side notes

[Thursday, September 5th, 2012]
(It's been a week almost since the last real recall... Nathan and Alex have been waking me up every attempt. I need a less alarming wake-up from now on. Less distraction. I need to be patient. The weed hasn't been helping, so I've decided to quit. At least for two weeks. So my next smoking date can be on the 20th.)

(The dream I had before Nathan woke me up):
The short recall of the dream started with- I was sitting in the car with Alex driving and Nathan in the back seat. We were in Surprise, around the Walmart area in the parking lot. It was probably around 5-6PM because it was light out still, but obviously towards the end of the day. I was singing two songs at once... having trouble determining the difference between them. The first one that I recall thinking about in the dream was, "Simplistic Trance-Like Getaway" by Never Shout Never. But also, at the same time it sounded like another song... "Beginner's Mind" by Bright Eyes. Around the same time, we were pulling out of the parking lot and heading home to Wickenburg. The last thing I remember was watching the powerlines pass. That's when Nathan woke me up in WL by rapping at my window.

(That was a very interesting choice of song. They both were... very... involved in my state of WL. I couldn't help but feel chills listening to the words after I had woken up. How could I know to choose those songs? Does my subconscious have control of my dreambody when my waking consciousness doesn't? Should I treat it as a seperate entity? I think so.)

Sringer Bell(a character off of the TV show THE WIRE) is on the run because of a car theft charge against him. He is just out of Jail and cannot afford to go back. He meets up with his mother in a Baltimore neighborhood along with DeAngelo(another character off THE WIRE). Stringer, his mother and D eventually figure out that the car is bugged. They successfully remove the bug so that the police aren't on their trail any longer.


In the dream, I was either a floater or Stringer bell himself. I haven't figured out yet. It seems like both sometimes.



*DeAngelo in my dream is overweight but he is not in the show.
*Stringer's mom is never shown in the show
*In my dream she is shown as an educated, respected professional. These are all traits which the character stringer bell wishes he had.

Last night, I had a dream that I recieved a weird and eerie message from an unknown sender instructing me to do a series of random things for reasons unknown. Such as, to go to this specific place. Or find that specific thing. Now that I'm awake, I don't remember directly being informed of any threats- but I knew that the thing that was leading me was supernatural, and I was aware of fatal consequence if I were to fail. Also, I was aware of the possibility that once I finished doing these things that I would confront the one giving instructions. I had an image in my head of a cloaked shadow-like mass and I knew that was the mystery transmitter's image for some reason. Unfortunetly I don't remember exactly what the tasks entailed, but I remember my family being around me telling me not to proceed, it was too dangerous.
I made a decision to go along with it, not because I was being forced, but because I wanted to hunt this thing that seemed to have so much power over me and beat it. The two scenes I remember out of my search for it were both very cloudy and dim. I found a small abandoned house with old decaying furniture and other items filling it up. Like a house you would see on that show "Horders", but if the horder lived on a creepy coast line, then died- and left the house there for fifty years. Tons of cobwebs and annoying obstacles. I remember rummaging through them. I found a box, but don't remember what was in it. The other scene I remember, I was walking down a rocky edge of the coast that was right outside of that house. It was pretty, no sun was out and it was raining a bit.

I eventually got to the end of the tasks, and I remember looking at my computer screen again. At the end, it turned out that I was welcomed into some sort of strange leading order of the dream realm by my tester. The person who secretly vouched for me to be tested was my sister Rose, so she knew what was going on the whole time. Back at my computer, the screen was at this website, dreamviews- with a few minor differences. And my name "Nerq" changed from it's orange color, to a weird purple color.

Now... I know that it sounds really boring, a supernatural being made me go to a couple places and then accepted me into a dream order on... the internet. But it didn't seem so dull in the dream. I was so proud of myself for some reason. Ophelia, the staff member I talked to a while back on here was part of this weird dream order that sent the test. I thought that was kinda funny when I woke up.

