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#247 - DEILD Chain - 3:28 AM

I am in bed cuddling and talking with my ex-wife. I am very aware of the feel of her next to me and notice she isnt wearing much. I begin to want sex and make out. She moving on top of my and I try to feel her breasts under her night gown. She grabs my hands and pushes them away. She tells me that doesn't want to with her parents home. I look at her face more closely and she is beautiful and much younger. I think this must just be a memory: a time before we started fighting. I remember that we divorced and I feel bad that things went so badly between us. I want to ask her if she regrets it all but I am afraid to mention it. I remember my new wife and the love I have for her. I think how wrong this is and that thought partially wakes me up.

I DEILD and vibrations start. There is a short and deep electronic growling sound and the vibes become faint then are gone. For a second I worry that I woke up but realize I that just phased really fast. I have a knowing that I am in my old bedroom in TX but I feel my wife next to me. I don't realize until later that she is on the wrong side of me. I quickly get out of bed, but something has my right hand. I can't see very well and the thing feels like cloth tied to my wrist. I struggle for a second but then chose to ignore it. My hand some free but there is a slight feeling of something on my wrist still. As I turn to the bedroom door I see 3 ghosts in sheets looming ominously before me blocking my exit. Like usual, I begin to verbally rebuke them with a good tongue lashing, but this time the words catch in my throat and I can only gasp. I am afraid and start to panic but quickly calm myself. I remember that I am the master of my domain. I assume an authoritative stance and point at them. The three entities immediately turn back into mere sheets and drop to the floor. I step over them and make my way through a very dark house. I mostly navigate from memory of the place and make my to the front door. As I reach for the doorknob, I sense a presence behind me. I turn to see if it is the ghosts and sure enough one of the sheets is following me. This time without fear I reach a hand toward it. The sheet collapses and comes to into grasp. I tuck the sheet into my "inventory" and say out loud, "We can use you to scare someone later." Smiling, I turn to the door but wake up.

I Deild and have more vibes. I focus and relax. I begin to feel myself sinking into the mattress. I have a couple of episode where I try to open my eyes but feel like my physical eyes open. I confuses me and causes me to start over. I am annoyed and just begin some walking motions. I am back in the hallway totally blind. I begin crawling feeling the title on the floor. Soon, I run into the front door. I have difficulty trying to open so I phase. I get partially into it and wake.

Again, I relax into a DEILD. Vibes. More sinking. This time I try floating but can only manage a few feet. Now I spend a lot of time playing with feeling stuck in transition. I begin to get bored and even more annoyed. I go back to crawling but this time I Imagine crawling outside. I feel grass in my hand and focus on it. I hear something like a truck with no muffler pass close by. I wonder if that's really happening, but quickly dismiss it. I remember that I could hear the boxfan a lot a few minutes ago and decide it's probably a sound distortion.

Now, I focus on seeing through my eyelids and my hands appear in front of me. I continue crawling in the grass begin to get short glimpses of a several patches of flowers. Some red and some are yellow. I note the feel of them. Then, I stop feeling pissed off that I just can't get deep in the dream enough. I begin to feel like Gollum from LOTR the way I am crawling around. I make reflexivly a "gollum" sound deep in my throat as I attempt looking around. I ingore that little outburst as I try to visualize a scene. To my dismay, nothing happens. I roll over on my back and look up. I get a brief view of night sky with a moon behind some clouds then go blind again. I decide to give up and relax. I focus on the two sense I do have. I listen and begin to hear the sounds of a deep forest at night. I hear crickets, frogs and even something like whip-poor-will. I focus on that and begin feeling peaceful and totally relaxed. I begin floating up and down several times as I listen soothing sounds of nature. I wake again.

I DEILD. Again, I imagine myself walking. I am back in my old bedroom. I can see a little better now but not nearly good enough so I decide to just play around until the dream gets just a little more stable. I am feeling a little tired from so much focus and start to lose my train of thought. There is a vision of a ninja woman. I say something taunting her. I summon a blade but It's just a little knife. I have some internal dialogue and try again. This time, a dagger. Better but not enough. I regain my focus and I realize I have been reaching with my right hand from the left side of my waist. Maybe if I reach over my shoulder like I am caring on it my back, it will be a ninja sword. I reach and pull out a huge,shiny Daikatana. I am alone in my room but I begin yelling some random Japanese phrases. I have no idea what I am saying but can't control myself. The words sound legit like I know what I am doing. I see a black bookcase and slash at it. The sword seems to have become invisible but the bookcase smashes apart. I plant my feet and do a spinning slash at another object. I feel like my movements are fluid and precise like I have had some training. I still don't see well as my vision is very dim. I turn and see daylight through red curtains on my window. I slash at intending to cut only the fabric. I hear and feel it but the curtain seem to be undamaged. I am shocked and I stare at them a moment wondering what went wrong. I shrug this off and turn 90 degrees to my right. There is an entertainment center with an old TV. I do an huge over handed downward slash but there is no damage. I can feel the hilt in my hands but as I look there is no sword. I think, "What a total rip-off. Suddenly, I feel my wife roll over in bed and this breaks my concentration. I wake up totally..


I was pleased with this dream but also disappointed it didn't go the way I wanted. I got really bad insomnia after this and instead of riding it out I decide it was prime time to play some AC4!

I was in a supermarket, and the terminatrix from T3: Rise of the Machines was on my case. There was an exchange of gunfire (did I have allies/friends?) as I ran away through the aisles. Much to my surprise, on the other side of the supermarket, people were still shopping, despite the very obvious sound of gunfire in the store. I urged them to flee, as I did the same.

I was driving around Manhattan island, following a judge (wearing that funny wig some US judges have to wear). Just for fun. I think I had a fake gun (toy), or a taser. Not sure anymore. He drove around the block, and I realized this is a common trick people use to see if they're being tailed. Anyway, at one point, I figured he'd spotted me. He started driving fast and erratically (running a red light, even). I gave chase, until he pulled into a parking lot (possibly a police station). I realized the joke had to end there, or he might jump me and shoot me in self-defense, or have me arrested.

