• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    Recent DJ Posts

    1. July Competition 19 long and cool lucid

      by , 07-31-2019 at 09:39 PM
      dream starts with sexual content i skip

      ...i walk with the girl and we pass a meadow next to a house. she tells me she doesnt like the city. i say why not its not that bad and its kind of green and other citys are worse. we some dog babys and the mother some of them starts barking but the mother keeps them back and educate them. one of them runs at me and i kick it away. one of them is more like just a face on the ground and morphs into a butterfly. my awareness rises. we reach a canon and i get lucid doing a rc. i ask her if she wants to fly with me and start flying. i reach the ground and meet some people. they are something like superheroes? one of them has a problem with me. i fly further to a woman who greets me in a very friendly manner (maybe with a kiss?) i tell her that in the following 24h i can help her. the group of "heroes" arrives and the guy that had a problem with me pushes me with his thoughts away and laughs. i come back and remember that telekinesis is not that difficult and start concentrating and do a gesture with my hand. suddenly his face get serious and a second later he flys up 5m in the air and crashes in the ground again. i lough my ass of because it looked funny like hell.
      the dream fades and i am in another dream. i do a rc and still dreaming. i find my self indoors. i phase myself slowly thru many layers of walls and rooms and wooden construction out and climb some parts. i am on a roof now and jump from roof to roof. i want to find me some icecream. i jump down and see some people that look like they sell ice on big bicycles like it is typical in mexico but everytime they come closer the just transport paint for some reason. i cant find ice and have a FA. i sit at a table eating icecream. i do another RC and again still dreaming. i get up and look out for icecream again to finish the task. i ask a young guy at a corner of a street. he tells me he doesnt have some but i tell him he should look behind him and when he does suddenly he has some icecream. i am happy and pay him some coins. its ice made out of coca cola. i continue my way and notice i am in the suburban train station. i want to get out but dont want to phase all the way out so i phase straight thru the walls and imagine to be outside and after the second wall flying thru i find myself outside. i fly up a building because i want to see the sunset. after founding a good place to be i do another handgesture to let the sun go down. i am a little out of practice so it doesnt work immediately suddenly there are one or two guys next to me and distracting me with talking shit and how it doesnt work. the sun goes down but the visuals get super bad like in dark night and i start to calm down rub my hands and focus on the dream. i tell him that for his reason i didnt notice the sunset properly. i try to get the sun up again but it doesnt work. i switch the roof and remember that the sun goes up from the opposite side so i turn around and fair enough see a nice sunrise. i jump and fly thru several roofs and found a well painted arty house. i enter thru the roof and explore the inside. there is a lot of art in the rooms. i see a woman lying in a bed and aproach her. i resist to start something and just pass into another room where i see another person sleeping i think its a boy but then it turns out to be a guy. i phase out and think about what to do next and remember Dreamers method of narrating the dream to remember it better so i think what happend so far. something happens and the dream destabilizes but this time its not getting black but white. i go into it and let it happen. everything around me spins and patterns appear a short moment of drawings. i ask a question to the dream: what to do/work? a new dreamscene appears and a guy talks with me he wants to tell me something but dont remember the word in the end he tells me something about a doctor or that i should be a dentist. im not sure about it and ask him what about physiotherapy he tells me that its possible but i wont learn to much there.
      i phase into a house and i feel its mine. i enter the kitchen and eat a fresh cherry and think what to do. i feel like the dream is hell long and try to remember how fast i got lucid so that the REM might be very long. i want to meditate a little but i feel like the dream destabilize
      but i let it go to not forget to much about it.
      Categories
      lucid , memorable
    2. 17 Jan: Love story movie, life in the hood and monster caretaker

      by , 01-17-2019 at 09:27 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      A scene like Charlie's Angels, with mom or friends. We are leaving some restaurant or BnB and some bad dudes are coming in and we notice them. We pretend to leave but we just park our cars strategically out of sight and stay behind to watch them and then do something to interfere with their plans.

      Some love story between some young lady and a young guy. They lie naked in bed, there is so much love. Some day he becomes paralyzed, no reaction, lifeless. Everybody comes to pay respects thinking he is dead, but she refuses to bury him. She sings for him, talks to him, everyone thinks she's gone nuts, but he is not decomposing. Then one day he slowly starts regaining movement and tries to communicate, but there's lots of people in the house. There is one guy who has always hoped to conquer the love of the lady and she is considering maybe allow him in her life. Meanwhile the guy in the bed has gained awareness and his moving his hands, trying to make some noise to get her attention. He is not having much success so he uses telekinesis and starts throwing things around and making a mess. Then I see this story is a movie I am watching and it goes to commercials. My mom sends me a message, needs me to pick her up and take her somewhere, so I stop watching the movie and go get her in a tiny bike.

      I am attending my guru's teachings, it's the last day and everybody is dressed up and I am not. But I am in my hotel room and start trying amazing dresses. I take so long to choose one, that meanwhile everybody's gone. Then the yellow dress that I chose becomes a kind of evil suit that grows green tissue over my skin, including a hoodie over my head. I look in the mirror and I look like a scary elf. I rip it off, but it grows back again and again. I am freaking out.

      Then it gets dark and I am on the streets, sitting on a bench. Two cars from some gang pass by slowly. I avoid eye contact but one guy comes out and looks interested in me. I get up and start walking away. I look back and a guy starts throwing knives at me. I dodge all the knives, then escape to some alley but he keeps coming. He comes closer, but then sits down and hints that he won't hurt me. I hide behind some wall but peak to see what he is all about. He takes out some candy, like waffle with chocolate and ice cream. I dislike but accept and eat along with him. He asks questions, we talk nonsense. Then some girl joins, talks about hard life in the hood, we agree it will get much worse in the near future. Then everybody is running on the street and saying "You don't know? It's Patricia." And we go to the end of the street and see a projection in the sky honoring the fallen from the Hunger Games. Then this girl takes me in. She rescues and nurses mutant and monstrous animals, but they are actually adorable creatures. She puts to bed a kind of centipede with many heads that looks like a plush toy. I cuddle the centipede and all its heads jump on me and lick me like puppies and dozens of other creatures appear jumping and get all over me. So cute.
    3. 18-07-17 Pennywise Grants Power, Kill Bully

      by , 07-22-2018 at 01:01 AM
      Pennywise from 'It' and I made a pact. He granted me a power, telekinesis. I approached a guy who had always been bullying me. He was perhaps 10, and I think so was I. I wanted to just lift him with TK and pull him towards me. To scare him, maybe hurt him. But when he was suspended in the air in front of me, he looked dead. Like, I'd accidentally snapped his neck by pulling him so violently or something. That's when Pennywise began haunting me. I could feel the terror building inside of me as he got creepier and creepier, but then my real-life alarm clock went off and saved me. Phew.
    4. 1,492 Words

      by , 07-02-2018 at 01:22 PM
      I went to bed around 9, feeling very exhausted. Yesterday I didn't do my waking life recall as much. I watched at least 10 episodes of DB Super and played back to back Pokemon Battles.

      My recall level was still pretty good though. It didn't seem like I dreamed much more than what I remembered.

      (zzz)

      Round 1 of Dreams.

      In another scene, I was with C V, O A, and some other people. We were doing some food preparation. There was also something about a meeting. I think some women were saying about what they would or wouldn't eat.

      I was making rice with peppers and other vegetables. I realized some people might want the rice and vegetables separate, so I started to separate them. I was near a fridge.

      Someone else came by and took a bunch of ice. The ice maker looked full and the fridge was full of ice too. I think I worried we'd run out of ice, but then there was some idea about how we could add water to the ice maker, and I wasn't worried any more.

      I saw someone's bowl for food. They had something with sprinkles along the rim of the bowl.

      I had some Pokemon Battles in my dreams. One had to do with a Dragon Pokemon in the mountains. I don't remember everything about that. What I do remember is that I had a Gengar, in the lower left. The opponent Pokemon was in the upper right. It showed our HP meters like the battle screens.

      However, in this one, my Gengar could move freely. So I ran around the battlefield. It was a brown, earthy terrain. I got to a bridge and saw two orbs. Those were energy orbs. 'Wow! Free energy!' I thought, and collected them.

      I was thinking something about how they put the word "Toxic" near my name. "Toxic" is just a status condition in Pokemon but I think it was more of an insult in the dream, which is silly.

      I remember a part where a person had hired big groups of people to do experiments on "scape goats". I don't remember all the experiments, but the last one involved basketball.

      Everyone was running around the basketball court, playing. I think the person was observing the one he'd identified as the "scape goat" of the group.

      There were also some parts in that about telekinesis. Using telekinesis to push people back.

      I dreamed that I felt really tired. I was out, walking around, and decided to just walk into someone's back yard and hang out near their fence. They had a white fence. I wasn't invited and I didn't even think I knew the people. I just thought I could walk into their back yard and hang out for a while.

      I felt so embarrassed when B W came walking towards me. Apparently, B W lived there! He asked about what I was doing there.

      I didn't really have a good explanation. I watched some cars drive by, and thought about stuff. Also, a big bus drove by, and I think it related to a prom.

      B W said something about how I always do certain kinds of things. I forgot the exact phrase. He had very thin brown eyebrows and brown eyes which I think is different from waking life. I haven't seen him in a while, so I don't know.

