Recent DJ Posts

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

I am at a post office and there is aguy in front of me shipping some packages. The postal worker is in a bad mood and at some point yells at some colleagues. I notice another girl to my right that leaves in a hurry but I don't pay much attention. I notice though that the guy had been noticing her and is not happy that she left. He complains to the worker about her attittude and mood and then leaves. Then I am not really there, but actually watching this unfold in a movie.
The guy comes back to the postal office area hoping to see the girl. One day he is lucky and comes across her at a park. She is wearing a rainbow colored baggy dress and looks quirky. They lock eyes and she approaches him slowly. It almost seems like she is going to kiss him, but she just does some quirky dance and off they go together.
I think to myself that it is a cliché, but she definitely looks autistic. Then I start remembering all the details I had missed at the post office and realize she was having a lot of quirky behaviors and then she ran away because of the noise of the woman yelling, as she couldn't take it.
I go to facebook looking for the autistic groups that I am in, wanting to share my thoughts about this film and I stumble in a post in one of the groups with the link to the said film. It's called "Breannis" and I realize it is centered on the girl and that she is indeed supposed to be autistic. Then I wonder how did I miss at first that it was about her and not the guy. Then I start writing down my opinion on the comments.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some party, like at an art gallery, and there is Riverstone and a bunch of other people. They are serving lots of desserts in long tables in different rooms and I am planning to indulge in as many as I can. But as I grab a plate and go back to get some of what I have seen, I find them mostly gone and manage to grab only 3 tiny cake slices before finding that the buffet is over and immediately removed and all the tables are now exhibiting jewellery and other art pieces. I feel frustrated but they say they announced the time limit ahead and have a very strict policy about it.
Then I sit down and realize there is some sort of lecture going on the next room, but then it is no longer at this gallery but at my grandparent's old house and it is a meeting of some Jeovah's witnesses with my grandpa in his kitchen. I am sitting there and continuing to eat my cake slices and I see their judgemental looks over my glutony. When they get up to leave I walk them to the door and outside the hallway looks like a school hallway and not my granparent's building. I go explore and feel a mix of joy and freedom as I feel transported to my highschool years. I go around dancing and levitating and my dance becomes a bit more sexy and dirty and I think I even pole dance a little when I find some random pole in the hallways. As I encounter some prude teachers who start judging me, at some point I go blatanly sexual and expose my private parts. They go away in shock.
Further ahead I spot a teacher of mine telling another student some story about me. So apparently some teacher had asked another one about the students in our class, and the second one mentioned I was a total devil. But when she arrived to the classroom she was so surprised to see that I was this quiet little angel instead and they are discussing how I could hide it so well or something. I want to know more about it, so I come to them and ask what else happens in the story. They get spooked and say that is none of my business and leave.
Tired of all these people I start becoming aware of the dream and levitating high up in the air. From above I see hundreds of people coming and going, entering and leaving buildings, like little ants. Then realize I am also a little ant just like them. I think about what to do in this lucid dream, but have no idea, so I decide I"ll just watch whatever happens. Then I start spotting fleeting rainbows in the sky, reflected on windows, basically everywhere. and I think about how they are a metaphor for the nature of the mind. So I start trying to catch them. I spot a rainbow shining against a wall and I am close enough to touch it. It turns into a pattern of our brains white matter. As I focus on it, everything around starts turning blue, like I am inside a tub of dark blue jello. I think this might be another level of insight into the nature of the mind and I want to find answers. I start to see some letters and numbers forming and make an effort to decode it, but the thick jello makes it hard to read it clearly. In the ned it seems just like I am looking at some comemorative metal plaque on a wall and seems to mention the European Union or something and I feel really disappointed. Try again, same thing. So I get bored and try to get out of this blue stuff and get back into a normal world with people. I walk among them and decide to make another experiment. I want to go through them instead of treatint them like real people and see what happens. The first ones it feels weird, like I just actually push them to the sides and not really go through them. So they get mad at me and try to grab me, but it is like I have a force field around me and they can't touch me. I keep bulldozing through the crowd at ease. And then some start treating me like a goddess with super powers and start following me around. The group of annoying followers is growing and they are too clingy, so I find jewels on the ground and offer to them to distract them. It works. Then someone says I am getting phone calls on my cell phone and I break lucidity while trying to figure out where my cell phone is and who might be calling.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

At some junkyard, with a garage full of vintage stuff. The stuff belongs to the family of a childhood friend, Renata, and she comes by while I am admiring some old fridge. She seems disturbed by my presence as if she thinks I am there to steal it. I show her that I merely came in after my dog Bernardo, who had run after other dogs. The she sees the dogs.
Then I spot some bikers passing by and I am afraid they might hit the dogs, but everything is fine.
At the horizon I notice a strange rainbow, with a normal arch but at the base, one of the color strips bends out, turns white and curls around the rainbow. For a while it looks like a tornado with a double helix around it. I don't feel afraid and come closer to watch it. Then like a hologram, an image of my guru appears and talks to me. Gives me blessings and instructions, like a letter sequence as NS LCSS or something that I know I will mess up when I wake up. I get closer and fold my hands and bow down and he says "I miss you" and disappears.

Had trouble sleeping, slept for about 2-3 hrs for a dream that felt like it lasted about 3-4 days.About 3-4 dream locations but it was a singular dream that continued on from one place to another.

Summary

The dream theme was basically going from one world to another. I was teleported to another world, survived and came back to earth. There was some people that died and materialized as spirits on earth. I went back to the otherworld with my companion and we were in sort of a military country/planet. I was teleported to a very different world from ours *rainbow sky* and came back to the militant planet. Competed in some sort of event and I was heading to the locker but my friend noticed my hands were turning blistered. I was cursed and he gave me his familiar to sacrifice along with mine so I'd be cured. The familiars agreed to this. I went down to the lower caverns, or sort of vertical mines of the place that had some sort of special coal and they were mining what I'd discovered and showcased earlier. We were now leaving and heading off to another world and there was a girl from earth back here... She was getting frozen or punished in place of another earthling spirit who had escaped their fate. I'm saying earthling but maybe it wasn't even earth though. But yeah one guy's soul was suppose to be captured but he got away so she was frozen in another world instead.

I'd also dreamt that I was a monk among 3 and we were holding a concert.

Also had a nap later and got lucid very briefly but it wasn't that interesting.

Was lucid couple of days ago and the day after that and managed to make a portal or a dark blob of a portal, but woke before I could enter.

Rainbow Sky

I was immediately teleported somewhere. A strange land. It was dry here like, it wasn't sandy, just rocky and dry place. It was like canyons, but they were smooth, no jagged parts. The sky was like... pink? But it was rainbow. There were colors that were out of this world and it really was like a rainbow as the colors fused and moved like gentle circular waves... so mesmerizing. Continuously changing, sort of like the rainbow of a bubble.

It was so breathtaking and it was so scary. This foreign place- but it was so vividly real. But it was so beautiful that I could only stare. Time compression, I saw the skies change from day to night... I heard that sound, like gentler version of vibration or from long meditation. From the corner of my eyes I saw the inhabitants shuffling about.They were human shaped but limbs were much longer and their bodies slimmer. Their skin's color was similar to their skies.

