Recent DJ Posts

Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday.



I am wading through a shallow stream along its course (seemingly north by way of liminal perception of my real physical body in bed). I eventually notice two unknown people, a male and a female, on the bank to my right. The water is only up to my knees. The experience is vivid and peaceful. There is the idea that the unknown male is going to make a dam. At least he suggests building one, though I am the one to make it.

He says that he will use about ten to fifteen trees to make the dam but the female is seemingly annoyed by this. The concern is related to a loss of trees in the dense forest on either side of the stream. I consider her concern, but there does seem to be plenty of trees around.

I create the dam by mentally tapping each tree (without viable lucidity, only by way of typical liminal dream control where I do not know I am dreaming but still control the dynamics of the dream state), which for a time, only seems about as big as a pencil as it falls across the stream.

After this, I notice the water lowering to where it is only about as high as my toes, though this is seen on both sides of the log dam, which puzzles me. How could water lower on both sides of a dam? I mentally step over the dam and continue to follow the stream’s course to a small pond.

“This is a shallow reservoir,” says the male.

I notice a very large footprint that is about the length of a car. It is facing back towards the stream. This singular footprint is what had apparently caused the pond to form (which of course is unlikely, though my dream self does not rationalize). I first consider that it is a footprint of a tyrannosaurus. Looking more closely, I report to the others that it was made by a giant duck. There is no sense of danger as I perceive most of the imagery in my dream as beautiful.

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Return flight waking symbolism (in this case, the presumed giant footprint of a duck combined with the water lowering waking autosymbolism) has been a main component of my dreams since early childhood.

Because of my slightly restless sleep, there was one other dream featuring a dam on this day, but with different dynamics and a more dominant preconscious.

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I go back to sleep fairly quickly so once again I have an NLD before brief wakefulness and then DEILD entry with eye clench (to confirm strength of vibrations) then visualization to try to influence scene. Seems NREM visuals...an extended period of flying through odd visions mostly like space-scapes, not that different from those on Twin Peaks The Return episode 8 which was mostly trippy visions. There were voices; I couldn't make out what they were saying. Towards end my mind recalled some of the creepiness of Twin Peaks from last night and the little bit of schema poisoning teased and then dumped in a DV thread recently (I just remembered, among the last ethereal scenes included panther eyes in the dark, after seeing a cheetah on TV IWL) but I handled it well with a sense of my own power much like facing creepy spaces IWL. Weird scenes blur out, as part of my subconscious solution I'm guessing. Then exploring some darkish rooms and halls with DC's.

I want to do another TOTY so I spin while imagining a snow covered mountain for the sled task. I find myself in the snow at the top of a mountain with snow blowing and not giving me much to look at. I form my sled with my hands motioning the outline of a small one man sled. I get on and I go down at a medium speed. As I approach the bottom I imagine the earth opening up and I go down further which leads to calm endless ocean that I float above for a bit.

I want to do this again and see if I can make it more interesting by going down faster and I'll make it notably cold while I'm at it. I spin again and imagine being back at the top and feeling the cold and it works again. I notice the cold air and this time I just assume the sled is already in my hands and I hop on it in mid-air while aiming down hill. This time it feels fast, out of control and much more thrilling. I still didn't try to influence what I got at the bottom but after having the ground at the bottom open up it leads me to something different this time. It leads to shallow stream with lots of pebbles visible through the clear water that I float just above following the stream. Water both times interestingly, though vastly different bodies of water.

After flying a bit I find myself indoors. I explore.

Spoiler for sexual content:

I get some bj's and also I am back to intercourse this time, in a hallway. Going around looking for sexy DC's. One group sitting around a table and I choose one for a bj.

I wake after a good amount of fun.

I was at a retail store. I do not remember my purpose there but shit got real real fast. I was told of a plan orchestrated by an underground organization to resurrect Adolf Hitler and unleash his reign of terror over America. The goal was to incite fear among the American people so that they would be vulnerable to propaganda and fear mongering. They had already succeeded in raising Hitler from the dead now they were ready to send him to America. The plan was to have him swim across the Atlantic Ocean from Europe to The United States. Once here he would be free to terrorize the American people. We had to stop him but it was too late. There was a stream the flowed through the store and connected to major rivers that flowed directly into the sea. As we moved to try and stop Hitler from getting here I saw him swimming up the stream singing what sounded like and old German tune.

