task of the year

it was very cold the breeze was a deep chain of being crucified in the wilderness I felt as if I been here before or the place same like a familiar setting I start running as I was running the cold pressure got more intense I was frozen in a staring photo as I try to open my eyes I see a pinch black sunset arise from the clouds into a orange crème as the orange took control of the sky I see a pinch dull of blue getting ready to take the sky over as the creamy orange was settling in

I'm staring at a blinding white light trying to type words as the ink of black stain the white pre scene I get engulf in words that are meaningless if they have no purpose the intent of the dream fades as I'm staring upon the glass I close my eyes and start typing words in my dreams as I'm dreaming I cant understand anything that goes on I jus see a floating of words trying to memorize the event that never happen I try to write more yet its just black ink staining the ominous white color as the black ink stains the white I see myself transforming in letters of gesture I only have when my eyes are closed

this is a crucifixion dream I keep getting crucified in a dark alley when I'm laying in my bed
I woke up seeing 3 fire spot that I had to stomp out when I try to stomp them out a fourth fire started then fading out after that I woke up in my bed

Rather late but...

Relevant Part:

I gazed out the window aimlessly in an endeavour to ignore the massive crowd enveloping me...
Suddenly it clicked. I became lucid. I attempted to fly through the window, but failed, instead bumping my head.
I strived once more after reaffirming my lucid state. I had 10 fingers on one hand!
This time I succeeded and after a brief float through the air, I landed myself on a vibrant green lawn.
After an unsuccessful attempt at remembering TOTY, an elderly man suddenly appeared beside me.
I remember the TOTM and ask "Whose dream is this?"
He thought for a while, and then responded "Yours, mine and his in truth"

See personal DJ.

some I'm in a lucid dream trying to get control of my gestures so I can attain a higher form of intellect and knowledge knowing my power is immense I start crucifying my movements with wake jolts that can imprison my body in still infamy then start dreaming about more connecting to the world that becomes a fantasy of virtual demise I start dying the vanish in a vortex of destroyed pixel where my body reform as liquid hydration as I keep dying I notice I have more and more chances to come back to life and try this gestures over and over until it seems fit that what I'm doing is correct

as I wake back up in lucidity I start transforming in melting glass then turn on fire in inhaling grasp my body becomes shrouded with flames haunting and tormenting my body to the exact pleasure of intense heat as a burning desire I try to gesture some more for more intent to wake up from my lucidity as the controlled virtual form of myself start replica forming where when I fall asleep my replica body become more passionate thru the darkness in a onslaught of gestures waking up after taking a power nap I'm in the virtual world again ready to die and keep trying it over and over

a close my eyes and let the abyss engulf me I darkness I will become one with the universe I utter under my breath as the darkness looms over a fantasy of star lights I grasp the darkness with pinch nerves wondering how I wake if I only see nothingness I wonder for a minute as the darkness becomes fading smoke gestures as the light starts taking control I see the darkness expand turn into foolish gestures as they light start glimmering the wakefulness of being up prompts me into waking up some more like I'm transforming dark into light as the light become more temper my mind becomes consciousness as I start dreaming I notice that the light can do whatever it pleases without darkness getting in the way as the gestures become more intent my dream form fades into a light phase of smoke gestures surrounding me in a prison of dreams as I wake I become lucid as I'm becoming lucidity itself the dawn of eternity becomes light and darkness as I try to wake from this sleep I become more powerful until the next time the light and darkness fades

so I made a law of what happens when you close your here number

1.you will be tormented rape and murder on every occasion
2.you will be but a mere blind being before lucidity
3.every nightmare you have is your last awakening
4.every dream is to escape your nightmares
5.last but not least when dreaming and closing your eyes you will only live upon nightmare and murders as I shall commit sins as murder for the time being as the restriction of law as not seeing nor knowing what happens when my eyes close

so this dream starts off as light an dark matter jus swirling around in space so I try to make universes while my eyes are closed so the swirling light and dark matter can do what eva it want to the bending of my will so I start crushing the darkness over and over the shutter of light flickers back and fourth then its a sudden shock everything just becomes a abyss nothing in life matter but this blind wake everything is nothingness and I want to return to the darkness over and over again as the dark matter makes up its own life I find myself upon light where I'm looking for a burning tree as I'm staring everywhere I find myself engulf in clouds under the blue moon light as I'm looking for this tree I see dream false replica forms trying to find the burning tree as well as the burning tree keeps burning it says you will attain magical powers if you find the tree that everlasting and burns for eternity as I was in the darkness the tree started to become on fire as the dark matter nightshade becomes thicker and blacker the tree goes out as the fire was never burning at all as the fire goes out on the burning tree

