All DJ Entries

#265 - WILD - 5:10AM

I have trouble getting back to sleep after my WBTB but this works well for WILD.

Some HI forms into me lucidly organizing random stuff on a table. I was lucid but really into making everything look right. After a moment full lucidity kicks in and I realize the dream is ready for me. This is it. I remember my goal to eat a magic mushroom so I stand up and start to walk out, but the dream doesn't feel stable enough and I can tell from experience that any scene change will kill the dream. I turn and pace the living room for a while. I realize that I don't have to be outside to find a mushroom growing. Anything can happen in my dream. I look down at the floor but only see my bare feet and notice that is the first time if ever seen them in a dream. They seems to be moving really fast and blurry.

The dream begins to fade so I sit back down at the kitchen table and examine more objects. One looks like a tall blue pump spray bottle. Everything is really blurry and I can't make out any other detail. I notice my mom next to me. She seems to be sweeping the floor. With out looking at her I say, "Mom." No answer. "Mom. MOM." Now I am yelling.
"What?" She says.
I ask, "Have you seen my mushroom top?"
Before she answers I have a FA.

I open my eyes and it all feels real. I don't care to DJ just yet and I want to DEILD back in but something strange happens. The lights in the bedroom begin to flicker on and off. I feel afraid and dare not move. The blanket is partially over my face and I can't see who is at the light switch. I yell my wife's name but there's no answer. I try to get up but I feel paralyzed. Now I understand. I say, "This is just SP. It's not even real." Knowing this frees me to move.

When I stand up, it's totally dark. I turn to the light switch but see a shadow cast on the wall in front of me. It looks monstrous and reminds me of the movie, "A Monster In Paris", that we watched yesterday. I am not afraid of it up I want to stabilize the dream. I turn to fight it up the rooms goes dark again. I blindly attack and feel like I am hitting something. I hear an external noise that wakes me up.

1.

Fragments:
Something about Mythbusters with Adam

another of my friends was being tied up naked in a room with a guy in all black with a mask with only a hole for eyes and mouth and nose who was going to rape them. i remember the black leather tight on their skin, constricting the bare flesh. vivid. i couldnt stop it from happening. wasn't very emotional but hyper realistic visual details.

also was semi lucid trying to break through. was flying and knew that it was lucid but kind of didnt cognize it fully

so many other dreams failed to write...too many details to write

Morning of January 12, 2014. Sunday.

Actual image that came up first in accidental image search after this dream (had never seen it before):



I am in a fairly correct dream rendering of the small hallway near the back door and near the bathroom of where we live. It seems to be in early afternoon. Looking out after opening the back door, near the garage, I see what I believe to be a larger bobcat. There is no sense of immediate danger, but I am still a bit wary and inform members of my family. I close the door for a short time, with a vague thought of claws coming from under the door and almost reaching my legs (likely based on a real-life event as a teen where a pet hybrid bobcat violently attacked my leg due to having a scent of another animal on me - I actually stayed in the bathroom with the door closed until my parents got home).

I look out again later, and the bobcat is still sitting there. However, I am distracted by a dark-haired girl walking through the gate, which seems to have been left open. She has no arms (likely a representation of Venus or Aphrodite, relating to the armless statue). I then see that the “bobcat” was only a young domestic grayish tabby cat. This cat seems to belong to her but got away from her recently. She smiles and uses telekinesis to lift the cat into the air and onto her shoulder before leaving our backyard through the side gate of the west fence.

After this, I get a secondary dream (in a different environment but seemingly still in our house somewhere on one level) of a man that seems to represent modern mainstream society - the average person or “normal” human - which I usually go out of my way to avoid. He is a dark-haired man with a mustache and seems to be preparing to do “work” for other people regarding some sort of fraudulent self-help movement mixed in with misconstrued and supposed but fabricated aspects of Eastern religions (much as I have seen a lot of in real life especially since around 1991). I get a very brief but clear audio of what he is thinking, which is “I’m going to sit on a rug and pretend to know things!" It seems sort of comedic but also sad. I also get a vague impression that he is one of the "forty thieves” from “Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves” and resembles the man in the photo I saw after the dream.

