non-lucid

I had a whole night of nightmares about Mike. I didn't get much sleep at all. When I went to bed I had a raging headache & it was making me not lay still so I felt queezy too. Mike said I was saying "Don't tell Mike" while I was sleeping, lol. I told him yup that would be me telling a cab driver that you were acting insane. I only remember fragments & I didn't want to ruin Mike's day so I just talked to him when I woke up instead of writing it down. He's on vacation & he didn't need little crazy me to interrupt his vacation by saying "hey I have to go write down all my creepy nightmares I had about you last night". I just told him why I had them. He was w/ my while I was Christmas shopping & he doesn't really like to shop for Christmas especially on his vacation so both of us were stressed out. I'll just be glad for it to be over this year. I have a better plan for next year after some success w/ some online shopping this year.

I had a whole night of nightmares about Mike. I didn't get much sleep at all. When I went to bed I had a raging headache & it was making me not lay still so I felt queezy too. Mike said I was saying "Don't tell Mike" while I was sleeping, lol. I told him yup that would be me telling a cab driver that you were acting insane. I only remember fragments & I didn't want to ruin Mike's day so I just talked to him when I woke up instead of writing it down. He's on vacation & he didn't need little crazy me to interrupt his vacation by saying "hey I have to go write down all my creepy nightmares I had about you last night". I just told him why I had them. He was w/ my while I was Christmas shopping & he doesn't really like to shop for Christmas especially on his vacation so both of us were stressed out. I'll just be glad for it to be over this year. I have a better plan for next year after some success w/ some online shopping this year.

INT. HALL IN CHILDHOOD HOME - DAY

I am Donald Trump's choice for Secretary of State (the Exxon-Mobil exec). I'm at the cork board discussing a list of other candidates for Cabinet posts with my future boss. We point and gesture at the list. I see my sleeve cuffs. The shirt i wear under my blazer is dark blue, almost black (like an SS uniform?!?!?!)

I am on a train through the Arctic. At some point the driver tries to crash the train, but fails. I spend some time at the pole, and I am offered a last tour. I refuse, but I quickly regret that.

EXT. HALIFAX - NIGHT

I watch the snowfall in a vivid city street scene--in full, overcast daylight...but it's 12 AM ADT (Atlantic Dream Time). First Halifax dream since moving here.

Bed @ 2300
Woke @ 0440

Cooler cleanup
I'm at home, looking at the street, watching as strange garbage trucks drive along my road. They've got some kind of water cannon on top near the back of the truck, and they're spraying out the trash cans they pass. Now I'm out at the street, having just brought out our large styrofoam cooler, hoping they can clean it out. Sure enough, they turn down the water cannon's pressure and spray it out well, getting into all the places I have trouble with.

Unknown test
I'm walking through a town, looking at the buildings around me. Most are fairly normal houses, but there are a couple of odd ones. Just after passing through a gate, I see a small, bright red, corregated metal dome which is maybe 5 feet across and 3 high. A couple of houses later I see another odd metal building, this one house-sized. I'm confident that "The Tower" is responsible for building them. I don't see any way in or out of either one, but I do find a switch which causes them both to rotate. I suspect there's a puzzle to be solved here, but I don't know if it's actually solvable yet, so I leave it and keep walking. Now I'm looking at three small tunnels - they're large enough for a couple of people to walk next to each other. Two of them are somehow "collapsed" and only one is open. People on strange little carts are zipping out of it. I suspect that only one tunnel can be open at any time, and that when another one is opened the current one will collapse. I don't know what would happen to the people inside, but I guess they're zipping through quickly to reduce the chances of it happening to them.

Now I'm sitting with my wife in a cafeteria, with the tunnels behind me. Sitting across from us is a man who's arranging some testing for us. He can't give us any information at all about the tests, but we have to make some choices anyway. The first choice is which of two of the tunnels to go down. My wife and I have to choose different tunnels. I ask my wife if she wants to choose, and she doesn't, so I choose the one on the right. Now, he asks me to choose either "3" or "8," and I choose 8. He tells me that, because of my choices, I'm going to be getting the paper towel test. As it happens, I've heard some rumors about this one. Someone said that it's really important not to get your paper towel wet, since you do poorly if it tears.

