non-lucid

Once a month, I have a dream about the apocalypse.

I've been working on my dream recall lately, because I'm trying to recovery from a long battle with mental illnesses. I stopped quite some time ago but I'm making excellent progress. It's nice to be interested in something again.

Here is the dream.

My family is living in an apartment building, instead of our house. I look out the window and see a lake. The sky is very dark, and I feel extremely creeped out. I can hear my parents talking to my sister behind me. I see some clouds swirling around, and suddenly, I see a meteor fall from the sky, into the lake. I immediately think, "The apocalypse is happening".

My dad warns me to back away from the window, but I can't look away. I see a meteor coming towards our building, and I scream. It hits somewhere below us and I feel the building sway. It made me feel sick.

My dad and some man who I've never seen before start grabbing supplies. I see them loading canned foods and cases of water into a car. Yes, a car was in the middle of our apartment building hahaha.

Suddenly, we're in the basement of the house we live in in my waking life. I don't remember how we got there. I don't see my mom anywhere, but I see my dad and sister talking. I realize that I forgot my phone charge in my room, because apparently that's very important to have during the apocalypse. I feel my anxiety building up as I prepare to dash up to my room to grab my phone charge. Oh, priorities...

I dash up the stairs, and I can feel sweat running down my face. I hear some awful buzzing sound, which was apparently the sound of meteors crashing into the earth. I kept thinking "This is it, Jayme. You could die any second."

I didn't die, though. I managed to get my phone charger and threw myself back down the stairs. But when I looked around, my family was gone.

Sleeping: September 5th 2015, 10:20 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: September 6th 2015, 6:20 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

I didn't know why we were here at night. I was with my parents, along the streets. There was a car on other side of the road. I also got hold of a remote, which I knew it was bomb. We decided, I pressed the button. The time was set for 30 seconds, so we ran. We thought we were safe. Yes, we were, but bomb didn't explode at all. I was confused on why it didn't work. Picked up the remote and found that I didn't press it at all yet. I just pressed, and ignored that bomb I activated.

I walked along the street and saw all the situations. Groups were trying to stop the bomb from exploding. So much bombs were placed under the ground. After I inspected most enough, I came back and walked into a nearby forest. It was dark and scary, but I just got some bomb activators there. It was just a small snack bag, with suspicious cube inside. I torn it off, got the cube in my hand. There were police around me, so I tried to be sneaky. Threw that bag away and slowly put the cube inside my pocket.

There was a policewoman who saw me. She said to nobody, but targeting me. "Heh? A kid found some suspicious things and didn't even help us. Lovely. Come here and get some rewards, boy." I was like "Freak. What do I do now?" and walked to her. Handed her the cube and tried showing my innocence. I apologized as much as I could and led her to trust in me. Although, she knew I was one detonating the bomb. We engaged in a long conversation about this bomb incident. She asked if I would even help her in their works. I refused, with reasons that I and my parents had to go somewhere else after that car exploded. She nodded, and acted like she didn't know the culprit 'me' at all.

I woke up afterwards. I was in my bed, recalling this thing. Due to how sleepy I felt, I continued lying there. However, the result from last night reminded me to not go straight into sleep yet. While it was super easy for me to sleep if I didn't get out at all, I risked forgetting about this dream. So, I just got out of my bed. Went out of my bedroom, got my phone. Came back, checked the time and wrote notes for this dream down. It was 4:40 AM. It took me around 10 minutes to fall asleep, assuming. Actually, I felt like I couldn't sleep at all.

I was awake in my bed again. Although, I felt weird this time. I didn't know what it was, until I took a look at my hand. Bang. Immediate lucidity from false awakening. Although, I didn't dare to move yet. I was afraid that 6 fingers I saw was just my failed vision. Actually, the room was dark. Things were quite blurry. So, I decided to try controlling something without my movement first. I was afraid I would wake up easily. I saw my closet, so I tried moving it with my mind. It worked effortlessly. I continued trying with other things in my room until I could be sure. There was nothing to lose this time. I had to get out of my bed or else I wouldn't be able to do anything.

I stood up, double checked my fingers. There were really six fingers on each hand. I was amazed by how things looked so real, comparing to my last dark lucid dream. I walked around my home. All the lights were on, though I remembered they were off in waking life. Subconscious did great job simulating myself waking up in the middle of night. This included seeing my dad falling asleep on the floor when watching TV outside. I accidentally stumbled upon him a bit. He woke up. I wasn't able to speak. He understood. "Sorry? That's fine." and continued being asleep.

