non-lucid

I am in a retreat setting. There is a guy who has arrived back to meet both me and Louise but also of course continue with his meditation. He has climbed to the highest mountain in Spain and is prepared to put all his differences aside and get back to the thorough job of meditation. He is so joyful and full of respect for us even though he is so much older than us. We are in a small flat like area that is not the usual setting I am use to in retreat. There is an office out the back and a social area in the middle.

We move to an actual retreat and we are sharing about different aspects of our life. We eventually get into a meditation and and after a short session there is a chance to look at some of items on display. I am helping out with the displays and as I get some of the items ready a lady my friend Bernie Jeffrys notices the pain or trapped nerves in my shoulder. She puts a healing hand on it and I go into meditation. I can feel my breathing lightly in a one-pointed way and even when one of the retreatants come up to me asking me about the products I do not answer as the focus and the healing seems so important. The pain moves further up in my shoulder. It has shifted and Bernie looks at me with soft eyes and I say that really helped the pain has moved on to a new stage.


Brian is explaining to me about all these different ritual items. I think he is just talking to me one to one. He starts also explaining the Christmas tree which should be a dream sign but he does it so convincingly I believe it. There is something really magical about the tree as he explains it. When a look back there are lots of other Sangha members at the meeting.

I'm carrying a big piece of wood. I carry it like a plank balanced on my shoulder, and I'm walking along a quiet country road. Up ahead of me is a friend who died in a car wreck earlier this year, Don Wilson. He is carrying what looks like a piece of a waterslide, the plastic chute part. He is about 100 feet ahead of me, walking along the left shoulder of the road. I am following him. We are heading to some amusement park to install the waterslide. There are tall, dense pine trees on either side of the road. Don suddenly makes a sharp right turn, crosses the road, and disappears into the woods. I try to follow him, but he is gone and now I am lost. I don't know how to get to the park, and I am carrying something he needs, another part of the waterslide.

I see a clearing in the woods up ahead where I saw him disappear. I discover it is an entrance to a hidden subdivision of lakeside homes. There are docks where boats are tied up, but Don is not there. The subdivision is familiar; I've seen this place before in another dream. I enter a house and speak to a black lady who seems very annoyed at my presence. I ask her if she's seen my friend. She has not. I am still carrying the long plank on my shoulder. It feels very awkward. As I turn to leave, I see an imposing white man standing behind me. His arms are crossed and he is frowning at me. He is wearing a blue t-shirt and his arms are very muscular. "Did you get what you needed?" he asks me with angry sarcasm. He looks eastern European. Both he and the black woman are very hostile; they want me to leave.

I head back outside and see a rescue helicopter taking off from a far dock. Several paramedics in blue shirts remain on the docks as the chopper elevates and quickly departs. It is going on an emergency call. I decide to head over to the paramedics to see if they've seen my friend, but before I do, the muscular man I saw at the house suddenly joins them. I realize they are all brothers. There are about seven of them, all in blue shirts. I am worried they too will be hostile towards me if I approach them.

As I contemplate what to do, an attractive woman with dark hair suddenly appears. She is the sister of the seven men. I recognize her from somewhere, and she knows me. When she sees me, she comes over and embraces me with happy surprise. We were lovers at one time. After her brothers see us hug, they stop being hostile towards me and I feel safe. I tell the woman I am looking for my friend, Don, who is carrying another part of the waterslide and he needs my part. She says something in Czech to her brothers and they immediately begin searching for Don. I say something to her in Russian, and she is impressed. As we search the docks for Don, I suddenly realize Don is dead in WL (though I fail to gain lucidity). Knowing we'll never find a dead man, I am now embarrassed to tell them we are searching for a person who no longer exists. It would make me look delusional in their eyes. So I say nothing in the dream and pretend to keep searching for him.