      I woke up from that, pretty relieved it had just been a dream! I was able to recall it and keep it in my mind until later.

      Something with weight lifting or RS/RM comes to mind but I can't quite place it.

      It felt like I had slept a long time, so I took my Huperzine-A 100mcg and Alpha-GPC 300mg before going back to bed. I am trying to get the timing of that stuff right.

      (zzz)

      Round 2 of Dreams.

      I remember something about two people jumping out in front of a moving bus. I forgot why. They let the bus sort of push them along the road. Maybe it was a kind of protest.

      I remember dreaming about someone who had defeated Goku. I felt sad. I think it was Trunks. Goku seemed sad and depressed.

      I remember being on the road, but maybe walking instead of driving? I think I was with W N. We were turning left to go somewhere. I got a bit ahead of him. I think there was stuff with people from my college house, too.

      I remember more Pokemon Battles. In one battle, I was against a Rapidash, who was using Calm Mind. I figured their plan was to get at least 2 Calm minds before doing anything. I kept using Extremespeed and got them down to 1% HP.

      There was another Pokemon Battle where they had Leech Seed. I forgot who the Pokemon were but one had Recover. I was trying to take out their HP before Leech Seed took me down.

      I remember getting inside, and there were these platforms. I think there was a little spot I teleported to, also. Like a portal.

      I was supposed to walk back up. There were a lot of ramps and steps, and the platforms seemed to be floating in space.

      I had these rocks that I was able to do telekinesis on. I wasn't aware it was a dream, but I had some powers. I had some conscious control of my actions, too, and felt myself using the abilities first hand, but just didn't know it was a dream.

      I was able to put out my hands and pull the items to me while breathing in. I had a sense that pulling went with breathing in. One rock was a little heavier and I had to put my hands closer, but I could still pull it to me.

      I headed up the stairs and platforms, excited to show everyone what I could do. When I got to the top, someone from my college house was talking. He wasn't talking from a religious perspective but he still used the word "sin". I felt kind of ticked off at the religious language.

      I walked by someone else who said, "I hate when they use that word." I was like, "Me too!!!" And felt much better.

      I walked to the back aisle between two rows of seats. The place was kind of like a church. I remember the guy said he didn't like people to speak while he spoke. Normally this would tick me off, the authoritarian attitude, but he was younger than me, so I yelled, "Sorry!" As loud as I could. The place was so big, I could hardly hear myself.

      'I know! I will fly up over the middle row to the other side, and back towards those platforms,' I thought. So, that's what I did. I was able to fly up and over, but it was a little hard to aim for the door. I ended up flying into a white wall that hung over the place. It wasn't a crash, I just gently flew into it and then let myself down to walk from there. Still, I flew!

      I might have gone down into that room again. If I did, I don't remember what was there. Maybe another Pokemon Battle.

      I woke up from those and recalled them. My recall was good. I was happy with the recall. It's kind of a relief to be done writing so early. It's only 7:41 A M and I'm done.
    5. 3,709 Words

      by , 06-28-2018 at 03:51 PM
      On this night I had a much higher dream recall and lucidity compared to the nights before. I think part of that was that I practiced waking life recall again. I had been playing back to back pokemon battles or DB Super episodes but I changed it. Instead of going back to back with those, I journaled about each one afterward, kind of like recalling a dream.

      (zzz)

      Round 1 of Dreams.

      I remember something about a computer lab, and some people trying to contact outer space. Then, I was looking at a television. On the television, there was a row of pictures of cymbals. The sounds from them were used to communicate to outer space.

      Then I was looking at shelves. There were bottles of juice. The bottles had kind of a swirly design around the outside. Almost like a winding ramp.

      Someone said that J A wanted to ask me something. I went to pour myself a cup of the juice. I don't think she wanted any. The juice was a dark orange color, like mango.

      J A wanted to ask me what I thought about having a baby. She asked me if I wanted to have one. It wasn't clear if she meant, have a baby with her, or if she was just asking in general, like some kind of survey. Either way, I was like, "Yeah! I think having a baby would be cool." But of course there's a lot to think about before having a baby.

      I had been leaning back on my chair the whole conversation, without realizing it. Someone to my right said not to lean back on my chair. 'Have I been leaning back on my chair this whole time?' I thought. I tried to make sure all 4 chair legs were on the ground.

      I recalled those and then went to sleep, still re-remembering most of it later... There were one or two earlier parts I didn't re-remember though.

      (zzz)

      Round 2 of Dreams.

      There were definitely earlier parts that I couldn't "reach".

      I remember being in front of a mirror, in a bathroom. Ms. M and J C were behind me, talking to me.

      Ms. M left, but a younger kid arrived, around age 14. He told J C that I liked her! I think she said something about not liking me in that way or something... Or maybe I just expected her to reject me. So before it made anything awkward, I told the kid, "Yeah, I like her!" But explained I liked her as a family friend, and mentioned our camping trips, and so on. I think that eased some of the awkwardness that I felt.

      I told the child that if he kept practicing his speaking skills, he'd be very good at it by the time he was 20. He rode his bike away.

      I remember seeing Ms. G (English teacher) sitting at a little desk. Then I went down a set of long yellow stairs. Each step was longer than my foot. I considered going down them backwards but just went down forwards, feeling light.

      Then I was in a Pokemon battle. My Pokemon had 2 steel type attack moves. One had 75 accuracy and one had 85. I was caught trying to decide which to use. I think I chose the 75% accuracy one because both were kind of risky anyway. It had some kind of silver umbrella thing appear on the opponent's side of the field.

      Then I was out of electricity. I needed electricity from outside the game to use to move inside the game. There was a wire with something I could charge up, right behind me. I went to get the current flowing, but realized the wire was directly touching my leg! I quickly jumped away, cursing. The wire lit up bright blue.

      At one end of the room, there were 3 people on a couch. The guy on my left had on a white shirt. He drew a black line with marker on his left side pocket. He said something like, "Please don't curse like that." But something about his tone really triggered me. It was probably because he failed to acknowledge/sympathize with my panic and fear, and instead found fault with my word selection. I started to curse him out pretty intensely.

      There was someone sitting in the middle. Maybe a smaller woman. I am not sure I even noticed the details of the person.

      The guy on the other side of the couch, to my right, was wearing a grey shirt. He coldly told me that I was being "sinful". This brought up even more rage... The exact reason I HATE religion. Because they failed to notice my actual state (fear/panic) and just judged the behavior as wrong. So it is very abandoning.

      I started cursing that guy out and telling him his religion was stupid. He was physically bigger than me, and decided he would physically assault me! So I tried to flee. I realized that the police would probably take his side, too, which sucked... At one point, he had me pinned down. "[name of diety] wants me to punish you!" He said something idiotic like that. I could see he had sharp teeth when he bared them.

      I somehow got out of that pinning and ran away. I saw myself from outside. I looked like Littlefoot from Land Before Time. He caught me in a net thing, like the collars they use in Animal Control. He had me walk ahead of him.

      We passed through a swampy graveyard place. With lots of grave stones but a few inches deep of water. Wading through there, I got a little ahead of him. I snuck off to the side to hide behind a grave stone, and he walked right by, thinking I continued on straight. He had morphed into a white ghosty kind of shape character.

      Eventually, he turned around, and started coming towards my hiding place. This dream was pretty scary. Not quite nightmare level but it reached around 70% nightmare level.

      I remember it transitioned into another Pokemon Battle. I had a move that only did 10% of their HP each time. I used it for a few turns. Suddenly, it did 25% of their HP, without even getting a critical hit. I wasn't sure why, but one more would have the K O.

      I remember thinking that I don't want to curse out people like that if possible, since they might want to beat me up. But I don't like having to... Filter the way I express my emotions. Anyway, I just remember being in the woods. And leaning my stationary bike on the wheels. I was going to push it up some stairs. Then I woke up.

      I recalled those and went back to sleep. I just made sure to re-play them in my mind enough to form a solid memory. I still re-remembered it all by morning.

      I also took my 100mcg Huperzine-A and 300mg Alpha-GPC Choline at this time...

      (zzz)

      Round 3 and 4 of Dreams..

      I remember being in my Nana's room. I was on a lounge chair near her dresser. I had the land line on the floor to one side. She almost stepped on it. "Don't step on the land line!" I yelled. I moved it to the other side. My sister was there too.

      I went home to get some protein. It was morning, but it was dark out, still. My dad had just got home at the same time. I called out to greet him.

      I remember being in my room at 15. Someone was sharing about religion on a phone meeting. (I heard a share about religion yesterday, involving false loyalty to a dysfunctional church, that seriously pissed me off, so that's probably why i dreamed of it so much. Recovering from religion is a big deal to me.)

      After the meeting, on the fellowship line, I was telling the guy that his comment was stupid. And that his religion is stupid... He kept hearing what I said then taking a moment before replying. Whenever he spoke again, I tried to shut him down again. I remember looking at a pair of black pants while being on the phone.

      Then there was a woman with a book. She was talking about Satan but then she started calling it "Thesatan". There were some other concepts of dieties in the book. She also said that heavy people, with an over-eating habit, might want to make friends with a janitor. Since janitors see all the food people drop on the floor.

      At some point along these dreams I was awake physically in bed. I didn't need the bathroom though so I stayed still, recalled what I could, and went back to sleep.

