non-lucid

2017, 09-05

Meeting With Metallica

I am at my old school campus. This is the ITT Tech building, but I know that school closed up. The building is not being used as a school right now. There something else going on. I think I have won a contest maybe, and I am here to collect my prize. There are a lot of people at the school, we are all going between rooms as if on a tour. There are various things set up in each room. Some of them have food available, and others have music displays. In one of the rooms I pick up piece of chocolate pie. The feeling is thick enough that I can just pick it up with my hand. I do that. There is regular crust, chocolate filling, and chocolate slivers on top. It is tasty.

In another one of the room is the main prize. The band Metallica is there. I have won a meeting with them. This is really cool. I meet with the band and we chat for a while about different music that we like. They said something about a new album coming out soon. I can't wait for it. Then the band presents me with a surprise part of the prize. It is a custom made guitar. It doesn't look quite like most of the others I see, but it looks really cool. All of the band members signed the guitar. That is so cool. I can't tell them enough how much I like it.

I see now I will have to get to guitar lessons to learn how to play it. I get my first lesson ever from Kirk Hammett. That is so awesome! They only have time to show me some basics, but it is still awesome. I start practicing what they showed me right away. This guitar is so cool that it even makes me sound good. I go outside the school. I guess my mother brought me, because she is out there. She wants to see the guitar. I said this has been so awesome. We are getting ready to head home, but I wake up.

Tower on Fire

I am in an apartment. I have the feeling it is my apartment, even though I don't live in an apartment in my waking life. I also have the feeling I just moved in recently. I am still trying to get things organized where I want them. I am getting it set up pretty well. It is night time out, but I see a strange light through the window. I go over to the window and look out. I have a nice patio area outside. I am on one of the upper floors, though I'm not sure which floor. But it is close to the top of the building. As I look outside, I see that there is a building on fire. It looks like the building across the street is on fire.

I should call the fire department, but for some reason I go outside instead. It is when I get outside that I realize it is actually another part of my own building on fire. I look down off of my patio at the building below me. I see that is on fire, too. My first reaction is to be annoyed that my apartment and my stuff will get destroyed this soon after moving in. Then I think about my kitties. I am worried that I may not be able to get my kitties out in time. I am not sure what to do. First thing, I need to call the fire department. But instead I am looking for my kitties. I have lots of kitties. I find one of them sitting on the couch. This one is a silver tabby cat. I pick up the kitty and pet her as she purrs. I am wondering where the others are, I don’t have much time to find them. But I wake up at this point.

For some reason I'm playing Pyramid Cave with Knuckles on my Wii (With a GameCube controller). The stage is essentially a large halo around two bottomless pits. One in the center and one surrounding the outer perimeter of the ring.

I'm gliding around the stage, and this one gust of wind keeps knocking me into the bottomless pit as I attempt to speedrun the stage. I eventually get fed up and hop into a yellow toilet with Knuckles still being in control.

The perspective then changes to first person as I (In my dumb, dreamy state) am holding a GameCube controller in my hand; now controlling Gamma from Sonic Adventure. I'm in a yellow, empty sewage pipe and I'm walking from one side to the other.

After reaching a dead end, I then decide to turn back where I came from. An air of uneasyness bestows upon me as I look around every corner, as if I was imagining something was gonna jump out and scare me. Gamma disappeared at that point and I was there, alone, in the sewer pipe.

I make it to the end of the pipe (Where for some reason there is a broken down toilet inside a stall and an unused sink next to it.

My mom and her 'friend' (Who didn't exist in real life but was just a DC) then open a door. I then breathe a sigh of relief. They start talking to me about something, but I go back out through the door, where the dream then ended.


Notes

1. I seemed to have a dreamlike acknowledgement of the dreamscape. As I feared something would pop out at me because it was a dream and all part of my imagination.

2. The color yellow was very much prevalent in the dream. Everything in the sewer was yellow, except for the one puddle of water I stepped in.

I decided to take a nap since I was still tired and managed to get semi lucid. Even though it was...very short.


