lucid

Hello everyone. im new here and i have a question about this lucid dream. i took lsd on saturday the 17th of janurary 2016. everytime i try to go to sleep, i have this same dream

its a dream where i can see myself laying down with my eyes open and i cant move or say anything. im just standing there looking at myself, and i know im dreaming

i can tell thats its a dream but i dont know how to controll anything in my dream. and i know when you lucid dream you should be able to controll your dream.

this has happended 4 times now. im not sure what message this dream is trying to tell me. but i have a feeling its not something good. and when i wake up from this

dream i dont feel like a got any sleep. and i have this sharp pain in my neck and shoulders. im not sure whats going on but i need to figure this out.

18.01.2016

Through the Broken Window (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Coming out of the house through window and worried about relative thinking window is broken. They make the hand gesture of "hurry up!" which entailed that the structure of the window was the least of their concerns. I go into the vehicle, and somehow, the vehicle in the backyard shifts its way outward.

_________________________

18.01.2016

Lady Kills Two Murderers (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

People out to kill a man, then a lady comes in to kill one of them running away by his neck with a sword 1800s type of clothing

- Small room
- She's wearing a dark green dress
- Dress style she's wearing is akin to the female in the dream collapsing in Inception; remember that.

17.01.2016

The Chicken Breast Rooftop Challenge (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m standing on top of a blue, pastel stylized rooftop with another dream characters. The plot of the dream was to ensure that the chicken breast packages that you would typically see in grocery retail wouldn’t topple over.

How I assessed this was by standing in the center, and then analyzing the environment through different angles to calculate which crevice underneath the peculiar roofing would have the chicken breast packages fall over. There was one moment where there’s an old lady underneath walking out, and I had the feeling that the chicken breast package on that side would topple over.

I dash over, and managed to place it back through the slot in time. Fortunately, there was about 30 seconds left on the timer displayed on top in the dream. And as soon as it reached zero, I take a jump into the blue abyss below me, and start looking at the area I was just in. It was contained in some transparent sphere, and I’m falling at a moderate pace while smiling at someone, but I’m not sure who.

16.01.2016

Kicked Out of Vehicle (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I’m being kicked out of a car by some relatives, and while I’m looking at the environment, I lose incentive to carry out the rest of the dream.

14.01.2016

Dog Dissipates Into Puddle (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

The atmosphere entails that it’s early morning, or the afternoon that’s shrouded with clouds. There’s an overlay of orange everywhere around me, and everything feels so clean and nice outside.

It’s raining, and there’s a black dog with large quantities of fur that’s stuck in a puddle. I try to save it, but it somehow dissipates into the puddle. For reasons unknown, I’m breaking a banana once, and then again after the event. I think I was grieving for the loss of the dog transiently, and I shift my focus on the next driveway that looks like a place that I currently reside in.

I see three Hispanic entities that come out of nowhere, and I follow them.

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14.01.2016

She's Bagging Thin Air & Being Asked Dating Advice (DILD)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

So, another dream of the girl that I’ll nickname ShaP. She’s glancing at me when I’m not, and then said glancing isn’t contingent on that anymore. She’s bagging for a bit, but isn’t really touching anything. Then, another girl that looks like AngeliT asks me for dating advice.

19/1/2016 (mon)

Before 4.20
ND "Problem with the Lights"
The lights aren't working upstairs. I try the spare room and those are dead too. Fuse must have blown, or it tripped out the breakers. Heading downstairs, the layout of the ground floor all different, but I try to find the cupboard under the stairs where the circuit breakers should be. Instead the box is mounted on some kind of cabinet thing. The whole room consists of piles of random junk. Sure enough one of the switches is tripped so I reset it.

After this we start cleaning up the room, passing bits of rubbish into a bag. A group of people are standing in a line as if waiting for a photograph to be taken. I stand next to NH from work and chat to her for a bit. Someone hands me a token that is the size of a 10p piece.

The dream shifts to me playing a tablet game. My cousin C leans over and presses a button, telling me it is an upgrade I should have got much earlier because it is really good. The game features small monsters fighting. Across the table people were looking at pictures I'd drawn of different types of swords. They said they like them. One appears to have a word written down the blade.