      I dreamed I was on a phone meeting with M and 2 other guys. But, they were actually there in person. M shared first. He said that he likes "scriptures", but something someone said in favor of them in an earlier meeting had ticked him off. Hearing him mention "scriptures" had ticked me off, too. I was thinking of sharing reactively about it by the time my turn came around. I felt very reactive, just hearing about it. Religion is definitely a touchy subject for me to hear about, unless someone is saying religion sucks.

      I remember being in the guest room, but in the dream context, it was my room. I still felt a little out of place there. My Dad came to the door. "How was your day?" he asked. "Wait! I'm changing!" I said, and closed the door before he could look in.

      I remember dreaming that I was laying in bed, on my left side, like my physical body was. My dad came in the room again. He was angry about something. He said I wasn't allowed to use pencils any more. I think he also said I wasn't allowed to speak out against religion any more. I felt intimidated, and afraid to say anything, but I will speak out if I damn well please. He's not allowed to touch me... Unless he wants to give me a license to defend myself. At which point I will stop him. Anyway, in the dream, he seemed angry at me.

      My dad came in the room again. Again, from the head of my bed, he was yelling at me. Again, he said I'm not allowed to use pencils any more. A little green and gold emblem thing fell onto the bed. It had the letters "D" and "R" on it. My dad went to leave the room.

      I got the hunch that I might be dreaming. I got up. I might have floated up or perched on top of a dresser. Anyway, I asked him. "Dad! Wait! What's the name of the second car you let me use?" I had to "think fast" to come up with a question that he would be unable to answer if it were a dream.

      "Um... Marrion." He said it very matter of factly. Of course, that is incorrect. "No!" I said, and I said the actual name of the car. "You're not real!" I said, and flew up in the air. In hindsight, I probably would have been better off letting him walk away, then enjoying my lucid time, but I didn't think of it.

      I flew towards him and he became a sort of robot with a big white dome top and white vaccuum hoses for arms. I could see him through the slightly opaque white dome. At first I got ready to fight off his white vaccuum hose arms.

      Then I remembered to stop fighting in the dream. I gave the big robot vaccuum thing a hug and said, "I love you!" Then the dream ended and I woke up.


      I stayed still and recalled those. After using the rest room, I played the dreams back some more in my mind, then went back to sleep.

      I re-remembered it in full in the morning. This re-remembering thing is awesome. I never thought it would be possible to remember all the nights dreams, even rounds 1 and 2, in the morning. Without even making notes. I guess I have reached an advanced stage.

      (zzz)

      Rounds 5 (and 6?) of Dreams.

      I dreamed I was in a version of my room at 15. My mom and sister or dad and sister were in the room, talking. I was on a phone meeting. Well, I was sleeping with the phone near me, and I dreamed that I kept waking up to dial a phone meeting.

      'Wait, why am I sleeping with the phone near me?' I wondered. 'It has lots of radiation!' So I pushed it away. 'Also, why am I on the phone when the other 2 are right there? I could be talking with them!'

      Once I hung up the phone, they dissappeared, too.

      I remember being in a bed. I was adjusting my position. I kept trying to put a pillow over my eyes, but accidentally covering my whole face. It really scared me that I would be unable to breathe while I slept.

      Then I remember being in a dorm room kind of building. It was more eventful but I didn't remember 100% from the earlier parts. I know I was lucid though. I was practicing abilities with some other people. There was "William" and there was "Lauren" and one other guy. (No waking life correspondence.)

      I knew it was a dream but they didn't seem to. "William" could punch really hard. Since it was just a dream, I let him punch my hands for practice. It actually hurt a lot, even in the dream. But I knew it wasn't doing physical harm so I let him continue. I think that came from watching DB Super, when they punch each others hands.

      Then I remember having a pain in the right side of my thigh. Maybe it was from the pillow in waking life. I showed "William" that if I used a twig and pressed into the location of the pain, I could release the trigger point.

      He was enjoying punching me so much that he wanted to punch my leg. At first, I hesitated. Then, remembering it was still a dream, I let him go ahead. Behind us, "Lauren" and her boyfriend were listening to a song about "[name of diety] is good" that was really ticking me off. I wanted to ask them to stop the song but didn't for some reason.

      Then "Lauren" and her boyfriend were just being affectionate, telling each other things like, "I love you" and "I always support you" and "I am here for you." Hearing them have that kind of bond brought up a lot of grief for me. As they walked off to the side of the room, I thought of my Inner Child.

      There was some kind of tac in the wall. To the right there just so happened to be a blue shoe box of my childhood photographs. I doubted my ability to "summon" the inner child, but the dream did it for me.

      I noticed one photo looked like my 4th grade photo. I picked it up. I was smiling and had big teeth. I was wearing a black plaid button down shirt with white and gold/tan lines. The next photo was of me as a kid, at a lemonade stand kind of thing. There was a big neon green poster in front of the table. It said, "I Love Narrating Elimos". The lower case "i" in "Elimos" was bold. I think it meant "Elmos" as in Sesame Street, but in a child's spelling.
      The next picture was of me as a kid. This time I had an orange poster. It said "My Russian Robot Bug" something something something. I forgot the exact words. I became very emotional and started to cry in the dream. I don't know if I cried physically when I had woken up but I felt very emotional.


      I had a brief awakening there. I don't remember if I got up, stayed still moved a little, or anything. That's why I wasn't sure if this was 5 rounds of dreams or 6. But I fell back asleep and they continued.

      I remember a part near the dining room of 15. I remember someone was saying how they wanted to get some kind of fat-removal surgery. But they probably wouldn't stop their overeating habit. So they'd just be in a cycle of overeating, gaining weight, getting surgery, and repeating it.

      Someone else said that they were afraid to go to college and get a career going. But really they were alluding to what was underneath the heavy person's condition.

      I remember another part about some kind of underground sewer or cement tunnel. Then I was walking around a building... Being called in to work? When I got inside, the job was to go into a giant bag of dirt, and I guess dig. I was eager to be called in to work, but other people were called in first.

      I remember being in the dorms again from the previous lucid dreams. I was practicing using powers with other people there again. "William" and "Lauren" were still there.

      I forgot some parts but I think we were afraid we'd get in trouble for breaking in. So, we left the dorm. Then, we realized that "William" and "Lauren" actually lived there, so we hadn't broken in.

      Anyway, we were out front. "Lauren" was sitting up on a table. It showed all of our names on the side. "Lauren"'s name was "SEVIL". She had to put herself as "single" on her profile due to a lawyer situation, but she wasn't really single. She said that if she was actually single, she would be in love with me. Wow! That was nice. She had blonde hair.

      I walked around the side of the building. I might have been riding a bike or a car, or flying. I was aware it was a dream. "William" and 2 others passed by ahead of me, from the other side of the building. "We're going to the dining hall! Come with us!" They said. I followed along.

      It changed from night time to day time as we went up the hill. It was a grassy area. I knew it was a dream, but I don't know if anyone else did. "William" was doing amazing tricks on his bike, but couldn't understand how he had gotten so skillful. He did one trick I forgot. Then, a 360 tail whip, and landed back on the bike. I got on the back pegs and he did a prolonged front wheelie.

      After that, he kind of rode or fell down a steep grassy hill. I used telekinesis to lift up some green leaves and tried to lift him back up the hill. Then I noticed the food court area.

      The chefs behind the food stands were saying, "Telekinesis isn't real!" and it was ticking me off again... I was gonna prove them wrong! I started to use telekinesis on some of the purple domes on top of the building, and then the dream faded.

      I was briefly in the phase, thinking I had woke up in bed... Then suddenly I was on an elevator. A guy ran buy, holding 5 big scrabble letters that said "DEILD". He held the letter "I" right up to my face, and I realized, 'It's a dream!'


      I woke up from those dreams and recalled them. My body felt much heavier than usual but I knew I was physically awake. Eventually I used the bathroom and laid back down, to replay rounds 1 through 5 or 6 in my mind, and see if I'd sleep again. Nope. I got up and made the outline of the dreams around 8 A M.

      It was a Thunder Storm last night. I actually enjoyed the sound of the thunder and rain. I like the natural sounds but not the industrial or plane noises.
    6. 17-02-19 Dark Version of Reality

      by , 02-19-2018 at 03:38 PM
      I was in a room with a DC. A younger girl, I think. She had a 'condition', or rather 'unwanted ability'. At some point, she started crying when she felt it coming. We both 'shifted' into a nightmarish version of reality (that was her ability, to move there). It was dark, gloomy and everything looked dilapidated. In the room we were in, we were attacked by a kind of shadow monster. It was smaller than a human (size of a large dog) and moved on all fours, and its legs had sharp claws to them (but made of shadow). There were a few 'lights' on its body, which I assume were eyes. They reminded me of the monsters from the sidescroller game 'Claire', which also features a nightmare version of reality, and a girl who accidentally travels to it. I think I stomped the monster to death.

      I went through double doors into a corridor, but at the end there was the shadow of a person. This dark figure suddenly started screaming loudly, and lit up in flames. The flames spread rapidly, and moved through the corridor towards me. I screamed back, and somehow this 'pushed the fire back' until the dark figure was completely extinguished. I think I rushed at it with random objects laying around, and tried to whack it. The figure telekinetically flung stuff back at me, trying to stop my progress.

      I think I was trying to protect the girl until she could get us back.