I kiss my wife, stand up, and head off towards a much larger central room. The testing guy is standing by the door and comments appreciatively that I must really love my wife. I tell him that Mom is British, then head into the main room. Before finding the testing area, I decide to relieve myself and head for the bathrooms. Now I'm in the bathroom, which is long and skinny, and I realize that I'm the only man in here. None of the women seem to notice me, so I don't think I could have stumbled into the wrong bathroom by mistake, but I head outside to check. Sure enough, I was in the women's bathroom, and I see there's a closed gate in front of the men's, saying that because men taking such-and-such a test are required to have full bladders, no men are currently allowed in the bathroom. I'm not pleased, but there's not much I can do about it. I realize I don't have my paper towel and head off to find the testing guy. After wandering through a couple of packed rooms (one of which is full of only young adults) and despairing about ever finding him, I finally track him down. He apologizes for forgetting to give it to me (though I wonder if even this is part of the test) and gives me a stack of supplies. It ranges from sheets of cardboard (which are each a few square feet) down to tiny somethings, along with some tools. I can't hold it as presented, so I try to put it down to reorganize it; but people keep coming up trying to help me. I finally shoo them away, get it organized, and pick it up.

Now I overhear people talking about my test. One says that it's dangerous, that some people have died, and the speaker took the 'easy' way out - something involving a knife covered in spikes - the moment it became an option. I have no idea what any of that means. Now I'm in a girls' bedroom somewhere along with a handful of kids. There's an attached bathroom, and I excuse myself to it. I hope this isn't considered cheating - but it was closed for a different test, and it's been a long time, and I still haven't started my test, and I really need to go. I try to close the door but it's not wide enough for the doorway and is inches away from latching. I look around to see if I'm missing anything, but I'm not. The kids seem to be distracted, so I decide to go ahead and relieve myself. Suddenly I get a chill/goosebumps down my left arm. I start, trying to figure out what caused it, but I can't figure anything out. My arm actually feels kind of numb - what's going on? I wake up.

BTB @ 0500
Woke @ 0715

Fragments:
A girl who wants to do something and is complaining about gender inequality.

A quick view of a place where police lineups are held: they're making stripes on the back wall using masking tape.

We're meeting Megan in a parking lot. We've pulled in, and I'm waving at her, getting her attention. Now we're in a store, and her son is causing problems (as usual).

Points: 5.5

Went to sleep and dreamt of being in a bunk bed like when I was a kid. It was incredibly vivid.
It felt very oppressive in the pitch dark, closed in by darkness and silence in the room.
(When I was a kid and lived in the countryside it was silent and pitch dark at night).
I could then see myself 3rd person view from above, looking stark white in the dark of the room, huddled up.
In my head I was thinking "come on bring it on, do you worst!" whatever you are. And tensed for something to strike me. Nothing happened.
It was all so vivid and intense that when I woke, my mind was awake but i was still half a sleep.

So when I went straight back to sleep I was lucid.

I was inside a broken down school, there was a dark corridor with a pipe broken spraying water everywhere and broken masonery. Two boys in green school uniform were heading towards me, hands in pockets.
I thought to myself last time I was lucid I couldn't control much, so I took direct action.
Grabbing the first boy that came towards me by the face, I said take me to see the person I want to see, now!
He didn't have much say in the matter,looking at me wide eyed, he complied. We moved on and through some double doors met a giant man about 8 to 9 feet tall, wearing a blue medical gown. We were now in a hospital. He was blind and I could see wounds where his eyes had been. He was very strong, I could feel power pouring from him and without speaking I went with him (there was no need to speak).
We went along a corridor which which led into the front reception area of a large hospital.
There a large number of patients were sat in wheelchairs, in front of a row of glass doors to the exit.
The sun was shinning brightly into the entrance foyer.
The person I wanted to see was there in the closest wheelchair, her hair was fine and blonde hanging straight, she wore a silky white robe.
She got up from the wheelchair and took my hand. The giant took my other hand and we left the hospital and went out into the sun.
The site before me I will never forget. The sky , a beautiful greek blue, and the sun dazzling.
Above was the most amazing site, towering dizzily high above me was an immense floating castle.
The highest towers were in the shape of gigantic eagles. All parts of the tower were so black that it was almost hypnotic to look at them. I don't know if they were black because of the shadow from the bright sun or something else.
We flew together up, higher and higher with a feeling of great power, security and happiness washing over me. The giant was in the lead pulling me higher, then me, then she.
We went higher and higher, this bit went on for a long time, hard to describe but it was wonderful

