nightmare

a virus had got loose, making people flesh eating zombies, i was in the middle of the chaos, outside in the city. i wanted to go home so i took a bus, it was full of people staring at each other if someone was going to eat each other. looking my side window i could see everything, how bad the situation was. I finally got inside my house, it wasnt my real house, it looked different, but i didnt pay attention. What i first wanted to do was to se if anybody was still home. my mother was there, she had been bitten, but there had not been any effect yet, my cat was there to, tried to hold it, but it bit me in the hand, it wouldnt let go of it. i felt no pain, but i could that the bite was to strong and i couldnt get my hand loose.................

a dream about a me runnin around in an evil clowns labyrint, whose goal is to scare people not kill them, he motivates people to go trough his scary labyrint, by offering his help, but then he will just play a big prank on you.

Started out a man with a chainsaw was chasing me around trying to kill me but i was getting away. He looked like a cross between Jason and the texas chainsaw massacre guy. Anyways he finally caught up to me and slashed at me, waking me up. The reason I'm writing this insignificant short dream here is because for a split second when i woke up i could still see the chainsaw asshole standing in my room attacking me!! wtf is up with that?

Dream 1:

I'm in some school building with my friend K from school, and we are making ruckus and running around on top of AC vents, and sometimes dropping things on people below. This goes on for some time with teachers chasing us.

Dream 2:

I am in some hotel suite with 2 blast doors that are see through. For some reason my Dad has gone crazy and we are trying to keep him out. The smaller blast door takes 10 seconds to close and the larger blast door takes 30 seconds. The doors block the entryway to 2 separate balconies, and the balconies aere accessible by ladder. My dad chases me around when I accidentally open one of the blast doors and then I escape by swinging away on a rope dangling from a window a story above me. I eventually make it inside safely.

So apparently what I have been having lately are vivid, and now as recently as last night, spontaneous lucid dreams. Both dreams drain me and I do not feel like I am getting alot of sleep. However with the lucid dreams, I kept waking up and then going back to sleep just to continue dreaming again hoping I could change things. Nothing changed, all I did was extend the dream and then entered the appearance of a man who I am now calling my "soul mate". This is also where I believe my shared dream experience started.

Here's how my dream the night of April 16-17 started: It was a nightmare type scene incorporating some of my usual scenery:

• the ocean, usually with wild with tsunami-like waves approaching inland
• a building with basement apartments and the higher ones having balconies facing the ocean
• the presence of people trying to hunt me down when I am hiding in an apartment (or in other cases I will be in a house and people will be trespassing and trying to steal what I have for their survival)

Aside from those usual events/views, this dream added a whole new twist. I was in a hotel instead of an apartment building. Again, there were rooms at a basement level. I start realizing this was a dream around this point as I said in my dream, "great, I have been here before, now what do I have to face?" Well, boy did I bring on a challenge! Characters came out of the woodworks to befriend, then betray me, actors and actresses were my friends, at one point we were even filming a movie, then it turned sour. The waves starting picking up near this hotel which was on a hill right on the ocean. There were open structures with high beams and above ground walkways as part of the hotel facility. I was confronted by a team of "Charlie's Angels" type women who kept coming after me with intent to kill me. But interestingly enough, one of them took the seducing approach to try to kill me and we even had a lesbian experience, hahaha! But that was before I got rid of her when I knew what her agenda was. So, one by one I cleverly outsmarted them and didn't use one weapon. Then, when I was really exhausted and starting to get really scared as the daylight passed and the night fell. I started feeling nervous as I was anticipating who was going to come after me next.

Soon after, my "soul mate" lovingly comes to my "rescue" and says all the right things, like: "I was searching for you, I am here, we're going to be OK, etc.". I felt so safe in his arms and can vividly recall the warmth of his slightly hairy chest as he hugged me with a sincere feeling of commitment, faith, hope, strength, and love. From there, we battled whatever we had to and he took the lead in taking me out of my nightmare. However, where we ended up next was crazy! The next thing I know we start out on top of these slides, bouncing off objects like we were marbles going through an obstacle course. As soon as we got there, we didn't have to speak to each other, because I just knew... this was "his" nightmare. Right before our journey I even said aloud, "damn-it, now we have to face your nightmare... OK, we can do it." So there we went on a wild ride down slides, with weird tunnels, amusement park lights flashing throughout, and sometime after that I just woke up.