      Updated 02-19-2018 at 06:26 PM by 17412

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. 2-13 to 2-14, lucid, telekinesis, flight, establish lucidity

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:27 PM
      Here are the dreams from the night of February 13 to 14. I had a lucid dream in the middle of it all and the rest were non lucid. Feb 13 was a really busy day, so I was probably more tired than usual throughout the night, which led to kind of deeper dreams in a way.


      CTrl+F"lucid" if you want to skip to that part.





      Round 1 of Dreams.

      These dreams were really interesting. I don't remember even one clear detail but it was like I was remembering a bunch of dreams within that dream that I hadn't actually had. I was so tired from the day that I couldn't remember a thing from these.



      Round 2 of Dreams.
      "Eating Quarters" / "Chocolate Hands" / "Flamethrower Police. "

      I think there were some earlier parts that I forgot. Where my memory of this dream starts, I was sitting around with some friends setting up for a meeting. I had my text book for the group and as I looked through it, a 20 dollar bill popped out. I was surprised to find it but the thought if it being a dream didn't occur to me. I asked the other group members whose it was. I was reassuring them that I am the treasurer of the group, and therefore, they could trust me with the money.

      Next thing I remember is sitting at a table with some people including my friend S J from high school, who spoke very quietly. (I am going to switch to present tense and see how that goes. ) S J is telling us all how he remembered his first round of dreams, and they were very interesting. "Remembering the first round of dreams" has significance to me because I often see those as some of the most unlikely to remember, but can be very interesting. S J is at the head of the table and maybe I am too, and someone along the left is asking S J to speak louder.

      Next scene I remember, I am in a room, feeling some apprehension. I have some art which I am attempting to hide. Built into my bed is a long rectangular box, as if a rectangular section is cut out of the bed, for the box to be put into, like it is a hiding place. At one point I am pouring some liquid into the bottom of this card board box. Then I am there with the Land Before Time Characters and we are cowering in fear behind some desks or dressers around the room. We are afraid there is someone or something coming to get us. A dog comes into the room but instead of being fearsome, it turns out to be very friendly and nurturing. We are no longer afraid.

      In the same room there is a scene where I and/or some other people are using spray deodorant. My Dad and Uncle M are talking about some kind of party.

      Next Scene. I am heading down the road past my high school, thinking of being on the way to some kind of club. (Note to self #1*. ) I am battling in my head with my Dad and Uncle about whether or not I should be going to this club, kind of like a partying bar kind of place. As I drive, I notice that some huge trees are laying accross the road in front of the school. One of the trees must be over 100 feet tall. Several workers are clearing all of the fallen trees as I drive through. Now, instead of driving, I am walking. I see some guys on blue skate board things with foot pedals so they can ride around on them while using saws or weed whackers to clear the debris.

      I walk further on and reach a chain link fence. My friends R A and T S are by the chain link fence on their hover board things, clearing debris. I tell them their job looks like fun. As I walk through, people are saying I am so weird.

      Now R A and T S are snapping a football to each other. I walk through the chain link fence.

      Now I am walking by the barber shop in my town and the place I had my first job. It is kind of dark. Some women I know, including M B and other women, come out of the place I had my first job at, and I turn around before they can see me. As I walk the other way, another woman I know from High School is walking along the sidewalk. She has black hair and looks very pretty. I start to talk to her and she morphs between M and S F. I am asking her what it is like to live up in that apartment above the barber shop, where N C lived in waking life. There is a big bay window poking out of the apartment which isn't there in waking life. We are also talking about how it is sad so many trees are being destroyed. As this woman and I talk, the other women come from the direction of that restaurant and now we are all talking.

      I have five hands, each with a different kind of chocolate in them. In each hand, the chocolate is un wrapped and melting. I am also eating quarters. They feel hard and metallic. M B asks to try some of the white chocolate in my left hand. She is also wondering why the chocolate is all unwrapped, and I feel embarassed. I try to explain that the chocolate comes out of my hands or something like that. Two quarters in one of my hands become four quarters. I am not really enjoying the sensation of eating the quarters but I continue eating them.

      An Asian guy walks by with a bunch of coins and dumps them in the back seat of a car that is parked there. I think he is eating coins too. A police officer comes by and puts him in the back of the car. The police officer pours gasoline on him. All of the women and I are feeling fear because of the police brutality. We can't see anything the Asian guy did to provoke this. The police officer blasts the Asian guy with a flame thrower, and most of the flame does not seem to damage him. But his right hand looks all blackened and charred and it looks very painful.

      Now the police officer has me on my back and is pouring gasoline out of a vaccuum kind of thing on my forehead and hair. I am feeling scared what it will feel like to be burned.

      The location changes and we are in a study room within a library. The women are looking from outside the room as the police officer and I are in the room. The tides have turned and now it is me who has the flame thrower and gasoline. I am not intending to hurt the police officer, but I want him to stay in that room, I guess until some other authorities come to take him to prison or something. My Dad and Uncle M from earlier in the dream come and look through the glass window at me. I start to worry that they think I am the bad guy here, and I try to explain how I am not the bad guy. I have taken the police officer's flame thrower because he was using it to burn people and I am only keeping it from him so he doesn't harm any one else. I am still afraid they think I am holding everyone hostage.

      There might have been more to these dreams but I don't remember. When I woke up from these dreams, I was in one of those streams of thought again. I noticed it sooner this time because I identified this phenomenon, and started to think what I had dreamed of. I had a good recall of these dreams.

      I think my dream recall is boosted by how I am doing waking life recall. Throughout the day I lay down and close my eyes and try to pretend I have just woken up from a dream and now I am in bed. So I try to recall what has just happened as if I had just been dreaming. I think this is already strengthening my ability to "reach" for dream details and use my memory.















      Round 3 of Dreams.
      "Establish Lucidity LD" / "Flying and telekinesis LD" / "Pain management technique. "

      (I will go back to past tense for writing the dreams for now since it comes more naturally. )

      The first thing I remember from this round of dreams was that I was looking at a box for a black massage table that could put the body at various angles. I have always wanted something like that for sleeping on my front, and I thought I had finally found it. There was a really comfortable part for my face. I was thinking I need to put that in my room for me to sleep on. (Note to self #2*. )

      In the next part I remember, there is a guy talking about some pain he is having. The "dream screen" is showing how he does mental exercises to help alleviate his pain. The mental exercises involve single consonant sounds, colors and memory exercises. The guy is also saying how drugs are good, and I am wondering how he can afford so many drugs and keep using them to self medicate without anyone finding out. (I don't use drugs myself and I don't recommend anyone use drugs, this was just a dream figure. )

      The next thing I remember, there was an Asian baby who the dream told me to follow. He was some sort of guide. So I am following this Asian baby through this blue maze or crawl space kind of thing which is above the main floor. As the Asian baby leads me along, he is picking up brown rice off the blue surfaces and eating it. We reach a point where it seems I am going to get stuck, as it gets very diagonal and narrow, but I trust the dream guide baby and follow along. Right as I think I am going to get stuck, the whole blue zone opens up. For some reason I wake myself up. (I don't think I was lucid, but I think I decided to wake up or something, not sure exactly what happened. )

      I laid still and thought through those parts, and fell back to sleep.

      In the next dream, I am in a kitchen, hiding some dirty cloths. I am wiping some messes up from the floor and the stove. It is not a house I have been in before in waking life, but maybe I have been there in a previous dream. In this dream, I think I was the only one home. There may have been some food in the fridge I was thinking about. There was more to this part but I only remembered it vaguely.

      Now here is where I become lucidly aware I am dreaming. I am cleaning in a bathroom. I have a plastic bag like a clear produce bag, full of other plastic bags, like what I bring to the grocery store to get produce. I am trying to put it in the top drawer by the sink. There is something else in the bag, too. The drawers keep opening on their own, and I am afraid if I leave the bag poking out like that, people will throw garbage into it. I feel a lot of anxiety about this and try to get the drawers to close, including trying to slide the content of the drawers to the back, but they keep opening up.

      I am not wearing any clothes in the bathroom. I hear my Mom come up the stairs to the room in front of the bathroom and I am afraid she will see my bottom. When i turn around, one door is open, but another is closed, so no one can see into the bathroom. That door seems to have appeared without having been there before.

      I am looking in a giant mirror that takes up a whole wall and I notice a dream sign. It seems like waking life, and I explain to myself how this is possible in waking life. Then, I think to myself, maybe I am dreaming. I almost don't want to be dreaming! I go to do a finger palm test, completely expecting for it to not go through and for me to be in the physical world. Then I see the finger poking through on the other side of my left palm. I am somewhat dissappointed it is a dream! I continue to enjoy the dream sign anyway. (Note to self #3*. )

      Eventually I lose interest in that and now I am lucidly aware it is a dream, there in the same bathroom. I can't think of anything to do. I try to come up with something cool to do since it seems like one of those L D's where there is nothing already going on within the dream. (Note to self #4*. )

      I think of going to outer space, but I don't feel confident that I would succeed at that right now. There is a window I could fly out of, but I don't want to fly right now. I pretty much think if I try anything like that, I will wake up due to instability.