Later that night after my WBTB alarm, I had a second smaller dream. This one was less intense. I met my co-worker Jeremy at a burger place that he liked. A few of his friend's had come, I recognized them as if I had met them before and they recognized me the same even though I've never seen them before in my life. We were celebrating Jeremy's gay wedding that was coming up. I sat down and met his one of his new friends, and that guy went to get the food at the counter. I could tell Jeremy looked nervous, like he wasn't having a good time. It looked like he was unhappy about something, so I tried to calm his nervs about the huge changes going on. Talked a little about my own marriage and then I left. That was the end of the dream. This was also kind of funny because Jeremy isn't gay in real life.

I recalled two vague fragments from last night - one about checking my tumblr dashboard, another about browsing reddit.

I also had a fairly vivid dream later. In that dream, I was playing my N64. Instead of being in my bedroom, though, it was set up in the living room. I don’t remember what game it was, but, for some strange reason, it was played with two controllers. While I was playing, a young, blonde-haired boy, perhaps nine or ten years old, came up to me. I asked if he wanted to play, and he said yes.

“Here’s the player one controller, here’s the other controller, and here are the games,” I told him, motioning to the two controllers and then the box of games. “And here’s the microphone if you want to play Hey You, Pikachu!”

Well, he did want to play Hey You, Pikachu! He didn’t play mine, though; he’d brought his own cartridge. It was a limited edition version in which you could also have a Raichu. I thought that was pretty cool. I’d never seen that version before.

For some reason, I got up and went to the kitchen (in my house, it’s connected to the living room; we have a combined living room/kitchen/dining room area). The sink and counter looked like it does in the bathroom, though. I grabbed two pairs of my (most recent) old pairs of glasses and several Triforce earrings. I thought it was odd that I had so many identical earrings when I’d only remembered having one pair (the glasses didn’t strike me as odd, though), so I did a reality check. My favourite is the hand RC, so I glanced down at my hand. Five fingers, normal. Something just looked… different, though (as in, my fingers weren’t quite straight, and they definitely weren’t parallel - there was a huge gap between my middle finger, leaning way to the left, and my ring finger, leaning over to the right). I counted again to make sure. I still had five fingers. I concluded I was, in fact, awake (when I replayed the dream in my mind after waking up, I literally facepalmed when I got to this part).

I picked up the boy’s other, identical limited edition Hey You, Pikachu! cartridge, went back to the living room, and returned the game cartridge to him. He thanked me for returning it - as he didn’t know where it was - and left.

Well, last weekend I was dove hunting so I didn't get to sieze the opportunity to work on lucid dreams. THis week however, I have been having some very vivid dreams, and consistently waking up from the binaural beats and alarms, so this is good. Ii am predicting here that within a few weeks I can start having lucids during school, which will be a nice getaway for me. Just needed to do a recap of what's been going on.

Also, the game I am working on is coming along very nicely. I am going through it and recoding some things to take it from a programming project, to a full fledged game! It is very exciting, although I am still in need of artists, sound designers, assistant programmers, etc... Anyways... here is to lucid dreams to come!

