side notes

Last night was my first night without being high at all for quite some time, and this is officially my day one of no smoking. I've read that cognitive deficits from weed should disappear within about seven days of the last usage regardless of how long or how many times it was used, so hopefully within a week I should start seeing some good improvement to my recall and vividness.

I was stressed out as I went to bed last night and so I wasn't expecting my dreams to be anything spectacular, but as it turned out I didn't really get anything at all. I had one of those insomniac nights where you just roll around in bed working through (usually stressed) thoughts that make perfect sense at the time but are hard to recall when you fully wake up, and you feel like you kind of slept even though you can recall just tossing and turning in bed all night. I used to have them quite frequently, so it's no surprise that one would happen as soon as I stop smoking. This is actually an interesting subject to me though, as I've read before that those times are actually NREM dreams where you just feel like you're still awake but really your low-functioning consciousness is just sort of delirious and feeling overexerted.

I've been looking into the differences between REM and NREM lately and found that one of the big things is that acetylcholine levels are very high during REM but very low during NREM. That makes me think about hallucinogens, particularly dissociatives (NMDA receptor antagonists) and deliriants (muscarinic acetylcholine receptor antagonists). They both have core effects centered around lowering of acetylcholine activity, and they both have a curious side effect of being able to cause you to see your environment through closed eyes. They also, especially deliriants, both inhibit your ability to think rationally to a degree (or completely, depending on the dose). I have to wonder if there's a link between the two? Could it be that these NREM insomnia dreams are actually just the same low acetylcholine levels causing us to see a projection of our rooms (or wherever we're sleeping) behind our closed eyes as we roll around in our sleep and think poorly-formed thoughts?

It's hard to say for sure because I don't know exactly what part of the brain is responsible for that effect, I just find it interesting to think about. I guess that's about all I have to say for this entry.

No recall.

I've been reading Robert Waggoner's book so I took the opportunity last night to ask my subconscious a question. I had to ponder the reply a bit, but in the end the message made a lot of sense. Cryptic, yes, but felt very relevant.

Color legend: Non-dream Dream Lucid

Lucid #34: The Dinosaur Petting Zoo

I'm walking down a suburban road on a cloudy morning. I look up at the sky, noticing the way that the sun gently illuminates the back of the clouds. Even though everything in the scene feels as real as waking life, I know this isn't any place I've ever been before.

When I shout up at the sky, my voice is loud but takes on a slightly buzzing, almost robotic quality. "Tell me something important!"

There's no response, but I hear two dream characters chattering across the street. There's an Asian lady in her early 60's, dressed in a silvery fairy costume with puffy sleeves and fairy wings. She's talking to a young girl. (Her granddaughter?) I approach the lady and decide to talk to her directly.

Me: "Will you tell me something important?"

Her: "Yes. I'd say that you're not usually afraid, but sometimes you let yourself get scared."

Me: "When should I be less scared?" I can see the scene shifting around me. The house behind her is turning into some sort of white wall, but I ignore it for now, keeping my focus on her.

Her: "You're the kind who won't try the dinosaur petting zoo."

Me: "The dinosaur petting zoo?" Now her face keeps changing. She's becoming younger, then older again, her hair lengthening and shortening while we talk.

Her: "Yes. You're the kind that will walk right up and make a donation... and then be afraid to go in yourself."

I see that we're in a bustling airport terminal now, all white walls and windows. The lady has become a young woman, and she smiles and turns away. I lose her in the crowd.

Briefly, I consider exploring this new environment but decide that I want to remember every detail of this conversation so that I can think more on it later. No more exploration, and no DEILD. Time to just wake up.

No recall.

More problems...trying to use WILD more effectively in the morning

Hey, This dream was really memorable. The beginning part is really just the introduction, and not really when the action start. So I bolded the part where the actual adventure start.