      The thought "establish lucidity" comes into my mind. I do more finger palm tests, rub my hands a bit, and spin around with my eyes closed. While doing all this, I am kind of afraid that it will make me wake up, too. the dream continues though and I do some nose pinched breathing, with two breaths in and out fully. With my dream eyes closed, I see this very vivid, almost neon looking image of a stool. (I wonder if I could have used this to sort of create a new dream within that dream but I was afraid it would make me wake up so I opened my dream eyes again. ) With my dreams eyes open again, I see one of the walls is missing from the bath room. I see a bunch of people in the next room past the bathroom.

      I see a woman I know who is kind of like G D. I think she wants me to talk to her, but it is like I can't decide to really do anything. I see a glass window on the next door up ahead, and my first move is to fly straight into it. I think I will go through it, and maybe impress everyone, but I just collide with it, making a noise. As I do this, two girls and their mom or an older woman are leaving, heading down four to six flights of stairs. I decide next that I will race them down, so I dive headfirst down the stair well, flying down and controlling my flight. They are impressed when they meet me at the bottom of the stairs. I open the front door telekinetically and we all walk out. There is a fence ahead with a closed gate. I fly over it while opening it with telekinesis for the other dream figures. I also notice some white screws and bolts on the ground near the fence, which I try to lift to myself with telekinesis. I am able to successfully make one come to me but the other stay put. I don't feel in total control but I am going pretty well and I know it is a dream.

      I may have forgot the very end of that L D if there was anything else. I kind of think I didn't really get to do the coolest stuff in the world, but I had some fun. Any L D is good practice. Actually, remembering to try to "establish lucidity" was great progress, and I should focus on progress I did make rather than what I didn't do. My stabilization efforts resulted in a longer dream and if I would remember to do another round of that every few minutes, I might be able to go further in exploring an L D. Also, it is my second time trying to nose pinch breathe, and I like it. It feels good to breathe in a dream and it kind of reminds me of meditating, since I am focusing on my breathing. Also, I flew and did telekinesis! That is pretty cool for cryin' out loud.













      Round 4 of Dreams.
      "Baby Guide" / "Nice Hug" / "teeth exposed" / "dad is a car" / "Rock music contest. "

      My memory of these dreams started with me in a market place. There was more stuff before this but the first thing I remember is walking around some shelves in a market place looking at various types of oil. I am talking to a woman near by about the oil. There is a big bottle of coconut oil and another kid. We are sampling some of the oil. The shelf is about shoulder height.

      In another part, there are two dogs both out for a walk. They go near each other and play nicely. This is also a vague memory.

      Now the memories get a little clearer. I am at some guy's house, in his room. He has bunk beds. He has assigned me to watch something on a big television. The picture on the television looks very 3 dimensional. I also notice a bright computer screen to the left of it. I worry that the screen is too bright and I search for and put on my orange glasses. I don't really remember everything about this but it was like I was working for the guy or he was mentoring me.

      In the next scene, I am in a bigger room outside his room. He his rubbing peanut butter or some other type of food spread on a cat's bottom, which makes a mouse go bite the cat's bottom. Then, the cat bites the mouse. I am watching this, thinking it is very cruel, because the mouse might have otherwise not been in harms way. The guys wife is around the scenario. In the context of this dream, my friendship with this guy is very stagnant, but I am not willing to really put more energy into it. It is sort of something I am taking for granted. I dimly want to put some more enthusiasm into it, but I don't feel I can muster it. The guy invites me to sleep over his house, seemingly as a way to be better friends. I felt like I just couldn't handle moving forward in our friendship but I was just feeling stuck. He was standing to my right when he said this. (I remember feeling this way with a girl I was dating in college, just emotionally frozen. )

      Next there is a part with some ramps. My friends J D and J V and others are there. Maybe some young kids or some people that remind me of my Jamaican friend. A lot of this part is vague but in the dream I think it was eventful.

      My friend J V (female) is already with another guy but she has a baby she wants me to hold. She is saying that I should listen to the baby and it will be good for me. I carry the baby around and in one part of the dream it is feeding me pickles from a jar of pickles. I worry that the pickles contain too much sugar or salt and they don't fit my dietary restrictions.

      Later in this scene, I am with J V, the baby, and some other people, watching a movie of some kind of surgery on a projector. I am not sure if it was circumcision or something else gorey. I was feeling really squeamish and I just couldn't handle watching this. I admitted to them that it was too much for me and I couldn't finish watching it. I felt admitting this took a lot of courage and might have helped other people feel comfortable admitting that they, too, needed a break from watching all this violence. I left the group.

      Next there was something where I was taking a disability test. There was this container of blue vitamin liquid that an older man was giving me and one or two other people. I was walking through two shelves thinking I should have asked for the full dose since when he poured me mine, I could tell it was less than what he gave the other guys, and I pulled my cup away early for some reason.

      I was trying to put on two button down shirts at once. The bottom shirt was a short sleeve plaid one with various reds and blues that has a cool zipper on the shirt pocket. The shirt I was putting on top was a long sleeve button down shirt, but I forgot which one. I realized this might be too many shirts and decided to take them off instead, in order to put on a coat without being overheated on the bus. Then I was getting on a bus.

      In the next part of the dream, I was in a place like a mall, and there were women around. I was surprised to see a woman from high school, M E, (those are her initials), and it seemed there were two of her. When I looked from her to the other copy of her, I wondered who the first woman I had looked at was, but I think they were both M E. She looked pretty and I remembered she used to seem to like me. I hugged the copy of her that was closer to me, and it was a nice hug. I was sort of rubbing the sides of her arms or torso. We were happy to see each other. I realized I wasn't wearing my retainer and dental bridge which has my false teeth on it. (I have two missing teeth in the front of my mouth). As I talked to her, she seemed to be looking at my teeth. She asked me, "what, are those colored or something?" and I explained to her that i was missing those front two lateral incizors. I felt kind of embarassed and I tried to talk with my upper lip over my front teeth like I do when i am trying to hide my missing teeth. Suddenly her teeth morphed before my eyes and they had some gaps too. So then we were smiling at each other. I forgot what else happened but I guess I was happy not to be totally rejected, as I usually expect to be. (Commentary: This part of the dream brings up strong emotions since I think my missing teeth hold me back in a lot of ways in life, but I can't afford the surgery. So I don't think I can really date or even be very social due to my missing teeth. I guess the dream wanted me to see this, and although it was some comfort that perhaps I could be in a relationship with someone with dental problems, too, I would rather get my teeth fixed and then be in a relationship with someone with "normal" teeth too. )

      In the next part of this dream I am with my dad, mom and sister. There was something about eating a meal together. My Dad was tired and stressed because he was having difficulty providing for the family.

      There was this part with this yellow leaf thing that was supposed to wrap around something. It opened up on one side to go around the thing, whatever it was, and on the back was a flap made of leaf that I noticed was more yellow than the other side. I was trying to explain to my Dad how the leaf thing has to be wrapped around the other thing but he didn't seem to agree. He was telling me how his Dad was just a car to him. Even in the family photo, instead of showing a picture of his Dad, it showed a picture of a car. I wanted to say that this was not the correct paternal relationship but I was afraid to actually say that.

      Then I was walking at a local nature trail I go to often in waking life. I was carrying one of my house plants and lots of soil kept falling out. I didn't really understand how because the drainage hole wasn't that big in the planter. I was walking towards the gazebo. When I arrived at the chair I was going to put the planter on, I turned around to collect all the soil that had fallen out. I was worried that someone would take the plant while I was walking back through the trail collecting the fallen soil.

      At this point I think I woke up on my front and my head was twisted all the way to the side which I usually try to avoid. Then once I adjusted I fell asleep really soon after that. The weird thing was, I woke up positioned on my left side more, with my neck straighter, but I didn't see how I could have even been laying flat given how the pillows were situated. Maybe I dreamed about being in that sleeping position.

      In the next scene, a lucid, dreaming author, who I have been listening to a lot of pod casts by and just got 2 of his audio books, was writing for some kind of contest where he was talking about his future goals with lucid, dreaming. I was seeing the writing from the first person and I noticed the screen didn't have any blue light filter. It seemed he was struggling to think of anything or feeling discouraged. Some words appeared on the screen but I forgot what they were.

      This part of the dream kind of became a rock song contest. There were two rock singer voices collaborating in a song together which I thought was cool. it seemed like one contestant had asked the other contestant to be part of his song. There was this box with an exclamation mark on it in the corner, like a darker purple box and a yellower exclamation mark, but the whole room was dark, so it is hard to tell. There was something about drug addictions. The judge of the contest was talking about drug addictions. This part of the dream was more surreal and hard to describe. That was all I remembered.









      Round 5 of dreams.
      "Mom heading home" / "Blue ear plugs on Jungle Gym. "

      These dreams were about 2 hours of dozing, sleeping and dreaming. I woke up a little while I thought through some of them and then let myself fall back asleep and dream more.

      I think I fell back to sleep and lost some memories here.

      In the beginning, I was with my friends M R and N H and we were in a food court at the mall. I remember getting something like fries at McDonald's and some other food at another place. I was low on money. I might have toggled to being an employee there. There was someone saying it was unhealthy. This part is really vague.

      One part I remember very clearly felt clear as waking life. But it was very simple. I had the dining room chair positioned with some legs off the carpet and some legs on the carpet. I was doing body weight step ups from that range of motion but as I did them, I noticed that the chair was uneven. So I moved it but then one of my feet was stepping on the carpet while one was stepping off. I couldn't get it to line up right. It was somewhat light out, like it would be during early morning hours as the sun is rising, but on a cloudier morning. The front windows to the dining room had the curtains open. For some reason that very simple part of the dream had a very solid feel to it.

