non-lucid

00:00 Tuesday 2014-05-26

00:00 1.3 scoops UYM muscle builder amino acid mix powder.

remee on, I'm sleeping with it most nights now so I'm adjusting to its "face feel".

02:00 bedtime. Outrageously late. Not my fault, well partly my fault.

09:00 out of bed, recall dreams, nothing at first, then more and more flow in.

+ at work, I see a large (meter square at least) complicated schematic, I think it must have been produced by computer. Walk past a coworker I'm sure it's PS. Some other scenes at work with coworkers, I see my old car?

+ moving into a house in a complex on a hill, we have to unload a ton of boxes. We have to haul boxes up the hill because the complex does not allow parking in the driveway. To heck with that, I will bring my car up and we can unload much more conveniently, otherwise it would take forever. I'm in the driveway looking into the 3-car garage, there are two cars in there already, I tell (my wife?) to move one of the cars.

I see a room inside the house filled with our boxes stacked high.

I am walking through a store at the base of the hill, there are lots of things there (lawnmowers, small devices), I'm looking for a chair on wheels, I can't find one because I think it's against the rules here to push someone on a chair with wheels. I walk through a door in a glass wall (dream sign) and close the door behind me, this is a forbidden door. A guy gets up in my face quickly about using the forbidden door, I could have broken the glass he says. I playfully wrap my knuckles on the glass saying how strong it is, making fun of this rule, I can't believe he's actually bothering me about this stupid rule.

I'm in a stairway climbing up, there are 3 thugs there, they jump me, literally, one guy jumps down over the rail from the flight above me on top of me, I'm fairly confident that I can handle them.

Walking around the back of the house, there is a structure there (outdoor bathroom?) being constructed, it looks like a small electrical substation, I walk past it looking down on the ground and I see all the electrical connections/cables have already been hooked up.

+ I activate a dream control menu floating in the air before me, I have 3 options for selecting locations and replaying a portion of the dream.

The dream began with something incredibly strange and ineffable, mainly because the memory is so faint it's hardly there. I have this vague recollection of a feeling of pleasure, beautiful moment of some kind, perhaps the feeling I was searching for earlier in the night of my soul leaving my body (I was attempting an OBE). Worth writing down for future memory's sake.

I was at the gym at the college by my house running around the track. A co-worker told me to slow down. I did, and it felt great. I raced a friend at one point, then stopped and talked to another guy. He lent me a couple video games, a strange version of Guitar Hero and another. When I tried to play them at my home, on my computer, they wouldn't work. Guitar Hero required a birth certificate. So I went on a drive and stopped for a long time at an intersection. I might have smoked a bowl, I dunno. I journeyed forth down the road. I live on top of a hill, so I came to the dead end and found a large cathedral, a cemetery and other stone-wrought creations.

This is when the dream took a turn. I got out of my car, and there was Regina Spektor! One of my favorite artists, her voice is angelic and her musicality unparalleled. I followed her into the cathedral and we adventured a bit, making small talk. I asked, how long have you lived here? She told me she had just moved to this side of town, but she had always lived in my city. I was surprisingly cool, calm and dispassionate, likely because I was ignoring the warning bells ringing that told me this was a dream. We got back into my car, she was driving now, and she drove back down the road to my house. She needed to borrow pants, I think hers were cold and wet, as it was snowy. It hadn't been snowy before.. I tell her to let me off at my house, it's where the snowmen are. There was a large, sad looking snowman right out front. I walked inside and told my parents, Regina is here. My mom goes outside to talk to her, there's an intense, watchful man inside, perhaps a hobo, who my parents had taken in.I considered making hot cocoa, but that would take too long.