the abyss takes control then starts forming a fiery shade of black abyss as a tree disenagrates an turns to nothing but ashes as thy burning tree ends the story of the darkness sets in forever as the dark an light matter become more blind to itself the story of darkness never ends as the burning trees starts another fire of shame

so starting off the exile plane is the lowest vibration in the astral dimension your already in the exile plane its like waking up and getting your keys and going to the store this is the astral form of the exile plane or like exiting a theater the movies this is what the exile plane is all about exiting dream form to wake up back in still infamy now a lot of people live in still infamy and there nothing more to do but tv and computers wrong so when you dream that your in exile like alone and never being able to have contact with anybeing beside yourself you have to make up dream worlds and astral dimensions this plane of existence is by far the best dimension of all astral planes to make it to the exile plane all you have to do is wake up exiting a dream you past had yet you have to always remember how you got out of that dream an woke up upon still infamy now in still infamy we sleep we watch tv we play games this is how you control the exile plane its reality amplified by dreaming now to induce a exile plane dream all you have to do is think and your in the exile plane. NOw for the dream false replica body this is where your dreaming and you wake up in your dreams as someone else that's happens a lot for a lot of people how to notice your false replica dream form is for how you to decide how you want to dream in the after life in the false replica dream form you take on different characteristic then your usual reality form as your dreaming in this body you take control of their entire aspect of their life as your own yet its always the same thing over and over you have to notice when thus happen your exiting dream to wake up in still infamy for a reason if you were to plunge in a dream where you kept dreaming you would of never made it to the exile plane yet in the false replica form you know the difference between you and yourself

I wake up from WILD into my house and use the door trick to enter a different place. I walk through the door and am in a void until I spawn in a classroom, which turns into a train, then a plane. I remember the Task of the Years, and I run down the hall to beat up the pilots and fly it myself for a while until we go through the time warp and stop in a futuristic tunnel like place where the plane becomes a train again.

I am in a new city. I exit the plane, fly above the city and watch the sunrise. It is daytime now, and I can tell that this is a futuristic dystopian city of extreme order and control by the layout of the buildings and the bizarre architecture.

I descend to Atlantis with a dolphin' assistance.
In the air bubble, I land in a strip shopping center next to a road. The shops are all a hospital or doctor center. Thousands of people dressed on blue are swarming in and out, and I feel terrified. I run to the left and right, only to be confronted by more. I did not feel like a medical check up, so I retreat to a Juice Bar.
There is a large queue and I am unsure what to order.

There are large posters hanging from the ceiling, but these are constantly changing. A few posters are chocolate flavored ice, and a sweet drink with pink icing in the shape of a classical rose.
It is called the 'Pink Hispanian'
However, the price tag on it is large. (why am I thinking about finances when I am lucid dreaming?!)
I notice on the wall someone has taped some of their composed cello studies. One is labeled 'What I thought they looked like'
Another was labeled 'What they do'
The main difference is that the latter study had eight lines of music, not one!
Eventually, I must choose something to eat or drink. I cannot find the menu, but the lady at the counter hands me one. Included on the list is 'Watermelon Chips'. Everything is overpriced. She asks me who is going to the hospital. I lie and say my 'wife' is taking the dog in.
However, this is where everything got more nightmarish. I couldn't find my credit card!
I could only find several public transport cards and an Atlantis card, which I didn't know what to do with.
It was blue with numbers on some sort of scale.
Finally! I find several blue 50 cent coins. They have special patterns and I am reluctant to sell them.
They each have written on them in capital letters:
Quangle
Butterfly Boutique
Mozart

This is a DEILD where the dream forms outdoors with not much around. I think about the alien task of the year. I confidently know the flying saucer is up ahead. I see it by a rock formation. The ship is somewhat oval shaped with rigid panels. I enter and sit and there are lighted controls above me that I press to get the ship moving. I explain to my copilot who is already inside what I'll say when we get to the planet as my way of reminding myself the points of the task. It is not long before we arrive. We stop and I get out of the ship. This alien planet is not very interesting. Its dark, I'm on ridge at a ranch-like setting with less around, overlooking a bland desert city somewhat lit up in the distance, below and well out from the ridge. The aliens are seemingly formless. I'm making out only a watery shimmer in the space I assume they occupy. I hold up peace fingers and say my line "I come in peace and I want to learn your ways" and then I ask them to teach me something…I am led to a small garden, up ahead near some possible living structure, growing something like vegetables and they telepathically tell me "food and family (are what it's all about)." I think more about their appearance as the scene fades and I get an image of a black draped and black crepe-faced or masked figure. The craft was quite cool but the planet was not very exciting. I should have let my mind run wild with all of the exciting possibilities for where I would land, which might have produced something more spectacular.

