non-lucid

Last night I didn't wake as often, but I also couldn't time myself right to begin attempting at lucid dreaming. It seemed like I was just wide awake, not feeling tired, then suddenly bam I was asleep. I had quite a lot of dreams but only 2 I could fully recall.

Dream 1

I was at a large park in the hills near a deep forest, sat by a huge fountain. There was a rock formation nearby with a small path going behind it which everyone seemed to ignore since it looked like the path went nowhere. Then whilst nobody else was watching Randy Jackson came from behind the rock formation and asked me to follow him, telling me that Michael needed to see me. I followed him on a very narrow path that eventually led into the forest and there was a large clearing in the middle with big trees surrounding it and a huge treehouse complex on the surrounding trees. Randy showed me to one of the treehouse rooms which was Michael's room whilst he walked across a long bridge to another room which I assume was his room. I sat on a soft bed waiting for Michael to arrive, he was taking a shower. Eventually he came into the room having showered and dressed and was happy to see me, he had lots to say and lots of questions. He also wasn't just treating me like a random stranger but as if we knew each other and were already close. Then the dream ended.

Dream 2

I was in some kind of competition for making the best and most fun pinata. We were divided into 2 teams, a yellow team and a blue team. The yellow team seemed to be having problems breaking their pinata but it was making very pretty effects blowing out lots of glitter every time it was hit. The blue team however made a pinata that was more easier to break and more rewarding with each bash. Next we were to slide across a long plastic mat with loads of rows of goodies at the end ranging from small bags of sweets, chocolates, large bars of chocolates, and other small things that I couldn't quite make out. We were to grab as much as we could whilst sliding. We were able to gather way more than actually possible with our arms. I noticed at the end though I had only collected small chocolates and lots of the other small things whilst everyone else had large bars of chocolates so we attempted at trading each other what we had.

Morning of February 26, 2014. Wednesday.



Due to a bad cold (first one in years) I was “locked” into a tremendously long and epic dream that seemed to go on for hours. It was too long to post every detail, but will summarize a few more interesting scenes.

A treasure hunter and I go through several adventures in America, it seems, to get a map, a couple keys, and other devices that will supposedly allow access to treasures in at least two locations. The map seems to suggest that one treasure is in a “lost graveyard” (apparently tribal and in an Africa-like location) but there is also an idea it could be in a cavern or deep forest or even in someone’s yard (or possibly in the middle of a public street or venue in an urban area - which would prove to be difficult to get access to). We discuss the legends behind these lost treasures which are mostly old coins from another century.

Because of tentativeness and delay on the part of the other treasure hunter/leader, I get very annoyed (after a long tirade of verbal abuse on my part) and decide to go off on the quest on my own. The others give me all they have regarding a potentially successful outcome including an enhanced mapping of some areas. However, two others decide to come with me (over time, though, they eventually become lost, as I end up on my own again). The two others seem to be old male classmates, Roosevelt I and Ray G (whose birthday was just recently). They seem to reflect a sort of 70s style in dress and hairstyle and one reminds me vaguely of Flip Wilson. At this point, we seem to be going down the steps at the King Street boarding house. My denunciation of the supposedly well-known treasure hunter and adventurer seems to create an atmosphere that he is little more than an average person with no real interest in new discoveries or with any inherent bravery towards the unknown.

The areas I travel through seem to be very unusual in how they somehow connect as a whole and in other ways, are like several different countries (including Africa, Japan, Australia, and the USA), rather in intriguing incongruous clusters, reminding me a lot of Disney World in Florida or perhaps Busch Gardens (I have been to both places in real life) - or more like a combination of both. The detail is remarkable.

In a restaurant (at least one wall open to the outside), I notice a partial setup (not strong or large enough to walk or climb on - more like a staircase railing without the actual staircase) that leads out and up to a cave-like entrance near the ceiling. I discuss features of the area with the female (unknown) owner. Apparently, most parts of that area of the town (or large recreational area) is closed to the public for now. Still, I will find a way to go wherever I want and announce this fact when necessary.

There is a small building that represents a collection of shrunken heads and other objects. The outside of the building is painted in mossy greens and browns and 1930s style circus art. It may be a public bathroom in part.