This reminds me of a brief scene from a variation of the recent “wayward equations” trend. I am on a flying carpet high in the air with Ian McKellen (much as he appeared in “The Keep” but somehow only around twenty here) and the otherwise beautiful blue sky (with a few white clouds here and there) becomes “dulled down” with somewhat complex but boring art. It is mostly of irritating concentric squares of various boring pale colors (of pale pinks, yellows, and light greens) set out before us. We are both standing with our hands folded in front of us at near belly button level. “Is this Heaven?” I say absentmindedly. “I hope not,” says Ian, “I saw enough of this infuriating pastel Hippie art in Nimbin…”

This first dream was partially linked to the usual day to day (often highly detailed or very unlikely otherwise) visual precognition that has seemed continuously at work since earliest memory (which many other people do not seem to have at all or at least do not talk about - or even believe in - something that has always astounded me and has strongly formed an impression of most of human society being “wrong” - unfortunately I could not help holding this persistent view from a very young age). After getting ready to post this, I accidentally (yes - accidentally) used Google image search instead of the web search solely to check the spelling of “telekinesis”.

The very first image that came up showed a male (though in the dream it was a female) lifting a cat (identical to the one from the dream) with (supposed, but fake and comical) telekinesis near shoulder-level. Nothing new, but often the matching is closer in detail. There have been times when I was able to do this consciously (in meditation) - still holding the theory it has something to do with higher “hidden” levels of fractal continuity that the subconscious somehow calculates and not necessarily paranormal.

As I have said before, this happens with the majority of dreams (depending on the type), but I usually do not include the details, as I feel it subtracts from the more personal nature of the dream itself - and just documenting the dream itself in some cases (with only minor commentary in certain cases) makes the great mystery a little more interesting and “unanswered” for the casual reader - although realistically, I still need to eventually document more personal information and symbolic associations, I suppose. Still, if you looked at an abstract painting, would you want to know exactly why each and every line met and what it represented or just enjoy the painting?

Dream of: 07 January 2014 "Guilt Trip"



honesty is its own reward

I'm in a big dirt-floored arena in what appears to be an amusement park. Hanging from the ceiling are long ropes which people can grab and swing on. High ledges (around five meters off the ground) around the perimeter of the arena can be reached by swinging up to them with a rope. I grab one of the ropes, start swinging around, and soon become quite adept. I swing up to one ledge and sit here for a while. Just as I'm ready to swing off the ledge, I notice that a dark-blue billfold is lying on the ledge. I furtively pick up the billfold, uncertain whether anyone standing down below in the arena sees me. I quickly glance inside the billfold and see that it is filled with bills. I see some tens and twenties, then a couple hundreds, and finally a thousand dollar bill. It looks as if there are even more big bills, although I don't look any further.I quickly stick the billfold in my back left pocket.

While I've been concentrated on the billfold, I've let my rope drop to the ground about five meters below the ledge. I'll either have to have someone throw the rope back up to me or hang-drop to the ground. I decide to hang-drop. I grab hold of the ledge with my hands and drop to the ground.

As soon as I'm on the ground, a thin healthy-looking grey-haired man (perhaps 60 years old) walks up to me and says,"Steve."

Uncertain how this man knows my name, I hear him moan, "I lost my billfold."

Feigning ignorance, I respond, "Oh no!"

He says that everything he had was in the billfold. I wonder if he's telling the truth and I wonder why he was so stupid to carry so much money in the billfold.I ask him if he knows where he lost it. He says no, but he says that he was looking through his billfold when he was up on one of the ledges - implying that he might have left the billfold up there. I suggest that he go back up to the ledge. I have the feeling that he suspects me and I want to get away from him. Then I ask him if he gave the people at the counter his name and information about how to contact him if anyone were to find the billfold. He answers, "No."

When he turns to walk over to the counter, I quickly slip out of the arena and mix in with the huge amusement-park crowd of hundreds of people outside the arena. I remember that I came here with some other people and now I don't know how I will be able to find them in this crowd. I might have to wait until the amusement park is closing and only a few people are left.

I want to look through the billfold to see exactly how much is in it.I start looking for a restroom where I can look through the billfold in private. I'm already feeling guilty for not returning the billfold to the man, but I think I at least deserve a reward for finding the billfold and if I had simply given the billfold back to the man, I probably wouldn't have received anything. I'm thinking I might just take the thousand dollar bill and give back the rest. Or I might just take all the money. I know that I will return the actual billfold and all the other identification and credit cards. I recall how I once lost a billfold and no one returned it. I had always thought that if I found a billfold, I would at least return the identification and anything else which I couldn't use.