12.08.13

Last night bed 11:50 - 8:15

DR upon awakening

I'm walking someplace outdoors. A field of grass, near some small, overgrown pond. I'm with my brother. At the edge of the water we find a large piece of plastic. About 7 feet wide, more angular than round. It has low sides, lower than 1 inch. It gently slopes to the middle. There are a few tiny opening on the sides and the middle. It's off-white. It is full of small baby ducklings and baby chicken. I realize the plastic tray is there to trap them. Once they step into it, the slope doesn't allow them to get out, because it's slipery.

We start looking around for an owner of the ducklings. We check one farmhouse that's nearby. Then we see someone working in the huge yard at the other farmhouse. We walk inside and talk to the guy, then to the lady. They think we are there for a job. In fact, we are looking for a job for a friend of ours. We walk around the house for a while. Guy is putting on shoes and he thinks I'm there to get a car repair job, or some woodworking thing.

Suddenly my brother tells me to leave. I ask him why and he tells me, that he has a funny feeling about the people there. He says, that the woman gave him a 100 year stare. And he showed me, how was she staring at him, not blinking. So we left.

This may be the first lucid dream I've ever had. I just found out about lucid dreaming a couple days ago. I thought it was interesting so I delved further in and found this website that night I had this dream (I kept it exactly how I wrote it on my iPod when I woke up so it is not exactly a literary masterpiece, but I didn't want to mar it by fixing anything. I know it's a little annoying to read but I really feel like I should leave it alone.):

thought this would be scary but it wasn't. This was partly similar to watching a movie at a couple parts (especially beginning, end and when the girl came in) but in all much more realistic and involved than other dreams
I ran around the house, and decided to do a couple of real ity checks , because I was trying to get in the habit. I stopped in the kitchen and remember passing the wooded wall on my right , the other walls were purple, and looked vaguely up at the clock as I poked my hand. But my finger went right through it! I looked down for a brief second when I realized what happened, and was like "no way" in my mind. I thought, "wait a second, am I DREAMING?" Then I pinched my nose and tried to blow through it (another reality check) and it failed. I think this is really when I snapped into lucidity. I thought, " wait a second, that really didn't work." I tried again and it failed. And then I REALLY realized I was dreaming. I started to get excited but managed to calm myself down as I didn't Want to lose the dream. I sprinted over to the dining room table, where mom was sitting at the head of the table and dad was sitting next to her (not sure if at head or scooted to left in moms place). I said excitedly, "guys, I'm lucid dreaming right now!" I remember thinking that this was a good check on the videos I had seen to test my level of lucidity. My dad commented on this with something I don't remember and then mom chuckled and said something akin to "that's nice" so she didn't seem to believe me. She was trying to humor me though; either that or she wanted to convince me that I was wrong (in that scientific way she does). I said, "no, seriously! I can even make Harry Potter appear right" I gestured widely with both hands, arms partially bended, at the corner of wall which was yellow where the hall came out, "THERE." and Harry potter indeed stepped around the corner. He was wearing black and yellow and red plain hogwarts robes I think and he looked To be the ten or eleven year old version. He was holding up a wand. Mom didn't seem surprised as much as mildly amused. She said something like "oh, Harry potter!" Dad seemed very quiet during all of this. I thought about flying and how people said it was awesome in dreams. So I got up walked to the door and said to my mom, "I'm going to go outside now." And she followed me kinda confused and hurriedly and said, " wait a second, you can't go outside! It's the middle of the night and cold!" Something was happening in the living room at this point with my brother Noah and something else ( a real sky landers?). This was surprisingly in character for a dream, and I was surprised. then I threatened mom, " if you don let me out ill sic Harry potter on you!" I gestured lightly to him and said, "do expelliarmus, Harry!" That was some amazing continuity considering my normal dreams. I realized that wouldn't be too helpful as mom wasn't in possession of a wand but Harry flicked his wand and said expelliarmus and my mom looked confused and amused and said slowly, "does that mean I'm supposed to go away" and I lied just as slowly, "ah, yes....?" So she walked away still kinda confused. Why did she go away at my command?" Then I opened the door and I remember feeling or seeing the bright shine of the porch light out of the corner of my eye. A cool breeze reached my face, and I stepped to the edge of the stairs. Confident this was a dream now, I jumped off and flapped my arms as if I was swimming through the air, as I vaguely remember doing in other dreams. It worked for a second, but then I bobbed back down like I was in water but the gravity worked upside down, instead of being pulled towards the top I was strongly pulled towards the bottom, the earth. I managed to make it to the bottom of the stairwell though and land softly on line needles. It was late at night, and color seemed to be drained from everything in favor of black and gray. I gave it a running start this time and landed again on the grass, a bit less successful. I remember the dogwood treed looked like thy had lone ferns or something hanging down from them (possibly from that video with the Japanese American girl?). I tried to fly superman style then, since the other wasn't working but I just barely floated before falling to the ground, and I felt the dirt on y face. decided to try it on the road then, so I ran down to the road, which looked a lot smoother than the one in our neighborhood now that I think back on it and had long yellow stripes like on highways. I was about to do superman but then worried about the safety of doing that on pavement. Then Emily, a girl from my school, came up to me from the direction of the road where the hill was. I so show knew she was dreaming too, and said "you're a lucid dreamer too?" And she replied, "yeah! It's cool to meet you here. Are you trying to fly?" I said, "yeah but it's reAlly hard." She said " oh I've never been able to get that flying stuff down, I've tried." Then she said, " come on, I'll show you to my house!" This is when the dream started to get a lot more hazy. I didn't really have the harsh realization anymore that I was in a dream. We ran over to her house which wasn't really there or in our neighborhood but of course I didn't question or think about that because I wasn't too lucid. We talked outside a low window of the wooden, triangularly roofed house, and the room inside the window had a really old box tv and looked extremely cluttered. It was really small too. Apparently this was hers or her sisters room. This was when I completely lost lucidity and, seconds later, woke up.