I am following one of the security guards (female, unknown) to see if she will unlock a door whereby I can get to the next area. At this point, I am closer to the first treasure area. I come out in a hall and notice she goes through a doorway. I go through the doorway and notice a very fetid scent. It is the dung of a large animal - several piles are about on the ground. It turns out that I am in a mostly circular cage that arcs around much of the building section. A large male rhinoceros approaches, charging me. I punch it in the upper part of the face as it comes within reach, and knock it unconscious. An animal-trainer yells at the security guard for going into the building. I tear through the cage as if it was paper and am in a new area.

A mime (in a black top hat and minimal makeup) doing some sort of combination of acted-out, pantomime “magic act” (with no props of any kind) and incidental dancing, I decide to lift into the air with some sort of power of levitation by waving my right hand. He goes about twelve feet in the air, then I drop him. However, he is not only not hurt, but seems to have enjoyed the act, as if he will then have a much larger audience. (In fact, more people begin to watch him.) “Did you see that?” he yells (speaking for the first time ever in any of his acts) as people gather around.

There is a section that seems to be made of small concentration camps of about five different cultures, primarily African and Filipino, but also Brazilian, and in a seemingly ancient tribal state. (In afterthought, I am wondering if these were real concentration camps or some sort of crowded living display of the past in the “park”). I walk past the area and end up near the other end. All of the people of all ages are extremely crowded in an obviously unhygienic way - so crowded, in fact, they cannot move from whatever area they are standing or seated. An older man of about seventy in mostly only a loincloth (but with some arm-jewelry) is seated (in informal cross-legged meditative style) near the middle area of the end (and with mostly younger males, probably relatives) and I decide to offer my “magic” and help. (I seem to have the ability to manifest food and other things, I think, and to transform some things.)

“Magandang hapon po. Kumusta?" I go on to speak in some sort of mixed-up Tagalog and complex gibberish and he seems impressed in some ways that I know his language so well (recurring), but does not want any of my help or magic for the group of people he seems to represent. I guess they "prefer” to live as they do - overcrowded, continuously hungry, and poor (or perhaps not, but just the decision of one man speaking for all - which is not a realistic or fair way to look at things, even though fairly common in movie scenes and in some real-life situations). I walk on.

There is a large hill upon which is a thick forest. The place is “closed” to the public, though. It is not the area where the treasure is at any rate, though I think it may have potential. It is in the middle of more carnival-like areas and small restaurants, most closed for the season. There are old graveyards which are also park-like (recurring) but I do not investigate.

Finally, I come to the area where one treasure is supposed to be. It is not a graveyard, cavern, or forest as originally envisioned. It is an open area in town (a closed outside museum setup, I think, but a few security guards and maintenance workers are walking about) with a large old-fashioned 1930s commercial sewing machine on display. Oddly, it is hanging down to about six feet from the ground on a platform from a setup of cables. Using the map, I try to determine where the treasure itself is to be found. However, the features do not match correctly. The sewing machine has nine main features and the map outlines eight. Also, one device or key I have does not interact with or fit into any feature of the antique sewing machine. This means it is either the wrong location, or the map is fake. I look through the machine after pulling it lower, taking apart some of it, but find no gold or silver coins. A manager of the display seems very upset but I magically restore everything to perfection. There is a loud humming sound and a feeling of achievement and completion and everyone is glad nothing was really damaged.

Soon, either John Larroquette or Alec Baldwin (could never tell them apart) appears in black as a sarcastic villain/nemesis (or competing treasure seeker), almost reminiscent of Mandrake the Magician, showing two old and very valuable silver coins (from the nineteenth century, I think - not sure of the exact type) he had just found, speaking in a glib but somewhat childish and patronizing way - apparently worth the “ridiculous” amount of ten million dollars and apparently the target of one of the maps, though I thought I had the only one. He rubs them between his fingers. I believe one is (original value) a ten-cent coin and the other fifty cents. I have other things to find, however.