I could understand why someone might keep the money, but not everything else.Certainly someone who found a billfold like this wouldn't be able to use the credit cards at an ATM machine because of the cameras. I reflect, however, that someone could put on a mask and use a credit card. If I were to wear a mask at an ATM machine, I would have to be careful about fingerprints since I figure that I'm already a suspect. I doubt, however, that my fingerprints could be traced.

Still, I mostly feel bad now about keeping the billfold. It would have been so simple to have simply given the billfold back to the man when he first approached me. Now I'm on a guilt trip. I don't even know how to contact the man. I could go back to the arena and check to see what telephone number he left there. Or I could simply use the identification inside the billfold to track down the man. I dread returning the billfold to the man face to face because then he will know that I had the billfold when he first approached me and that I was dishonest about not having the billfold.

When I think back on the man when he approached me, I seem to recall that he was smoking a cigarette - all the more reason why I should keep the money because he would just waste it on cigarettes. But then I realize that no one was allowed to smoke inside the arena, so I must be mistaken about that rationalization.

Finally I see a men's restroom which has the word "Soldiers" written in bold letters on the door. I think the restroom must be maintained by the military. As I head for the door, I wonder what word is used for the women's restroom if "soldiers" is used for the men's. I plan to find a stall inside and look through the billfold. I hope the old man hasn't followed me and tries to look over the wall of the stall, but I don't think he's following.

Dream Commentary

Publishing dreams on the internet is a bit like performing before an audience on a high trapeze. I think that the height that one can reach and the complexity of the performance is to some degree a function of honesty. Indeed, truthful dream-publishing is to a large extent a spectacle of the power of honesty.
I can only marvel at the thought of two trapeze artists holding each others hands as they fly through the air.

Dream Journal Home Page

Dream of: 04 January 2014 "Carniwhore"



use the power of words against evil

As I'm reading an article, I come across a word which is spelled "carni**ore". I can't figure out what this asterisked word means at first, then I finally realize that the dissembled word is "carniwhore". I conclude that someone has been disparaging carnivores by calling them "carniwhores". I like the concept and I think that in the future when I'm using the word "carnivore", I'll say "carniwhore" instead, as a way of expressing my contempt for carnivores.


Dream Journal Home Page

Attached Thumbnails

 

12/19/13

Ratchet and Clank: Assassin's Creed Version
I am in a strange place. I look around, but I don't recognize anything about it. It looks like a different planet. There are green plants, a flowing stream, and blue skies, but the plants look foreign to me. If it were just the plants then I might just be in a kind of forest I have never seen, but there are two moons hanging in the sky, and that confirms that I am definitely on a different planet. I have no idea why I might be here so I start wandering around. I walk over to the stream and look into the water. The water is so clear that I can see the bottom. It looks clearer than any stream I have seen in my waking life. I walk away from the stream and continue exploring. There are some animals that scurry out of my path before I get a good look at them. Without really thinking about it I call out to them that I won't hurt them, come back so I can see them. Of course they don't respond. I follow a path that runs alongside the stream as it goes through a canyon and into another clear area where there is a lake. I walk over beside the lake and sit down. Maybe Avalon is telling me I need to go somewhere restful and relax for a while. This place certainly looks like it fits the bill. I look into the water where I see some golden fish with long flowing fins swimming around. It is definitely very relaxing.

I hear a sound behind me but I don't pay any attention. I am too relaxed and the sound is pretty innocuous, so I am not alarmed. Then I get hit with a blast of unstable dark energy. The blast knocks me sprawling on my face. What the fuck? The effect of the unstable dark energy is that I am immediately pissed off. I jump to my feet and turn towards the source of the attack, ready to let loose an attack of my own against what I am assuming is a Templar. But there is no Templar… instead there is a rather short furry guy there. (Ratchet from Ratchet and Clank, but I don't recognize him.) He has large pointed ears and some cat-like features, and a long tail ending in a tuft like a lion. He is standing on 2 feet like a person and has a big gun in his hands that is pointed at me. He looks pissed off. My first response is to ask, "Who the fuck are…" but he fires another blast from the gun, also dark energy. Ok… now I think slicing him into pieces is definitely in order… but something inside me tells me that is just the unstable energy talking, he is probably attacking me due to being infected with the dark energy he is using. So I look away from him, reciting some Disturbed lyrics to stabilize my energy. "I've held on too long just to let it go now. Will my inner strength get me through this somehow? Defying a curse that has taken hold, never surrender, I'll never be overcome." I feel the dark energy stabilize and join my own supply of dark energy. The furry guy asks what I have done with some 'him' that I have no idea what he is talking about.