Had two false awakenings where I tried to write dream up in journal, but was only dreaming it lol

Last night was not exactly fun. I can remember brief instances of this one; they mainly seemed to be warped situations of things that have happened to me in the last few months IRL. I am at a performance, with cover bands, but it’s as if they’re all playing to a track, not actually playing their instruments. I am expected to play piano to a Queen song, but someone takes my place. I’m at a movie theatre, about to go see a film by myself. I run into several old high school acquaintances. I’m finishing a group project and turning it in at the last minute; I think this is at my old house. The last instance was the most vivid and unfortunate. I’m sitting alone on a couch in a strange room; it’s like some parts of the wall are missing, or maybe the ceiling. It’s cloudy and grey outside. I think this place is near a lake. I see my ex-girlfriend just outside, her red hair vibrant and flowing in the wind. She is soon inside on the couch with me, and we begin to kiss and hold each other close. This is the first time I can think of that I’ve had this good of a dream about her since we broke up. In most dreams I can remember, she is cold, distant, or angry. In this one, she is welcoming, reciprocating, and affectionate. Then my friend comes in the room, acting like his usual annoying self. IRL, he didn’t like my girlfriend, and even told lies about her to my friends. This anger I feel toward him was evident in the dream. I am happy with her in this dream, and I want him out of the picture. Feelings of affection I have for her in the dream are coupled with the feelings of hatred I have for my friend. This is very similar to an instance that occurred a couple months ago IRL. But I wake up and realize, that although I’m over her, my hatred for him remains.

I was talking to andre on the phone trying to convince him that he needs to take care of his
business. He wanted to put something very important off until the next day and I insisted that he
not do that.


There was a sadhu taking pictures as a artist. There was this one scene with a Indian lady covered
in white ash with an amazing body. That scene was very provoking. I thought to myself in the dream
how could I sadhu do these kind of things with without being struck by intense desire. That the end
of the dream the sadhu spoke as if he was looking directly at the camera. I don't remember what
he said.

Last night bed 9pm - 3:30am

I remembered a dream when I woke up at night, but when I got up, I only remembered the one that came last.

I'm on a street. A car stops little further down the street and a male starts waking towards me. Black t-shirt, ripped arms, tatoos, big guy. I know I should be walking away, but I don't wanna look silly. He walks up to me, and tells me to come with them. 2 hispanic females that also got out from the car are standing nervously by the car.

My dad is just behind the corner so I start yelling for help and I make a few steps to see him getting in his car. He hears me and he comes over.

He is not really upset and I'm furious, then I realize he wants to hold the guy down while help comes. So I kick the guys feet to trip him over, knoeck him to the ground and I start calling 911. No answer. Then I call our auxilary 911 in Iraq, wtf, and the line is quiet. Everytime I say something, they guy on the other side just says "hallo"? I tell him all the info, addresses, attempted kidnapping, but all he says is "hallo". I'm luke f u and hang up. Call US 911 and finaly cops arrive. While they are putting the guy in the ambulance, I sneak a few more punches at him.

Something wasn't right. He wasn't really forcefull, but I got a feeling of danger. I remembered the kidnapping of the blond jogger by 2 hispanic females and I was so sure that these are the same people.

So this was probably the most stable and most vivid lucid dream I've had so far. Maybe not the longest but it was rather long too.

I'm not entirely sure how exactly I got into the dream. I had been drifting back and forth between sleep for hours in the bed, always trying to think about visualization and WILDing, but never really managing as I always fell asleep quickly. I think this time I lost consciousness just for a very short moment and snapped back at just about the right moment.

So I was lying in a bed, had my eyes closed, and saw mostly normal phosphenia. I didn't feel entirely normal and I wanted to open my eyes and be in a dream.
So I opened my eyes, being in a state of what I'd call skeptical lucidity, I believed that I was kind of in between dream and reality. What I saw in front of me was a massive cupboard that covered the whole wall, though it was composed entirely out of drawers. My vision wasn't normal either, it's like I saw a correct main image but then much weaker and transparent copies of the main image slightly wavered around.

