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Journal Entry Lucid #7 Dream,Lucid, Comments)
Background: I talked to my parents and asked them if they want me to be happy. They did and I asked them to say they want me to have a LD, they did. So, I had a short LD this night. I guess I value my parents word alot. When my father dreams are pointless my dream recall disappeared and my consecutive LD disappeared. I

Dream fragment 1 from 8:20pm-2:30am"": I was talking to a person about LD, we were waiting in line of a 7/11 or a store like that. Well as I was talking to him a realization came into my head, "I am dreaming". I looked at them and I said,"excuse me but I am dreaming". They didn't react at all. As I was about to walk out, I looked at the line and it was huge. I opened the door and lifted off, "i had a thought of doubt for a split second, but I remembered that I have flew many times in a LD. I went forward the sun is in front of me and so was this huge guy. He was just floating in air. I bumped into him, and he fell. I was going to fly away, but I didn't want to leave him like I left my sister so I went down to help him. He got up and said thank you. Like a loop I found myself inside of the store talking to them. The realization hit me again. I was about to start flying but I got distracted and lost lucidity.

BACKGROUND INFO:
Monstromology - Study of Monsters
I've been reading a series about it, and so I guess it played its way into my dream.

Oh, and I tend to write out my dreams as if they were stories, so sorry about that. :$
~*~
It's Spirit Week in my high school, a Tuesday, and to kick it off our school is having an exhibit on Monstromology. It looked huge, and from what I could see of it there looked to be eery green lights coming from the inside of it. As soon as school ended, I grabbed my backpack and headed over to go check it out.

It was then that I ran into two problems:
A. I had no money, from what I heard it cost $5.00 to get in.
B. Because it was Tuesday, I was getting picked up early from school, at 4:00 pm, where as usually I end up waiting until 4:15 or so.

Thing was, this was the only day it was going to be open, and I reaaaalllyy wanted to see it. So, naturally, I used what little time I had to try to find a way in.
I didn't have to wait long, for almost immediately I spotted my friend Jacob waiting around about to leave.

"Jacob, Jacob!" I cried his name as I hurried over and grabbed him by the arm.
"What?"
"I really want to go the Monstromology exhibit!"
"Okay..."
"And it's five dollars."
"Okay.."
"And I don't have any money so I kinda need you to pay for me..."
"Actually, it's $2.50..." He shifted uncomfortably.
"So that means you'll pay?!" I smiled excitedly."
"Well...okay.."
"Yay!" I jumped up excitedly as I watched him hand over the money and we walked into the cafeteria.

Right as we entered, I checked my phone and saw it was 3:52; 7 minutes. I looked around and decided we had to hurry through it. I signaled for him to follow, and we quickly walked in.

It was unlike anything I had seen before. The walls of the cafeteria had been transformed to hang cages attached to it. These housed all kinds of creatures and monstrosities that I didn't even know had existed. Tables were set up that contained specimen that looked like they could be severely disformed amphibians. My first few thoughts were that this was very gross, and as we kept walking farther and farther through it I began to flinch when I saw some strange bugs or something that didn't particularly appeal to me. After we had nearly completed the exhibit, I suddenly remembered where I was to be.

"Um, I kinda gotta go!" I glanced at Jacob before turning on my heel and running out towards the tennis courts where I was to be picked up.

This was a very weird, disturbing dream...

A girl, around, I dunno, 12, is in this weird, dark room. The walls are high and there's a glass up there. Impossible to see through it, but it's obvious there's someone on the other side watching her. There's a bed in the room. A guy, older than her, he's a man, walks in. A voice says she has to please him. She cries. He takes her hand and tells her he'll be gentle. It's all very sick.

Then, I'm me and I know I'm watching that. I know it's a film, so I stop watching. I wonder why I was watching that, and I remember people told me it was a good film. I remember it's called "The Myth". I decided to try it again, since the guy seemed nice enough to the girl.

