side notes

Feeling tired as hell today and only just managed to start writing this up.. >_<

Dream 1 - Skiing
I remember being on a tall snowy mountain, me and another person had been airlifted to the stop and skied down it. It was pretty cool, I remember about halfway down there was a sort of plateau where we slowed down. I think we talked a bit and then continued, then backtracked and went a different way. I can't remember why we backtracked or what we talked about.

Dream 2 - The Orb Apocalypse
I remember there being an apocalypse of some sort (not zombies for once! ) and me and a bunch of other people headed south. We arrived at a special city which had a huge tower that shielded it. In this city there was an award giving ceremony for our people. There were 2 rooms where these awards were given out inside a large stone building (it was a bit smashed up from the apocalypse though). In the room I was in I was pretty bored, I wanted to leave and when there was a short break in the ceremony I decided to leave, despite knowing that I was going to be getting an award in the second half. I exited the main doors and saw across the hall the other award ceremony room. I think I saw someone familiar getting an award but decided to continue outside. It was such a nice bright sunny day in this slightly run down post-apocalyptic abandoned city . I looked up at the shield tower protecting the city, hmmm... It's.. Not on? Or is it? I notice 2 of the elder mages/warriors talking to each other (one teleported to the other to start the talk) and they were talking about how the tower wasn't working. Oh shit, it's collapsing! It happens too fast, it falls onto the two elders who were talking. As the tower hits the ground it creates a rupture in the souls of the two, converting them into orbs of electric energy that are 'absorbed' by an explosion that progresses out from the tower. There's a swarm of orbs that streams across the sky at the now vulnerable city, they coil into a snake-like shape (and I think I even see the orbs turn into snakes) as they attack the denizens in the city. This city is lost, I have to escape now.

Some time later on I'm in a large grass field, I forgot the more important part of this... But I remember the ending . It seems that I'm with a group of people and we just defeated some evil thing (maybe the orbs) and the apocalypse is over. We talk amongst ourselves and share a laugh. We call over a few horses and a lion to ride, I think I ride the lion? We then ride off into the sunset in a pretty cliche movie way.

This dream had a similar world to the dream I had during my nap yesterday, in which I was able to stay in the dream even when I was awake and rolling around in my bed - and when I fell back asleep I'd still be in the same dream world. I've been pretty interested in creating a permanent dream world so the experience is pretty interesting to have it recur the way it did.

#1

This is Shadow the Hedgehog

I had a dream that involved me in an environment quite similar to the apartment space I live with my mother. It was warped in a way that the area inside (my room and living room) were much larger in space and taller in height. My mother told me to get the mail which I did even though I didn't want to and was completely annoyed. I went and got it and gave it to her. She was on the phone chatting to her friend and making comments about how worthless I was and my failure at my previous college and when she looked at the letter and she saw that it was about my other college I applied to and saw I wasn't accepted, she criticized me for it.

However it happened, the next moment I was sitting on the couch with her as there was a TV playing some reality type of show of a guy in a lab coat wearing goggles. It mimicked that of the same scenario in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with the lab room and transportation of a chocolate bar. The guy from my dream had amiibos, one with Samus in a top hat (much like the video of one from YouTube that I cannot find right now) and one of Sonic the Hedgehog. The scientist spoke about bringing them to life and he did so by inserting their information into some device that brought them up onto his television screen. Eventually, Sonic was standing out of the TV set, spouting the same phrases as he usually does and the crowd behind the scientist grew ecstatic over it.

I was bothered by it, I knew that I didn't like people who spoke or did stuff dealing with anything Sonic the Hedgehog related since it never seemed to go down the right path nor resonated well with me. It was also something I passionately connected with and seeing that made me feel awkwardly torn. I wanted to go hide in my room and my mother, knowing how I felt about it, started an argument with me. She said stuff like, "Stop being weird!" "Stop acting like a baby!" but I ended up locking myself in my room anyways blocking the door with some sort of umbrella shaped object. (Here comes the most vivid part of the dream) I can remember feeling a strange breeze as if the window was open. I then could see Shadow the Hedgehog. Much more dark in appearance, so dark that his face became almost impossible to register. Shadow's fur was very much slicked down in a somewhat jet black glossy finish. He was standing around half my height and he looked emotionless and almost lifeless, very still like a statue perhaps. Think of it like a ghost/spirit from a horror movie that stands in front of you movement-less. My dream self knew he was alive though but I was too afraid to act since I didn't know what he would do.