I was looking at the bed thinking about falling asleep when I noticed a roach on the bed. It made me think of how my dad was talking about bed bugs the other day which scared me into believing it could possibly be a bedbug. (Even though we dont have any) Unsure of how to kill it I slowly put my hand next to it but it didn't move. I than tried shooing it away more aggressively but the bug did not move an inch. That's when I though "Okay, is this bug just not scared or is it not real and i'm dreaming?". That's when I decided to try and see if I could get the sensation of my feet moving from WL as a reality check. I felt some dirt get on my feet as I experimented than noticed my feet was becoming see through."Yeah, im dreaming. But is my feet moving in WL?"I thought. I than woke up to hear my dad calling me. I also realized my memory of my sleep position wasnt correct since I was sleeping on the opposite side.

September 5th
2am-6am-10am
1. Old home, drag guy along so I can see a remodeled part of the neighborhood. Once I get there I get a frightening feeling and start to shake as though I remember something, wake up.
2. In current home and guy comes in saying he wants everything in here, so all have to go but I grab a plastic bag and stuff tons of makeup kits, jewelry stuff and others in it. Something about taking care of a baby, jumping onto a ship. Getting caught between fire and going with a lady to hide.

I was in elementary school again. My class was taking an exam. The exam had a weird perk where you had to submit the test within a composition notebook. I didn't have a notebook with me. So in the dream, I thought that maybe I would have one in my locker. I go to my locker and enter the combination that I somehow knew: 65 45 11.

Two significant things about that combination:

1) Master locks only go up to 39. There can be no 65 or 45 in a combination. Yet in the dream world, the lock had those numbers while still maintaining a normal sized dial.

2) That combination. I had written it down in my dream journal a while back. I had made it up. For it to just appear in my dream and be of use is very intriguing since I am in the business of trying to master dream incubation.

The locker opens and I have two composition notebooks inside, one blue; one black. I recognize these immediately yet I am not lucid at any point in the dream. The black one is my regular daily journal tracking my fitness and meditation practices. The blue journal is my physical dream journal in supplement to this on DV. I think to myself that I am not giving the teacher my blue journal because it has some embarrassing dreams in it, so I give her the black one.

That's all I remember.

Rant time.

Why is it that I dream about everything except the one thing I incubate to be dreamed about. My hypothesis is that my mind does NOT understand what a dream is exactly. It only understands real life and tries to replicate that. Perhaps why I can dream about Donald Trump with no incubation required mostly because I was reading articles about him the previous day. Yet, trying to summon a specific dream character after 2 hours of visualization exercises seems nigh impossible.

My second hypothesis is that I can and will ONLY dream about persons,places and things that I somehow have a waking-life interaction/attachment with. So elementary school mostly. But why elementary school? Why not middle school? Why not high school or more recently college?

If we dream about things we have a strong emotional attachment to, why not dream constantly about high school; a time of great emotional distress for me?

Dream 1

I was viewing the park as my view panned. Someone next to me pointed out how many people were present to have picnics as I watched.When I woke up I realized I was dreaming for what seemed a short amount of time.

Dream 2

I was living with another family and trying to help a girl who was trying to figure something out about herself. Near the end we started talking about languages and for some reason I wanted to bring up the indian language even though I know nothing about it.

Fragment: I was running a lucid dreaming podcast. I had been offered a sponsorship to sell something called lucidi-tea, but I didn't want my subscribers to think I was a sellout.

NLD 1: I was third person watching a dream-movie. It was about a little girl who moved with her parents to a spinach farm in germany after world war II. The farm was originally owned by a very kindly old man that the girl had known since childhood. The farm was built in a breathtakingly beautiful mountain valley. The old man said that there was a secret room in the old barn where he kept these magical creatures, and that he wanted the little girl to watch over them while her parents took care of the farm. [they had a name but I forget what it was]

The girl went into the barn and there were about a dozen or so of these living-teddy-bear like creatures that stood about two feet tall. They could talk (in an extremely ear-grating high pitched tone) and walk around. Each one had a distinct personality. When she walked in most of them started saying they were hungry and that the girl should feed them. But one of the creatures managed to trick her into spilling a huge bag of food pellets into their pen. The girl was called in for bed before she could clean up the mess.

This led all of the creatures eating way more than they should have, and when she returned the next morning they were all lying around with distended stomachs and complaining of stomachaches. The girl got upset because she felt she was failing her responsibility though I remarked to myself something about dumb story contrivances.