I'd remember why I'd come here; we came here to get the blessed moon-water that would heal me. Below me was a still pond, without any signs of fish. I was under a small bit of smooth rock that covered me and the people of this planet from the endless sunlight. This world had no nights, that is to say that there was only brighter times of the day and the slightly less bright moonlit skies. That's why we'd hid from the mesmerizing skies under the rock to not get burned by the endless lights. Just slowly shifting, from pink rainbow, to purple rainbow. It wasn't overly bright, like the bright sunny days of earth but just very... rainbow. It was probably very bright, but it was simply that my eyes could sense colors that were imperceptible by human eyes, making it not a single bright white ray but something similar to Van Gogh but much more vibrant (less blue more pink) and amazingly breathtaking, and it kept moving. The skies were alive you know? Remember to put the water into the canteen.

As night approached, the moonlights blessed the pond water for all to take. There were no nights, only the ever-changing psychedelic skies. Blessed am I to see such wonderful sights.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

In London visiting a friend. On arrival I see 2 triple rainbows and I do my best to photograph it, but only catch the first one already fading. Many people are watching the phenomenon, halting their cars on the road, also taking pics. As I wonder looking for a better spot to take the best shot, I get lost to a very rich and high tech zone, where basically people live and work inside a huge compound. Cars even go inside and roads cross through these humongous building. Some people never even have to go out for anything. It is completely segregated from the outside world. I don't even know how I managed to got inside but I don't ever leave a secondary area, which is basically a technical service area and access to parking. Soon I find an exit and I am on my way to meet my friends. Zilla is already with our London friend and we go to the subway. My friend was summoned by her boss and she believes she is going to be fired. But she hates his guts, he has treated her very very abusively and she wants to defend herself and maybe tell him some truths she's been keeping to herself. And for that she asks for our backup.
We are outside the door of his office, but we can hear their meeting as it goes and the dude is disgusting. She tries to defend herself but clearly he is determined to get rid of her and comes up with a lot of insults and shitty lying arguments. Then he becomes aggressive, calls her names and we can't take it anymore, so we barge in and I push him and slap him. He fights back so I beat the crap out of him. He says he is going to call the cops and present charges and say we assaulted him. But I am carrying a gun in my back pocket, not sure where I got it and I point it at him. I say we came with the intention to use it, but we were being nice and all, so I suggest he just calls it a day. He is panicking and promises not to tell a word if we just go. We go and my friend is like "are you crazy?" But very thankful. Later on, randomly, we see the same guy sitting at some diner and we notice that the server seems a bit crazy or is also taking revenge on him, so we observe the scene. He asks for pizza and a cake and she brings him frozen pizza and a frozen cake. He doesn't seem to understand that and he actually takes a bite of each. He yells mad and the girl doesn't flinch, she continues being a total disaster serving him, touching everything with her hands, spilling juice on him and making a mess. We guess she is actually doing it on purpose.

Fragment

I saw a blurred out feminine face.

---

Cloud dragon and rainbows

I saw a family living in a village, their house was always clean, well organised, and it was modernly furnished. Out of all the family members I could see only mother and her son. The kid was hiding and escaping from something all the time, there was something he was afraid to say to his mom. She knew that he had some kind of a problem and they were constantly arguing about it. One night the kid ran upstairs to his room in a hurry, his mother followed him and suddenly they were teleported away from their house. They ended up on a cloud, there were many cloud islands and rainbows were linking them like bridges. The mother shouted to her son: "What have you done this time?!" and then suddenly a dragon composed of clouds flied above them and said "I brought you here!".

---

WBTB Attempt

---

Wedding, shootout and "Shogudan" immigrants

I woke up in my neighbor's house, put on shorts and slippers, and then left the house. It was a bright, sunny day. As I passed the street, two girls noticed me and started laughing upon seeing me almost naked. I ignored that and moved on to my house. The place was extremely crowded, two kids were about to marry each other and it gathered a lot of people. I went inside my house and spoke with several people, when suddenly kidnappers appeared and took the kids! I took a pistol out of my pocket and ran outside. The time of day abruptly changed to night and I wasn't in my house any more, but in some kind of harbour. I shot at the car a thousand times, completely destroying it's tires, but it still drove away. After a while police appeared and arrested me. Next day they opened the cell I was held in, one of the officers said: "All right, there's no place in our country for terrorist Shogudan immigrants. You will be deported!", but then another officer appeared and shouted at them: "What the hell are you doing? You've just arrested our best agent!", then he gave me a badge and a gun.

Ritual: WTB 2am, woke up after a couple hours and strapped on the Motivaider, timed for 30m intervals. I woke up again after what I thought must be at least an hour and hadn't felt any vibrations. I decided that my awareness was not sufficient tonight to continue, removed the device, and went back to sleep. But apparently this process created an anchor for the idea of lucidity, because in my next sleep interval I became aware of lying in that intermediate state between sleeping and waking and went through the motions of getting up into a WILD. However, in retrospect it is clear that I was already dreaming at the start of this experience, so it was not a genuine WILD but a dreamed WILD (hence DWILD). It was 5:45am when I woke from the dream.

DWILD, "Another rainbow": I am lying on the flat surface of a wooden table as though it were a bed in a large, strange room with a distant, domed ceiling. I feel groggily half-asleep, but notice the distinctive sensations in my body that make me wonder if I'm close to the dream state. I start playing with it as I would when inducing a WILD, attempting to roll and rotate my body while avoiding real physical movement. When I find myself face down and succeed in getting up on my hands and knees, I'm sure that I'm sufficiently integrated with my dream body to get off the table and explore the dream—and given that in retrospect I know was dreaming all along, it is apparent that the sense of difficulty that I experience as I carefully maneuver myself into a standing position, similar to what I experience in real WILDs, must be wholly a mental fabrication.

My awareness is still low and initially lacking in agency, so I go along with the dream narrative for a while. The space in which I find myself is strange and hard to describe. There's a kind of reflective dome above me that rotates and shifts to reflect different parts of an upper floor or balcony. The dome moves until it is showing a distorted reflection of what looks like an early twentieth-century radio, one of the elegant ones in a large wooden cabinet. I am aware that seated up by the radio there is an older man who owns this place, and I am his guest. After this is a scene in which someone tells my brother that if he wants to get along with this man then he should take up shortwave radio as a hobby.

Then a bunch of us are seated at a long table for a dinner party. [Source: Order of the Phoenix was on TV last night, and it has a number of scenes with people seated at long tables.] Plates are served and they all contain huge sandwiches. The older man that I saw in the balcony earlier is picking disinterestedly at his sandwich and asks where the other food is, the stuff that had been simmering in the crockpot. My brother, who had put together the food, says that it will be coming up as the next course. I'm seated directly across from the older man, who I think of as our "host," and can tell from his expression he doesn't want to eat the sandwich. I decide to be helpful and comment loudly: "That's a huge sandwich! I couldn't eat all that even for one meal." Although this is true, my intention in speaking was to save face for the other man by legitimizing the option of leaving the sandwich uneaten while waiting for the next course.