Well, it's time for a cup of tea. I collect some mugs and head into the kitchen. A female DC tries to help me make tea in a green tea pot. She says we need to put in extra tea bags, when of course it should be one for each person and one for the pot, everyone knows that!

ND "Private Auction"
I wander around an unfamiliar city with my friend JR. We are following MG, who keeps running ahead and then momentarily stopping to wait for us, which we just walk normally. We head through several streets and then head up a set of stairs into a station.

As we climb the steps a young boy stops me and we speak for a while. A couple of other guys are trying to break the kid's leg. I threaten them, saying if they hurt the boy I'll do the same to them. They back down.

Afterwards we head up the steps into the station, which turns out to be some kind of private auction, to which we are not invited. JR bids on the first item, which is a bottle of expensive wine, and then apologises for us crashing in without invites. "Add it to our fee."
Er No, please don't, I think, wondering how much these items are worth. Everything looks expensive.

4.50-6.30am
Long LD 343 "World War Orange"
The dream opened with some kind of documentary about the start of a world war. They were calling it world war orange, because of everyone trading 'Red Nukes'. Most of the footage is of missiles being fired and tanks rolling out over farmland.

Somehow I end up riding my motorbike into the oncoming enemy forces. Various vehicles come down the road towards me - tanks, trucks, rugged adventure motorbikes, weird three wheel rickshaw things. They all seem to ignore me as I go against the flow of traffic towards their homeland, which is apparently Russia. Some of the motorbikes heading towards me look like Ducatis. That's weird. Why would the Russians ride Italian bikes? Especially into a warzone.

I start to take out some of the smaller vehicles, causing them to crash by essentially playing chicken with them and riding straight at them. I become lucid and decide to steal one of the bikes, picking up one of the knocked over Ducati Panigale 1299s and trying to ride it. The bike refuses to start, despite all my usual tricks to try and get vehicles working. Eventually I have to fake a push bike just to get it moving, pedalling like mad to move at all.

The road leads past a Harley dealership, so I pop in looking for a less troublesome motorbike. Inside there is a ladder up to another floor. I start to climb it, awkwardly as the ladder doesn't join up properly.

Screw this. Might as well do part of my 2 step task and teleport. Recalling the weekly challenge task, I start to spin and focus on teleporting to an underground location with a sunken pirate ship. My spinning turned into swimming, and the sensation of water all around me. The water is murky green, but ahead I can see the wreckage of a ship and start to swim towards it. There is a massive hole in the hull, which I swim through, searching for a treasure chest.

Finding something wooden and bulky, roughly the right size for a chest, I grab the side of it and start kicking up to the surface. The chest is heavy and keeps trying to drag me down. Persevering I finally make it to the surface and hoist the chest out onto a small dock.

The chest is made of blue leather, with a pattern like crocodile skin. Will it contain treasure? I open it up, or rather unfold it like a package. At first it just looks like a lump of rocks and mud, but then something moves. A small crab hops out and starts bouncing all over the floor. The dock has turned into a sandy beach at this point. The sight of the hopping crab makes me happy for some reason, and I chase it around on the sand for a while in carefree joy.

Beyond the beach, heading back inland, I find a small motorbike and jump on it, determined to not let the earlier troubles bring me down. This bike is much more responsive and I start weaving through a busy market filled with stalls. This leads back to the room with the ladders from the Harley dealership. This time it is filled with people. I recall another goal, one that I thought of before bed and hadn't posted yet.

After taking a look around I slide my hand around the waist of a blonde woman and ask her to come with me. The nearby doors lead into toilets... hmmm, classy. There is another door that leads to a room with a guy and a girl on a bed, and a second guy watching them. I tell them to leave. The naked guy pulls out a phone and starts calling someone in protest at me stealing their room.
"Put down the phone and leave." I command him. They all leave and I start having sex with the blonde woman.

6.40am-7.30am
Short LD 344 "Pushing a Motorbike"
For unknown reasons I'm back living with my parents. They have a new house, with a large garage on the side of it. There is a motorbike parked inside, not mine, a Kawasaki from the style of the headlights. I head inside and find a table with my keys on it. The keys have all been removed from the rings and some are missing. I can't remember what they are all for.

