side notes

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

The following dream took place after a nap on 08-04-2016 so a few hours after the three other entries of today.

I am at a pier, it is late afternoon or early evening. The pier is wooden and one or two ships are docked, also wooden and sailed ships – it feels like this time is around 2-300 years ago, or even set in a fantasy universe where technological development isn't near as advanced as today. It is cloudy and a bit windy (?).

There are a few fragments before I recall the narrative picking up. Which include, being in a pub/inn, which might be on one of the ships or a settled part of the pier. There is something of communion – that is either gathering a party or just being there with friends or associates.

When the narrative pick up, I seem to be floating disembodied above this inn and I notice the clouded weather as well as a sailor – your rugged, politically incorrect stereotypical privateering mercenary type. He is dressed in a sailors outfit – black and white – and he is making advances at a woman, a middle aged wrench, dressed similarly. She has long and curly red hair and is wearing a necklace that looks like a talisman of some description dressed in a dress of black and white with a lot of curly details.

Our sailor is putting an arm around her and making an approach to kiss her, she is smiling and he seems rather determined if not even slightly hard handed in approaching this sexual situation. She lifts up her dress and he approach to enter her, she is smiling somewhat hungrily at him making him aware that she is willing. A person rush behind him and pushes him towards the woman – I feel this push, though watching the situation on our Sailor's left – which forces him deep inside the wrench sparking a concern on my behalf if she is even wet enough for such a quick entry – I don't feel the coitus aspect, only the push.

Our sailor quickly looks about, but can't seem to find the person and so continues to engage in the sexual act. He is however quickly interrupted as many hooded men, dressed in black and a head or two shorter than the sailor starts swarming about. It is clear that they have malicious intent with the sailor and more and more of them approach. A feeling of intensity and excitement arise as the sailor starts fending off the assailants. While still inside the wrench the sailor looks to his left and throw a thundering punch in the face of one of the hooded men, knocking him out. But there are too many of them and quickly they complete their mission, which isn't exactly fatal as expected.

The sailor, the wrench and now me are knocked into the water. The sea is somewhat turbulent, dark waves with frothy crests and we are thrown into barrels – which I observe from a distance further out the sea – and it is clear that we will survive this endeavour.

A voice rings out over us.

“you are not in danger yet, we do not intend to harm you further”.

Associated with the voice is a sense of the hooded assailants following us over the barrels, as if they can either walk on water, roll on the barrels with their feet or fly above. They have a clear intention with us – they need us to do something, we find ourselves participating in a bit of an involuntary mission.

There is a quick skip.

When back we find ourselves in three dingy boats at the shores of a far away land. The sun is bright, not a cloud in the sky, and the sea is rather calm – yet the waves seem to be forcing us towards the cliffs of the shores of this remote land. I myself manage to pull up and start sailing parallel to the cliffs and manage to avoid danger.

The cliffs are dark and contrast the rather bright blue water. They are black and dark red, with hints of brown here and there. Above the cliffs there is a vast area of sandy dessert shining brightly beige in the unimpeded sunshine.

I notice that my companions aren't as fortunate when it comes to avoiding the cliffs. So while I could continue in my boat towards the sandy shores a bit further up the coastline I sail towards an area of the cliffs where I can see a naturally occurring “step” up towards the dessert.

When I get up I meet up with my companions. A woman and a man, the wrench and the sailor – though on the dessert lands their identities seem irrelevant. It becomes apparent that we are now stranded, but that somewhere on this dessert land there is a city and we must find this and procure a ship. I remember being here before and I start explaining.

“There are dangers here” I start out “There are a variety of animals on the desserts” and as I am talking about this I am reminded that there are a number of dinosaurs and beasts, dog like (Varghest) – but massive. I begin to inform about this, but as I do one of the threats emerge from behind a cliff out-spring, that forms a natural door as there are cliff walls on both sides of the hole. In the door appears a pink and chubby dinosaur and we don't get a lot of time looking at it before it shoots a bone projectile towards me and the male on my left.

