side notes

[I just came down sick, so the only dream I remember is a feverish, tense one about being in a walking race where in order to succeed, you have to move your leg in slow motion in such a way that it crosses certain three-dimensional boundaries and surfaces in exactly the right way. Somehow you weave your foot's trajectory with the trajectories of other people's feet, and only one path can win. The dream was very closely tied to my own struggle to make it through the night in the face of fever and shivering and cramps. I woke up also at around 4:30.]

[Monday, November 19th, 2012]
(Plenty of dreams, but I don't remember most of them. I finally decided to jump up and record the last one for once.)

The last thing I remember- I'm in Bashas with a bunch of other kids from school. I decide to go steal something while no one is looking since I'm hungry. I go to the Pharmacy section but notice kids surrounding the area. I instead turn around and head for the deli section. People are here too. I hear someone ask, "Do you prefer raw raspberries or blueberries? ... Raspberries." And then Cassidy Solpher asks, "Does anyone want to try some of my home cooked meal? It's fully cooked but I can't eat any yet." I then started eating a warm pasta off a shelf, there was beef, alfredo sauce, big long noodles, and mushrooms.

<I woke up.>

First entry, not exactly sure how I should start it off.

A few nights ago, I was able to recall 4 dreams and explain each of them to my boyfriend when I woke up and started a Skype call. Normally, I'm left confused when I wake up because of how vivid my dreams are. I am often left scrambling to the surface, especially if I'm trapped in a nightmare. I can never tell the difference between a dream and reality.

With that being said, however, because my boyfriend is so into dreams (lucid, wild, and just about anything to do with dreams really), I've started to notice things in my dreams that would normally make me think "I'm just dreaming". The stupid part about this though, I'm 90% of the time not even in control of my body, it's like I'm running on autopilot or I'm in a video game or something.

Anyhow, a few nights ago I had a strange dream where I went back in time (I'm not sure how many years, but my neighbors weren't there anymore so I'm assuming more than 10 years ago), which made my surrounding world appear in black and white. In most of my dreams, I'm being chased by something, and in this particular case it was a man with a really messed up face. Trying to recall the dream now is hard, because I didn't really care to hold tightly to the details, but the interesting part was going into the little "Sam's Market" about a half mile from my house. When I walked in, color was retained again and for some odd reason it was more like a 7-11, not like how the actual layout of the store really is. I wandered up and down the isles, picking up a twinkie and then putting it back.

I can't remember much after that, to be honest.

I honestly think the only reason I had a lucid dream (about a month ago) in the first place, was because I was talking about it RIGHT before I went to sleep, I was playing unblock me (which ironically helps me ease into sleep) and I had been waking up every hour (pretty sure I have insomnia of some sort).

I guess I just have to do reality checks every hour for a week until I can try and become lucid in my dreams. I don't really fancy being chased around all the time.

This isn't exactly a dream, but I felt like It was worth posting.

HH

I was having trouble entering my inner world, or at least perceiving it. I decided to re-form it. The ocean where the lone island once sat had become a desert. I found the Desert scene slightly boring, so I changed the sand into a seemingly endless gold-colored plate with circular rune-like markings engraved into it. a circular elevator rose out of one of the round grooves near me, so I got in and descended one floor. Inside everything took a futuristic steel-bunker look. as I enter, I can feel the entire plane becoming riddled with tunnels being built by my subconscious, becoming a labyrinthine structure.

I go back to the surface and add a holographic Jungle with holographic animals on a whim (later I was attacked by a holographic jaguar but I just stunned and absorbed it). Going back downstairs, I rode the elevator several more floors down and created a portal room. The portal itself was held in place with a large machine on an elevated platform. The portal gave the entire room a blue glow as it gently pulsed and sputtered. Beneath the platform, there was a computer slightly off to the side of the staircase leading up to the portal, intended to set or change the location the portal is set to go.