Back outside my Mum is standing in the garage next to the motorbike, which is now my RL bike. The garage has no back wall and leads straight into the garden. I become lucid, but in a calm, not hyper-aware mood. Unable to think of any goals I start pushing my motorbike down the garden, which leads downhill. The view over looks a valley and a forest and river below.

I woke up in the night and did a brief WBTB before going back to sleep.

The first dream was lucid one. I found myself back in my secondary school, walking down a corridor to a science class. It was basically my old school days, with the same people I went to school with as teenagers. I forgot the tasks, and instead of doing anything crazy, I just relived my old science class by joining in with an experiment with a couple of guys I used to mess around in class with. The dream carried on until the end of the lesson, and I remember putting away the apparatus in the corridor outside.

After this was a non-lucid fragment. Something about Bruce Willis. I also remember seeing a girl I used to go to school with. She looked older, and slightly different. I can't remember what she was doing though.

Another non-lucid fragment: I am in a GTA-style game. I have to shoot a man down who is stood on a bridge above me in the streets. I see him as a red dot on my radar, and I manage to do it.

The another lucid dream: I am a "mage" in a D&D-style game, but instead of being set in a fantasy world, I am just in the normal world I live in. I come to this realization while sat on a bench in town. The weather is dark and wet, like it's just been raining. As I sit there, I see another mage in front of me. He wears red robes that cover his face. He runs at me. I fire a magical arrow at him and he doubles over and collapses.

Then I have two mages in red robes running at me, but this time I am helping out a "fighter", who is just a normal guy in a T-shirt nearby. While he fights a mage, I take the other one out and try to aim another arrow at the mage fighting the fighter without hitting the fighter. I'm still sitting on the bench while this happens. That's the point where I woke up.

I get out of my car and I see three people talking. It is raining and we all appear to be at a park filled with cabins near a forest. The sky is dark and clouded, one of them ask me for a ride. I accept, I drove them about a mile away and stop the car. That's when I shot them a few times and drove back. My vision is becoming more blurry and seeing anything while it was night grew more difficult. I dump off their body at a near by lake and seem surprise that this time I didn't have any gloves on. I could hear the other two wondering why there friend went. I didn't even realize I dump the body with my eyes closed, it was actually day time and those two saw everything. One began to call the cops and I started driving off with my father. While driving I ask myself can I really be this reckless, this didn't seem right. Besides I usually only kill someone for a reason. We made to the high point of the city. This is where I realize I am dreaming. As my father and I enter inside the building to see a movie.

I was riding a bike around an oval indoor track. I started thinking about how this would be a good lucid dreaming technique, just imagining doing something repetitively until I'm dreaming. It dawned on me that I was dreaming. Still riding my bike, I found an exit door and plowed through it to go outside. I got off my bike and jumped up to fly. It was nighttime but it was cloudy so there were no stars. My body was feeling heavy, so flying into space wasn't looking too good. I thought maybe I could go underground into the void and go to space from there. I dove down into the ground and entered a void. As I was dropping, I could hear a fountain. I landed and saw I was now in a huge domed building. Below me was a giant pool with a couple of large fountains and what looked like a track to a water ride. I jumped down into the water and swam along the track. I found that it wasn't really a track, but more a rubber snake. The ride went into another room. I found the ride was like a storybook canal with intricate miniature sculptures of villages along the side. I was able to rotate my right forefinger in order to speed up time to go faster. After a few seconds of fast-forwarding, though it lost it's effectiveness. I was trying to make it work again, when I woke up.

18/1/2016 (sun)

Before 6am
Fragments
-My parents are staying with friends of theirs. I head over on my own to meet them. The house has large gardens. While walking towards the unfamiliar house, I wonder if her friends will recognise me. The last time we met I was probably 9 years old. Inside the house are an unusual collection of people, including my old boss DB.

-A TV show is being filmed in a large building. I run through the room, past someone talking to a camera, messing up the take. Screw it. I find a dead end and backtrack through the shot again as they restart filming. There are narrow stairs leading up. Here there is more filming taking place, for a different show. People are talking about designing helmets for a competition. TR has submitted a design already. I pick up and study a streamlined helmet, which is like the British olympic cycling team ones in style and shape.