The projectile is diamond shaped, like two very pointy pyramids joined together at the base with 4 planes running towards the top in a square and pointy fashion. Both the male and I don't manage to dodge it, though I attempt to catch it before it strikes me in the chest – directly at the heart.

As the projectile sinks in I am briefly afraid, but then a reassurance appear at a pre-linguistic intellectual level that I have a certain amount of lives, or layers that I can withstand before I collapse.

I start moving towards the dino in a zigzag fashion and manage to catch the next projectile to immediately throw it back towards it. It sinks into it's throat and within a few seconds the dino is defeated and dead.

Not long pass before a new one appear a bit further up on my right. It is half way behind a stand-alone cliff that rise steeply and pointedly from the sand. It shoots smaller – needle-like – projectiles towards us and I immediately take up the zigzag course again.

To begin with I head pretty much directly towards the dino – which is smaller, not as chubby, but still pink – but then we alter strategy and decide to work together in unison, splitting up and approach the beast from different directions.

I am finally the one that reach it and plug one of the small, but sharp and pointy needles off the head of the beast. I start perforating the throat of the beast, but the first sting does nothing, nor the second and I am reminded that a few holes will only drain the beast of air slowly, so I have patience and use agility to avoid getting in danger of being pierced myself.

Immediate Interpretation: This to me is a hero's dream. The ocean and the confinement in barrels represents a forced emotional turbulent situation, that I will be thrown into and can do nothing but observe and await cessation of – this could easily be relating to Karen's and my relation, the frivolous sailor and the wrench engaged in promiscuous and playful endeavours, that turn into an emotionally tense situation that must be ridden out. Once the storm of this emotional turmoil is over I will find myself in a situation, where I have to overcome challenges, I am likely to have my heart broken and I will find myself in a situation where there is limited support and understanding available, though a few select allies will be able to help me out. The killing of the dinosaurs represent to me the fear of opening up to love – symbolism of pink – and that I will continue to approach this challenge until it is finally achieved, and integrated into my personality – the killing of the dinos – though this doesn't happen in one broad sweep.

Looking up themes: Desert – loss and misfortune – you may be suffering from an attack on your reputation, feelings of loss and isolation. Could signify my fear of ridicule associated with writing my thesis – where I position myself as an emerging shaman – and the loss of prestige I have been expecting for not being the person who writes a PhD, but instead facilitate that others can do this. Dinosaur – outdated attitude or belief, you may need to abandon an outdated habit or patterns of thinking – old issues coming back to haunt you – This I think is very much related to my ego-attachments of the “happy couple” and how “love” is supposed to be played out in a relation between two people – the fact that there are a couple of allies with me might signify a change in cognitive schema's on the whole issue on poly amorousness and being able to let go of the fears of Karen being with someone other than me. Alternatively it might represent conquering my fears of loss in a love relation and the killing a discovery of true, unconditional love.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

Karen and I are lying in bed and we are getting friendly touching one another. She then turns very angry and decisively try and perform oral sex on me. She is very angry and is trying to bite me, though I don't get the idea that she is trying to mutilate me. I try and fence her off a little – as I am not interested in having sex of any kind in this emotional state – but she keeps making her advances, and I keep trying to fend her off until I awake.

Immediate Interpretation: I have experienced a fear that Karen is engaging in sexual activities with me in a forced manner that is she is doing it either to avoid confronting an issue or to please my expectations. In this dream I see the aggressive push for oral sex as this fear of her trying to stifle communication of an emotional/personal problem – as she is blocking her throat chakra – and I feel irritated and misunderstood because she doesn't seem to understand that I am more willing to listen to her concerns regardless of what it may implicate for our sexual relation.

Note: When we had sex the night before and we were lying naked next to one another, looking into one another's eyes she looked away timidly and said “the bodily unrest is back now” and after looking at her and asking where it was, she went on “I had it silenced for a while there” in a cheeky tone. For this reason I think it is rather pointless looking up things and frankly this interpretation makes so much sense to me. Also the anger she is displaying in the dream is representative of my own budding anger at her not feeling comfortable with opening up to me about this bodily unrest, also because it might have implications for my actions – however she may simply not be aware of what it is.