I send a tendril (Witchblade? Viral powers?) out to snag the gun away from him. That is unexpected and I get the gun easily. I look back over at the furry guy who now looks like he expects me to turn around and shoot him with the gun. No… he has enough dark energy already. Instead I start poking around the weapon to find the dark shard that must power it. The furry guy is making fun of me for not knowing how to use my own weapon. I tell him this thing isn't mine… I am not paying attention to him, and he pulls out a smaller gun and shoots the one I took from him. It explodes in my hands. I comment that I guess that's one way to get into it… My white Assassin's robes are now black from the blast. I turn them back white. The furry guy doesn't seem to know what to do now, so he resumes demanding to know where someone named Clank is. I find the dark shard in the wreckage of the weapon. It is a genuine dark shard, and it looks like someone deliberately made it unstable. Whoever gave this guy this weapon definitely doesn't care who he exposes to the dark energy, though he may or may not have been specifically targeting this furry guy.

I turn my attention back to the furry guy and ask him where he got the weapon and the shard. I use my Eagle Vision to scan him for dark energy. He has only a minimal amount of it in him. He should be ok. He says the same person that told him what I did to Clank… now where is he? I ask him if the person who gave him the gun bothered telling him that the energy it uses is very dangerous and will corrupt and destroy anyone and anything it comes in contact with, including the person wielding it? He seems to hesitate a bit at that as if maybe questioning the person who had given him the gun. While he is pausing, I add that I have no idea who this Clank person is. Maybe I shouldn't have said that because it seems to get him upset again. He said my friend has already given me away. I ask what friend? Did the coward even give a name before sending someone else off to do his dirty work? The furry guy pauses again, then says the person's name is Robert. I do a double take, then ask if he means Robert de Sable? He says I do know who he's talking about. He says Robert told him I have Clank, and he wants him back now! I can't help but laugh… which isn't good, it just pisses the furry guy off more… I force myself to stop and then say Robert de Sable is a Templar. And there's an easy way to tell when a Templar is lying… their lips are moving! Of course he doesn't know what a Templar is. I add that Robert himself is probably the one who kidnapped Clank!

Now that the puzzle seems solved to me, I call out to Robert de Sable. I am sure he must be in the area to see if his plan has worked. "He, Robert! Come out and show yourself, you chicken-wuss! And bring back Clank with you!" I get no response. The furry guy is looking around to see if anyone answers. I loudly call Robert a chicken-wuss a few more times. No response. I tell the furry guy that I absolutely did not do anything with his friend Clank… and if the Templar bastards did, I will make sure and get him back. I return to addressing Robert, "Hey, Robert, you chicken-wuss! Come out and play! Or don't you have the balls to face me?!" I tell the furry guy that is a common aspect of Templars… the lack of balls in the males. I say it loudly enough for Robert to hear if he is listening. I comment to the furry guy that when Robert first met my friend Altaïr, he shit his pants. The furry guy says he doesn't care about Robert and Altaïr, he just wants Clank back! I tell him Clank could show up at any time… Robert is probably scared of him. I say this hoping Clank is a little guy that couldn't hurt a fly so I will be implying Robert is a mega-chicken-wuss. I tell the furry guy that I'm surprised Robert had the balls to approach him! I've seen Robert running in terror from a kitten…