-In a car as a passenger. Following a rider on a horse. The horse is at a strange angle, like 45 degrees rather than walking straight. The car is apparently stressing it out, so I tell the driver to back off a bit. The rider almost falls off but recovers. As we move lanes to go straight over at a set of lights, the horse moves out as well. Already at the lights is a giant cart thing. It rolls back and almost crushes the horse and rider.

6.30-7.30am
Short LD 342 "Throwing Stones"
ST and myself are wandering around tunnels on the London Underground. The walls are decorated in mosaic tiles. An announcement booms out: The train is already at the platform and about to leave. This doesn't fill me with urgency though, we continue walking. The tunnels lead to some stairs that fold back on themselves in incomprehensible MC Escher type ways. This makes me lucid.

After becoming lucid I start to fly upwards and backwards to get out of the dark underground tunnel. I emerge on a platform with large stone cubes instead of benches. Recalling the super strength task I try to lift the nearest one. It is easy to do, but the cube seems to have shrunk and feels really light. I pick up a few more of the stone cube seats and manage to lift one over my head, then throw it with one arm.

I was in some flat with my mum and 5-years-old niece. Went to the kitchen and saw a big petard in fire.on the table. I was scared and count fingers,then went to mum and niece and said:"don't worry,its a dream! just close the door to the kitchen and all will be ok". several times i opened the door and looked at the petard. it was burning,but not exploded.

Some fractured recall last night.

The first part was a lucid dream, about having a "day off" (according to my notes) and travelling to a town in Cornwall with a group of people.

I become lucid, and I decide to enter someone's home. I walk into the living room and I notice one of those toys from the eighties which is like a viewer for picture slides. Just as I'm about to go pick it up, a man walks in and asks what I'm doing here. The house belongs to a young woman who lives there. I tell him that I know the woman and it's okay, and he seems convinced by this. He leaves. I pick up the eighties slide viewer and look at the images. All I see are really old black and white pictures of two elderly, bespectacled men talking to each other.

I lose lucidity at some point and end up dreaming about being in the military. We are simulating a terrorist attack and I have to crouch in position somewhere. I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing, so I get up and leave, which messes up the entire operation.

Then I had another lucid dream, this time set in a multi-storey car park. Some of these people are ordinary members of the public, some are these strange people in an orange puffa jacket uniform. I gain lucidity and I decide to try throwing them into walls and out off the highest point of the car park. They just get up and smile at me.

The final dream is non-lucid. I'm in an unfamiliar house. In one room is one of my old teachers from secondary school who I didn't like. Around him are "family members" - a couple of men who are supposed to be my uncles but don't look anything like them. I try to eavesdrop on their conversation, as it's supposed to be important but I don't catch anything.

Then I am approached by some kid I used to know at school who is supposed to be my cousin (but isn't in real life). He wants me to figure out what they are up to, as it's supposed to be important.

The door to my father bedroom had already been open. I could see my father lying down resting. Judging from how bright the curtains are, I could tell it was day light. I decided to enter the room figuring it would be good to catch up on some sleep to. I get in to bed and my father appears in a odd silver car that can fly in the air. Before I knew it, the house had dismantle itself revealing the outside entirely. My father ask me is it time to leave already? But I am assuming the answer came to him as responded saying no we'll be leaving tomorrow.

I realize now that I am in a silver car as well and decided to fly to a gun store and a clothing store. I soon found a lane and wanted to drive on it for sometime. Instead the cops spotted me going over the speed limit and soon started following me. Since they were after me I figure my best bet would be to get off the road and head over to the near by woods to ditch them there. While I am driving through the woods I see a S.W.A.T van already park in my direction. Soldiers appear to be coming out of it so I steer my vehicle in to another part of the woods. Not long after doing that I decided it would be best to lose them on foot.

As I am running I bump in to my mother and told her now is not the time. But it would seem that my time had already run out. There is a police officer pointing his gun at me. That is when I begin running to him in a attempt to knock him down. I wasn't able to and instead got shot. However it would seem I had the ability to reverse time which is exactly what I chose to do. This time I didn't even bother talking to my mother. I ran up the hill in a different part of the woods but somehow this cop had enough time to catch up to me. He makes another attempt to shoot me again but I evade his bullet this time. I quickly tackle him down as I could hear more of officers approaching us near by. I look ahead of me and see a barricade of people standing in my way.