Looking up themes: Willingness to receive pleasure – talking about sex. We are talking about sex and I am explicit about my attraction to her. It could represent the recent fascination with anal sexuality.

Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation

I am at a ski resort. It is an oblong one, with the slopes placed after one another on a straight line. It is bright and sunny outside and the pistes are covered in snow and the scattered pine trees are dark and green looking healthy.

I am speaking with Krimi, who is there as well wearing a bright yellow ski outfit. On the way up in a lift he is explaining that he is actually getting bored of being there. “Sure it is nice enough and fun to ski, however when you do it day in and day out repetitively it becomes so similar.” I acknowledge this position and express my agreement, though I have only just arrived and am eager enough to ski.

Some fragment of talking to Duki at the top of a piste.

Immediate interpretation: Think this relates to the new and exciting relation with Karen, and that we are reaching a plateau where the newness is no longer a sufficient element to build on/learn from. While I have just arrived and still find it exciting Krimi could represent my fears of Karen not really finding the relation stimulating on the same premises.

Looking up themes: Snow essentially can mean a lot of things – the one I found most relevant :To see the sun shining through landscapes of snow, foretells that you will conquer adverse fortune and possess yourself of power “ The colour of Yellow is related to the solar plexus chakra and deals with self-confidence. In this light the dream could be taken to mean that I can emerge on the other side of a personal problem – either related to Karen, the Psychedelic Research Association or with Bjarne for stalling him – stronger. Dreaming of skiing could mean that I am pushing my mental and/or physical abilities to the test – which suggest my relation with the Psychedelic Research association might be the theme for this dream.

Preface:
Got to sleep pretty late, close to midnight. Listening to a lot of Belly dance music, lately, practicing listening for cues. I only did a few mantras earlier in the day. I intended on doing some before I went to sleep, but I got busy playing with my phone, etc.


DR 1
I was in the backseat of a red jeep, being driven by unknown men. Seated behind the passenger seat, I looked out the window to my right. I could see there had been a flood, although I witnessed no rain. There was so much high water in the streets. The driver of the jeep attempted to do what many Houstonians attempt to do during our floods- which is drive through it. We got stuck and the jeep started to sink. We have to go, said one of the guys. I tried to open the door quickly, but when the water came in, I got scared and closed the door. The guys left the jeep and it kept sinking. I finally opened the door and got out...


DR 2
There was a show of some sort. I was supposed to be singing with my 14 yo niece (we sing a lot together in real life) and another person (unknown to me in real life). I was in a small apartment practicing with them- but we hadn't sung anything yet. We could only decide on two songs..I can only recall one.."Stand by Me". We were practicing singing cues...(cues again).

DR 3
A man (in a suit, looking important and in kind of a rush) hands me a stack of manila folders (15-20) and tells me that he needs me to get to the pharmacy "ASAP because the crazy people need their meds!" I do not act surprised by the crazy people comment, but I am surprised that I am being asked to do this. Apparently delivering files is not my job so I am not happy about having to do it, but I do it anyway. Each one of the manila folders in the stack has a million post-it notes on it, with notes written in red and black ink. I can't make out what they say. I don't really try because I realize that this is an urgent task and I just need to get on with it, because I don't want the crazy people out of control. I am walking down the sidewalk and there is still high water down some of the streets. I try to take a detour between some red colored buildings, but I can still see the water on the other side.


Side notes:
Been waking up and having the most random songs in my head. Today's song is none other than the Tag Team's "Whoomp There It Is", which is hilarious but I am not embarrassed. I'm from Texas after all, "Home of the TRILL". Doubt that was an international hit.

Preface:
I went to bed around 11ish or so. I am more mentally tired today than physically tired.
I go so sleep thinking about dream yoga.

Side Note: I could not get Loretta Lynn out of my head yesterday. I don't like country music but Coal Miner's Daughter got stuck in my head without me physically hearing it.