The woman gets close to me and I am chewing gum. The wind blows some of her hair in my mouth and my gum sticks to it. As I pull the clumps of gum from her hair, I apologize but she doesn't seem to mind. Suddenly the paramedics' radio gets a message that thirteen kids had been killed in a waterslide accident at the local park. The authorities are now looking for me. I realize that was the reason for the rescue helicopter's departure. Dreamt 12/6/2016

I am a bass guitarist in a rock band. I am practicing with my bandmates for an upcoming concert. The concert is at a church. The piece I am rehearsing is a Jimi Hendrix-style riff. It starts by sliding high up on the 12th fret and then it comes down to the 3rd fret hitting the low E. The scene fades. I am now with my friend, Eric and we are on a beach, sitting on the sand and smoking cigars and looking out at the waves. The waves are growing more and more powerful. I back up and sit on a wall further back from the shore. I am now perched high up on the wall (maybe 50 feet), looking down at the tumultuous ocean. Being above an ocean with strong waves is a recurring dream sign. A huge wave suddenly crashes on the shore and reaches the bottom of the wall. I realize the wall I am sitting on is made of sand and the wave will cause it to collapse, so I decide to jump off on the other side to get further away.

On the other side of the wall I meet a guy I've worked with for a year but have never seen face-to-face. His name is Brian, and he is standing next to a new black BMW he just purchased. He shakes my hand and asks me about my new Mercedes SK500 (in the dream I haven't purchased it yet). As we are talking, a female police officer shows up. She confronts us because we are smoking. She is wearing a motorcycle helmet and sunglasses. There is now a group of people with us and she makes us all sit down in rows of chairs before her like in a classroom. She then has us come up to her and be searched, one by one. As I await my turn I hide the small cigar I had been smoking in the sand. I am confident that she is looking only for cigarette smokers, not cigar smokers. But in the dream I hide my cigar just in case. As I do so, a crumpled up half-pack of Camel cigarettes suddenly appears in my hand and I begin to panic. The cop at that moment looks over at where I am sitting. I discreetly try to hide the pack of cigarettes in my sock. I awaken right before she calls me to come forward. Dreamt 12/6/2016

I emerge from the underground transit system into a night world. I am with my wife. We are in Boston. I know this because I can see the familiar skyline in the distance, but it is not in the direction I am used to seeing it. We walk along a sidewalk and see an empty sports stadium. Although the stadium is closed and dark, I can see people inside, on the playing field, posing and taking pictures. Some of the people are standing atop each other and forming a human pyramid for the picture. They look like moving shadows from where I am standing. The scene fades to a bubbling countryside brook flowing over rocks near a cottage. In the dream, I find myself wondering if the water is fresh or salty, since the brook seems to be flowing away from the ocean rather than towards it. The scene fades.

I am now in a country store, crowded with people trying to get near to the counter. A young girl works there, and her job is to separate the people by putting a wooden door between them and the different sections. She puts one behind me, but it breaks when I turn around. I seem to recall peanuts being sold in the store. The scene fades.

I am now at another location. I've awoken on a leather sofa to see my brother-in-law wearing an odd "Irish" hat in the shape of a green lizard. I don't know why I identify "Irish" with the hat in the dream. My in-laws are there celebrating a birthday party outside on the front porch. I open the front door and see all the party supplies and table set up in a Halloween theme; all the colors are black and orange. Ashley (one of my nieces), is in the kitchen. She is doing the dishes. Yvonne (one of my wife's sisters) comes in from the outside and goes upstairs with a small kid following her. I don't know who the child is. I return to the sofa, by myself. I do not want to join any of them. Dreamt 12/5/2016

I am in a social gathering, a bar or something, celebrating. Saw Joe Quintanilla (a friend of mine from church years ago), but his face was purple and splotchy, as though he were decomposed. He was sitting in a corner scratching his arm. It looked like had a skin disease. His arm had the same black and purple splotches as his face. The purple, splotchy face is a dream sign. In the same gathering was an attractive blonde woman -- she was the sister of someone there. She was the center of attention in the room and she flirted with me. It seemed like we were at a convention of some sort.