Side-note Lucid

Talking about lucid dreams
I'm standing on my driveway talking with my pastor and MB. The kids are sitting in camping chairs on my side of the garage; my car is nowhere to be seen. All of us are talking about lucid dreaming. I say something about WILDing and I'm surprised when my pastor knows what it is, saying that he'd once done it himself many years ago. I mention that one of my long-term goals is to learn to have WILDs quickly, on demand. My pastor asks how long it usually takes to get into a WILD. I explain that a skilled WILDer can do it in under twenty minutes, but that newbies can often take more than an hour. I confess that I haven't managed it at all, yet, but that I'm determined to succeed. The conversation continues for a little while longer.

Now I'm in one of the kids' bedrooms doing something. Now I'm downstairs. Bethany is unhappy with the kids - she'd told them they could be outside barefooted or in shoes but not just in socks, since the socks would get dirty. All of the kids wore just socks while outside, so now they're covered in leaves (from the driveway) and oil (from the garage floor). Even though I was wearing both socks and shoes, I check my socks anyway. They're damp from being sweaty but are otherwise fine. I take my socks off and put them in a nearby cabinet which seems to be a make-shift clothes hamper, as it has a small (but growing) pile of colored laundry. My wife tells me that if my socks are dirty like the kids are then I need to put them in the separate "dirty sock pile," but I tell her they're just sweaty.


Gift of a hymnal
After a failed WILD, I'm trying to sleep. I'm laying in bed and remember that I just had a conversation with friends (JB and BJ) in my kitchen. I realize that that can't have happened, that I must have dreamed it. Something feels off, and I do a nose pinch RC. I can easily breath through my pinched nose, so I know I'm dreaming, experiencing a false awakening (my first!). It's pitch black. I decide to try voice commands and try to command LIGHT, but my voice is hoarse and I can barely hear myself. I try again with STABILITY, but again, it barely comes out. I realize that, even though I'm convinced this is a dream, I'm still hesitant to shout in case I'm wrong and I woke up my wife. I decide that this really is a dream, so it doesn't matter, and even if it's not a dream we'll just laugh about it and go back to sleep. I really don't want to lose the dream, so I keep my nose pinched and keep focused on the strange feeling of breathing through it. I keep trying my voice commands, and eventually the light in the room (especially near the door) "dims" up. It's dim, but it's enough to see by. I shout STABILITY and LIGHTS again for good measure, and I find that I can actually shout now.

I'd just been listening to the podcast where they were talking about extending the dream, and CanisLucidus talked about just looking at all the detail the mind comes up with. I look around my bedroom, trying to take it all in. I notice that it's larger than life, but it's decorated pretty much how my real room is. The doors, windows, bed, and dresser are all in the right place, and I think the walls and floor looked right, though I'm not positive. I notice a small shelf on one wall that's not there IWL, with some very small framed pictures of people. I walk over, pick one up, and look at it. It shows couple of people, including a woman in a purple dress. I don't recognize them, and I realize the danger of putting too much attention into the picture, so I put it down. For some reason, it ends up on face down on the shelf. I kneel down and run my hands through the carpet - it looks and feels exactly like my real carpet. I think about what to do and realize that one of my simple goals was to try the "internal nose pinch" and see if it was reliable. I tried it, and alas, I couldn't breathe while doing it. So much for that RC. I consider phasing through the wall and flying off, but I decide that that's a little too advanced for right now: I want something I know I can accomplish so that I can boost my confidence.

I remember I want to do the basic TOTM be given a gift by a DC, so I walk towards the hallway. The stairs are in the right place, though the hallway layout is odd. I remember that, to get something to appear, I need to not just casually think "It'll be there" but to really strongly picture it, almost as if I can already see it. I start trying to imagine in detail that my wife is around the corner in the hallway; but as I'm doing it, she comes up the stairs. She says something and goes back down; I follow her.

Now I'm near the bottom of the stairs. I feel like I'm in a mansion. Downstairs is a huge area, well furnished, with a very high ceiling. I'm on a grand staircase, at least 10 feet wide, flaring at the bottom, going straight up behind me to the second story. My wife is a couple of steps below me. I ask my wife if she has anything for me. She says she does, but she wants a quick kiss first. I kiss her, and she walks off towards the kitchen to get whatever it is. I realize that I shouldn't let her out of my sight, since she might disappear if I do. I go after her, following her into the kitchen (which is outfitted with lots of shiny black appliances). I don't see her in the kitchen, and I get worried. I shout a dream command WIFE, but nothing happens. I walk through the kitchen, though the dining room, and back into the living area. I pass an older, well-dressed man carrying a Psalter; I completely ignored him, but I think he was the butler. As I'm walking into the living area, my wife comes out of the kitchen carrying one of our old hymnals. She gives it to me, saying it'll go well with the hamburger.

Often, when I wake out of a dream, I'm aware of it fading first. Not this time. Poof I was awake. I tried to DEILD, but nothing happened; I was probably hampered by a strong desire not to lose the dream memory.


Fragments
I'm looking at pictures of different people. I have a program(?) that lets me alter reality by altering pictures of the reality. I'm trying to copy an aspect of a person from one picture and paste it onto a different person in a different picture, but it's not going well. The perspectives of the pictures are different, and the pasted image isn't lining up right.

I'm outside, in a park-like setting, watching people. There are nine people who have successfully done ... something ... but they need ten to fully win. They're pleased at having come in first again, yet disappointed that, once again, they failed to get the full ten.

I'm looking at Gunnerkrigg Court. Annie is watching two forest dwellers talking to / examining a boy from the Court. He's strong and somewhat puffed up, and the forest dwellers (a youth and an old man) are pondering over him. His muscles should only be about half the size they are, and they want to know how he made himself strong, if he used some kind of magic or trickery or what. The old man especially is throwing out more and more strange theories about the boy's strength. I (or Annie?) starts to wonder if there's something to it, and if this is how Eglamore gets some of his abilities.