Next thing that happened in a split of a second, I was in his arms, carried in a bridle position. Shadow was perched up on the windowsill of my room as he opened the slider mechanic underneath. I looked out to see a large crowd of people. Civilians, paparazzi and news reporters and even the police. They had guns pointed at us ready to shoot. I didn't feel afraid at that moment though, strangely. I looked up at Shadow and I could see a smirk form upon his muzzle as I caught a glimpse of his teeth.

Anchoring himself along the sill, he pushed himself forward over the crowd of people keeping his grip tightly on me. Then I woke up back into the waking world.

• Notes — I figured this dream was reflecting the negative parts of my life (more so currently happening) and how I always wished I could escape and leave this planet. Shadow, being someone I wanted to fulfill my wish, it's no surprise to me for him to appear and carry me out from the apartment. In the end, I will say that the ills of my current life are still a main focus in my mind but the chance of being able to achieve the desired freedom is still in reach of hopes.

---

• Date— 1/12/2016

• Went to bed — 2:30AM

• Woke up — 9:50AM

*Time logged — 9:52AM

• Total sleep — +8 Hours

• Stress level throughout the day — Moderate (I kept having flash backs of past events from being cyberbullied and discriminated in physical life but nothing that brought me into tears)

• Techniques/Practices —

*Daytime — Reality Checks, daydreamed (of Shadow The Hedgehog)

*Recall — Mantras (Stated to myself that I would see Shadow the Hedgehog in my dream and that I would remember it)

*Inducing Method — I listened to some traditional asmr and looked through various picture I had of Shadow The Hedgehog. One in particular is the one I added to the very top of the post.

• Dream Signs — Overly large version of my house, the scientist guy bringing to life amiibos and Sonic showing up, Shadow the Hedgehog appearing in my room, the crowd of people outside my window in a parking-lot type of area where in this physical realm (my window only points out to a bit of grass, a fence and another apartment complex).

• Perceived Length — 15 Minutes

• Emotions — Depressed to Emotionless

• Awareness — None

I woke up to the new of David Bowie's death. He said goodbye so often I can't believe it's real this time. He shaped a large part of my teenage years and I started to embrace weirdness, scary monsters and supercreeps thanks to him.
I kind of forgot my dream after that.

Today I went for my daily meditation session later...at 19.00...usual routine, make sure I'm warm enough, dim the light right down, play quiet backgound music. I realise that I am drifting into hypnagogic sleep because I suddenly realised that I was slumping forward from my normal upright stance (I estimate that at least 20 minutes had passed because the music is on its 2nd loop.)

As I slowly straightened with my eyes still closed (I'm well-conditioned to remain with my eyes shut and I always do things like correcting posture or dealing with itches as if it's a slow ritual...so as not to break the atmosphere) Instinctively now, I thought “create a square.”

What I got was a much larger square than normal and inside it was a clear, quite-detailed black and white outline of a house (was it more sepia? Maybe). Then reaction set in...part of me is conditioned to “bring the mind home” for meditation...part of me felt the excitement I got when I first started getting lucid events because this might be another step towards successful visualisation ...and the image faded.

What I now know about brain neurons (my minions as I now choose to call them) is that they begin to work in unison on a set task and the more they band together the better the result. Dare I hope that they have taken the “create a square” task a stage further? Right my little minions...if so start recruiting more because I'm going to try and use meditation to get to a focussed state of hynagogia and train myself to (a) keep calm when I get an image and (b)...the difficult bit...try and move further into a sleep state while remaining partially aware (a WILD of course)

I used to regularly defy convention and attempt to WILD during the day by merely relaxing. I used to get strong SP and really strong “rushes” (as if I was going somewhere) But a dream never formed and I eventually abandoned my attempts because I began to wonder if the strength of the sensations might in fact be damaging something (perhaps my minions were getting a bit punchy.)