I realized I didn't have to worry much. I opened the door with my mind. I couldn't remember what I was going to do. Only one thing popped up in my head: fly. It was bright noon, so great dream time to try. I opened my arms, ran a few steps out of my home and flew up. I was surprised I could do this effortlessly. There was one problem: I got my head stuck at the roof. Instead of having trouble flying up, I had trouble landing down. I used my hands to push the wall above so I could get down a bit and continued flying.

I was finally out of my home area. Flew up high on the sky, seeing the whole city. I felt amazed enough to point where I forgot I was dreaming. I landed down in a forest. I was in the wide area with no trees. Trees around this place were big enough to cover the sky. Found my friends there. I didn't know where should I fly to, so I just asked one of them. It continued to myself asking him for my other friend's cellphone number. Just to tell some people I was going to visit their house. Thanked him, flew off.

I woke up right afterwards. Checked the time, it was 5:51 AM. I quickly noted them all down happily. Continued sleeping on to late 9:30 AM. Well, that was my last night to have a long sleep. Until then, there comes another week of school works!

D1 - Driving (non-peacful)
Trying to get a parking space, doing a lot of driving around trying to find somewhere to park.

D2 - Shops (non-peaceful/powerless)
Trying to do shopping but people at shops wouldn't let me get my shopping out
Firstly they were telling me I had to go around and cue up again.
Then as a plan B to stop me the shopping assistants changed the conveyor belts around (like a toy race track) so that my shopping was going round and round but never getting to the till to pay.
I got fed up and left/ woke up.

D3 - Factory (non-peaceful)
I was trying to sabotage a government plan by getting into some factory or other.
I was doing it under a false name. Arrived at factory with metal door (looked a bit like lego construction). I used some kind of robotic arm to open door. (reminds me of James bond "Die another day" set). Lots of tropical plants (big ferns) inside greenhouse type factory.
Unable to escape due to snipers continually having me under their watchful eye.

Sleeping: September 3rd 2015, 10:20 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: September 4th 2015, 6:20 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

I've been waiting for chance to play piano in my dream for long time. This was finally featured, but as others playing though. It was an ordinary day. I thought it was somewhere around evening, or the weekends. However, everything looked like afternoon. I was doing my assignments/playing games in my house; I used to live here 3 years ago. While it was supposed to be small, it was big this time. Everything was perfect. Things went on until I heard someone playing a piano. I tried listening what it was, but the song changed. As far as I could recall, it was one of pieces I've been trying to play. I was surprised there were great pianists around my house. Eagerly, curiously, I dropped what I was doing down. Walked to the door and took a look. I couldn't figure out who it was.

I didn't dare enough to go out of my home, as people would suspect. I doubted they even hear the piano sound at all. So, I could only try to look from the door. After few minutes, I noticed something weird outside around the right. It looked like multiple vertical black/red dead pixel lines. By this time, it was already raining; I didn't notice it was before this. Soon, I heard some weird sound which I eventually assumed it as some weird UFOs coming. That actually happened. I panicked, didn't know what to do. What I ended up doing was trying to stop the flood. Water was flowing into my front yard. I closed all the (dream) front glass gates and got various things to stop the flood. I woke up soon though.

I felt confused for my dream actions. Though, it was interesting to see what I would do later on. I didn't get out of my bed to take a look at my alarm clock, or even writing this dream down. Simply fell asleep in few minutes.

Afternoon. I was in front of place I assumed it was my home. I was in a place that looked like public park. Things behind me were building made with brown/orange bricks. I saw people setting some stages up, much like a concert. A huge Novation Launchpad Pro was also featured. I talked to someone who was near me all the time. We discussed about an event. I could recall it perfectly: someone's livestream, morning for school by my timezone. I complained how I couldn't even have time to watch it. He then said, "it's now, isn't it?". I didn't get what he said, but time changed to night.

We were somehow sitting in our seats already. Quite high, looking down seeing the event starting. Lights were fantastic, and other people were clapping, or screaming as if they would. Soon, a strange, suspicious man walked in. He said that they had to do this before the show started. He then shot a bullet up high in the sky, but it curved to rightmost seat in my row. The bullet then exploded into a huge barrier wall with screen on it. That fitted in the space between seats, completely making rightmost person separated from others. The screen was there for that person to see another person. He continued, and it eventually came near to separating everybody.