After the sandwich course, we take a break from the meal and everyone who was at the table, about a dozen people in all, are standing in another room. The host is there, and a bunch of vague random people I don't recognize, as well as DC versions of my brother, mom, and dad. For some reason, maybe because of the lull in the narrative, I finally remember my intended task, the leprechaun TOTY, as well as how I had planned to accomplish it. My chief difficulty in previous attempts had been that once I managed to create the necessary rainbow, I got thwarted in my attempts to seek the end of it. As I had earlier been pondering this difficulty, a straightforward solution, perfectly obvious in retrospect, finally occurred to me: why not create the rainbow such that it ends right in front of where I'm standing?

"Okay everyone, we're going to play a game, kind of like a party game." I smile at the host and add, "It'll give you time to digest before the next course." I reach out and pat his belly, an oddly familiar gesture given that the DC did not scan as anyone I know in WL. [Possible source: yesterday I was doing research related to Budai, the so-called "Laughing Buddha," and rubbing his belly is a recognized ritual gesture. But the DC did not in any other respect remind me of Budai.] I complete my announcement by telling the group: "We're going to make a rainbow!"

The room we are in is walled entirely with glass on two sides, like a skyscraper, and I recognize that this clear view of the sky will be helpful for the task. I'm slightly more concerned about the fact that we're three or four storeys up, which means that if the rainbow ends here and I start digging through the floor, I won't actually be digging in solid ground. I remind myself that it is silly to maintain these kind waking life assumptions in the dream state. It can be solid ground if it wants to be, or maybe I can find the leprechaun in the room below us. Dream is nothing but malleable, so I really don't need to be this finicky.

I continue with my instructions to the group: "What we need to do is hold hands and create the end of the rainbow right here." I gesture to indicate the patch of floor in middle of our circle of people. "Then we'll go through, fight the leprechaun, and take his gold." I look around to gauge the response and decide the DCs need a little more incentive. "We can split the money," I add, and am pleased to see that this perks up their interest.

We join hands around a large circle. I feel that my shirt cuffs are too long and and getting in the way, so I have to break off and fold them up in order to get proper skin contact with the people around me. Once again I wonder if I'm being too finicky. Probably. Even the hand-holding seems like overkill, but I thought it might help us join our focus on the same goal.

My assumption had been that the assistance of the DCs would help my own confidence and focus on the task. This idea was probably based on my last rainbow-making dream, when I really did feel like I benefited from the help volunteered by the little girl. But this group of DCs is not helping at all. Like typical adults in a social setting, they are only marginally interested in my unusual party game. While I'm trying to concentrate on making a rainbow, the others are getting distracted and starting to chit-chat among themselves. This is distracting me in turn.

"Quiet!" I rebuke them sharply. "No talking, please. I need you to concentrate. Focus your intention." I figure they could use a reminder of the goal of our task: "We're going to create a rainbow"

Periodically I've been glancing out the windows to see if a rainbow is visible in the sky yet. This time I notice that the weather has changed. The sky is grey and a steady rain is now pouring down. Rain, well, that's halfway to a rainbow, isn't it? I let myself be encouraged that the environment is showing some response.

I continue attempting to focus, and the DCs continue to stand around without helping much. They're quieter after my reprimand but still distracted, and I have the impression that they don't seem to know how to focus their intentions properly. This is exasperating. What good are dream characters who don't even know how to interact with a dream? My mom starts speaking and I almost raise my hand to swat at her, irritated by yet another interruption, until I realize that what she's saying might actually be helpful. She is commenting on the light, how it needs to filter through the water particles a certain way to create a rainbow.

I had never intended to create a rainbow with meteorological accuracy, but hey, since it's already raining outside, we might as well give it a shot. If we can just get the right sort of light, it might encourage our expectations in a way that will make this easier. You know how when it rains and then you see the light break through the clouds, and you wonder if you will see a rainbow? That's the expeirence I was now trying to recreate. I look out the window and sure enough, in one direction bright sunlight is now alternating with the dark clouds. Very well, the rainbow can come from that direction.

Once again I concentrate, reminding myself that rainbows consist of light broken into the spectrum of colors. I think I almost see them in front of me, faint and translucent, but I can't tell if I'm only imagining them until the DCs all break out into "oohs" and "ahs," and saying things like "amazing!" I smile triumphantly, amused that everyone is acting so impressed after their earlier disengagement.

(While it seems odd to make the above distinction between something that "happens" in a dream and something I'm "only imagining," given the many times I have attempted to complete some task by imagining the outcome and it has not tangibly manifested in the dream, some such distinction seems warranted, if much less clear and stark than the difference between imagining and experiencing in waking life.)

It is a bit odd to try to look at a rainbow head on, from immediate proximity, but I do see a faint shimmering band extending from the lit quarter of the clouds to the floor right in front of my feet. I remind everyone that creating the rainbow was only the first step. "Now we have to dig through the floor." I start scrabbling at the smooth wooden boards, trying to imagine that the floor is soft and that my hands can scoop it up like clay. I feel everyone watching (no one else is trying to help) and their expressions are dubious. If merely creating a rainbow surprised them, imagine the skepticism they must feel watching me try to break through solid floor with my hands! I wonder if I can better align the expectations of the onlookers if I use some sort of tool to dig with, but I can't think of what might be handy.

This time it is my dad who speaks up with some advice: "The location of the floor isn't localized on the floor." I don't understand what he's trying to tell me, and I don't have long to think about it because I feel myself waking. I lose the dream and lay still for a few minutes, feeling to see if I can DEILD, but no, my body is fully awake now.

Ritual: I'm coming out of my longest dry spell yet, but it was clearly a problem of motivation. Even when I had the superficial motivation to LD (I always do), the deeper motivation that makes it actually work was thwarted. In time I came to recognize the reason for this. At the end of last semester I started talking to a colleague that I knew was very interested in dreams. Even though their interest had been shaped by Freudian principles, I ventured to reveal my interest in (and practice of) lucid dreaming in the hope that we might have an interesting dialogue across perspectives. Well, the colleague promptly stopped talking to me, and I was so annoyed and embarrassed that it took a terrible toll on my dreaming. Not just lucidity—even the quality of my NLDs and my ability to remember them faded drastically. And even after I finally diagnosed what was causing the problem, I couldn't seem to dismantle the emotional block. I would just get irritated whenever I thought about it. I think this combined with the natural cyclic tendencies of my dream practice—I have too many interests and hobbies so all of them seem to wax and wane at various points to make room for one another—but hopefully my dreaming is now on the verge of a comeback. I can't think of a better New Year's resolution.

I went to bed early last night (11pm) hoping that would help to get lucid, and for good measure spent some time browsing DV. I woke up a few times during the night and it seemed like it was going to be a bust, since I barely had any dream impressions. But the last dream I had before waking (at around 7:45am) was lucid and controlled and clear, if not ultimately successful in completing my intended task.