The main theme of this turned out to be precognitive (the usual, of course) or remote-viewed or “postcognitive” (or even related to group telepathy) or whatever you want to call it (“Universal Mind” is what I call the Source for the most part - always “playing” in my dreams since earliest memory, sometimes to the point of annoyance). As I was finishing the last sentences here (in the last paragraph), my wife told me (without knowing my dream’s plot) that she just saw something on television where someone found an old tin of coins (in the USA) supposedly worth ten million dollars.

In afterthought. A couple more things I have contemplated. It is likely that the location was mainly integrated with Disneyland in California, the state where the treasure was actually found. My dream was quite specific in the “eight features” (shown as compartments on the map). In reality, a news article says the coins were found in eight metal cans.

1. [Non-Lucid]
Sneaking into my Nans house to play a game that is hidden under the house in a sandy hole, so I crawl on in there and I'm underneath a panel with a mesh pattern with lots of little holes in (like a vent), then Nan walks in and stands directly above me, the panel creeks and sand comes falling from it (I also heard the sand), I freeze as to be as quite as possible, she walks away...phew.
Now I reverse crawl out of the hole and worried that I'll get stuck because its quite narrow, I see my Nans plasma Tv at the exit (The exit must lead into the living room).

2. [Non-Lucid]
Something in space on spaceships. Possibly a game.

-----------------------

Fragments:
Cold for some reason

Possible dream signs:
Nan

(2/24/14)

I don’t remember how I got here, and I’m pretty sure that 5 seconds ago I was somewhere else. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, in my room. But it’s not my room. The walls are brick and covered with various posters, the room small but cozy. Strings of round lights hang from the ceiling,, bathing the room in a soft yellow glow, and the bed is low to the ground and layered with blankets. Just how I like it. Something about beds reminds me once again that I don’t remember how I got here when suddenly my mom bursts into the room, startling me out of my confusion. I look at her, bewildered.
“It was a placebo.”
“…what?”
“You weren’t actually high. It was a placebo effect,” She says it matter of factly, like you might tell a friend you answered their phone for them. “I answered your phone.” “What?” “You’re mom called while you were in the bathroom. I answered your phone.”
“…Oh…” I say. And remember something about weak pot, but just as quickly as the thought has come it’s gone again and I realize I need to get going to class.

I stand and rush past her, just now noticing the sounds of car horns and busy streets filtering in form my window. I understand now that my room is made of brick because we live in the city. Walking down the crowded sidewalk I pass the remains of an old brick building maybe a little bigger than the size of a port-o-potty. Curious, I poke my head around the edge of one of the crumbling walls and see a man who looks an awful lot like Desmond form Lost sitting hunched over in the dirt, leaning against the wall.
Stepping forward cautiously I try to make out if he’s hurt.
“Hey,” I say softly “are you alright?”
He lifts his head abruptly as if surprised I stopped to talk to him. He looks a mess, hair tangled, face and clothes covered in dirt. His feet are bare too, and I frown as take in his disheveled appearance. He sees me examining his situation and holds his hands out revealing that he is chained to the wall where he sits. I’m appalled and I guess it was evident on my face because he shakes his head and smiles at me. And just as I’m about to tell him that I can’t get those chains off, he stands up and the chains just fall off. I’m staring in disbelief but the next thing I know he’s hoped up onto the crumbling wall and is looking down at where I stand awe struck.
As he stands there I realize he’s no longer covered in mud in dirt. His hair is fixed and his dirty clothes have turned to pure white, loose-fitting garb. He has an aura now too; shimmers around him like liquid gold and shines like the light of a sunset on water. I’m instantly calmed by his presence and know that I can trust him unconditionally. Part of me wonders if he is Jesus, standing before me here in all his glory. But then I remember this is Desmond I’m looking at and Desmond isn’t Jesus.
He smiles at me again, this time as if I am a child and he is showing me the world for the first time. I guess the open-mouthed expression of awe I was wearing gave him this impression. He beckons to me, then jumps off the wall. I step around the structure and follow him.