I woke, slept, dreamed, forgot, woke, slept, dreamed, forgot. Next dream I remember, there was a car wreck near my house that people were running to. I was curious, so I decided to get on my bike. Then I decided, nah, I'll just buy a car. So I bought a car online, from Apple, for $2400. It was remote controlled, because I wasn't in it (dream logic, I was definitely with the car the whole time, but it was a third person view). I couldn't find the accident, so I drove to a theme park. I was not on the roads, my car was small, like a Smart Car, and it could hop up and down. I got past some people in my way and voyaged about. There were various levels and missions I was completing, though really I kept trying to use its GPS to get back to the wreck. At one point, I talked to a boy and said, don't be like me! I spontaneously bought this car, it was a bad idea, I'm too broke to buy a car! I picked someone up, escort mission status. A large lady, she kept us safe from attacking wolves later on whenever they jumped on the car. I used the car to climb up a small mountain that had steps. We went into a city. Cars kept wrecking into me, and my car was taking severe damage, at one point catching fire. Cops came, but didn't arrest me. What a waste of a couple grand!

Gotta record during the night, running through the list of accumulated dreams every waking works OK but so much detail is lost. Several on the list forgotten entirely (it's late afternoon now).

0:00 Sunday 2014-05-25

01:00 bedtime

A number of wakings during the night, lazy to record, try to build up a mental list of dreams throughout the night to last until morning, run through the list every time I find myself awake adding new dreams to the list.

+ barbecuing, the coals are round black discs with grey ash around the perimeter

+ something about racquetball

+ getting down into a rowboat with someone

+ Larry David asks me to go golfing with him, I'm suspicious since I'm not a good golfer, a tiny toy car falls to the ground I pick it up, look at it closely, and think how in the old days kids would be so happy to have such a toy and to play with it for hours

+ I'm in a smart-girl's sorority event standing at a table, the adult female counselor stands up next to me and says something, someone calls out to everyone "what are you thinking!?", I raise my hand and declare "I was thinking something to myself!" I think this is a really clever/funny comment but the room is silent in response, I think "oops...", we unroll some scrolls and read them.

+ Me and my friend are hastily trying to prepare a weapon against the coming evil/powerful guy, we do not make it in time, I implore the evil guy just to kill me and my friend, not the whole group, I think later why should I die for this evil guy I think my friend and I should double-cross and ambush him.

Someone's been describing a group of people to me, and he's just moved on to describe two partners who are separate from all the others in some way. His description focuses on one of these two, but my memory only really picks up when he moves on to the second one by saying "Another one, always in darkness." (Or shadows, or something with a similar meaning). I see an image of him as a tall hooded figure. I like him instantly. The guy describing him says that unlike all the others, this one exists in "both long time and short time." I see him in modern clothing now, living and working at an isolated shrine. By "exists in long time," it means that this guy's forced to go through time the long way around, living through each day one at a time (that is, the way time usually works), waiting for the others to reappear. That seems tragic. I'm thinking that he must be immortal in some fashion, to be able to wait for the others' timelines to intersect with his over centuries. The guy talking references "the swords that take the end of each user's life."

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm sitting on a bus waiting at an intersection, looking out the window. One of the other passengers says we've reached Las Vegas now. I see a sign on a building that includes Las Vegas in the name, but the road we're on now is in a small neighborhood, small town atmosphere. The bus is just across from a small store, and there's a guy standing by the door playing a guitar. I'm enjoying the music. So is the girl sitting on the seat next to me. There's an old man sitting across the aisle who looks over at us to make sure we're paying attention to the music. He talks about the importance of paying attention and enjoying what's going on around you, something about being open to messages from the universe and synchronicity and all that. I'm bored with this conversation, but then I think that I've been hearing that sort of thing so often lately, between work and now this guy, it's a synchronicity in itself. (Except since it's turned out to be a dream, that's no longer true. Dreaming about things from work isn't exactly synchronicitous.)

Let me preface by saying I haven't written a dream journal entry on here for a bit but last night was pretty crazy, and I completed the TOTM. This is the first TOTM that I have completed within the month it was in since January.