Now this isn't the first time I have dreamed of this "soul mate". In fact I can remember that he has made 2 other appearances in 2011. I see his body type on the larger side, at least 5'11, darker short hair, partial facial hair, white skin, and of course to me, he felt like home. He always does. It's as if we BOTH have been waiting to find each other, but somehow we meet in this dream world, always battling or investigating something together to bring out the truth about something.

Something else just occurred to me that may be of importance to note... In the second of part of the dream where we are in "his" nightmare, I also realize that I have had this nightmare myself. The "decor" of the slides/tunnels/bouncing objects, etc. looked differently (this time it was all in the color brown, where in my nightmares it is full of circus type colors and lights). In any event, I state that this may be important, because I said it was "his" nightmare, but it is also one of my mine. The main difference being I wasn't as scared as he was. I believe I led him out of his nightmare. Well, actually, I hope I did. The way he did for me.

Well, that's it for now. This is my first DJ post and I am looking forward to capturing more dreams here and making new friends.

Love and blessings to all! <3

Sunday, April 17, 2011*

I awaken in bed at about 6am and decide it's a perfect time to WILD.
At first, I'm unsuccessful so I turn over on my other side. Moments later I'm sitting up in bed behind my covers and I'm afraid. I have my eyes shut, but I can feel something in the room and it starts grabbing at me. This whole time I'm thinking "It's not real only a dream" so I start telling it to go away. I think it works eventually because my eyes are open and my room is empty. I lay back in bed cover myself and think "I have an aura protecting my head and my covers protecting my body, I'm safe". I remember reading the aura thing somewhere. Next thing I know I can feel something climb up onto my bed and on my back. For some reason at first I panic and actually grab one of it's hands. The hand felt so damn real I just squeezed. I don't know what it looked like because my eyes are still shut. In a panicked state I try to scream and just as I do it laughs in my ear. I then remember that in SP there is the old hag and if you fight it lasts longer so I relaxed and knew I couldn't be hurt and it wasn't real. I wake up in my bed stiff and admittedly frightened. Im in the original position i rolled into while attempting to wild. It takes me a few minutes to confirm to myself I'm actually awake this time.*

This is a dream I had when I was like 9 or 10. I had a job and was trying to get to work. I lived at the top of a huge building with no elevator. It would've taken forever to get to the bottom and catch a cab using the stairs. I then found a shortcut in the air ducts/vents of the building. I was hungry to so I took a granola bar with me for breakfast. While crawling through the vents i saw Spider-man. He tried to beat me up so he could steal my breakfast. I tried to get away but the vents were cramped. Then it turned out that the vent was on the side of the building. He broke the vent and pushed me out took my breakfast and I fell 20 stories, but I always wake up right before I die in dreams so then I woke up.

This one was 2 days ago.

I was sleeping and my room got really dark. I hear my door open, but i was too scared to look. I finally turned around to see what it was and this little girl is standing right next to me. She whispers '' it's okay'', and dissapears. Then the skinless man that i've had in so many dreams come walking next to my bed,stands there, and brushes his rhand across my cheeck and says, '' you're even prettier in person, can't wait to have you home''. With a voice of like no emotion. At that point i was trying to figure out what was going on, so i got up and went trought this door and as i walked in, the walls were grey with writting on it. Idon't remember what it said or anything, i jus kept running into this room full of mirrors. The lights turned on and off, and it did that for a few seconds until at one point everytime they turned on, there would be more and more people behind me, trying to touch me. I start screaming ''LEAVE ME ALONE!'', but they just smile. It's as if they were hungry, i can't describe the feeling. I run and run, and i hear my bestfriend's voice,so i follow it and i find hiim in this empty room. I run towards him with tears running down my face, i was shaking, so scared. He hugs me for the longest time. I looked up to him about to tell him that we need to get out of there, but as i look up.... it wasn't him. It was the ''devil''. It smiles at me and says '' glad to have you home''.
i woke up in shock. i felt weird, like new. I turned on the T.V and the song E.t by katy perry was just on, and as i'm listening to it, i smile with this feeling that that song was ment for me. It was the most weirdest thing ever. I keep getting chills from remembering this, as i was typing this, it was as if a movie was playing inside my head.
Then today i woke up in the middle of the night, and saw what i tought were green eyes, but i just went back to sleep. i felt something watching me, and started having this dream or whatever that this demon thing was watching me sleep..

