side notes

After 2012 I began to lose interest, because I had no questions I wanted answered. I hit a wall so to speak. I am back. I have questions.

2.4.16

Slept from 2 am-10 am

Third or fourth day of reading this book about paying attention as a way of increasing self awareness in WL and also in lucids. Among other things it says that higher lucids are those where we remember our name and location and that the dream is created by us and we can make it go away.

So I practiced saying my name and location out loud in WL haha. And I got a non=lucid in which I remembered the location and also location of my friends with correct name of their county.

Yesterday night I've tried the SSILD technique, it was totally new for me (even if sometimes when I have problems to falling to sleep I use a similar technique, but I never spotted the relation with the LDs).

I had a very strange experience:
I've done the cycles (brief and normal ones) but i think I got caught up in some kind of hypnagogic hallucinations or maybe a dream itself. Basically at some point I was convinced of doing the cycles but I was actually seeing images of planets and galaxies, traveling back and forth between them. For the all time that I was seeing these things I was actually convinced that I was awake doing the normal cycles before getting into sleep, just like it happens when you see or do something odd in a dream but in the narrative of the dream itself is a perfectly normal thing.

At some point I saw the word "sleep" in my visual field, and I moved it in a infinite symbol shape hoping that this could help me to relax and finally fall asleep. It was a feeling quite intense, and I actually woke up from this dream/hypnagogic state, hearing a loud noise in my right ear (a mixture between a scratchy noise and a popping one, like when there is a changing of pressure on a plane for example, but louder), and feeling almost all my body caught up in vibrations.
I've tried to relax and get back to sleep but it only woke me up.
I've done the Reality checks but I was really awake. Sadly I didn't had any LD during the night, I think that I was awake for part of the night (I've kept doing RC regularly to be sure of it) or if I was sleeping I don't remember the dreams, which is something odd because I always remember my dreams.
I've also tried the technique this afternoon for a quick nap but still no luck, I will try again this night.

I can't recall anything this time.

(I haven't posted on here in a while, but I have been keeping a dream journal in a pad. Recently I realised my dreams are almost always in context with my life down to a T. Like nothing is ever weird or strange. It's just everyday life- Going out with my family or friends and so on. So becoming lucid is that much harder. But last night, though it was still an average dream, something crazy happens.)

(Can I just add that I legit thought this was real life. Like it was super weird)

Semi lucid-ish.

I'm walking in my field with my best friend, our families quite a distance back. It's late evening so its pretty dark.

She suddenly tells me she has news. Then says "I'm moving to..." (I cant remember where she said but it began with an S and in a different country.)

Then she just breaks down crying and runs away from me. I catch up with her and start crying to and I hug her. I try to change them subject so I point to the distance and show her a flat field.

"In a dream recently I dreamt that field had a massive hill and I went sledding on it." (BTW THIS IS TRUE LOL) She shakes her head and laughs. "I want to go home now" She says so we do.

We kind of sit in silence and then something snaps inside of me. "You can't move away!" I scream to my friend and her family. "I need you" I suddenly cry again but something catches my eye.

This isn't their house so maybe... My dad suddenly appears and is like "Maybe you're dreaming" and I just say "I must be dreaming!" And i decide to do a reality check. My reality check at that moment was to see if i could read on my phone.

I get my phone out (I didn't realise at the time but my phone background had gone back to my first one: colourful swirls not the avengers one I have irl right now) I try to put my password in but my hands won't do as I ask.

I focus on the phone like my life depend on it and suddenly it unlocks. I go on instagram and try to read. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND I CAN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But the words are above a picture not below and they make no sense.

The first sentence said "Green Run Cufflinks" and then i looked away and then looked back and it said "Queen Keeping Mould String." At first I was like i must be dreaming but my brain kind off switches off and I'm like "Nooo... I can't be"

I go home leaving my friends house sick of the situation and I go home. Only to find my bed in a completely different place in my room and some stranger sleeping in it.

(Then I wake up.)

[Notes]:
- Yet another Fallout dream... probably withdrawal symptoms
- Also during finals week.