Finally it seems Robert has had enough. He comes from behind a strange tree and looks pissed. He says us Assassins are the ones that sneak around in the dark. I tell him at least there has never been an Assassin so afraid to do his own mission that he tricks a… um… I point at the furry guy, who seems surprised I've never seen a lombax before. I tell him I am from very, very far away. I continue taunting Robert, no Assassin is so afraid to do his own mission that he tricks some lombax into doing his dirty work while he hides in fear! I ask him if he really thought that dark energy gun would kill me. He is mad now, and he blurts out a lot. He says the gun wasn't supposed to kill me! He says I was supposed to blast that damn lombax into subatomic particles and feed my negative energy to grow to astronomical proportions… He says I have already said I wanted to do it, so why didn't I do it?! I tell Robert to lay off the drugs… I don't even know this lombax… however I'd be glad to blast Robert into subatomic particles… bit by bit until he produces Clank. Of course now the lombax is pissed off at Robert instead of me. Robert is ignoring him. Robert seems shocked that I say I don't know the lombax. He is having a child's tantrum. He says I was the one who was planning out a hundred and one ways to kill Ratchet the Lombax! Ratchet… Clank… I curse myself silently for not realizing the source game sooner, but then it's not even a game I have played!

I am trying to figure out the easiest way to find out what Robert knows about the location of Clank. Probably to just consume him. Take care of two problems. Find Clank, and no more Robert de Sable. Now to keep him distracted while I get a bit closer… I see the lombax… Ratchet… is now looking at me strangely, probably in response to Robert's claiming I was coming up with a hundred and one ways to kill him. I remember having negative energy last night, and that will often focus itself in seemingly random directions, but I have no interest attacking Ratchet now. I focus my attention back on Robert… slowly closing the distance between us. I have to manage to consume him before he can disappear like he has a habit of doing. I act like I pity Robert. I say he should know my negativity from waking life doesn't affect me in the dream state… you silly Templar. Now stop screwing things up in dimensions where he doesn't belong… which would be all of them! I see movement, Ratchet has disappeared from sight. That surprises me that he would leave without knowing if Robert has Clank. I decide it doesn't matter, I have ways of finding him if I recover Clank. Back to Robert. Move closer.

I get closer still. Robert says I might as well give up, all the Assassins should give up, there is no way the Assassins can… GAAH! Robert is on fire! His cape and robes flare up as if he was soaked in gasoline. What the… then I see Ratchet behind him pointing a gun of some kind at Robert. Robert turns around to see what just happened, blazing with fire, but no doubt being protected from serious harm by his dark energy. He is now raging at Ratchet, saying there won't be so much as a scrap of fur left… now! He's distracted! I rush at Robert and extend viral tendrils to wrap around and consume him. He turns and glares at me, calling me a fool and saying there's nothing I can do to hurt him! But I am already consuming him! It's working! But then there is an explosion of dark energy that sends me flying backwards to slam hard into a cliff. I hear him raging at me now. He says I need to keep my fucking freak tendrils to myself. I get up from the ground where I fell after hitting the cliff. I hear him laugh. He tells Ratchet that it is my fault that his friend is now scrap metal. He vanishes in a blast of black smoke.

Ratchet runs out to where Robert was just standing, yelling at him to bring Clank back and more than a few expletives that would increase the age rating of the Ratchet and Clank games if it was included. "Come back here, you flakey jerk!" I yell after Robert. Damn! Gone again! Ratchet is yelling at me now, wanting to know where Robert went, saying he has to get Clank back before it's too late! Find Robert. I use Through the Never focused on locating Robert and Clank. My portal is being pulled in two different directions and doesn't form. So Robert doesn't have Clank… at least not right now. Ratchet seems to be very worried about Clank, so I focus the portal on him. A portal opens. I see through the portal to where there is a strange looking robot that looks like it was built by idiots… maybe by Templars. I also see Clank there, though he appears to be shut down. The robot looks surprised to see my portal open. He looks through and sees me and asks who the fuck I am. I tell him that is not important… the important thing is that he hand over that little robot behind him. He says it's not going to happen. I get pissed off at this guy quickly. "Listen here, you clinking clanking clattering collection of caliginous junk! I am not in the mood to be fucked with! Now step aside or be recycled!" I send tendrils through the portal to wrap around Clank. I am pulling Clank through the portal when the other robot tries to grab him. Another tendril delivers an electrical shock directly to the robot making him let go. I pull Clank through the portal. I tell the robot on the other side to tell Robert de Sable that he'll have to do much better than this to get the Assassins to give up… and STOP FUCKING UP OTHER DIMENSIONS! He looks at me strangely and I hear him say, "Robert de WHO?" before the portal closes. I briefly hope I'm not the one fucking up the dimension by interfering where I don't belong…