Supplements at WBTB: 4mg G, 250C, 200mg L-Theanine

Now I had about 10 different dreams I remember for the most part, they start to run together a bit and the order is not exact but here is what I have. Also I did have some dreams before the WBTB but I cannot recall them right now.

Dream 1: I was driving home or going home by foot and went by a school or building that was getting worked on. When I got home there was a guy working on the siding on my house. He was replacing some that was messed up. I saw that he was using a certain kind of caulking and was curious about it. We talked a little bit and eventually he was gone but not sure where he went. I thought he might have disappeared in my house. I went looking for him and thought this was pretty weird so I did an RC by looking at my hand, 7 or so fingers. Lucid: I was blown away of course since it had been awhile since I became lucid, so I tried to stabilize the dream a bit by concentrating on my hand a little more but whirled out.

Dream 2: Now this one actually started Lucid but I just flowed with it for a bit so it would stabilize. I was in a corn type field and I could see my wife in the distance. I called her name and she looked at me, the dream cleared quite a bit. I interacted with the environment a bit by touching the corn and said "focus" again. I began walking a different way to do my own thing. For some reason I had a hard time walking in a straight line and seemed like I couldn't control myself. I woke myself up at this point by thinking about me in bed.

Dream 3: This one was my longest and most memorable. I rolled out of bed on the opposite side I sleep on, I knew I was lucid but still needed to check since I always have to really convince myself. I got up and turned on the light and looked at my hand, 7 fingers Lucid: I went through the door and around the house to the living room area. I still couldn't believe this was a dream so I wanted to check again. I tried to flip on the light and it didn't work, I knew this was another sign of dreaming. I then thought about the room I just came from and if I wasn't dreaming then I would have left on the light in my room and woken up my wife and daughter. I looked outside and I could see a glass door where my room was and the light on. My wife (didn't look like my wife) came out and looked mad, at this point I realized this was definitely a dream. I turned toward the front door and thought of the TOTM and planned to do telekinesis, I have done this before in other dreams so was comfortable with it. I saw a little wooden vase on the table by the door and concentrated on tossing it up in the air. It flew straight up to the ceiling and bounced off it. I wanted to experiment further with something bigger. I spotted the couch (which was a huge sectional) and with a little more will was able to lift it straight off the ground as well. It flew into the ceiling. As I am doing this I use my hands to guide what I am moving with my mind. Lastly behind me was a Christmas tree with a bunch of presents around it, I concentrated again and lifted all the presents and tree with my powers. Pretty sweet! I thought what do I want to do next. This is where it was one of three events, I am not sure of the order. First I went outside, it was bright out and I could see a lake from my front yard (I cant see a lake from my house). I wanted to fly, I leaned forward and kinda floated down and hit the ground. I then tried again and started going up but the dream ended. Next was I continued on to the back of my house to my laundry room, I thought of the other TOTM and tada a bar was in my house. I asked the bartender for a shot and he didn't' hear me, I gave up on that and ended back somewhere else, maybe with my wife in the bedroom. Either a different dream or the same one I was headed back from a different part of my house and ran across the bar again. I looked and there was a full shot on the counter. I picked it up and looked at it, there was salt around the rim and I assumed it was my tequila shot. I drank it and it tasted like sprite and lime I guess, kinda fresh. I then grabbed a lime off the counter and ate it to get the flavor gone, plus that is what you do after a tequila shot. I don't remember what happened after this.

Dream 4: I don't remember what we were doing but me and my wife were driving and had just come from somewhere and were supposed to get something. I was talking to her and wanted to tell her about the cool dreams I had last night, she doesn't really ever care when I tell her so I just said I had the dreams and that was that. We were almost home and we realized we forgot something so I turned around in my driveway to go back. At this point I think the supplements were wearing off.