I'm at school. Or what is supposed to be my school, but this looks different compared to real life. anyways, I'm walking to class and then this situation comes up. (this is during the morning time, when school just started). On of the staff from the office comes up to me and say that they've made a mistake, and that they have put me in the wrong class. (let me tell you that in the dream, it feels like i've been in this school a hardy long time, so i got used to everybody in my class. now there making me change). I am shocked, and pretty resistant at 1st (as in i say things like I can't leave now) but then give in and go to my new class. Some people, like Tabria, was in this class (and she was in my old class) but i didnt seem to put 1 and 1 together. So here i am, doing work for the class and i can actually remember it. the teacher, whom i also know in real life, is are chemistry teacher. she handed out this stack of paper and told us to do that. she was giving us work all day, and i think i was just ignoring the work. something else was on my mind i just didnt know what. A few other small things happened during that class day like how a saw mychelle. she was sitting behind me. When i turned around she just smiled. another thing was that i was walking in the class and i saw my headphones on a chair. it was broke!!!! i swear i was so heartbroken by that. It wasn't broke beyond repair or anything. it was just that the back of on one of the headphone split apart from the rest of the base, but it was still dangling in mid air by a string connecting them together. So i'm trying to fix it when Tabria ( a girl in the class) comes out of no where and says " hey that's my headphones". i swear i know she's only saying this to piss me off. But she has this really serious look on her. but i already also know that she's good at fooling people with her expressions. i tell her " no. it's mineS" and we just stare at eachother for a while until she gives in and say "I'm just playing", and smile. jeez.
[This is a side story to everything because i don't know when this happened exactly. Well i'm in this room with these to other kids from school (uche and Brandon). They are playing this video game, most likely a parady t call of duty Black ops 2. Brandon and Uche are both using a controller, but there is only one tv and they are not playing on split screen so i do not know what's going on. Until i notice the second, smaller tv that Brandon is looking at. I literally get sucked into the games( like i usually do when i look at a videogame for too long) and i am the guy uche is playing. Long story short, i hide, i try to assassinate, i fail, i die. when i die i come back to real life]

class is over and i find myself running out. I am looking for someone. I am in a serious hurry too. (I forgot who i was looking for when i woke up though) I rush outside, i feel like i'm going to slow. my belt loosens up and i have to adjust it while running, slowing me down. by the time i get to the busses, i cant find him/her. I ask someone if that person rode a bus and they told me that he walks home. I gave up on the idea that i was going to find him/her today. I see Alyssa, Christina, and some other people who i forgot near this door. I followed them inside, and shut the door. Then we just hung out there for a while. There was a time where it got really emotional ( not for me, for the girls). like Alyssa was asking me what is christina to me, and i'm like " a Friend". Christina looks disappointed, and Alyssa says "what about a best friend?" and i'm like " thats what i meant." christina starts smiling and i just push her around playfully. we're all sitting down btw. there are other conversation going on but the feeling i felt the most was love. I felt like how things were now, it wasn't so bad. It was time t leave. Christina and Alyssa had to get on their busses.

I opened the door........ Something is different. something is wrong. for starters, the world in general felt different, like everything changed when we were in that room. like the whole world changed without us. More physically, the environment we were supposed to see changed. the busses we were supposed to get on were gone. There were kids here, but they didn't seem like kids. And it's not just because they were holding guns ( didt want to forget to mention that). They also looked un-human, but human. We were quiet. all the people who were in the closet didn't say a word. We had no idea what we were seeing. We just started wandering together on this path. I wonder what was going on in everyone else's head. for me it was just nothing. well not true. i was wondering what happened to my family. We were walking past this crop field when we saw this white van. A man was in there. My first instinct was to get away from him. He said he was going to take us away and recruit us or something. i wasn't going to let that happen. so I ran. I don't know if everyone else ran, but i guess it didn't matter since it only looked like he was coming for me. When i first ran away from him it looked like i was already far enough to be considered safe away from him (tsk tsk tsk) he threw this projectile that made this explosion a few meters away from me. I fell to the floor. I started hearing his van come closer. i would be kidnapped if i didnt do something, so i started running away from him. all the while he was saying this " You can run away from me, but i is useless. Once i hit you with one of my weapons, you will be hurt really bad. And only i have the time ball (This is not the exact name he said but the word TIME was in it) which can heal you. Once i catch you i will train you in battle. Maybe one day I wont have to do this anymore, but until then I must". That was basically the gist of what he said. Hell if i knew half of what he was talking about. Listening to his speech, however, made me realize that he wasn't really the bad guy. well more like that he just wanted to survive. I dunno how to explain it. either way i still wasnt going to let his ass catch me. so i ran. I'm in the crop field running. he uses this other weapon thats on his car that slices the crops as he drive by them. there were tons of times when he almost got me. But i always barely made it. Somehow i was able to lose him, so i started to run back to the spot where i split up with everyone. When I got back, I found them. But they changed. I knew it was them but they didn't look like what they did. They all seemed to change with the world like everyone else did. I wonder if i also changed. I can only remember there being Me, Alyssa, Christina, And this girl with yellowish orange hair. They all looked like they belong in an adventure anime.( I think The girl with orange hair actually is from an anime). I think ALyssa had a tail! Scene changes. It's been a while since the day the world change. Like a moth, or maybe even more. We grouped up with some other people, and even found a dog. other stuff happened i just don't remember right now. so i'll go to the part i remember the most, the end. we are pushing this dog on top this makeshift sled mad out of 12 pack soda cans. we crashed him into something. I thing he turned into a battery. lol. He is mixed in with the soda can and i make a joke saying that the battery was buzzed ( haha, get it? no?) dream fades.