ALL NON-LUCID
[Enter dream]:
I'm stealthing on this BOS encampment in the middle of the city. I try fighting them and do well for a little bit, but it doesn't last. Soon, this Legendary Knight-Sergeant completely wrecks me as I see a kitted-out Vertibird (with red flames and racing stripes) flying in the distance.

I run away, and I find this Mexican guy. We're at a ramp. I recognize the muffler shop down below and realize I get an achievement if I slide down the ramp into a spot, so I do it. I'm hangin out with this dude in the shop, when suddenly this strange creature runs up to me. It's like a synth dog with a human skull on one of its appendages. It furiously asks me to wear the skull and go take out the BOS.... and I say no, because that's a ridiculous idea. Then, it/she kinda forces me to...

[The dream dissolves...]

[Notes]:
- This was during finals week... surprised I dreamed at all.
- No WBTB or anything.

ALL NON-LUCID

[Enter dream]
I'm at this grocery store, and there's these cherries that are candied and dried. I realized I really wanted them, then S tells me that they're five dollars, like it's a really big deal. Then I look around that area and find the price tag on this basket, and they were like 4.50 or something. I bought some.

Fallout-ish. I'm standing outside, looking for S. Apparently we were going to go do something together, but she wasn't here. I call her up, and she doesn't pick up. Instead, this gravely guy does, and gives me threats and demands me to stay away. I'm looking around, then I get hit with this green lazer out of the corner of my eye. I then follow the light, behind the shed and off into a field. I never found this light-guy. There, I stealth until I get really close to this guy holding a satellite dish and a pistol. It's the gravely phone-dude. I take him out, smacking him in the forearm, etc. Then go to this military base off in front of me, and there's this shed/cargo container where they're keeping her. I sneak in, and find her strapped up to this strange machine. The other soldiers are fine with it, until ones in the distance see me. They start shooting. Guy with an rpg. I get out and start collecting their weapons, which have really boring names, like "tuned" and "unknown 1", and they're practically all the same model.

Mini-nightmare, dripping concrete.

"Going out" with N.... yeah. It was just on the way to the theater with S. She saw me... yeah. Awkward and strange.

SP was trying to make everyone smoke weed. We were at my house, and there were tons of other students. There were these little shanty storefronts everywhere. I'm hangin with J, and SP comes up to us with a cigar box and opens it up. It's full of blunts. He asks us if we wanna smoke one. I say "no, dude." Josh continues to talk with him though, and eventually he decides to do it. I lose faith in him, "don't do it!" He goes anyway down to the creek with SP. I wander around for a bit. I'm on my sofa, with JH and a few other people I don't really know. Then, SP comes over and gives JH a bong with a bunch of M&M/skittles. There's no weed in it or anything, but the kids keep passing it around... I don't take it. I'm in the front yard. J comes back with SP, and they're both really screwed up. J reeks of weed, wearing his leather jacket, and then we're kinda on this city block place. He reeks so bad that when my dad tries to talk to him he gets giggly.

[Dream dissolves...]

(Though not lucid, this first one was about dream control.)

I've finally figured out how to work with this house. I've begun simply telling it, out loud, what I need from it - not exerting any effort or willpower, just a statement. "House, we need x thing," and the house takes care of it itself, without any effort on my part - simply informing the house what's needed instead of trying to control it. Amazing what a difference clear communication can make.

I'm talking to a servant girl in a room about the size of a closet where she both works and, I'm surprised to learn, sleeps. I ask if she'd like her own room, which of course she does. "House, we need a spare room." I walk out the door and find a new room's appeared, though it's dark and half-finished and covered in dust. "A nicer spare room." Now it's something suitable for living in - and I don't think I looked away, and there didn't seem to be any transition. One moment it had the first appearance, the next moment it was completely different. The girl explores the new room, exclaiming over it. There's a little bundle of fake white roses in a bowl of sugar.

There's what I think of as a wildfire at the edge of the house, just small patches of burning grass but I know it'll grow if I'm not careful. I have the impression this is the result of carelessly reshaping things, creating vulnerabilities around the edges. I have the house stop the fire, and though the fire's stubborn, it goes out as I walk towards it.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

A servant girl came running into a room at the back of the household after hearing one of the other servant girls shouting, but I grab her at the door and stop her. I can hear voices outside, and I recognize the voices of some soldiers who were causing problems with that second girl earlier, somewhere more public. They were reprimanded. Clearly they resented it and want payback. Realizing this, I admire the girl who came running to help; she's small and only armed with a kitchen knife and completely outnumbered, but she doesn't hesitate. Very noble.