Oh, well… it's too late to do anything about it now. Ratchet doesn't help my questioning the effect I have had on this dimension when he says someone named Dr. Nefarious was sure pissed. "Doctor WHO? Is he a Templar?" Ratchet looks at me strangely. I look at the lifeless Clank. I access my Penticon chip and tell it to do a diagnostic scan. The Penticon responds that this is a simple system re-start, but he can recommend a few upgrades. I tell him Robert's and my presence in this dimension has interfered with things enough already without him leaving a super-computer version of Clank behind. Just fix him. There is some grumbling from the Penticon. Ratchet asks if Clank is ok. I tell him Clank will be fine, as soon as he wakes up. A short time passes and then Clank wakes up with some strange noises and beeps. I tell Ratchet that his friend should be fine now. I know I am about to wake up. I wonder what Robert thought to accomplish with this little mess he tried to make… I am not sure, all I know is where there are Templars there will be trouble close behind. I wake up.

Date: 10 Jan

Pre bed: turmeric

Sleep was rather bad, like I was lacking some sleep chemicals, recall from non-lds pre bed - close to zero.

Wbtb: felt sleepy, had 1/3 latte

DILD+DEILDs: In a room and there's this kid from my childhood and he is somewhat grown up now. I am thinking about that. He's naked from the torso up and is sweating while vacuum cleaning. I am sitting behind a desk, contemplating and the thought that I was supposed to be lding comes to mind.

I begin to examine the surroundings and wonder if this could be a dream. Yet my thoughts are so orderly and organized at this moment and everything feels more like real life than dream (no usual dreamy feeling).

I keep thinking in what feels like a daylife manner, reflecting on lack of dream feeling. I know that in such a case I have to perform a RC, but I don't see any sense (like it's possibly going to fail). Something in me tries to convince me and kind of distantly makes me feel that right now my body is in horizontal position and asleep. I conclude that it is a dream and remember my goals. There is a black girl with ponytail and I reverse the inital plan (make an old man younger for the opposites task) and decide that I will make a potion to make her age instead. I feel conscientious about doing this to a little girl and how evil it looks, but really want to see the results.

There are a number of small items like two small cups, nail-size gemstones and something else I can't recall. While the dream is generally very stable, it begins to thin out at this point and I am left feeling concentration wise powerless and slowly find myself back in my body. Not ready to let go I remain still and short afterwards the I am back in the same dream.

It comes slightly as a surprise that I succeeded to resume from the same place, but welcome it and continue mixing my potion that looks like a shot of cough syrup. If I am not mistaken by the time I'm done mixing the dream thins out again and I am shortly back in my body.

The dream resumes again. This time I wait a bit before undertaking any task related action, thinking it may be proper to stabilize at this point so I unconvincingly rub my hands and run my fingers through a nearby towel, feeling it's texture. At this point the little girl and my childhood friend are nowhere in sight. I move away from where I was standing and look around, the entire room looks extremely realistic and detailed, filled to the brim with objects. It's like I am really in someone's room or a life memory. There are way too many objects for me to memorize so I don't try to, just remember a number of toy boxes with something written on the them in red, and a very prominent display of video games. There are two black gaming machines like from the late 80s.

The DC of my bf comes from somewhere as I am examining the room. Suddenly, I feel coldness on my feet and look below to see that I am barefoot and feel the cold coming from the green tiles on the floor. This is simply amazing and this whole dream feels incredibly life like detailed and stable (not so much vivid as detailed). I analyze this and share it with my bf who agrees with me. At this point I briefly wonder whether I might have run accross a smart DC and should ask some questions, but then remember my other tasks.

This time it feels appropriate to summon a DC and work from there. I decide I want to call Mrs. and think about her. The part of the apartment where I am looking, mentally calling for her is a bit dark and I briefly worry a scary DC might appear instead, but in a second, a DC that closely resembles her comes in. She has some sort of hat/bandage on the head. I get closer and begin to examine her face, she has lots of wrinkles on her forehead, around the mouth and saggy cheeks. I place my palms above her face to cover the places I want to change and then move my hands away. Initially, her face remains the same, but after a few more procedures the wrinkles visibly diminish. She doesn't look as young as I wanted but at least her skin is in much better condition, as if she just had a facelift.