I typed out the word, "Denn" on the screen, as it was the first place to come to mind. After I pressed "Enter" the portal immidiately started glowing orange and pulsed more rapidly, changing it's output location. I saw some white, medieval-looking buildings through the portal. I decided not to enter at that point in time and shut down the portal. I noticed what appeared to be numerous portal rooms throughout the complex, each with a small faint glow, so I shut them down too.

I ingested a traditional tribal "flood" dose of Iboga, a oneirogen that induces a waking dream state for 12 - 48 hours & has been used for centuries by the people of Gabon as a coming of age shamanic plant. Basically you're Lucid Dreaming while awake. I decided to take the root when I found out about it & how unlike hallucinogens the visions you receive from Iboga are not vague or open to much interpretation. Many people see parts of their life replayed, they feel the pain or joy their actions caused. Some see deities or significant people in their life including people who've passed away. Some people claim it's the tree of knowledge of good & evil from the bible.

It was risky for me to begin with because I have a heart condition & Iboga is very intense on the heart. The idea is to experience complete ego death which is followed by all the visions. Going through hell to get to heaven. Knowing this I decided to take the root right before going into the emergency room so in case if anything happened I would be in good hands.

I was really yearning for a spiritual aspect to my life which had been lost. All my life I was told what to believe mixed with my own beliefs & thoughts about all these different possibilities. I felt as if it would be best for me to experience what is true for me spiritually myself. So I decided ego death & true transcendence along with visions of my life would give me some answers. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.



It started to come on subtlety at first, in the emergency room waiting area things became very dim & dead looking like all the warmth to colors was slowly being sucked out. I started to feel as if I was riding some giant wave of reality in isolation of everything around me. Like the world could swallow me whole at any moment. I started to get worried because the waiting room was full & only 30 minutes into a 2 day experience I could already feel some effects. I kept trying to stress the fact I had ingested something that could send me into a psychotic break, get sick, or kill me. That I needed to be in a bed with a heart monitor & people who could check on me & bring me water while I began to purge.

I eventually get to a room & there's a bed, I'm questioned by doctors nurses & staff constantly as I'm starting to trip. I tell them I ingested it for spiritual purposes & that I should avoid being overstimulated. I purposefully brought a long a sleeping mask & my phone to play music to help move things along. As soon as we made it to the room all this was taken as a precautionary measure to ensure I wouldn't try to hurt myself or someone with it. They kept questioning me for what seemed like an hour. The first part of the trip felt like my body was trying to escape reality, the conscious voice in my head got increasingly paranoid about death, going crazy, saying something wrong to the doctors or nurses. I increasingly was drawing a complete blank as I was being questioned, I kept saying umm more & more as thoughts escaped my mind. My consciousness was becoming consumed with fear as I lost the ability to think & create a coherent sentence. One doctor made me feel guilty saying I ingested a hallucinogen & I was wasting taxpayer money in my "recreational pursuit". This was a search for truth, for meaning. Eventually I asked to be left alone trying to avoid over-stimulation after I answered the same questions about 5 times to 5 different people.

I drank some water which was brought to me & my heart starts pounding like crazy, I hear this intense buzzing in my ears that sounds like I'm near a high voltage transformer or surrounded by beehives. My heart is spiking off the charts on the monitor & I'm told I went into VTAC Ventricular Tachycardia (where your heart beats so fast it could stop). I'm so nauseated & worried at this point I purge into a bucket this green liquid, it looks like I puked up part of the hulk or Nickelodeon slime. I start to feel this energy building at the base of my spine, like hot magma or electricity charging up. At this point my heart is going so fast I'm convinced I won't make it through this & that before I knew it I would be moving onto whatever's next. At this point my ego is just screaming in my head like it wants to murder me, "You're going to wake up insane, you're heart is exploding get ready for the pain, you're dead.. nice job".