I figured it out. I quickly looked around the stage, quickly calculating the possibilities. The barriers, accompanying with how seat positions were placed out; they would make everybody trapped in. I sensed bad things coming. However, we were too late to leave. It was about to separate us, and we were sitting too near. We decided to separate off a bit to make sure the wall wasn't going to squeeze us down. I lost my shoes and tried to find them, but ability to do that was then blocked. I could only feel worse things coming.

I woke up abruptly soon afterwards. Freak, I'm eager to see what will happen afterwards. Interesting, a dream character tried to tell me I had to watch something. I completely forgot about it when I woke up. Still, seems like that livestream was postponed due to various reasons. I could only facepalm, recognizing it right now.

Black: non-dream
Blue: non-lucid
Red: lucid

Dream 1 - Gang violence
I remember being on a sloping suburban street that curved around as it went uphill. I was hanging out with some friends from high school. Their families were there, and I noticed that they were a pretty rough folk. Most of them were Mongrel Mob members wearing leather jackets, drinking beer and just hanging out and stuff. They seemed so normal to be honest. I was standing by a white car just talking with my friend when I noticed a car driving slowly past.. They were looking out their windows at the people around me (I guess it was some kind of barbeque get-together) but they looked sinister as hell. I saw one get a gun out and point it towards everyone, they started shooting and I was absolutely terrified. I saw a bullet ricochet off the concrete near my feet and I huddled my head down and tried to crouch behind the car for cover. My friend wasn't too phased by the event, she had an expression that I interpreted as 'geeze their so lame, a driveby while we're partying? wankers'. The car drove off uphill and around the bend and I woke up.

Dream 2 - Killed in my dreams
I think at some point in the dream I was involved in some gang related murder, we killed a friend of Snoop Dogg's (Can't seem to remember it anymore). I was driving at night down a well-lit street, the orange glow from the street lamps lit the red-brick apartment buildings that were common in this lower class area. A car drove up next to mine with the windows rolled down, I look over and see Snoop Dogg. I know what's coming next, and I know there isn't any way I can escape. He gets a gun out and puts it to my chest, I try and explain it wasn't my fault but he clicks the trigger. A gasp of breath escapes, my mouth is open and I look down in shock to see the hole in my chest and blood flowing out. It felt so real, the profound feeling of death lingered. Then the dream reset.
I see Snoop Dogg in the car next to me, I know what's about to happen. This time I explain "wait! I didn't want this to happen! How could anybody want that to happen?!? Nobody should have died, and there's nothing I can do to change what happened" the feeling of tears seem to well up inside me. Snoop Dogg lowered his gun, but I had made a crucial mistake. Snoop Dogg's friend didn't hear my plea. He appeared in front of me (somehow in my car he just popped up in the space where my legs go (I didn't seem to be in the drivers seat anymore as well)) and pointed his gun at me. Bang. A gasp of breath escapes, my mouth is open and I look down in shock to see the hole in my chest and blood flowing out. It felt so real, the profound feeling of death lingered. Next thing I know I'm awake.

The last dream was pretty scary to wake up from, kind of shocked me.

Sleeping: September 2nd 2015, 10 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: September 3rd 2015, 6:30 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

I was in a mall between food and games area. My mom and younger sister were talking to someone, far away from me. There were games for kids which I used to play when I was so young. I somehow wanted to play them again so I just got some coins in. (I'd rather not note all the details here. Whole dreams were just playing games, in one sitting.) After a while, my mom just saw me and chuckled a bit. I continued playing as I felt nobody was watching. Things were getting harder and harder until I failed. Although, the result was pretty high in leaderboard, I decided to not leave my name there. I then pulled a burger out of nowhere to eat. I woke up before I could even know the taste of dream foods.

Long things short. How the hell is our brain capable of imagining the whole game mechanism in few seconds? I don't even bother writing all of them here, or what it was.

Sleeping: September 1st 2015, 10:45 PM (UTC +7)
Awake: September 2nd 2015, 5:50 AM (UTC +7)

Non-Dream, Non-Lucid, Lucid, False Awakening

Since when I got back from that event (August 17th-18th 2015), the dream place started recurring at steady rate. That was where I assumed I was, but in fact the scenery was all different. I was with my 5-6 friends on the top floor of hotel. It was evening, meal time. There were long tables with foods on it, for us to queue and get them. Of course, nothing to expect much. I had already finished eating them. Went onto conversations about various things before we got out of this table. Left to our room to do our things.

Things fast-forwarded to somewhere almost midnight. Nobody was at their proper rooms. It felt funner sticking together at someone's room, right? The thing was... we weren't inside the room at all, but I believed we were. The place resembled my school's gym. I was sleeping on the ground with my feet pointing to a room. We just sat down and talked about various things. Topic changed from time to time, without anybody even noticing.

