non-lucid

Morning of August 18, 2017. Friday.



I become aware that I am some sort of informal prison guard, yet I also apparently live with the prisoners, though atop a mostly featureless vertically-oriented rectangular prism with only a large mattress present.

The size-orientation relating to perspective is oddly distorted, as the prisoners seem only about one-fourth the size they should be relative to distance. I do not really consider this distortion as such while in my dream.

It is apparently my job, or at least my turn, to feed the prisoners who begin to gather far below. I have a large bag of chocolate Chex cereal. I throw down the pieces in small amounts as the prisoners gather to eat with their hands (as there are no bowls or silverware visible).

Looking around, I notice a prisoner casually walking out a main door into a hall. I do not call out or say anything, though I am not fully sure of the situation. An unfamiliar female guard notices this but does not get to them in time, so I assume that the prisoner has escaped. This seems to happen again later with a different prisoner who goes through a door in another area, perpendicular to the first.

In the last scene, a couple other prisoners are somehow atop the prism near me. I seem to be ready to sleep now. I feel the other male is a bit too close to me, but I do not say anything. He does not seem a threat, but his physical presence is somewhat intrusive.

---

This seems partly based on our youngest daughter accidentally spilling part of a bowl of Coco Pops Chex cereal onto Zsuzsanna from above and behind prior to sleeping. Zsuzsanna immediately got up to have a shower and there were Coco Pops Chex pieces here and there on the way to the bathroom and in the bathroom. Still, an additional association may be because they are somewhat cushion-shaped (as a subliminal dream state indicator). There may also be some sort of connection between “prism” and “prison”, as they sound similar.

Atypically, the personified unconscious seems to be the female prison guard - which is the opposite of the preconscious (though the unconscious does not usually appear to deliberately hold a dreamer in the dream state, which seems rather strange to me other than for circadian rhythms factors). This dream seems to otherwise move towards typical doorway waking symbolism (as did another dream of this date though also atypically), except that my emergent consciousness seems to be projected from a distance (“escaping” twice) due to my direct perspective (as the personified subconscious aka dream self) already perceiving that I am in bed and lying down atop the prism. Ambiguous multiplicity has occurred a number of times before in waking symbolism.

This is certainly not the first time I have been elevated above the rest of my dream’s setting, which simply means that I am closer to waking in a rendering of liminal space (often with increased physical awareness as in this case). In this case, it is even more obvious as I am already “back in bed”.

---

During the day yesterday I spoke with a girlfriend of mine about the consideration that have played on my mind in certain periods of my life of making sexual healing of women – a sort of glorified prostitution – a path in life. While the idea has remained relatively absurd to my conscious mind, the grain of seriousness has never really left my thinking.

Furthermore, I found during my self-love ritual tantric practice during the evening that my fantasies were no longer tied to Cecilie, but fluttered wide and far, though only with women. I recall that I was surprised at this, both in respect of finding a horniness for other women, but also in the release of attachment towards Cecilie as “the” sexual object of my consideration – as if I was freed from the shackles of having to commit monogamously to her to engage romantically and intimately, while also obtaining sexual favour.

My intentions were simply to remember my dreams, but I found it hard to fall asleep – which also led to a lengthy sexual practice prior to sleep.

Dream:

I am sitting on a train station. It is a small one, as you find in the country side. The weather is bright, though not scolding and there are other people on the station.

I am sat on a bench wearing a long trench coat. Underneath I am wearing clothes covering my upper body and nothing over my legs and genitals.

I am in a playful mood and as I watch out over the station across a hedge, I catch the eyes of a woman who is looking at me, smiling playfully. She knows “what is up” - which is really referring to my playful exploration of revealing my genitals, but which carries a stronger more direct meaning of explicit sexuality.

I look towards her repeatedly and she keeps returning the kinky mischievous smile.

Eventually the train rolls into the station, and after a brief evaluation if it is driving slow enough to actually stop, it does. The door opens and the woman and I get onboard. There is a slight distance so I rush slightly to make it.

Once onboard the woman asks me if I am a “blotter”, and I think I acknowledge, though it doesn’t take up much attention or time.

The woman now has turned into a composite persona consisting of Hanne – a Buddhist Lesbian – and Birgit – The owner of a toy shop I know very well from childhood.

We talk about her reasons for being on the train. She is headed out to receive attunement as part of her Buddhist ventures. On her lap she is carrying a printed text. On the cover is printed something along the wordings of “The fourth initiation, by Master so-and-so”.

I recall being surprised at this, as I thought there was only 3 levels.

I get up and button up the trench coat to make sure my dick doesn’t fall out and show by accident.