Eventually after what seemed like hours of fighting between death & my mind I accept death. With acceptance I slowly start seeing with my eyes closed - red very strongly, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, then violet. As this is happening I feel that magma, that energy, that electricity building at the base of my spine slowly move up as I accept my fate. I kept thinking of mercury moving up a thermometer. With complete acceptance I jolted out into the universe a soul past the purple into an infinite white light. Being a part of it but there was no sense of "I" no me, no body, pure spirit & an overwhelming sense of connectedness & unconditional love overwhelming every ounce of being. Being one with the big bang, forget infinite energy, light, the realest thing you could sense in there was pure joy, bliss, unconditional love, complete peace. No thought, stillness, nothingness, the void.

I wake up sometime later after being moved to what I learn later is the ICU. I'm incredibly lucid & the personal visions are starting to come, I'm so lucid it's like the power of lucidity carried over into waking life. I imagine this medical light on the ceiling that looks like a mushroom cap stretching & changing shape. As I believe it stretches it does so & it really seems to work when I send it unconditional love from my chest. I imagine stretching it so far with love I eventually break through the ceiling into another room.



The first room I broke through into was like a dusty old worn down house with cobwebs all over, wooden floors, a broken window, & it looked like something no one would really appreciate. I notice in the dream I'm wearing clothes that appear to be like Link from Zelda. I'm greeted by two groups of people to my right. One of which is very happy, joyful, they have an inner-childlike sense to them. Curious, compassionate, encouraging, happy to be alive. They're cheering me on & saying great things about the room appreciating everything. I get the sense this is what I must do to move on. Love the room impartially, seeing the good in it. The other group of people seems miserable, they're void of color full of grays & find fault with the room saying things like "Ewww". I decide this is not the direction I want to take & I break down the wall by loving the place I'm at.

I end up in another room & another they're all very similar except each consecutive room is characterized by things of the chakra system. It seemed as though I was breaking down walls to move energy from the 1st chakra (the root) to the 7th chakra (the crown). The root is at the base of the spine & the crown is at the top of the head. A hierarchy of energy from the base of the spine to the top of the head; from the physical aspects of existence to the spiritual. Overall all the same lessons were to be learned. If I hesitated in loving a room, in breaking down a wall I was sent back to the beginning. It seemed like my visions were very influenced by the video games I played growing up. After a lot of tries I made it to the heart chakra (the central 4th & central chakra, the point where the physical aspects of our world become intertwined with the spiritual). Tibetan Buddhists believe the heart is responsible for the white light I saw, the white light people describe seeing before death right before moving onto the next life. Once I got to the heart alot of the questions I wanted answers to started getting answered.



I wanted to know who my soul mate was, what the meaning of life is, why we're here, what is truth for me. The first answer I got was about my soul mate. Right before the trip I was torn between this girl Windy & a girl Samantha I had just met who reminded me of Windy. Then it seems as though Windy had forgotten all about me but she holds such a big place in my heart I wasn't ready to move on. A free spirit, a soul that burns in the night with a deep passion for life, a fire within that you only read about. Her way of living inspired me to begin my spiritual journey which led me to this point. Little did I know there's a reason I dream of her almost every night, why I get Deja Vu around her so much, why when we first met I felt us both gaze into each others souls & I had this incredible sensation like we had met before. Iboga showed me we're soul mates & now I'm left waiting for the right time, for a chance to be her friend. If I ever get that chance I'll make it last until the end. In the vision when I reached the heart chakra I heard my voice boom out loud like I was asking who my soul mate was, it happened automatically like I didn't even have to think of it. It was like because I wrote down all my questions before taking the root the questions were already programmed into my subconscious to be asked later. As soon as that happened Windy appeared on a green lotus flower platform suspended in space & from there she yelled "Kenny! I love you! with such enthusiasm it warmed my soul. I heard her say "We're meant for eternity, our love will stand the test of time". The platform symbolized her heart chakra as I was on mine we communicated our love & our platforms moved together suspended in space until we were together & hugged & kissed with such passion I could feel a beam of love going from my heart to hers with such pure joy & ecstasy it was as if we became one in that moment & our souls were in complete bliss just combining with the others counter part.