Now what were we to do? Hitler was here and now he was free to unleash his reign of terror. I watched as he swam up the stream and attacked a woman like a shark. It was brutal. This was without a shadow of a doubt the greatest threat to national security. We had to do something. I would never get a chance though. I woke up before I could stop him.

I just woke from a night that was thick, rich, dense with dreaming, but the recall was scattered and sparse, which makes me ponder the nature of dream memory. After this last waking, I lay there for some minutes without being able to remember a single thing, not one detail, yet I knew for certain that I had been dreaming. This is a peculiar state of mind, the ultimate experience of ambiguity. I lay back down on the bed sideways across the covers so that I would not accidentally fall asleep again, and then let my mind drift, looking for the particulars. At first it seemed hopeless, like groping through mud, until through some mysterious process a tiny detail took shape...

...near my new house, a stream full of fish, all sizes and varieties...

That detail links to more images and events, and then there all are, as vivid as life, all those memories that had seemed to be lost, and might have never been recovered had I not taken the time to seek them...

...I look forward to fishing, catching my own dinner... is the water clean enough? I need a fishing pole, I can buy one right now on Amazon, I'm sure they sell them, it will be here in two days... or is this the sort of thing I should buy in person? find a sporting goods store, feel the weight and balance in my hands first, try out the cast...

...and finally I'll have somewhere to shoot my bow! so nice to have space again.... but my bow and target are still in my old house, I won't have them until we complete the move... guess I'll have to be patient...

...a bit concerned about the neighbors, though, that father yelling at his children, hitting them with tires, and so openly, right in the yard! should I call and report? but surely someone has tried before, and nothing has changed. I walk back that way and he's still at it, now they're all carrying tires, all four or five children, and he's still hitting them, yelling "we don't put wood in the house!" what does that mean? all houses have wood in them, it's a basic building material... I should inquire with the other neighbors, something has to be done... at least my house is across the stream, away from here, secluded in the woods...

And this reminds me of yet another dream...

...the two boys were living in such a house, alone in an open field, only woods on all sides. the old man must have been living off the grid, so no one knew when he died, and they quietly took over the house... his guests become his heirs... what did they do with the body, bury it in the yard? and then the seclusion let them build their operations, what was it, computers? what were they trying to accomplish... still can't remember...

And another...

...but before that we were looking for someone, an uncle?...can't just "lose" someone these days, not unless they don't want to be found... it takes a lot of care not to show up on the internet, to avoid social media entirely. the only clue we had was a partial bag of english muffins, not sure what that can prove, but then I wonder if the city where it was purchased is printed on the bottom... sure enough it is... but it is the name of my own city! is he here, or is this not even the right bag?

And so on... from no memories at all, to more than are worth writing down.

What would have happened to those memories if I hadn't taken the trouble to consciously retrieve them? What happens to all the memories of the dreams we don't remember, or have forgotten? Is there a kind of deep storage? I think there must be, because from time to time they come swimming up in flashes, like fish catching the light near the surface...

....a gleam of light against the wall of the building across from us, like a tile of glass catching the sun... Arya isn't paying attention, I catch her eye and direct her toward it with my own... she looks the wrong way and I have to pantomime the gaze even more cartoonishly before she sees it... we are under observation and can't speak aloud... but at last she sees the gleam and we go over to find out what it is... I think it is magic itself, these signals... this isn't the first... but is it directed by a person or inherent in the world, plot, fate? we climb the stairs inside the building and open the door at the very top... with satisfaction I perceive it is a magical goods store, and actually tell the lady proprietor what brought us there... perhaps she or something she sells here can assist us in our predicament...

That was yet another from last night, where my own turn of phrase, "catching the light," caught the memory. But often I'll be sitting around doing things in waking life and apparently random glimpses will surface of dreams I know I had years ago, probably ones I never even wrote down, yet in some obscure way they still shadow me. Where and what are memories when we're not remembering them? Dream memory feels like it is stored separately from waking life memory, which would make sense if we need to distinguish the two to maintain sanity. But maybe that sense of separateness only comes because dream memories do not fit into the established contexts of ordinary life... at least for me, where dreams and waking life have so few qualities in common.