I go back to sleep fairly quickly so once again I have an NLD before brief wakefulness and then DEILD entry with eye clench (to confirm strength of vibrations) then visualization to try to influence scene. Seems NREM visuals...an extended period of flying through odd visions mostly like space-scapes, not that different from those on Twin Peaks The Return episode 8 which was mostly trippy visions. There were voices; I couldn't make out what they were saying. Towards end my mind recalled some of the creepiness of Twin Peaks from last night and the little bit of schema poisoning teased and then dumped in a DV thread recently (I just remembered, among the last ethereal scenes included panther eyes in the dark, after seeing a cheetah on TV IWL) but I handled it well with a sense of my own power much like facing creepy spaces IWL. Weird scenes blur out, as part of my subconscious solution I'm guessing. Then exploring some darkish rooms and halls with DC's.

I want to do another TOTY so I spin while imagining a snow covered mountain for the sled task. I find myself in the snow at the top of a mountain with snow blowing and not giving me much to look at. I form my sled with my hands motioning the outline of a small one man sled. I get on and I go down at a medium speed. As I approach the bottom I imagine the earth opening up and I go down further which leads to calm endless ocean that I float above for a bit.

I want to do this again and see if I can make it more interesting by going down faster and I'll make it notably cold while I'm at it. I spin again and imagine being back at the top and feeling the cold and it works again. I notice the cold air and this time I just assume the sled is already in my hands and I hop on it in mid-air while aiming down hill. This time it feels fast, out of control and much more thrilling. I still didn't try to influence what I got at the bottom but after having the ground at the bottom open up it leads me to something different this time. It leads to shallow stream with lots of pebbles visible through the clear water that I float just above following the stream. Water both times interestingly, though vastly different bodies of water.

After flying a bit I find myself indoors. I explore.

Spoiler for sexual content:

I get some bj's and also I am back to intercourse this time, in a hallway. Going around looking for sexy DC's. One group sitting around a table and I choose one for a bj.

I wake after a good amount of fun.

I finally got back to the TOTY tasks (in the BOLD section)...

11pm+ up 1148pm to bathroom 12am-btb 550am something based on recent thoughts and events. *605 btb perfect again! The earliest dream I recall at the moment is at <snip for privacy>. Next memory is riding on the hood of a truck on the side of the hood with one girl and the other more in the middle of the hood close to the windshield maybe CM and her sister C at this point (transitions to little Ms CM and my younger brother in law). It feels a little precarious sitting on the hood as we make some turns but the driver is driving slow so we don't fall off easily it seems. At some point we get off and I see yellow shoes on the street and as we drove a little further I wondered if it was her shoes that fell off and I wanted to make sure she wasn't going to try to go get them in traffic. We start walking wherever we're going and I see this vending company dropping off this taffy candy like thing, a refill of the machine I think and it looks like we're outside of a school. It looks like we're going in to the school probably a high school and I think how I thought last night that I didn't fix my hair when running an errand and I say to one of them that I wasn't planning on going anywhere so I didn't fix my hair or wear anything nice. Oh before that when we're walking I was saying you know your brother C (I'm confused, he's my younger brother in law) is real nice, it's nice to have a brother like that, but she's walking next to me instead of him and she's smiling. I asked "I wonder what you would call me?" and she just smiles. I was thinking something like Uncle or Brother and it looks like she was thinking boyfriend. Anyway we go into the school and it transitions to looking more like a hospital and more than a few horror scenes with injuries etc but I don't seem to be bothered by it. I'm mainly concerned with where she went and I ask one of the people we're with and they said that they think she walked down that way, so I walked down the hall with all of these open bays with patients in them and I must have realized how crazy this was or my lucidity just came to me and I realize that none of this matters, I am dreaming, and I just start dancing there in the hospital to the song of the summer "standing in the bright lights" whatever the name of the song is. At some point it transitions to a classic rock song from maybe the 70s. One of those pop rock songs. After a bit of dancing I think about the task of the year and try the same thing I tried before and this time it works! I basically say "that sounds like an elephant" and sure enough I start hearing the sound of an elephant, it's bugle cry and stampeding feet and it hasn't fully materialized last yet but I can hear it more and more and the hospital scene around me has turned gray and I see a flash of gray and I jump up floating up in the air and land on what I take to be the elephant until it materializes and I go riding off in what now is an open plains area and I say there is the jungle up ahead and shortly after I'm stampeding through a jungle on the back of this elephant. I remember how the task mentioned what sounded like a bit of a violent romp through the jungle and I didn't think that would be my kind of thing but it was quite a bit of fun especially knowing that none of this is real, no one's really being hurt. I now intentionally seek to trample villagers and small huts on my path through the jungle and I succeed in doing so but the joy was really in just the brisk gallop through the jungle. I get to this ridgeline and I'm looking down over this beautiful valley where the jungle starts to clear and I am taken by how clear and vivid and beautiful all of this is, much like I was taken by the extreme vividness of what I took to be HHs when I was first going back to sleep after short wbtb. In hindsight I think I was already dreaming at that "HH" point, probably NREM and then nothing before the REM started. By the beginning of REM my awareness wasn't there but it came back to me towards the end maybe 5 minutes before waking. Anyway back to the Jungle scene: I'm almost in tears at the beauty and completeness of the scene below me and I consider making myself wake up to recall everything fully. I don't remember making the decision to wake up but I wake up shortly after, whatever the reason. The strong set of grassy sea practices during wake back to bed, even if wake back to bed is short like in this case, seems to be a very effective for producing strong lucidity.

