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dream : comments : lucid

January 20th, 2012

My recall has been pretty bad these past couple of days for some reason. I haven't been remembering any dreams before about 6am. I got my galantamine today though, so we'll see if that has any impact!


At a camp ground, someone was getting the shit bashed out of him by a bottle but he deserved it somehow.

-----

I was hanging out with Michel Gondry (!). He showed me a short film called 'Widen' and said that if I understood it, I could help him with his next feature film.
We were in a bedroom and he started by drawing three rounded pillars on a blackboard and asked me what they were. I said I thought they were people and he seemed disappointed in the answer. Then the movie started.

There was a scene in a kitchen where fruit and veggies and eggs were all bouncing around on the benchtop by themselves and started cutting themselves up. Then there was a part where these guys were pretending to shoot guns with their fingers. All of the footage was intercut with images of a sad guy sitting at a train station.

Pretty standard Gondry, basically


I didn’t get it.

Self Esteem

We were skating around some strange place with my friends. There has been a giant recent loss in self esteem for some reason in the whole world. Me and the guys decide to hang out in someone's house which I remember as being pretty well furnished. Since I was the most confident in the group, I had to go get the snacks. Everything is kinda dirty on the way out, I arrive at this guys store. He's a fat middle euro guy behind a glass kind of shield. Asks me what I want and the first thing that I ask for doesn't need to be paid for so then he spends a long time complaining about how I never pay for anything but then I remember that I have to get snacks so I get a shit ton of candy bars and two giant bags of mini resee's and then I poke fun at him "I never buy anything?" we joke and laugh and on the tv a news story comes on about the crisis in the world's loss of self esteem. I found it upon myself that I had to be a hero for the world and have more self esteem than everyone else and somehow save the day.

Rock Fights and Boarding

Was with my mom outside what kinda reminded me of a place near my house. she gets really mad at me so I have to follow her to figure it out. I get on my knees slowly and try to explain my recent anger. She silently brings me on this double decker coach bus which was the local transit in the dream the bus drive is mad at us fr talking forever but the new money system was hard to figure out. the door finally goes through and we go to the mall which is much more grandiose and modern looking than it already is. She walks me to rainforest cafe, all the time I was asking, with no reply what she as doing. So I guess we're gonna have a talk here. Some reason I leave, find the car and drive it back to another neighborhood. I go back to my house, which now i so a really steep hill. There is a strange knife fighting asian guy who wants to kill me. We fight for a while, swing our knives at each other, dealing out heavy blows. I have a "hunting rock" which I know with three good blows to the head will kill hi. Instead I keep aiming for his ribs...i don't want to kill him. I've hit him twice on the head and multiple times in the ribs. I hit him again in the ribs and can hear his ribs crack. He chokes up blood and goes limp. I back up a little and he jumps out. He was only pretending. He comes at me and something in my mind changes the dream is flickering and I was half waking up. I realized that I was dreaming and became lucid. Something about this lucidity was really weird though. The dream was still flickering and fading and I was still slightly waking up but I didn't try to stabilize the dream. He hit me over the head with something and I acknowledged the pain and then ignored it. I give him one more great hit in the ribs. he's done. I think his father was around to pick him up and go. I forget it's a dream...I get out of the house and the down hill looks really good as a long-boading thing. The hill is really traffic-y and cars are going down really fast in waves toward this tol booth thing. I see that my longboard is down there leaning on a tree, when I get back there I realize tha I left something up at the house, I start walking back tot he house but decide I don't need it, look back and my longboard is gone. I freak out for a long time but then my mom drives by and gives me a backpack with my longboard. its some move of reconciliation from an earlier fight. I go down the hill boarding