There are people who hardly remember their dreams at all... are those dream memories buried inside them as if in some secret vault? Could some odd balance of brain chemicals unlock it, bring them all flooding back, the dreams of a lifetime?

I was stressed about work. How am I going to complete all the obligations piling up this month, which is already getting shorter? I figured it would be best to prioritize. I should be able to finish the map in an afternoon if I get the right materials together. I thought about what I would need to finish it, and came up with vellum and archival paper. Fortunately I knew I already had these somewhere and was pretty sure where I had last put them, in a box in the storage area. I could see it in my mind's eye. I had woken up early and wanted to go retrieve them, but the rest of my family was still asleep.

My mother, brother, and father were all staying with me in the house and I didn't want to disturb them by walking through the building and rummaging around in boxes. I decided to go outside for a walk instead. I walked down the stairs, which were littered with all the discarded santa masks. This struck me as odd at first, but I reasoned we must have had a holiday party yesterday.

Outside it felt like early morning, and there was a narrow stream of clear water nearby. Next to the stream was a small building of naturally weathered wood, a sort of shed. Just after I entered it, it occurred to me that even though I know I'm awake, I should practice some RCs to instill good habits. No one else was around and there was no reason not to do a blatant one, so I jumped. Yes, just as I thought, it's obvious I'm awake, because that felt perfectly normal. But just for good measure I should do it a few more times in order to internalize the feeling of what a proper jump feels like in waking life.

So I jumped in the air several times in succession, concentrating on that critical moment at the apex, when the upward motion reverses and gravity takes over. I knew that I would be able to tell if I were dreaming because the timing would be off, that moment would feel drawn out slightly, extended. Hmmm.... it isn't, is it? Was that a touch of hesitation at the top? No, I'm pretty sure this is natural. I've just never concentrated on it sufficiently before, my attention is making it seem more pronounced.

And yet... it does seem a trifle too long. Could it be...? What if...? I had just begun to seriously consider the possibility that I might be dreaming after all, when I woke up in bed. Only very slowly did I come back to myself and realize that all the things I had taken as evidence that I was awake were wrong or askew, signs of false memory. The building and surroundings that seemed so familiar at the time were pure dream space, unlike any place I know in waking life. It made sense at the time that my whole family was there, but the only accurate part is that I'm currently sharing a hotel room with my mother. The anxiety about work is real enough, but it was only well after I had written down my initial notes that I realized that in the dream I had felt responsible for an additional project that didn't exist in WL, in addition to the real ones. Finally, as I initially lay in bed reviewing the dream, I didn't even notice how I slipped back briefly from genuine waking into an FA, and briefly found myself another place entirely, which only transitioned again to lying back in bed once I reached the point where I felt I had enough grasp of the memory to get up and write.

Okay so at some point I decided to try a WBTB, so I started my little alarm clock program and went to sleep. Once again at some insane time.

Ended up sleeping through the alarm (wasn't loud enough), but still had a few dreams, only one I can actually recall.


non-dream dream lucid
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Overthegun is here, and he's streaming and he's got >1000 viewers. He's talking a bunch of nonsense.

Later on, I'm in some arena that kinda looks like a pokemon arena. I see a fireball come towards me from the sky, and it lands near me revealing a pokeball, which releases a mewtwo or something.
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Woke up around 1400! Need to sort this out!


I've been slacking on ADA yesterday and this is the result.
Need to get more motivated.

It was a partly cloudy day, the air was thick, and I was in a swamp. I stood in front of a stream of water, and I had to get to the other side. I jumped in the water and became completely submerged. The water was green but clear, enough for me to see about 20 to 30 feet ahead of me and wasn't tainted, so I swam. As I continued swimming all was normal, fish were swimming by me going with the flow of the water, was clear. I swam further and reached a part of the water where crocodiles were relaxing. I felt no fear for none were paying attention to me so why bother them. I continued to swim, as I was swimming one humungous crocodile swam really fast, chewed up a smaller crocodile and dragged it away, "HOLY SHIT!" I thought to myself.