The scene changed to an evil cartoon rat sneaking around in a pipe under the barn. He said something about leftover weapons from WWII that he could use to wipe out the magical creatures once and for all.

-+-

I did a WBTB

NLD 2/Lucid:I landed in a generic high school dream. I was in a math class. Some false memories about how I was a senior in college yet had to take remedial highschool classes. *shakes fist at false memories* The teacher was talking about class periods then allowed us to go to our next classes.

I remember the teacher had some kind of action figures on her desk and I started playing with them but I managed to break one. I felt bad, but didn't confess that I had broken it. I vowed to sneak it home, hot glue it back together and sneak it back into her room without her knowing.

I was heading outside back to my car when I realized I was barefoot on one foot and couldn't find my other shoe. I spent several minutes searching the school before finding a mismatched shoe in a locker. I also saw an old bully from middle school but didn't have an interaction with him.

When I got outside it was snowing and the middle of winter. I headed outside to my car only to find it up in a tree; presumably because I wasn't registered with a parking sticker. A teacher came running outside; a different one than before and told me I had a project due at 4:00 and it was 3:56 right now.

I looked around at the environment and saw my one shoe was missing again. I saw the first teacher as well as the bully approaching me. I got confused at the location of my car because it was now sawed in half. Lucidity hit me like a sack of bricks. The moment it did I was struck with extreme frustration and shouted "That's enough! You've gone too far". When I did a white energy bubble expanded out all around me, similar to the ones I've conjured with my stabilization command, turning the two teachers and the bully character into dust.

It melted the snow and cleared the clouds within it. However the bubble seemed to lose momentum and eventually began to contract back inward. I attempted to remove the bubble to stop it from contracting and it burst with a horrendous screeching sound, a bright flash. The bubble contracted in to a point directly below my feet, then blast out to a shockwave with a gong like sound that shook the entire dream.

The effect was insanely cool. It has replaced the snowy and drab dream with a lively meadow, replacing the cars, parking lot and part of the school, cutting off at an abrupt boundary about 50 meters around me in every direction, slicing cars and the school building cleanly off where the border of the bubble had been the moment I had removed it. Looking to the sky I saw a permanent hole in the clouds where the sun beamed down.

I began hovering above the ground. I saw one dream character who had been within the bubble yet not affected. I recognized him as a character from an RP I had done awhile ago. I turned to him and said "Hey". He looked at me, obviously awe-struck at what had just happened. He just responded with a half-hearted "Hey" in return. I looked around and saw dream characters within the school looking out at the boundary between the two dreams, amazed that half the room they had been standing in had vanished.

I noticed the dream began to break down. I figured I had essentially broken the dream with whatever I had done/tried to do, with the dreamworld lodged in a state of partial transformation between one scene and another. Glitches and cracks began to appear everywhere. I saw a car repeatedly copy itself with each copy appearing slightly higher than the last, forming an unendingly high stack of red automobiles. I saw a dream character near the border truncate and his head expanded to 10 times the normal size, while another began to flail wildly through the air screaming.

I looked to the sky and saw the sun was replaced with a galaxy spinning rapidly. I looked down and saw the same galaxy translucently through the ground. I thought the dream would end but I looked at the galaxy for a minute and all other scenery faded. Eventually I did wake up, but it took a very long time.

I watched a very VERY 90s video that came out in 1999. Don’t remember what was in it. Later, I was in a familiar place on a scooter. It was the top of a hill, so I coasted down while applying brakes. At the bottom, I kept my balance and didn’t fall into the water. I still got a little wet, almost damaging my phone. Other than that, it was a fairly forgettable night.

Created Monday 04 September 2017

Got that WILD/DIELD chain to note, and a fragment.

Scrap Group 1
Using a chat client for some old multiplayer online text-based game. Noticed several users were participants in this season's contest. At various points, there were some disturbingly hostile comments thrown my way. I woke up thinking I'd lucidity at some point, though I remember nothing of the sort.


Meditated for 20+ minutes as part of a WBTB, then made a WILD attempt. Yet again, I had to endure two hours of insomnia before I got sleepy enough to transition.