Herpes

. I'm with this one black girl that I've met, kinda chunky but I'm still diggin her. We back into an alley way get out of the car and into this door. We were in there for a long time and through a window I can see my car. While we're talking I see that a bunch of cars are trying to pass mine but they just stop. They're trying to pass it on both sides but my car is blocking them. I forget it and start making out with the girl in her room (which is a replica of my room). We really start going at it and were both shirtless and kissing all over. Before I take off her underwear I ask if she has herpes and she barely answers and I assume she does and I ask if she's having an outbreak, she says yes pulls down her pants and shows me it. I say I can't do it and go to get dressed. She's noticeably frustrated and angry as I walk around the room and pick up my clothes and put them on. She pulls up her pants while lying on the bed being all pissy. It was weird because there was one second where I looked at her and she was 10 times hotter than before, then it was back to normal. She wasn't ugly, just average. I go outside of the room and see that my car windows have been smashed and the whole car was stripped and pushed to the side so that people could get through. The car weakly starts on the second try but can't stay in park and the emergency break barely works. As I get back out of the car and then back into the house, I can hear her frustrated screams from inside "I get half way 3 times a week but I can't get fucked!!?" I cautiously go back inside telling her about my car and she's mad at me and tells me she can't deal with it now. I accidentally go into another room (which would've been my mom's room) but it was where her dad was sleeping. Also, I could hear one of her parents with the tv on the whole time before this but that was no big deal. The dad, with messy covers drawn over him in the dim room looks at me and says "oh its you, the [something wispy like smoke I think]" I say I am not one of those and try to head back to my car, I want to turn back and say that I lived here before they did but I don't...

I'm going to write a bit longer dream today from the past - the recall still isn't good, but at least I've returned to monophasic sleeping lately.

Mom's Diner - Just Kill Me Already
Date: August 21th, 2009
Lucid: Yes
Method: DILD

I thought I was at home, but there were some guys from the army doing some kind of ice...thingie. There was a pool made of concrete and the guys were pouring ice-cold water into it for it to freeze. For some reason I decided to jump into the water. I didn't feel the coldness, but the water started to freeze and resist my movement right away. I asked the army guys to help me up and luckily they did help me out of the pool. I was wondering whether I should help the guys in this freezing thing they were doing, but then they started talking:
"Have you tasted mom's delicacies yet?"
"Nope."
"Well go have a taste!"

I had changed into army uniform and the place overall resembled the garrison I had been a year earlier in reality. "Mom" was apparently some diner runner there. She seemed to be really liked. She actually looked like one lady that indeed did work in the army in reality. Nobody called her mom though.

Still I had not actually seen her in the dream though (just getting ahead of myself). I was at the door of the place and there was some kind of candle rack (is it said like that?) that I managed to accidentally cause to fall. Actually this resembles again a real-life situation - in the army I did back into a flower stand and the jar where the flower were broke. I guess that embarrassing situation left strong marks into my subconscious. Anyway the "Mom" was there looking at me like I'm some kind of madman. I apologized for tipping that rack over and was relieved that I didn't break anything.

I wandered around the place a bit. There were plenty of free tables, but I didn't find any place where to order anything. I ventured even further and then realized, that the "diner", wasn't any diner but more like a department store. There were a lot of small shops and stuff. For example there was Mom's kiosk, where you could get some food for travel, at least according to it's slogan. I kept zig-zagging the place. Finally I ended up in the other side of the place and went out from there.

People were going to some stadium outside. It resembled Berlin's Olympic Stadium, at least according to my notes, even though I have no idea what Berlin's Olympic Stadium looks like. The place was shutting down because Mom was going there. I gotta say that all of the people just talking about this mom made me very curious.

I went back into the "diner"/department store and looked for the kiosk. I planned to buy couple of chocolate bars to at least have something to eat, even if not Mom's acclaimed food. But no, the place was just shutting down. One of my former classmates was there gathering up things. What, he now works there? My brain works in a fucked up way sometimes... I felt like stealing the chocolate bars, because of this unfortunately timed closing time, but I ended up deciding against it.

That was when I realized, that I had been in the store for a long time. I started to wonder whether I should be back with the dudes at the concrete pool who were doing the freezing shit. Wow, amazing consistency in my dreams. This is the kind of dreams I'd like to enjoy while lucid, dreams where everything holds together, is logical and stays consistent. Too much to ask for, I guess.