DR 1
In a gym...I'm doing gymnastics on a balance beam. I'm watching myself do back-flips on the beam and I'm actually pretty good. Watching myself, but I am feeling all of the movement. My movements are controlled, but it still doesn't wake me up.

DR 2
I go to visit my mom. She is happy, living in a little house or apartment, I can't tell. She is going to show me something in her bedroom, so I follow her into a nice sized room. There is a king sized bed in the room, and there is natural light coming from a window at the back. There is this little white dog (looks like a terrier) jumping around following her around. The dog is excited to see both of us, and I am thinking, "oh he is so cute! Where did she get him?"

DR 3
I have to pick up a package, so I go to a building across town. It has a walkway..I have to walk a ways to get there. Whatever I came to pick up isn't there. Two guys (tall, lanky, grimy looking guys) are sitting at a table. One of them has dark blonde greasy hair and darker facial hair. They look like they are in jail, but the place isn't a jail. He says he has a letter for me. He holds it up. I wake up before I can grab it.

I recall only brief moments, somewhat hard to describe.

Non-Lucid: I was in a flood & was helping a big family that was all split up & we finally found them all & no one seemed to be hurt. Then we were doing the normal emergency protocols for a big flood. Then I noticed we were in an unusual big manufactured home. There were alot of children. And then the dream took on some really odd turn, which I will now use a spoiler due to the content.

Spoiler for Graphic nature, followed by personal life event:

I noticed that a child about 7 was fondling his sibling who was about 5 & that child was trying to get away from that older one so I intervened & tried to tell the parents. But instead of being disturbed by this fact they were angry & wanted me to leave saying I couldn't be trusted now w/ their secret & I tried to tell them I would try & get some professional help for their family & that things would be okay but they weren't having any of that & wanted me to leave..... With that being said, this is a dream sign for me, which is quite disturbing. I have odd dreams of this similiar nature... So, on that note I have no quams w/ explaining why this is a dream sign for me because I'm a pretty open person...
In real life. When I was almost 14 I was removed from my hometown for fear of my safety.... First off, I lived in a town of less than 2000 ppl, & most of which resided on the outter limits... After my grandmother died my whole family fell apart. We lived on my grandparents land & my mom worked nights & she wasn't very maternal so I had spent alot of time w/ my grandmother being my mother figure & my dad was a very good father. So, when my grandmother died I started acting out & having sex, etc, no drugs, just not being home much, so my parents had taken me to a counselor which was worthless & gave our family terrible advice. And since I kept getting into trouble at school the school brought in a counselor for me who was given permission to tape our sessions... (It should also be noted, that no such counselor had ever even been to our small school, so this was drawing alot of attention to me to begin with.) During one of these sessions she somehow got me to talk about something that happend to me & it was recorded on tape... The following is what occurred: For the previous couple of yrs I was having sex w/ a married man from our church who was 19 or 20 when he was arrested so I guess he was 17, 18 & 19 while this was going on.... I had previouly told my father about this incident & he told me to not tell my mom which I ended up doing because I was a smartass & said my dad had told me not to tell her what we had discussed. She was livid AT ME incredibly. She called me a slut & a whore & in hindsight maybe that was why they agreed to have my sessions at the school recorded. (I was told the recording was for a degree the counselor was trying to achieve) Anyway back to the time of the arrest..... #1 I had a boyfriend who was in my class at the time, & who also was a cousin of the man arrested & I was not engaging in sexual activity w/ this man any longer. #2 My family, my boyfriends family & the family of the man arrested were the primary/prodominant families of our small town. Which means are families had been there for generations & had contributed to the small town.
So, on the day of the arrest I was in a couseling session during school hrs & she had asked me what I had done over the wknd & some how I referred to something about this man. It was in casusal conversation about a place at the school itself & had referred to an encounter w/ the man on school grounds.... I was very young but I knew just as soon as the words came out of my life that this man's life & my life would be destroyed & therefore tried to recant my statement but they called the police & made me give a full account of all my encounters with this man, which included many on the school grounds & in the school itself & of course the first event which took place almost in plain sight across from my church......Afterwards I watched as he was being halled off out of the office & into the police car all the while I was screaming at him that I was sorry. Again, remember I was young... (in all my yrs living there that was only the second police car I had ever seen in our town, so this was quite a spectical) At that point I was removed from my home for safety reasons due to the dynamics of the town & I sure didn't want to go home to my mother, whom as I mentioned, called me a whore & a slut when I told her previously this was going on. So I went to my first foster home & shortly after recieved I recieved death threats, due to his popularity as a star football player at our high school the previous 4 yrs. He also in turn lost his job as a janitor at the school, which he got due to wife being pregnant in her senior year..... I spent the remainder of my school yrs until I was almost 18 in foster homes & the last 2 in a group home... This event destroyed most of my adult yrs in various ways also until I met my current husband who has watched me go through phase after phase of bullshit, until 2 yrs ago when I finally found peace & joy in life. I'm so grateful for him that I can't even describe in words.... Just to be clear, this paragraph was in no way form a dream but a very real traumatic event that happend to me in real life. And yes I know this sounds like a crazy book & I wish it was & that I had never lived through it.....