As we pass people walking down street, they don’t seem to see us. I’m not sure if it’s because this is the city and the people are used to seeing things as weird as glowing Jesus figures leading dazed college girls to unknown locations, or if Desmond’s aura is just acting as some sort of magic to mask our presence. Ultimately I decide I don’t really care either way.
I follow him until we reach a secluded boat house on a private dock on the water. He leans casually against the wall of the shed, then gestures out toward the ocean before him. On the Horizon, the sun looks hours form setting. I look at him again, he’s smiling that same knowing smile, so I look back out toward the water thinking there must be something here I’m missing. A strong breeze picks up, caressing my face and playing with my hair. Lifting my arms, I suddenly feel the desire to fly. I can feel the wind surging past me, and I imagine what it would be like to run and leap off the railing of the dock, taking flight against the breeze and soaring into the bronze sky. So soft I’m almost not sure I hear it at first, but then louder, a choir is singing a triumphant melody. Their voices are so strong and beautiful that my heart beats faster in my chest and my soul feels like its singing with them. It occurs to me in this moment that I have no idea where this beautiful and inspiring song is coming from and with a start, it hits me. Spinning around I turn back to the man. His eyes are twinkling now and I know it’s because he knows I’ve figured it out.
Turning back toward the swollen eye of the sun, I lift my arms and it feels like they’ve soundly sprouted feathers. Like Icarus. I know I want to fly, I CAN fly, because this is a dream, and in dreams you can do anything you imagine. So I imagine myself running straight off the dock and leaping into flight but then something Canus Lupis said in the pod cast comes back to me. “Before you go leaping off balconies and buildings trying to fly,” he said, “you should be absolutely SURE you are in a dream.” I falter. I know I am in a dream. I KNOW it. But if I leap out there and this isn’t a dream, then I’ll land in the freezing ocean and hitting that frigid water might just be enough to wake me up.
I chew on my bottom lip as I think. I know this is a dream, but better to be safe than sorry. The choir is singing so loud now that I begin to wonder if this inspiring melody isn’t coming from inside my soul. I feel powerful, indestructible, capable of anything. But decide that it wouldn’t hurt to do a breath check. So, taking a deep breath, I reach up to pinch my nose

And wake up in my bed.

(2/24/14)

I don't remember how I got here, and I'm pretty sure that 5 seconds ago I was somewhere else... But this doesn't seem to matter to my dream self—staring out the car window as we drive past farm after farm after farm...
"Where are we going?" I ask, eying my mother as she practically vibrates in her seat from excitement.
"You'll see," she says, and upon seeing the skepticism apparent in my frown, adds, "don't worry, you'll like it."
I'm not convinced.
We drive past another three farms.

About a minute later mom pulls into a dirt driveway for a rather rundown, two story farm house composed of rotted grey wood and just about nothing else. Sitting on the porch steps is my cousin Courtney. I'm surprised but pleased despite myself. Which is also surprising. I get out of the car and run toward Courtney who stands to catch my hug. She looks genuinely surprised as well, but also pleased.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"I heard you were having an event today so I thought we'd come support you," Mom says from behind me.
I take Courtney's hands in my own and whisper excitedly to her, "Will I be able to see all the pets that I've been liking photos of on Facebook?"
She smiles sweetly at me and squeezes my hands, "Definitely, they're all here, hanging around." She lets go of a hand to motion around her arbitrarily.
I smile back but can't help myself and my smile turns into a grin as I think that within the next hour I'll be frolicking with Daisy the deer and her two new foals. Courtney squeezes my hand once more then lets it go, successfully distracting me from my day dream...in my dream...
"If you'll excuse me," she says, "I have to go grab the things for the event."
She retreats up the steps and I turn to Mother expectantly.
"Courtney has been talking about this for months, whining and griping, trying to get everything set for it. I thought we should come and support her," She explains. I shrug. I'm fine with it. After all, if we make good use of our time I may have time to wrestle with Ringo the raccoon before nightfall. Though, somewhere in the back of my mind I know that there is a reason we don't visit Courtney more often. I just can't seem to remember what it is...
Courtney comes back with a box of dried leaves and tobacco paper, two other guys tailing her down the steps. One, I know, is her boyfriend. The other I come to understand as one of those sidekick type friends who is always hanging around but never really says much.
They sit down together on the steps and I sit down on the lower step in front of them, peering curiously into the box. Mother chooses to stay standing. Courtney takes some of the dried leaves from the box, rolls them into the tobacco paper, then hands to me what appears to be the last 1/5th of a self-rolled cigarette. It is... so tiny... I wonder to myself if I will actually be able to smoke it without burning my lips.
"...What is it?" I ask.
"Pot, " Mother says.
I look up at her, eyebrow raised. Her response is to gesture to the mini-joint pinched between my fingers. I shrug, put it to my lips, and Boyfriend gives me a light. I give the joint a pull and in a bright puff of smoke and light it disappears into oblivion. I blink my eyes, then exhale the smoke I did manage to take in.
Nothing happens.
"I've never smoked pot before. This is... weaker than I thought it would be." I frown at my empty hand, still confused as to what the hell just happened.
Courtney just smiles, then hands me another one-hit-wonder joint.