I looked at the clock, and it was almost midnight. I was about to tell them that we should have slept already. A person suddenly walked in and told us we had to get up early next morning. So, that was it. We just left to our rooms and slept. Things fast-forwarded from that scene to next breakfast. I was about to take some fried rice as I heard there was. However, I couldn't find any. I was just confused, trying to find, and next thing I stumbled upon. Everything turned into creepy veggies, felt them staring at me. I just... "freak." and ignored them.

I woke up right afterwards.

Related dreams

• Pre-Journal Entry - Unknown Date - Top Grade Gourmet

I was a real asshole in this dream. I don't think I was lucid, but I was aware that the place wasn't in reality, and that I had great power over people and things down there. I was testing a very basic kind of power. I realized how using hands to perform telekinesis wasn't really necessary - the hands just provide the brain with a cue that make using the power easier to direct. The power itself is innate to the mind. I realized that anything could be achieved simply by focusing willpower very intensely. Making things move simply by thinking about it, by "seeing" it happen in your mind and forcing it to become reality.

I experimented a bit. On DC's, too. I think I made one guy explode in a cloud of blood and gibs. The other, I imagined him walk backwards, off a pretty serious drop. He had no choice but to obey.

The dream took place in a dark place, out in a wide open space. The ground consisted of black rocks and rivers of lava. There was a lot of massive scaffolding suspended above the ground. The first scene involved me flying through the dark, apparently trying to prevent a nuclear explosion from killing the last few humans. I could not prevent it, but when the blast finally happened (a word entered my mind: "first light"), I knew it was about 14 kilometres away from the people I was trying to protect. They would be safe.

I landed somewhere (possibly between two buildings, on some scaffolding). I think people were watching me from above, saying I couldn't do something. I wanted to prove them wrong. Then something happened. I already had angel wings (nice white ones), but too small to be functional (about 1 meter wingspan). Suddenly, they grew. Quickly. They grew until they were massive, about 2,5 meters in wingspan. I wasn't sure it would work, but I tried flying again, and it worked. For some reason, I was trying to reach for a certain skyscraper, but I had trouble staying still in the air. I kept drifting off. I managed to reach for it, and hung onto the side of the building, which was now very small - small enough so I could probably wrap my arms (or wings!) around it easily. I climbed down a bit, until I found the spot I was looking for. It looked like a red jewel (??) embedded in the structure. I punched through it and reached inside.

I looked at the horizon, and saw something unsettling. I saw a massive group of alien tripods (the ones from the 2005 War of the Worlds film) advancing towards the human outpost. They had no idea that they'd be attacked soon. I ran and flew as fast as I could, jumping, flying and gliding between the scaffolding. I think I was getting shot at, too. Laser beams. And there were smaller enemies among the tripods. I got past the advancing aliens, and kind of crash-landed (not sure why I kinda crashed) in human territory. I approached a bunch of humans by a campfire, and said I needed to get them out of there pronto. One of the men was Jan, a colleague from work. Only he looked the way he did years ago, before I even worked there. Anyway, he agreed they needed to get out of there.

I had a long and loopy NLD, it was entertaining so I thought I would share .
1: I am on the tram with my brother, about to leave for school. We are talking about this fountain of youth or something that had just been discovered. Suddenly, a man with white hair comes aboard, and he started zooming around so fast he comes a blur. What on earth is going on? I think to myself as he dashes around the tram, but I soon realizes in horror that he is taking us prisoner. He stops in front of us suddenly, and says his name is Rabbit. He has tied up most of the people in the tram by now, and he embarks on a long winded monologue about what he is doing and why. He apparently stumbled across the fountain as well and managed to steal a drink from it, but it gave him super human speed and strength, not the 'youth' everyone else thought. He commandeered the tram and drove us towards the school, not stopping at any of the normal stops.
Scene transition, and My brother and I and two friends have managed to sneak off the tram and are trying to find the source of Rabbit's power, the well, to stop him. We walk into a warehouse sort of place, and inside it is similar to n airport security sort of place. We know that Rabbit is likely after us, so we hurry through the security area and I manage to get through a side curtain/door to the warehouse area. The others follow and we find ourselves sneaking through the warehouse, past workers and guards, until we reach a square panel in the floor; the entrance to the fountain. The four corners of the panel have a sort of straw plug in them keeping it down, so my brother and I set to work removing them with Allen keys. I slowly manage to tease out the first corner, and quickly settle two others, but my brother has screwed up his side and I try to take over and salvage it. We get the feeling that Rabbit is on his way, and we need to act as fast as possible. The dream dissolves from there (I don't know if we managed to get the panel open )

I am sure I had some other dream fragments but it has been a while since I woke up an can barely remember them. I think it had something to do with Physics and my dad, some secret of the universe.

