Recent DJ Posts

I've spent the past few scenes in this huge house, and I'm currently walking through a door that I expect to take me back to a place I'd been in earlier in the dream - there's a character I'd intended to meet up with again. Instead, I find myself in a room I think of as resembling a sanatorium - there are long rows of beds on each side of the room, with a few curtains here and there for privacy. On each bed there's a woman in a hospital gown, writhing like she's in a bad demon possession horror flick.

I go lucid and try to remember if there are any lucid tasks I'd wanted to perform of the ask-a-DC variety - no, there aren't any. But I believe dialogue is the only lucid trick I can do right now. So I ask something of the various women and get short, boring answers - I don't remember what I asked or what those boring answers were. The last one I asked gave me a longer answer involving a reference to an earthworm - I noted her response as nonsensical but phrased poetically, which I thought of as a step up from the straightforward and boring responses from the others. I'm now mentally comparing them less to demon possession horror flicks and more to Greek spirits - Furies or such.

Towards the end of the row of hospital beds, there's a woman who's much older than the others. She objects to me - calls my behavior intrusive. She takes my hand in hers, saying this will help her see me - representing that this should be a two-way conversation, rather than just me one-sidedly questioning them. Closing her eyes for a moment, she asks what's blocking me. My first instinct is that she's referring to meditation, mysticism, that sort of thing. But since she didn't say so specifically, I go with a safe response: I talk about general life concerns. She cuts me off and clarifies that she was indeed asking about meditation and mysticism and such. I, sounding annoyed, say I was getting to that - which is a lie.

But we continued talking about general life concerns anyway - specifically career things. Everything we said on the subject sounded sensible (even after I woke up), and she pointed out a good solution that I disliked - I thought it sounded like more effort than it was worth. She quite reasonably laughed at me for that - for wanting a perfect solution to just come along without any effort.

Date: 08 Aug

Pre bed: 1/2 cup soy milk, 350 mg arginine (combo)

Wbtb: 1/2 latte, felt discomfort due heat which made it harder to concentrate. I tried doing 1-2 ssild cycles to relax, but mostly gave up due discomfort.

WILD: First was a transitional stage of me in bed and my body rotating, as I was trying to figure out which hands I'm moving. Kind of blurry memory here.

This later switches to another scene in parents' old bedroom where I appear feeling rather floaty and unstablish. In front of me are wooden shelves, so I run my hands on the surfaces multiple times to anchor myself. At the same time a glass case catches my attention, where I can see my reflection - averagely normal with something weird lurking behind. As I turn around to see what it is I am faced by my own doppelgänger and she is somewhat aggressive. She throws herself on the ground initially in some sort of a unexplainable act. Then approaches menacingly but I put her on hold - at an arm's distance with my mind.

As I manage my own reactions she calms down and now I decide to look at her more closely and make some manipulations. What if I were taller and she is now much taller. I examine her with curiousity but still have a bit of an after feel of aggression so decide to make sure she is harmless. I give the overly tall DC a hug around the waist and watch as she changes features to a different DC.

Then, I see the door behind her and feel like doing some tking. I look at it in order to will it open but the dream slips away. Back to my body and still for a DEILD

DEILD: I appear on the balcony, the one that looks over to neighbors. Quite excited about being here as this brings memories of past non-lds. There is a guy that pushes me ahead (as to move further, him being quite active) as I examine the neighbors' balcony. The dream is rather unstable at this point but I'm glad to have a companion and cross over to the other balcony where there is some sort of mattress, thinking both of us can sit here for a bit and plan the dream.

Forgot the exact words now, but told him something like "let's talk about adventures" or so and was waiting for him to sit. He disappears in the kitchen (neighbors) but then is back again, wearing the same red t-shirt as I make a mental note (resembles somewhat Michael Cassidy).