After leaving that area of water snakes were swimming by me, there were many. So many that as I was swimming in front of them, they were bumping into me as they were swimming by. I thought quickly as they were going to slow me down. I covered my head and spun my body like a drill so the snakes would swim around me like Hydrodynamics. After I was past the snakes, next came shit. Shit was now flowing through the stream of water, the water was still clear but there were many large long clumps of shit going by. At this point I became very disgusted, I thought to my self "Fuck this!" and started to swim to the surface. I wasn't drowning nor was I struggling I just didn't want to swim through shit. As I reached the surface I was met by a bright light, then I awakened.

6:30 AM
Poor Recall

Quick notes on these recurring locations.
There are basically two overall settings in this dream. Both are massively large and "arcing" settings outside either end of my childhood hometown which is a small country town in the Sierra Nevada foothills near Yosemite National Park. The two settings are connected in some way(not just physical transition). The two can mostly be distinguished by the types of "out of place" locations that get mixed in, DC that I see, and % of time I spend looking down compared to being near to the ground.
The lower end is further away and mostly West South-West. The upper is closer and located between South-East and North-East. I almost never wonder outside of these areas while in these settings.

OK Dream Bit One
Outside east end of town a new plaza is constructed, could be open but I don't see any many cars and there is a line of confusing road signs all cluttered and blocking. I think I was headed to the plaza for some reason but I'm not sure why. (note: this may be representative of my waiting to hear back after a job interview.)

Dream Bit Two
Some points during dream I get areal views that transition me from specific to specific location(but I'm not flying). Outside the west end of town a long dirt road comes down a mountain side curving slowly and steep around through the sparse trees... I transition and wind up at a Large familiar river that is not near my hometown yet somehow resembles a ditch that is. (This mixture of ditch and river is pretty common but always takes a slightly different form.) Today the river was pretty full from a couple tributaries that added to it and was pouring down from a small water fall that I was looking over towards. Good feeling here today.

April 17, 2011
Lucid Dream 219: The Bears' BBQ
Series: Land of Dreams, Episode 11
DILD
around 9:00am



I am sitting in the living room and my dad is there with me. The power flickers on and off several times. It is night time and a thunderstorm is raging outside. I kept getting weird feelings like something was watching us. I walked into the kitchen to get a drink of water and I looked out into the nearby hallway. It was pretty dark and I couldn't notice anything at first. I suudenly saw the outline of what looked like a small person. I felt the fear jolt into my chest and I just reacted. I took off running after it. The silhouette of the munchkin took off running away from me and entered my room. I went in after it and saw it trying to hide behind several things in my room. I managed to grasp the munchkin, but I heard an evil laugh and it turn to smoke in my hand.

I was officially freaked out, so I returned to the living room. My cat walked in the room and under my feet. An identical cat walked in right after her. I thought, "I know I don't have two cats...what is going on here?" I looked and noticed the imposter cat right away. Here eyes were the same color unlike my actual cat. I heard a slam behind me and a dog had slammed into the sliding glass door. I walked up to the glass and the dogs head penetrated right through the glass like a ghost and was snapping at me and the cat. I was getting freaked out because I knew this was some sort of hardcore haunting. I thought, "Man this can't be real." I mindlessly raised my hand up and performed a nose pinch RC. I was, in fact, dreaming.

I thought, "Oh thank goodness!" I felt some massive relief and looked at my dad and said, "Don't worry, its just a dream." I ignored the random ghosts that had popped into the room and dove through the sliding glass door. I took flight. I flew over several mountains and was just looking for anything interesting. I flew over a small village and noticed that there was a trap door right in the middle of town. I landed to investigate.