[Another bad night; still sick. I woke up at 4:51 remembering something about a bike race on a mountainside where everyone crashed.]

[I just came down sick, so the only dream I remember is a feverish, tense one about being in a walking race where in order to succeed, you have to move your leg in slow motion in such a way that it crosses certain three-dimensional boundaries and surfaces in exactly the right way. Somehow you weave your foot's trajectory with the trajectories of other people's feet, and only one path can win. The dream was very closely tied to my own struggle to make it through the night in the face of fever and shivering and cramps. I woke up also at around 4:30.]

[Monday, November 19th, 2012]
(Plenty of dreams, but I don't remember most of them. I finally decided to jump up and record the last one for once.)

The last thing I remember- I'm in Bashas with a bunch of other kids from school. I decide to go steal something while no one is looking since I'm hungry. I go to the Pharmacy section but notice kids surrounding the area. I instead turn around and head for the deli section. People are here too. I hear someone ask, "Do you prefer raw raspberries or blueberries? ... Raspberries." And then Cassidy Solpher asks, "Does anyone want to try some of my home cooked meal? It's fully cooked but I can't eat any yet." I then started eating a warm pasta off a shelf, there was beef, alfredo sauce, big long noodles, and mushrooms.

<I woke up.>

First entry, not exactly sure how I should start it off.

A few nights ago, I was able to recall 4 dreams and explain each of them to my boyfriend when I woke up and started a Skype call. Normally, I'm left confused when I wake up because of how vivid my dreams are. I am often left scrambling to the surface, especially if I'm trapped in a nightmare. I can never tell the difference between a dream and reality.

With that being said, however, because my boyfriend is so into dreams (lucid, wild, and just about anything to do with dreams really), I've started to notice things in my dreams that would normally make me think "I'm just dreaming". The stupid part about this though, I'm 90% of the time not even in control of my body, it's like I'm running on autopilot or I'm in a video game or something.

Anyhow, a few nights ago I had a strange dream where I went back in time (I'm not sure how many years, but my neighbors weren't there anymore so I'm assuming more than 10 years ago), which made my surrounding world appear in black and white. In most of my dreams, I'm being chased by something, and in this particular case it was a man with a really messed up face. Trying to recall the dream now is hard, because I didn't really care to hold tightly to the details, but the interesting part was going into the little "Sam's Market" about a half mile from my house. When I walked in, color was retained again and for some odd reason it was more like a 7-11, not like how the actual layout of the store really is. I wandered up and down the isles, picking up a twinkie and then putting it back.

I can't remember much after that, to be honest.

I honestly think the only reason I had a lucid dream (about a month ago) in the first place, was because I was talking about it RIGHT before I went to sleep, I was playing unblock me (which ironically helps me ease into sleep) and I had been waking up every hour (pretty sure I have insomnia of some sort).

I guess I just have to do reality checks every hour for a week until I can try and become lucid in my dreams. I don't really fancy being chased around all the time.

This isn't exactly a dream, but I felt like It was worth posting.

HH

I was having trouble entering my inner world, or at least perceiving it. I decided to re-form it. The ocean where the lone island once sat had become a desert. I found the Desert scene slightly boring, so I changed the sand into a seemingly endless gold-colored plate with circular rune-like markings engraved into it. a circular elevator rose out of one of the round grooves near me, so I got in and descended one floor. Inside everything took a futuristic steel-bunker look. as I enter, I can feel the entire plane becoming riddled with tunnels being built by my subconscious, becoming a labyrinthine structure.