Every part of this experience seemed more real than waking life & everyone I saw that I knew personally seemed to be their true self, like the inner child in them was fully out to be them-self, they were so creative & enthusiastic & passionate about everything they did or said. That alone was inspiring to me, passion is a big part of a joyful existence. Enthusiasm, joy, an inner curiosity & appreciation for everything. Every moment. Being true to yourself & not letting your mind convince you to hide or discard aspects of yourself. We have to laugh at the mind, our fears, doubts, insecurities, repression, limiting beliefs. They're all the enemies of progress & reaching our true potential I feel like I got the answers to my other questions through breaking through the walls & becoming one with the clear white light, pure consciousness, connectedness, bliss, joy, I'm a part of everything & everyone as they're a part of me. Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe & we have to learn to appreciate everything we do have. I live in America & have a car, a guitar. Do you know how amazing that is? We should all be happy when our basic needs are met because some people don't even have that luxury! Don't wait until you're nearly dead to start being grateful!

This by far was the most beneficial experience I've ever had even though it almost killed me it's like every day is a gift now. When the experience was over I was exhausted & slept for quite a while, when I woke up i saw the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen from my hospital bed & I was so grateful to be alive, I made sure all the doctors & nurses knew how much I appreciated them taking care of me. I still laugh because when I woke up the kept asking me all these funny questions in case if I had gone crazy.. You did this for spiritual reasons? You said you were selfish before? Do you think eating is selfish?



Beliefs shape our reality, lucidity will show you that so take what you learn with lucidity back to waking life & meet your true potential, that is my foremost goal. Don't be afraid to explore, reintegrate lost parts of yourself, face nightmares with love & see what happens. Lucidity is an invaluable tool. In my second lucid dream ever through belief I was able to experience that ego-less state once again & I woke up feeling great! I highly recommend reading "Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self" by Robert Waggoner if you get the chance. I'm now completely committed to Lucidity for life. I ordered the Remee lucid dreaming mask & I'm so happy, this marks the beginning of my dream journal here & the beginning of my journey to the inner self. To reintegrating every last lost part of me. Healing what I rejected in the past & facing any & all fears. Going on adventures to space, Europe, Australia, Africa, Egypt, the Amazon all with my soul mate Windy who is still in my dreams almost every night (I bought an engagement ring by the way) & I'm saving it until the right time. Thanks for reading! I hope maybe I can inspire someone to strive for lucidity or to just go after their dreams I know my beliefs aren't for everyone. Happy dreaming

I'm going to add all the LD's I remember before I registered for Dreamviews. There were 19 different lucid dreams I remembered where I was completely sure I was lucid. I'll also add 1 lucid I've had since registering that I didn't count originaly and one I had a couple nights ago. I will only add to my lucid count if I'm completely sure that the dream was a lucid dream and if I am lucid for more than a few seconds in that dream. I believe these changes will result in the most accurate count. In the future I will also be posting only my more memorable and interesting lucids. I might make a couple changes in the layout of future entries as well. I feel doing these things will result in a better experience for those who choose the view my dreams.

Hopefully I'll be able to post lucid #41 after tonight!

Just a heads-up, if you don't know about my tulpae or don't know what tulpae are, you're going to have no idea what I'm talking about here.

Okay, so, I was on the tulpa.info IRC channel, and Kayleigh was possessing my arms so she could type. I had to try to force control back because I remembered that Link was supposed to be the one possessing me, since we're the ones working on possession IWL at the moment (Kayleigh and I haven't started yet). Then I woke up.