DILD, "Making Rainbows": I was in a warehouse-like space with tall shelves crammed with every imaginable object, though everything looked old and used. I was having a conversation with someone about the place, though I don't feel like there was anyone walking with me; I think I was speaking aloud, but the other person was answering in my mind. I was observing that many of my own dreams (the comparison suggests that I did not yet recognize this as my own dream) included environments just like this, crammed full of objects, often taking the form of stores, libraries, archives. I proposed the hypothesis that these kind of object-archives were a metaphor for the mind, for the way it stores impressions or information. I wondered if I could put that idea to the test. (This idea suggests that I did recognize that I was in a mentally-constructed environment. What did I think it was, if not my own dream? Maybe the dream of the person I was talking to.)

This next section is ambiguous in that I can't be sure if I had the name and was looking for the object or holding the object and was looking for its name or shelf location, but it was definitely a matching exercise between object and name. The object was a tool of some kind, flat strips of somewhat oxidized metal bent into a particular configuration with a short chain attaching some sort of polygonal fastener. It vaguely resembled one of those old metal spring traps, but not exactly, and its function was unclear. I had never seen or heard of such a thing, but I learned that it was called a "streng." I either got the name at the outset from the voice I was talking to and then found the object, or (and I think this is more likely since I have memories of holding the object as I walked), picked up a random object and then had to find out its name by looking for its shelf. But this is a false dichotomy... dreams don't always divide so neatly between what, in waking light, seem like the logical possibilities.

At any rate, I was putting the idea of this warehouse as a kind of memory archive to the test by trying to match an object with its name. The mental effort took, I reasoned, as long as it actually took me in the dream to find the shelf. Given that it sometimes takes me a day or more to recover some sought-after piece of information from memory, this doesn't seem too far-fetched. I'm sure my archives are, like my physicial spaces tend to become, terribly cluttered with extraneous matter, making it hard to find anything. I actually commented at one point, looking at all the crap on the shelves, "I can't stand to throw anything away." But the details that make this whole exercise less plausible as a valid hypothesis of mental functioning was the object itself: neither the name "streng" nor the metal object it described corresponded with anything in waking life. The whole process seems at best to have been metaphorical.

After this improvised task was complete, I wondered what to do next and remembered, sinced I'd just browsed DV before bed, that I still had a couple unfinished TOTY. At this point it occurred to me that if I'm now taking conscious control of my intentions and the dream environment, I must be lucid, but it didn't feel like there had been any qualitative change in my mental state. Rather, the difference between being non-lucid and lucid seemed in this case to come down primarily to whether I was acting spontaneously within the structure of the dream (as in my former task) or whether I was accessing memories and intentions that I had earlier established with waking consciousness.

I wondered if I should try basilisk or leprechaun, and decided on the latter. Its no wonder that I'm stuck on these last two. I think I have a mental block against leprechauns because my mental imagery is composed primarily of cheesy cereal commercials; maybe that's why I have yet to actually meet one. Meanwhile I keep avoiding basilisk because it explicitly instructs killing DCs, which I am reluctant to do. I have no problem killing NPCs in RPGs and computer games, or experimenting with different ethical alignments in those environments, but dream feels different, like the stakes are higher. I'm not sure why. At any rate, given the options, I went with leprechaun again.

Would it be possible to create a rainbow indoors? I thought it over and figured that in dream, that should be entirely reasonable. And even though the shelves in this warehouse were only a bit over head-high, the ceiling itself was vastly higher overhead: the space was huge. So I started trying to conjure a rainbow. At first nothing happened. I put my hands together in front of me, touching at the sides with the palms up, and tried to use this as a focus to create a rainbow directly from my hands, arcing upward. I managed a weak one a few times, but they quickly fizzled out.

A young girl, maybe eight years old with blonde hair, noticed what I was doing and approached with an offer to help. "Sure," I said. I don't remember exactly what form her help took, she might have just added her concentration to my own, but with it my rainbows were getting better. I managed to make one finally that had bright colors, though there were only four of them and they were oddly separated into tube-like strips resembling neon lights, and shining with the same fluorescent intensity. Good enough for the task? I gazed at it critically, annoyed that there were only four colors. In response, the second tube from the left split down the middle and became two different colors. Good enough, I figured, and started looking for the end of the rainbow. But then that one flickered out, too.

Every time a rainbow failed, I regrouped and tried to improve my concentration. The four-color failure made me realize I needed to focus on what the colors of a rainbow actually were, so I started chanting them as I concentrated: "Red orange yellow blue indigo and violet...." I had a hard time keeping them in the right order, and after I woke up I realized that I had completely left out "green," an interesting difficulty given that while awake, I can easily and accurately recite the colors of the rainbow without a second thought.

The little girl continued in her role as my assistant, and now that I was working on the getting the colors straight we managed to produce a bright, very proper-looking rainbow. Best of all, it touched the floor right in front of us, so all we had to do was dig, presumably, to find the leprechaun and his gold. But no sooner had we rushed up to the spot than the rainbow disappeared again. This was getting annoying.

Just then I became aware of a commotion in the building. We were now standing outside one wide entrance to the warehouse, which opened onto what looked like an atrium of a shopping mall, still an enclosed space but walled with plate glass windows. People were rushing over to the windows in excitement, and through the windows I could see the people outside down below (we were around four storeys up) moving in the same direction.

The view through the glass looked out over an urban street and the row of buildings on the far side, beyond which the city ended at steep brown hills of nearly barren rock and earth. Everyone inside with us was pointing and staring at the hills, or hurrying outside to get closer to them, and the moment I looked out the window I could see why. An extraordinary rainbow had spontaneously appeared outside, and its end was clearly visible where it touched the side of one of the hills. The rainbow actually resembled the four-colour neon one that we had created earlier, but this one was exceedingly large and bright.

The hills were probably at least a mile away and too steep to climb by foot, so I knew I would have to fly. I started pushing out the large square glass panes in the wall above me, wondering if this was the most efficient way to leave the building, or if I should just walk the thirty yards or so to the exit everyone else was taking. (The exit occupied the space to our right that had formerly led into the warehouse, which was no longer visible.) The exit led onto a sort of sky bridge that crossed the road, so it would also be a fine place to take off from. I chastised myself for wasting mental energy deciding between trivialities and decided to just continue with the window.

After pushing out four panes to make a larger square, I grabbed the girl's hand and asked, "Have you ever flown before?" She shook her head. "Well, hold on tight." I levitated both of us up and through the space I had made. I did not feel physically obstructed by the metal frame that criss-crossed between the four panes of glass I had removed, though I felt a bit annoyed by the way I had so blithely floated through it. It felt careless. I mean, why bother taking out the glass at all if I was just going to pass ghost-like through the frame? I realized that again, I was letting myself getting bogged down with unnecessary and unhelpful mental baggage, but I've never felt comfortable "cheating," even in dream.