The main thing that grabbed my attention this morning was the number 4, which has been showing up in a couple of dreams recently. My initial interpretations and associations towards this was the 4 elements, the heart chackra and the wholeness of the quaternity in mandala symbolism.

I reflected on the homosexual nature – representing potentially suppressed desires or avenues of exploration, which I have carried out over the past couple of years with men, though not really fully – of one aspect of the composite persona – who in total is a woman, representing the anima or the collective unconscious – as well as the Toy Shop Owner – symbolising potentially a suppressed playful and animalistic aspect of my sexuality (I have recently spent many an hour talking about it in terms fetched from Tantra, such as divine union or simply as spiritual practice, which could represent a form of spiritual bypassing but also my desire to ejaculate in women – Cecilie in particular) though it could also point towards continuing the practice of using toys in developing my sexual skills.

My initial interpretation pointed towards a unification of my sexual nature with my Buddhist aspirations, where considerable conflict has recently taken place between sexual desires, as well as desires for family, intimate and romantic relations with the concept of renunciation of samsara to attain liberation.

What stroke me here was the sexual theme combined with the sacred scriptures combined with the symbolism of wholeness, pointing towards an active (playful and explorational) kind of integration between my sexual nature and desires with the quest for happiness and liberation. There is a particular focus on “going public” with this, represented in the “blotter” symbolism, which is greeted cheerfully by the anima, as a fruitful endeavour leading to a more enlightened place – represented by the scriptures and teachings.

Furthermore I reflected on the need to cultivate a more loving relationship – the 4th chakra, representing unconditional love - , not only to my own sexuality, but also the way in which I practice it with other people, women in particular – which now that I write it, is also represented in the recent dream of the “Bridge Elf” wearing orange and green, taking up 4 hours of journeying.

Looking through some of Jung’s work with sacred numbers in dreams and the Angel Number 4, some following additional interpretations occurred.

Jung also posits the number four as pointing towards “fourth function” - which is typically the repressed or taboo function – of thinking, sensing, feeling and intuiting. I am primarily oriented towards a thinking and intuitive disposition – making a mixture of feeling/sensing the taboo function. Feeling and sensing in this respect I see pointing both towards an acceptance of the more primal (non-spiritual and reproductive) aspects of my sexuality (represented by sensing, the physical aspects) and my desire, my right to feel, my wanting to take in a sexual context.

The Angel number 4 mentioned something around creating a solid infrastructure, focus in on an area of life where I want to hone my skills or reap rewards, or building a foundation of sorts. This has very much been a process as of late, aside from moving out and finding a new place to live (creating a solid foundation) I have also been focusing on trying to verbalise my competencies (dream analysis, shamanic practices and energy/massage work with my hands).

The immediate association here for me has to do with diving deeper into these three areas of my life. The vibe of the new place is phenomenal and now it is time – as in accordance with my priorities for the year – to focus on the stuff that can ensure a stable financial living. I have booted up the energy practices just yesterday – that also have a resemblance to the energy work of the tantric sexual practices. I spent many hours considering who I could approach to practice this work and also spoke with a friend about it.

In general I find myself elated with this dream, it is to me an encouragement in working in the direction I have been doing for some time. It is also a reminder for me to stop taking the shamanic work too serious and focus on what I really yearn to explore – sexuality – which makes me happy. It is not to neglect the hard work in store for both arranging practice with energy work, nor formulating the principles of therapy I am employing in my work with the sacred plants. I am curious to see how this theme progress – sexual exploration, continued work with stabilising the roots as a path towards wholeness and spiritual development.

2017, 08-17

Game of Dreams – Tears Falling

I am having dinner with my family. My dad and sister are there. It is a large table and there's a lot of food on it. My teacher is here. I remember her trying to teach me needlework. It was not very effective. So I'm sitting there and looking at mine, but I'm not really feeling very hungry. My sister is sitting several seats from me and she isn’t paying any attention to me. She is with her friend. I have the feeling that her friend is an asshole. My father says there's going to be a big tournament in his honor. He says he really doesn't want to have anything to do with it. It's just a big expense that the kingdom can't afford. My sister and her friend find the idea of the tournament exciting. She asks father if she will be able to go. Father considers and then says he will get both my sister and me good seats. I think it sounds stupid. I say I don't want to go. My sister says the tournament will be an amazing event, I'm not welcome there. Father is annoyed. He says he is getting sick of my sister and me fighting. He says we are sisters, and we should start acting like it. I'm angry at my sister. But for now I don't show it.