My voice is barely coming out as I say the adventure sentence and I wonder if it would count if I ask him about the basic task telepathically. But how is he going to answer? Too complicated and I decide to go with normal speech, struggle to speak but finally ask him.

His reply is "Woof" which sounds as if he is barking.

Me: "Woof?", are you sure?

He: Uhum. (as in yes)

Me: Ok, then. So what does that mean?

He: Hoof.

I ask for confirmation and he gives me another uhum. Oh well. The dream soon falls apart. I'm not feeling quite in shape to deild so let it go at this point and after a brief ld review go to sleep.

Non-memorable dreams, something vivid that forgot and then.

LD: I am near this familiar building. Something clicks and I recognize this as place of older dreams. There was a false memory or thought about the place too. I get inside and decide to experiment with door summons to see where they lead. I open a door - there are two DCs coming out of something that looks like a sparsely furnished bathroom. I don't quite like it, so close the door and wait a bit till it changes to try again.

In the meantime, more DCs appear around me and one of them makes aggressive moves towards me. After an initial super strength outburst, which comes out like some sort of a force push, I decide to chill out and try to calm them down while taking a moment to examine my inner state. I'm still slightly apprehensive of them, so try to control my own reactions and feel more at ease. From the tense situation I work on my indifference, relaxing more and at some point I start walking around freely and making funny zen moves (but not the Xanous move alas!). Don't remember when but at some point the dream ends.


Lucid FA: I wake up at home, the room looking very realistic and bf is walking around. I decide to play a bit stupid and ask him if I'm dreaming couple of times as if I've lost my mind and can't tell that this is reality. He reacts almost normally but I am still unconvinced. There's something in his reaction that is a bit off. "Hey, am I dreaming?", I continue shouting as he vanishes behind the corner. A female DC with a dark red cardigan comes in and then there is no more doubt. I feel a bit euphoric about being able to catch this fa as it felt like quite the thing I would have missed.

Contrary to other times when I have entered the other room, it now turns to a different place altogether. At first I don't catch the clues, but after more examination of the classical wooden furniture, it clicks how this place can indeed be the interior of Howl's castle.

Without any intention from my side, I notice that there is a fireplace to the side and the fire is as real as it gets. It dawns on me after seeing it that it is calficer. I approach the dream fire with astonishment for it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's not just a regular fire - there is so much light in it, it shines like a little star, while at the same time being surrounded by flames. I feel almost mesmerized by the sight of it and am so happy to have it in the dream.

Spontaneously, I place my hands around the fire and try to absorb some of its heat and energy. As my hands get closer to the little fire, there is slight tension as in heat related sensation but insignificant to dwell on. In the meantime, the fire gets smaller and smaller as if this process is really draining it. I don't want to do away with it altogether so stop whatever it is I'm doing. The thought crosses my mind that I have spent way too long playing around and risk not completing the task because of that.

I face the room and see that the girl is here again. Now she has a pony tail, blue top and and slightly disturbing facial hair. As I approach her, her face clears a bit and I ask her couple of times if she is Sophie, to which she replies yes.
Perfect, now all I need is a door.

There's a small door on the wall that I open, but it turns more into a small window, plus I need to turn the color dial wheel first. I face the other wall where there is a white door and look to see if there is a dial next to it - there isn't. I recall couple of techniques I thought of using in such case, but instinctively pick another one. Bf's DC is just nearby so I ask him to hand me a dial wheel to put next to the door.

He gives me a round knob-like white object that I place next to the door, cover with my hands and start spinning, until the second layer of it starts to reveal multiple colors. Initially it stops on blue, then it moves to orange. I feel like I want to pick a particular color but am not quite sure which one. I rotate it to yellow, remarking to myself this is taking way too much time. Curious whether the outside will be the same as what can be seen through the nearby window (garden), I think it's high time to stop messing with the wheel dial and open the door.

But it's too late - the dream abruptly ends and I find myself in bed, moving my hand and feels like I've lost the opportunity to go back and complete the task.