We flew high over the street and buildings bordering the city, and I realized how startling the experience of flight must be to someone who was unaccustomed to it. Indeed, the girl felt very tense at my side, and murmured plaintively, "I want to sit down." I felt it would be cruel to ignore her terror, so as soon as we cleared the city, I aimed for a flat outcropping of rock at the base of the hills. We came down fast and landed hard, much harder than I had ever landed when flying on my own, so I attributed it to her fear weakening my own buoyancy. As soon as we landed, I asked her, "Are you alright continuing?" She shook her head and I prepared to take off on my own, but even as my feet left the ground I felt myself waking up and was unable to forestall it.

A woman and I are running from a pursuer, another woman. "Faster, faster!" the first woman urges me. "Don't look back, it will slow you down." I don't see why I have to run away, but fine, I'll play along... I do look back, however, and I'm surprised how close the pursuer is. This motivates me to try to put some distance between me and her, so I run harder... and yet I can't seem to make much gain on her. I'm perplexed: I know I should be able to do this, I'm dreaming, it's not like I have to rely on my physical stamina. I wonder if the answer is in running with more short strides rather than trying to cover more distance with each step, much as one is advised to run in WL, so I try out variations. I'm making progress, but concentrating so hard on my running form is becoming tedious. "Imagining running is almost as hard as the real thing!" I comment to the woman fleeing with me. Getting bored with this situation I decide to put an end to it, and succeed in sprinting ahead to the point where I can turn a corner and leave the pursuer's field of vision, at which point I figure I've made a fair escape.

However, it turns out that my pursuer had an accomplice: I now find myself in a struggle with a huge brawny man with a shaggy brown beard. I perceive him as a Viking, and I'm aware that his name is Torvald. He is connected somehow with the woman who was chasing me earlier, and is likewise an antagonist. Our struggle manifests partially as a kind of combat, but it feels as much like a battle of dream control as a physical battle.

I easily resist Torvald's initial attempts to subdue me, but his immense confidence makes me wonder if I should doubt my own. I go on the offensive and try to put him out of action more permanently, trying various tactics to destroy his body. For instance, at one point I imagine his body being crushed by a great weight from above, and although this has him stretched out supine on the ground for as long as I'm actively thinking it, he is soon back on his feet. I try crushing his heart and throat from inside his body, but he is only briefly inconvenienced.

I wonder if fire would do the trick, and visualize Torvald's body burning to ash. Though I've said nothing aloud, he appears to understand my intentions, and rather than actively resisting like he did with my other attacks, he simply denies the efficacy of this approach. "Fire won't work," he tells me flatly. I refuse to acknowledge this and continue contentrating on the image of fire consuming him. "Fire won't work," Torvald tells me again. I'm thinking: how could this be? It's my dream, isn't it? Fire should work if I say it should work. So I redouble my focus on the fire. With patient indifference, Torvald insists: "Fire won't work." I find this disconcerting, because apparently my confidence is unable to overcome his. Aren't I the dreamer? But there is no time for philosophical questions; we are still in combat. I switch tactics: if he is resistant to fire, how about ice? I start to try to freeze him—even if it doesn't destroy him it might at least slow him down temporarily—but Torvald has found the opening he needed and pins me to the ground.

Torvald's inexplicable ability to ignore my attempts to burn him makes me wonder if I should worry that he could actually harm me. But I have a superpower too: as the dreamer, I am invulnerable... aren't I? I decide to play it safe, and secretly project my "real" identity to the roof of a nearby building. It is a large square brick structure about 8–10 stories high, and I crouch behind the low brick railing that surrounds the flat roof, tempted to peek out at the combat occurring down below but not wanting to let Torvald see me and discover the trick. So I transfer my perceptions back to my body on the ground, which I now regard as a mere DC, and thus disposable. If my attacker succeeds in destroying this body, it won't matter: I've secured my identity elsewhere. Torvald actually glances up toward the roof when I think this, and I quickly realize that I need to guard my thoughts as well.

"Do you have someone watching me?" Torvald asks. I am relieved, because although he suspects that there is an observer on the roof, he hasn't seen through my whole trick—he doesn't seem to recognize that the person up there is actually me. I project a new thought toward him, gleefully: I recall how undercover police have been tracking him, and that I've been using our encounter to distract and delay him until they were in position. Maybe none of this was true earlier, but it doesn't matter: this is a dream battle, so it is true now! When Torvald looks back down at me, I grin mockingly and deliberately call him by the wrong name, "Harald," just to annoy him further. The game is up, and my undercover officers move in and force Torvald to release me. I'm not sure what happens to him after that... pleased with having solved the dilemma, I simply walk away.

What's next? The last incident was not one that I had intended, but now I'm free to work on tasks. I enter a wide clearing and wonder if I should try the Dragon Age task again. I've always liked the idea of aligning dream space with fictional environments from books, films, or games, but I'm still trying to figure out how to do it. I suppose the first step would be to remember a concrete environment from the game and try to insert aspects of it here. I played DA:I just last night, so I should be able to access those memories... but as I seek them out I feel a tremor of dream instability, and decide not to push it. If there's a risk of waking, I should put that task off until later. For now, there are still a few TOTMs I haven't tried this month, and I decide to work on those.

"Taste a rainbow." That one is easy to remember. I imagine a rainbow in the sky, and produce something very faint and not at all rainbow-colored. The colors are largely ochres and earthtones, and not even in proper lines but arranged in a more tesselated pattern over the arch. I'm not being a perfectionist at this point, so I accept this as a "rainbow" and shrink it into a stick of candy in my hand. The colors have changed in the process, and for some reason the candy stick is white with swirls of red and blue. Still not rainbow-colored! But I take a bite. The texture is interesting, lots of little pieces that crunch between my teeth, but the flavor is a real disappointment: vague, muted, and blandly sweet. Apart from "sweet," no other descriptors really present themselves. This won't do. A rainbow should taste more unusual than this! I decide to start over.

This time I put more work into the rainbow itself. I first visualize it, then focus on the faint transparent arch until it becomes more clearly visible, but this also has the consequence of making it more material. Now it appears like a physical object, a two-dimensional vertical banner in an arch about ten feet high and twenty feet long, right in front of me. I work on correcting the pattern so that it has rainbow colors in properly aligned stripes... I see some improvement, although it is a C+ effort at best. It looks better than my last attempt, anyway, so I approach the "rainbow" and try to take a bite directly out of it. The experience is like... chewing on a shower curtain. It really feels like I've put a sheet of plastic in my mouth, although the material is soft enough to crush between my teeth. Again the texture is more prominent than the taste. I put all my attention on the flavor, trying to detect anything describable, and think maybe I get some underlying fruity notes, but again it remains vague and uninteresting. Taste and smell are the least developed of my dream senses... I wonder if I could improve them if I worked at it?

I feel like I have adequately completed the task, anyway, and wonder what to try next. In all my efforts with the rainbows I had hardly paused to note all the people sitting at various tables around this clearing, like picnickers, but observing them now, I figure it might be fun to try the magic show. What would a stage magician do? I guess the most basic tricks involve having something up one's hat or one's sleeve? I notice that I am completely naked, which has long since ceased to embarrass me in dreams, but gives me a mischievous idea.