Somewhere around this moment, the dream fades again. I know the drill and continue as usual, in the meantime become worried about my memories after each blackout/deild. I mentally count the number of blackouts to be sure, 3.

Back in the same room. I feel that I have spent too much time with this task, while there were other main tasks I had in mind. Time to go out and look for a palace. I head for the window and look down. Nooo! The whole dream continues to be worryingly detailed and realistic and it doesn't feel like a good idea to jump out of the window. I gather courage and hang on to nearby windows and water pipes to go down.

On the street I look around for a suitable building but become overwhelmed. In every direction I look are closely packed residential buildings. Finally, one of the streets seems somewhat less cluttered with a larger building at the distance that leads me to believe there's enough room for a palace round the corner. As I head in that direction, I have to wait for a large industrial truck part that's slowly coming out of a garage to make a turn and continue in, of course, the same direction as me. I manage to squeeze between the building wall and the large truck part and reach the end of the street.

Unfortunately, this turns to end of town cars-only road with lots of concrete and weirdly shaped boulders, cars passing by in close proximity. I think that I don't want to change the dream too aggressively as not to compromise the coherence. But maybe not everything is lost, I just have to find a way to cross over and go to what seems like a more appealing part of town. The dream fades.

In this dream I visited the title website. It was very informative on batteries(it had all the research on batteries that I had done for the science fair.). I could read the webpage easily.

Date: 08 Jan

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, around 34 mg caffeine

I'm quite sleepy and resist waking myself too much, but still try to stay as awake as possible while in bed, repeating mantras and goals. I fall asleep with some long deep REM rebound.

DILD: It's a very long dream where me and parents get ready for a trip. Then I meet a DC that feels like a kindred sprit, I am eager to discuss with him possible solutions to a problem we both have.

A few moments later, I realize that this is a dream and remember my goals, freeze water and go fishing. The guy disappears somewhere. I am walking in what looks like a park and as I think about the task, I see that there are large puddles of water all around. Initially, I try to use them for the task even though they are too shallow and begin freezing them by willing it as well as by placing my hands down over one of them, where while they freeze, they emanate coldness and there's a cool mist effect lifting from the puddles! But then I realize this isn't going to work for the task and walk a bit further where there's a much larger and deeper body of water, like a pond.

I will the water to turn to ice, but to my surprise nothing happens. This annoys me. I contemplate whether to just get on the water as if it is frozen, but am uncertain if it will work, if I continue to expect to sink if I step on it. In the meantime, the water finally freezes. When I look at the surface, I see that part of it begins to melt already and dig with my hands in the softened ice to make a hole. This happens quite easily with no discomfort from the cold. There's some coldness, but it's ok, since I didn't think about it too much. I put my hands through the hole, reaching as far as I can and expecting to run across a catch.

I wait for a while but there's nothing around them and it gets kind of creepy what might be lurking in the darkness below the ice. In the area that's partially covered with ice, I can now see a number of small fish swimming around and succeed in catching one. It is a small tropical butterfly type fish but silver and red. As I hold it, my bf appears next to me and I tell him to take a picture, which I so much wish I could bring to rl, but before he can take the pic, the fish escapes.

I become so happy that have completed the task, I lose lucidity and begin to tell the dream to myself. After a while, I realize the dream is still going. Now I'm on the street in some neighborhood, there is an unconscious movement from my part and I end up floating in mid air, slightly above the ground, very stable though. I correctly recall this feeling from many dreams I had and exclaim to myself that taking off isn't as difficult as I have thought (previously irl). This is a good opportunity to practice a bit of flying and I do some flight manipulation, where I try to think of the direction and my body flies well in that direction. Then I try to take a turn and go in the opposite direction, but it doesn't quite work.

More rather random movements mid air and then I fly high up near a tall residence building, where I climb the last three stories using my hands. I somehow take a step back (see the building from a distance, although I am at the level of the third to last story). A black dotted panther on the balcony catches my attention. It looks kind of small, but actually it is the right size compared to the balcony and the stuff around it. The whole building seems small as if I am looking at it from a distance, yet I am very close to it. I briefly pay attention to that, but then wonder no more. There is a dalmatian in the apartment with the panther and I just so love exploring people's places, like in many non-lds. On the balcony below is a centipede, a very long one, apparently the same size as the panther (fits the balcony lenght). It doesn't look very appealing and I see two more on different balconies, I become vaguely aware that I am causing the one-many effect.