Dream 1 - Summer-ish Lucid Competition - Day 3

Scene 1 - Restive Rolling
WILD transition just after being stuck in REM Atonia for some time. I rolled off the bed, with difficulty due to exhaustion, only to wake up immediately for a brief moment. This repeats for a confirmed total of six times, along with numerous other unverified instances or outright false awakenings.

Between these were a few non-lucid false awakenings. One of these had me get up for a snack, and another involved my sister requesting that I take her daughter to a doctor.

Later in this cycle, I float around the room for a few seconds, until I was tugged back on the mattress. After that, just as I rolled off into the Void, I saw vivid gameplay footage of Street Fighter Alpha 2 presented before me, this depicting a simultaneous 2v2 battle between Ken, Charlie, and other unidentified characters. I hijacked the game by pretending to use an arcade stick, but I lacked the dexterity to do much. Regardless, I quickly lost interest, as I did such things just yesterday.

Once I was less fatigued, I called out to my guide, E, various times. I heard her voice almost instantly, though with bad "reception". Took a minute for her to have more presence, heard clearly but still unseen. I requested her assistance in getting me anywhere else, and also to maybe get some tasks done. In lieu of that, she chortled and babbled loudly, as if to purposefully ignore me. Worse yet, she played mischief, doing things like tossing me around, painfully locking my limbs, and gnawing on my sides in a most uncomfortable manner. How annoying. Still, I called for her after another brief awakening, and again asked for help. This time, she rolls us both off the mattress and to the Void.

Warp.

Scene 2 - Descent, Discipline, and Disorder
The visuals were dim and a bit blurred. I was falling down into a vast chasm along with E. By that point, she'd manifested in her giant naga form. This time, she appeared thinner, had only two arms, and had her hair styled in a pageboy cut. I quickly seated myself on her head and held on. Jagged stalagmites awaited us below, so I slowed our descent at the last second for a safe landing. Exhaustion caused my perspective to wig out a bit for a moment. Anyway, we didn't get too far when my guide alerted me to danger, pointing to the silhouettes of small, monstrous figures creeping ahead. She implied that I not stick around as she dealt with those things. I heeded her words, and jumped far away from the action.

After scouting around, I found an opening leading above. I climbed up to find a "highschool" classroom, of all things. "Highschool" in quotation, given the "students" seemed as TV actors playing the part. The teacher, a middle aged African descended woman, had trouble getting the class' attention. Such disrespect didn't sit well with me. Once I had enough, I bashed the loudest, rudest guy in the room (some blonde twenty-something year old), and continued assaulting those that were even remotely disruptive. Rioting ensues. Noticed music in the background, some old unknown country tune sounding from a record player. I timed my attacks to its rhythm, including a groin punch to that first victim, followed by a knee-breaking elbow to someone trying to flank me.

Minutes later, I inexplicably transformed into King Piccolo from Dragon Ball. I conjured a flag and pole in hand, then, acting in character, I claimed the structure, along with the souls of any who died (as improbable as that was). I then unwittingly turned back to myself just as quickly.

The brawl had all but quieted down by that point. Heard Moonlight Bay was playing. I was about to sing the last verse in celebration, when some random people, my brother Jonathan included, randomly showed up to join me in chorus. My brother was awfully critical of my vocals. So, I tried correcting it, only to receive more vitriol. What's more, he refused to identify what the problem was exactly. Was it tone? Timing? Give me a hint, man! And yet, when I then performed exactly as before, he found no obvious flaws...

This fickle judgement made me too irritable to focus, and the dream ended.

So I am with this girl in my car. Nothing sexual. Just sitting and talking. There is this inflatable mattress thing in the backseat which I know is a bomb. The bomb activates. I usher the girl quickly away from the car and into a nearby building. I am panicking because the bomb is going to blow up my car in a parking lot. Because of my ethnic background, I know in the dream that once that explosion happens and they inevitably identify me, I will be on the news as a terrorist.

So my next instinct is look for another girl that I somehow knew in the dream world. Her name roughly sounds like the word "Heylmun". She is a black girl I actually knew from high school under a different name. I frantically plead with Heylmun and ask her if she still had/knew the time travel magic that "we used to save [can't remember her name] back then." She affirms she does. I am a bit relieved. My hope is go back in time and stop past-me from putting a bomb in the back of my car.