When i heard about Lucid dreams several months ago I immediately had 2 very clear and simi controllable dreams then for a while nothing had changed.. When i realized they were rare even though i was hunting for them.... i began to think maybe its just one of those things i can't enjoy. Until about week ago (well a few days it was the Saturday that just past) and it was amazingly clear and vivid and I believe i may have done an OBE too. Now i thought i should go back to Dream Views after all I owe it to them and myself to share the experience but i didn't want to relive the the lucidity Drought like the first.
This very morning i had a Lucid So clear and Vivid and controllable that it made waking reality pale and the sensations and imagery was so clear (except my reflection)
that i knew i was getting better at lucid dreaming.
So now I'm going all in!!

I took 1000mg of valerian root last night and found myself venturing about various locations of my dreamworld. Places I don't remember being in a long time. Going to take 500mg tonight along with a few other things...

...Been doing a lot of scoping around the DV forums and this choline stuff keeps popping up. Then I found this thread about peanut butter and the amazing (although slightly inconsistent) results many were getting. So I did some research and found out I just happen to possess three of the highest choline having foods in existence; Flaxseed, soy lecithin and wheat germ. The wheat germ was the big score. 100 mg in half a cup. You might be wondering why I have these odd things. I'm a part-time vegan so I have a lot of weird shit like that.

Anywhoo. I think I'll take a combo of the three; 1 gram of lecithin, 1 ounce of flax and a tablespoon of wheat germ. Which should pump at least 35-40 mg of choline into my sleeping body.

Whee!

No recall.

No recall.

[Although I did wake up feeling unusually relaxed and well-rested. I suppose that was probably due to the end of Daylight Savings . . . but it would be nice to think I had a really peaceful dream that I just can't remember any more.]

[Saturday, November 3rd, 2012]
<I lied in my bed, after stretching and meditating for a good long time.
I told myself and whoever would help me, that I needed help having a meaningful dream. Or a lucid dream.
Falling asleep- I instantly began to have dreams, just cloudy ones. I woke up after some time. And re-thought my
intentions to wake up and not move to enter into a DEILD.>

The next time I wake up, completely still.
I feel my body frozen and numb.
I will myself up out of my bed towards the front end of it.
And find my back to the wall.
I repeated in my head-
"MAINTAIN CONTROL. MAINTAIN CONTROL."
But I struggled and got excited and woke up.
I rose my head out from the covers and thought-
"WAIT, THIS IS ANOTHER DREAM."
Suddenly, the darkness in front of me was transformed...
into odd colors and sounds. Spirals and fireworks.
The door had an outline of light that was separated from the door itself!
I got excited again and...

<Then I woke up for real.>
<Through my excitement, I still fell back asleep.>

I'm in a mix of Safeway and Target. I go back with Nathan and Alex to the back of the store. I find a dark corner
where no one goes and in the wall, there's a panel missing. I crawl into the panel and sit there for a moment in the
dusty old grey... and feel... a strange deja vu wipe over me. I find my old, golden, thin-frame glasses that my
Mom's been looking for over two years to find.

<fast forward in dream>

Scientists figure out how to create God, and the head of the company in charge is talking to the father of "Morel
Orel"'s Orel. They're in a dark room with a spot light on their wooden meeting table. Orel's Dad sat there in a dim
meeting room as one of his lead scientists said:

"We've been able to create women, doughnuts, nipples, cars...the whole works!"

Orel's Dad squinted his eyes and said, "Ooohkaayyy. Riiiight." In mocking disbelief.
The scientists went on to tell him that he was to receive cars and money and new technology.
He owned half the company apparently!

I remember a faint impression of being in Nevada or a desert area and I saw large satellite dishes.

<fast forward in dream>

My twin brother had a book that would allow him to have whatever he wanted.
He just had to write it in a blank page.
He was mad at me for some reason and was threatening to write me away.
I grabbed the book and held it shut, we both tried forcing the book out of each others hand.
He tried to cut my hair with a pair of scissors, but I got my head away.
I grabbed the scissors and pretended to cut his hair until he let go of the book.
Then I ran into the other room and hid the book.