I go back to the surface and add a holographic Jungle with holographic animals on a whim (later I was attacked by a holographic jaguar but I just stunned and absorbed it). Going back downstairs, I rode the elevator several more floors down and created a portal room. The portal itself was held in place with a large machine on an elevated platform. The portal gave the entire room a blue glow as it gently pulsed and sputtered. Beneath the platform, there was a computer slightly off to the side of the staircase leading up to the portal, intended to set or change the location the portal is set to go.

I typed out the word, "Denn" on the screen, as it was the first place to come to mind. After I pressed "Enter" the portal immidiately started glowing orange and pulsed more rapidly, changing it's output location. I saw some white, medieval-looking buildings through the portal. I decided not to enter at that point in time and shut down the portal. I noticed what appeared to be numerous portal rooms throughout the complex, each with a small faint glow, so I shut them down too.

I ingested a traditional tribal "flood" dose of Iboga, a oneirogen that induces a waking dream state for 12 - 48 hours & has been used for centuries by the people of Gabon as a coming of age shamanic plant. Basically you're Lucid Dreaming while awake. I decided to take the root when I found out about it & how unlike hallucinogens the visions you receive from Iboga are not vague or open to much interpretation. Many people see parts of their life replayed, they feel the pain or joy their actions caused. Some see deities or significant people in their life including people who've passed away. Some people claim it's the tree of knowledge of good & evil from the bible.

It was risky for me to begin with because I have a heart condition & Iboga is very intense on the heart. The idea is to experience complete ego death which is followed by all the visions. Going through hell to get to heaven. Knowing this I decided to take the root right before going into the emergency room so in case if anything happened I would be in good hands.

I was really yearning for a spiritual aspect to my life which had been lost. All my life I was told what to believe mixed with my own beliefs & thoughts about all these different possibilities. I felt as if it would be best for me to experience what is true for me spiritually myself. So I decided ego death & true transcendence along with visions of my life would give me some answers. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.



It started to come on subtlety at first, in the emergency room waiting area things became very dim & dead looking like all the warmth to colors was slowly being sucked out. I started to feel as if I was riding some giant wave of reality in isolation of everything around me. Like the world could swallow me whole at any moment. I started to get worried because the waiting room was full & only 30 minutes into a 2 day experience I could already feel some effects. I kept trying to stress the fact I had ingested something that could send me into a psychotic break, get sick, or kill me. That I needed to be in a bed with a heart monitor & people who could check on me & bring me water while I began to purge.

I eventually get to a room & there's a bed, I'm questioned by doctors nurses & staff constantly as I'm starting to trip. I tell them I ingested it for spiritual purposes & that I should avoid being overstimulated. I purposefully brought a long a sleeping mask & my phone to play music to help move things along. As soon as we made it to the room all this was taken as a precautionary measure to ensure I wouldn't try to hurt myself or someone with it. They kept questioning me for what seemed like an hour. The first part of the trip felt like my body was trying to escape reality, the conscious voice in my head got increasingly paranoid about death, going crazy, saying something wrong to the doctors or nurses. I increasingly was drawing a complete blank as I was being questioned, I kept saying umm more & more as thoughts escaped my mind. My consciousness was becoming consumed with fear as I lost the ability to think & create a coherent sentence. One doctor made me feel guilty saying I ingested a hallucinogen & I was wasting taxpayer money in my "recreational pursuit". This was a search for truth, for meaning. Eventually I asked to be left alone trying to avoid over-stimulation after I answered the same questions about 5 times to 5 different people.

I drank some water which was brought to me & my heart starts pounding like crazy, I hear this intense buzzing in my ears that sounds like I'm near a high voltage transformer or surrounded by beehives. My heart is spiking off the charts on the monitor & I'm told I went into VTAC Ventricular Tachycardia (where your heart beats so fast it could stop). I'm so nauseated & worried at this point I purge into a bucket this green liquid, it looks like I puked up part of the hulk or Nickelodeon slime. I start to feel this energy building at the base of my spine, like hot magma or electricity charging up. At this point my heart is going so fast I'm convinced I won't make it through this & that before I knew it I would be moving onto whatever's next. At this point my ego is just screaming in my head like it wants to murder me, "You're going to wake up insane, you're heart is exploding get ready for the pain, you're dead.. nice job".