      Okay so then I was in some kind of a school yard. I was on a jungle gym and there was a blue ear plug on the ground. I had another blue ear plug in my hand. There was something about how people with blue ear plugs were weird or something. But I was like, these aren't even mine, I am just here at the same time as they are. Don't think I am weird.

      Then I was in a bathroom and still had the blue ear plugs. I had a tupperware of urine in the sink with the lid on it. It was my more cube shaped tupperware. I was trying to hide it under some soap water or a towel and I was taking a bath. Then two other people wanted to use the bath. I said I will go but just let me dry off and everything. (Note to self #5*. ) The bath became a bed behind me. I remember this one part where I sort of fell out of the bath and fell in slow motion towards the floor. I didn't know it was a dream. As I fell, I fixed my gaze on this orange straw with pink lines on it, like a D and D or seven eleven straw. I remember gazing at it, thinking it would appear in a dream due to the emotions I was feeling in that moment becoming attached to or associated with it. Little did I know I was already in a dream. But I do that more and more now, if I feel a strong emotion, I will notice an object I am looking at and sort of create an association between those feelings and that object. Then in a dream I might notice the object and it could be kind of a dream sign. Funny I was doing that when I was already in a dream.

      There was a little plastic bin of styluses on the floor. I was trying to put a pen cap on the stylus. I wanted to write, so I took one of the styluses and tried to write on the floor tiles of the bath room. I was writing accross four floor tiles, then beneath the first, on the next tile down, about how it is hard to have to make choices. I remember seeing that it was more etching it into the floor than putting ink on top of the existing floor. I was thinking I will never make it as a writer. In the box I was looking for pen caps to put on the styluses.

      In the next scene, I was walking up a road from the water's edge, and I had long hair. I was brushing it and kept getting the brush jammed at the very end. (note to self #6*. ) It turned out there was this weird metal pen cap stuck in my hair that seemed to appear there out of no where. But it was a pen cap similar to the ones in the previous scene. My hair was all clumped up in it and I started trying to pull it out, but it was ripping my hair. Eventually I got all my hair out but was afraid it would be moldy from being in there. It turned out it was fine. It was silver with a blue end. I think I just tossed it on the ground and kept walking.

      Then I was walking down the road more and saw my Mom's old white car in a semi circle drive way of a single story white house. It was my Uncle R's house because of the smoking. Another older white car appeared behind hers, with orange or red tinted windows, and then I actually saw her come outside to leave. It was good timing because in the context of the dream, she was just about to drive all the way up state to go home.

      In waking life my Mom doesn't smoke cigarettes but in the dream she had a cigarette in her left hand. It looked like it had been partially smoked, and had ash on one end, but it wasn't actually burning at the moment, like she had put it out and was saving it for later. She was packing the car. She said "thank G O D for this cigarette." I hate cigarettes and I figured she picked up some cigarettes while staying at my Uncles. But I told her that the cigarette was not a think to "thank G O D" for and tried to discourage her from smoking any more. She hadn't picked up the habit long ago and it would be easier to break it now than later. I felt angry just to see the cigarette but when I realized I couldn't smell it, I didn't totally flip out. My Mom was telling me she was so numb and I knew it was from being active in that cigarette addiction again.

      Then the car transformed into a pick up truck with some mean guys driving it and it nearly ran me over. It was like a red truck and it almost didn't have a wind shield, the way the view of the guys looked through it.

      I woke up and tried to think all of that through. It took a few minutes to even come up with a single detail, but from there, a whole bunch of the dream flowed back into my mind.

      That's all my dreams. Man, it takes a long time to write all this some days, but I would rather remember too much than remember less. I wonder if I will ever have so much dream recall that it will take 8 hours a day to write.
    8. 2-8 to 2-9-2018 dreams (2 interesting LDs)

      by , 02-09-2018 at 03:36 PM
      I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.


      I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.


      I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldn’t sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldn’t sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.



      Round 1 of Dreams

      Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasn’t good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
      At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
      Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldn’t get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really “put on his own oxygen mask first”.
      Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
      We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we can’t give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
      The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a “mindless cardio bunny”.
      I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. I’m sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.



      Round 2 of Dreams.


      It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

      First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

      Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

      There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

      There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

      At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

      I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

      The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

      Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

      I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

      Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

      I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

      I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

      It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

      I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

      After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.





      Round 3 of dreams. .

      I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

      One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

      There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

      This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

      Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

      Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

      So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

      At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

      Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

      She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

      There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

      Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

      I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

      I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

      There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

      Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

      When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.









      Round 4 of dreams.

      These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

      So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

      In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

      Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

      I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

      Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!



      Round 5 of dreams. .

      I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

      The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.





      Other Notes
      Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

      There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.


      Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

      Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.
    9. Potion of forbidden knowledge

      by , 12-28-2017 at 09:38 PM
      28 Dec

      My awareness spikes in the middle of the dream, making me pay more attention to the surroundings. I am certain this is a dream and happy about it.

      It takes a bit to recall my totm intentions and in the meantime I decide to improvize and go bananas with dream control. I start a massive onslaught on the dream environment, initially tking all sorts of objects in sight and later doing impromptu room modifications. It seems to come quite naturally although I am not too sure what precisely am I trying to accomplish. The technique is look straight ahead and modify with thoughts the door and everything behind it, and once changed, bring it back to its original version. <possibly subconsciously trying to integrate a version of the portal from Dr Strange>

      Once I have calmed down a bit, I finally recall I wanted to do task of the month. There was a familiar DC running around so I ask him to bring to me the potion of forbidden knowledge. He gives me a light blue medieval type of bottle and I drink the small amount of liquid it contains. Nothing happens for a while, which leaves me slightly disappointed as I was preparing for some sort of false memory revelation to take place.

      I still feel quite euphoric being in the dream and I recall how you can actually use dreams to improve yourself, including physically <quote below>. At this stage I am very enthusiastic and totally determined to use the dream to influence my appearances and get more muscular. Quite conveniently a mirror appears right ahead, so I look at myself as I try to flex my stomach muscles. As if this isn't enough to get me in good shape, I decide to do some crunches and get on the floor.

      I also imagine myself doing crunches every time I have a lucid dream, as a part of a new fitness routine. I do around 10 crunches with great ease. The movements are really light and pleasant, but this seems to exhaust my concentration and the dream soon ends.


      Quote Originally Posted by Harvard Business Review

      If I dream about doing crunches, will I develop killer abs?

      Yes and no: You won’t really get a six-pack just by dreaming, but research shows that envisioning yourself doing exercises can make specific muscles stronger, so you should get a stronger belly than if you didn’t dream about crunches. In general, if you want to improve in waking life, dreams are the perfect place to do it. 
    10. Being a Helpful Witch

      by , 11-30-2017 at 05:30 PM
      Morning of November 30, 2017. Thursday.



      My dream occurs in two main parts. It has the usual distortions and absence of viable conscious self identity. The only conscious self threads relate to knowing I am married to Zsuzsanna. The rest of my dream self identity ambiguously perceives itself as a teenager, and my parents are still alive.

      In the first part of my dream, I am in the kitchen of our present address (erroneously perceived as of Cubitis, where I have not lived since 1978). The layout of the house is different. Zsuzsanna is present and we are rearranging everything (which we had been doing a lot in real life lately after the storm tore the roof from our house, though that memory is not extant in my dream). There are two special pictures that present a three-dimensional impression. One is very large and displays a two-storey house. The other is similar to the pattern of our present bedroom curtain but features only one cheetah.

      I marvel at the large image of the house and its three-dimensionality. (It faces north when aligned to our present home’s layout.) As I change my position in the room and move my head, there is vivid imagery that looks as if the Venetian blinds in the house are closing and opening, depending on where I stand, though this relates to the angle I am viewing the house from, not the blinds actually moving. At least one bright light is on inside the second floor of the residence where this intriguing Venetian blinds effect is seen, which involves at least three windows. There is a sense of both pleasure and awe. (The windows are about five inches high.) The joy I feel is probably based on liminal realization of modulating my dream with threads of my conscious self, yet my dream self not actively comprehending this factor.

      I am then looking at the image of a cheetah (about eight inches in length to start with). I am able to manipulate the image by moving parts of it with my fingers, to make it smaller or larger or change the proportions. It does not become distorted no matter how I move different points of the image. Its three-dimensionality is similar to one of those toddler’s board books with the additional features implied to be fur or other textures (such as “Touch and Feel Wild Animals”). The clusters of fur on the cheetah image growing and shrinking depending on how I alter the image with my fingers fascinates me.

      Later, I notice my father standing by the doorway of our shed (our present shed, not the one in Cubitis). He is dressed in an unusual colorful outfit and has a large white beard. I go out and see that he is trying to move several large parts of machinery, one that looks like a small motor. Not being lucid, I still use a type of telekinesis. I am aware that the combined weight of the objects is quite heavy, yet I touch one (the smallest object) and all the other objects connect to it as if magnetic. I effortlessly lift everything and my father seems grateful. I realize that this means I am a witch. I place them out in the backyard through a fictional doorway on the east end of our shed.