Maybe my current ability to meditate is what was lacking before and I'm reaching a more relaxed state. (certainly I cannot create images when fully awake) Interestingly though, I'm not getting SP or the “rushes” this time around...maybe they'll return when I train myself to hang loose and let things move forward.

As I always say...only time...and continued experimentation will tell.

1. Connect to Subconscious: Ask questions to learn more about myself and learn how to make a permanent connection with it.

[Notes]:
- Not much to say. I'm pretty surprised I remember anything at all; I went to bed at 1:30AM.

Lucid Non-lucid Non-dream
[Dream begins]:
So I'm at MPROD and A decides we have to go to my house to meet. It's a post-apocalyptic world, kinda like Fallout, and we drive up to some barn. I disarm some tentacle-mine things... yeah.
[Dream ends...]

Dreamed I went downhill and bought a rust bucket skeletal remnant of a 1971-1976 G.M. Clamshell Station Wagon. Even the frame was paper thin, and I may have paid some ridiculous amount for it. At some point I and the previous owner went in the car, turned a knob and removed the body from the frame. I then moved the body. I also recall going back uphill at some point.

I've had dreams of these cars before. Most of the time they're shown as rusty carcasses of cars and some don't even look like cars by the time they show up in-dream. OK, I admit it's just a car and all possessions end up being destroyed eventually.

Part 1:

The earliest relevant part of this dream started with me in a Walmart parking lot; I've seen one particular van - a rusty 1980s conversion van - parked there which I assumed owned to an employee there in waking life. So, I went there and somehow got into this particular van and decided to paint the interior including the headliner. I was doing this with one or more people; then somehow the focus left me and I'm not sure it was me anymore working on the van, the van was moved over the parking lot and not parked in the same place it was left by whoever left it there.

Part 2:

The next segment showed two teenagers, one caucasian black haired female and a guy who had no facial hair, I think in the Walmart being talked at by Walter White from Breaking Bad (NOTE I have never watched Breaking Bad and had to look up the Wiki page to learn the character's name to post this, I only ever heard a clip from the show in a MLP: FIM parody video) and a woman who was with Walter; the teenagers were working for Walter and that woman. Next, I have to tell you I have a pendant which I'm wearing even as I type this:

https://derpiboo.ru/732561

The teenage girl was wearing it around her neck. Walter then took it off her and said "What the hell is this?" and she said "I don't know!" and wanted to get out of there, though I didn't think it was for what Walter was about to do; somehow he and the three other people were suddenly in a basement or other enclosed area like setting with the teenagers tied up. Walter and the woman then,

Spoiler for spoiled for squeamish folk,:

took a two-person saw like what would be used for a log and cut off part of the girl's butt in a heart shape - I don't think the teen yelled or cried or anything and there was no blood or bleeding and then I think Walter was about to show it to her. No evidence of pain from the teenager came to my mind upon seeing this.

...

Thoughts:

I painted my bedroom several weeks before I had this dream - two to three weeks. It means a fresh start and new things to think about, for me. Painting the van could be much similar to that if not the same thing, and vans go places...

I have to admit I had previously read about people using vans to make meth in, I also knew about the TV show "Breaking Bad" being about making meth. But I have never watched an episode, and although I heard Walter White's name before in that Pony video I didn't pay substantial conscious attention to it. Still, the subconscious works in many ways I don't really know. I did read a synopsis of Breaking Bad, and then learned Walter uses his R.V. in the show to make meth in... And then there's the painting I was doing on the interior of a van, meaning maybe I much want to avoid that route? Yes.

So, with all that in mind I think this dream may be meaning that I have been worrying about the future too much, like Walter; I do wear that pendant which I like, and the worry (Walter; remember his predicament in Breaking Bad) would be like "What the hell are you wearing?" because of what meaning I ascribe to the nice pendant, which doesn't mean to worry about financial concerns or the fact I'm gonna die some day. And if that girl was meant to represent me, I didn't feel a pain in the rear from what the two of them did!