Father announces that he has no appetite, and then gets up and leaves. I look at my food, and it does not look tasty. I decide I have no appetite either. I get up. My teacher asks me where am I going. I realize that maybe I should be polite, so I politely ask if I may be excused. She says no. She tells me to clean my plate. I tell her to clean it herself. I get up to leave. As I go passed my sister, I pause to tell her off. I tell her that we both lost our wolves, but at least she knows hers back home and safe in Winterfell. My wolf is somewhere out in the wilderness and I don't know if she is dead or alive. Talking about that makes me feel like crying. I hurry from the room before my tears fall. I don't want anyone in there to see me cry. I hear my teacher behind me yelling at me to come back. I ignore her. I go running upstairs to my room. I go through the door and slam it behind me. It’s a heavy wooden door with a very satisfying to slam. There is no lock but there is a bar that I can slide down to keep the door from being opened. So I do.

Once I am safe in my room I feel safe to cry. And I do. While I am crying, someone comes up and knocks at my door. It is a hard and angry knock. And it is a not very friendly voice is speaking out there. A woman, my teacher, tells me to come out there in mediately. She says if I don’t come out immediately my lord father will hear about this. I don't care. I tell her to go ahead and tell him whatever she wants. She goes away. I open my clothing chest, and dig through it until I find a sward buried on the bottom. I think the sword out, I remember it is named Needle, and I start practicing with it. I am shit. I am in the middle of practicing with it but I am thinking about other things. I briefly considered going out the window and running away. Maybe I can find my wolf in the wild. I am thinking about that when there is a knock at the door. This time it is a gentler knock. And it is also a gentle voice that speaks. It is my father. He does not sound angry, he just sounds sad. That makes me feel kind of bad about my behavior. Anger I can handle, but disappointment not so much. He says he wants to come in. I raise the bar blocking the door, and open it. He comes in.

My father sees the sword in my hand. I had even thought to try to hide it before he came in. Yes it's me who's short is that, and I just see at night. He asked where I got it, but I don't want to rack out my brother so I say nothing. He says it doesn't really matter. He takes it and is looking at it. I have the feeling I'll never get it back. He wants to talk about things that of been happening lately. He says he doesn't like it when my sister and I are fighting. I tell him I don't really want to fight with her, but then I trail off. We talk about different things and I am close to tears again. And then it just all comes out, I don't even know what I'm about say untill I say it. I am crying as I tell my father that I had to throw rocks at my wolf to make her leave because I knew if she came back with me, they would have killed. The queen and the king. And I couldn't stand the idea of seeing that. I told her to leave and when she wouldn't leave I threw rocks at her. There be plenty of wild game out there for her to eat, and I do even heard other wolves out there, so she might even find a pack. My father seems to agree with my theory that she'll be OK out there. He says she was born to be in the wild, and she will surely adapt to it quickly. And she will certainly be the leader of any pack she joins. I am in my father’s arms still crying but it's stopping. My father asks me about the sword again. He asked if I really want to learn. He says I've got a wild streak, like a lot of others in our family. He says he will ask around and see about someone to train me. And then he hands the sword back to me. That comes as a surprise. He hugs me before leaving the room. And then I wake up.

2017, 08-17

Game of Dreams – A Knife in the Dark

Catelyn: I am in a room that looks like a bedroom in a castle. I am sitting in a chair beside a bed. There is a boy lying unconscious in the bed, I know he is my son, Bran. I am carefully feeding him a mixture of honey and water in a desperate attempt to get some hydration and nutrients into his body in a time long before intravenous drips have been invented. But this is too little I know, and if he doesn't wake up soon he'll... but I don't let myself think the word. I stop the feeding and hold his hand, little more than a skeletal hand now but still warm to the touch, focusing on healing him. I don't know if it's doing anything. A man comes into the room and starts talking finances. I don't care about money. He is also talking about positions that need to be filled because of people who have left town. I don't care about that, either. All I care about is Bran... I tell him to leave.

A boy comes in... this is my older son, Rob. He tells the man he will discuss the finances and positions to be filled tomorrow. After handing my son a piece of paper, the other man leaves. Rob is now talking to me about other responsibilities I'm ignoring. My younger son is crying for me, he's only 3 and he needs me, especially with dad away. He pauses and then says he needs me, too. He says he can’t handle everything all on his own. I want to turn to him and be there for him, but I have the persistent thought that if I let go of Bran's hand he will die. There is a commotion outside. Rob says the library tower is on fire, he will take care of it. He rushes out and takes a guard by the door with him.