Back to the weird room, the guy ties the girl down and tells her he's going to enjoy fucking her. She cries even more and I give up again. I don't want to watch that. I'm at a party and I run into the actress who was playing her. She looks much older now and she's having a drink. I walk to her and I'm like "I know you! What films have you done?" and she replies a weird name. I think it was something about a chicken. I go all "ooohhh, you were on that!? I don't remember you! Who did you play?" She says a name and I stand there, trying to remember her. Finally, I look at her "actually, I don't think I saw that film. Huh. Sorry." and I walk away. She looks amused and goes after me.

She tells me how refreshing it is to have someone NOT kissing her ass just because she's famous. We make out and it's super fun and suddenly she's talking about us moving in together and I'm actually interested in that. We plan where we want to live and she shows me her mother's car - which looks like a hi-tech RV. It was a super cool car, not gonna lie. She tells me she needs to go to the bathroom, so I go with her.

I enter the bathroom, we're still at the party, so there are a few stalls. It stinks and there are only three available. I flush the toilet of one stall and let her use it. She asks me if I don't want to use the bathroom too. I say that I do, but the others are all dirty. Then, she tells me that she needs me to go to the stall next to hers because she has a secret.

I'm back to the film and she's trying to let me know that the girls kept in the weird house are planning a rebellion. They've been raped for too long and now it's time for them to fight back.

I wake up.

I'm in a store that sells various forms of blades, among other things, and my attention's caught by an iron mask with a strangely curved dagger set into it, removable. (After I woke up I realized the dagger's shape was inspired by F/SN.) The mask's face seems very narrow, but I believe that the mask's features will fit themselves to the wearer. The eyes are particularly narrow and I don't see any holes to look out of. There's a long and narrow stylized beard that reminds me of ancient Egyptian art, which would cover the wearer's neck, and the mouth is designed to look as if it's been sewn shut. I like it.

I'm distracted by the sound of more people arriving outside. There's a brief confrontation but they dismiss me and the people I'm with as not threatening, which irritates me. There's some debate over whether this post-apocalyptic, breakdown-of-society situation we're in will last, or whether things will return to normal in a few days.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There are three astronauts who've said or done something that their bosses wouldn't approve of, and they've ceased broadcasting in a way that implies they're dead or soon will be. But when I talk to someone who wasn't watching their broadcast live, I find she's got a different impression of events, she believes everything's fine, and some reasonable-sounding excuse has been given for why the astronauts are no longer broadcasting. Their previous broadcast has been censored or changed.

I'm playing a piano, using sheet music for a jazz tune I'd never heard before. The sun's going down, and the light gradually darkens until I can't make out the sheet music in front of me.

#276 - WILD - 4:42AM

I was from several non lucid dreams feeling frustrated that I failed to WILD. Finally this time I have an actual WILD.

I feel wakeful and it takes a while to get relaxed. At first I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere but I get some strange idea to focus my attention to the top and right several inches away from my head. When I do that the vibrations start right away. (Maybe there is something to this energy thing?) I feel my self quickly float up to the ceiling but before I phase through a hand presses down on my chest pushing me back to bed. I know this is my wife's evil astral twin. I am not afraid, nor pissed. I just try to ignore her. I relax and float up again but she pulls me back down. This time I see her arm. It looks gray and brown with claws for finger nails. Still I have no fear or anger. I ignore her as best I can. This time I will myself up but as I touch the ceiling, I open my physical eyes (I think) and I see that I am lying in bed. I blink, close then, try again, but have the same result. One of the time on the ceiling, I want to roll over to see myself and her but can't move. I try to spin in bed to roll out but feel stuck.

I feel like astral wife is messing with me so I decide to handle it the same way as before. For whatever reason I can roll her direction and I throw myself on her. I project positive feeling as we make out and she responds in delightful ways. I decide that I don't want this to turn into a sex dream so I stop. I conclude that this dream has probably got stable enough and I visualize walking in the living room.

Suddenly we are there walking together holding hands. She pulls me close to kiss but I am anxious to get going. Plus, I am still a little leery of her. Not wanting to treat her badly, I try some nice way to get out of this. I say, "Hey, I have and idea. We should do it outside in the warm sunshine."
She seems excited and says, "Yeah! Let's go!"