The scene fades out and now I find myself in an old, familiar neighborhood, among the homes I grew up near Longfellow Circle in Hollywood, Florida. This childhood neighborhood is a recurring location in my dreams. I am inside one of the houses, and the blonde from the convention is with me. We exit the house together and step through the rain puddles between the homes and back alleyways. We are holding hands. The only thing I can recall after this is being alone in a school which is closed and empty. I am wandering the looming hallways, with a sense of unrest. Feeling uneasy in a school is also a recurring dream sign. Dreamt 12/5/2016

I forgot most of the dream, but for one part. I look around, and I am in my childhood home. I am upstairs, and immediately instinct tells me to run to the attic. All is the same when I get there. The desk, the computer, the chair and floor mat, and most importantly, the smell. That same musky smell from all those years ago, still burned into my mind so that at any moment I now know I can return there in the dream world and simply be. What a comforting feeling. If a place can live on in such purity long after it is gone, it gives me hope that when the day comes and someone has passed in my life, they will still live on in me. Amen.

After having low recall for a while from a lucid hiatus, you forget how random dreams can get.Also I wanted to do the dare Sensei gave me but I'm going to have to build up my recall and lucidity. Im getting closer to achieving it I feel so hopefully it won't take long.

The non lucid dream was already halfway when I remember entering a electronics store. There a girl was trying to show off her electronic asylum pen to a guy she didn't know.The guy getting annoyed tried taking it away from her aggresively as others quickly walked out of the store.

"That girl knew who i was. That's why she walked away. Cause she knew not to mess with me". Is what the guy said after he took the pen away. He than exited the store. I stopped watching and left after he did. While walking on the sidewalk a lady tried asking me for directions to the A or C train. I sort of ignored her at first until I quickly found that to be rude and told her I would show her where it was. As we walked to the station she let me hold her little nephew's hand. It felt like I was going to have to babysit him later but as we were walking a huge stone platform rose up and he bumped into it so hard his body deformed like in the classic cartoons when they get squished.

I was surprised and pulled him away so I could carry him to his caretaker. She was holding what seemed like a 1 year old now but checked to see if the child that got hurt was okay. Feeling like it was my fault I told her not to worry and waved my hand above the child's head. At this point I was semi lucid and decided to heal the boys head since I noticed a small hole on it where I could see his bloody brain. It didn't work but it was no point to make a fuss about since I knew it was a dream scenario.

Afterwards I ended up at my old house.I had a false awakening in my old room where some dark figure got my attention. The next thing I recall is worrying that someone was going to collapse because they had gotten too sick to walk.I don't remember what happened after that exactly so I'll skip to the part I recall.

I was with a group of characters and about to go defeat a monster with them but they seemed scared to try. Than all of a sudden wreck it Ralph came and gave enough confidence to everyone so we could fight it in the ring.We threw a few punches at it but than I ended up back at my old house where I was playing tag with the Muppets, an entity, my brother and cousins. It was fun running around but when I ran down the stairs with the Muppets my brother made a joke. I quickly ran back up and sat down to find glasses of milkshakes in a white box. After drinking some while sitting near the steps, I got up and bumped my head. I felt like placing the blame on someone so I got up and mentioned how I bumped my head.

Thats when the entity came and told me that they had an apnea board and if I wanted to try it. This reminded me of the quiji board so I said no and walked up to my brother who suggested we go to the library.This surprised me so I made a joke about it.Woke up after that.

*I also remember that somewhere earlier in the dream I was laying on the desk as my old middle school teacher showed me my portfolio and assignments. I than laughed while apologizing for putting joke answers that seemed clever on the assignments.

I forgot to note it down this morning but I still remembered this. I stole a quarter of a man's omelette. He was floating upside down. His head was like floating an inch above his chair.