Some time in the dream passes and I hear the car explode outside the building me and Heylmun are in. A crowd gathers near the windows to see flames and gasoline spewing everywhere and on other cars. The televisions in the building come on reporting on the incident in no time.

I run back to Heylmun and ask her if she has any "hiding places" for me to lay low while she gets the Time Travel Magic ready. She says yes, but first she needs my phone number. I give it to her. She gets two numbers mixed up much to my frustration and I have to correct her.

-1-There was a weather forecast on for snow in Washington. In the northern islands closer to Canada, the TV meteorologist had no idea what was going to happen, as apparently 60-80 inches of snow had once been recorded there.
-2-There was a challenge to drive on every road in Washington. This eventually turned into a race to somewhere in southern Canada, starting from Kansas. We had to check certain homes and evacuate them. Some of them were extremely hostile, even getting their dogs to attack me. There was another person that tried to steal my car. That didn’t work without the key.

A monster that seemed like he was made out of blanket material and energy was telling me jokes and trying to get me to fall for a trap. But I was always one step ahead of him and it ended with him being destroyed. There were dogs in the dream too but I forgot what they were doing.

I've been with N again , in some sort of unstable and surreal space , a part of it was a house , a street was there maybe?
in this dream I ended up meeting her . She was with her brother, sitting somewhere, talking about things and looking at stuff on a phone.
At a point she notices me and we try to communicate silently so his lil brother doesn't notice me. It would be too much of a bother to explain who I am.
Then I woke up. The dream was really unstable, i kept popping up at a roof then anotehr place.

It was really N, the vibe or the energy she gave off was unique. But her expression was empty, like if she still sleeps and are barely cosncious of whats happening.

My lucidity was risen a bit when I first saw her, but I did not become lucid in the end.

September 4th
2am-8:15am
Non LD + LD

1. Running to an area, I get to it by breaking doors in and others behind me try to give chase and catch me before I discover the secret. Once I get to the area the secret destroys me, I feel like the whole world has been let down. I think the secret was some device made to save humanity but it turns out they’d never been working on it.
2. Children running around current home at night, Johnny Depp casually walking behind them as they wind around our car and then a woman whom I think is my mother but it’s hard to tell in the dark, lead them to bed. I attempt to catch Depp’s eye by doing silly dances and eventually someone joins me, steps out behind a tree really. This new person is Michael Jackson and I even state this fact out loud to acknowledge his presence even more. We dance around a tree and seem to be having fun, I actually forget about Depp and then in a spin I dance off further away from the house. Once away from the house I actually look back on what happened and notice I’m dreaming, so I fly up high and touch the tops of the trees. I try to imagine myself someplace else, but my imagination carries me away to my old home and into my old bedroom with the bunkbed. Except the desk is closer to the bunk bed then I remember it and mom is on her computer there and Christian is sitting on the bottom bunk looking over her shoulder. I go into the kitchen because I feel hungry, I look into a container we often use for bread and notice dough is in there. So I place my hands over it and tense them as much as possible as I watch the dough rise and rise until it’s bursting out of the container and spilling over the top, then it starts to brown and I stop when I think it’s probably finished. I munch on this and deem it to be satisfactory, it has some spices in it but mainly tastes like dill sweet bread. I bring the rest into the bedroom and let mom and my brother have some. Mom says it would be nice with some onion in it, I mention that sweet onion would work wonderfully. I can feel myself waking up and it seems to even affect the dream because it starts getting light out and then I wake up.

Morning of September 4, 2017. Monday.



I am in our present bedroom in our house as it mostly is now. Curiously, at one point, I see that I am drinking a Frozen Coke with a straw. (I no longer drink cola in real life.) My wife Zsuzsanna, who is sitting to my left on the foot of our bed (the same orientation as we are in sleep, that is, she is on my left in our bed), had bought it. I consider possible health issues, but I decide that just this one, within a long time period, would not do that much damage to my health, and thus I enjoy drinking it (which proves that dream self “reasoning” is unrelated to conscious self reasoning).

I should have seen this situation as a dream state indicator (since I would never drink a Frozen Coke in reality), yet I did not, and because I did not, the preconscious kicks in, in a typical imposer role of the exact same type (and same overall mood and level of dream state awareness) since early childhood. (This of course, is one of many reasons I have never believed in “dream interpretation” as the term is usually used, simply because I understand what dreams are and how they work.)

