side notes

No recall.

No recall.

Dream 1 (9 A.M.): Something about...a mafia-type family and a woman holding a baby? @_@ I think she was wearing some fancy dress.

Dream 2 (10 A.M.): I was uploading a Death Note icon to Photobucket in a Icons > Death Note album. I saw some old icons I had made with fanart and considered whether or not to delete them because I had changed how I felt about reposting fanart, but decided not to because I had posted the icons elsewhere and it would break the links.

The icons seemed to be fancier than ones I'd have been able to make in the past, and seemed to be face shots of Light and L.

Notes: I haven't been in the Death Note fandom in a long time. I don't think I have DN icons in my Photobucket account? Especially not fanart icons. Also, I remembered more of the first dream when I woke up but I was once again too tired to write more down.

I think I took a shower. Then I was wearing my capri khakis and grey shirt with the blue flower logo, but apparently I needed to be wearing a more formal shirt. I told my sister I was going to the store to get one.

There was some kind of dinner thing going on and my sister made a joke about me. Off to the side, I got upset and asked her about it. She said something about never knowing what I'm thinking or if I was upset, and I tried to articulate that it bothered me a lot.

Also something about eyeshadow and there was an old man?

Notes: I need to type up this stuff sooner so I have a better chance at remembering things. Also, I'm making a table to categorize/track my dreamsigns.

When I woke up this morning I was convinced that I had had two dreams about Gamzee, but since I don't remember them, I'm skeptical about it.

But it actually did remind me that I had a dream about Dave and Dirk yesterday, but they were just mundane DCs in it I guess.

Also had a dream about being mind-controlled or something by an older witch woman?

Dream 1: Someone was giving me a tattoo on my back under my left shoulder blade. I think I was reprimanded for peeking at my arm which had apparently also been tattooed. I remember black ink.

Dream 2: I was in a store, and Justin Timberlake was there for some contest thing. I couldn't care less, so I was throwing this little stuffed animal cube thing back and forth with someone who was standing in the clothes racks.

Justin looked disapprovingly at me, as if I should be feeling very pleased about possibly winning the contest. I feel like the cube may have had something to do with the contest, like it indicated the winner.

Notes: Oh how I wish I knew what the tattoo was. I don't know if I could ever get one in real life because I could never decide what to get!

It was raining heavily, and I think we (me, mom and dad) decided we needed to stop at grandma's because it was too bad to drive in. I think I was worried about driving on her road when it was so wet, because it's so narrow and gravelly.

Apparently we hadn't heard from aunt Dimple in two days. We were really worried and it was like we already knew that something had happened, that maybe she was close to death and this meant she had passed away. One of us brought up the question that, "wasn't grandma sick right now?".

However, we got a text from Dimple just as we were pulling in to grandma's road. Just as we saw that it was her, we passed by Dimple's white car.

We're in grandma's house, and we brought our cats with us. Only there are some kittens too. I see one of us trying to put down a kitten near a dog. My automatic reaction is, 'No, our cats don't get along with dogs at all!'.

I was in my grandma's room, settling some kittens in I think (I remember a fluffy orange and white one), and there's someone sleeping on the floor. I look over to see that they're naked, and I look away and head towards the door to leave.

I'm nibbling on a corndog on the porch but I don't want it anymore. My sister suggests I use it to get the dogs to go in their kennels. I tears off a chunk and throw it in one 'kennel' to get her dog, Duke, to go in, but he gobbles it up and leaves it. (They don't look like dog kennels at all, more like scrunched up boxes)

My sister is like, "no, no, you have to use the *something I don't remember*". She touches a yellow mark on the wall, and Duke stands at attention. Then I do the food thing again? Don't remember.

I repeat the treat-throwing exercise until a few more dogs are in kennels. I remember feeling frustrated dealing with all the them.

Real life notes:

Dimple is passed away.
Grandma doesn't let any dogs but her little one in the house, and they only have one other dog anyway.
We only have three adult cats.
I don't like corndogs.
Grandma's road has caved in before so it was a valid fear.
That's a lot of dreams involving water lately. I don't think it's because of having to use the bathroom - I just have bathroom dreams then.
I didn't take a melatonin last night because I was worried it was causing nightmare flashes again, but I did end up taking a small piece of a sleeping pill.

