and keep looking for something veggie. I’m not having any luck so I just go to this pizza place and try to get something meat-free. But first I go to the toilet (what else!?).

Recalling dreams between dreams
Then I had a strange dream that I was actually between dreams and found my boyfriend there and asked him if he could recall the previous dream we had shared – the one with the auroras. He tries to recall and he can only mention a few elements from the dream hotel that actually match the place, but he doesn’t remember the rest. I am still convinced we shared the dream and tell him that.

8:30 GMT

My guru puts me to a crazy mind test
I am still in that town, walking around. My boyfriend is again with me. We hear some locals saying funny things about the group that is lodged in the hotel: “I’ve heard they’re Buddhists!” "Oh!"
We smile at each other but decide not to make any comments. We go back to the hotel. It is our last day there, and we all leave just after lunch – this time the lunch is at the hotel.
The hotel has a restaurant in the ground level, but for this group they’ve set up a room in the upper floor, with only veggie meals (I guess, that’s why the first day we had to fetch food somewhere else – they probably hadn’t yet solved the logistics of the meals).
I’m looking for some familiar faces and I find my friend R. She is not a Buddhist but I don’t seem surprised to find her there. I ask if I can sit with her, since we have not been in such good terms lately, and she says “Of course, sit”. I don’t think we talked much.
After eating I just go to my room to grab all my bags and bring them to the lobby. My boyfriend takes some to. Then I remember I forgot something in the floor where we had lunch. I find it already closed so I walk around a maze of stairs and corridors trying to find someone to open the door for me.
Then I find this foyer where a bunch of buddhist practitioners are still chatting about the events of the past few days, the teachings and so on. I still find weird that I have no recollection of ever seeing my guru after all these days there. And as I think about this, a door opens at the end of this foyer and our teacher (guru) appears. Everybody gets stiff with surprise and respect for him, but he just looks at us and takes 2 or 3 steps slowly moving away. Then he passes by the side of my bag, which is on the floor now, and my cell phone starts to ring. It has a funny Indian music on it (it does, in RL) and the guru asks who's that phone and what is that music. I pick up my bag, take the cell phone out and explain to him it is an Indian ringtone and that I was sure we would eventually like it (I do think that, in RL) He picks up the phone, he is now really close to me and whispers on my ear that he is not really that into the music, but that he wants me to follow him, so that I please come. He opens the door from which he just came, he goes inside and I follow him. The others are just staring with many questions in their minds as I look at them one last time.
I follow him down some stairs and then through corridors that are all bluish. The walls and ceiling and floor become more and more blue and then he disappears in this small lobby/foyer that is all blue tiled and has 3 doors. I wonder which one he got in and feel afraid that I lost him. I open the big one on my left, but it’s just a grey wall leading somewhere - I see some white light and mist - but I don’t feel attracted to it. Then a second door on my right has a tag name on it and I wonder if that’s the one, when the third door a bit more to the right, a very tiny one, opens up and I see him inside. I am totally surprised when I see it is simply a tiny toilet room! I am “What the hell....”, I was expecting some bigger room, something impressive, but I kinda get the joke. At least this one is immaculately clean. Blue tiles from floor to ceiling and one very white and virgin toilet in the centre. He asks me what am I expecting to go inside and to please close the door behind me. I am like...”Okaaaay”. It’s so tiny! He is close to the back wall and the toilet is in between us. The door is behind me. There’s no space for anything! I have this hope there's a secret door somewhere.
Then he tells me that no matter what, I will just watch and go with it. No thoughts, no judgement, no fear. Then he plugs an USB plug into a tiny hole in the wall and I hear this loud noise, like electronic music mixed with mechanical sounds. I look up but I don’t see where it could come from. My teacher is dead serious and looks at me in the eyes saying to me so much without really explaining anything. I see trust, but also concern in his eyes. That’s when a blue wall comes out of the lateral wall from my right, in front of the toilet and starts closing him in, separating us. I feel disappointed. I think he is gone and what am I going to do now? That’s when I hear more noise, I turn back to the door and I see another blue wall closing in between me and the door. I freak out and put my arm on the door to open it and think about escaping. But in a split second I remember my teacher saying I must not be afraid of whatever happens! Although I’m shiting my pants of I pull my arm and allow the wall to close in. I am now in between four walls, not able to move. I can’t put my arms up, I can’t sit, I can’t turn and I can’t even breathe too deep. I try to be ok with it, but it's just too much. I panic, I scream and everything goes black. I guess I passed out.
Then I wake up and stay in bed for half an hour digesting this. I wondered what it was all about and if I had passed or failed some sort of test, when I remembered from The Matrix: “Everybody falls the first time.”