I think about being outside and we teleport instantly to the front yard. I have no intentions of following through with this but I point to a spot in the neighbors front yard that is sunny. It seems like late summer and the grass is dry with some brown spots. As I am looking at the spot I have a false memory of having sex with the lady that used to live in this house. I tell myself this is not right and I wonder where this "memory" came from. I shake this disturbing though away and totally forget about Astral Wife.

I wonder into the back yard and come the back door of my house. I pause as I notice this house looks nothing like mine at all. I turn to the alley and see the front of a blue house that doesn't exist in waking life. Suddenly, I remember my goal to paint on a canvass. I think I should go in the house but feel like it would be a bad idea to try to change scenes again. I feel like I would just enter the void and now I have the thought, I probably would if I tried.

I decide to summon what I need on the spot. I notice there is an awning providing a nice shady spot where I am standing as I look around. I decide since I am setting up outside, I should paint what I see. I think the blue house would be fine. It looks like it's in a semi rural location. There is a bush in the front and clothes lines running along the side. I blind summon a canvass on an easel and set it in front of me. At that moment I wake up.

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


(...) I'm on the road with some guy. He is driving, we're talking. Then we see something orange scattered at even distances, over the line between adjacent lanes. But it's not plastic cones! It's monks in orange robes, meditating! My friend is puzzled and wondering what in the world that can be. I just become lucid with the absurdity and I realize what it is. They know it is safe, they are aware where we are, they chose to sit in the middle of a road because it tests their confidence in the knowing that nothing can harm them. I get it and could join them. But instead I just float around, enjoying the beauty of this awareness. I start touching everything, I touch some statues, the rough walls of buildings, the tree leaves, the hair of people passing by. Everything I touch is simply perfect and overloads my mind with joy.
After a while of this experience, I enter a not so bright zone. The night falls, there is an entrance to a non-lit park and a few homeless guys are sleeping on benches and on the ground, on both sides of the pathway. A couple of them looks at me like saying "hey babe, come here..." and I feel a chill and turn around in fear. Then I think what is the worse thing that can happen, considering it only happens whatever I allow to happen? If they rape me, I just wake up. So, I lose all fear and all I can feel is compassion. Instead of fearing a rape, I feel like offering myself to them as a gesture of my total surrender to the fearlessness. Automatically, I become naked as I walk through the pathway. They just can't believe what they are seeing. They actually are quite gentle to me.

#275 - DILD - 3:09AM]

I dream something about some old biblical stuff. I find a statue of a saint.
I have a strange false awakening standing up. I remember I was trying to WILD and lay my head down on the truck of a car.

The vibrations start and I feel like I am laying in bed. Everything feels like a normal WILD but I am reluctant to be stuck in SP again. This time I go straight to visualizing. I'm still a little confused from the last dream and really want to visit this place that was connected to the statue. I visualize a tree with a small door in it. I recite a Bible verse in my mind, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

The dream transforms me some place different. I am laying on my stomach in the back seat of a car. The dream slowly flickers into view as I am looking at my hand clapping and rubbing. I sit up and see my Dad driving. The front has a bench seat and my son is standing on the other side next to him. My son hits my dad and my dad slaps at him in a weak childish way. Then, they both slap hands at each other. I stop all of it by clapping my hands on my dad's ears as hard as I can several times until he yells at me to stop. I say, "You can't hurt me in my non physical form." I am under the impression that I just had an OBE while traveling and my physical body in still lying in the seat asleep.

I try to see where we are going but I feel really near sighted. I ask, "Where are we? I can't see." My dad just gives some non-answer. See some cars passing us the other way and ask if we are in a town yet. Again he avoids answering me. I'm really confused what we are doing and ask if we are picking up my daughters. I don't remember what he says but it wasn't satisfying. I see that we are parking on the side of some building. When the car stops, I expect it will wake me up.

I have another FA and lose lucidity. I feel the shift of returning to my sleeping body and set up in the car. I feel very tired and can hardly open my eyes. I try to record my dream in my DJ and as I recall I begin to feel very confused about this whole thing. Something just isn't right. Before I can put two and two together my wife rolls over and wakes me up.