[Notes]:
- By simply focusing on HI as I lightly fell asleep on a road trip, I was able to catch some of the following dreams before waking up.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[HI #1]:
There’s something about this indistinct figure (me? clear person?) buying a shotgun. The shotgun was kinda invisible, with only a couple contours being visible. The figure loads a red shell into it (from the side; it was a sideways-break barrel). There’s some notion of him not being able to have it. Glasses, top hat, trenchcoat? Kinda like Murdered: Soul Suspect.
Looking at the same mall as the Harbor Freight, from about 20 parking spaces back. There’s this brown, thick smoke originating out of nowhere, and it floats to the left, leaving a thick vapor trail. It appears to start getting constrained, as if there’s a clear glass tube around it. The voice of mom says “That unattended mule can drive.”

[HI #2]:
It’s a 50’s commercial. Panning back from the Portal cake, with this plank moving above it. A woman says the motto: “Dozens of bunches for every twelve hundred you choose.”

[HI #3]:
This was created by purposefully thinking of a random story based on random thoughts. I would guide it into a dream semi-consciously, letting my subconscious as well as my conscious work together.
It started off with a strange apparatus that looked like an old telephone hanger, but my brain immediately concluded it was a lighter that hung on the wall. People would go up to it and light their cigarettes, cigars, among other things. It simply zapped whatever you put into it. The young, cartoon-ish inventor, in a top hat, looked to “the camera” and said, “Hey! I’ll call it the auto-lighting lighter -- the auto-lighting-er -- the Auto-Lighter!” Poor people of the proletariat (scruffy lookin’ dudes with grey clothes) would enter businesses solely for the use of the Auto-Lighters, and this caused some civil strife.

[Notes]:
- Used WBTB. The dream came in fairly late after I fell asleep.
- For the longest time I was trying to WILD, but I gave up. I'll have to ask about that!
- Had my first lucid FA!
- I also had a DEILD!? I guess!
- I'd been working on observing HI for a while that day, as well as the night before.
- I'm changing my format to one I've seen around a lot.

Lucid Non-Lucid Non-Dream

[Enter dream:]
So I walk into the new MPC room, and there's practically twenty-five people. Almost all of them are black, except for AI. I look around, and in anarchy people are kinda running around and showing music and stuff. I realize I'm late. TQ (who had a different name in the dream) was showing his newest trap beat to everyone, and it sounded pretty good. People were bopping to him, and he was doing great. My old chem teacher held me up as I did the Hotline Bling dance

Anyway, I eventually got up in front of the club awkwardly. I apologized for being late and said, "I always say welcome to my clubs," as I wrote on this neon blackboard. I wrote "Welcome" in chickenscratch and then some other gibberish about what we were going to do, then realized it was kinda illegible. I picked it up and showed it to a girl in front and said, "Is any of that remotely legible?" And she shook her head. I started to write *more* legibly on the real whiteboard, but I realized I was just wasting everyone's time with it, so I just turned around and started asking people what they do. I asked AI what he does (for some reason I associated him with an avatar of a cartoon eagle), and he cockily replied with some crazy technological thing. He had some contraption that was put together with a button on it... sounded like crap if I remember right. Then, there was this other kid who wanted to go. I asked him what he did, but he kinda had a hard time explaining. He played it. It was a video, but apparently he had overdubbed the speech or something. The bell rang and the club ended.

There was something about going to my old middle school, and meeting siblings of my friends. The dream fragments.

I'm out on the wall in my yard. There's this scrawny little pine tree on the middle of the hill that's not usually there. I go over to it, and then I hear something. I look over, and this little doe is charging me from the west side by the creek. I see it and it comes to me at full speed. It gets close and I freak out and crawl up the little tree. Halfway up, I recognize the nightmare feeling, and I fully realize that I'm dreaming. Just to make sure, I look at my hands, and of course I have six fingers on each hand.

I suddenly wake up from excitement. At this moment, I immediately tried to fall back into the dream. Guess what? It worked!

I'm standing next to the same pine tree. I look around, not lucid yet, and see something under my porch. Something big. It's a moose this time, with a full set of antlers. The fear sets in, and it begins to run for me. At this moment, I recognize the fear, and become aware. It was an achievement to finally be able to dive back into a dream. Call it a DEILD! The moose stands there, and I look at my palms. Again, I've got some odd number of fingers.