"What's up my sleeve?" I start circling among the various tables, challenging the audience members to come up with a response. One of the first responses is: "Following a guy from Eton to [...]?" (I forgot the second place name.) This answer reminds me of the earlier scene, and how I resolved the conflict with Torvald. This DC must have been one of my officers! "Are you an undercover cop?" I ask him in reply. He grudgingly nods. "Not anymore!" I'm joking about how he has just blown his cover, but it also feels like an appropriate analogy to my own lack of sleeves... I'm not "undercover" either.

I continue asking, "What's up my sleeve?" and collect various other responses from the audience, all of which were non-sequiturs... but I reasoned that the illogic of the question itself (since there was no sleeve) invited such creative responses. After hearing from seven different people, I realized that I might have trouble remembering all this when I woke up, so I stopped and went over their answers again, one by one, to help fix them in memory. Already I had trouble recalling two of the answers, but one of the DCs helpfully reminded me, additionally pointing out that the answers varied between the metaphorical (things that never could go up a sleeve) and the literal ("Three shekels" was one of these answers, I think). Meanwhile I was getting ready for the grand finale to my show, when I would reveal my own answer to the question. I had been planning on the groaningly obvious "Nothing!" and was ready for the big reveal when I noticed that something had changed... now I was wearing clothes, including a short-sleeved shirt. I realized that if I was going to go for the groaningly obvious at this point, I would have to answer "My arm!"

I felt myself start waking up, and I already had a lot to remember and report so I didn't resist the process. I woke up slowly enough that I was able to concentrate on those seven answers from the DCs and hold them in mind, with what felt like excellent clarity and accuracy. And then something happened... as I crossed the threshold, despite all my care and preparation, the memories abruptly tattered, the details dissolving. The only one of the seven answers I could still remember, and that incompletely, was the first—and that I suspect only because it was anchored by its reference to the earlier scene.

There are no cars on the road. In fact, it seems to be completely abandoned. A little ways ahead, I see a silver rainbow starting in a cloud, and ending right on the road, but with a more slide type shape to it, starting out shallow, steepening, then ending with a shallow slope. I approach it and watch a group of clouds peacefully drift up above. I teleport to one of the clouds that is about as big as me, and float in it for a little bit. Then I use it as a sort of raft, and ride it down the silver rainbow like a water slide. Some condensation from the cloud and the rainbow gets my face a little moist, and it feels rather cool, but the rush of air blowing past me as I slide down dries it just as fast as it gets me wet. I do this a few times, choosing different clouds for each go, just softly going for rides. At the bottom, the clouds float me back up to the top automatically.

Monday,1st September 2014

Moon Cycle: 38% illuminated moving from Scorpio to Saggitarius

Tarot Card of the Day: King of Cups

Mayan Day: White Resonant Worldbridger

Dream

After WBTB from 07:20--->08:49

I find myself in a Dutch style house on a cliff face overlooking the dark green choppy sea.
The weather is gloomy outside and several greyish black clouds lie overhead.
In the room with me is my cousin,Jared.
I sit reading an article in the local newspaper which reports on a visionary artist getting credit for her dance floor decorations at BOOM festival in Portugal.
The picture in the article has many blue-indigo/purple fractal psychedelic backdrops with omnipresent 3rd eyes decorating the the stretchy material that the artist painted on. She stands next to her work smiling proudly.
I recognize a beautiful tall blonde tribal looking girl in the photo standing next to her.(false memory)

"Hey Jared, isn't this Mandy in the photo here?"I ask,as he comes over to check.
"Yep that's her,she's living at my house right now with Kim in the extra bedroom!",he replies excitedly.
"Wow that's awesome, she's such a gorgeous tantric goddess" I say, surprised by his statement,and hiding my streak of envy.

We decide that we want to go for a walk, but can't seem to make up our minds where to.
I suggest we go up to the caves on the cliff face as they are't too far away.
I open the front door and notice the grey clouds have turned black. There's a slight drizzle and looks as though it may turn into a full blown thunderstorm any minute.

"Hey man,it's raining outside...we can't go!"I shout through the door as he is still inside.
"No way!"he bellows back at me.
I feel kind of relieved as i wasn't to keen on the hike anyway.

Upon entering the house I cast my gaze through the glass sliding room door at the back of the house and see something absolutely amazing.

"Look outside! Its some kind of super rainbow!",I exclaim.
We both both gaze with mouths agape in wonder at the mutant rainbow. It looked as though 5 rainbows where alchemically squashed into one.The color spectrum was abnormally pronounced.

And that's when it struck me...Am i dreaming?
For some reason I chose a unorthodox reality check, and one i never use, trying to reaching out and grab the rainbow like Mr Stretch. I was successful and my arm stretched out of the suede green button up jacket that I wore, toward the quintuple rainbow.

The rush of lucid hit me and everything seemed to be fading quickly.
I began to rub my hands frantically and shout "Clarity now",although no enhancement was evident.
I also noticed that I could barely feel my hands, and it was if they where dead.
As all began to fade to black i decided to go for my last resort.I remember reading somewhere that falling backward can transport you to a new dreamscape. I did so, and I immediately plunged into darkness.
It felt as if my astral body was slammed back into my real body and felt as though i was lying in bed.
I kept my eyes closed and soon came to the realization it could be a false awakening.And it was indeed.

I felt as though I was being dragged by my legs while lying on my back and sensed a presence in the room with me.
I kept my eyes shut, fearing I would wake up if I opened them,and maintained a calm awareness on the bodily sensations which now turned from dragging/pulling to a vibration with accompanied loud sound.
The sensations started to fade so i decided to slowly opened my eyes.
Then something weird happened.
It was as if i opened my eyes to a brand new dreamscape,but only caught a small glimpse of it.
I can barely recall what it looked like, just a quick flash.

Then another "set" of eyes opened and i found myself in my bed lying on my left hand side back in my bedroom in waking reality. (I think...forgot to perform another reality check haha )

Dream - Lucid

I was back in time, sometime in my past, though I was still the age I am now. I was at an elementary school. I feel like I was in a group in a classroom.

Then, I was outside the school on a sunny day with this girl of about 9 or 10. She was my friend, but I knew that she would soon just stop talking to me with no explanation as to why (this happened IWL a few years ago with a guy I had become good friends with). We were wearing two-piece bathing suits, or at least I was. I was peeing into the stream of water from this garden hose, and it was turning my pee rainbow. It smelled like piss. I feel like the pissing in the hose stream had something to do with why the girl would eventually stop talking to me.

~

I was with my old friend Bret. He had gotten me this really long, white pipe that had like 4 huge bowls on it that stuck out from the sides. I had it stored away somewhere. It was full of weed in each bowl, but the weed looked like salad with chopped up tomatoes or red bell peppers in it. I saw it in the hiding place we had for it in my apartment.

I was then somewhere else, not sure where though. I want to say I was at the grocery store. I was afraid Bret was going to go smoke all the weed and not save any for me. I had heard him talking about smoking out of that pipe to someone. I was upset, because I wanted to smoke all the weed. I remember saying something to him about it at some point. I was thinking to myself also that I did not have any weed other than the weed in the giant bowls in that pipe, and I didn't know where I could get more; I always hated trying to find weed. I was anxious to get back home to protect and smoke my weed.