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

I'm aware T. is going to rob my home and kill me tonight, as if I'd seen the future. I took some steps in preparation for that, but I believed that what is going to happen can't be averted. However, it turns out I'd misinterpreted something: while T. really was robbing the place, the killer turns out to be someone else, a stranger who broke in with a knife. T. and some other people who live here help fight him off. We get to the scene I knew was coming, when the knife's supposed to cut deeply into my shoulder and stop just above my heart, and I wonder if I'll be able to feel pain in a dream. I decide to have the scene go a different way instead, I close my eyes and imagine that T. and the others hold him back enough that the knife turns aside. When I open my eyes again, the stranger is on the floor, dead.

I decide to perform "Deedlit's healing spell." (It's been years since I watched Lodoss - did Deedlit even have a healing spell? - I think this was mostly some generic mental association between elves and healing.) I say something I no longer remember, a phrase in English something like a prayer, and there's a warm gold glowing light around my hands, which I hold over the dead man until he revives, though he remains quietly on the floor. I then repeat the spell with the others in the room, although they don't seem to have any wounds, and they're surprised but appreciate it. I leave the room and go to heal my IRL sister L., who in the dream lives next door, waking her up in the process. I then go down the hall to find T. again and heal him too.

Me and T. talk for a while, and as he talks his appearance changes. He walks into the kitchen briefly and when he comes back, he's become a different person entirely, and he's joined by another man. They both claim to know me and to have been looking for me for a long time, although they call me by two different names. The one who wasn't T. speaks with a heavy Scottish accent and calls me Jack. As I'm speaking to them, I remember that while I'm lucid, I had some things I wanted to get done, and I try to remember what those were. I decide it was the Task of the Month. (Apparently reading the TOTM thread last night was enough to overrule my personal lucid goals.) I remember that the Task was to ask a DC who your true love or soulmate is, so I ask these guys, who's my true love? They both go silent and look extremely uncomfortable, like that's a question I shouldn't ask. I tell them any answer is fine, it's just a task, and I try phrasing it with 'soulmate' instead, but that doesn't get a better response. I feel like their belief that they knew me a long time ago is affecting this, that it's part of what makes this a question they don't want to answer, so I decide to go outside and find someone else to ask.

Outside my IRL home, I'm appreciating how vivid it is. There's a chill in the air, a nicely realistic touch, and there's no snow on the ground, which is a great change. I walk off the driveway and onto the main road, and for some reason I feel like that's an important dividing line, particularly when lucid. My attention is caught by a squirrel across the road standing on its front legs, craning its neck to look up at the sky; and then by the body of a dead deer at the 3-way crossroads. I believe (incorrectly) that this dead deer is always here at the crossroads when I dream, and I think about going over to talk to it, but on second thought the idea makes me a little uncomfortable - I think it'll follow me home. Better not. There's a rock just beside my driveway with some words carved into it, and I start to go over to read it, but a car drives by. I stop it and walk over to the driver, ask her who my true love is. Again, she goes silent and gives me the impression that this is a question I shouldn't ask. I decide to go for a ride, and I climb into the car through the window.

Inside the car, the woman I spoke to isn't the driver at all, she's a passenger. There's six women in the car, all of them working in the fashion industry or as models, and with the exception of the woman I'd spoken to and the driver, the rest of them resent someone who's not part of the industry hitching a ride. No one except the driver knows where they're going - it's a surprise. The driver's name is Audrey, she's someone big in the fashion industry, wearing large dark sunglasses. I ask Audrey who my true love is, and as an answer, she produces a piece of lined paper with something written on it, crumples it up, and throws it out the window. She's not throwing it away - she means for me to reach out my window and catch it. I'm too slow, I just miss it. But I decide - no, I didn't miss it. I caught it. I announce out loud, "Got it!" I 'remember' the feel of catching it, and then I draw my hand back inside the car. No good, my hand's empty. The women in the car look at me oddly for claiming to have caught the paper when I hadn't. I try the hand-behind-the-back summoning trick, but still nothing.