Unfortunately for both of them, I'm in a hurry, so I'm not going to let her go help her friend. I'm just here to track down an object that belongs to me and which was stolen long ago, and which she stole from its most recent owner - a leather journal with a star on the center of the cover.

She showed me her room where it was hidden and ran off as soon as I released her, and I start looking through the journal, full of brief observations and sketches I'd drawn. I stop at the sketch on the last page, Jules sitting in a chair with his head tilted back. I feel like there's something foreshadowing about this. And while I'm looking at it, I hear an old man's voice as if he's looking over my shoulder. He makes a comment that makes it clear he recognizes Jules, and then asks me, "Did you follow me?"

Have had a dry spell for a long time. Recently bought a journal for myself. The past two dream entries were pretty vague. I think I might be trying too hard at this. Hopefully within the week or so I can remember more and get back into lucid dreaming!

Another "ANA" like night. This time influenced by Jamie Alexander's ebooks: "Lucid Dreaming on Command" and "Meditation For Lucid Dreaming". The main thing about his approach is to focus your awareness in your head, forget your body, and "go deeper, let go." I choose his recommendation to focus awareness on HI.

I felt this is a lot like what dolphin does, staring at the back of his eyelids and waiting for FAs/dreams to appear.

The first half of the night seemed to take forever before dreams began. I may have been aware in NREM because at one point I moved on to my back and when I felt entirely aware, my wife told me that I was snoring which woke me up and I thought that was strange because I hadn't felt that I was snoring.

I kept trying to fall asleep to watching my HI and letting go/relaxing. Then the dreams started. Ordering not clear.

+ I'm on my way to get lunch, maybe I'll get pad thai. I encounter a (Round Table?) pizza place and go in, I'd love me some Kind Arthur Supreme! They have a buffet lunch going. I'm skeptical because I want the KAS, but I head that way. "Don't worry, " the cooks say, "we've made plenty of pizza for the buffet." I indeed see large circular clear containers full of pizzas stacked one on top of another.

+ semi-epic?
I'm watching some presentation. A woman is talking about a piece of real-estate. She's trying to conceal her location, i see location on address on street, I know where this is [false]. House is large, 3 rich families live there. Look for a long time at the column marking the left front corner of the property, it's being reconstructed/rebuild? Around right front corner to side, the buildings are huge, right now just construction skeletons with girders. They're like 100 yards long, the size of a football field, what would be in there, a gym?
Then my team is playing on the ground level under the construction, it's a soccer field. I stand back and watch for a while, we're scoring goals, they're making good kicks, too. Then I run forwards and start participating. It's not all that easy for me to run, like I'm overweight. We make a run for the goal, and I try to kick but my kick is weak, it's not a soccer ball but instead some small colorful triangle things (paper?). I kick to my teammate, and we make 3 goals like that in a row with me assisting. At one point the goalie is grad school classmate KA, then he's on my team and we're scoring a goal together.

Enter a restaurant with my team. We're seated at a table. 3 out of 4 of my teammates are overweight.

+ semi-epic
I'm walking among and looking closely at suburban houses. I recommended a painter to some friends and I'm looking at the results [false]. I observe the colors: deep, grayish blue main building, sometimes an odd variant of raspberry/mauve, very dreamy colors. These painters always do a great and careful job. I'm in the carport of one such house and notice that they've painted the foundation a different color (this one is the blue/gray house with a reddish/pink foundation). They've painted a slightly uneven line between the house and the foundation, but that is because the foundation is bumpy concrete so the uneven line blends in to the texture of the house.

I pull myself up to look over the the roof and get a quick glimpse in a neighboring yard of a large fluffy dog.

I then climb fully on to the roof and launch into the air and fly. I gain some altitude, to avoid the dog in the next yard. The dog is barking/jumping at me as I fly over. The dog jumps at me and falls off the roof into the garden. I'm hovering/circling about 30-40 feet in the air, a girl is walking below me, she has notes for me, she's upset about the dog falling off the ceiling. There are letters stuffed in between the pages of books. The girl is my daughter?