Dream 5: I think this one was one of the last ones but it could have been before my WBTB. I was on some mission to get some jewel or secret weapon or something from some girl in china town or some downtown area. I had some body guard type guys with me who could whoop butt. The guy had smuggled some sort of weapon that looked like an umbrella in his suitcase. I had to talk to some girl and she gave me a code word or location for the thing I was supposed to get. Others were after us and trying to get the same thing. I was some sort of espionage/spy stuff but is pretty fuzzy now.

i was in a school very similar to serra. I could not figureo ut how to get to my math class cause it had changed rooms. i went to the cafeteria and ate alone. there was something special about the shirt i was wearing. then andrea and sam came over i gave them both hugs. one of them knocked the table over and my chocolate milk went spilling all over sam. it was pretty hilarious.

i gave my orange glasses to some asian girl.

.../something about a film played backwards/...

.../I'm with some friends sleeping all together in a room. I want to do something with a piece of wood. There's a little girl sleeping and we don't want to wake her up. Something about a magnet. We go back to sleep/...

.../We're running in couples with a kid. My wife moves forward/...

Morning of May 24, 2014. Saturday.



My brother-in-law seems happy and my sister seems to be alive and with him at the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane (though neither of them had ever been to Australia in real life). They both seem about twenty years younger.

There appears to be some sort of larger spider, nearly the size of a human hand (and I have come to realize that spiders sometimes represent human hands in dreams in a more negative sense - a couple dreams even revealed this more clearly). There are several of this fictional species of spider, all clustered together in a “tunnel” that goes down through the floor somehow, the floor also seeming much thicker than in reality. This is probably loosely related to an association with trapdoor spiders, as the overall look is similar. There is no direct threat, but there is also something about termites falling on my brother-in-law’s head a bit later on. He is also seen walking in the driveway.

---

One way to look at this dream is “needing to get my hands on something” that is under the house (which fell between the floorboards). Something under the house might be dirty and have negative associations, distorting the concept of my hand moving through the dirt as a spider.

So in my dream, I was with a group of people who were surviving during a zombie apocalypse. Things were going well and we weren't facing too many zombies that threatened the lives of the group members. But then out of nowhere we were met with a horde of zombies. I was dual-wielding an axe and short sword, and I fought as many as I could. But in the end we had to run away. We managed to escape and catch a breath, but a moment later we started hearing and feeling a large thump. We decided to cautiously check out what was going on, and it turned out not so great. We saw at a distance a gigantic robot traveling through the land. It's main body was round and spherical, and had long four legs at the bottom. It kind of resembled the daddy long legs spider, but this one was 2 stories tall. We also noticed that all the zombies in that horde from earlier were following it. I decided and told the group that It's not safe to stay nearby it, so we backed out and fled.

Then I woke up!

An earlier semi-lucid fragment - I'd been riding in a car someone else was driving, they took a turn much too fast and swung wildly into the next lane, and I was thinking to myself with some annoyance about how ridiculous dream driving can be sometimes.

There's two women locked up in a circular stone room with no apparent doors and a ceiling so high it can't be seen, like a well or a small tower. I get the impression they're a couple. They're both blonde, one with darker hair and wearing purple, the other with hair so light it's almost white. Hovering around the one in purple is this sort of little glowing gold ball; she's leaning towards the other one, who's unconscious, but who starts to softly glow when that glowing ball gets close to her. They're rescued by people who break through the wall - an old woman and several people I think of as Hunters who've been doing something with a fountain in the center of the room on the other side of the wall. The old woman looks at the hovering glowing ball and calls to the Hunters. "Got one more for you - two!" she adds when she sees that the unconscious woman is also glowing. As they get both the women free, the woman lifts this fancy white horn and says to the woman in purple, "It's yours." And then she quotes a riddle or poem or something similar that led them to this horn - "With the wit, the way." Wit turns out to have been a pun on wet, something to do with that fountain in the other room, and it's those two women locked up who'd figured it out.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

There's a man trapped inside something like an enormous hourglass, tied to a chair in the bottom half. It's slowly filling with this black liquid. I'm following this from the POV of a man outside the hourglass, watching. This is something like a form of brainwashing - the man in the hourglass is on the other side of some conflict, and a serious threat, and we're turning him to our side. But as a 3rd person observer, I'm aware this is going to backfire; we seriously underestimated how insane that man was to begin with, so making him loyal to us doesn't actually mean he won't still be a threat to us.