I knew I'd be blown wide open, somewhere in mid-January thru February. There was no way to foresee the whole, flash flood thing, surviving a natural disaster. But since then, since both Adam and I have been able to rest, get our heads screwed on straight, take a step back from everything - we've both been dealing with intense dreams, nightmares, and precognitive visions/feelings. The first two days after the flood, everything was a blur. It was that day when we both broke down and cried because of what had happened. It was scary. It happened so fast we couldn't process our feelings. There was shock, and gratefulness that we made it out alive, and grief for our neighbors who lost everything, and a little anger at God for trying to wipe us off the map... I know something good will come from this. Its easy now, 5 days later, to look back, and see many good things - small miracles and big ones - that spared us, blessed us.... some people we are lucky enough to know, have shown us how good a person can be, if given the chance - and some others we know, have shown us how stuck up a person can be. its weird.... a couple who is poor, who has to hustle and work extremely hard as much we ever have, they have helped us more than anyone - I would say just as much as the Red Cross has. And this couple who are filthy rich told us last night that they don't even feel comfortable with us coming over to their home to visit. Why? They couldn't say why. I won't assume anything, I can't begin to think of what their reasons are, and I would rather focus my energy on recovery and rebuilding, than on the snobs of the universe.

The dream I had that I think was a precog dream, all it was - was me driving this car through a mountainside, that had very tall steep hills, snow on the mountains, rails separating the road from the hillsides, and curvy, well paved roads. Adam was with me in the car. We came upon a very green section of mountainside. It was SO GREEN..... lush, beautiful, supple, full of life, water running down the mountainside.... and then once again we were driving past another mountain that was cold and dead. in the dream I also had to turn a powder into a purple liquid. I dipped my hand in the purple liquid and drank from my cupped hand. We had to stay in a cave for a while. Lay low. Not hiding ourselves, but keeping the world out. Then we had came out and walked through a bubble - an energy shield. And we were on that curvy mountainside road again.

I think what it means is, that something GREAT is coming....lush and green, plentiful.... that sounds like security, in work, in where we live, which hopefully means I will be working soon and that Adams job is secure already. Laying low, in a cave - that is exactly how we FEEL right now, how we wish we could exist. Just block out the crazy world, the weather, the struggles.... the powder and purple liquid - something white was crushed, pulverized - I think that was my innocence - my ability to be naive about life. It became part of this purple drink. The purple fed me, re-energized me. Purple is psychic energy - intuition. I drank it then we were back on the road, fighting the humdrum hardships of life. At least the road was under us though!

Pre-bed mild alcohol consumption
WBTB - 3:30AM
Ultra low dose of caffeine <=25MG, 200MG B6
Changed location to recliner to WILD. Failed.

Was on the verge of a DILD. I was becoming analytical when I was awakened by a crying baby at almost 4:40AM. Yep right at peek time. I think the dose was low enough to stay asleep that time too. I was very groggy.

Back to bed at 5:45AM.
Wife's alarm goes off at 6:00. I lye perfectly still and wait for DEILD. Nothing happened right away so I started to recall the dream. I slip back into sleep. Curious thing here. Perhaps I am not giving enough time to DEILD. If it doesn't happen right away I give up. Next time, I will wait at least a few minutes if I can. The problem is that I am certain to lose the dream recall if I attempt DEILD and there is no guarantee that I will hit DEILD. I have fallen back into non-lucid dream with zero recall while failing DEILD. I suppose its worth trying a few night a week even if it kills recall. 1 lucid is worth 100 non lucids.

So, I fall back to sleep non-lucid but I end up having a very brief DILD. The fact that it was so short is due to the fact that I temporarily chose to give up lucidity as a way to keep the current dream going. I was actually trying to postpone my awareness for just a bit but I lost concentration for obvious reasons.

Wife's Doppelgänger

Since the alarm went off I was thinking my wife turned it off and got into the shower. I can hear the shower water running. But when I roll over I see my wife lying next to me. For whatever reason we begin to have sex.

In the throws of passion I wonder about the woman in the shower. How can my wife be there and here. Something about her feels off. Not physically but more like an extra sense of discerning. I almost felt like I was cheating on her with someone that looks like her while she was just in the next room. Then I think, "Of course, I am dreaming!"

At that instant the dream goes black. I really didn't want what was happening to end so I acted on instinct instead of thinking straight. I let go of my awareness a bit. I said, "No no no no no.. OK not yet. I don't have to be lucid now. Afterwards I will be lucid."

The dream resumes and we pick up were we left off.
I briefly wonder what the interruption was but have no memory of being lucid. I dismiss it with other explanations.

Afterwards, This version of my wife disappears and I have a FA. I think I about the dream I just had and get out of bed. I hear my wife get out of the shower and lay back down pretending to be asleep. She asks me rather disgusted, "What were you doing?"
"Nothing. Why?"
She walks around the bed and picks up a towel. "What were you doing with my towel? Look at it. It's a mess"
Embarrassed, I think I must have humped the towel in my sleep.

I jump and sit straight up when my wifes snooze alarm goes off. I am shocked to see her next to me in bed still.