Eventually after what seemed like hours of fighting between death & my mind I accept death. With acceptance I slowly start seeing with my eyes closed - red very strongly, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, then violet. As this is happening I feel that magma, that energy, that electricity building at the base of my spine slowly move up as I accept my fate. I kept thinking of mercury moving up a thermometer. With complete acceptance I jolted out into the universe a soul past the purple into an infinite white light. Being a part of it but there was no sense of "I" no me, no body, pure spirit & an overwhelming sense of connectedness & unconditional love overwhelming every ounce of being. Being one with the big bang, forget infinite energy, light, the realest thing you could sense in there was pure joy, bliss, unconditional love, complete peace. No thought, stillness, nothingness, the void.

I wake up sometime later after being moved to what I learn later is the ICU. I'm incredibly lucid & the personal visions are starting to come, I'm so lucid it's like the power of lucidity carried over into waking life. I imagine this medical light on the ceiling that looks like a mushroom cap stretching & changing shape. As I believe it stretches it does so & it really seems to work when I send it unconditional love from my chest. I imagine stretching it so far with love I eventually break through the ceiling into another room.



The first room I broke through into was like a dusty old worn down house with cobwebs all over, wooden floors, a broken window, & it looked like something no one would really appreciate. I notice in the dream I'm wearing clothes that appear to be like Link from Zelda. I'm greeted by two groups of people to my right. One of which is very happy, joyful, they have an inner-childlike sense to them. Curious, compassionate, encouraging, happy to be alive. They're cheering me on & saying great things about the room appreciating everything. I get the sense this is what I must do to move on. Love the room impartially, seeing the good in it. The other group of people seems miserable, they're void of color full of grays & find fault with the room saying things like "Ewww". I decide this is not the direction I want to take & I break down the wall by loving the place I'm at.

I end up in another room & another they're all very similar except each consecutive room is characterized by things of the chakra system. It seemed as though I was breaking down walls to move energy from the 1st chakra (the root) to the 7th chakra (the crown). The root is at the base of the spine & the crown is at the top of the head. A hierarchy of energy from the base of the spine to the top of the head; from the physical aspects of existence to the spiritual. Overall all the same lessons were to be learned. If I hesitated in loving a room, in breaking down a wall I was sent back to the beginning. It seemed like my visions were very influenced by the video games I played growing up. After a lot of tries I made it to the heart chakra (the central 4th & central chakra, the point where the physical aspects of our world become intertwined with the spiritual). Tibetan Buddhists believe the heart is responsible for the white light I saw, the white light people describe seeing before death right before moving onto the next life. Once I got to the heart alot of the questions I wanted answers to started getting answered.



I wanted to know who my soul mate was, what the meaning of life is, why we're here, what is truth for me. The first answer I got was about my soul mate. Right before the trip I was torn between this girl Windy & a girl Samantha I had just met who reminded me of Windy. Then it seems as though Windy had forgotten all about me but she holds such a big place in my heart I wasn't ready to move on. A free spirit, a soul that burns in the night with a deep passion for life, a fire within that you only read about. Her way of living inspired me to begin my spiritual journey which led me to this point. Little did I know there's a reason I dream of her almost every night, why I get Deja Vu around her so much, why when we first met I felt us both gaze into each others souls & I had this incredible sensation like we had met before. Iboga showed me we're soul mates & now I'm left waiting for the right time, for a chance to be her friend. If I ever get that chance I'll make it last until the end. In the vision when I reached the heart chakra I heard my voice boom out loud like I was asking who my soul mate was, it happened automatically like I didn't even have to think of it. It was like because I wrote down all my questions before taking the root the questions were already programmed into my subconscious to be asked later. As soon as that happened Windy appeared on a green lotus flower platform suspended in space & from there she yelled "Kenny! I love you! with such enthusiasm it warmed my soul. I heard her say "We're meant for eternity, our love will stand the test of time". The platform symbolized her heart chakra as I was on mine we communicated our love & our platforms moved together suspended in space until we were together & hugged & kissed with such passion I could feel a beam of love going from my heart to hers with such pure joy & ecstasy it was as if we became one in that moment & our souls were in complete bliss just combining with the others counter part.