Since I keep failing to get an answer to this question, I decide I'll switch to a different Task of the Month. For some reason I believe that the other basic task is to kiss a DC. I stop to think about that for a minute, since I'm sure that can't be right, that's too basic, but then I decide it's meant as something simple to stick with a Valentine's Day theme. (Was I mixing it up with the kiss-a-zombie one? I had just raised someone from the dead, shame I didn't follow up on that. ) Although I'm not sure how I got here, I'm now following Audrey into an elevator with one of the other women from the car. I ask Audrey if I can kiss her, and she says sure. I can't remember what happened after that, but next thing I remember we're leaving the elevator and I'm thinking that didn't work. We're now standing in a large room with a mirror and a couch, and I ask the other woman, a slightly chubby, very beautiful blonde, if I can kiss her. She says okay. We're standing in front of the mirror, and I'm surprised to see the mirror's actually reflecting her and the room we're in (though not me, as usual), and her reflection looks exactly like her, although it's watching us instead of mirroring her actions. I lean in to kiss her and close my eyes, but perhaps because I was distracted by the mirror, I find I've wound up kissing her reflection instead, through the glass. I move us away from the mirror, focus on the feeling of her shoulder under my hand, and try again. I'm too focused on comparing this to real life and trying to improve the realism to enjoy it much - the feeling of her lips themselves is accurate, but that's about it. I'm thinking that this sort of thing really doesn't translate to dreams well, and I should focus on doing things that aren't possible IRL. So I remember the 'other' (actual) task of the month: I step back and ask her if she knows who my true love is. Again, she seems uncomfortable with the question and doesn't answer. Then I think that asking someone you've just kissed to tell you about your true love may be a little tactless.

There's a cat by the mirror now, yowling. Two people who work here rush over to it to try to get it to be quiet. On the other side of the room, there's a whole row of mirrors and a hairdresser standing in front of them, talking about originality or lack thereof in fashion shows. I lose lucidity and follow him, listening to him for a few moments before I wake up.

Date: 05 Jan

Noisy neighbors and dehydration = wbtb

I drift in and out of sleep. There's a short non-ld where I observe and discuss a huge dog, two other large dogs and their owners. We take pictures.

DILD: This one started right after the non-ld as separate dream. I was looking forward to an ld after the neighbor induced wbtb.

I begin to feel the surroundings and hear a gentle tune as if coming from a toy or a music box. I am aware. This time things happen much slower and I notice that indeed, it was dark around me and then suddenly I open my eyes and see. The room is bright and vivid and dream-like liquid. This is supposed to be our kitchen. I'm happy I noticed the opening of the eyes. In this official dream entry/realization moment the melody makes a concluding sound, it then starts again. I find one of those kid toys that produce similar effects and make it play. I still hear the gentle tune plus there is a second layer of slower modern music (like a techno beat) in the background. I enjoy this for a while, having the feeling that I left the tablet on and the music is seeping in the dream.

For my disappointment, I ascertain that there is no one here and I wanted to do the resolution task again. I approach the window and see that the neighbor's place is just below, there is a bed and his entire room is accessible. Without hesitating, I get down and end up in his bed, but then have second thoughts. Things look kind of real, what if this is rl and I am trespassing? I decide to do a nose plug, it fails, but I notice the feeling is somewhat different from rl. I'm kind of annoyed and can't remember any other RCs to confirm. Finally, I conclude that I probably wouldn't be that crazy to do this normally and resume my activities.