Shortly later a man enters the room. I don't recognize him, but he is holding a dagger. He starts towards Bran and then sees me. He says I wasn't supposed to be here. I say that's too bad, because I am. Just what was he intending to do with that dagger? He looks at Bran and says he would be doing the boy a mercy, really. I tell him there's no way he is killing my son! He comes at me with the dagger. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and block his blow... but then I realize my arm didn't transform! Of course not... Catelyn Stark is not infected with the Mercer Virus! The blade cuts painfully into my arm. I grab his wrist with my left hand and twist it until he lets go and then I push him away, he falls onto his back. I am about to move in when there is a blur and then there's a wolf on top of the man ripping his throat out. Rob comes back and asks what happened. I tell him that the dead man tried to murder Bran with the dagger. Rob sees my arm and says someone should take care of that. I agree to that, starting to notice the pain more with the incident being over. I leave the room with Rob and then I wake.

Morning of August 17, 2017. Thursday.



I am in an unknown room with mostly only a large square wooden table. I seem to be in a movie that is being filmed in real time. Two other characters are Batman and Robin as from the 1960s television series. It seems we may have been kidnapped and are being held hostage. A couple unknown males are also present but I am not sure of any backstory. There are a few items in the room which may have been sabotaged. Batman and I mostly sit on the table at first while Robin is standing.

There is a point at which Robin follows my index finger in some sort of swaying dance to follow my lead even though I do not seem to be a main character in this movie, perhaps not even being filmed while Batman and Robin are. Still, I hold my right arm up, my index finger pointing upwards, and I move my arm side to side as if I were defining a downwards-oriented semicircle in a sort of pendulum-like definition or as if I am conducting an orchestra. It feels extraordinarily vivid though I am not lucid and it goes on for several minutes. Robin changes his facial expressions to apparently follow my cues as such. He is standing on the table and sort of half-dancing, half-swaying, seemingly professional but almost as if hypnotized.

At one point, Batman has an oversized pair of black squarish plastic binoculars. Like other items, I suspect that they have been booby-trapped by the Riddler or the Joker. He decides not to use them and puts them down on the table. I then notice an unusual bat come out of them (they seem to be hollow now), which may be venomous and may have bitten Batman on his nose if he had looked through the binoculars. The bat’s upper body and wings are like a bat, but the rest of it has the look of a silverfish, except it is all black. It crawls around as I notice this silverfish-like bottom part of this “bat”. I consider that it seems of very odd appearance to be a bat, but soon realize that it is likely of a particular species and so thus is not unusual at all.

Somehow, we all escape. I end up going out the back door of our present house into our backyard. I no longer see Batman and Robin. I notice three bats of mostly normal appearance to the left of the door and standing with wings out on the external bathroom window sill. They all appear to have Mohawk hairstyles. They are arranged in a triangular orientation, as if in the orientation of a water-skiing stunt, two on the bottom, and one on the top with a foot on each of the other’s shoulder.

I step out through our gate, though instead of the street view, it is an alley with a high wooden fence on the opposite side (which my dream self does not consider wrong). An astounding energy and vividness develops as the Batmobile goes by to my right, to the north. It looks like a far more modern Batmobile; like the V10 Lamborghini Batmobile. I feel fantastic enjoyment as I watch it pass, looking at all the details. There appears to be another car in front of it, about a car distance ahead, which I feel is an unmarked police car from the 1970s.

From here, a train passes from the north to the south. Near the other side of the alley are a set of railroad tracks. I am aware that this must be a scene from the movie to appear differently in the movie than the overall event is being seen. The train, which seems already half-destroyed, rolls on the tracks, rotating sideways as with the essence of a corkscrew or manual drill, as the tracks seem to be pulled to the south by some sort of machine, as parts of the train and what is left of it get smaller and smaller as it goes by, and the tracks being pulled along by the unseen machine until they are not present. I can vividly feel the vibrations in the ground in my feet and lower legs. I am briefly somewhat wary of this event being so close to our house (though I mistakenly perceive that it is close to fictional parts of our house to the south and it now seems I am looking out from a long apartment block). Still, I trust the movie studio knows what it is doing and I am confident that there is no threat at all.

---

From experience, this dream may be telling me that, in exactly one year (on August 17, 2018), I will be meeting someone who played Robin in a movie, possibly in a public place such as a shopping mall (or a wayward visitor to my front door). I say this mostly based on two features, one, the appearance of three bats, which relate to long-term precognition (and in fact appeared in a dream with several layers of precognition about Zsuzsanna long before I knew she was a real person), secondly, another dream character seeming “hypnotized” by me in an eerie dance and following my cues or influence appeared in the sole dream I had of Charlie Pride - and I met him in real life exactly one year to the date after my dream. I may be wrong regarding the dynamics of this dream, but it will take a year to see if it manifests as such. (Then again, concerning the presence of the three bats, it could be many years from now to the date as with my prescient dreams about Zsuzsanna.) So, if I meet Burt Ward on August 17, 2018, you read it here first (though it may prove to be a different Robin, as Burt is now 72 years old, then again, it might even be a different person named Burt Ward, hard to say with prescience sometimes being skewed).