Still as that same character who'd been watching the hourglass, I leave the room and go to meet a woman I work with for lunch. But just before we start eating, someone bursts in and stops us - the food's been drugged, something connected to that man I'd left in the hourglass. We leave with that person who burst in, and as we walk he's saying, "We all talk about the war, but does anyone remember what it was about?" We don't. He explains something to do with Skins - the gold or silver markings on our skin that remind the 3rd person observer side of me a little of circuits. Mine are gold, the woman I'm working with has silver; in earlier times, we'd have been on opposite sides of the war. We find this an uncomfortable concept.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm a young man walking around our castle at night with a girl from a visiting family. We're supposed to get married sometime in the next year or so if negotiations keep going well. Neither of us are supposed to be out of bed right now, but we both were sneaking around on our own and happened to meet up. Right now we're hiding behind a door, watching the leaders of our families talking in the next room. I'm thinking that the colors they're wearing make them both look like they're part of the same family; my family's colors are red, gold and black, but right now our patriarch's only wearing black, except for the sword pin at his throat, which I think of as "hardly red at all" - a dark red, nearly black.

There are two women sneaking around a castle at night. They'd been intending to escape and then come back when the vampires are asleep and destroy them, but they've just now realized that the vampires never sleep; and on top of that, they've just realized that one of the vampire women here is the exact same woman written about in Quincey's journal. Reading this journal is the thing that made them realize their hosts were some kind of monsters - they don't know very much about vampires at all except what they've read in this journal. So it's a shock to discover that the women in this castle don't age or die, and the idea that the monster in Quincey's journal still exists makes them feel like they can't win. At some point Ephesia is mentioned, a woman's name, though I can't remember whose. One of them suggests giving up on their plan, since it seems hopeless, and tries to convince herself that becoming one of them wouldn't be so bad.

i drempt i was going to coachella in san fran cisco with some family and friends. we got a ride there by a guy in is truck. we hopped in the back and shannon was rubbing my dck with her foot. it was the best game of footsies ever. we got there and my dad kept asking mell to smoke some pot. this probably would be a good indicator that its a dream.

anyway...i walked inside and to get to the actual concert there was like a lil circus you had to go through. there was all these bouncies andd stuff you had to go on before you could go and see the concert. that part was pretty sweet we jumped on the bouncies in pure joy.

i dont think we ever made it to the concert.

May 23, 2014: Dream 2 of two: I am seated alongside the hospital bed of a man I do not recognize. He has a minimally injured right hand which looks like a sprained or broken ring finger, because it is taped to his middle finger as a splint for support. Despite the tape, we shake hands and we talk as the two of us leave the room. We find ourselves standing on the red embroidered rug in the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel/Casino in Las Vegas. There is a small adorable puppy at my feet and I pick it up. It has that “new puppy” smell! The puppy belongs to the man with the injured finger. He says the puppy’s name is Clementine. He is not particularly fond of dogs, but I tell him I love this puppy. It is so cute! I secretly hope he will give it to me. I put Clementine down and it playfully romps with another, larger black dog, before the two of them playfully scamper off. When they are out of sight, I see my wife’s springer spaniel Lacey in the far distance coming towards me from the direction the two dogs ran off in.