Ok so because I attempted to do wilds last night or actually it wasnt my real intentions but it ended up happening anyways I was unable to dream very well. Im not mad though, because tonight I realized I am now remembering my dreams starting from the very first Rem cycle. Their Fragments right now but hey, its progress.

Ok so I first had a fragment of me walking down one of the isles in my office building and realizing the company was shut down. I was extremely sad because I was afraid this was going to happen and now I wont be able to save up as much as I could.

Had another Fragment, slightly longer of me in my bed during the midday with my brother sleeping on the bed beside me. I had received a call from my friend Dasean earlier to hang out but I didnt want to. I dont remember this happening but I just had a recollection of it in my dream itself. To my surprise when I slowly got out of bed, I heard someone knocking on my window. I knew who it was going to be and of course it was Dasean. When I looked through the blinds and saw him, he said he needed to talk to me but when he told me that, I heard my mom walking down the hall. I raised my finger to indicate to give me a min. When I saw my mom walk by, I moved the blinds and opened the window a bit. I asked whats up but then I heard my mom again so I quickly closed the window and blinds. My mom came in kind of suspicious but didnt notice anything. She asked me something I can no longer remember and she left. When I opened the window again, Dasean was on the wall to left waiting and again when he was going to ask me something my mom came in all of a sudden. I instinctly closed the blinds and she asked what I was doing. I said I wanted to look outside and she believed me. When she closed my door, my dream ended.

Had one more first Rem dream even longer then the last, of some friends I dont really know and I, driving in my car to somewhere. I know that we were getting ready to go smoke because one of the girls had a bunch of joints and blunts rolled up. My dream was a little all over the place because next thing I know one of the kids im with is injured and we needed to take him to a doctor. While driving we saw a firestation and thought we could just bring him to them and they should be able to heal him. I pulled into the station and while walking with the injured kid we placed him on a platform under a pavilion type roof just outside the station. I told some of the people I was with to go in and get help so they did. While waiting one of the girls decided to light a Jay and I quickly stopped her and told her that first of all, she didnt double wrap it so itll burn quickly and second of all we should wait till the firemen take care of the injured person. She understood and gave it to me to put it out. My dream switches me to a pool right below the platform because I assumed the firemen were going to take a while and while chilling in the pool one of the girls I think asked to have sex with me but I denied. Then some guy got mad for whatever reason and threw one of the fat blunts in the pool. I quickly picked it up and threw it out in hopes of drying it but i knew it was ruined. At one point in the pool, I looked up at the stars and could see all the constellations regardless of it still being bright out. I saw an alignment of stars that I knew for some reason would come together on December 21, 2012 (When the mayan calender ends) and on that day something wonderful would happen. Woke up somewhere around there.

After waking up from the last dream, I stood awake for about half an hour to meditate and get a drink. After meditating, I tryd to go to sleep but just couldnt for some reason no matter how clear my mind was. I was getting frustrated because I knew it was because I drank fucking Soda before bed! (Sorry for language)

After about half an hour of no sleep, I turned over to my most comfortable position. After a few more minutes I began to see a beautiful woman laying on her back in bed almost as if she was right next to me. I knew she had just got done having sex with a man and she wanted him to stay with her longer but I thought to myself almost as if like I was communicating with her "He's not going to stay, now that you gave him what he wanted". She seemed upset to hear this or realize this and when he leaned in to kiss her I saw his face. He had short blond hair and was pretty good looking. After the kiss he said he had to go and she left her alone, more disappointed in herself then sad. While this whole things played out, I felt my body begin to vibrate tremendously and I heard that whooshing sound again get louder and louder the more clearer the vision played out. When I began to realize what was happening and knowing i was entering SP and a possible dream, I woke or interrupted the process again. My entire body was literally burning up, I was sweating profusely from what im assuming is the vibrations.

It took me a while to fall asleep again with little time to actually dream fully again because of work. I managed to get a short dream of my friend Nicole sending me txt messages of her naked. The first text said "Enjoy " and the rest were pics of her in different positions.