---

1Am-7am
　Don't remember dreams
9am-1:30pm
　Insulted mage by making poop horse sculpture
　Taking care of fake baby that speaks in deep voice
　old home
　going through and under water tunnel
　taking a walk, old home burned down and people rushing to get out and away from burners. I take bike

16-8-2017

well...last night i set 2 alarms to try to dream multiple times, so i woke up on the first one just fine and wrote in my dream journal then went back to sleep, then my second alarm went off (it was 8:50 am) and i woke up, stayed in bed for a bit to remember my dream, then i got up and wrote it down then i looked at my clock and guess what! it was 11:30 am all of a sudden!

I didn't think too much as to how it happened at that time, but later that day, i noticed a DJ category called "false awakening" , then it hit me that that might have been what happened to me earlier.

i missed a great chance to get lucid, from now on I'll do a reality check whenever i wake up.

wish me luck

-1-The dream started out with everybody talking about plans to fly to northeastern Kansas, drive south to “Tukwilla,” drive south into Oklahoma, drive west along the border, north into Wichita, and go east from there and eventually and at the east coast. Meanwhile, I was looking at incredible shots of multiple tornadoes. The first shot was with 2 of them really close to each other, and the second shot was with 3 tornadoes each behind the other, all silhouettes in front of a sunset.
[New Scene]
The picture of those 3 tornadoes became three storm cells to the south of us in northeastern Kansas. It was during the night, and they may not have been tornadic, but I wasn’t taking any chances. I looked at the radar to see where the cells were going, and it looked like they would pass by the coming city way before we would arrive. Before we got to the city, a sudden hailstorm happened. A passing cell was dropping roughly quarter-size hail on the freeway.
[New Scene]
I was driving, and we(referring to family) arrived in “Tukwilla,” in southeastern Kansas. The skyline was beautiful, at least at night. It was composed of 7 buildings, at least 5 of which were standard skyscrapers, one of which was forgotten, and the 3rd from the left was pointed at the top. I wanted to take a picture, but when I did, all I got was the side of the van somehow.
[New Scene]
We arrived at a toll booth somehow. A dream thing happened where a broken, seemingly impassable, almost vertical path onward, apparently blocked by a tiny gate. Of course, it worked, because the car became a plastic tub and could be pulled through.
[New Scene]
We stayed at a house overnight. The far door opens to a junction between stairs, a living room, and another room with a PC in it. While on the PC, I googled ‘PS4 WiLD’ to see if there were any further announcements for the game.
-2(L)[WILD]-The first scene was the same that I left for the most part. I got out of bed, and threw punches at the window. This didn’t break it, so I opened it instead. Next, I stood on the patio on the west side of my house. I thought of using a rectangular force field to block any annoying family DCs from interfering with me. On the double doors I used a second set of green doors and locked them.
-3-There was a kid that ‘looped’ (this is unclear; his muscles kinda warped about and stuff) around 6pm every day. His mum said, “…it’s also the time that he’s open world.” (6pm-9pm, refers to the time that the kid is outside)
[New Scene]
Location: living room. Scene: DC[1] in a huge plastic tub with a cat sitting on his left knee; DC[2] sitting on the piano bench to my left; I am either sitting or standing in the computer room facing south; Forgotten DC sitting in the secondary rocking chair; no couch; pules of legos where the couch used to be; Dad sitting in the primary rocking chair. DC[2] had a gray wishing object, and he wished for something. Next, I decided to test the object as well. For the first test, I wished for one cat to like his sister slightly more. I didn’t see any conclusive results.
Lucid Time: 2-3 minutes

15-8-2017

today's dream was really vague but I saw kurosaki ichigo pointing his sword at me.
that was it but this is the 3rd time i see ichigo in my dreams, so that's a pattern that i gotta be aware of, and do reality checks every time i see him.

For some reason I was going to audition for a band. I remember riding with them in the back of a van for a while. When we got there it was a really rustic cabin with lots of strangely made guitars. They were all dark brown and not damp, but the whole dream was just dimly lit. I found one that looked like a telecaster, and started to try to play it, but it had pieces of dry wood glued all over the fretboard.