I'm driving on a 4 lane road in the right lane. A tan van is to my left and starts to come into my lane. I stand my ground, but she keeps coming, eventually scraping against me. Now I'm in the left lane and she's in the right, ahead of me. I can see a silver line running along her driver's side where she scraped me. Somehow I see the driver's side of my car, and I see a long scuff mark but no scraped paint. I'd been trying to decide if I should chase her down and get her insurance information, but since my car isn't actually damaged I decide just to let her go.

Morning of December 8, 2013. Sunday.



I had intricate weird dreams today. I expected as much due to the fact we have a new type of air conditioner to help us sleep much better, as the warmer climate has finally gotten to be too much to deal with. I never understood how people could enjoy overly warm weather; as even with larger floor fans it is sometimes too hard to either focus or sleep. (Personally, I do not mind the colder regions, but that is not feasible - and even so my mouth had a tendency to stick to cans of soda when walking, which made consumption of a beverage a bit problematic. Napping in a bathtub full of ice cubes every other hour is not really productive either.)

In one dream, I seem to be in some sort of large, posh public theater with a very high ceiling. I am not quite sure what the performance or movie is on the stage - which seems to be at about forty-five degrees to my left. Apparently, then, the seats are not directly facing the implied stage or screen for whatever reason in architectural design (recurring). To my right is some sort of highly annoying and unwashed hippie character (almost Charles-Manson-like) making rude comments about everything and anything in the area, the performance/movie (or whatever is being shown), my clothes, his clothes, the seats, where the door is (which is fairly close and to my right - the hippie is the last character in the row to my right), how my “race” (my heritage is mixed anyway) has been treated by the dominant culture, and so on. Perhaps he is some sort of famous (or infamous) “architectural activist”(?)

To my left, there is another male, and the next person over to my left from there, his (unknown) female companion. He makes a remark (in a sort of friendly but albeit patronizing way) about me having crumbs in my hair (apparently near my left ear), which is somewhat annoying, as there does not seem to be any there when I check - or perhaps he has brushed them off. It turns out to be David Bowie - but at a fairly young age (around thirty or so). Interesting, as I have not listened to his music in a long time (and am not really a big fan - but I do like some of his songs). He is shouting out now and then, slightly lifting up in his seat (but not standing) about the performance (in a positive sense) and also perhaps to someone he knows in rows closer to the stage or screen. His shout-outs seem a little like the vocal essence of Iggy Pop. I am amazed at how vivid this part is, as I can feel the warmth from his body, the energy of his movements and the clarity and unusual “shaky” rhythm of his vocalizations. I am intrigued. He actually seems to like me, but his female companion does not and makes rude remarks about my hair and acts like she would rather be anywhere than in the theater.

After time passes, a very large red trident, glowing with a bright flame-like but internal lighting, appears directly in front of the spectators (perhaps on an otherwise unseen additional main stage that is oriented more logically than the forty-five degree one) and the round recessed ceiling lights are then much dimmer. The oversized trident (being at least ten feet high) has a bit of smaller external sparks and flames then seems to be somewhat more like a Hanukkah menorah (nine-branched candelabrum), but then made up of three tridents chained together, the outer two crossed over each other. It then seems more like some sort of construct that opens through the middle like a gate of some kind, for a live dancing performance (of the old-style kaleidoscopic-when-viewed-from above type) with red rays making “x” shapes. It gets darker and darker, and I feel movement (as if the seat is on a railroad-track-like structure) - and it seems I am instigating a lucid dream state from there. (In real life, we do have a large toy red trident, which stands upright in the living room presently - I guess a throwback to my early Harvey “Hot Stuff” days as a boy.)

I end up, oddly enough, in an ancient-looking stone-walled halls environment, somewhat maze-like, which reminds me of an enhanced and far more texturally realistic map of the original DOS “Doom” game, one of the only computer games I have ever played much, from years ago (and by which I designed a full “world” of very complex structure for its time and hopefully still have a copy of somewhere). I find the atmosphere and vividness (and growing lucidity) very pleasing. I walk around for awhile. A German Shepherd dog, with the black fur a bit more dominant mostly around the head and shoulders, appears from out of an alcove to my right (only out to his middle section from my perspective) without incident. He seems very passive and potentially friendly, but I walk on past the area. Finally, it starts to dawn on me, after walking around for a fair amount of time admiring the various types of stone textures, hanging overgrown vines sticking out from some sections, and so on, that if I am in the “game of Doom” that there should be monsters, demons, whatever around. I try to focus and let myself “enter” the concept. No good. Most “monsters” and “aliens” were banished from my dreams years ago. I try to lucidly manifest a zombie, ogre, minotaur, giant spongy eyeball, whatever. Nothing. I do a jig and wave my fists around doing a silly song something like “C'mon monsters, come and get me, come on zombies, ogres, demons, aliens come and get me!” Nothing. I guess because of twenty years of non-practice of such juvenile concepts and more viable tulpas I do not have that ability - which is no great loss, really - I just wanted to see what it was like to be “inside” a computer game to its fullest extent. After a time, I actually use the pulsing method within my dream (which is technically not wholly feasible in the dream state as you then have to use your assumed dream-body neck muscles and such and diaphragm muscles). I feel a strong almost electrical energy and subtle vibration, almost like a cross between “buck fever” and a winter chill. What is missing, however, is the quivering above the navel representing enforced will (manifestation/expectation together as one).

Finally, I see something in the T-section of the hallway ahead of me, on the right side of the adjoining hallway, some sort of movement. It appears to be a minotaur, but I am only aware of parts of the arm and legs at times. I force, as consciously and lucidly as I can within this point of my dream, an inverted pulsing much like sleep paralysis when in a semi-awake state. I say patiently…“Aliens, zombies, monsters, come and start the game…” Nothing. Perhaps there is some sort of button somewhere that begins the game but I do not see any.