I had 2 dreams last night, but I only remember bits and pieces. I'm not sure whether waking up after each dream is a good idea, because I seem to either go straight back to sleep without properly registering I am awake, or I end up staying awake for the rest of the night. Anyway, dream recall time:

I am sat in a dark room on one of those computer chairs that spin around. I have a huge bottle of fizzy orange juice. The bottle itself is about 1m long. My mum walks in, and asks me why I bought a bottle of OJ for £88. At this point I realize that wherever I am is a room at the side of an airport terminal, and I bought the drink from one of the shops. I'm texting some random guy, when I walk back into this dark room. (I don't where I left to go or anything), and I see the bottle cap on a desk on the corner. Walking over to it, I realize that there is an imprint on the cap. The cap looks like a plastic shot glass, and the imprint is sort of like chalk? Or some black charcoal dust.

Looking down, I see that I have received a text from the same guy. It is a picture message of the bottle cap and my ID card leaning against it. The ID card shows that in the dream, I am a scientist, and I look different, have a different name etc. I decide that this guy must have stolen my ID Card because of:

*In-dream Flashback*
I am sat at the table in a kitchen with a skinny man stood in front of me. He asks me a question that I don't understand, then places the black/charcoal thing in front of me, however it looks like a pale version of the resin you use with a violin. We have a conversation which I didn't actually hear. I think it was like mind speak, and we knew what the other was saying. He then picks up my ID card and puts it in his back pocket. I ask for it back, and he acts like he didn't realize he had done it.
*End of Flashback*

I realize that by putting it in his pocket, he imprinted the ID card onto the charcoal. When I come back from the flashback, I am hidden in my wardrobe, looking out into a room that is once again, very dark. In front of me sit a brother and a sister, who are also scientists, but also hackers. I don't know how I know this. They both look very mice like mice, and they are talking about something they are working on. Something they say causes me to realize that this plan is about doing something to me.

They then go onto have an argument about the fact that they can't fail like their dad did. This is when I realize why I know they are hackers because they turn around to look at the computer. Attached to it are hundred of wires and hard drives etc, and they are doing something like a search on me.

Then I wake up. My second dream was a lot shorter:

I am stood in the garden of a new house I have just moved into. Because it's winter, there are no leaves on the trees, and the garden is covered with branches and it looks really scruffy. I walk over to my mum and my grandma, who are making plans for the garden. My grandma is on her knees looking at some paving stones. Paths got through and around the garden, and my grandma insists that there is too much grass, and that we need more stone paths. Sure enough, I look up and there is a patch of bright green, freshly cut grass. My mum tells my grandma that we will not have any more paths, because she really likes grass.

And I woke up again.

I'm carefully taking melatonin right now in an effort to fix my sleep issues, and my dreams are pretty crazy right now. Too tired still to really write anything down though.

First dream: I remember a room and casting spells from Harry Potter with a wand. I feel like there was some crazy stuff going on, like murders? Or someone chasing people around. Not sure if this was in the dream or not, but I remember wishing that I had memorized more of the spells, because I kept fumbling with trying to remember them as I was casting.

Second dream: I believe I was in a jungle with some other people, and we were climbing rocks (without any gear). There was water below, and a basketball kept bouncing around in the water as I tried to get it.

I had a dream that my boyfriend and I went to the airport so he could catch his flight back home (he lives in Mexico; I live in the US). After we said goodbye and he left, I went looking for someone who could tell me when the next flights to Mexico were to have an idea of when we could get together again. Not too long after we went our separate ways, I turned around and saw him behind me. I was surprised to see him there, as his flight had already begun boarding. Surprised, I asked him why he was still here, but I woke up before he had a chance to reply.

After going back to sleep (I don't know what time it was when I woke up, but it was still dark), I had a dream that I was at a party. I saw a girl there who looked familiar; I recognized her to be Ashley (my tulpa Link's girlfriend, who has a different host). I thought that I should tell Link that Ashley was there, since he'd be happy to see her, but then I remembered that tulpae can't see other people's tulpae (somehow, it didn't occur to me that I shouldn't be able to see her, either).

Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Strength: Faint
Type: Scary-Solid
Lucidity: No

Haven't had notable dreams lately. When I do, they aren't as vivid as they usually are. Go figure. I start a dream diary and I stop having dreams. I'm almost hoping for nightmares.

Anyway, as fain as this one was, I'll try to give it the best description possible. I was somewhere in the mountains, strapped to a table with some kind of force preventing my escape. I don't recall if I managed to escape or if I was tortured there, but I remember a strong sense of terror. I also had the faint idea that I had been there a long time, perhaps my entire life.

I might start trying lucid dreaming to see if I can trigger a more vivid dream, but I see that as a last resort. I will turn to it if these weak dreams persist, though.

No recall.

[This is turning out to be quite the dry spell! That's to be expected, though. Probably within another week I'll have adjusted enough to my new surroundings, and recall will recover.]

No recall.