See ya

The lucid part of this dream didn't last as long as I wanted it too, but it was so refreshing. The dream setting started out pretty interesting- this is an old T.V. show so I don't know if anyone will understand the reference. There was a Jackie Chan Adventures themed fight going on in my back yard that led to my lucidity this time. Before going to sleep, I was thinking a lot about that show hoping to maybe get to re-live some of my childhood dreams about it. Yesterday I looked it up and watched the final episode out of nostalgia. During this fight one of the main characters Tohru busted the brick wall around my house, but I didn't mind... because it was Tohru.
Anyways, a little time had past and I ran outside of my gate to see where the commotion had gone. I guessed that they had moved the battle to another part of the town. At that point I was put in a bad mood, I realized I didn't get to use any of the talismans or powers that were being traded off by the warriors- and all I was stuck with were the awed by-standers, and these two random school kids that kept on walking around asking if they could trade some coins for something. They had asked everyone around here multiple times throughout the dream, I have no idea what that was about. I decided to ask them what they were trying to buy off of everyone, they answered probably six times without saying the same answer once. The school kid's answers, mixed with the thought of wishing I would have used some of the Jackie Chan Adventures talismans instantly made me realize that I was in a dream. The kids were still trying to talk to me but I flew up and away, realizing it didn't matter. Just then I noticed I began to fly too fast, maybe I was too excited to start off without routing myself in the dream first. So I began to fall back down so I could calmly get used to dream realm without losing grip so quickly. That's where it went bad. I started losing control of where I could look and where I could move. I think that this could be attributed to the state of my sleep, sometimes when I'm dreaming- I begin to lose control and vividness if my physical body isn't feeling well. I got to the ground and found myself in a place that I now will always remember. I've been there countless times in other dreams, but I didn't notice how repeditive it was until now. It's a very beautiful and colorful forest with hundred-feet-tall trees that always(!) forms itself if I begin a flying dream near my house where I'm lacking in control still. Some green trees, some red trees, and some other small variations, it's beautiful. What's strange to me is this time, I flew down to the ground and the last thing I saw as the dream showed me my focus wasn't cutting it yet- in the forest was a submarine that I've seen there before. The last time I saw it, I had to look around quite a bit first- but there it was. Half submerged into the ground surrounded by shrubs and rocks. I thought it was so strange that I forgot this place. I guess it's my brains way of telling me goodbye. I have made it past that forest before, but it takes a lot and this dream wasn't up for it. I had one other noteably awesome dream after this one that I'll write down in a bit.

Waking Thoughts/Dream/ Lucid

So it's another off day for me. I sorta stayed up too late and threw off my sleep schedule a bit. Not a lot recalled and got a bit lazy this morning and did not write much down. I'll fix that tomorrow.

I am in some sort of car lot with a few empty car shops scattered about. Not too sure what happened, but I recall complaining that we were not selling something... All I managed to write down last night at about 04:40 was: "Car lot and not sell cars?" Yeah, not a lot to go off of.

Later in the morning I am at a horse stable. Which in of itself is strange since I NEVER see any horses. I recall getting on one and riding it around for a little bit before waking up. Yeah, not the most eventful dreams. Tomorrow should be better since I will get back on my regular sleep schedule. Since I have been working on my recall, I was thinking it's about time to work on getting lucid. Will type more later.

I had a dream that school had already started (I don't start until Monday). I go to an online school, and the site looked the same is it does IWL, though a few of the courses had weird names (gummy, for example). I had a message from OpheliaBlue (one of my teachers, apparently) saying that these three years of high school would be hard, especially now that paigeyemps wasn't helping me with Spanish anymore.

I almost had yet another LD. This one would have definitely been a WILD. I remember losing feeling in my body, yet my mind was still conscious. And I was thinking: [Ok, ok, this is it, I just gotta stay calm and not think too much...] But for some reason, not long after the transition started, I woke up completely. All the feeling in my body came back at once. I think this happened because I was worried that I couldn't breathe or something. I couldn't feel myself breathe, so I started to breathe manually. I didn't think it would have an effect on me, but apparently it did. Still, I was so close to making the transition that when I imagined simple pictures, they seemed much more vivid than normal. WILD appears to be the easiest technique for me, so I'm going to keep trying it...

I also had a second dream this morning that I didn't have time to record. It was very short. My brother Jeremy and I were standing at a kitchen counter. He was making food, I guess it was his kitchen- even though it was just a random dream kitchen. I looked to my left and an old aquantance of ours walked up and stood next to me. I remembered that I didn't like him very much, and that our other good friend Bob owed him a punch to the face that he never ended up recieving. I remembered telling Bob a long time ago that if Bob didn't want to, that guy was enough of a douche to deserve a good punch and even I would give it to him if need be. So I stood there thinking about taking the swing...

The guy turned to face me, and his character changed into someone I'd never met before. A somewhat stout looking asian guy. In the dream I thought to myself, oh... the lighting must have played tricks on me. Now that I think about it, it wasn't the lighting- just a dream.