I was in a library and found a box on a bottom shelf with some weirdly faded money. I found more in a few different places and was hiding it, and trying to get away with having it. Eventually I was going down a gravel road and ended up wanting to go put it back since I felt bad.

Something about moving to North Carolina and I didn't like that weather was always the same. It was always blue skies and really pretty, never raining or any bad weather. It sucked but it kinda didn't. It was me and somebody else, and we were looking at the scenery, the trees and everything looked really nice.

1st dream - Starts as a flash back, It shows me in a abandoned cellar. There are two Other people the only person I do remember Is a girl from my school, lets call her M. Next scene M is at my house and my whole family welcomes her and the first person to do that is my sister than dad and mom. Now we are inside my parents master bedroom we start watching TV while eating cereal, she says "Why did you invite me her for?" I wanted to ask her if she LDs but I was to scared So I just make up an excuse and we start talking over TV. Later that day she leaves so I decided to watch YouTube somehow I come across a certain channel with 60,000 subscribers. I go to a video called "dreams" and M pops up on the screen talks about her many dreams and why she loves them. Next video is nightmares. (now at school we say many perverted jokes together so this the fourth video makes since) the 3rd video I don't remember and the fourth video was titled "boobs" . Also it was a ft. of someone else. After a while I get off YouTube, And get on google, and search how to be become lucid, but woke up. Which completely sucks.
(can someone tell me if searching something like that is a good sign to being close to LDing)
2nd dream - first of all I am a different person, I am in a war. One day I find a red hole that I can't look inside of. Then I have another flash back to another cellar which in there I murder someone. Now out of the flashback, I look at the red hole and jump in. The hole is a living thing I see its organs and blood and the only part I can be is this long stretch. I start walking I find someone else walking inside. It's the person I murdered. HE notices me and says hi like me trying to kill him didn't happen I'm extremely weirded out and say "I'm leaving" (could have become lucid right then and there but I'm not an experienced LDer so I didn't reality check) he says "don't" but Ignore him, Once I am climbing I look down, him "don't go" me "why" and I hear a sound and look up a white sand storm is heading my way "cause of that" me "ok... I'll stay" later we exit "man that was a fast storm", and head to my house.
3rd dream - fragment - I am in shadow of mordor again for the 3rd time (dream sign?) I go to this captain to kill him since he wouldn't be useful to brand, and he says "branding so many uruks has caused a glitch" I saw the glitch In the dream, but I don't remember what it was, but it was cool and I say "heh than I might as well brand more" end of dream fragment.

August 15, 11am-1:40pm
It was a bright sunny day and for some reason I can hardly recall the beginning of the dream. But I shall write the end and so
it starts. I need a chest, or one of them and they are all near the docks leading to the ocean. Two people behind me, I manage to find a chest but in my clumsiness I knock it into the ocean. I rush after it but it's already gone, luckily I see a chest sticking out under the water and slightly trapped in the sand. I grab this one, but slip and almost fall into the ocean which is just one deep drop down. There isn't a wading place to start from, it just starts at the deep end of the pool basically and gives off the look the the dock is a cliff leading down into the dark blue depths of water. I hang onto something, I'm fairly certain it's a wooden piece of the dock and as I'm dangling I grab the side handle of the chest and fling it up and behind me like it weighed nothing. Someone behind me scatters to move away from the falling chest and then they come help me, grabbing at my hands and pulling me up just as easily as I'd tossed the chest. So why did we need the chest, well to put something inside of course. Something special, but once it's been put inside by me I don't recall what it is. I don't have time anyway, out of the water crawls something looking like a child's K'NEX toy. It latches onto my head and I rush around like mad trying to get it off, it slowly takes control of me and soon me movements are from itself and not myself. It takes me near the dock, but then a friend swoops down in a helicopter of sorts and destroys it. I hop into the helicopter and strap in, the person is Lunif or a gaming partner and nice friend in my real life. Here she wears purple and another dark colour, she takes us above earth and then back down into a city area that's being attacked by something. It seems an alien invasion is at hand, to our right we see my brother's helicopter smoking. Lunif tells him to move and asks how he's taking so many hits, he says he's waiting for the last one but instead takes her advice and starts moving out of the way. But something goes wrong and he flys lower instead of higher, we see him spinning and slowly his tailpiece comes smashing into our helicopter's bottom. It rips and shreds, we scream and the whole bottom is take off and it's truly amazing our legs aren't gone with but we pulled them up in time. The shaking of the helicopter combined with my fear and the explosions wake me up. But atleast I did feel it that time, it felt very real.