      From here, there is an incorporeal and unseen male character that is somehow only partially present. There is brief talk with him about a fairy being a great wizard. My father walks to the west end of our shed (where the main door pulls up in reality). It is open to the street. There are at least two black horses facing north that I lightly pet. My father expresses no distrust or wariness of me being a witch.



      A shed or warehouse represents liminal space during the waking transition in a specific part of the sleeping period and is a factor of memory recall and storage. Horses as this dream’s end marker represent my “return” to my physical body in waking. The health or condition of a horse often relates to the health of one’s physical body or recent mental states (or that of someone known). (For example, after a classmate died, I had a terrifying dream of a horse falling down and suffocating in front of me, after it came through the doorway of our homeroom classroom, both a result of his death, and the unsteady state of my emotions at the time.)

      In one of my dreams of yesterday, I was a guardian angel “from the future”, helping a fictional character rendered as the actor Jonathan LaPaglia to fulfill his supposed destiny with his future wife. Then, in this one, I am a powerful witch helping my father. I manipulate imagery (though that was implied to be the nature of whatever technology was present) and effortlessly lift heavy objects by mental will (and not only do I lift them, they stick together magnetically in a very long cluster nearly as wide as the shed). There seems to be no difference between a powerful witch and an angel in some cases, at least from my dream self’s viewpoint. (My wife Zsuzsanna has appeared as both an angel and a witch in my dreams, including prescient dreams from before we met.)

      The Venetian blinds represent the virtual division between the dream self identity and the conscious self identity. The fact that I am not surprised by my telekinetic abilities validates liminal dream state awareness and liminal dream control (that is, with no realization it is a dream, yet having endless powers to create and control my dream state experiences). I certainly would not have this expectation or act as such when conscious.


      Updated 06-05-2018 at 04:16 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    11. I, Carrie

      by , 09-20-2017 at 03:20 PM
      Morning of September 20, 2017. Wednesday.



      This dream is vivid from start to finish even though I deliberately change my identity twice (by way of non-lucid dream control). Instead of my most common form of dream state initiation (water, which symbolizes the real-time dynamics of sleep), it begins with another very common dream state indicator, that is, “still” being in bed. (The difference of course relates to sleeping in the waters of the womb in the first months of life in contrast to sleeping in bed, though the dream state initiation form may be incidental.) My dream self’s memory is mostly limited to not much beyond the age of twenty.

      The bed turns out to be in a new version of the Loomis Street house. It is in the living room. There is much more space on the north side of the room than there was in reality and there is also a vague association with our Gellibrand Street apartment of years ago (though I do not reflect upon this while in my dream). The bed is in the northeast corner of the room, aligned to the north wall. I am on the left side (which is atypical as I have mostly been on the right side in recent years when sleeping with Zsuzsanna, though this is probably related to subliminal reinduction). My brother-in-law Bob had been sleeping on the right side. My sister Marilyn is alive and as she was in the late 1970s (with no memory of her having died in 2014). She has not yet decided to go to sleep. I am seemingly aware my mother had recently died (though she died in 2002).

      Anita comes in through the front door and asks Marilyn if she had been in the bed sleeping, mentioning “all five people” in the bed (even though I had only been aware of Bob being in the bed). I turn more to my left, very close to the edge of the bed. It seems that Anita had picked up and kept an American quarter that had fallen out of my shirt pocket. More coins fall onto the floor from my left shirt pocket, including at least three American quarters and a few nickels and dimes, but these I retrieve and put in my right pants pocket (as I am apparently wearing blue jeans in bed).

      I then get up and start practicing telekinesis by willing objects to fly into my right hand, mostly cups, empty soda cans, and dishes. “Did you see that?” I keep asking Anita and Marilyn. There is no surprise from them.

      I go outside and it seems to be late morning (even though it had been nighttime seconds before). I fly about six feet above the ground but mostly hover and loudly screech. The unfamiliar neighbor to the south has a few children playing in his yard. I decide to go over, via the alley, and apologize for my behavior, as it may have frightened them. I explain to the man that I am “Carrie’s brother”. For a short time, I puzzle over the timeline possibly being wrong, as Carrie and I are supposedly around the same age and I perceive it may be the late 1980s. I then show him my telekinetic ability. I will small items to fly into my hand from a distance as well as an empty cardboard box that had been put out for the garbage collectors. The other male seems curious but not afraid. “I can lift a house,” I explain, “or a car”. (I have the usual false memory that a house can be lifted into the air and set back down with telekinesis without destroying the foundation, plumbing, or electrical connections.)

      There are many scenes after this where I go into a building and show my telekinetic abilities to several other unfamiliar people, mostly males of about twenty. I continuously will, over and over, mainly cups (though other items as well) to fly into my right hand. I perform such acts at least thirty times as others watch with mild interest. It seems effortless and triggered by softly imagining the feeling of already having it in my hand. I also eventually cause cups to slide across the table away from me (not nearly as common a dream event as willing them to me). The others find it amusing when I do this. For some reason, this seems more important and impressive than drawing objects to me.

      I then decide to be Carrie herself. I am beginning what seems like eighth grade in an unknown school. While sitting at a long table with a few others in a row, I will pencils to fly into my hand from the table in front of us. One unfamiliar boy directly to my left looks at me and the pencils flying from the other table into my hand, but does not react - as if he cannot see or understand the world around him. He looks somewhat arrogant but completely clueless. I reason that, unlike the previous witnesses, many young people have no perception or understanding of the world around them, so unusual or unexplainable events are not perceived as such at all.

      From here, I notice that the top layer of skin has come off around the base of my thumb and partly across the palm. There are clumps of dead skin here and there that I peel off. The flesh underneath is pure white and very soft and smooth. Curiously, I do not notice that my hand is reversed in orientation, that is, when my palm is up, my left thumb is on the right (instead of my left thumb being outward to the left with my palm up as it should be). It is very vivid, with an augmented sense of touch (though no pain) and I never take more notice to this impossible hand orientation despite the clarity.

      In the last scene, I fly around above Sill Street, mostly to the west. (This is a very illogical location and focus for my dreams, as it was of little significance in real life and not seen at all since 1994, and yet has peculiarly become more common over the last few years.) This seems more of the closing credits to a movie. Curiously, instead of music associated with “Carrie” (1976), I hear an altered version of the lyrics and music from “Sybil” (1976 television miniseries). However, these are the same incorrect lyrics I sang in the 1970s, even playing the music on my accordion and electronic organs. I perceive Carrie (Sissy Spacek) as singing them. Instead of “Mirror mirror in my mind”, I always sang “Mirror mirror in my heart” (so much so, the real lyrics now sound “wrong” to me). Instead of “Come as a dream, ribbons of rhymes”, I sang it as “Fashions and swirls, ribbons and curls”.

      Interestingly, Anita’s reference to supposedly five people having been in the bed may have deliberately foreshadowed me playing the two other roles before waking. Coins often relate to coalescence and the level of subliminally perceived neural activity in the dream state. Since early childhood, I have always been aware of very distinct differences between dream self modes, including passively non-lucid, non-lucid but willful, non-lucidly in control (being aware of making and controlling “my world” though with no direct recall of what a dream is), passive lucidity, willful lucidity, apex lucidity (total and sustained willful conscious creation and automatic linear control of the dream including deliberately symbolic waking transitions based on fifty years of day to day experience where certain long-term forms of conscious thought automatically integrate into unconscious states), and other distinct levels of unconsciousness, including entirely abstract where my existence seems to be as a letter of the alphabet or geometrical form, sometimes with unusual and unique mental rituals, or the repeating of a phrase to “perfectly” assume a physical position prior to waking.


      Updated 06-09-2018 at 06:11 AM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    12. Summerish Competition - Night 14

      by , 09-15-2017 at 12:46 PM
      I am on a street and look into a car. i hear a girl say "hey daddy the tires of the car are on the edge of the pavement." i notice that i have to pee. i see a underground garage. i walk down and notice that it is monitored. i notice a sign for toilets. one is for women and children and the other one for men and elder people... i see a lot of doorbells and a closed door. i find the same symbol again on a doorbell and ring it. the door is pretty far away and i only hear the buzzer shortly but when i reach the door it opens. i enter and see some pallets with contact lenses? i seem to have an appointment and hear a woman wants to advice me. i have shortly the thought: "hm contactlenses in a dream? what an effect". i remember that i want a toilet and move away and go for the bathroom. i see a sign that shows again the toilets and enter it. Next to it there is a Sign: "Lucid Daniel". And this makes me lucid. i stand infront of a pissoir and as so often i know it makes no difference if i piss in the dream or not because the feeling i have is from my waking body. but instead of not pissing at all i just dont bother and piss in big circles on the ground.
      a friend of mine is entering and we start talking. i have a false awakening where i feel myself lying horizontally and opening carefully one eye. i close it again and find myself in the dream again. i stand around with same guy and do a nosepinch to be sure. i find myself infront of a bridge. there is a tabletennis plate standing. i want to make it go with TK but in the first moment nothing happen. i am irritated if i am really dreaming but i am sure so i try with more willpower and it flies away down the bridge. i want to play some tabletennis and ask my friend if we want to play TK TT over the whole bridge but he declines. i throw something to him but he throws it down the bridge. i focus and concentrate and the thing comes back via TK into my hand. its a 2€ coin. i let it fly a little bit around and shot it on the ground where it pins inside the concrete. i also have a 5€ bill flying around and i TK both the bill and the coin. i shoot the coin next to a random guy right infront of his feet. my friend notice that none of the dc´s seem to notice me but i answer him that they dont bother me out of respect.
      we enter a building and walk around. we want pass a door and go outdoors again but finally i take a moment to concentrate on what do to with the lucid instead of trolling around and i remember my 3step task. instead of open the door i just phase thru. and enter a white room with with walls and ceiling. i want to start flying and i start hoovering but for some reason i dont move. (the idea was to fly thru several walls and teleport this way to a new scene)
      but again i feel like waking up and have a FA. i sit next to another friend and tell her about the dream and she seems to be excited. i am wondering if she is talking about the dream and if told her already. a kid is entering and she takes her on the arm and walks away and i wake up for good.
      Categories
      lucid
    13. “Stealing” from the Preconscious with Telekinesis

      by , 06-19-2017 at 12:19 PM
      Morning of June 19, 2017. Monday.