Because even while this wasn't yet lucid, the logic and consistency of it sort of died right there. I went out of the store and where was I? At the local community center's front yard. I realized that this wasn't possible. Lucidity was inevitable at that point. The dream also (unsuprisingly) really started to lose it's quality.

There's a road going in front of it and I saw multiple trucks coming there. They really drove in wildly and had the trucks slide sideways because of turning too much, etc. Some tough-looking dudes came out of the trucks when they finally had stopped. The gang surrounded me. They were armed with assault rifles, though hilariously some of them had that red end that toy guns have at the end of the barrels.

They started acting all tough on me. Me being lucid I had zero fear, so I just acted tough back. Shame I don't remember the dialogue exactly. He was pointing his rifle at me and I just dared him to shoot me. I really pushed him. I ordered him to shoot me. I wanted to die. Yet he just kept threatening, instead of doing it. I realized he was not going to do it unless I do something more drastic.

I grabbed one of his gang members under my arm and threatened him. "Unless you shoot me, your friend is gonna suffer!"

Instead of shooting me like any sane thug would have done, he just reversed it. He said that my friend is gonna die if I don't stop - and as "my friend" he referred to the guy I had just grabbed. What the fuck? That's the worst illogicality I've ever seen in a dream. Dude, it's your friend, not mine.

I resiliently kept pissing him off so he finally obliged me and pulled the trigger. The gun just clicked. It was empty. He didn't even have ammo this whole time? What a retard! Besides, this already happened in my earlier dream (I just realized this). I guess empty guns are a dream sign for me. Then again, any guns at all are a dream sign for me. Anyway, I figured that I'm not going to get killed here, so I tried to pull out a gun from my pocket using passive control, just "knowing" it is there. It didn't work.

I tried to throw myself into the ground again as I noticed that the dream was crumbling fast. I ended up into my bed in a false awakening. I did like a million reality checks and by all means I should have realized I was still dreaming, but I still went to the kitchen to look for some more evidence. Too bad I was in a tight timeframe anyway, as I woke up then.

Don't remember anything except having a wild a day or two ago...recall is so bad that I only remember the transition of falling through my bed

Last night's dreams consisted of various "episodes" or "segments"---which is somewhat unusual in relation to my normal sleeping habits. I might have been woken up several times. That night I also slept for an inordinate amount of time.The order of these events is somewhat ambiguous, I believe they go in opposite order in time, but here it goes:

1) My boyfriend wants me to hook him up with a hooker. She's running on wet asphalt with pink heels. This has something to do with a comment he made in real life about getting a blowjob from a hooker in Amsterdam as a "souvenir." That comment really upset me lol.

2) My grandmother tries to "justify" the previous situation because "we can build a castle on the balcony because that's what you did with your last friend."

3) At some point in my apartment, me, my boyfriend, and his two brothers are all sleeping on my bed--I between my boyfriend and his twin. For some reason I'm attracted to his brother even though I'm not attracted to him in real life.

4) I'm on a high-speed train located in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil that goes to international locations--maybe continents. I get off the wrong one--this happened in real life when I moved to Brazil.

5) Some of my old friends that I knew in Brazil are climbing a sand structure in a Minecraft environment. For what reason I do not recall.

6) I find a huge sand cave in a Minecraft environment--belonging to a girl--the middle of which lies a chair and a piano.