Down on the ground I enter the house. There is a woman and a boy there seated at a table. I get a close up view of her right eye. It is strange. She has parallel vertical age lines above and below her eye on her forehead and her cheek:

||||||
<o>
||||||

I think this is unattractive. Then I notice her skin on her shoulder and chest. It is exposed (no shirt) and colored reddish-orange and of a very strange texture: the skin is pulled and cut into regular rectangular arrays of flaps about 1/8inch wide that stick up in the air about 1/4 inch. Her entire upper body is covered with these arrays of skin flaps. I notice a wrinkly nipple. The whole thing is a very odd and fairly repulsive sight.

Our team push starts a train. push hard, run to catch it, jump on. The woman train inspector may catch us. We've been riding around like this for a long time (is the track circular, how can we do that?) Uh oh here comes a end-of-track barrier, we're going fast, brace for impact, we plow through the barrier with no problems, and land in a cushion zone made for cases like this, with large slats of wood and piles of sand. There is a house for sale beyond this area?

Something odd like a guy opening his mouth around the for-sale sign (?) and indicating that the other guys should stick in their (ahem)s? It's a joke.

+ traveling through town, looking for ice cream/yogurt, some places catch my attention, I go into one. At the counter/register there is a light on the left that indicates you can place an ice cream order, and on the right that you can place a yogurt order. The ice cream light goes off and I try to communicate with the servers but they speak a different language. I go walking around the large store. I see people sitting in booths. Up ahead there are some large, fat, nudist women (lesbians?) sitting in a hallway booth. I walk by them trying to avoid looking at them. Around a corner there is a large room off to the side, with a male rock band and some female groupies.

+ (f) I follow into my jr hs best friend DD's house, his father is there, we're there with friends, we start discussing world history. Something about my dad? Sewer pipe exits? Every fifth pipe has elevated salt levels? I feel my skin peeling off of my foot from the high salt levels?

+ (f) I realize that I've lost my toilet seat shaped pillow for the night, they have reclaimed them. I need to pay for another one before they're all gone. I get one(?) and return inside to the equipment rack?

+ (f) exchange of candy. I wanted M&Ms I leave the area and check the (gas pumps?) the attendants/adult, guards are there but they don't bother me, I have a bag of candy, I turn around and re-enter the area

+ LD#167 ToTM advanced II (change gravity for a DC)
I look up into the sky and I see some puffy things like giant cotton swab puffs, and to the right a giant advertisement for a chocolate bar with many little bits of chocolate strewn around, I think "this is a dream-like sky, because only in dreams do you get particles like that in the sky". I do a nose pinch and am confused that I can breathe. That gets my attention, I try again and I can breathe. What? Oh! I run forwards and take a leap off of the road over a big drop with a small thought of "is this a bad idea?" but I fly and I'm firmly lucid now. I'm near a major university and think "I'm going to go mess with the students!" The thought of ToTM Advanced II (change gravity for a DC) enters my head. Down on the sidewalk below I see people, I choose a group of 3 walking together, 2 guys and a girl. I point my finger at the girl (who's standing on the right end of the 3 walking together), and will gravity to reverse for her so she falls into the sky. And indeed, she flies up high into the sky, 60 feet or so, when I un-reverse gravity for her and fly to catch her in my arms. Her head is to my left, feet the right. Her face is turned away from me. I turn her towards me, hoping/expecting to see a young/pretty college girl. She seems to be and I immediately kiss her. She's confused and I explain (punctuated by a few more short kisses) that I made a tiny modification of the space/time continuum around her, but that for her it probably felt like a large change. I ask her where she wants to go: New York? Europe? To the <rock band name forgotten> concert in Austrailia [false]? "Oh, the concert!" she answers. Darn, I think, I didn't really want to go to the concert. At this point there's a strange transition and we're outside a secret restaurant in Iran, and I'm now a small, dark-skinned, dark-haired local boy speaking through another local boy through a guy who works in the restaurant, explaining to the girl that I don't speak (Iranian?). The implication is that we're stuck in this situation (she accessed my dream power somehow to make this change?)... and then I wake up.