I literally JUST remembered that I did have a sort of lengthy dream last night, and it was long enough in general to have its own entry, so here we go.

I appear to be at a night time pool party outside of an expensive looking house. Only it doesn't really seem like a party. There aren't many people there, and there's no music or anything. But there were a bunch of lights aimed at the pool and I remembered coming out of the house and going near the pool but then I remembered I left my swimming trunks in the house so I had to go back in and get them. Once I was back out, I avoided swimming in the pool. In real life of course, it isn't that I can't swim, it's just that I don't like to. So even in the dream I refused to do it. It was almost pitch black outside, and there were like maybe 5 other random people that seemed around my age, but I didn't recognize them.

That's all I really remember about this one. I'm going to try and write down dreams here as soon as I wake up, so I won't forget them at all. Even if it's just for a few hours.

I'm on a lake. In the lake, there's a small island; there's an enormous tree whose roots cover almost the entire island; at the base of the tree, there's a standing mirror, silver in color this time; and in front of the mirror, there are two steel bars. There's a steel vine covered in thorns that's wrapped around the bars in an arch, serving as a lock. I unwind the thorny vine and remove it. The mirror's open now.

Traveling through the basement of a ruined mansion, where the walls have crumbled so much there's a sense of open air and greenery, there's a painting of Joan of Arc commissioned by the woman who used to own this estate, and I'm pleased to see she had it painted so that Joan resembles the commissioner herself. This would be considered disrespectful, which is why it was hidden away in the basement.

I'm in an open, airy, bright library where some event is going on, some new release that's drawn in a lot of upper class, scholarly types. It's interrupted by a woman who's some kind of monster I'm familiar with, delivering a hostile message to me and leaving again. She frightened most of the people into backing away. I'm thinking, although these things are hostile and my automatic reaction to them is equally hostile, they only exist because of my "tainted blood," which was what originally created her kind, generations back; thinking about that, there's a shift in attitude, I start to pity them. They're essentially my responsibility, though they're not aware of it.

Nothing really happened last night that I can remember. Maybe a few small dreams that weren't memorable enough at all to write here. Tiny fragments of things I'm not able to recall.

Maybe I'll get something better tonight.

We're at a multi-level restaurant, where you have to take a lift to get to your table. Each table has its own little balcony area, but there aren't any railings to keep guests and servers hemmed in. You just have to balance!

I'm having trouble with the lift. Our table is on one of the middle levels, but the lift wants to go to the very top or the very bottom. Eventually, I wait until the lift gets close to our level, and then jump—

My hands grasp at a chair that's bolted down on the level above (or below?) ours, and my feet kick out at the air until they find purchase on the scaffolding. I'm upside-down, and I climb steadily back to our table. I'm glad that my husband is sitting down at the table already, because he can keep the whole thing weighted down as I throw it off balance.

9.5.15

Night off, so this is during sleeping at night.

Nightmare #1
Shouldn't have happened, because I was not sleeping on my back flat. But on 3 pillows as I was trying to WILD.

So, they sent me to my grammas house. After we all knew she is already dead. I was suppose to stay there by myself over night, knowing that she will be haunting there.

I almost came to conclusion that I don't have to do it, because I can just say NO.

#2
I'm with another guy, who is a coroner. There is a young female trainee who we sent out to collect a body. She calls us to ask how in the hell she is suppose to put a rigid, curled up body into a straight bag. I'm standing outside, but I see her with the body of a young woman curled up, as if sleeping. She is in white tank top and some undervear.
This is all happening near the train station and we need to hurry because train is coming or leaving and we are in the way.

So the coroner goes to her and shows her. Now there is a neat "pod" type of a container, neatly wrapped in plastic, with body on the underside, so it's not visible. I'm helping the trainee to lift it up and put it someplace. While I'm touching it, I know it's sanitary, but I can still feel the body with tips of my fingers.

After that's done, I feel so bad. Incredibly bad. Like I did something I never ever ever wanted to do. And now I was kinda forced to do it, but I know I stil had a choice not to. Same as in my first nightmare. I had a choice not to do something I didn't want to do, but felt pressured to do it. Then I kicked myself for it.