I left the small room and went down a hallway to the left, it was dark outside and the light was very dim. My vision normalized somewhere here. A bit down the hallway I turned left again and entered a very large staircase (5m x 5m or so, the structure was very similar to my first boarding school). Around here I tested my powers for the first time, summoning a faint green glow on my fingers. I also heard some unintelligible voices from somewhere else in the building, but I didn't really care. I wanted to fly but I still didn't trust my current state completely. Then I summoned some weird stone, it was beige and glowed somewhat white and it had levitation powers focused in it, and this is when I trusted my lucidity. Then I did something I didn't ever do before, instead of looking for an exit point or breaking the glass, I just phased through it, and by that also through one of the steel bars that were between the glass panels.

Now I was outside, floating around a bit. Either it quickly turned bright or I have a memory gap here, I'm not completely sure. Now I was in a place that was kind of city, kind of village, kind of medieval, kind of modern. Imagine a small clearing and a raised plateau in front of me, there were tables there with some stuff on them, parts of the ground were neatly layered with stone, parts were grass. Around the perimeter of that clearing were buildings which seemed kind of medieval, but the further the buildings were away, the more modern they seemed. There even appeared to be tall apartment blocks in the distance.
I remembered I wanted to do stuff with Ryuuko in my dreams. I suppose this is the time and place to elaborate on her, refer to this place: Ryuuko Drakisu | Dream-Alter-Ego and persistent DC
So I landed close to the tables on a small free patch. I remember a bearded man standing there. Think of a Nord from Skyrim, just looking better, more realistic and having less of an annoying aura. He greeted me shortly I think.

So I summoned Ryuuko kind of as an empty DC, like a model with only the most rudimentary understanding and behavior possible, which is pretty much what I wanted at this point. I think she appeared in plain sight but I'm not entirely sure. Also there were a lot of details that were wrong. Her horns were reddish and on her side, her face was just wrong and from someone else, the hair was too short and had a wrong light brown color, her skin was too dark, had freckles and actually on all places of her body except the face the skin texture was missing, it was like Vantablack. Though parts of her natural scale armor, that is on the arms and legs, seemed to be present and mostly correct, I didn't focus on their details all that much though. I think I saw her wings in a folded state too, but again didn't pay enough attention to them to tell for sure.
I told this Ryuuko model to start fixing the skin color. What it did was a bit bizarre, it touched its face with its hands and then kinda rubbed the skin color all over her body, gradually replacing the blackness, albeit the revealed skin texture was still wrong and covered with freckles, I wonder why.
At this point I also noticed she was naked and was missing her clothes.

At this point the bizarreness of what I saw made me think about what to do, and it seems my focus slipped and I lost my lucidity. Somehow me and the Ryuuko model walked into a nearby shop, where I remember seeing her one last time, still not completely fixed up. Then some people were quite frankly talking about completely irrelevant shit, some stickers and some glitter was around but I hardly want to bother remembering. I know that for some time I just observed, then I ate some of the glitter. Then I woke up, much to my dismay. Had my focus not slipped I bet I could've still done a lot more in that dream.

Before I go into this, I have recently been pondering on the thought of going back in to time and all of the things that I could've done differently in my life, which yes I know you shouldn't look to the past in regret but to the future but I find it hard for myself to not look at the choices I could've done differently... This is the inspiration behind my dream.

So I find myself in my dream and I realize right away that I am smaller than normal, I look to my mother and notice that she is quite taller then me and I suddenly get the notion that I have went back in time to when I was a young kid and I kid you not but I literally thought that I was given a restart to my life for some reason, I convinced myself inside of my dream that I have been given a second chance at my life and after thinking about this I was overcome with joy and yes I was lucid but I didn't realize it was a dream, I thought it was real life and that I had been given a second chance. I had my phone in my hand and I remember me and my mother and possibly my father, not entirely sure, going to a movie theater. I don't remember looking at the movie screen but I remember just staring at my phone and thinking of all the things that I could invest in and become rich from I then remember going to the restroom after the movie and the restroom was quite weird and the toilets looked very odd for some reason but at the time I was still convinced that I had gone back in time but I believe I was losing my "lucidness" if this is possible and I was just drifting back into a dream I had no control of which did eventually happen, I then found myself in a different dream where for some reason I was fighting dragons and a man gave me 2 iron swords and I was able to down 2 dragons and the swords disintegrated after killing them and a 3rd dragon was coming straight for me and I put my hand in the air and sliced it's belly open with my hand and killed it, the people around me praised me then I remember grabbing the person in front of me and screaming to him that this has already happened and then I realised that I had this dream before and then I woke up to my alarm going off.