After that nightmare, the weeks after that my nightmares have been of him trying to convince me to go with him along with other dreams that were good.
Here's a little piece i remember of one of those nightmares.
So i was sleeping in my room and i was watching my self sleep.
Everything is calm until my door opens and this skinless tall man walks in and stands at the end of my bed just watching me sleep. He didn't notice i was watching him. His eyes were full of desire. Then he just dissapeared, and then i was back in my body asleep but i could see everything around me. And my room is full with shadows around me and skinless people, watching me sleep. I remember i couldn't move at all. And i get random nightmares of them watching me sleep, and i can feel them sometimes.

This one i can't remember when it happened.
I was in my room and i was thinking of all the things i wanted, where i wanted to be later on in life. Then all of a sudden my room gets really cold and dark, and this black figure with horns and horse legs pops up on my couch. I knew it was the devil, i mean it might not have looked like it, but for some reason i knew it. And it was talking to me trough my head, saying, '' i could give you that and more, with me you can have all the happiness you deserve you can have anything you wish, just come with me''. Surprisingly i was starting to get convinced, but then i remembered what about god? And it laughed and said,'' haha, what has he done for you he's nothing, i can give you more than he ever will.'' Then i started praying but he kept laughing harder and harder, untill i woke up.

So this was a few weeks after my first one.
So, i remember running trough this byou that's near my house, and i kept hearing screaming. There were red brick around me, and a fence.
I ran towards the fence and looked over it and saw my friend getting raped by this dark figure. All i remember about this man or thing is the bright green eyes it had. After that happened i just watched. Then i hear footsteps behind me and i turn around to see this black thing, it had like horse legs i dont know how to explain but it was hairy and it's face looked like part dragon. Big black eyes and sharp teeth along with a huge smirk on it's face. Well, it smiled at me and said, ''this is all for you daughter''. Then it just laughed, and i woke up.

This was like 2 months ago, but i've been having what i guess you could call ''demonic dreams''.
So as i fell asleep i appeared in my dream in what seemed like an apartment zone. It was very dak outside and I remember having that feeling that i knew this place, though i really didn't. Well, i remember seeing shadows fly across the buildings and trees. Then there were other people with me but i couldn't see who they were i just felt like i knew who they were. Then there's street lights and they slowly start going off. The next thing i see is gates, this is when i got the feeling of fear, i felt like i had to look for someone. At that time i couldn't tell who i was trying to find but then all of a sudden i remembered i had to get my friend justin from hell. That didn't make sense, but as i walked into several gates there were what looked like dragons/demons, dark shadows, people that didn't have faces it was just skin. And i finally found him, but i never got out. That's the first ''demonic dream'' i can remember.

Dream - Lucid

I remember something about doing some study, something about lucid dreamers and non-lucid dreamers.

~

I was on a school bus, sitting on the left side towards the back. We were going on some band trip. It was nighttime. I remember some guy from elementary school being on the bus. I had had a crush on him or something. We were all talking about how many girls had liked him.

I then remember I was the only one sitting on the bus seat, and I had wanted the guy from elementary school to sit with me. Instead, a girl I knew in very early elementary school came and sat next to me. She asked if she could first, and I said yes. I fell asleep on the bus.

When I woke up, we were at our destination. A band parent was trying to tell us all what to do and where to go. Everyone started to get off the bus. I picked up my bags and left too.

The next thing I remember is sitting at a kitchen table in a house with some of my friends. One girl, someone I knew in high school, Sarah, was sitting next to some guy she was apparently dating. I was sitting next to the guy, putting me at the very end of the large table. We were all laughing and talking. I noticed I was sitting next to a counter that had some spiders on it. Sarah lifted up the guy, who killed the spiders. I looked at the guy, who was still lifted, almost hoisted over Sarah's shoulder. He had a green dinosaur tail and dinosaur legs.

I then remember waking up outside. It was still nighttime. I was behind a white van. I had apparently fallen asleep standing up. Anyway, I started to hear a noise; someone was coming. I ran into the house that we were all staying at, and started to run into the kitchen. I saw someone approaching the door that I had just entered.