Finally, my patience runs out. I decide that if I run, perhaps I will then be chased by the “Doom brigade”. It seems logical enough. I remember instigating countless chases when younger. I turn and run down the hallway at a fair speed. However, as I run, I get a different idea. I decide to see what will happen if I run straight into the solid stone wall at the end of the opposite T-section. I “smash” right into the stone wall and wake up, my body moving slightly to the side as I wake. Oh well.

Another dream involves watching strange scorpion-like arachnids on the ground in an area with no grass in our backyard. There are also crustacean-like crab creatures (which are also a bit spider-like) that seem connected to other odd variations. Over time, I notice a few scorpions that have two horn-like protrusions in the back, much like an earwig rather than scorpion-like at the “tail”. All in all, most of the creatures seem to be a scorpion in front and an earwig in back (even though arachnids and insects are not compatible at all - which I seem vaguely aware of). Later, however, my wife and children are in the backyard and the creatures seem a bit less threatening (only by assumed association - I am not concerned about them at all regarding my own safety). Now, they are actually “earwig-cane-toads”. Small cane toads for the most part, with earwig features. What next? Still, they may be a pest, but my dream is mostly uneventful.

In another dream, I am with my sister Marilyn but in my Cubitis home, which appears correct rather than as a facet of a composite as is often the case. She is only about thirty at the most (but much older than me in real life) and is sitting at the living room table to the west of the room. A daughter of Evelyn W (Evelyn W being a relative and more of a friend to my mother - and where I got the “Little Red Feather” figure from as a young child) - NW, also only about thirty, is on the south end of the same table. From there, nothing makes much sense. Supposedly, she has “driven from Chicago (Illinois)” or from (Dearborn) Michigan(?) - this seems like part of some sort of practiced self-correction (which my dreams sometimes seem to do, as if they are “building and rebuilding themselves” before becoming more coherent at a later stage) - when in real life she lived in Wisconsin for the most part. At the same time, I am aware that this, my “Florida home” is somehow presently in Australia and it seems unusual that she has “driven here” as how could anyone drive from America to Australia? Over time, she seems rather obnoxious (I heard only recently that she was disowned by family when she was alive because of taking her mother’s house and not letting anyone else have or see anything in it anymore). She has a daughter about two years of age in my dream who is sitting on the floor, and the only other character in my dream at this point is my youngest son. Nothing really adds up here. It seems like some sort of very sparse composite from a “higher dimension” with mismatched connections and self-correction at the “lower” levels.

UPDATE: I have changed this entry’s status to precognitive (though it is more correctly described as dream journal synchronicity mostly) due to the fact that a post right after mine ironically had a main aspect I did not directly mention here, that is, “red lasers” and the idea of a show: http://www.dreamjournal.net/journal/...ream_id=189818

these dreams started when i was 13, i don't know how or why but they feel familiar. they don't feel like dreams, they feel like memories. and for some reason they scare me. its like a story in my head that i cant get out. but for some reason i fell in love with these dreams and I'm writing them down so other will know.

my dreams starts by a blinding white light, so bright i put my hand to shield my face. then all of the sudden its gone and replaced by a warm yellow glow. it makes me feel safe, it feels like home. I'm dressed in a long dark blue dress that has long flowy sleeves and a sliver belt with a beautiful design on it, my hair which is a dark brown, so dark it looks like black is beautifully curly and flowing down my back. i am a young girl, maybe 4 or 5. i don't know, but i know I'm very young compared to all the people that surround me. they're all tall, beautiful, graceful, charming, intelligent and most of all they are the most kind hearted beings in the universe. they are not all humans, there were other beings some with different colour skin, some with really different body shape, some i cannot even try to describe. it doesn't matter who they are, but i know all of them and all of them know me. they smile down at me and twirl me on my toes. i love it, i feel bliss, i feel joy, i feel like nothing can ever come between me and this happiness. i absolutely love this place, it was home i knew it.
looking around i saw golden pillars that twisted like vines and looked like a tree bark, they were tall and the branches intersected with the other trees they made a huge circle that surrounded the entire hall. it was a big hall, with the golden twisted pillars all around me and a huge glass dome above. through the glass dome, it was not stars that shined down upon us. it was the universe ! so splendid and vast. with all its colour shining down on us, it felt like a fairytale. i cannot even to begin to describe it to you. words cannot explain its beauty.
"hello princess" i turned around and looked up. and beautiful man stood before me. he was tall (obviously ! i was a child) with dark golden hair like a setting sun, eyes so intensely blue and shined like to universe (to me) a chiseled jaw and a very sculpted body. he was beautiful. he knelt down before me and asked me to dance. i liked him so i said yes. he stood up and took my small hands and twirled me around the dance floor, there was a lot of music in the air, and i do mean the air. sounds of flutes, harps, violins, cellos and pianos. they blended beautifully together.
then it stops, not abruptly but i feel like i need to go to someone. the man smiles down at me and bows. i smile and turn, running into the arms of a women. she is my mother i can feel it. she is beautiful. long hair thats like sunshine running down her back, she's not thin but a real women figure, one that is pleasing. a fine fair face that has two blue eyes. not as blue or intense as the mans but still beautiful that hold a motherly love for me and all things. she whispers something to me but i cannot remember what it is. then a man is standing next to her, and i know he's my father. his hair reached just a bit after his shoulders, its a chocolate brown. he has green eyes which are intense and loving yet at the same time fierce and strong. he has a strong build and is a soul match for my mother. they are the definition of a man and women. to me and everyone else with us.
my father then says something i don't remember but then he says "give this star to our beloved daughter, our lovely luanna" he then opens his hand to revel a beautiful light small and beaming. I'm still in mothers arms, she is sitting on the floor with her arms around me. she gets up and nudges me towards my father. he bends down and holds the star in his hand. hesitatingly i put my hands together and wait for my father to put it in my hands. he kneels down and gently passes it to me.
it was warm and soft. i didn't know stars felt like that. it had a beating pulse like it was alive. it enchanted me. my mother then knelt down beside me. i asked her "what should i do with it ?" she smiled a soft humorous smile and told me "you can do anything you want with it, you can put it up with the universe to bring new life. you can put it in your room to have a light or you can keep it safe with you or someone else" i looked at the star wondering what should i do, everyone was looking at me, all smiling at me. there were not more than 300 of us, i looked around the room till i saw the face i was looking for. he was standing near the back, with a crowd of people surrounding him. i walked towards him as fast as my small legs could carry me, they parted to make room for me. when i reached him, he was surprised as to why i came to him. he knelt down and i smiled at him. i said "will you keep my light safe for me?" he looked shocked as i think everyone else was, but then he smiled a small sweet smile and said "Id be honoured,...princess". he held his hands out like i did "carful its warm" i said as i slid the star into his hands. he then stood up, bowed and walked away while i was running back into my mothers arms. i thought though i saw my fathers face slightly frown as i was running back, but i didn't really mind it.
and hugging my mom is when i wake up. it tormented me for weeks after i had this dream. it felt so real, so distant, like i wasn't home. and i knew this wasn't going to be the first.