My hope was to find the neighbor in his room, but there's no one there so I go around. It's a huge apartment complex in an unknown place. I pass by the windows of a closed store, some really nice sweaters inside and I almost lose lucidity thinking about the brand and design. I continue on my way to see another store, also closed. It's dark on the streets, like the city in early morning with no people in sight, apart for a guy that goes in the direction where I came from. I think he is another neighbor and then the realization hits me that I can ask him. I go back and follow him to his place. He soon comes down being a completely different DC (tribal dots on his face) with two other DCs accompanying him. He claims they are neighbors. I also introduce myself as a his neighbor and ask him about his NY resolutions. He replies he doesn't have time now, because he just met the other neighbors and it's one per weekend thing.

I insist on getting my answer, "don't worry I am not going to bother you, just tell me what your New Year's resolution is". He starts talking but I can't catch the words, the sound is muffled. He mentions something about a woman and then after repeated questioning from my side finally replies "I want to be someone they always remember, always want to know". Oh, that is beautiful, I exclaim and repeat his sentence a few more times to commit to memory. Two other DCs come in. I try to remember my other tasks but before I do, the dream fades.

Date:03 Jan

Wbtb: around 50 caffeine (latte), way too wakeful again

WILD: I finally feel as if I am not in bed anymore but somewhere else, so allow myself to look around (don't remember opening the eyes?). Yes, I am in an unknown room that has a slight resemblance to grandma's place.

At this point I recall 3 tasks and notice that there isn't a single DC here. The dream feels unstable and I recall that we talked how 501 would examine his hands in detail to anchor himself in the dream and decide to do so. I have a good look at my hands, which look quite realistic and similar to my real ones and move on to my arm where I concentrate on the fine hairs. I also remember to do the old classic stabilization where I lick my arm but with little effect. I still feel the dream slipping away and nervously walk around, thinking maybe I would try this opposite task I had in mind, but I begin to lose vision. The lower part of my vision becomes a blur and I begin to feel weightless, so conclude now isn't a good time for that particular task.

My vision gets somewhat better. I turn around and see a window, a good opportunity to get out of here. There is distinct coldness emanating from outside and I am sure it will help me freshen up and condense me back to normal. Before going out, I briefly wonder whether to bring a blanket or something, since the air is chilly. I open the window and push myself outside. In the meantime, a girl passes by carrying a blanket that she drops nearby. I ask her about her NY resolution but can't hear what she replies. The dream collapses.

DEILD: I very briefly touch on my body and concentrate on dreaming again. There's a confusing mid point dreamlet where I remain in darkness and can hear women talking around me, I keep still, waiting for the dream.

I feel a scene change, but decide I will wait a bit longer to allow the dream to fully form and maybe it will be more stable. I finally conclude it is ok to move and begin exploring. I am in my old room and can see that the voices from the previous part belong to a number of women. They are sitting on couches around a table with food and drinks as if there's some sort of party going on. A friend from school is also there.

I remember the NY resolution task and make an announcement that I would like to hear what their resolutions are. My friend says "I want some juice" and points at the table. A bit unsatisfied with the answer I move on to the next woman who looks in her forties and repeat the same question. She just stares at me with her mouth open. I wait a bit but not a single word comes out. There's another woman sitting next to her and I address her "what about your beautiful friend sitting next to you?", I feel as if I am moderating some sort of show. She says something about a friendship club in New York. I try to memorize as much as possible. The dream soon ends.

I make a quick review in mind and wonder if I should try to go back for more but really need to visit the restroom.

I also remember a fragment that I can't allocate, where I was looking at a blue/grayish backpack with something written on it by CL.

Date: 1 Aug

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Natural wake: 2x, impression of vivid dreams with fleeting memory after both wakes

Dream quality: very vivid, realistic and generally stable, lasted a while

Recall: I had to rush out of bed as was late, spent a few mins motionless after wake but the dream memory began erasing, reviewed dream during shower and wrote down 4 hrs later

Tech: snooze by-product. After the normal alarm I pressed the snooze button which was set for 15 more mins.

DILD+: The beginning of this dream is almost impossible to recall as were my very first actions while lucid. I think it was one of those from scratch dilds, where I suddenly appear in a scene.