I made it into the kitchen, and was with Sarah and another person. A man entered. He was disheveled-looking, with greasy shoulder-length dark hair and some facial hair (he looked very similar to the dog-killing man from another one of my dreams). I was scared; we all stared at him with dropped jaws. He pulled out a gun, and fired it at me. I flinched, and all that happened was I felt a puff of warm air go by my head. Apparently, the gun was out of bullets. He commented on this, and said he'd be back later to have sex with me. Then, he started to steal things around the room, mostly food items; I distinctly remember him taking some boxes of granola bars.

He then left, and I was very upset, scared, and overwhelmed about the situation. I bawled. I saw myself in third person, and I had tears and snot all over my face from all the crying I was doing. I went up to Sarah, who looked the same as I did with the tears and snot, and said
"He almost killed me...he almost killed us!"

I woke up terrified. I was afraid to go back to sleep for a few minutes.

I'm being taken back to the house. Oh noo not the farmhouse!! Anywhere but there!! No please I beg my tormentors don't make me go inside! The main floor isn't too bad,it has dark wood floors and walls. Dark red throw rug and furniture. There is a stone fireplace sometimes it's lit. The upstairs has linoleum flooring and light wallpaper it is bright and sunny.In the rooms are people tied to the walls by their hands. They sit there and scream and cry for help. I'm just a child in the dream I can't help them. Same in the basement only it is cold and dark. The man is walking me through the house showing me all the rooms all the people. He doesn't speak he is dressed in black from head to toe and wears something like a ski mask on his head. The man takes me out to the barn he puts me in a horse stall I stand there and watch as the heavy iron doors with the iron huge nails on them close. It's loud and Iam trapped in there until he takes me out.

I have had this dream since I was 7. I'm an adult and trying to make sense of it all. I still get them though they have changed a bit since then. I'm interested in hearing what people think.

WAKING LIFE DREAMING LUCID UNDERLINED IF IT FEELS PARTICULARLY SIGNIFICANT

Spoiler for Past Related Dreams and History:

History

A new experience dreaming the other night. It gave me hope even though I woke in fear. It also prompted me to get off my butt and finally join a forum that discusses such things. First, a little history.

In the past I’ve had a reoccurring dream of family members and others trying to kill me. One repeated every year it seemed, starting at the age of about 8 and ending (at least consciously) around 18. In this dream a calm and intense voice announced to me that my family was turning into monsters. I ran from them. My father chased me (the chase scenes varied significantly, thought it seems that they were always outside of my grandmother’s house, where the dream started). Sometimes I got away, sometimes I fell, and there was one time I thought I experienced death before I woke up. The dreams filled me with terror.

Other similar dreams have often occurred, the main theme being that someone is stalking me and I am aware that they wanted to kill me. Sometimes I’d confront them. Most times it would be an endless hiding and running deep fear experience. Sometimes it was a combination of both. I’ve experienced other variations of this type of terror dream, often including sharks (in college), tornadoes, and tidal waves.
Usually when I wake the consuming fear and sadness and loneliness from these dreams is so very present, infusing me to some extent throughout the day no matter how much I process and release it. It can be exhausting. Ok, pretty much done with the history.


Recent History

A couple nights ago a terror dream was different than other experiences. I haven’t been remembering my dreams as often in the recent past (I started to type recent future, lol). I had meditated right before sleeping with binaural audio that also incorporates other meditation-inducing aspects. It was a pretty deep meditation and a lot more emotional pain than usual came up, but I was largely able to hold the discomfort in a larger awareness and release happened as well. I fell asleep.

Nightmare with Lucid Meditation

The terror dream was a series of people trying to kill me. Each chapter seemed to occur in my current home or a similar one.

One instance was a psychological death of sorts, where someone wanted me to admit something I’d done that hurt them but I knew that if they knew it would hurt them more than if I didn’t tell them. I felt ashamed. As they tried to dig it out of me tears ran down my face and I avoided looking into their eyes. I think I explained to them at one point that I couldn’t tell them or they would be more hurt. I was conflicted and I’m not sure I held my ground (I think the dream changed at that point).

The dream continued, one person trying to kill me, the dream morphing, then another person trying to kill me, and so on. They were sneaky, some trying to lull me into feeling comfortable with them. It didn’t work. I knew. I resisted. After a few chapters in the dream, I became aware that I was dreaming. In this lucid state I tried different tactics.