At some point I discarded the idea of going for Toty, because I thought the dream might end, but since it's still going, I decide to give it a try. Somehow, I go down to the ground and begin exploring a dream version of a familiar street. The bus station is here, only residential buildings, some larger buildings appear, but nothing that looks like a palace. I head towards the larger buildings that seem suitable and try to think that one of them is a palace. It starts to change, more and more detail is added and it becomes a flashy top notch casino. I still believe I could change it to a palace by trying to add a few columns at the entrance, but just increase the level of detail/casino quality.

I move on to the next building's entrance, which I recognize as some sort of amusement area. There's a distant dream memory also at work. Since I don't feel I'll get anywhere further with the palace, I eagerly get in, looking forward to having some fun. At this point I remember a dream where I took a super cool ride at a place that looked like this and become very excited. The lobby of the place where they sell the tickets is visitor empty, there's just the guy that sells the tickets, a girl that will ride with me and a male DC. The tall male DC next to my right is accompanying me to the cashier and I get a number of false memories and begin to have romance thoughts about him.

The DC at the desk gives me weird instructions of how to properly hold to the cart and my behavior while next to the girl that's also taking the ride. She is new, so I have to be careful. Bla bla, my lucidity level is dropping. I go to the girl and we wait to be let in to the ride but the dream finally fades and I wake up.

Dream fragment: I'm laying in my bed, I'm messing with my teeth with my tongue. I feel one of my back teeth wiggle and it makes a click noise. I panic and run to the bathroom and look in the mirror. I put my hand in my mouth and tug at the tooth very gently, but it falls out, I take it out and look at it, it's completely translucent, but i see tan things in there. I panic and think that my retainers won't work anymore and my teeth will begin to migrate, but then when i tongue the spot it fell out from I feel a brand new tooth like a polished little mountain poking out and I feel relieved and that this is even better because the other one was see through and this one is bright white.

Friday: A mountain "full of fog, 'wolves' and 'sheep'", where a woman who'll wind up becoming a historical figure is setting out to show the other side that some of their 'wolves' have deserted and are now helping her guard the 'sheep.'

Today: A guy in space, traveling toward Earth along with many, many other ships in some kind of race, the ship he's in seems made up of many different old parts, pieces are falling off along the way but he seems to have expected that. He's full of rage. There was something to do with lots being drawn, and his younger sister had been one of the winners, which would have meant she was safe and wouldn't have to take her chances in the race with the rest of them, but her parents (from whom he's estranged) had convinced her to give up her slot, that she must live or die and "become ashes" with them, so that they wouldn't be separated in the next life and lose her forever. She told him about this as he was looking over her ship for her, and he found something wrong with it, something that had been sabotaged, that would prevent him from communicating with her after the journey even if they both survived. He fixes it, and is furious.

Still the same storyline - there's a woman somewhere "left behind", the place all the people in the race and the lottery were abandoning. She wakes up with a gun next to her - not hers - and sees someone who says something to her. She, outraged by what he said, says "I don't look like a nice person to you?", and shoots him. Her logic being that if he couldn't recognize a good person when he saw one, he must be a bad person. As she shoots him, her face changes in some subtle way, something to do with her teeth, and I'm aware that in this place, now, people physically change to reflect their actions, and this is part of what the others were escaping from.

A conversation between a man and a woman in a bedroom as she's tying sheets together into a ladder, preparing to escape:
He: "I thought you might have missed it."
She: "Missed what?"
He: "The window."
She: "I can't miss the window. You're my destiny - war."

After an incident with a robot - it appeared human and was programmed to act as a caregiver to a group of four kids, something had gone wrong with it and put the kids in danger. Now someone's complaining to someone else about it - one's in law enforcement, the other's in politics, not sure which one is which. The one listening to the complaint responds, "I believe I oversaw the (something). And (something) to call in some backup." But when she says 'backup', she's not talking about something official. I see an image of two guys, not in any kind of uniform, one's scrawny and one's a little overweight, they have some connection to photography, possibly the press - they're the 'backup' she was referring to.