Therefore, this traumatic event in my life triggers really sick dreams like this occasionally & I try to get help for people in them usually, like in this last one. And also there is the reoccurance of people wanting me to leave for irrational reasons. And yes, these are very disturbing dream signs but they are nonetheless some I have.

I will be doing this! I don't mind the wait. Maybe I can get a few more friends on here by then. Any takers?

Right now I'm reading "So You Want to be a Medium". I was in this section at the library looking for Lucid Dream books & came across this. It has really good meditation technique's & visualization excercises so I highly reccommend it to others who need help w/ meditaion & detailed dreaming... Never discard a book by its title. Instead look into the table of contents. Here's the link to the book. https://g.co/kgs/Okucr

Pre-Sleep Notes:

• Will be FILDing at 4 1/2 hrs and 6 hrs.

Alarms failed. Zero recall.

Notes:

• It took me less than 30 seconds to fall asleep when I woke up at 6-hour mark. And I thought I was too awake for FILD!
• The alarm needs to be louder.

Only recalled fragments:

• Looking at a printed maze (woke up from this)
• Sitting in a wooden gym/theater that is lit by orange light. There is a chinese dragon costume onstage.
• Talking with my my high school counselor about my grades. She's using some sort of futuristic transparent interface thing. Takes place in gym place. (Not my counselor IRL. Actually an assistant principal)
• Talking with my mother in the gym place. She asks: "was it neela?", referring to the counselor. (I don't actually know anyone named neela)

Notes:

• I messed up the volume on my alarm. Did not wake up at planned WBTB time.
• I need to remember to sit in bed for a bit and try to recall my dreams before jumping into the day.

I've been reading a lot about mnemonic memory techniques & came to the conclusion that for me I don't want a scripted list. Instead all throughout my day I look at things, especially ones with motion & say what color they are, what material it is made of & what motion it creates. Exp: Black fan, spins, has metal on it & then I visual the motion & possible other motions it stimulates in my brain.... WBTS method this morning & did not have a LD but I was thinking about my dream house & instead of dreaming about that I did dream of another house with many stairs & all of the ppl including myself had abilities & the colors & details of my dream were much sharper due to using my own technique.

Today is 3/26/2015

No dreams recalled

Notes:

• Apparently, adjusting your sleep schedule messes with dream recall.
• Started adjustment phase to reach 11:00 P.M. - 6:30/8:00 A.M. Sleep schedule.
• Ok, I need practice with SSILD. I fell asleep on warmup cycle #1.
• Possibly need to adjust the length of WBTB.
• The volume on my alarm does a great job of gradually waking me up.
• It's going to take a week to adjust, isn't it?

Had two dreams but forgotten them through the day...

So in the past week i've been taking melatonin due to my lack of sleep lately. It's been putting me to sleep alright, unfortunatly I can't remember any of the dreams i've been having. But somehow I still know that i've had dreams... I think i'm gonna stop taking it an see what happens...