Suddenly, I wake up in my room. I turn on the light and look at my hands. TWELVE FINGERS!!! I suddenly realize that I just had my first false awakening. I continue to look at my hands as to stabilize the dream, but it barely works. I see my dog chilling out in front of my bed, looking at me. "Oh, hey, it's a dream character!" I thought. I remembered one of my long-time goals of asking for a joke, and did so. Then I just started hearing my own joke from my own head. It clearly wasn't a subconscious thought.

I woke up and felt relieved. This lucid was the best one I've had in months, and it's great to finally get back in the groove.

Hi,

I'm keeping my dream journals on evernote, it's convenient for me with tagging and all the other features. However, I'll also post some of my dreams here. Mostly lucids only, but also dreams which I feel are share-worthy.

COLOR CODES

• Black - non-lucids as well as commentary.
• Teal - lucids as well as commentary.

Well that's simple enough. Thanks for dropping in! ^^

[Notes]:
- Meh, not too much. at the beginning of a not-stressful week.

[Dream 1]:
This truck (blue or red) and my advisor for chem who is my dad in the dream were out in this field, apparently to do a photo shoot. He's carrying this metal mesh that he's ripped into three or so peices, but suddently this facehugger/horseshoe crab hops out and stings him on the shoulder, and continues to jump around. Apparently, it's poisonous.

[Dream 2]:
I'm at this "Ice Bar" for some sort of community outreach program. It's this big chunky white building, possibly inspired by a Minecraft mod. It's rather empty on the inside, outside of a couple spinny/lawn chairs. Me, L, and S are all in there. S is clearly high as usual and asks me if I want to "hang out" like he usually does, and I reject. L laughs, and I leave...

[The dream fragments...]

I had 4 LDs last night to reach #1000!

RelaxAndDream asked about this LD so I'll share it in case anybody else is curious about it.

I woke up from a dream and heard a child in my room screaming some nonsense. The little (Caribbean?) girl came up to me to where I could see a part of her from under my blanket. I tried to get up but could barely move. I asked her to pull the blanket for me so I could see. She pulled the blanket to reveal a male adult dc beside her covered with white make-up it seemed. I asked his name out of curiosity and he said something I couldn't understand. I asked which country he was from as he spoke with a bit of an accent. He said he was from France and Costa Rica. I woke up.

So, yeah, my 1000th LD was less special that I was hoping it would be. That's okay, though! I had plans to summon and eat a cake and then summon and ride a dolphin in search of a cave to explore, but barely being able to move and being distracted by DCs made a dent in those plans.

5 more LDs and I'll be up to 365 for the year. It's been about 3 in a quarter years since I joined Dream views. When I joined, my LD count was at 20.

As far as LD technique, I've gone back to simply setting my dream control intention and then staring at the blackness behind my eyelids until I start dreaming. With this, I had and caught 3 FAs last night. I've had multiple LDs the last few nights after a dry November and start of December so I'm excited about the future. I really want to get better at dream control and stabilization, though. It's kind of frustrating!

Last saturday 12/12/15 was my last day working at night. On monday of this week I started day shifts.

For last 2 weeks or so, my dreams are so compeletely effed up. Bad dreams with things that...urgh

[Notes]:
- This happened a while back, can't remember much about it.

[Fragment 1]:
I get into my car with a couple of friends (one of them is W). For some reason, the driver's seat is on the right side. I hear these strange gas-like sounds in the car behind me, and I look, and low and behold my friends are smoking crack in my car with a couple of test tubes. I flip out at them, and they get legit scared and run away. I run after them. I eventually find myself on top of this tree house, and these police/neighborhood watch people start shouting at me, scolding me for scolding my friends for having crack.

[Fragment 2]:
Something about my bus being late... turning onto a neighborhood street.

[Fragment 3]:
There was this crazy lightning storm above my house. [DREAMSIGN] It flew over and ended up on the east side, spewing out confetti-like sine wave lightning like crazy.