1. Dream Control

I tried what I now know to be called dream control. Tried to turn my stalker away, tried to make them friendly, tried to make it not be about being stalked. That wasn’t as “successful” as the tactic has been in other lucid dreams I've had.

2. Wake

I tried to wake myself. In the dream I had access to my real memories: I recalled that I’d woken myself from a nightmare as a young child, maybe 5 years old, after frantically trying to wake in the dream and having no success. This is how I remember it. I became aware of my physical body in my bed. I tried to open my eyes. Felt my eyebrows raising, my lids stretching, but they stayed together. I tried to move my arms. They were heavy, they wouldn’t move. Then my shoulders responded. Finally my arms moved. I reached up and opened my eyes with my hands and woke like that…my fingers on my eyelids, having pulled them apart manually.

Remembering the success of this childhood experience, I attempted this tactic in my dream last night while lucid. It failed. Throughout using these wake-myself-up-please tactics,

I would think I had awakened only to find out I was still in the dream. I became identified with the dream and then lucid and aware I was dreaming (usually because I had a new stalker or less often because something else wouldn't be the same as in my home) again over and over after each failed attempt.

First I tried to wake myself by simply willing it, then throwing a large amount of the energy of my desire to wake into it.

Then I tried to feel my body in my bed, to establish a connection like I thought I had in childhood. It seemed that I could feel my body and that I woke. This was the first time I thought I'd woken up but after I “woke” myself I soon discovered I was being stalked again and had not escaped the dream.

Then I tried to not only feel my body but to move my body, however, I found I wasn’t very coordinated and I was flailing. I became afraid of hurting myself or spilling my water on my nightstand, etc.

The cycle of thinking I had awoken and then realizing I was still in the dream (I think called false awakenings?) came full circle at least 3 times, though in my not completely clear recollection it feels like it was more like 4 to 6 times.

3. Lucid Meditation

At one point I tried to meditate in the dream, hold the dream and the fear of the dream in the arms of my awareness so that I wasn’t so self-identified with it and terrified. This was the new accomplishment. A big one. I don’t think it lasted long, maybe a couple minutes.

I’ve been in different meditative states in many dreams, but this one was intentionally, lucidly, induced. Even though it was a meditation initially infused with the desire to escape from the emotions, I'm still goanna break out with a yay! I came to a place where I wasn’t hiding or trying to wake up. I was confronting in an accepting way while still trying to protect myself.

The meditation did not relieve the fear but I felt more me, more whole. At first the fear was very present and perhaps more so. It seems that the fear ebbed to some degree after a time. I remember looking down on my body during the meditation. The dream also may have gone to black and white during the meditation and got a static quality to it, like white noise. I don't remember ever dreaming in black and white, though now that I look back I don't recall any color in the dream at any point. I am skeptical of it not being in color, however, because now it is days since the dream occurred and I only remember snippets. After the short meditation is when I fuzzily think I woke.

I don't remember the sequence of the following parts of the dream. I'm about 90% sure I wasn’t lucid at the time:

I felt physical pain when one stalker was biting my lips. The physical pain felt so…well…physical. It hurt in a sharp way, just as if my dream body was a physical one. That realization is unsettling and also wondrous. Now I realize that both of the times I have been aware of physical pain in dreams was when I was being bitten. Both dreams were at some point lucid dreams, but not lucid at the time that I was being bitten. The other time was a dog biting my fingertips. Now I’m interested in this…why biting? Perhaps this similarity is connected to a pattern, perhaps not. Worth keeping an eye on it and a thought hanging around.

I tried to manipulate the people out of trying to kill me. I plotted quickly as they advanced. One of the people I offered myself to sexually to try to avoid being killed, to distract him. It worked. It was boring and rather ineffectual sex and I ended up feeling frustrated because I wanted more pleasure, even though I was creeped out and scared.

Well, that was long. I doubt I'll want to use the energy to write so much in the future (or try to refine the clarity of my writing so much, gah), but this dream absolutely fascinated me and I felt reconnected to past dreaming experiences after dry spells and inattention. It woke the inspiration.

I think a big part of why it waned was nobody I shared these types of dreams with had similar experiences or seemed to want to dive in. But after reading some of the forum, wow, some of you not only have had similar but extensive experiences. Thanks for reading, I'm interested in learning from others on this site if you want to respond! That said, I also have a very skeptical side and enjoy critical and insightful discussion, though it is tempered by many other sides.

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