The trap door was made into the earth right in the middle of town. I opened it up and there was another door. It slid open to reveal yet another door. After sliding open about 7 or 8 doors, a DC looked at me and said, "Pull it out of the ground this." I pulled up on the handle and a "flip-book" of doors came up out of the ground. I would have been opening doors forever if I wouldn't have pulled up. Underneath the book of doors, there was a dead body. I tried to move the body out of the way, but the hand of the body grabbed my wrist in dramatic fashion. I had actually thought that this would happen, so it didn't frighten me in the slightest. I pulled away from the body and the hand ripped clean off of its arm. I noticed there were maggots all around where the hand had ripped off. I shook off the hand and left the not so dead body alone.

My friend Cliff was now with me. i walked around a nearby wooden shed and saw a huge pull. I nodded toward Cliff and we both took off running. Cliff shouted, "Cow tipping!" as we ran toward the great beast. We slammed into the bull and plowed it. It fell over hard and skid several yards while letting out a surprised, "Moooooo." As the bull scrambled to its feet I jumped up and landed on top of the barn. I noticed a stream about 40 yards in front of us. On the other side of the stream I could see a lion walking around. I jumped down off the barn and looked back over toward the lion. I now noticed that about 30 grizzly bears had surrounded it. They were all standing up on two legs and were doing a weird dance in unison. They began to close in on the lion while performing a well choreographed dance. The lion let out a final roar when the bears all dove into a pile on the lion.

Dust soon covered up this oddity. I just watched as the dust cleared. The grizzly bears were all spread out wide and there was one in the center. The grizzly picked up the lion which was now tied up. It then slammed the lion down on a huge outdoor grill. The grizzly backed away. One of the other grizzlies tossed a small, round, ball to the grizzly in the center. This grizzly began dribbling the ball real fast and the ball suddenly burst into flames. The grizzly then shot a fade away and the fire ball fly high into the air. It landed on the grill and the lion caught fire. The grizzly slammed the grill shut and I could feel the dream fading. I decided to just go ahead and DEILD....

Series Details
In the dream series, "The Land of Dreams," I explore the depths of my subconscious. With no real goals in mind, I explore the creative lands and characters that come before me. Who will I meet? Where will I go? What will I do? These are the dreams that fit into no particular category. Stay tuned for more entries to the series!

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I dreamt that I was cycling behind someone of my class wo isn't Very handy. He wanted to move to the left to pass me by. Wen He went back to right, He fell into a stream. I said I couldn't help him because my clothes where new. The last thing I saw was that he was trappling under the bicycle and He couldn't get out of the stream.

I was in the living room watching the television, it was a show about fat people and ways to lose weight. I watched it a bit more and I realized it was a Dr. Phil show, he was talking about the importance of exercise in losing weight, I was feeling particularly fat right then, but I didn't want to exercise… Dr. Phil kept talking about the various things that could happen to overweight people, diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart attacks, strokes… endless amounts of problems that can come from being overweight. I was thinking I really should get out and exercise, so maybe I would take a walk, I certainly didn't have the patience to listen to Dr. Phil any longer.

I went outside and started walking, the weather wasn't as hot as I had expected it to be, so I thought this walk might actually end up being a decent length one. The main road near my house is under heavy construction, so I didn't think it would be very pleasant to walk there right now, so I decided to look in other directions. I headed down a path I had never noticed before and I soon found the landscape changing around me, I was slowly leaving the desert landscape and entering a forest of trees. That seemed really odd… odd enough for me to do a RC, which revealed I was dreaming!

So now that I realized I was dreaming, I stopped to think of my goals for the night… at first I couldn't think of any of them, but I finally thought of the one from Mortal Mist where the goal was to explore a forest and note all of the details of the season long with the animals, weather, and other details. That would be a nice relaxing dream to have right now, so I thought I would do that. I walked through the trees, looking at the place and making note of all of the details I could, the trees were beautiful, the leaves were blowing in a gentle breeze, all of them were changing color to various shades of red, orange, yellow, blue, purple, and teal… um… blue, purple, and teal? Well, that didn't matter, this was a dream forest after all… I wondered if there are places where the leaves really do turn to shades of blue and purple, then I thought of course there are! I'm in one!