[Notes]:
- Still further into WBTB + request method, and this is getting better and better.
- Most control I've had in a lucid yet.
- REALLY gotta fix the gyroscope turning problem.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[Enter dream]
I’m in an accurate version of the weight room. I’m sitting on these bleachers by the windows. Suddenly, while Ms. N is talking, H comes over and plops herself right next to me. I ask her, “So who are you dating?” In reality, she seems kinda interested in me but has a BF. She tells me that that’s the issue and that things are kinda rough between her and J, so she was wondering if I “wanted to have sex?” And I’m like, “Whoa, whoa, what do you mean by that? Do you mean like ‘doing it’, like, sexual intercourse?” And she says “Not quite, I mean...” But then I leave and move over to one of the lockers. I open it up and find a bunch of magazines inside. Then I realize, “Wait, I just talked to her. That would only happen in a dream!” The lucidity sets in. I start saying “I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming, I’m dreaming!” I turn around, look around, and then look at my hands to stabilize. I remember that I wanted clarity and say it. Things get a little clearer, but still not nearly as clear as I want. I turn around (which sends my POV kinda lopsided… definitely gotta fix that problem.) I’m laughing to myself and see PG looking at me with disgust. I look at her and say ”Shut the ___ up!” And I side kick her whole box apparatus into her and knock her over, knowing she’s a DC. Man, I’m a dream jerk. I run off and find some more boxes. I just start throwing them around the gym, and I drop kick one. No one notices. Then I just ran a lap around the gym. This is easily the longest and most controlled lucid I’ve ever had.

[The dream fragments...]

[Notes]:
- This took place later into the week of WBTB + nightly personal requests.
- Woke up with great euphoria

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[Enter dream]:
I’m in my yard, in the spring, coming up from the creek with Dad. There’s this massive vertiberd that comes frling over us. Dad notices that it uses the wrong turn signal when it turns, and I confirmed. Then, the pilot must have noticed me, so he started doing flips and stuff, and kinda glitching out really. He eventually comes down and lands in the driveway. I think to myself: “Wow, this is sick. Imagine if I was lucid! What would I be doing?” The pilot gets out (Brotherhood of Steel?), introduces himself and tells us we’re gonna have some fun. We do, and a lot of people are at the house... someone was wrangling with our antenna.

I’m in Diamond City/ish. There are a couple of super mutants hiding around with a couple of feral mongrels. I get detected and run away, just to get found again. I’m hiding out in an alley…. chillin? there was something about having this special porridge.

I had to make S and A food. I made A some Asian noodles with tossed veggies and a thick soy sauce and it was actually pretty nice. I made S some strange dog food + corn mixture… it’s what she wanted! Mr. S appreciated the “tossed vegetables” in A's dish.

I was driving to school from over T Hill. I turn onto the road and end up sliding a bit… everyone does. It’s real snowy and nasty out. I eventually get to school and walk into the gym 31 minutes late (it was 8:31 on my phone). There’s these weight cages and crap. I walk around the place (it was huge). Inside of the weight cages were these these lifts. You could get lifted super high up into the air real fast with a push of a lever. We lifted and dropped them a few times. W messed with it for a bit. I hopped on, and flew up a bit. ART DEPARTMENT? Hangin with Ms. C in the studio art class.

I left the gym, and I was in space. I was flying in an X-Wing to the scene of a current battle. This was in the first trilogy. I fly out of another ship and make my way over. Some flagship spews out a massive line of fire, like a square, apparently so the attack on the planet could be made immediately. I flew in and…. yeah.

I was in this room with a doctor-ish person (kinda run down place), and this is in the same vein as the vertibird. Then, someone knocks on the door. I heard their monotone voice, and immediately was suspicious it was a synth. They come in, and it’s this ex-senior Asian guy. I grab a broken crutch and get ready to fight. He tries to say he’s not a synth, and tells me to prove it, and I cut his belly. There’s no blood. Then he starts to brag about how powerful he is and everything I straight-up knock his head off by stabbing him in the neck.