7) I'm on a tour somewhere

I was in the school gym. There were lots of mats spread out on the floor. My class was grouped in a corner on one of the large mats. I tried keeping up with the exercises but my legs were hurting, and I could barely walk, let alone do jumping jacks. I just waited on the floor for everyone to be done (some people were sitting anyway). After that I had to move to my next period, which was Spanish in the dream. Outside of the gym was a machine that gave out free ice cream, but there was only a few in it and everyone wanted some. I inched through the crowd and grabbed a chocolate bar. I unwrapped it and ate it while walking down the hall. The school looked so unfamiliar. I came to an outdoor section of the school, and realized I went the wrong way. I also saw my old language arts teacher. There was a table, and i remembered that I had to pick up a slip for something for school. I went back the way I came and wound up in the front of the building. There were a lot of people gathered here. All of a sudden a huge train pulled in through a gate next to the entrance. It was one of those really old steam powered trains. One kid got off. Apparently his dad owns a private train and was just driving his son to school. After it parked, the top of it made a flat path from the ledge I was standing on, so I jumped on top of it and a few others followed me. As I got closer to the back of the train, it got harder to advance forward. There were ledges to hold onto, but they were awkwardly placed. I almost fell off, but my alarm woke me up before that.

It started with me walking through the mall, the one in my hometown. I was by myself, but i got a phone call from a friend who lives in another state.

"Hey where you at?"

"I'm in the mall, on the side with the food court"

"Okay, i'll be over there in a second"

So i just kind of wandered around on that side of the mall until i saw him coming towards me. Then i walked over to him, and we shook hands and started walking to the other side of the mall. We just kept walking and talking. I remember him wanting to go into Hot Topic, which threw me off a little, because he wouldn't shop in a store like that. Then we just kept walking, and i remember seeing this line of people waiting for something in the middle of the mall. The line lead nowhere, they were just lined up in those dividers for lines they use in fast food restaurants.

I got in line, and once i was in line it was like my friend who i met up with was gone. But i didn't think anything of it, i just stood there in line. Then i saw another one of my friends from high school walking towards the line. He was with a few people, i wasn't sure if i knew them or not. Maybe they were just DC's. He walked up to me and shook my hand, and then we started talking.

"Hey what you doin' in here?"

"Just standing in line."

What should have threw me off was the fact that he had on a shirt from my university, and he's not even in college. He said something about being on the football team and the people that were with him were also. I asked him how'd he get into my school, because i remember him not giving a fuck about his grades....

"Man, i had straight A's my senior year, so they let me in. Now i'm on the football team."

At this point i was really thrown off and thinking to myself...
"This muthafucka did NOT have no damn straight A's...and he damn sure not good enough to be on our college team..wtf..."

So i did a quick RC, i plugged my nose and i was still breathing. Between that, and all the other dream signs i should've become lucid. But i didn't, i just remember still standing there in line until the dream ended....

The family and I finally decided to make the move to Red River, and get a cabin-style house in the mountains, with a posh interior. Where'd the money for that come from! The first one we found was cute, the inside was nice, and the garage had a little extra room built inside it that was all white washed with a small closet inside it. We moved all our stuff into the garage and went out (to eat I think, can't remember).

I took Chris and Nicole back to our new house, and Danny left to work a night shift. We ended up at a different house than the one we moved in to. Nicole said "Yeah this one is even better than the other one Lisa!" And it really was, it was bigger, the inside looked like something out of one of those fancy homes magazines, entirely furnished. The garage was bigger, and had that same little white-washed room but it was bigger, had a closet and a bathroom in it, and a ceiling fan and some shelves and a place to hook up to cable. I thought, this would be a great room for Nicole's slumber parties so they don't wake us up all night. I messed with the strange light in the garage, and noticed all our stuff had already been moved into THIS garage. I was like wow, that was fast.

Nicole, Chris and I retired into the living room, that had beautiful ambient lighting, and we lit the fire place. I started looking at a furniture magazine so I could start ordering some new stuff for the house. But everytime I saw something in the magazine I wanted, I would look up and it was already in the livingroom. I told Nicole, "Wow, do you think the former tenants meant to leave us all this cool stuff?" And she said "I know right? They'll probably come back for it though. I think they still live here. I just moved all our stuff from the other house to this one because I like it better, and the door was unlocked and no one was home." I said, "Oh my god we have to call your father NOW"

19.01.2012

No dream recall (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I couldn't recall any dreams, I think it's because I'm more worried about waking up early and getting adjusted to the new schedule of mine in college.