(Why are there so many upside down floating things in my dreams!?)

Shady cabs
I'm with my friend Cam. We're walking home together. It's still quite a distance and it's raining a bit as well. We'd prefer to have a taxi. There's two coming by and I hail them. One stops in front of us on the sidewalk, a yellow one made out of a weird fabric. The other one stops to our left. I approach the one in front of us first. I'm not sure anymore in which language we're talking. I ask him for the price to our home and he tells me that he doesn't know. I ask him for an estimate. Still he doesn't know. That's kinda shady.. I don't want to ride with this guy. I approach the other guy and he just holds up two signs, which seem like oversized tickets. It's IDR 10.000 per person. Yeah no way. That's too much. We'll just check out Uber. We continue walking and end up in what looks like a public garden.

Crutches
I'm inside somewhere. I think I may have been busy applying for a visa. I'm seated together with my friend Caro. She tells me that she is going to Bali through China. That's not logical at all? She admits to that as well. I spot a sign in the distance, which reads in English that there are no international flights due to weather conditions. At some point in the dream I'm standing at the counter, with my crutches. I think I have a broken foot. I want to leave, but two girls are messing around with my crutches. It's not that they don't want to give it back, it's that they don't realise that I want to leave. I have to stumble towards them. I lose my balance and fall down onto the couch, next to one of the girls who has one of my crutches.

Park
I'm with a girl on the back of her motorbike. She wants to explore a city. Jakarta? There's another girl, one of my friends. It's either Caro or Cam. They feel like the other girl wants to explore quite far. It's a distance that she is not comfortable with. She decides to back down, while we continue. We're going to what seems to be a park. The girl is handling both the driving and the navigation. We're very close to the park, we just need to find the right way through. At this point I take over the navigation, because she is unable to find it. I use her white iPhone 5(s). The map is quite weird, graphically speaking. It's a bit confusing to me, also due to not fully understanding in which direction we're facing. I decide to pull out my own phone.

iPod
I'm seated somewhere with a girl. Irt? We're busy opening up my old iPod. Or at least, I'm opening it up, while she looks along. Damn, I forgot that this iPod has a back cover that's going to be difficult to remove. I might break it. It ends up being surprisingly easy. By pulling it, it clicks loose. I'm doing this because of something to do with a simcard. To my surprise, the iPod has a slot for it. It's either for that or a SD card. That doesn't really make much sense.. The slot is empty and there's actually not that much use in opening it up. I close it up again.

This fragment has to do with spongebob. Yes, Spongebob. Basically, Spongebob was hoping to separate from the Krusty Krab. His words specifically were
"Wanna know how much I like it? THE WHOLE SUIT'S A LAWSUIT AND READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!" after that, he ran straight out of the Krusty Krab and then it cut to my point of view. I was drawing a huge red rectangle in front of the Krusty Krab with my toe, which turned into a red marker for some reason. I then woke up.

DreamLucidAwake

Ambulance Crash

I was riding in the back of the ambulance with a patient lying in the stretcher. The patient appeared to be boy about 12 years old. The patient looked like he was in good enough health and was sleeping soundly. I started looking through the patient's paperwork to learn about his past medical history and current diagnosis. While skimming through I noticed something mentioning multiple respiratory arrests. I looked back at the patient to double check his breathing and realized that he was not breathing at all.

I relayed this information to my partner and he said he would try to get us to the nearest hospital as quick as possible. He turned on the lights and sirens and increased speed. I pulled a bag valve mask out of a cabinet, connected it to oxygen, and began ventilating the child. My partner's driving soon became erratic. He was constantly weaving between vehicles and either slamming on the brakes or slamming on the gas. I quickly started to lose my balance and began stumbling across the ambulance and falling over.