[Wake]

[Notes]:
- This took place after I requested to myself to have a dream with intense feelings... and it seemed to work!
- This is result of my new nightly WBTB practice.
- There was a moment of slight lucidity in here.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[Enter dream (post-WBTB?)]:
There’s a paper that I forgot to read and respond to, and almost everyone in class forgot to do it as well. They would be trying to get it in late with no penalty (Freya, Reyna, etc.) I talked w/ my teacher in a small side-street with one-seater Fallout cars and she said “Maybe.” This may have taken place in the week before spring break?

Warframe. Sophia is a “supporter.” She has these gummies... We decide that we’re gonna go to the citadel of the (Brotherhood of Steel?). We start talking about it when I’m about halfway through the stairway. Then she starts getting a little flirty. We stand by the door, deciding, and she kinda turns into Emma Watson and tries to kiss me from over the shoulder. I kinda slough her off and ask why she'd try to do that so early. Then she says that it was for "trying to get a leg up on her in the stairway." We go to the citadel and as we enter the main building, she kinda sneaks on me and grabs my hand. It was intense, and I've had this moment in many dreams before. I say, “I’m sorry. I know it’s been a long time coming.” She says, “I know.” Then, as we start to go down the steps, I realize that it’s only ever been in my dreams that I’ve held her hand, and I say “Oh, wait. This is a dream.” I continue to walk with her to our new place. On the way, I grab a random thing and read it, saying “Gotta maintain my lucidity!” We’re in the back of the building (very rocky), and I find my desk, and she finds hers. We put down our stuff, and move up to check out. She puts down her gummies on the checkout, and I put a card-thing in to sign up. There was apparently a discount for supporter as opposed to warrior… loophole could let me get stuff for less. Boosters in a hexagon map thing...

SJ was building a bunker/shelter out of some metal that started with “s.” I couldn’t pronounce it in the dream either.

French guy named Jean meets this girl and asks if she wants to Skype with him (in a suggestive manner).

[Wake]

Feeling tired as hell today and only just managed to start writing this up.. >_<

Dream 1 - Skiing
I remember being on a tall snowy mountain, me and another person had been airlifted to the stop and skied down it. It was pretty cool, I remember about halfway down there was a sort of plateau where we slowed down. I think we talked a bit and then continued, then backtracked and went a different way. I can't remember why we backtracked or what we talked about.

Dream 2 - The Orb Apocalypse
I remember there being an apocalypse of some sort (not zombies for once! ) and me and a bunch of other people headed south. We arrived at a special city which had a huge tower that shielded it. In this city there was an award giving ceremony for our people. There were 2 rooms where these awards were given out inside a large stone building (it was a bit smashed up from the apocalypse though). In the room I was in I was pretty bored, I wanted to leave and when there was a short break in the ceremony I decided to leave, despite knowing that I was going to be getting an award in the second half. I exited the main doors and saw across the hall the other award ceremony room. I think I saw someone familiar getting an award but decided to continue outside. It was such a nice bright sunny day in this slightly run down post-apocalyptic abandoned city . I looked up at the shield tower protecting the city, hmmm... It's.. Not on? Or is it? I notice 2 of the elder mages/warriors talking to each other (one teleported to the other to start the talk) and they were talking about how the tower wasn't working. Oh shit, it's collapsing! It happens too fast, it falls onto the two elders who were talking. As the tower hits the ground it creates a rupture in the souls of the two, converting them into orbs of electric energy that are 'absorbed' by an explosion that progresses out from the tower. There's a swarm of orbs that streams across the sky at the now vulnerable city, they coil into a snake-like shape (and I think I even see the orbs turn into snakes) as they attack the denizens in the city. This city is lost, I have to escape now.

Some time later on I'm in a large grass field, I forgot the more important part of this... But I remember the ending . It seems that I'm with a group of people and we just defeated some evil thing (maybe the orbs) and the apocalypse is over. We talk amongst ourselves and share a laugh. We call over a few horses and a lion to ride, I think I ride the lion? We then ride off into the sunset in a pretty cliche movie way.

This dream had a similar world to the dream I had during my nap yesterday, in which I was able to stay in the dream even when I was awake and rolling around in my bed - and when I fell back asleep I'd still be in the same dream world. I've been pretty interested in creating a permanent dream world so the experience is pretty interesting to have it recur the way it did.