Nothing about celebration or anything, but I guess these are the dreams I got for my birthday, or would tomorrows dreams be my birthday dreams? I don't know, but I guess i'll find out.

-Dream 1- pillaging-

Attila the hun was on a ridge above a small village. he and all of his forces charge and begin pillaging the village. I am a passive observer, watching all of this going on without any real emotional attachment. One of the soldiers finds a small child, the mother bursts out of the home and tries to protect her child, she carries the child into the house and attempts to hide him. the soldier follows her into the house. he tells her to lock the child into a nearby dog crate. she does so, hoping to keep the child safe. the soldier drags her into the bedroom, at this point I put up a mental block so that I cannot see what is going on.

skip to next day?

the child manages to get out of the dog crate, the soldier and his mother are hanging (floating?) in midair, they have shrunken bodies and razor sharp teeth. he screams in terror, they scream with bloody rage, he runs, they give chase.


-Dream 2 Raven Knight-

I also have a vague memory of Raven Knight asking if I want to have a shared dream, she had a place in mind that sounded something like Renzor or Reznor... something with an R. the word gave me the impression of a fantastical fantasy setting city.

Not much of a recall night, last night, but I do remember this little fragment.
---
18/1/12
I am on a cruise ship with the family [again with the family!] and we have this tiny, but full-grown, ape of about 5 inches in height. It's so cool, constantly climbing on us and swinging around the boat - but that's all I remember of it.

Later on my dad orders two waters from the bar, and explains to the barmaid the best way to do it. He asks for two cylindrically-shaped lemons and ice which as been scraped off a larger block with a knife. Tasted fucking fantastic.

Last night:

There's a house in front of my school. I only remember looking at it once while waiting on the bus. My dream captured that house image perfectly. because this morning, it looked exactly the same as the one in my dreams.

Anyway, I was in schoo, doing whatever. I can't be sure if this was the entire dream up until the point, but in any case, as I left school, my mother was at the entrance. She told me we were moving into the house across the street from the school. I look to the left of the house, and there's a giant brown lake. The sky is pitch black at 3 PM. I think I see steam coming from the lake. She tells me we're suddenly in Canada. I scream.

Two nights ago:

All I remember is being on a sofa bed, and a giant snowstorm is outside. A giant face is suddenly in my window, staring at my sleeping body. I wake up.

It is now 7:28am and I am too afraid 2 go back 2 sleep

I did my 1st WILD/Lucid Dream last nite so I was TOTALLY AWAKE but u know the rest...anyway, @ 1st it was taking 4ever 4 me 2 get my soul 2 leave my body...so then I turned on my back and I kept patting my hands which I saw in a vid 2 enhance my soul to leave my body....this was going on for quite some time but I was determined NOT 2 give up.

Finally, after what seemed like forever...suddenly I actually felt my soul starting to rise out of my body...I was so geeked as I could actually feel this happening....it was such a very-very-very slow process & movement but again...I was not about 2 give up.

Finally, my body I believe got all the way right to the very tipy-tip of my body & then it just STOPPED and would not go any further...at 1st I kept doing various techniques 2 enhance my body floating up (climbing up a rope, elevator...) but @ this junction I could no longer concentrate...So, this is bothering me greatly because my body just hung there dormit like & would not 'ascend'....so then I felt my right hand floating upwards...so @ 1st i thought again it was my sould going upwards but then I realized no, it definitely was my right arm extending up in the air but not @ full extension...not my left arm because it was underneath my covers.

So now I'm like oh #### my hand is just hanging in the air....which felt like forever....and then its as though something was in the room with me...It's so weird 2 try 2 explain but its as though something was taking each one of my fingers and placing it on something?? @ this junction I'm scared-I mean really scared & my heart starts racing....so now I'm trying to calm my self & whatever happened my main focus was NOT 2 try 2 move anything more than I'm suppose 2 because remember, I'm suppose 2 be sleeping...