Again a DILD - this time without any prep at all - went to bed when the morning wasn´t even early any more again.
And this time - the realization came from one of my most persistent dream-signs: the house, I grew up in, and which is not standing anymore.
This time, I realized this, when I was there once more - but again - without WBTB and earnest WILD activities - it was low lucidity and only a short episode - ending not in waking up, but dreaming on non-lucidly.

So - definitively I will go for the extensive preparations next couple of nights - wondering, if I might not go into upper league of the competition after all.
If I get somewhere control-wise and have a longer LD then - I will.
Well - at least, if I get a TOTM done, I will.

This short LD had me almost without day-time-memory again - so I went exploring the surroundings a bit by flying about - and that was it.


The following dream is in my memory to a greater extent, than I will write it out here - since there were some weird censoring worthy things going on as well.

Too lazy now to put it all down - just the memorable bit for now:

I sat at a table - it was supposedly Christmas eve - but I was there with a friend of mine - having a festive dinner.

There was a bit of back and forth with what to wear - and since it was summer at the same time as x-mas - I had opted for a neon-yellow bathing-suit as my top under some blazer - to later go swimming in the lake.

Then along came a guy, I know from school with a friend - and started out making fun of that - how that would be totally out of fashion, neon-yellow, and how otherwise he would have maybe found me attractive..

I felt totally un-embarrassed - rather a bit superior to his fixation on such an unimportant detail - and started teasing him.
Drew him in more and more and sort of hypnotized him with doing some this and that.
He started singing - and me back - like a cheesy musical - but then - it came:

We switched perspective - I saw myself in that outfit singing at newly male me - and once I sang back - him/me had suddenly a full force opera-tenor voice.
He had only sung normally before.

So I blasted the place with this amazing voice of mine - but after the duet - or within it - I changed back into myself.
Oh yeah - and I wasn´t interested in the guy any more then, but had an interesting conversation with my friend at that table.

With all the bad to non-existent dream-recall over the last years - maybe I often was male - but not to my knowledge - this was a first for me as far as I am aware of it.
Not being lucid - of course I didn´t explore the new possibilities for making the dream even more censor-worthy - shame that..

There isn't a lot from the non-lucid parts of my dream that I can recall. I do recall that there were many dreams in between sleep and waking up last night. The earliest I can recall is going to my weekly Saturday Bible study. Afterwords I could not find a ride home, because everyone had left me there before I could ask. I then believe I began looking for my Dad's tan Buick Century, after discovering the keys were in my pocket the whole time. I check the front and back lots of the hall desperately but can't seem to find the car. It is too dark to see, so I check again, taking a friend along with me this time. We still cannot find the car, so I can only assume that it was stolen. I don't recall how the next part happens, but I end up flying an AH-6J Little Bird helicopter and firing the mini guns. The next fragment I can recall is being outside of a building in a nice looking field. My Dad and his girlfriend are there, and his GF excitedly tells me about how Ohio State won their game against Michigan State(which is funny, because when I woke up I found out they actually lost). I am slightly disappointed about this, but continue on. I then recall my friends and I have gathered together and assembled a team. We have swords and armor ready as we prepare to fight a large monster. This is out back of the building I was at in the previous fragment. We stir the ground to awaken the monster, which is a massive cartoon blob who is all white with massive spiked teeth and red eyes. It was a lot more horrifying when I was actually in the dream. Especially because he begin trying to jump on us and kill us the whole time. I then recall being underground fighting him in a human state. Only we are all throwing arrows at him. No no, don't use the swords, don't use bows either, let's throw arrows at him. He seems unharmed, even though he has about twenty arrows in him now. If I recall correctly, he then tries befriending us, and shows me his candy collection(LOL). I tell him I favor the sour gummy worms he has, and I ask him to deliver some to me. The dream then goes inside the building I was outside of for so long. It's a pretty nice looking place too. Mostly white walls in the inside. My family is all there, most notably my little brother who I talk to for a moment, but I don't recall out conversation. I then go into the kitchen and check our cupboard, where I notice there are sour gummy worms. This pleases me, knowing the friendly monster has provided this for me. I go outside now, where my friend is waiting. She is wearing badass medieval armor and I think someone is following behind her talking to her. She has a medieval clown mask on his shoulder, which is talking to her as well. The mask now falls off and slides down the snowy hillside. I run to see where it went, and the three of us look over the drop for it. I decide to now slide down the hillside, which is extremely steep. I have an actual nervous feeling as I go down, but I do make the drop with no harm done. My friends follow behind me and we search for the mask. We finally find the mask, who has moved itself up against a large tree, kind of like the one from Harry Potter. The mask now possess the tree and begins moving it around like the tree from Harry Potter. This greatly intrigues me.