#1

This is Shadow the Hedgehog

I had a dream that involved me in an environment quite similar to the apartment space I live with my mother. It was warped in a way that the area inside (my room and living room) were much larger in space and taller in height. My mother told me to get the mail which I did even though I didn't want to and was completely annoyed. I went and got it and gave it to her. She was on the phone chatting to her friend and making comments about how worthless I was and my failure at my previous college and when she looked at the letter and she saw that it was about my other college I applied to and saw I wasn't accepted, she criticized me for it.

However it happened, the next moment I was sitting on the couch with her as there was a TV playing some reality type of show of a guy in a lab coat wearing goggles. It mimicked that of the same scenario in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the lab room and transportation of a chocolate bar. The guy from my dream had amiibos, one with Samus in a top hat (much like the video of one from YouTube that I cannot find right now) and one of Sonic the Hedgehog. The scientist spoke about bringing them to life and he did so by inserting their information into some device that brought them up onto his television screen. Eventually, Sonic was standing out of the TV set, spouting the same phrases as he usually does and the crowd behind the scientist grew ecstatic over it.

I was bothered by it, I knew that I didn't like people who spoke or did stuff dealing with anything Sonic the Hedgehog related since it never seemed to go down the right path nor resonated well with me. It was also something I passionately connected with and seeing that made me feel awkwardly torn. I wanted to go hide in my room and my mother, knowing how I felt about it, started an argument with me. She said stuff like, "Stop being weird!" "Stop acting like a baby!" but I ended up locking myself in my room anyways blocking the door with some sort of umbrella shaped object. (Here comes the most vivid part of the dream) I can remember feeling a strange breeze as if the window was open. I then could see Shadow the Hedgehog. Much more dark in appearance, so dark that his face became almost impossible to register. Shadow's fur was very much slicked down in a somewhat jet black glossy finish. He was standing around half my height and he looked emotionless and almost lifeless, very still like a statue perhaps. Think of it like a ghost/spirit from a horror movie that stands in front of you movement-less. My dream self knew he was alive though but I was too afraid to act since I didn't know what he would do.

Next thing that happened in a split of a second, I was in his arms, carried in a bridle position. Shadow was perched up on the windowsill of my room as he opened the slider mechanic underneath. I looked out to see a large crowd of people. Civilians, paparazzi and news reporters and even the police. They had guns pointed at us ready to shoot. I didn't feel afraid at that moment though, strangely. I looked up at Shadow and I could see a smirk form upon his muzzle as I caught a glimpse of his teeth.

Anchoring himself along the sill, he pushed himself forward over the crowd of people keeping his grip tightly on me. Then I woke up back into the waking world.

• Notes — I figured this dream was reflecting the negative parts of my life (more so currently happening) and how I always wished I could escape and leave this planet. Shadow, being someone I wanted to fulfill my wish, it's no surprise to me for him to appear and carry me out from the apartment. In the end, I will say that the ills of my current life are still a main focus in my mind but the chance of being able to achieve the desired freedom is still in reach of hopes.

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• Date— 1/12/2016

• Went to bed — 2:30AM

• Woke up — 9:50AM

*Time logged — 9:52AM

• Total sleep — +8 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Moderate (I kept having flash backs of past events from being cyberbullied and discriminated in physical life but nothing that brought me into tears)

• Techniques/Practices —

*Daytime — Reality Checks, daydreamed (of Shadow The Hedgehog)

*Recall — Mantras (Stated to myself that I would see Shadow the Hedgehog in my dream and that I would remember it)

*Inducing Method — I listened to some traditional asmr and looked through various picture I had of Shadow The Hedgehog. One in particular is the one I added to the very top of the post.

• Dream Signs — Overly large version of my house, the scientist guy bringing to life amiibos and Sonic showing up, Shadow the Hedgehog appearing in my room, the crowd of people outside my window in a parking-lot type of area where in this physical realm (my window only points out to a bit of grass, a fence and another apartment complex).

• Perceived Length — 15 Minutes

• Emotions — Depressed to Emotionless

• Awareness — None