I bash through them however the officer I previously knock down had gotten up. He didn't waste anytime firing his bullets at me while we are both running. I pulled out my gun and manage to shoot him in the arm. Then I fortunately got super speed that I use to run on the air to double the trouble of catching me. I could tell by the looks on their faces they didn't know how to deal with the situation anymore. But a problem soon arise, I am going too fast and apparently got rip out of that world and back in to my garage.

Where all of them we're in a screen resembling a movie. The were aware of my presence still and could see me on the other side. One officer pointed his gun toward me on the screen to finish me. I tried use my super speed but it was inactive now. The man fired his gun but it did not go through the television screen.

The dream scene change with me playing tekken in some abandon parking lot. It was colored but of course due to time some of it had vanish. I finish my last match against a guy named tictactoe. He sent me a message saying ranks matter. I didn't agree to this and tried to type out my own message. However it began raining which prevented me from clicking send. I soon notice I was with 3 other people. They had also been hanging at the parking lot entrance.

I walk to them which they seem to be arguing. A guy who look like they were in to body building is talking to a woman who looks strange. Theirs arm were huge on top and small on bottom. Guess it wasn't going well as they both started walking away. I continue to walk pass the entrance in till the parking lot turn in to a mall. My brother who appeared next to me was also ask by a teacher to get hired at this place. We both agreed and were told to wait. We both sat down on chairs, my brother pointed that he and I were both on TV. He was right, my brother then said he is going to the restroom.

I look at him and said you haven't realize it yet have you? His face seems confuse. I told him all of this has already happen and we're simply experiencing it all again. He ask we are? I said yes, haven't you gotten lucid by now? A large group of people ran out of the glass door before my brother could answer. We both walk out as well and we were all old to fix the broken TV.

I'm really sorry if I already posted this, I was having difficulties.
Two nights ago was amazing, guys! Not only did I fill up more then I ever have in my dream journal in one night, but I had my first goodish lucid dream! I'll cut out the less main dreams and spare you the details. But, anywhoo, on with the dreams!
My dad and I are at a college library, and I'm looking for Percy Jackson books. For some reason the shelves are all disorganized and the books aren't there. My dad just tells me to check out a different book rather then to spend any more time looking, so I do.
My sister and I are going into this aquarium museum thingy, and we see our Uncle and Aunt who are currently not on speaking terms with the rest of the family. I hear the uncle say to the aunt "there they are" so me and my sister hurry away quickly. I then realize that we passed the betta exhibit, so I tell my sister we have to go back to see it. She says no, so I go alone. A little bit later, or maybe it's just the next dream, but I am Hermione with Ron and Harry in The Deathly Hallows. I cast the hex on Harry so that his face looks disfigured. Then I am in my church, and I throw a pencil into the baptismal font. I am still Hermione, and Bellatrix is there. For some reason, Harry and I want to hide some sort of ribbon from her, so I pretend to faint while really sticking the ribbon into a garbage bag. She realizes what I did, and makes Harry throw the garbage outside. Then I get worried that Harry will dispose of the garbage in the wrong way, so I go outside to help him throw out the garbage. Instead of finding Harry, I find my friends who are raking someone's yard. There is a bird nest in the yard, and a chick flies out of it. We are all really interested and play with it and pet it and stuff.
Ok, here's the good stuff.
It is night and my family and I are waiting for my grandma to come. A black truck stops in our driveway, but it isn't grandma's. Mom tells us that we should escape, so we all run out the side garage door into the woods. We are not too far into the woods when I realize that the man from the truck is following us. We start running farther into the woods, and I notice that there are odd mansions in the woods. I don't question it too much though, and keep running. It is like we ran through a mirror, because we now are running towards our house again. There are words on the bottom of the deck (we have a really high deck) that say "wand" and "magic" and I think that maybe I can jump onto the deck because of that, but I can't. I run up the stairs of the deck, and Draco Malfoy is there with a plastic wand along with someone else with a stick for a wand. They are pointed at me. I break them easily, and all the fear goes away. It is summertime and I am on the deck, my mom doing gardening nearby. I suddenly realize I am dreaming, maybe because of the warmth, I don't know. I think about what I should do, I didn't have a plan. I decide just to examine the world around me, and I realize several things. 1) My mom is wearing a short sleeved orange shirt. 2) I think about what just happened in the dream. 3) The world seems SO real it is uncanny. 4) I remember the basic task of the month, to read a book title. I turn around, and a binder is sitting there. I read the title on it, but it is too long, and I think I won't be able to remember it, so I find a different book. This one is a notebook. It has two words in the title, but unfortunately I can't remember them, either. Right after this, I forget I am dreaming
Oh, I forgot to say this. Earlier that night before the LD, I had a dream that I was LDing, so when I had the real LD, I made sure I wasn't dreaming about a LD before I started doing anything.
If anyone is wondering, I have a complete LDing plan all set and ready now.