The next part to this is a completely different dream I believe. I am over at a friend's but I'm leaving now. I'm not sure who it was exactly, but I offer to take home several friends who were also there. My friend Matt sits shotgun, and the only other friend I recall being in the car is my friend Hannah, but I'm positive the others were also real life friends. For some reason the driver's seat is on the right side of the car(I live in America, where it is on the left). I now start the car and back out, I try turning and driving but the car goes into the neighbors yard. The steering whelk wouldn't turn for some reason. My friend Matt tries taking over but I tell him I can handle it. I now turn up the sensitivity of the steering wheel because it was too low(what...?). After I've done this I begin to drive again. I stop at the end of the street and turn the corner. I realize something and pull over. I now out my seatbelt on and continue to drive. After awhile we make our way into another neighborhood, and the speed limit suddenly jumps from 35 to 55. I accelerate to the speed limit nervously(I don't like driving fast, I know I'm weird). We continue down the road until I see something. A three year old baby boy is playing in the middle of the road! I now slam on the brakes and swerve around the baby, missing it by inches. Who in their right mind let their fucking baby play in the middle of the fucking road unattended? Especially on a fucking 55mph road! With my nerves cracking we continue down the road. We now see several people dancing to their radio in the middle of the road. Seriously?! I now swerve out of the way of the people and knock out a Speed Limit 55 sign in the process. We now continue down the road as I'm about to have a heart attack from all of this bullshit. We then spot a truck which is stopped in the middle of the road. I panic and swerve out of the way again. This time the road comes to an end, and there is water. We all ditch as the car sails off the bridge into the ocean. Strange, because I live nowhere near an ocean. We somehow get the car back, and I drive alone this time. A cop now lights up behind me, and I pull over. However, I hit about two or three parked cars in the process and do a barrel roll in the process. Landing on all fours, the car finally stops. The cop is now walking over to me until he notices the car is on fire. I get out quickly and run into the gas station nearby. The cop tries to stop me and follows me in. Several people in the gas station draw guns and point at the cop. As I hide behind a store shelf I look up to hear the cop talking to them. Everything then goes black as I hear gunshots ring out. I awake in the near future where my apparent mentor is speaking to me. I have apparently become a very powerful emperor or something of that matter. This is all beginning to get way too strange to me. I then realize that I'm dreaming. I leave the building I'm in and begin walking around. I wonder what to do, when I remember there's the task of the month. I think one of them is to ask someone for a present and record their reaction. I go into a convenience store and look around. I see a man in one aisle with really curly hair and a beard.
"Excuse me sir," I say. "May I have a gift?" He looks at me now and smiles.
"Of course!" he replies. He then grabs a pack of Starbursts candy and leaves. I follow him and he goes to the check out. He buys his own candy and drink and then grabs his bag. He then looks at me and smiles.
"Haha! Now you have to pay for this!" he says evilly. He grabs the Starbursts package and throws it at me, and it bounces off of me. He then runs out of the store and I stand there in shock, trying to process what happened. I plan to go kick his ass, but I then awake.

I was acting out a sequel to the movie "Battleship" (enh not a great movie, but the effects and action were pretty cool.) and I was commanding a ship to stop the aliens from bombing a coastal city. We only had four minutes to do it. We pulled into position and saw the alien ship. (Our ship was sailing parallel to the shore of a tropical-looking island. When I saw the alien ship, I recognized it as the last alien ship from the movie. (The one that projects the giant sheild.) I couldn't help but remark that the ship wasn't projecting a shield like in the movie, even though it had the shield projector panels out.
We were still out of range, and one of my officers came up with an idea. She started launching small mines into the water. She told me to detonate them when they were directly behind the ship and they would thrust us forward.
I had to get a handle on how long it took for the mines to be launched then drift to the back of our ship. I eventually found that launching them, counting to four, then detonating them was enough to thrust us forward.
I lost my handle on the dream for a bit, and now we were in the town the aliens were about to bomb, trying to warn the citizens. I had become mildly lucid, clearly not enough to hunt down my guide or alter the plot of the dream, but the plot of the dream was pretty cool anyway.
I can't even remember how I figured out the flying technique, but it was weird. I would have to hold my left hand out in front of me with my index and middle fingers raised. The idea was this was called focus flying, and it was one of the millions of ways lucid dreamers learn to fly. (Someone standing behind me told me that.)
I lifted into the air, and quickly learned how to control myself. I continued with the dream plot by flying through the streets of the city, warning people to get inside because aliens were preparing to land we were going to fight them. I also remember a couple of my lieutenants (I was a ship commander) were there and they seemed both impressed and confused by the fact that I could fly.
I eventually went inside the largest building in the town. (The town was mostly one and two story buildings built up by the beach. This was a large hotel, maybe 8 stories tall.) I flew inside, and found the building went pretty far underground. I was still focus flying, and I continued by warning people about the oncoming aliens. I told them to go to the lowest floor of this hotel.
Oh yeah, all the dream characters were really confused as to how I was flying around with two fingers raised.
I got outside and flew back to a group of my naval officers who were still standing in the middle of the street. They said that it was "too late" and we had failed, and used up our four minutes. The aliens had won they told me. I woke up.