The location is a non-existent room with an open view to the street of our first home. I look around and say something to the DCs in this strange room. There are a number of them, at least two are classmates. I have no idea what I said there, or what else I noticed in the first part of the ld.

Then I think that I'd better start doing some tasks as I worry that I will either lose lucidity or destabilize the dream by not engaging thoroughly. Haven't thought about tasks for a while, but look at my hand where I have mentally recorded my tasks irl. I recall 4-5 tasks. Any that involve leaving the room are out of the question, as I have the certainty that this lead to me losing control over the situation in this particular dream. So I decide to stay in the room and see what I can do here.

My personal "ask a DC" task comes to mind and I go over to the DC girl that looks like my classmate and ask her how to ld more often. She says a few words that don't make any sense. I repeat the last word she said, asking for a confirmation. While she is in front of me, she continues talking, but now I hear her voice coming from somewhere to my right. I find this kind of strange. Also, the DC of my dad, who only looks like him but has an aggressive nasty feel to him, is there. He behaves daringly, coming closer to me and then grabs me. For a moment I feel helpless as this DC is very strong. I struggle for a while, then recall a similar situation where I escaped a DC by thinking that he can't hold me because I have no hands/body. This works again so he lets go and I back away.

Hearing the girl's voice coming from a different location helps me remember I also wanted to do alternative voice experiments. I say a sentence, but I only hear my own voice. I gather more power and shout out. This time my voice sounds different and there is a pleasant resonance, a bit like echo, but not exactly.

I move on to the next task "transformation" and get ready do it, although I feel that my dream control powers in this dream are very weak. I notice that I am wearing my winter coat plus a hood and feel very warm. I just want to take those winter clothes off before I proceed with the transformation. I start unbuttoning the coat but then remember that none of my naked TOTM attempts were successful. I feel this will take too much time to execute and might destabilize the dream as well. I think about ripping my winter coat, but I just can't find the courage to do it. I go over to another classmate (male) and delegate the task to him.

My classmate does a very good job undressing me, the layers of top clothes just disappear in front of my eyes. Then I get carried away, sit on top of him and start kissing him, forgetting about anything else. A few moments later, I notice that I am sitting in the darkness, I guess kissing with my eyes closed?, but I still feel his body and the room. I begin wondering what exactly am I kissing, are these his lips or his tongue. Very confusing. I can see now, weirdly, his ears catch my attention and I zoom into some strange things there. I tell him that he will need to clean his ears later on.

I have no more sexy interest and think about the dream and that it was pretty stable and long. I am running out of tasks, and regret that I have no idea what this month's TOTM is. I decide that I will try to reach out for this information and my tablet magically appears in front of me. The browser as well as the virtual keyboard open and I want to type dreamviews.com.

The initial letters are fine, but towards the end, the keyboard letters are on the wrong places and reverse. I try to ignore the problem, tapping on where I know the letters should be. I type something close to dreamviews.cm and the page starts loading but the address changes to something like google, and the page that loads is google as well. Just instead of the google logo, it's something with less letters and reverse again. Disappointed I leave the tablet aside and look around.

I think at this point the dream ends, but instead of me going through the void, the dream skips forward to the next scene.

This leaves me a bit confused, as I expect to have a non-ld FA or wake up, so I passively start thinking about this. I remain disoriented in the room as the surroundings change and then gain back my clarity to realize that the dream continued in this strange manner. I am now in a very large furniture store, where me and my bf are the only "clients". It's a very calm atmosphere, crystal clear and extremely realistic. I wonder what to do in this room and see an empty champagne glass that I take with the intention of breaking. I am somewhat reluctant to do it, as it feels bad to be vandalizing this nice quiet real-life like shop. I playfully throw it high in the air, but instread of falling on the floor and breaking, it lands comfortably in my hand. I find this very cool and I do it again...

At this point the snooze alarm wakes me up!