I wish to ask you guys a question if you can answer in the comments. How do I remain calm and relaxed when I realize im going through SP?? its really hard to mantain a calm mind once i know whats happening and one more thing. Does your body begin to burn up in heat as well through the process?

[Wednesday, October 31st, 2012]
I'm at Circle K, picking Alex up. I park it and walk inside. I have to go to the bathroom pretty bad, so that's the first place I remember heading. I walk in, and the door won't shut because of boxes and other things in the way.
I try pushing them aside and get it as closed as I can. I see Leila trying to help me, but I can't close it all the way and I give up. I end up stealing something, like a pack of gum or candy bar... and it was almost subconscious how I did it.

I walked outside of Circle K, Alex must have been waiting on me forever in the car. I get out there and Alex is spraying something on the tires and rims. She had an explanation like that it was to clean the tires or make them work better. I shrugged.

Then I noticed the car was parked HALFWAY up the hill, almost completely on the wall.
"WHOA. I did NOT park like that." I knew for a fact that I would never park like that.
"Well, you did." Alex assured me.
"No, fuck that. I did Not. I never park that far up."
I tried climbing up the hill and it was almost too difficult to do that; I almost slid back down.

"Fuck it."
I ran back down the hill to calm down for a moment. Turning around, the car is on the ground, down the hill. I don't think anything of it, and I hop in. The car starts, and I roll the rest of the way down the hill...
It won't brake very well. I throw it into Forward and... It goes forward. I park somewhere else and try braking.
But it doesn't brake... hardly even slow down. Alex want's to go say something to someone inside, but I stop her-
"Uh, Alex... the car isn't working. I run over the curb and fall off a small incline and land on the road in front of traffic.

"WHOA WHAT THE FUCK AUSTIN."
"THE BRAKES AREN'T WORKING."
Me and Alex were driving away from Circle K- And my car wasn't braking anymore.
"The brakes must have been clipped." I suggested, I started driving slowly through the backroads.

<I wake up.>
<I roll over and fall asleep.>

Now Alex is driving, and we're headed to my Dad's to see if he can fix it. The brakes are working for now. We turn the wrong road, but I don't realize it until the road becomes narrow and lines with hedges. She turns left at a strange Fire Department building. With the garages closed, but a Cop car parked in front. We turn around and park... and stop for a moment... We get out and walk around.

There's a couple really sweet vehicles like Mustangs and a black sports car here too now. Some other people drive up, get out and look around as if they're tourists. They admire the cars with us, and then I decide we should leave. We get in the car again, and have a small arguement that leads to us being grumpy at each other.

"FUCK" I stop myself. "I'm stopping, I'm stopping." I bang my fists on the steering wheel once.
"I'm not talking to you like this." She starts grabbing her stuff and putting it in her bag and opens the door.
"Wait! I'm not even angry!" Frustration kicks in. Why is she mad right now?
She starts walking away.
"Oh come on, please don't do this!" Tears well up in my eyes.
She turns around, "Stop crying. There are people around here!"
I wipe my face and realize my face is soaked with tears now.
We start walking again.

"Apparently, Seth is up ahead. He's crying over something too." Alex let's me know. We walk on a sidewalk that runs along several buildings that came out of nowhere. A group of people are sitting on the ground listening to a British exchange-student friend of ours. She hasn't been here in almost a year. But everyone is listening to her tell a story. We weave through the people, ignoring it- and I see a few people sitting down up ahead.

I light up a cigarette as we reach Seth. Alex and Seth start talking and I tune out. I take a drag, and exhale. What am I doing here? I wonder for a moment... Then Alex starts walking the other way. I follow suit.

As we reach the exchange student's circle again, someone hands me a paper with the story printed on it.
"When We First Kissed" by Hellogoodbye begins to play and the words change to match along with the song...