I pulled myself back up off the floor and tried to get back to my seat to resume ventilating. As I started ventilating again, I heard the ambulance horn blare and felt the ambulance immediately take a very hard turn. I heard the tires of the ambulance screech loudly as I was forcefully held to the wall by g-forces. I realized that the ambulance had started to spin out of control and tried to reach out for something to hold on to. Suddenly I then heard the very loud booming sound of the ambulance crashing into something. The crash sent my body flying towards another wall head first. I woke up as I impacted the wall.

Renovating
I'm in my mom's city in the Netherlands. There are renovations going on throughout the whole city. I'm happy and feel like it's great that there's so much being done to improve the city. I'm in a street, where in this dream I eat all the time. I'm kinda tired of eating here all the time, I want to eat somewhere else. I use a scooter and am accompanied by two guys in a car. We enter a T intersection, coming from the right. Very last second, when I've almost crossed the intersection, we decide to turn left. It's kinda shady, dangerous and I nearly hit another scooter. I keep driving though. The other guy is not very pleased and comes after me for a bit. I drive off again while performing a wheelie. I do my best not to overdo it. I manage to keep in control. I'm nearing a bridge and decide to drive on both wheels again. It turns out to be a good decision, as the bridge is under renovation. A part of it is just gone and had I not seen a sign and stopped, I would've driven straight into the water, as there are no barriers.

Fertility clinic
I'm in some type of fertility clinic. I'm the only guy in a waiting room, together with a group of girls. The person who will lead the tour comes in. Somehow I know he's French Canadian. His English is good, though there may have been a slight French accent. He gives us a tour, showing us around some outdoor area with lots of pipes and tubes and such. It's all a bit dirty and it's abandoned. I wonder how this relates to the surgery. Surely they won't perform the surgery in such an environment. I have to duck to pass underneath a tube which is obstructing my path. I ask the 'tour leader' a question. It's one sentence and I asked it in Indonesian. I get a reply back. It's to do with in which direction to continue.

My friend Alif is present as well. We continue walking. I think at this point there's at least one other guy, who may be hitting on her for a bit in an obnoxious manner. We pass a building where Alif and I may have been before and she asks me if that building is that particular building. We start walking back, using a different route. We walk down some stairs and then past a point with spiders. Spiders that I've only ever seen in Indonesia. I go 'fuck it' and just go through the path.

We're in a living room situation now, with the whole group. I'm sitting on a couch. Alif is sometimes on the twin bed, sometimes next to it. She is topless by now. I find that surprising, considering that she is prudish. Her breasts are much smaller than you'd expect from having her seen with clothes on. I bet she uses a padded bra. At one point, while she is on the bed, her face has turned into that of another friend, Jacinta. I notice that it's different, but I don't end up performing a RC. The tour leader is performing a final briefing. In the mean time, there's another French Canadian sitting on the couch to my left. It's a man who I suppose is in his 40s. He's got a strong French accent and is telling me stories I don't find very interesting. It's to do with the Dutch involvement in certain central African countries during the colonial era. I spot some signs on the wall. The tour leader is clearly practicing his Indonesian, as he has written some translations to/from French on some cardboard on the wall. There's a different.. thing.. on the wall. A poster or something similar, with a text on it. It starts out in Dutch but switches over to English. It's a warning, presumably to black people, not to get on a boat. It's not mentioned, but I assume it is because they will end up as slaves. The tour leader gives the final price for the surgery. € 690, instead of € 800 something. Most of the girls start chattering and making sounds, because they feel like it's quite expensive. I was already very uncertain about whether I wanted to proceed with this, but now I'm certain I shouldn't. I mean, I'm single and I'm travelling a lot. That's no life to raise a kid. My friend Alif shouldn't do it either. She's practically a kid herself. I have shorts on and now I start looking for my pants. There's a pair of jeans nearby on the floor. Are those mine? Did I even wear long pants? There's a black leather wallet on top. I give it a peek and it's my wallet. Then it must be my jeans as well. I start putting them on, when one or a few spiders start appearing from the pants. I freak out and it wakes me up.