August 15, 12am-3am
At my current home, really early and it was foggy. I felt like heading out for a walk and one of my cats came with me, my big grey fluffy one I call Jeester. Walking along I saw the blue sky and wispy clouds looking like someone was breaking them apart, it felt good out though and although chilly it wasn't too cold. I wasn't actually checking the mail, I was just going out for a walk. You could still see things but the fog was like a hazy mist infront of the eyes and much to the effect of blurry just waking up vision. I went as far out as the Cul-de-sac and the fog was thicker at the end of the road, you almost couldn't see anything.

Which is why I had to look twice when I thought I saw a figure down there near the stop sign, I squinted and did see someone approaching. It felt weird though, a slightly fearful vibe came sailing toward me and once I saw my cat start running I did the same without hesitation. Didn't know who it was or if it was a male or female, but I did know the fear increased and raised my heartbeat as I neared the front door of my current home. I rushed inside and closed the screen door carefully so I knew it closed and then kinda slammed the actual door closed and locked it. I didn't see my cat inside so I assume he hid, everything inside seemed to be normal as I took a brief glance around as though whoever it was might have followed me in.

When I saw it wasn't so, I calmed a bit but still felt wary and less protected on the lower level; I went upstairs and immediately woke mom up, actually she was already partly awake and did look sleepy even in the dim light. I tried calming down and telling hear but everything came out so jumbled because I was out of breath, I guess that running really did me in. Luckily I was able to get out, through choppy and gasping sentences, that it was foggy outside and I saw someone and ran back here with Jeester.

Mom seemed slightly in disbelief, but went downstairs anyway because she had to use the bathroom. I took a seat downstairs in the living room and noticed the curtain closest to me was open but not the other one further away. I guess someone had already but up and about before me, or maybe we didn't close them.

Anyway when mom came back she mentioned how I was right, it was foggy and felt weird outside. I nodded in agreement and looked to her for what to do but she simply sat down at her desk and although my fear had subsided at this point, I had no doubt whatever was out there was still there. At this moment C had awoken and came downstairs, mom had started writing and C went to the refrigerator to grab a donut.

I wasn't aware we actually had any donuts in there, but wasn't in the mood for food anyway. I just listened as mom said we should be saving them and then she wondered if they would deliver donuts directly to the house, I think the number she had in mind was 365. I guess her plan was to stay in the house until the evil outside was gone? Despite her repeating that we should save the donuts, C still took one.

It started raining very suddenly and then D woke up, he kind of got a half explanation about what was going on when he got downstairs. But he needed to use the bathroom so he took an umbrella and went outside in the rain and I stupidly stood near the door inside and shouted at the forest that "You better not touch him! Don't you dare hurt him!" I only just realised when D came back inside that the door and walls connecting the door had turned into walls of a ten and door of a tent.

Instead of thinking on that, I focused on hurriedly zipping the now circle tent flap closed while the rain sprinkled. It actually got jammed and I almost gave up but pulled one zipper up and one zipper down, that worked but now there was a gap at the bottom where the walls should connect the floor. The pieces tying them had come undone and nobody else in the house noticed the change, so I kneeled down and started tying them together while the wall caved in slightly like the tent walls do.

Outside my cat saw and hopped on my back, further making the task difficult and further bending the tent wall in on me. One might think this would make me aggravated or annoyed but no, I simply adjusted my position and got back to work. I suppose I was feeling much more secure and confident now that everyone was awake, even if they weren't helping or seemed to care. So when I saw someone's legs and looked under the gap to see a slightly chubby lady striding toward me with a word on her shirt, I immediately didn't run but instead thought she was Athena.

She wore a skirt that went to her knees and flowed out a bit, it looked plaid but wasn't and was actually more grey. Her t-shirt was a pink colour and as she came nearer the word Athena came into view on it, I immediately felt more confident even though it looked like the A on the end was blurry as though I had put the words there. Her rounded face complimented her apple shaped body and chubby thighs did not hinder her back straight walking. Her hair was brown and not super dark but slightly dark brown, it was just past her shoulders.

When she stopped near the house, I gently pushed my cat off my back and crawled under the wall through the gap I'd been working on, to approach her. I said what my min had been running through about three or four times by now, "You're Athena aren't you?" She didn't smile because she already was but she did throw a kick my way, which surprised me and I jumped back. I might also note the rain had stopped at her appearance. I came closer and said if she wanted to fight we should do it away from the house, here or where I pointed my finger which happened to be the path leading to the shed.