#483 - DILD - 8:43AM

I had an idea during a jog yesterday to play with psychedelic sand in my next LD so that's what I aimed for. I was having a hard time getting lucid even with a dose of galantamine (too tired) so I feel lucky to have pulled this off so late this morning. I dreamed tons. Most of them were pretty boring, but I enjoyed a strong feeling of bliss that carried through each one.

[QUOTE = "summary"]I noticed I was living in a strange town and became lucid. I started jumping really high until the dream destabilized then I remembered my goal. I found some sand and played with it with expectations of something trippy to happen. I saw patterns and colors and deep space while my hands morphed. I woke up shortly after.[/QUOTE]

I am standing on the back steps of a house that I think of as my home. Something feels off, but familiar at the same time. It's lightly raining and my see Alysha and Riley playing in water puddles. Suddenly, Riley does a belly slide through a deep puddle. I smile and glance at my wife who is intent on watching him. Riley then takes a deep gulp of water and spits it out my direction. I move over to him, "Eww! No, don't do that. It's dirty."
In response, he starts to cough and spit like he has dirt in his mouth. My wife moves in to help, but he recovers quickly and goes on playing.

I become introspective again while worrying about the rain. I remember that I had decided to go for another run today, but this rain is making me renege on that idea. I look around an wonder what town this is. I recall going for a jog in town yesterday, but I can't make it fit in this setting. I ask Alysha, "Hey, where did I run yesterday? I don't know this town anymore."
My wife ignores me and watches an older girl wonder up and play with my son in the rain. I think I should be feeling wet by now but my body feels nothing. I wonder who this girl is, then notice we are basically in a church parking lot. I see other people come wondering out of the building. Then it hits me. I remember that I was trying to DEILD just a moment ago and almost succeeded. I do a nose plug and blow through. I become excited and start jumping up and down. My jump turns into giant leaps and gliding downward. I try to look down and see if anyone is noticing me but the dream is breaking up now. I recall my sand goal and stop jumping to stabilize.

I crawl around until my vision clears and notice that I am face to face with asphalt. It's a parking lot and there is a blue pickup truck nearby. I stand up and search out a sand pit. I worry about the rain making the sand wet, but quickly dismiss that idea. I see an grassy area next to the church. I rush over and next to an AC unit I see patch of deep sand just big enough to play in. I lay on my stomach and pick up handfuls, letting the sand pour out. It all looks normal except the color of the sand looks more like sponge cake being darker on top like its been baked. I then remember that I need to have more expectation of something psychedelic. I do so as I take a finger and swirl the sand round, stirring it up. I quickly see geometric circle patterns flow out with traces of red. I shout out in delight, "Whoa cool!" I pick up more sand. My hands look cartooned and as the sand flows, it looks like multicolored, jagged lines of ink. I shout, "Whoa, man! Psychedelic sand! Yes!" The dream goes dark now and I feel that I am waking up. I test it by shouting "Hey" a few times, risking my wife coming in the room. However, it sounds really dreamy still so I roll over to my back. I look up and say, "Let me see outer space." A star field forms then quickly zooms into deep space. It's so beautiful that I reach out for it. I am surprised when my hands and arms look distorted and flowing like tentacles. There must be five or six appendages rapidly flowing up and waving like they are caught in a strong current of cosmic energy. I smile, "Whoa cool. Outer space, man." I then spread all of my tentacle apart and the view of deep space splits and moves out of view, putting me back in darkness. I feel satisfied enough with this dream to go ahead and wake up. For some reason, I keep repeating, "Outer space, man." Over and over. I know I sound like a stoner hippy, but I don't care at the moment. There's a brief flash of a false awakening, then I wake for real.