We all smoke and talk together, and after a while I feel a slight wooz coming on and my head feels light like its being filled with helium. I can't decide if I like the feeling. I realize I have to pee and Sidekick offers to show me to the restroom. He leads me to the second story of the rundown farm house, which is apparently a loft, and points to the restroom across the room on the far side of the bed. I use it, and when I'm done I exit to find Sidekick tapping away on the computer, obviously doing something that requires a reasonable amount of focus. Not wanting to distract him, and not really wanting to go back down to the others yet, I take instead to jumping on the bed. The bed is soft and springy and with each jump I am launched ever farther into the air. At first I think it's just the drug, making me feel light like a balloon, which is causing me to believe that I am jumping higher and higher. But when my hands brush against the peak of the A-frame ceiling I realize with a start that I really am 20 feet up in the air. As I fall I honestly believe that I won’t live to see another day. But with an, “oomph!” and the squeak of springs I hit the mattress and sit up, bewildered.
“Note to self, never do that again.”
“Probably for the best,” Sidekick says.
He stands from his spot in front of the computer and starts to make his way toward the door. I swing my feet off the bed to follow him but before I can stand up the scene suddenly changes and I find myself in another room, my own room, by myself, sitting on the bed. I don’t remember how I got here, and I’m pretty sure that 5 seconds ago I was somewhere else… But before I can pursue the thought further my mom bursts in the door and I’m pulled back into the dream moment as I turn to her, startled, and wait for her explanation.

Horrible night.
-I remember one brief dream which was only 10 mins out of the whole 8 hrs I slept. It had something to do with a mob of gangsters looking for me.

I've just started working in a shop run by two hara, training dogs, and I've been talking over a problem with the owner. The other har is someone the owner purchased, but I'm thinking you wouldn't get that impression from seeing the two of them interact; I think of him as aloof and 'leonine' and that he's 'best left to his own devices.'

There's two close friends who made some archaeological discovery many years ago, as a result of which, the choices they respectively made caused them to drift further and further apart. Now a girl's delivering a message to one of them, who has become a demon, informing him that the other is on his deathbed. He has only a mild response.

There's a woman looking at a 'falling star demon' - a spirit of a star which would have been considered simply a spirit when it was in its place in the sky, but a demon when it falls - and she refers to it as her assassin. The falling star is a sign of her own fate. I'm thinking about whether there are any choices to be made here, or which could be made at an earlier point in the timeline; any options other than her dying here and now.