Again, yesterday was a rough day. Hopefully punching people won't be the theme of my dreams tonight.

I was ice skating with two friends I'd just met. They were both girls. One had straight ginger hair that fell approximately down to her shoulders (maybe slightly longer). I don't remember what the other girl looked like, but I think she had black hair. There were other people there, too, but I didn't know them.

The ice rink was outdoors and fairly small. Ice skating was a lot easier than I find it IWL. I was actually going rather fast most of the time. Every now and then, I'd fall over from being careless and inexperienced, but it never hurt. One time, when I fell forward and put my hands out to catch myself, I let myself continue sliding across the ice on my hands and feet (the blades of my skates were touching the ice) because I thought it looked cool.

I eventually woke up (or so I thought) and considered trying WILD but decided not to because it was already morning and I didn't think I'd be going back to sleep. After a couple minutes, though, I changed my mind. Here, weird dream logic took over, telling me that WILD involves walking around the house. I went downstairs but then realized I was only wearing a towel, so I decided to go back to my room and get dressed, but I woke up before I did.

I did a quick reality check to confirm that I was actually awake this time but soon went back to sleep anyway.

This time, I was at church with my friend Giana. There's a little room by the sanctuary that no one ever seems to use; that's where we were. I asked her a question (though I can't remember what it was now).

"Yeah, but no killing," she responded. This confused me, but then she made a comment about some game.

"I thought we were talking about real life," I said.

"I'm talking about our game," she told me. At this point, I assumed that she and Emma (another of our friends; the three of us make up our little trio) had made up some game last week when I wasn't there.

We left the little room and found Emma waiting for us. Giana wanted me to download some music and play it for us, so I did (actually, she just took my laptop and downloaded it herself). When it started playing, I asked if there was a censored version, since the music had a lot of swearing in it, but she said no.

At some point, we somehow ended up outside in a field. The music had stopped playing, switching to a slideshow of pictures instead. One of them was a demotivational poster. I don't remember what the text was, but the picture was a poorly photoshopped image of a cross between a lion and some other animal (can't remember what). I then alt-tabbed over to DreamViews and started typing up my previous dreams in my dream journal before waking up and realizing I'd have to type up my DJ entry all over again.

I was in an office building where there was a huge party going on at the time, and then i kicked out and I had this thing that allowed me to kinda float through the air, if I pushed the button in the air. So, I was forced away from the party and I was extremely far away at that time. I was with a tv show character, Barney from How I met your Mother, and we were on a mission to get back to the party because there was some sort of scandal going on there. We were extremely far away, and we saw a building that was a lot quieter than it, but we decided to check it out, just in case. It appeared to be an abandoned building with maybe CIA agents working in it, only on one office near the top floor. Me and Barney evacuated it quickly. We began to walk again looking for it, and we though we saw the lights coming from the direction it was. I used the thing to float to get over there at high speeds, and I realized it was there. I went back for Barney and he was in an outdoor mall at the time. I got him and we prepared to use the mechanism to fly over there, as soon as I woke up.

This was a pretty cool dream, it's just extremely unfortunate that was an entire beginning to this dream that I don't really remember besides the ending. Also, there was more to the beginning of this I don't remember very well.

[Wednesday, August 29th, 2012]
(Three dreams. My dad was in some of them. But overall failed recall.)
(EDIT: I just remember one of the dreams. It was a nightmare.)

The entire dream was me trying to complete some strange paranormal competition event. There were thousands of participants. It consisted of a number of phases and it was spread out over an open scene with changing environments. For instance, most of the land was forest, but just up north, there was a line that seperated icy wasteland from it, and to the south; desert.