I go to leave the casino/hotel. My car is parked in an outside lot, and is the only one visible in the deep dark of the un-illuminated lot. It is parked obliquely in front of where a rock band is set up, so I need to move the car. I get in, and Lynne appears in the passenger seat. A tall woman opens the hatch to the Nissan Pathfinder and puts in a large radio controlled helicopter which barely fits inside. A man (evidently the owner of the heli) yells to her from a distance about folding the blades, and it finally fits and she closes the hatch. I start to back up, but can’t see anything behind me that I might run into in the pitch black. The car gains more speed in reverse than I would like or is safe, and no matter how I pump on the brake with my right foot, it doesn’t slow appreciably. I switch to my left foot and also pull up on the hand parking brake. This slows us down and we finally stop. All the time the car is slowing down I am worried that we might hit something that could penetrate the rear hatch window and hurt me or Lynne, but the car finally comes to a stop without incident. I wake.

5/23/14

Last night, bed before 10pm - 4:45am

Was waking up like every hour, felt like I had enough sleep. Then fell asleep after 3 am and had hell of a time waking up to the alarm.

At first I though there were no dreams, but now I remember more and more

DR

I'm traveling on a bus with group of people. Now, we are in Turkey. Someone says Bulgaria, but I look at a store sign, and from abc it's clear, it's Turkey.

In a house with others, going through it through some trap doors, hidden rooms, twosted staircases, small openings...

Morning of May 22, 2014. Thursday.



I am in a small second-hand book store in an unknown location. There are two unknown females behind the counter which is nearly chest high. There is a table with at least eight piles of comic magazines to my right that, although seem a lot like Warren magazines in overall design are actually (fictional) black-and-white Avengers comic magazines which I have not seen before (possibly from the early 1980s). I put several on the counter to buy after going through the stacks, eventually adding up to about a dozen or more. The younger cashier on the right says that she will take off a certain amount of money from the total price if I buy more, so I look over what I had already put on the counter, and look more at the ones on the table. The total will probably be about $23.00 to $24.00 or somewhere around that range.

I read the title “Avengers” on each cover, but I start to focus on only the covers that feature Marvel’s Black Cat character, all in similar full-body layouts for the most part, although she looks more like DC’s Catwoman. Also, I call her “Black Widow” which is yet another character and more to do with the actual Avengers. There are at least a dozen or more of these magazines I decide to get and eventually decide to only get those that feature her on the cover. However, over time, I have to keep putting the covers back on. I notice that when I pick one up sometimes, the cover is missing and still on the table, which I then put back over the rest of the book. In addition to all that, some of the covers remind me (in overall style of art) of Silver Sable.

In the long run, I only refer to her as “Black Widow” in my dream even though it may be a version of the Black Cat though I do not wish to sound ignorant. The cashiers do not correct me if such is the case.

After this dream, I also realized it could have been relative to “The Avengers” television series, which is unrelated to Marvel’s Avengers. The title in my dream matched some stylized titles of the show.

I am walking through some sort of shop that reminds me of a grocery store, but where I can buy thoughts and states of mind. I order a bunch of loving thoughts. They arrive in the aspect of people. My mind has limited space, and all my thoughts are in the aspect of people, standing up, filling the space of my mind. I rearrange my thoughts to fit as much love in my mind as possible. Wanting more, I begin to drill for more space in my mind. Some of the thought people criticize my efforts, while others support it. I am not really paying much attention to either side as I drill.

There is a manned, and an unmanned option. I choose the manned drilling method, where I have to go down in the hole, and sit behind the hydraulic drill as I operate it by hand. There are lights on the drilling equipment so I can see, but it's still really dark in the hole. Suddenly, I realize everything is about to collapse and crush me. Before being smushed, I transform my minds of Love into super tough clothing that covers every part of me.

The world then crushes in on me, and I feel a strong pressure, but no pain. I see a vision of being in a hallway, with the roof fallen and crushing me. Covering myself with Love seems to have been a good idea in this apocalypse scenario. But it is still the end, and even though I feel comfortable and relaxed, I cannot move, and my life force gradually drains from my consciousness.