I'm in this massive hotel/casino. I'm running through hallways and I know the security are walkie talkieing each other trying to find me. I turn a corner and see a security guard far down that hall so I make a turn the other way and find a elevator and the door for it is already open so I sprint in and quickly hits floor button 9. While the elevator goes I think about what floor 9 will be and whether it will be full of security, I hope it to be a casino gaming floor but I remember that floor 2 and lobby were the casino and game floor. When the elevator door opens it turns out it is a casino floor only for big adult business men in fancy suits, so I sneak passed them all to the back because the men are to preoccupied with those electronic table games. I get to the back and see a kid, I ask what she's doping here, she says she's hiding. I stand there and watch her play this electronic ping pong football game thing. The little football players in the table keep trying to catch the orange ping pong ball that the girl keeps hitting at them with a ping pong paddle and the little football guys looks super realistic. I point out to her that she's one a ticket on the side of the table, it's a beige ticket. Then suddenly the table zooms to the football stadium crowd and theirs this woman pissed at the girl and yelling at her to go over there and some how she does and everyone in the table are screaming so I just walk away with the orange ping pong ball farther back to other games. I see these 4 games all next to each other and they all say on it 5 quarters for one hour of play, or 1 hour per 1 quarter from 5 or something confusing as that. The games looked really fun because you could win prizes instead of tickets like all the other ones. I feel in my pocket and I only have 5 quarters, so I decide to walk on, but the last machine of the four starts talking to me telling me wouldn't I like a rubber spider and I was like not really but it through one at me, then it said wouldn't you like a furry pig and I was like kinda, so it threw one at me, and it asked if I wanted these weird hybrid animals and each time before I could answer it was throwing prizes at me and I worried that cameras would see or someone would walk up and see and accuse me of stealing, but then it stopped and I heard someone nearing so I took a backpack off my back and started putting them in my backpack, then a blonde boy with long hair asked me for help and I felt I got caught so I told him I won the pig, but he didn't care about that so I just said sure and followed him. We went around the wall that was behind me while the games was flinging shit at me. It lead to an opening of grass and sky outside I didn't question it. He told me he needed me to sit on the doom chair so he could play the game. I see all these huge games in a row and they need two people, one in it and one playing, like the one where someone sits on the seat above water in a tank while other people throws stuff at a target to knock em in the water, but this one is a electronic quiz game and every time an answer is wrong something happens, and above the seat is a sign with lightning lettering saying "Ah Hell No". So I walk up the ramp to the seat and get ready to strap myself in it, but I ask first what will happen and he says that each time an answer is wrong the seat will go higher and higher, I freak out and run down the ramp yelling ah hell no! And the boy looks at me sad but I don't care. Then some other boy gets in the chair and straps up and they begin the game, and the chair pulls him up high then flips him upside down and I watch shocked that its worse than that dick told me, now the kids just sitting there upside down and each time answer is wrong it whiplashes him up 5 feet and side to side.

I was really tired last night, too late up, a lucid just wasn't going to happen. I did the sensory excercises anyway for a bit, and I recalled one dream, not a fragment, but a complicated story, about moving house, and the people moving in were already here and I had no idea. Not really that an interesting dream, hopefully tommorow I'll have something better to post.

My house may or may not be a dream sign.

2/25/14* Quick entry, mostly notes to self.

Recent dream signs: trips, stars, deceased father in law (he's back!), ex's family.
Trip dream sign continues but perhaps too vague to trigger DILD. Image incubation for Scarlett Johansson showed some likely residual results the last 2 evenings. My daytime practices, for the most part, have been lacking. I was thinking the other day how Scarlett looks like my ex-girlfriend's sister S who I haven't seen in 25 years and what do you know, I talk to some of the other siblings for the first time that I recall in a dream...the two younger brothers especially and explain why we parted ways among other things and woke up with some sadness. It is odd that the DCs brought up by this thinking/possible incubation were those that I dealt with the least: the two younger brothers and the other sister M. Last night I got sister S who looks the most like Scarlett. This got me questioning the scenario and what would you know, here you go old standby dream sign - my deceased father in law I catch out of the corner of my eye and know that I am dreaming. I also hear my ex-girlfriend's father's voice as if he is about to come around the corner but then I wake up needing to go to the bathroom...too much water I guess. Stars dream sign present 2 nights back but also seemed to be residue from seeing Winter's Tale movie where stars are an integral part of the characters...gotta read that book! Also interesting that night was that I went back into a fantasy Winter's Tale themed dream after awakening from the first one and going to the bathroom and it seemed to continue to some degree throughout the night (I was focused on sleeping and not journal entries, oh well). 110

[This is my first ever dream journal post, Iv decided to start doing them, the intention is just for dreams i find particularly interesting or vivid and of course to record and lucid dreams i have, though i am yet to master it]

Dream 1:
It was morning and i was just getting up for college in my dorm room. The light was off and my roommate was still sleeping as it was early enough, im guessing 7:30 or so. I heard a knock on our bedroom door and glanced at my roommate who had her eyes open. I answered the door and a tall girl accompanied by a boy with a camera was there, she explained that they were taking pictures for our student union newspaper. I was in a hurry since had limited time to get ready for getting my bus, luckily my roommate got up and went to do it. Our curtain was open and i saw my roommate out on the balcony posing for the camera, except it didnt look like my roommate at all. She came back in after a few minutes and the camera guy materialized next to us, he had one of those big fluffy microphones with him too and he told us a bit about it.