      My dream starts out with my dream self (with at least some present conscious self identity threads, though not that many) being in an unfamiliar library in semidarkness. I am aware of an unknown female (seemingly in her twenties) who had been looking over a number of supposedly ancient religious books with the hope of gaining some sort of understanding of her life as well as personal power. However, I am also aware that there is nothing here of any value for her when considering my own opinion of her activities. She does not seem to be aware of me at first. I assume that I am incorporeal at this time, though I am corporeal in the last part of my dream. Looking at the pages, they are singular lines of hieroglyphs rather than a discernible language, somewhat like small sketchy icons (a carryover from a couple previous recent dreams). It seems to be some sort of ambiguous distorted combination of Aztec, Olmec, and Buddhist cultures.

      In fact, there seems to be something in the back of my mind regarding this distortion, as some of the icons seem to represent Olmec colossal stone heads as well as Buddha heads and figures, yet there also seem to be some Aztec symbols. This reminds me of the New Age movement, primarily based on modern charlatanism and fallacious occult systems, which unrealistically combines anything and everything in an unlearned, unrelated, and wrongful sense (including all the fake products for gullible believers in the 1980s, such as free radical “guards” one wears, which only had internal circuity to make a small light bulb flash on and off to make it look like it was doing something). I begin to feel sorry for her, even though the books themselves may otherwise be of some historical significance.

      I end up sitting at a rectangular wooden table with her sitting across from me, as well as there being a presence of about six or seven other unknown people. A few of the additional people are at a table that is perpendicular to the one I am at.

      She is using a calculator for a reason unknown to me. Soon, I cause, via telekinesis, the calculator to rise into the air and come over into my raised hand. The others do not seem that surprised and she does not seem to object. She then has a fifty-dollar note in her right hand, which I do not clearly discern as either American or Australian (though it is more like an Australian fifty-dollar note relative to its darker golden color overall, though with no plastic or transparent content). She is holding it up as if ready to spend it on something (though this is not logical as we still seem to be in a library).

      I use telekinesis again to will it from her hand. However, it rips and she still has a large section of one corner between her fingers. Feeling slightly guilty about this, I try to unite the pieces back together with telekinesis and additional mental will. Even though the piece is eventually reattached, with associations of manipulating the resealing of the tear like a zipper, I cannot fully seal the tear on will alone, plus, the corner now seems slightly out from the rest of the bill and at an angle (This would not be possible in reality, as the area of the paper would require it to be of the exact shape when coming back together for the correct fit. It would not be possible for there to be a gap or extra paper beyond the perimeter implied as here, as the distorted trapezoidal upper right corner relative to the front of the bill now appears a bit bigger than it was). An unknown male at the other table “reminds” me that he had told me not to use telekinesis in this way (though I do not recall this actually having happened before).



      This dream utilizes non-lucid dream control. (Despite this, I am still technically the personified subconscious as I am not consciously aware of my conscious self identity and status.) This is evidenced by the fact that my conscious self certainly does not believe in telekinesis even though my silly dream self typically does and uses it effortlessly for the most part (more so in non-lucid dreams than lucid ones). Instinctual dreaming (non-lucid dream control) renders most forms of dream “interpretation” as pointless. If the fictional temporary dream self differs so much from the current conscious self and its present status, why would one assume there is significant relevance to the current conscious self (other than with literal precognitive threads, some of which are not revealed until many years after the dream). Although the manipulation of an object with telekinesis is technically a type of flight, I do not classify it as a third-level flight symbol unless more clearly defined or evidenced as such in my dream. It still seems to imply a factor of real-time dreaming and waking symbolism as in “not being fully grounded”.

      What is going on here is a very typical metaphorical biological “showdown” between my non-lucid dream self (aka personified subconscious) and the personified preconscious (which is often transpersonal and unrelated to the conscious self persona, and thus which I assume in some cases comes from the collective unconscious) of the type which I have experienced all my life since early childhood. I am taking from her, the symbolic form of my critical thinking skills (the calculator), which do not viably exist in the dream state, and thus I am initiating my own waking symbolism which is why the preconscious does not object (as its purpose is to either wake the dreamer or instigate emotional factors related to waking from the dream state out of biological necessity; for example, if you do not wake you go into a coma or die - it has baffled me since early childhood how so many people do not realize that this is one of the main functions of dreams, though unlike what some “experts” claim, not the only purpose). The inability to fully repair the fifty-dollar note may symbolize two completely different factors, the first relating to, in being in the waking transition, unable to subliminally reinduce the dream state (as I am not lucid), and two, being that fifty is near my age, may relate to the biological impossibility to completely restore my physical body to as it was in my youth. (The symbolic “pulling up of the zipper” in attempting to fix the note may also be a waking precursor simply related to getting up and getting dressed.)


      Updated 09-08-2019 at 04:38 PM by 1390

      Categories
      non-lucid
    14. LD 94 - Going to Space with a Car (My longest LD so far!)

      by , 05-15-2017 at 04:26 AM (Letaali's Dream Journal)
      I follow a magpie from a cave to a snowy mountainside and a pine forest. I think about how high up they can survive, what do they eat etc. I find these magpies interesting. After following one of them to the edge of the forest, I manifest a body and start making my way through the snow. I look at my analog watch, which has blue and purple lights. It's 5 am. Explains why it's dark. I really want to make it back to the hotel before others notice I've been out all night.

      Darkness.

      I'm suddenly inside a building I don't recognize. I'm happy being lucid and start looking for a way out. I pet a dog on the way out and hum a song to keep myself calm. I think about a sunny yard outside and the dream takes me there. I see my oldest friend Niko outside, fixing his car I assume. The house is surrounded by pine forest and there's a couple on the vast yard. I go talk to Niko. I tell him we are in a lucid dream. He doesn't answer, but smiles faintly. I summon a purple baseball and throw it. I control it's flight so Niko can see we are in a dream. The ball makes a loop in the air. I decide to use vocal commands too. "Return!" The ball starts flying back to me. I attempt to catch it, but it hits Niko in the head. I throw it again and tell it to return, but this time I remove the ball's momentum before trying to catch it. It stops completely just before reaching me and falls down. Well, whatever...

      Niko's little sister and a random female DC appear on the yard. I think about the DJ post I'm gonna write later and decide I should do something cool like magic. I point my finger at the random DC and yell "Abracadabra!". Her clothes change, she now has a short black skirt. She seems impressed by my magic. Then I decide to focus on my personal goal. I tell the girls and Niko that we are going to space. I ask them to get into Niko's red, futuristic car. The girls are vocal about getting the front seat, I don't care. Niko drives and I sit next to him. I touch the roof of the car and tell the car to fly. It starts to fly and after a bit of struggle we clear the treetops, but then Niko takes us down and follows railroad tracks. I ask why and tell him to fly up. We dodge an incoming train and clear the power lines. We talk about Niko's experience with flight simulators. Niko takes us down to a road as we chat. It gets really hot in the car, everyone is sweating. I do a quick RC by counting fingers and tell myself this is a lucid dream. I ask where we are driving. Niko says he's going to get fuel somewhere safe. So that the people looking for us don't immediately find us. I accept this and notice street signs are in Estonian. Apparently we are going through Estonia to Russia to get fuel. I start thinking about how I transform the car into a real spaceship once we make it to space. I worry about leaving Niko and the girls alone in space when the lucid ends. I tell them I'll make the spaceship good so they don't have to worry. Girls have some doubts about my skills.

      And I woke up. Low level lucidity, but really stable. Should have just driven the flying car myself. Old totm is the only thing I recalled besides my personal goal.
      Categories
      lucid
    15. More fragments.

      by , 05-02-2017 at 06:13 AM (Awake to take in the view...)
      Last night, I only slept about 6 hours because I had to leave at 4:45 AM to catch a 7 AM plane flight.

      So the only dream I remember was some guy asking about tuplae.

      I also took a nap for pretty much the entire plane flight in order to make up for lost sleep. I had a (not particularly vivid, but ok) dream that I was going through airport security again. I realized that I had already gone through security, so I had to be dreaming! I then tried my new telekinesis reality check suggested by someone on here, and it worked quite well. I think I walked through security without finishing, saying something like "screw you" to the guard (I promise I'm a nice person irl c: ) and then used telekinesis to throw some random toy guns around. It worked great!
    Page 1 of 18 1 2 3 11 ... LastLast