This is the longest dream I have ever experienced that I can remember and also this is one of few dreams that I had in first person (most dreams I have in third person like I am watching a movie).

Welp this is my first dream journal, hopefully everyone reading enjoyed it.

I waited just a little bit too long with writing this one down. There was something that preceded this moment.

Muslim language
I'm walking inside a building with a Dutch guy I just met. The building has been designed as spaciously as a public building. I feel like we're walking on the 2nd floor, due to seeing a balustrade. The floor (and perhaps some other elements) is alternating shades of blue. The Dutch guy and I are talking in Dutch about what I'm doing. I'm telling him what I studied and how it is that I ended up in Indonesia.

I'm now sitting at a table with 3 other people. My back is to the wall. On my right is my friend Alif. On the other side of the table are 2 people I can't identify. Further to my right is a door, leading to a room where some guys are discussing some matters. We're eating cake which is mostly orange coloured. Different sections of the cake have a different word on them. We're supposed to eat the corresponding section to properly answer a question. At some point the girl sitting diagonally to me eats a section that says "Muslim(s)" as an answer to a question that starts with "which language." It makes me nearly spit out my piece, as it's both horribly stupid and slightly inappropriate. There are more people to my left who want to have some of the cake. They're part of our group.

Kiss
I'm with a bunch of friends, sitting at a large table. The time has come to say bye to some people. We give each other pecks on the cheek and other normal greetings. There's one girl I made out with slightly earlier. When it's time to say bye, she gives me some pecks on the cheek, but I decide to just give her another full kiss. Ok, that was slightly embarrassing and perhaps inappropriate. I think she is into my friend and may have kissed him earlier.

Bed @ 2310
Woke @ 0520

Fixing an old injury
I'm in a long, narrow room in an old house. A doctor is preparing to do surgery on a man's arm, trying to fix an old wound that was never properly dealt with. He takes a pair of X-rays of the man's arm: one from the top and one from the bottom. The X-ray from the top looks normal, but the one from the bottom shows a long, slightly wavy, finger-width groove running the length of the bone. He explains to the family that he's going to have to fill this groove.

Lucid introspection
I'm with my wife. We're in a wide stairway / hallway area in some kind of weird multi-tenant house (maybe a bed and breakfast). I know this is a dream (though my awareness is extremely low). I want to get into a bathroom (I have a reason in the dream, but I don't remember it). In front of us, on the wall to my left, is a large plate-glass window. Looking through it, I can see a bathroom. A young woman is in there, doing something, but I'm not concerned since this is just a dream. Now my wife and I are in the bathroom, and the young woman* leaves without a word. * The bathroom is fairly wide and very long. The long wall across from the window is completely covered by a mirror. Running the length of the mirror is a shallow counter, maybe a foot deep, which is covered in a variety of small things (toiletries?) from one end to the other. I take a closer look at some of the stuff in front of me, then turn right and walk through a doorway into a very large bedroom. Carpet is on the floor, a king size bed is off to our left, and there's a small dresser and a door on the right-hand wall, but otherwise the room is empty. * I mentally run down my lucid 'progress', thinking that my daytime practice is doing pretty well, and my dream recall is generally OK, but that the only thing left is the frequency of my lucids, which is much better than it's ever been but still has a great deal of room for improvement. Of course, since lucid frequency is the only thing that really matters, it's not saying a lot to say that it's "the only thing left."

BTB @ 0530 (took a while to get to sleep)
Woke around 0700

Steam controller fiddling
I'm sitting at a dining room table, working at a computer, fiddling with my Steam controller. Some of my kids are standing around behind me, watching me. Ever since I got the controller they've been fascinated by it. Now I'm going down the steps in the house (dream-me thinks I'd been upstairs in my office and I'm coming back down), and I'm thinking about Steam's streaming. Would it be better to have the controller's receiver plugged into the computer receiving the stream, or would it be better to have the controller plugged into the computer sending the stream? After all, if the receiver is being controlled, then there might be input lag; but if the signal is strong enough to make it all the way upstairs, then even if I get video lag I won't have to fight with input lag as well.


Fragment: I'm outside, somewhere grassy, with a group of young adults from church.

Points: 15.5

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