"Sometimes,
Making points on white neon boards
Is like,
Pulling stars off the black sky"

(My first dream lyric. And it's not exact, but it captures the point.)
<My dream ends and I wake up. "When We First Kissed" still playing in my head.>

I would like to write a little article about the dangers of lucid dreaming and projection. Take only what you feel pertains to you in this article. On this earthly realm, there are beings who like to sabotage and hurt others, some unconsciously and some willingly hurt others, and at the same time themselves. Sometimes they set up various traps for you to get caught up in when you project, although most of us do have mechanisms to keep us safe. The ones who don't most likely won't learn to project or lucid dream. Think of it kind of like in the ocean when fish intuitively know when something is about to come up and eat them. They sense the water around them and if something moves that puts them in danger, they fucking jet the hell outta there. We all have this sense. It was improved in the agility of cats and other mammals and was dumbed down in the humans with all this shitty food evryone eats and poor practices of the mind but o verall we have this sense. Make sure to pay attention to it when you project and lucid dream.

Another good piece of information to know is that you are a multifaceted being with pieces of yourself mostly likely in other places while yo uare here right now reading this. Make sure you keep yourself and the other parts of yourself safe when you prject. You'll notice sometimes when you "suddenly and unexpectantly" wake up in a dream, lucid, you'll be somewhere you've never seen before. You probably switched your awareness to another aspect of your being existing in a different place. When you leave that awareness and wake up, that dream or place continues. That place is not separate though and is affected by multitudes of other dimensional existences, including your life here on earth.

Here is an example of how you can be sabotaged: There are beings who like to make a copy of your spirit or projection and do stuff with those copies. To the unaware, they will most likely dontknow hat happened. But to the aware ( hopefully you) you should know that if ever does happen, you should use your mental and spiritual powers to make sure your projection stays intact and isn't damaged. Your imagination is key here to your protection. Most people won't deal with these beings though, but if you do/have, you'll know intuitively who it was if you are sensitive enough. Also know that the more you awaken, depending on where you live and what you've been exposed to throughout yourlife, the more you will be suppressed by seemingly outside forces. The two most dangerous forms of attacks, from what I have experiences, are psychic/mental attacks, where people try to throw you or an aspect of yourself you are not aware of into a dense state where your awareness drops and the second is by sexually attacking you. When you share a sexual experience with someone or something, they get access to your goodies, so to speak. So don't sleep with people who you feel will hurt you in that way and be careful when masturbating. DOnt masturbate to stupid thinks like tentacle porn ( I have when I was young and it was an incredibly stupid thing to do) and dont masturbate to people on the internet. Porn in genral is a good way to have yourself infested with a whole bunch of spiders, negative feelings, and life force drainging, so dont do it. If you really want to masturbate, do it creatively, something that comes from your higher self.l. Or just find someone who is a good compliment to yourself. Sex is not a purely physical thing, it is about sharing energy, so dont give your energy to vampire sucking douchebags! Also most people on earth are vampires so yea just be careful about that shit.

So anyway, when you have nightmares and stuff, pay attention to what it is that occured. It could be anything from a premontion of something that could happen (if it is this, try to figure out what the deam can be alluding to. Premonitions occur because the foundational energy grids work like mathematics and you must realize our lifes are incredibly predictable when all everyone does is stick to doing the same things every day (school, work, party) even if you plan on moving to another state or place, your choice could be very predictible and thereby a warning can be sense in dreamtime and meditative states. when yo uwork out the calculations of current energy patterns+plus your past life and current life energy patterns+ the enrgy patterns of family and other variables it = your most likely predictable choice which could be negative if it clashes with another energy pattern (Ie: choosing an airplane flight when 6 months before someone decided to bomb the airplane you happened to go on. of course you would have to take into account whether that person will be caught.) it's all very intricate but major things can usualyl be sense by yourself in dream times states hence preomitions. ) to an aspect of yourself that needs a perception change in order to heal. We all carry parts of ourselves that need healing if we want to become more lucid in our lives and dreams. So be careful out there!