The earliest stage I really "remember" was Phase 6: We were transported back in time to World War II and were in front of an enormous cathedral. I walked in with a group of 3-4 other RM's, us being way behind the rest of the crowd. There were no guards in the first room, in fact there wasn't anyone. The rest were all in the next room with the pupit in front and the benches facing it. Everyone had crowded in there for some reason, and Hitler was giving a speech to them. I remember hearing screams and suddenly there was growls and gunfire. (I was so thankful for being slow.) We turned to the left and followed a short hallway to a few joint-bedrooms where we discussed what to do next. For SOME odd reason, the rest of the group came up with the BRILLIANT idea that two of them would have sex in the bed as if it would solve anything. I went with their plan. I was to have guard duty outside in the hallway. The man who was going to have sex with one of the women asked me if it was okay that he was doing this, as if this woman was my lover or something. I shrugged; I didn't know any of them. They were all unrecognizable DC's. They started and I walked out of the room and sat down in the hallway with my back to the wall and waited.

The next thing I know, we WON. We advanced to the next round, and I wasn't even sure how. Maybe all we had to do was survive. Our group somehow also aquired a map that was coded that didn't help us in any observable way.

Onto Phase 7. The host (who happened to be an Owl-being) told us that we would have to find the next area on our own. At this time we were standing by an old rotting two-story house and the forest around us was in just of bad condition. Spooky. But the house was locked all around. 4 ninjas (probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too.) seperate from our group, walked past and I overheard them trying to figure out what to do next. They were stumped like us. Once they were gone, I climbed the building to the roof and climbed in through the belltower's window on top. The rest of my group followed suit. Once in, a few more people leaked in, but there had to be less than 10 total. When our group reached a familiar hallway that resembled my old home's hall, we all split up and took a different room. The room I had was my old bed room. There were two others in the room with me. We were tearing it up looking for a clue... a treasure... anything. Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise erupted from outside the room. I ran out to hear screams and laughter and my heart skipped a few beats as I listened. Everyone in my group was already dead. The two people in the room I had just been in had vanished. I was alone. I heard a sick laugh again and suddenly the darkest music began to play and I heard someone screaming, "TATTOOS AND CLOWNS. TATTOOS AND CLOWNS." It was a fucking demon clown. He was coming for ME. I thought about hiding behind a propped up mattress, but scurried to the doorless-closet instead. There was a small bit of wall to hide behind at least there. Back to the wall and out of sight, I waited in silence. My heart began to race faster and faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up; my heart still beating out of control.

Well, tonight I only recall a few fragments. Maybe not even fragments, but ideas. I will list as much detail as possible. I wake up at around 4:30 to an alarm I set. I wake up thinking it's time to get ready, but realized I still have two and a half hours till I gotta get ready. At the time I recalled bits of a dream I guess I started to have, but I got lazy and did not write anything down. I fell back asleep and find myself waking up at 7:00. The only memories I can salvage are: Donuts, a doctor for some reason, I think there may have been some driving segments, maybe a restaurant, and while sitting here thinking I believe I talked to someone other than family. If I remember any more, Ill write it down.

Before going to bed last night, I did not properly prepare myself. I was just too tired and crashed fast. I don't think I even tried any auto suggestion mantras or even simple dream incubation. I am off tomorrow, so I will try to be a bit more relaxed and go to bed at a decent time.

EDIT:
Took a hour and a half nap after work today, and managed to have a dream around 20:00. I was working at some sort of apartment complex that looked almost like a hotel. I believe the walls were red or some sort of warm color. I was helping a lady move her belongings into a room when her children dropped something and made a mess. I was helping clean up ( I can't remember what it was) when I noticed a medium sized crt tv with Mythbusters showing. The dream change shifted to where I was not there, but still passively watching. Kari was for some reason being kicked out of that very complex I was working at, but doing a myth at the same time. Some sort of stomach related myth, and stuck in the bathroom. She could not come out, because the Midnight Crew were in front of the door singing a song. They were slightly different having normal skin and some sort of face paint. Not long after this I woke up.

=Stats=
(pre-edit)
Month: Phoenix
Goal: Fix Recall
Dreams remembered: 0 (-1)
Time: N/A
Length: N/A
Clarity: N/A
=End Stats=

[Friday, August 24th, 2012]
(Shaky recall.)
I remember driving a lot, and worrying about running out of gas soon.
(The rest has faded from my memory as the day passed. I should have written it down sooner...)