I wanted 2 open my eyes but I was too scared...then I felt like trying 2 grab whatever was moving my fingers but again I was too scared....so then naturally tears started streaming down the right side of my eye...just on the left side...so now i'm thinking I have 2 control my emotions....I tried as smoothly as I could 2 move my finges a bit 2 see what I could FEEL....I felt my fingers go over something?? can't explain really...and then its as though each finger was laid on something?? because my fingers weren't tired from just hanging in the air...and the object felt like a metal plate?? but was very solid 2 the touch....I was not worried one bit my fingers would slide off...

I'm not sure if its because of my tears which now I cried about 3x's or something was looking directly over me and could tell my eyelids were not moving in REM but whatever it was knew something....it left my soul was hanging @ the point it was at and would not go any further...I was a bit scared that I would get tired & move but I never got tired...

the next thing I knew my fingers were being put back in its original position but it was done with such care and very-very slowly as not to awaken?? me....and then my soul started to go right back in my body....I started to shed more tears because @ that point I felt like I failed somehow??? and my soul never fully ascended....and I wasn't sure if whatever was with me was still in my room so for some time I didn't move but then finally, I played it off and I turned over and grabbed my stuff bunny rabbit & hugges it very tightly...

My body @ that point when I went to turn over felt so heavy and then my body felt really-really weird...like my soul didn't go back all the way yet and so it felt strange within my normal body....and I kept crying more & more now so I knew this wasn't any good...so again I played it off....yawn and opened my eyes and went to the bathroom....when finish I looked in my small make-up mirror I have on the wall...and there was this white line from my eyes all the way to my ear....like my tears were made from salt...I wet my shirt and had to rub hard to get it off.

In another recent dream I had I heard someone in my bedroom give 2 command words which I cannot remember now & then PUFF just like that I saw this portal open up in the sky and thinking my soul?? came out of it and jumped back in my body....I know this because my body jumped up a bit....so i am wondering why wouldn't my body ascend all the way??? just it waiting for the command words again?? I tried everything possible to make it float all the way up and it just wouldn't go up any further....this was the 1st time I ever experienced this and words truly cannot express how it felt but something was over my bed with me and I WAS NOT ASLEEP...that I am 100% certain of....

I'm too shaken up to talk about it right now....can anyone help me with some answers please.

I was outside my house on my driveway. My brother and I were popping J's (Shooting hoops). My dog ran outside and my sister followed to try to get her back in the house. I remember it being somewhat dark outside. Anyway, FedEx began to come down the road. While they were dropping off our mail (Weird), my dog ran inside the driver's seat as they took off. My parents immediately ran outside. My mom said that they would be taking the dog to the shelter across the street, so everyone got in the car and drove off. For some reason, my electric scooter was replaced with a street legal gas scooter. I drove down my street and took a left to the main road. I stopped at the road crossing and looked across the street. It said I could go to I hit the gas. The weird thing was the white lines that you cross the street on were crooked. It started big and straight, but as it turned left it got smaller. Same with the other side off the road too. Anyway, when I was in the marketplace, it was really rundown. They looked like the stores you would see in Mexico, one story with metal roofing and lights on them. By now it began to rain. So I drove straight and took at right, then I found the shelter. I went inside and found my parents in a line waiting to claim our dog. I smiled and waved goodbye, then drove out the door. When I came out the door, I wasn't in the marketplace, I came out off the house opposite to my house. I then woke up.

[b]1.[/b] Was trying to fly somewhere, as that's the fastest mode of transportation. However, have no knowledge of flying planes. I manage to fly fast enough along a highway, and practice lifting off the ground a few inches and landing back on it. Eventually, I do manage to fly very high and feel enormous speed and wind-tug.

Cannot remember what I'm trying to achieve in the dream. I do remember calling for assistance on radio and immediately realizing I was passing my desired destination, which is a home for sale. I quickly stop in overgrowth off the side of a freeway, planning to walk to the home. Hitchcock feel to all of it; watched film the night before.