I have a FA and start typing out dream notes on my phone. The phone that I'm using during this FA is the one I recently bought in real life.

I dream I was taking a spiritual class and was lined up in a room with a load of other people. The whole place was all white tiles and glass. There was the light from the water thrown onto the walls, illuminated.
The teacher was a lady in a long brown dress with hair pulled back.
Our first class we would have submerge ourselves beneath the water. I was determined to do well.

Morning of December 20, 2016. Tuesday.



I am at our present address on W Street near the west side of our house on the public footpath. It seems to be morning. There had been signs of a light rain. I notice that the Wicked Witch of the East must have been in a storm (though not in our area, at least with any perceived backstory) and blown our way in that the NBN cabinet near our house had fallen upon her (which is not logical, as the NBN cabinet is set upon concrete and shows no signs of having been removed or damaged). I know this is true because her ruby slippers have been sticking out from under the cabinet for probably a day or two. They stick out from the right side of the NBN cabinet.

It may be important to inform people of this. I look more closely and bravely feel the supposed ruby slippers, which are actually more like red fishing boots. They are of a floppy rubbery material. Perhaps the remains are not actually present.

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This dream presents failed flight waking symbolism, one of my most common forms of waking symbolism since early childhood, which is unrelated to waking life, and as such, does not imply any negative connotations. It establishes a form of “return flight” as related to the hypnopompic stage (which is rendered as such in over twenty percent of my dreams or 1 in 5 in tens of thousands), which sometimes induces a falling sensation (which is biological and unrelated to waking life). It is unreasonable to assume real life associations with such precursory symbolism relative to hypnopompia.

In this case, the position of the implied body (though the body itself is not seen or touched) is in a sleeping position, a real-time dream state indicator. Once again, the waking symbolism is oriented on the right.

The detail of the red fishing boots establishes three well-known dream state indicators simultaneously, red as a known presence of waking priority (especially in dreams which become completely red, which means I have been sleeping too long), boots that are not being worn (as one does not wear shoes when in bed), and residual water induction remnant (in being fishing boots or waders).

Additionally, there is the implication of the NBN cabinet representing technology, communication, and intelligence as symbolizing the conscious self over the fictional dream self or the remnants of the ephemeral dream self at the waking point.

Additionally, it is unreasonable in this case to assume the “witch” is related to waking life by specifics, for three main reasons. One, the “witch” herself does not even appear in this dream. Two, the “witch” is a fictional character from the “Wizard of Oz”, and my association validates this entire dream as primarily a real-time dream state indicator. Remember that “The Wizard of Oz” is about someone being knocked unconscious and having a dream. Three, it is fantasy, and fantasy symbolism is based on creativity, not life-relevant symbolism.

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Morning of December 20, 2016. Tuesday.



Zsuzsanna and I are “sleeping” in a tent (in the same orientation as in reality; her on my left) in what is apparently an unfamiliar urban park (though with a vague association with the field that used to be across the street from our present home) early in the morning around sunrise. I become wary of the gaps at the bottoms of the sides of the tent (mostly to my right, near my head) in their offering of less privacy. It is also windy at times. In the final scene, the tent is actually hovering above the ground and directly above us, the bottoms of the sides probably about four feet above the ground. I think a few ropes are still holding it in place. My clueless non-lucid dream self is not standing at any point.

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This is typical RAS (reticular activating system) intrusive waking symbolism, though sustained and with no hypnopompic physical event.

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Key concepts: Zsuzsanna and I sleeping in correct orientation as first level dream state indicator, dream state indicator of indirect association with floating or flying as dictated by natural inner ear dynamics, outdoor area previously a field and now a parking lot in real life as liminal space transition, sustained RAS factor, no personified preconscious, no direct preconscious factor, non-lucid and sustained non-cooperative emergent consciousness, interpretable as waking symbolism only.

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