[This dream was interesting to since it the first i have had (that i can remember) thats been set in my college apartment. Most of the dreams i recall are set at home.]

Dream 1
Not lucid
around 7:30-830.


I foundmyself at work at a resturant I didnt recognize anybody there but I seemed to be buddies with one of the people and was telling them that I was getting off of my shift soon and that I was going to head down to the bar down the road and get a few drinks. they seemed to understand so I went to the bar and waited around. While i was there I saw an old boss of mine and he walked up and was like great job tonight Jon! you did well its great seeing you again. I looked at him confused but smiled and said ahh well thank you! we chatted for a bit but I dont recall about what time went on and I saw my coworker come in and started to talk to him. While i was talking to him I started to play with some Starwars toys but I became part of it. We were fighting me (a good guy) and something that looked like darth vader. We had our light sabers out and were swinging around and I jumped off onto the falcon and it pulled away. I could hear my coworker like oohhhhhhh Darth vader buddy your in trubble now! You cant fight him way over there but watch out for his speacial weapon. As he was saying that I made my lightsaber grow to a great lenght and i knocked darth vader off his ship. I walked around on the ship with my buddy and some droid kind of people began to attack and I felt this rush of energy go past me i just missed an ultimate move from LUX from the game League of legends. I thought What was that? Well if they can use that so can i..... So i looked ahead and saw some people and used my move as well almsot hitting my coworker. I then woke up.

Another attempt to try lucid dreaming was a total bust. Tried to get into a comfortable position to be in as less pain as possible and not hear my own wheezing and whistling from my chest. My doctor said that because I'm overweight it's putting pressure on the lungs, resulting in me wheezing and whistling when I'm in a relaxed mood. It certainly doesn't help when trying to sleep on top of the tinitus ringing in my ears and acid indigestion from having drank a fair amount of cola before going to bed, and unending pain in my arms and hands no matter what position I lay in.

For a while sleep wasn't going to happen, I kept tossing and turning in bed and coughing, until suddenly I got into a very relaxed mood and felt I was going to drop asleep any minute. I began the slight finger movements, and my whole body started to tingle. I kept with it, keeping the mind clear as best I could. The whole thing must've lasted 20 seconds, maybe longer. Suddenly the body stopped tingling and it seemed like the room was getting bright as my vision was seeing white light that was getting brighter and brighter and my body felt a little like it was defying gravity. Did I make it I wondered. Already my question was answered, no I didn't. I could hear my husband snoring next to me, I could hear my breathing rattling, and the moment I raised a hand to pinch my nose I felt the stiff pain in the hand. I pinched my nose anyways, and definitely wasn't able to breathe through it. I had to settle for a standard dream again that night.

A few dreams came and went from my ever sleeping, waking and sleeping again pattern, despite that I'm on tablets that are supposed to have a sedative effect to prevent me from having disturbed sleep at night. The only one I could remember was that I was playing Final Fantasy 11. I was on my chocobo in Sauromuge Champaign with an alliance of people looking for HNMs. I was using a mod to tell me what monsters were around and was trying to find the new HNM that was there. I saw giant birds in the zone called Roc and shouted out excitedly "I found it, Roc!" "That's a normal monster now" said someone else. "Oh yeah, I forgot" I said as I saw yet another bird called Roc. I reached the area where the HNM spawned and saw lots of people in the area camping it. "I doubt we'll get this one, there's lots of people here, lots and lots of them" I said. "We'll try anyways" said another guy. "How do we get up there?" said another who used a person to person warp to arrive at my spot. "You'll have to go through Garlaige Citadel of the past and come out of that maw" I said, looking up at the maw above me on an unreachable ledge. Small baby elephants were spawning in the area and the other campers were killing them all. I was seeing new names appearing on my mod but I didn't recognise any of them. Any one of them could've been the HNM but I could barely see what else was going on besides small elephants and large birds being attacked by various people. The dream ended very shortly afterwards.