I continued walking through the forest, making note of and enjoying every detail I could take in, the feel of the cool breeze on my skin, the smell of the trees… it smelled like it might rain soon… I listened to the birds singing in the trees, the crunch of the fallen leaves on the ground as I walked through them, I caught glimpses of small animals running around in the trees, several squirrels, a couple of bunnies. One of the squirrels was quite brave, it ran right up in front of me to grab a fallen nut and then ran back to the trees and disappeared into its branches, I figured the squirrel was storing food for the winter. I saw more movement in the trees, and this time a fox emerged, cute! The fox was definitely brave, the fox came trotting right over to me and looked at me as if he expected me to pet him. Wait a minute… that fox could be none other than Pablo!

I sat down in the fallen leaves and stroked Pablo, the dream had become so vivid as I focused on every detail, the fox's fur was so silky and soft as I pet him. Pablo was a red tailed fox with a white chest, red fur on most of his body, dark brown feet, a long fluffy tail, most of the tail was red like the rest of Pablo, but the tip of the tail was pure white. What I noticed most that I couldn't get over was how soft the fur was, as soft as petting a cat, it was too soft to resist putting my arms around him and giving him a hug, burying my face in that soft fur. I saw movement near a tree and I looked, there was an animal I didn't recognize digging a hole in the ground near the base of the tree, I figured that would be a den, I wondered if that might harm the tree to dig right there… Pablo changed from an adult red tail fox to a fox cub so I could scoop him into my arms and continue walking, such a cute fox cub… I carried Pablo farther down the trail until I found a stream flowing across the path, the sound of the stream was so clear, the water was also clear, I could see some small fish swimming around in it. There were rocks positioned perfectly for crossing the stream, things were so clear that I could clearly see the difference between the dry rock and the wet rock that was being splashed by the stream.

I had to do a RC again, because I thought I would soon forget I was dreaming if I didn't remind myself, so I re-confirmed that I was dreaming before crossing the stream… and then the fox disappeared from my arms! I was momentarily alarmed, then I realized Pablo had probably just woken up, so I got down on my knees by the stream and splashed some of the cool water on my face, and it felt wonderful. I sat there for a bit longer, letting myself take in the details of the blue sky which I could see between the trees on either side of the stream, and there were some fluffy white clouds drifting across the sky… nothing looked like rain, I wondered why it smelled like rain… I got up and headed back into the forest, watching the birds flying around as if they were in a hurry to get something important done. I was walking down the path, getting close to forgetting it was a dream, when a huge shadow fell over the forest, a huge dark shadow. I also heard a loud "THWUMP… THWUMP…" sound from overhead and felt a rush of strong wind blowing down from above. This wind felt a bit chilly, and many of the colorful leaves that had been hanging on to the trees now fell off and blew around in the hurricane type winds. I looked up just in time to see a huge winged creature fly overhead, creating the wind as it flapped its massive wings.

The animal had flown farther along the path, so I followed the path faster, I really wanted to see what that thing had been. I knew it was a dream, so I had no fear that I would be in danger from it. I finally exited the thick part of the forest into a large clearing, a meadow, and I spotted several deer running past me and disappearing into the shelter of the forest. Whatever that thing was, the animals were scared of it, and maybe with good reason. I looked up and I could hardly believe my eyes… it was a dragon! A huge dragon, it flew over the meadow, swooped around in a large arc, and then returned to the meadow. It flapped its massive wings to slow down and land, the force of the wind almost knocked me over, and finally it landed and roared a deafening sound. Wow! The dream was so vivid and now I was meeting a dragon! Awesome! I had barely found a bit of voice to my awe, "Wow… you are absolutely AWESOME!" I said to the dragon, "Absolutely AMAZING!" I stood there taking in the details of the dragon, his size… he was huge… his scales, they were of various colors of greens and browns, but all of them glistened in the sunlight like gems… he had claws like spears on each of his limbs, teeth, huge white teeth, and his wings! He really could make a hurricane with those wings! I was sure of it!

So now I was facing this huge dragon, I had no idea what its intentions might be, but I felt like I was losing the dream, like I was going to wake up. No way! There was no way I was going to let myself wake up now that I was face to face with this amazing creature! Refusing to lose the dream, I focused on Allura's method of time dilation, and by doing this I managed to stabilize the dream, which I will continue in the next post.

To be continued…