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment at some point. It was during the daytime.

~

I was at my old job talking to my friend Kristin who still works there. I figured out she was no longer dating David, but was together with one of my exes, Austin. Interesting.

I then saw Kristin carrying a baby. I knew it was her and David's. It was a girl, barely older than a newborn; she was quite tiny, even for being a baby. Maybe she was a premature baby. I kept looking at her, trying to see if she looked mixed, since David is black and Kristin is white, but she just looked white to me. She was wearing a light blue headband with a bow on it. I saw her looking at Kristin, and she winked. I knew that both of her parents winked, so she probably picked it up from them. The wink looked very intentional, and did not match her baby face, however; it looked so adult-like. She then looked at me and winked. Again, it didn't fit the child's face. She then winked again, this time with her other eye, and then again with another eye around where her nose would usually be. That's when I noticed that she had three eyes.

I was then with Austin and Kristin inside somewhere. I feel like it had something to do with cars. They seemed happy. I remembered Kristin telling me how happy she had been with David, how she had told me once that she was "on cloud nine" (she did say this to me IWL). I wondered what had happened in the short amount of time I had been gone. Either Kristin or Austin then had to leave, I think Austin. I said something to someone else, Cherie' maybe, about Kristin and Austin fucking.
"Of course they've fucked," she said back to me.
I wondered how much she liked his big dick.

~

Tried to do some MILD mantras last night as I was falling asleep ("I will become lucid"). Fell asleep doing them. No dice. Up quite early today for work, earlier than usual. I am glad to see last night's dreams weren't totally uninteresting. Hoping for lucidity again soon. Maybe on a morning when I can sleep in a little. Just gotta keep trying.

Dream - Lucid


I was with my husband at what was supposed to be the house he grew up in. The house was small with wooden floors. His family was there; we were visiting them for the holidays.

I was in his room with him, and I saw this HUGE black and white spider sitting on the air vent on the floor. So unsettling...I hate spiders so much. I don't think I said anything about it to my husband, but I was super freaked.

Then, there was this other giant spider, but this one was red and black. It was chasing my foot wherever I moved it. I was panicking. It opened its mouth and hissed at me. I somehow deduced that this spider was poisonous because of this. I moved further away from it. There was another giant spider there at this point as well.

I then was laying in my husband's childhood bed with him. It was nighttime, and quite dark in the room. I was laying there with my eyes opened because I couldn't sleep due to the damn spiders. I made up my mind that I couldn't be laying in that bed with all the spiders lurking about. I told him that.

There was more to this dream, but I cannot remember.

~

I was going to spend the holidays with mine and my husband's family, though not all at the same time. We would be with my family one day, like on Christmas Eve, and his on Christmas Day. I remember being in the kitchen at the house I grew up in and reading a text or a note on paper about this. It was from my mother-in-law.

Then, my friend Cherie' said her dad (never met him IWL) said my husband better see him for the holidays. I was concerned that he wouldn't make it to my family's in time if he did that.

The next thing I remember is being in our apartment. We were in the living room, and Cherie's dad, who, in my dream, was a short, fat man, maybe Cherie', and my friend Ashley's brother's wife came in. Ashley's brother may have been there as well.

Some of them sat down on our couch. Cherie's dad and Cherie' started to play fight. One had been on the couch, and the other on the floor.

Then, I was designing some tube-like roller-coaster ride with Courtney S. It was indoors, and would take you in a flume in the water through this small opening. It looked as if adults could not ride because the opening was so short. Then, you would ride in this rainbow tube really fast; you would ride what you designed. It was kind of like CyberSpace Mountain at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney.

I designed one for Courtney and I to ride. I remember putting in lots of drops and sharp turns and a couple of loops at the end. We went to go ride it. We were sitting in the flume, and Courtney was sitting in front of me. She was wearing a white shirt. I was surprised she fit through the short opening, because she is very tall. Before we could enter the tube, I fell out of the flume into the water. I somehow got back in, but I'm not sure how. The ride was very fun and wild, though I think I only got to ride the last part of it since I had fallen out before.

Then, Courtney designed a ride. For some reason, I couldn't be there. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw this flash of a long poem. Courtney had written it. It was about how much she loved me (not in a romantic way, but in an unconditional way). Though I didn't get a chance to really read the words, I intuitively knew that that's what it was. Cherie' then told me that the ride Courtney had designed was an expression of her love for me. I knew inside that she was not upset that I wasn't there for the ride. She understood.

~

I don't remember where I was, but it was very realistic. Something seemed weird, though I can't remember what it was exactly, so I did a finger count RC. I looked down at my left hand, and could immediately tell I had too many fingers. I counted just to make sure, and got six.

Holy crap! I'm dreaming! I honestly didn't expect the RC to work; I thought it was real life!

I remembered my goals quite clearly, and really wanted to try to dream share again, but I did not feel that I was in a deep enough sleep to do it (will explain more about this at the end). Instead, I approached some DCs and asked them some questions, and of course, had to tell them that we were in a lucid dream.

Then, something about my wedding photographer, Rachel. She was coaching me with something, though she wasn't supposed to be. I can't remember what it was though! I was in a room with her.

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I was still lucid, and Rachel had gotten moved to another location. I found her. More coaching. I remember flying or floating at some point. I thought about it too hard at first and it failed, then remembered I could just think about it and it would be so. And so I just thought about it without focusing too hard, and I floated up.

Woke up, went back to sleep. I would say I was semi-lucid for the rest of the dream.

They had again moved Rachel, but this time, I had to get caught with her the first time I went in. It was very video game-esque. I had to go into this temple, or pyramid. It reminded me of Ancient Egypt. There was water flowing in the opening I entered, and light was then coming through a small opening where the water was falling into the pyramid. I knew that was where Rachel was, but she was with someone else, someone who did not want me there. I do not even think that this someone was human. What I had to do was go through the opening, get caught and thrown out, and then have to find a new way in because the original way would get blocked off. The lights would also be out; I would have to do it in darkness.

I then was having to load up these dirty dishes onto this conveyor belt that took them up into an incinerator. I'm pretty sure I was naked? Anyway, I would have to run up some stairs to grab all the dishes that were empty or unused, and take them off the belt and put them somewhere else to be recycled. I was explaining this process to someone. I then loaded the dishes on the belt, checking first to see if they were empty so I could remember which ones were and weren't when I got up the stairs. I loaded a bunch, then raced up the stairs. The belt was moving too fast for me to save every dish, and I could not focus on seeing which ones were dirty and which ones weren't. I pushed a button to bring the last dish put into the incinerator back out. I put that one aside for recycling.

Then, when I woke up again, I stayed awake. I felt rested, so did not try to push any more sleep; when I do this, I wake up with a headache, especially after lucidity.