Morning of February 25, 2014. Tuesday.



I am in Cubitis, but there seems to be a division set at the eastern end of the carport that implies two different “worlds” or dimensions. It is an unusual scene. There is a repeating event where the living room, which is now some sort of (unknown) business office, fills up with water and drowns everyone and then dissipates. In fact, there is an unusual impression that this happens everywhere in the world around the same time (where all rooms in all buildings are suddenly filled with water) on a continuous basis. This is not related to any God or even to nature, I do not think; maybe some sort of impersonal universal cycle or an act of time itself. There is also a strange notion that mankind had never created or invented anything (or rather, this is how it is to be, little by little, upon each mass drowning and “reversal”); that technology does not exist, because people will not accept the experience of something in a dream (or of seeing a potential future) that they had not known in real life. I am not quite sure what the story is. Even the buildings look more primitive at one point. It is mainly some sort of cycle of man’s inventiveness being “reversed” and even the connection to the Source is being undone in most ways each time.

I later go into the backyard through the “gateway” implied by the east end of the carport. From that perspective, it is more like my real childhood family home in Florida and seemingly early afternoon.

I look up and notice large white egrets standing about on the roof of the carport. In the past, there were sometimes threatening implications with this type of bird (especially darker or larger herons) but these seem nonthreatening. It is likely mating season, as they are gathering in a group and seemingly doing “dances” for each other. Some of them are soon on the ground, as tall as I am, and I almost seem a token part of their group and rituals. I move about with the dancing egrets. There is a strange closeness and an almost sensual nature in the movements at some points. One bird even seems to be my beautiful wife for a time, in some sort of transparent harem-like outfit with sheer “wings” (somewhat cloak-like) pulled out from the side. A couple times I am clearly aware of how their wings are out and I am holding the wingtips as one would hold hands when moving in a circle or line. It seems very realistic rather than cartoon-like or artificial in any way.

There are eventually a couple more (unknown) people in the backyard. We go to the southeast corner of the yard and notice a few smaller birds and animals. There are a couple of skunks that are also sort of “dancing”, moving in somewhat of a zigzag pattern, remaining side-by-side. They are very small but with seemingly coarse fur and seemingly identical in appearance other than being indistinguishably male or female. We watch them for awhile. An old green arm chair is sitting at a random angle near the weedy area back from the train tracks. It may be a home to some of the animals. (In real life, a skunk lived under a refrigerator door in that area for a time).

The mood from the second part of the dream borders on bliss in contrast to the first part which seemed to relate that mankind “had nothing” or would never connect to the Source again to invent new products and such - even the idea of synthesis does not seem possible, as if the mind was only a cycle of repeating memory and nothing else - thus the human race cannot create, “solve”, or move forward in any way - which would eventually mean that even designing a new house would not be possible. There is a strange idea that the scene will repeat without the person having remembered being drowned each prior time (and seems to relate to the selective amnesia people develop with regards to supposed paranormal or unexplainable events). This may or may not be related to being “swamped” by paperwork and repeating the same (at least systematically) tasks each time in office work (except perhaps with less accuracy each time). However, there is also the idea that many people do not use their creative energies because of not truly believing they exist. The time period in the first section cannot be identified. It does not seem familiar at all.

25.02.2014

Molding Bread (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I made myself 3 open faced sandwiches (I guess that's what Americans would call it) for breakfast using bread from 2 different loafs. I grabbed one of the sandwiches to start eating it, when I noticed blue/greenish mold on it. I threw it away, disgusted.
For the other 2 sandwiches I had used different bread, so I figured they should be still good. I grabbed one of them to eat them but noticed that my fingertips had mold on them from holding the other one before. It was like powder and it was now all over the fresh bread. I was disgusted and angry and threw at all in the trash.