Ritual: The new Twin Peaks started last night, so I watched the usual Sunday shows in their second round and didn't get to bed until after 2am. I woke around 7 or 8 and looked at my iPad a bit, enough to wake up my mind, with the usual vague intention to make this into a WBTB, but the only other mental preparation I did was to remind myself that dreaming involves proprioreception, so I should pay attention to my whole body as I fell back asleep. It was 9am when I woke after the dream, which I felt had lasted only a few minutes.

FA-WILD: During my WBTB, my husband mentioned that he was going to the grocery store this morning, so when I was half-woken by the sound of the garage door, I knew he must have left. This much was evidently a real perception, but right after that, still believing I was half awake, I heard voices. I knew my brother was in his room on the other side of the house, but I couldn't account for the other voices. [DL: My brother lives on the other side of the country, and the room I thought he was in does not exist.] Was he on the phone? But there were several voices, and the sounds of people moving around. Had he invited friends over? Then I recognized one of the voices as that of my maternal grandmother. [DL: She died over twenty years ago.]

Despite the dreamlogic, these observations did actually make me wonder if I was dreaming the voices, not because of the incongruities that would have been obvious to a waking mind, but only because of my conviction that if my husband just left for the store, then no one else (besides my brother) should be in the house so early in the morning. I tested to see if I was getting any dream imagery, and sure enough, when I partially closed my eyes, the four flaps of a manually closed cardboard box appeared superimposed over the rumpled covers of the bed that I had thought I was seeing with my waking eyes. [DL: In retrospect, is it apparent that everything I observed after hearing the garage door was already in dream, so I was mistaken in believing that I had woken up. My mind was half awake, despite the dream logic, which is what led to the confusion about which perceptions were dreamed and which were real.]

I realized that if I was already seeing dream imagery, then if I was careful I could probably "get up" out of bed and into the dream just like I do in WILDs. This was easily done. I crossed the room, an accurate likeness of my bedroom, and opened the window to look outside toward what I understood to be my brother's room, on the second floor above the attached shed. [DL: The shed has no second storey.] The ground was covered with snow, and I did recognize that this was incongruous with the current season. It gave me the idea to do the TOTY that I had attempted a couple times earlier, the sled ride.

The last shot of the final show I watched last night was a woman diving backwards over the edge of a boat to go scuba diving. It made an impression on me because I had only ever dived into water face first, and at the time I had tried to imagine what it would feel like to enter the water that way. Now, as I was about to jump out the window, I decided to do it backwards like a scuba diver. For a moment I felt like I was falling and wondered if I would actually hit the ground, but then the nongravity of dream caught me pleasantly in an inverted arc, and I settled gently to my feet.

I remembered the last few times I had attempted the sled task, and how I had overcomplicated it to the point where I kept waking up before I could finish. This time I decided I'd better just get it done, even if my solutions weren't elegant. So instead of going to the trouble of finding or manifesting the necessary sled and mountaintop, I just asserted these conditions into existence. I'm on a sled, riding down a mountain. As is typical when I "brute force" things in dream, initially it felt like a fiction, but soon I began to feel plausible sensations of sitting on a sled and sliding down the snowy slope. It was far from my best work, but it sufficed.