I was watching a 3d animated movie. It was one of those really cliche stories about the boy who sticks out like a sore thumb at school and always gets bulled and what not. The first scene I recall seeing was the group of bullies get onto the school bus at their stop. One of the bullies said "This is where we get on on, and this is where you get off!" And threw the main character kid off the bus.
The bus drove off, and he ran after it. Somebody remarked that there was no way he was getting to school on time.
Until now, I had been spectating. Now, the movie explained that the next character had to be an older kid who used to be bullied alot, but now had made the best of it and was doing better. I would have to help/guide this kid. So I was given a body.
Then I realized I was in the same situation as the boy, late to his school and forced to run after him.
...this can't be right!
I realized I needed to reality check. But for some reason, I couldn't think of an actual reality check, so I had to come up with one on the fly. I decided to punch something really hard, because if I'm dreaming, I'm actually just laying in bed, and there's no way I can feel pain from hitting the structure.
I punch the side of a brick building, and it doesn't hurt. I just feel a little shock go up my arm, to let me know that the surface is solid. This also stabilized the dream some. The main character kid was still running to school, and I was quite a ways behind him.
I held up my left hand again, with two fingers raised. I started running after him, and jumped. I landed with a hard impact on the ground. I jumped again. I sailed through the air for about 20 feet. I was catching up to him. I jumped onto a bench, ran across the seat, and jumped off the other end. I landed on the concrete, bent down, and focused my energy (as best I could) onto my fingers.
Kaboom, I'm off and flying. Now the thing about focus flying, in both these dreams, Is you don't go much faster than 20 miles per hour. It seemed to be a very slow, controllable method of flying. But when I took off, the first thing I had to do was steer to avoid a rather large tree growing out of town square.
I flew over the main character boy. His face looked like this.
I saw the school coming in the distance. It looked like the school from my comic strip, in that it was tan colored and had broad windows. The group of bullies were in the school yard, and they also had that face when they saw me fly overhead and land inside a second story window. The director explained that it was OK that I hadn't helped the boy, because he wanted to establish that we were friends before he started having me help him.
When I got inside, I the inside looked exactly like my high school. I decided to show off to my friends the flying technique. But first I had to use my reality check again, so I punched a cinder block wall inside the school and again, just a mild shock sensation to indicate that the wall was solid.
I came over to the staircase. (At my HS, the cafeteria is sort of sunk into the floor.) and decided to use that as my launching pad. But the focus flying failed.
Because I had such bad lucidity, I figured the reason my flying was failing was I wasn't dreaming anymore. This meant OH MY GOD! I'M AT SCHOOL CLASS STARTS IN FIVE MINUTES AND I DON'T HAVE MY BACKPACK!
I decided to text my mom and ask her to bring my backpack to school. I recalled leaving it by the door. But I wanted to word my text in a funny way. So I turned on my phone and started texting her, but I couldn't think of a funny way to word my text. My phone was really low on battery and died. I woke up.

I woke up one morning and felt a sore spot on the back of my thigh. I went through the day without much irritation in that spot, but by the end of the day it started aching. I was wearing shorts in my dream, so I moved my hand back there to see why it was hurting so bad. When I felt the spot, I felt a hard bump probably about the size of an average fist. I moved my leg in a way so I could see what it was. It was a screw that was obviously screwed into my skin. I also noticed that blood was leaking out of the sides.

I sat down in a way where I could reach the screw, and started pulling it out of my skin. It left a huge gaping hole I the back of my thigh, but once I got the screw out, I went about the rest of the night normal as if there wasn't a huge hole there.

The next morning, I felt about 2 more painful spots. They were also on the back of my thighs. I ended up pulling two more screws out of my leg that day.

Every morning more and more screws appeared in my skin. On the back of my thighs, my back, and legs. I'd always pull them out leaving deep holes everywhere.

The last thing I remember is someone coming up to me and mentioning something about werewolves.
I was in the slow process of becoming a werewolf and apparently the screws were part of that process.

I was in a house full of bunnies. They were filling up the first, second, third, fourth, and fifth floors.

They started escaping.

I ended up in an ocean in a pirate ship, with bigger pirate ships around us. We were in battle. Once we escaped the other ships, somebody yelled that there was a black hole.
I looked ahead, and saw a huge hole in the water that we were spinning into.

Right before we got sucked in, I woke up.

I was talking with my mother in person about our move out of state (in dream only), about how I don't know whether we would get jobs right away, but that costs were heaped there.

At some point my mother wanted to know why my phone number was not listed (also not real). It seemed she thought it was because I wanted to be unhelpful, and I said that it was because of my work secrets.

At another point in the conversation my mom also attacked the fact that we have so many board games.

12.07.13

Last night bed 1:30am - 9:40am

DR 5:48am

I'm on a bus trip with class. We are driving along a concrete canal, that's filled with nice water to the top. On the slope of the canal, across from water, there are large graves. All encasted in marble, all different colors of whites and greys and blacks. We are visiting this town, where something bad happened. I think half the town burned down.

I recognize my former teacher UH and we joke about something sex related.

We are leaving the hotel we were staying in. I'm last one to leave. I still want to take a shower, so I walk into the bathroom. The floor is freshly washed and my UGGs are making dirty footprints. I have to find a rag and wipe it clean, while it's still wet. The shower stall is already wiped dry as well, even new soap and pink plastic scrubby thing is replaced for a new one. I hate to make a mess again.

Someone with knife walks outside the building and I follow him. I know he is about to be shot by police, when they yell at him to throw down his weapon. I drop my pistol and I'm trying to get closer to this guy to protect him from being shot. But he raises his hand and takes an aim at the police, who are across the canal. They shoot him, before I'm able to get in front of him. I'm devastated.

9:30
Someone left us $700 000. I walk into a small both to count the money. There is only 17x $100 bills. Then I notice, they are not bills, but sheets of 17 $100 bills. There is 170 sheets.
Today, 12.8.13, I got my new ID card, and it consists of 0s, 1s, and 7s. Hrm, pretty cool. After this dream, I was actually thinking of getting lottery with these numbers, because I felt they are significant.

I'm downstairs at my aunts, cleaning, while my whole extened family is upstairs, at my moms. We are all going somewhere. They are waiting for me. I walk outside. It's nightime. There is some snow on the ground, and everything is icy. Everybody who didn't fit in the cabin is in the back of the pickup truck. I say that's not safe. Even if we don't cause an accident, someone else may and we will get hurt. So they put me in the cab and I hate that, and they hate me for it.

We arrive to the train station to continue our trip. ( I saw a picture Ophelia posted today of her white pickup truck parked outside her house, with everything encased in ice. Rare winter snow and ice for Dallas area).

Don't really remember much except a fragment of some guy shouting at a group of people about how poorly planned the skyscraper he lived in was.
Because of poor planning, the residential floors commingled with private offices, inevitably leading to a bunch of noise and break-in because of it.

There were also these lizard beings that had landed on Earth, and mechs were thrown into the mix too I believe. Either way, not the best recall I've had.