She walked there and I started bouncing on my feet and put my arms up like a boxer knowing I looked quite ridiculous but really not caring at this point. Then, when I thought she was going to make a move I stopped her and said I needed to use the bathroom first. Pointing infront of the car that was pulled up near the front of the house, I said she could wait there and then we'd fight. She walked over there and then I spun back around and repeated for her to stay there until I come back, I'd be fast. I suppose I felt a little like she wasn't there and my disbelief made me think she might be gone when I come back, so after my repetition I went to the bathroom and used it very quickly.

When I came back to spot, I saw she wasn’t there and doubt came to my mind for a fleeting moment until some little ways off I saw her. Sitting down on what appeared to be a bunch of garbage, but as I came nearer I realized it must have been something like clothes, it really looked like pressed together shirts. Anyway she had a fire going, lit all around her but a small opening left open for a metal place where meat was cooking. To her right there were a many dead corpses, animals rotting in the sun and waiting for their flesh to be ripped from the bone and cooked to perfection. They mostly looked like lizards of various shapes and sizes, mainly small; though one did look like a baliwog from Oblivion’s Shivering Isles.

After a while of me admiring or rather studying the dead creatures beside her curiously, she got up and pulled a piece of the cooked meat toward herself; cutting off the top greyish part which looked to be fat, she skewed it on a knife and started eating; I saw a knife near mine and decided to copy her actions, except I also had a fork come out of nowhere so I used it. Amazed at the flavour of fish with chicken, I ate more until I had finished about a quarter of it, not much considering it was atleast larger than two of my hands side by side.

I never got to eat the rest because a noise interrupted us and we both turned our attention to the clomping sounds coming from the end of the road out of the cul-de-sac. In the distance it looked like just a blur but Athena said it was Hades, I didn’t let that worry me so much sense she was so nice I imagined he couldn’t be too bad.

But just then I also closed my eyes and saw what looked to be the top of a fanfiction story, the tags in it had Hades, OC, and The Goblin King; it was then that I started freaking out a bit and stated outloud that, that was impossible and he shouldn’t be here.

Athena started running toward the cul-de-sac and I followed after her, the whole mess around us had vanished as though it was never there to begin with and I assumed we were running from The Goblin King behind us but we were also running toward Hades which to me didn’t seem that great but Athena split off to the left anyway and in no time, I found myself trapped between two taller men. It was actually terrifying for me and as I listened to them confront each other, I realized I was the object of their raising tones and that they were arguing over who I was claimed by.

Which in any other case might have seemed funny to me, but in the position of sitting between them with my legs at the side and looking up to them I felt small and powerless. Looking up, my view was limited to their crotch which wasn’t helpful when I wanted to get up and shout in their faces. I did try to say stop but my voice seemed to be drowned out in the whirlwind of their shouting match, which sounded quite unique and almost funny considering their different voices.

However it still wasn’t pleasing to hear that I had become an object to be disputed over in terms of ownerships; my emotions here were a mix of feeling kind of safe near The Goblin King and feeling kind of frightened of what they might do especially if it turned into a physical match.

After some time of them pretty much spouting the same stuff back and forth and me just hunkering down between the small space they left and they tried to walk closer and get up in each other’s faces, I found myself briefly tied around the legs of Hades and I struggled to escape the rope bindings that had come out of nowhere to ensure my futile attempts of escape would lead to nothing.

But I found I didn’t need to struggle, for I was soon released of them; however as I crawled away I found myself bound again in the same form except to The Goblin King’s legs. It was making me feel claustrophobic, luckily it didn’t stay that way for long and once again I was released; although this time I found myself gasping slightly, I needn’t have worried what would happen if things got physical though for in the brief seconds I was released I awoke and heard their bickering no longer.

Note, The Goblin King wore grey lower garments and white shirt, brown cape, Hades wore black pants and t-shirt and he had this short curly hair that was slicked back behind his ears.

Early evening of August 15, 2017. Tuesday.



I am in an unfamiliar unknown setting, though it is implied to be a room in our present home. There is an unfamiliar tall chest of drawers against a west wall. It has a pale wooden design. There are five drawers.

Atop this chest of drawers, in about the center, is a gumball machine. The main concept is that this feature is somehow able to manifest new items in any of the drawers at certain times, more so, every drawer simultaneously, though this materialization of items like new clothes, comic books, paperback novels, games, perhaps even food items, still seems based on needing to insert a coin in the gumball machine.

I am vaguely aware of the events and the materialization, though I seem to be aware of seeing events as simulated without being directly involved, as the drawers open and close on their own a few times. I am wondering how many coins I have to activate this machine. There is no backstory or indication on what will materialize at a specific time or how to specify what one wants (though perhaps it is based on which coin is used). It may be thought-based, as such a dream implies non-lucid dream control as it is.

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