This time the preconscious personification occurs as a young unfamiliar male, he comes into our lounge room and gazes at me from near the front door. Of course, this greatly annoys me and I get up to chase him back outside. As he goes back onto our porch, I notice it seems late at night. I jab his chest and chin with my Olympic barbell (which has no weights on it, but is my weapon of choice in many dreams), pushing him backwards. He walks out onto the street, but I shout to him that I will “get my shotgun” if he comes back.

Zsuzsanna joins me on our porch. I notice a number of unfamiliar people walking in both northerly and southerly directions at the intersection in the street perpendicular to ours. I consider that there is some sort of public event going on. This may be why the unknown male ended up absentmindedly coming into our house.

Without remembering that there is no door to the entrance to our porch in reality, that is, the doorway parallel to our lounge room door (front entrance), I attempt to close a wooden door. The dynamics of this otherwise solid door make absolutely no sense, but my dream self does not catch on at all.

Zsuzsanna watches me as I attempt to close the door over the porch entrance doorway. I do this in the understanding that it is actually our lounge room door. This makes such little sense, it is utterly absurd, because our lounge room door is actually a few feet from the porch doorway and not even hinged anywhere in that area. Still, it does not matter to my dream self as I try it anyway. (The door actually somehow seems free-floating in one way, though still has some sort of virtual hinging at times.)

I push the door to close into the right wall of the porch, but it does not quite fit. In fact, the otherwise solid wooden door bends a bit, leaving impossible curves in the top and bottom, though seems to resume its shape when pulled back out. I pull it back out and push it back in a few times, but I do not think it will serve as a viable door. I look at the items on our porch, including the dresser, and wonder if people will take
something.

---

This dream renders the waking transition as typical doorway waking symbolism of the same basic type as since early childhood. Such dreams, like many other dreams and their inherent waking symbolism, are unrelated to waking life in any symbolic sense. (I do not believe in “dream interpretation” in that sense anyway.)

What about this dream relating to waking life in any way? Only my wife Zsuzsanna in this case has any connection to waking life, yet the fact we are sitting at the foot of our bed signifies that even this is a dream state indicator (symbolizing, in real time, that we are asleep).

A door is typically the implied exit point of the dream in both lucid and non-lucid dreams, though a dream can also be vivified by going through a doorway or opening a door (and in fact this is one of my main ways to induce apex lucidity). This one was more illogical than in virtually countless past dreams of the same type of waking symbolism. There are probably at least two incidental reasons, one, the door pressing and crunching against the porch wall upon attempting to fully close it as was the door to my Cubitis bedroom (thus a subliminal dream state indicator relating to a “return” to bed - that is, subliminal acknowledgement that the physical body is in bed), two, the wobbliness of the door being analogous of having a heavier blanket over me at the time (as of course a blanket yields to physical movement but can be smoothed out again when a bed is made).

Of course, as I have written hundreds of times in my personal journal since childhood, a porch symbolizes (in real time) higher liminal space and is unrelated to waking life symbolism other than the literal implications of what a porch is (between fictional dream self identity and true conscious self identity). Additionally, the preconscious is transpersonal and always consequently the least like the dreamer (until merging with the emergent consciousness if such is the case) or otherwise there would not be the emotional contrast required to induce waking (yet I am always astounded by people who do not understand this as this is a dream’s main function). While in some cases, the preconscious takes the form of a person the dreamer may have an actual conflict with, for me, it is often far less true, as there will be conflict with the preconscious no matter what conscious self dynamics are extant. Whether or not a person has any current conflict in waking life has nothing to do with the nature of the preconscious as many people unintelligently presume (though is but one of many of the inherent falsehoods of “dream interpretation” by way of the very common Barnum effect). If I were to “get along” with the preconscious, this would possibly sustain my dream indefinitely, which is not biologically feasible or healthy. However, when I do passively coalesce with the preconscious, which is then no longer the preconscious but the emergent consciousness, I wake anyway (coalescence waking symbolism). The only real difference used to be the coloring of mood on whether my dream had a positive or negative outcome. Since I now have a greater understanding of my dreams than ever before, that coloring of mood being potentially negative, regardless of preconscious dynamics, has lessened significantly.

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