I was sufficiently familiar with the task that before I had even intended it, my sled slipped through an irregular opening like the mouth of a cave, into a wide dark space. But then I wondered if this was good enough—I hadn't read the terms of the task in ages. Would a cave suffice, or did it have to be a proper hole through the surface of the earth? I couldn't remember, so I decided to play it safe and conjured a perfectly round hole, like the sort of thing you might see in a cartoon, just in front of me on the lower floor of the cave. My sled and I slipped right through, and at this point my interest perked up, because I didn't know what to expect, and had not planned or intended anything past this point.

It was dark down here, and I had no sense of the borders of the space, yet I could see the details nearest me perfectly well in the nonlight of dream. The place felt public and even familiar—familiar as a type rather than a specific location—but I can't think of how to relate it to anything in WL. A "town square" might be the closest analogue, but of course in WL town squares don't tend to be in enormous caverns underground.

I felt my mind shift over into observation mode and began to take deliberate note of the things I saw, but at the same time I felt really hungry and couldn't resist impulsively tasting everything. [WL: I hadn't eaten much for dinner and had even felt hungry again by the time I went to bed, so this was a genuine bleedthrough sensation.]

My sled had disappeared in the transition through the hole, so now I was on foot. The first object that I passed, on my left, was a piece of fabric that had been fashioned into the form of an elephant, about about eighteen inches wide. It was attached to the top of a pole stuck in the ground, elevating it to just above waist height. I pulled the fabric elephant off the pole to give it a closer look as I continued to walk. White was the dominant color, but the details were stitched in brightly-hued threads, red and blue and green. The base fabric had a thick pile, almost fur-like, akin to what you might see on a stuffed animal, but the object overall was flat, lightly padded like a thin quilt. My hunger impelled me to take a big bite, and in my mouth it had the taste and texture of a sort of bland taffy. (Tastes are rarely very distinctive in my dreams.) I dropped it and moved on.

The next object I encountered was also on a waist-high pole, and about the same size as the elephant. This one was made of paper and a bit more three-dimensional—it resembled a large origami fish folded from patterned paper. The taste and texture were even less remarkable, but I was so hungry it felt good to be chewing something.

As I observed with mild amusement the way my hunger was driving me to try to eat things that didn't even resemble food, the rational part of my mind responded that this being a dream, there was no reason I shouldn't try to eat literally anything I could see. I put this to the test, breaking off random bits of any surface I came across and nibbling on them. One thing I remember distinctly was a table. It was a round table covered by a long, dark-hued tablecloth. I think there was a vase of flowers in the center but otherwise it was bare, so I grabbed a hank of the tablecloth and started noshing on that. I was cramming far more in my mouth than I ever would in WL, but I didn't worry since I knew that this stuff had no real substance.

I was still in snacking mode when I came across a white-bearded gentleman in a navy blue blazer. The bronze buttons caught my eye, and without so much as saying hello, much less asking permission, I reached out and twisted off the top button, bringing it to my eyes for a closer look. Tiny convex letters around the top spelled out "Bartholomew," and a small human figure occupied the center of the button. "Saint Bartholomew?" I asked the gentleman from whom I had taken the button, while trying to remember if there was really such a saint or if I was just free associating. [WL: I still wasn't sure so I googled it. Apparently Saint Bartholomew was an apostle, and although I was not consciously aware of that, I suspect the influence of day residue, because in The Leftovers last night several disciples were mentioned, and I've never been able to keep disciples and apostles straight.] The man shook his head, and when I looked again at the button I saw the letters rearrange themselves into the name "Balthus," which seemed to make a bit more sense... in a way that I can't entirely explain. Still hungry, I licked the button. I thought it tasted a bit sour and metallic, a bit like licking a D battery but without the tingle. The bronze button had been darkly tarnished but now gleamed where I had licked it, so I licked it a few more times to polish the highlights. I looked at the letters again and now they read "Ubewiz," a name meant nothing to me, though I thought it sounded vaguely Polish. [DL: I just noticed the symmetry between the verb "polish" and the adjective "Polish," so I suspect dreamlogic lay behind this observation.]

FA: I woke up (so I thought) and immediately fished my dream journal out of the bottom drawer of my bedside table. [WL: This was a realistic detail, because although usually I keep it right on the table next to the bed, for the past few days it has been in the drawer.] I flipped through it and couldn't find a single blank page, but I didn't want to waste any time so I started writing my notes in the margins. I was jotting down keywords: "Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz," read the first line. Then I included brief notes about the fabric elephant and origami fish. I hadn't gotten very far when I woke up again and realized that I had been taking my initial notes in a false awakening and would have to start over, so once again I pulled my journal out of the drawer and wrote—grateful for the blank page this time—"Bartholomew, Balthus, Ubewiz."