~

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about dream sharing and deep sleep: I have found that when I wake up in the morning after a pretty decent amount of sleep during the night, I am more likely to become lucid from being awake for a little while; it stimulates my brain, and I am able to become lucid much more easily. However, there is a catch: I cannot hold the dream for as long as I would be able to if the dream occurred during the sleep I get at night when I am the most exhausted. When I become lucid during the night, I have much longer lucids and can perform more tasks, such as dream sharing, for example, though I have only dream shared a handful of times. At any rate, the dream quality is better, and I am less likely to wake prematurely. When I attempt things like this during the morning after I have already gotten plenty of sleep, it fails or I wake up. Usually both. So I decided not to attempt it this morning, because I knew I would wake up, and, of course, my morning lucidity was peppered with awakenings. It happens a lot for me in the mornings, but, like I said, this does not usually occur during the night, though I am less likely to become lucid during my nighttime dreams. I am hoping that I can find a way to improve this. I may try the WBTB method during the night, but when I wake up during the night, many times I have difficulty going back to sleep. If anyone has any advice, let me know.

February 27th, 2014

6:45 am non-lucid

Dream 3

Traveling, perhaps in Japan, all sorts of weird weather phenomenon. Such as a rainbow that half way through turned into heavy clouds.

Dream 2

Visited a Japanese store in the U.S. with my husband, met with a young teen who goes to the same high school my husband went to. He was being bullied, so I invited him to sit with us. We had our tablets out and talked about Graal. Fourth person entered discussion. I was tempted to download it again and explained I'm from the PC generation and don't really like the Android version. Harder to control and some people there are rude. Boy was sitting on opposite side of the table then moved to my side. Got out his portable DVD player or something like it and started playing a music video in which a girl is naked, her breasts clearly exposed. I though it was weird he had no shame in watching it in front of us. He got out a 2nd device and started laying Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (drama version) and I told him I haven't finished that drama yet but have seen that episode. He had four devices total out.

Earlier in the dream before meeting him but still in the store, I got out my 3DS from my backpack to turn it on sleep mode so that I can meet people in the shop. Screen had notably more scratch-like smudges than before. I wanted to wipe them off but had no felt. Blamed my husband for taking the felt.

After we all left by train, the boy, who was only in the U.S. for the weekend, took the train going south, while my husband and I took the train going north. We got to the train by going up the stairs. It was so crowded. I got separated from my husband who was in a booth. I went to a crowded seated area and sat in a long single seat with a feet rest facing the window. I thought it was weird, but then I saw a close friend of mine in a different train below from the window in the same kind of seat but not facing the window. I let my husband know I made it on the train, perhaps through a text.

A little girl from the daycare I work at called out my name from behind. She was sitting in the same kind of seat. Stranger was sitting next to her. I wondered why she was all alone. She looked so excited.

Dream 1

Snowy day (?), ordered pizza. Pizza guy was mad, perhaps because we were close to the pizza store (?). But my husband and I thought we were justified.

Finished writing at 7:06 am.

9:53 am non-lucid

Woke up many times from alarm, just didn't want to get up.

Had a dream that I went to see a live show. I think the scenario repeated itself twice. Went to balcony floor. Performer complained, but more people started coming up anyways.

Classmate was in the dream. Was given a prize trip to Connecticut and rolled his eyes. As the next prize fell I grabbed for it. I think the prize was cleaning supplies. I gave it to the person next to me. When I went to grab for it, it was going in that person's direction and I kind of leaned over to grab it. Though, my classmate, even though he doesn't know what the prize is, looked like he wanted to trade.

Performer asked Andy from The Office what he thought of the show, and he gave a good response and dropped my name in appreciation for reasons I don't remember. He used my internet alias, lumiina. Attention was on me. I tried to make a nice comment, but didn't appear sincere. I didn't really like the performer and thought he was a jerk.

Original entry dated May 10, 2002:

I dreamt I was paddling a rowboat through a sea of kittens.

Original journal entry dated May 19th, 2002:

I had a dream that I was a skater-type person, in a forest with REALLY huge trees, and there was one tree that had an incredible long ramp up into its boughs... the ramp was extremely steep, to the point that one could not walk up it.

I was skating around on the ground, and then these gangster type people drove up in a low-rider and started to threaten me because it was very dark and I was alone... in this one, though, I was male, looked blonde and surfer-dude-ish, and VERY 80s in a bad teenie flick sort of way. So I got scared and pulled a rolled-up rainbow out of my pocket (it was a very narrow rainbow, maybe a foot across) and threw it toward the ramp. It unrolled and created a glowy rainbowy escalator thing, and I jumped on it and started riding up the ramp into the tree. I was holding little metal bars in my hand that made ringing noises, and the pitch of the ringing changed as I got higher, so I would know how safe it was. But I had to hold them very straight and level and parallel, or else they wouldn't ring correctly. It was very dark and humid and exotic up in the treetop, and the sky was a pretty color of deep blue, lapis blue. The foliage was all dewy, and there was a tribal type of llady up in the treetops, and she made sure that I got up and down correctly. So I rode up and down the rainbow...

Somehow, my ex-boyfriend was in on the whole "rainbow" thing and had been watching... so after all was said and done, I wound up hanging out with him at night, God only knows why, and it was around Christmas. He and his mom were looking at various miniature Christmas trees and trying to decide which one to put in the kitchen (which is even more unusual because they're Jewish), they all looked pretty beaten up, one of them spun around and lit up, but they couldn't agree and were arguing with each other, then his mother asked me what my opinion was and I just shrugged and tentatively suggested the spinny one. I thought his mother was being unusually nice to me, considering, but didn't overly dwell on it. For a split second I turn around and he is several inches taller than me, I'm astonished and do a double-take and he's back to his regular (diminutive) height.

He seemed to know more about my life than he should, as usual criticizes me on a number of points and is somewhat caustic. I take it too hard because, well, I always take things too personally. Turns out Joe's been rooming with a female friend of his, I felt a tinge of jealousy but it turns out that they're just roomies in a conversation I have with him, we talk about "old times", then the conversation and dream cut off indefinitely.

Then it changes to a movie set. My friends and I, as our Independent Study Project, are making a movie, but our budget sucks because it doesn't exist, and somehow the rainbow is still here. So we all wind up riding around on it and it tends to defy the laws of physics, and somehow we get stuck in an alternate dimension, where we turn into different sorts of RPG characters, and all still VERY 80s, and one of our characters is a prissy bitch but she's the mage so we've got to put up with her. Even though she sucks at being a mage. But she winds up being REALLY badass later on. Then, I'm swimming down the river because we lost track of the rainbow, and get attacked by these little pygmy people who are shooting arrows - ineffectively - at me. So I laugh at them until the tribal African lady, who has somehow become my guide, informs me that the poison on the arrows was so potent that had one just barely nicked my skin I would have died instantly. So then I got all upset and scared and nauseous...

Anyway, it ended with us successfully completing the ISP with the footage from our adventure, everybody thought that a "documentary" approach to fantasy was really neat-o. We held a screening of it in a tiny theatre-type room that doesn't exist at New College - but in the dream, we went to a big university, not New College - and the professor who evaluated it was very old and sort of doddering.