8:30 GMT – Wake up

Morning of September 6, 1969. Saturday.



I am floating through the jungle in my “orb” form but still seem fully in-dream regarding dimensionality and perspective even though much of the scenery reminds me of more detailed paintings from certain animated movies.

I move into a clearing and seem to be with a body at this point, but still hovering somewhat. I see the ruins of a large castle. (It is probably illogical to think of it as a castle deep in the jungle - as it could have been some other sort of ancient ruins, yet still of the kind typical of Tarzan movies - this is just how I “saw” it at the time).

There is a large group of tigers inside a large, mostly featureless room of the ruins when I look through the window, which is rectangular but with a semi-circular top. These tigers do not see me at any point. They are sitting with their back legs down, like with the typical domestic cat position. Even though they are all tigers, I see or sense unique characteristics and subtle color differences in each. One tiger is sitting before the group (seemingly facing south in my in-dream perspective only) and lifting his right leg in the air as if to make a point. They are planning on taking over the world and I contemplate who I should tell about this “secret” plan. The tigers actually look friendly, though, with a sort of animated appearance. In some ways, there is a resemblance to certain art-like aspects of the Walt Disney movie “The Jungle Book” (from 1967), but I had not yet seen it all at this time, only shorter clips.

In real life around this time, there was something about curfews, the idea of which I do not think I fully grasped. There was also gunfire and arrests based on the “failure to disperse” (as well as “sit-ins” by another group). Even though I am not threatened in my dream, I do get the feeling I am “not supposed to be there” perhaps because of a curfew set by the very slightly anthropomorphic, animated tigers. The speaking “leader” is not necessarily Shere Khan - I get the impression he is friendlier.

When I wrote a story from this dream much later on, I used a fictional name - “Rufus Yohort”, which my brother Jim thought was hilarious.

Morning of September 8, 1976. Wednesday.



I have not been in school yet in real life because of having been operated on regarding the odd multiple cysts on my right hand. This newspaper page with the entry was after my dream on the same day; relative to precognition or the very common somewhat trivial precognitive synchronicity - or whatever it is - but I have lived with it day to day since earliest memory. I also have just made a note after all these years that I had spelt “heels” in the title as “heals” and no one had ever noticed (that I know of) in real life since that time. There are probably thousands of such “revelatory typos” in my original journals. Due to the sheer volume of my work, I doubt I would ever find a fraction of them.

For some reason, I am doing continuous multiple somersaults in my front yard in Cubitis (doing somersaults was recurring during this period and was quite rare otherwise throughout my life - could have had something to do with the extreme pain in my right thumb and wrist and trying to “escape” it in-dream even though it was absent from most dreams). There is an actual roofed bus stop shelter with a bench and glass walls in front of Karen S’s house. To get there, I do somersaults all the way over, at least fifteen or so, even across the highway. (This was an area I needed to wait for the school bus in the morning in real life but not every year - sometimes the stop was at my driveway; another year, the next-door neighbor’s to the south.) Later on, it seems to be “normal” to walk on ones hands which I attempt for a short time. Not many people are around.

Later, I seem to be at a version of sister Claudia’s house where I had not been since I was a younger child in the first part of 1967. There is some sort of flood which oddly seems to be of different storeys. That is, the downstairs is flooded and the top floor is also flooded, but only from the level of the second floor as different from the flood downstairs but about the same depth. (In reality, the water would have just flowed down the steps.)

There is also something about buying chewing tobacco at what otherwise looks like an outdoor magazine (vendor) stand (which I never did in reality) and something about the product (Beechnut, I think) always being featured on the cover of “Outdoor Life” magazine, which is not true at all in reality, of course.

The main part of my dream features tigers coming up from the water, both in Claudia’s house (upstairs as well) and in the front yard of my Cubitis home, which is now flooded to about shoulder-high. I am aware that they are some kind of fictional aquatic tiger (perhaps with webbed paws and barely visible gills) although they look no different from normal tigers for the most part. I see about three or four rise from the water in different areas at any given time. This makes waiting at the bus stop somewhat problematic, although I sense it is the weekend and there would be no school anyway, which seems to justify being not all that concerned about it - though it is not the weekend in reality and I am missing school, which would have been the start of 10th grade on the 7th the day before. There are no dominant emotions relative to fear, though.

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An additional play could relate to feeling “clawed” (both in the scars on my wrists and right thumb and the fact that claws are on the “paws”/hands), which is also a play on my first name. It also may explain the association with Claudia (“Claw”-dia). I can even reach somewhat illogically to associate “tigers” with “ties” (relative to school responsibilities) - which is quite a stretch even for me.

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