Every part of this experience seemed more real than waking life & everyone I saw that I knew personally seemed to be their true self, like the inner child in them was fully out to be them-self, they were so creative & enthusiastic & passionate about everything they did or said. That alone was inspiring to me, passion is a big part of a joyful existence. Enthusiasm, joy, an inner curiosity & appreciation for everything. Every moment. Being true to yourself & not letting your mind convince you to hide or discard aspects of yourself. We have to laugh at the mind, our fears, doubts, insecurities, repression, limiting beliefs. They're all the enemies of progress & reaching our true potential I feel like I got the answers to my other questions through breaking through the walls & becoming one with the clear white light, pure consciousness, connectedness, bliss, joy, I'm a part of everything & everyone as they're a part of me. Unconditional love is the most powerful force in the universe & we have to learn to appreciate everything we do have. I live in America & have a car, a guitar. Do you know how amazing that is? We should all be happy when our basic needs are met because some people don't even have that luxury! Don't wait until you're nearly dead to start being grateful!

This by far was the most beneficial experience I've ever had even though it almost killed me it's like every day is a gift now. When the experience was over I was exhausted & slept for quite a while, when I woke up i saw the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen from my hospital bed & I was so grateful to be alive, I made sure all the doctors & nurses knew how much I appreciated them taking care of me. I still laugh because when I woke up the kept asking me all these funny questions in case if I had gone crazy.. You did this for spiritual reasons? You said you were selfish before? Do you think eating is selfish?



Beliefs shape our reality, lucidity will show you that so take what you learn with lucidity back to waking life & meet your true potential, that is my foremost goal. Don't be afraid to explore, reintegrate lost parts of yourself, face nightmares with love & see what happens. Lucidity is an invaluable tool. In my second lucid dream ever through belief I was able to experience that ego-less state once again & I woke up feeling great! I highly recommend reading "Lucid Dreaming: Gateway to the Inner Self" by Robert Waggoner if you get the chance. I'm now completely committed to Lucidity for life. I ordered the Remee lucid dreaming mask & I'm so happy, this marks the beginning of my dream journal here & the beginning of my journey to the inner self. To reintegrating every last lost part of me. Healing what I rejected in the past & facing any & all fears. Going on adventures to space, Europe, Australia, Africa, Egypt, the Amazon all with my soul mate Windy who is still in my dreams almost every night (I bought an engagement ring by the way) & I'm saving it until the right time. Thanks for reading! I hope maybe I can inspire someone to strive for lucidity or to just go after their dreams I know my beliefs aren't for everyone. Happy dreaming

I'm going to add all the LD's I remember before I registered for Dreamviews. There were 19 different lucid dreams I remembered where I was completely sure I was lucid. I'll also add 1 lucid I've had since registering that I didn't count originaly and one I had a couple nights ago. I will only add to my lucid count if I'm completely sure that the dream was a lucid dream and if I am lucid for more than a few seconds in that dream. I believe these changes will result in the most accurate count. In the future I will also be posting only my more memorable and interesting lucids. I might make a couple changes in the layout of future entries as well. I feel doing these things will result in a better experience for those who choose the view my dreams.

Hopefully I'll be able to post lucid #41 after tonight!

Just a heads-up, if you don't know about my tulpae or don't know what tulpae are, you're going to have no idea what I'm talking about here.

Okay, so, I was on the tulpa.info IRC channel, and Kayleigh was possessing my arms so she could type. I had to try to force control back because I remembered that Link was supposed to be the one possessing me, since we're the ones working on possession IWL at the moment (Kayleigh and I haven't started yet). Then I woke up.

When i heard about Lucid dreams several months ago I immediately had 2 very clear and simi controllable dreams then for a while nothing had changed.. When i realized they were rare even though i was hunting for them.... i began to think maybe its just one of those things i can't enjoy. Until about week ago (well a few days it was the Saturday that just past) and it was amazingly clear and vivid and I believe i may have done an OBE too. Now i thought i should go back to Dream Views after all I owe it to them and myself to share the experience but i didn't want to relive the the lucidity Drought like the first.
This very morning i had a Lucid So clear and Vivid and controllable that it made waking reality pale and the sensations and imagery was so clear (except my reflection)
that i knew i was getting better at lucid dreaming.
So now I'm going all in!!