All DJ Entries

December 4, 2010
Wake Time: 6:15 AM

AWAKE DREAM LUCID

I cannot recall any dreams as real as this one. To put it simply... It blew my mind! Here it is: I woke up in my bed, feeling the sheets on my body. Then for some reason I decided to look at my hands. I made a fist and my hand looked abnormally small. I thought, Hmm... This cant be right. Then it hit me: I am dreaming! Then I remembered to look at my hands and examine them, while also rubbing them together in order to make the dream intensify in clarity. It worked, and my hands felt so very real! It was very dark in my room and I could not see very well. So I walked over to the light switch feeling my way over. Everything in my room felt exactly how it did in real life. The wood floor on my bare feet, the couch upholstery, and the fabric of my clothing. I turned on the switch in my room, and it did turn on the lights (some people say that lights don't work in their dreams. I find that they always work in mine). I didn't bother to look around though after the light turned on. I just moved on to the hallway outside my bedroom, which was also dark so I had to feel the walls to get through it. Then I got to the stairs and walked down them, while the steps made the same sound they usually do when I descend them. When I got down to the bottom I turned the corner to walk down another hallway in my house. Then I decided that I would see if my dream body felt as real as it does in real life. I felt the sides of my stomach and it tickled a bit, then I felt my legs. Then I had a thought. What if I was sleep walking in real life? To test my theory, I only had to think to myself, I want to go back to my real body. I opened up my eyes. WOW! I wasn't sleep walking. Then I proceeded to retrace my steps from the dream. Everything felt exactly as it did in the dream.

Some out there are probably thinking, Why would you waste an opportunity like that to just walk around your house?? You do that everyday! Well, I think that I didn't understand right then that I could have done anything I wanted to. Also I have been wanting to have a dream that takes place in my new house. I think next time I will try and translocate myself through a door and go somewhere fairly interesting next time. I don't regret this experience at all though, not one bit.

I usually preface my journal entries with a little bit of background about the past few days or that night specifically. I haven't DJed in a while because even though I'm getting a couple dreams of recall a night, for some reason I always felt a strange aversion to doing it while home. I don't really know why, but tonight I induced my third ever lucid dream so it's definitely a sign that I need to DJ again! I went to bed at 11pm after eating so much dessert and too much food probably. I now have a blistering headache probably because I usually don't eat any dessert at all or carbs. Today was brutal for my body!

I set my alarm for 4:55am and I didn't have any dreams that I recall until that buzzer went off. It was the first time in a while I was totally conscious after the buzzer sounded. I moved only a little and did a couple of multiplication problems in my head. I focused some consciousness on my hands and affirmed that I would have a lucid dream and I would recognize the dream state. I guess I was right!


Dream 1-- Lucid Dream #3

I am in this room with Dean. It's like a play room or something. There is a carpet on the ground, a rocking horse to my left, a TV with some cartoon on, a shelf with some books, and us. I feel like a kid and Dean kinda appears to be a little bit younger. I knew him for a long time so that might make sense.

Anyway, I'm watching the TV and Dean comes over in front of the TV and asks if I want to take this pill, which is called EACL in the dream. He looks really happy and excited, so I'm like sure. I take it and it makes everything around me change. I suddenly have full senses and am fully participating in the dream, but I don't exactly know that I am in a dream, I just know that I have full control and that everything feels amazing. I start crawling on my hands and knees in a direction away from Dean. He follows me a little bit, pretty close behind me. As I stop, I feel his forearm pressing into the back on my dick. It feels really good, and I am flooded with a feeling of pleasure, but then I kick him in the knee, causing him to collapse against a bookshelf. He doesn't look hurt or anything, but he says "ow" in a monotone voice. In that instant, I feel a pang of anger and sadness simultaneously. I have this thought like "I shouldn't have kicked him in the knee, that was naughty of me" and at the same time "I'm angry as shit because you did that." I look over at him and I say "Don't touch my dick with your forearm" in a really angry tone. I get up and walk over to the TV again, and sit down and watch. I hear his footsteps walking over to where I am sitting and he sits next to the rocking horse watching the TV as well. I go in to PassObs while still being lucid and I start to have these vivid thoughts that replay the dream in my mind and what was said/done. I start to regret kicking him but I feel really good about standing up for myself and not letting him do something to me that I didn't want.

Dream 2-- Police in my House

This dream is actually a continuation of the last dream because as soon as the previous one ends I have a false awakening in my bed and have this really strange feeling like I was just in the corner of my room facing the wall. I rationalize that I must have had the previous dream while facing the wall and walked back over to the bed. Then, I hear the alarm for my house go off, and I hear my parents downstairs. They are playing around and I hear my dad and mom start chasing eachother around the kitchen table. I start having vivid thoughts about how it might be possible that Dad could slip and fall and break his four front teeth. If that happened, he might go to a doctor and get perfect white teeth that would starkly contrast all his other teeth, and he would be walking around with 4 giant white teeth in front and all the rest would be small and greenish. I suddenly stopped thinking about that and had the urge to walk downstairs.

I don't remember this journey, but now I am in my laundry room with my parents, and the door to the garage is open. They tell me the police are outside and they are going to be searching the house. My dad turns to me an says in a private voice "Will they find anything in the garage apartment?" I try to think back to the last time I used it, and I start have these vivid memories about events that never actually occurred. I start picturing the apartment in my mind, the layout and everything. I can see my bag lying in the middle of the floor because I left it there, and then I the vivid imagery continues with the police walking up to the room and seeing the bag with marijuana blantantly lying in the middle of the ground. I have doubts about this image, but I have the definite knowledge that weed is somewhere in that room.

The room changes as I come back into the "real" situation in the laundry room. There is now a new door that never existed before and a police man in a tan jacket, hat, and pants is knocking on. He has a gun in his hand and I can see him through the glass window/door. My mom starts to walk over to the door, but the next thing I know there is a cop coming out of the side of the wall it seems. He is pointing his gun straight at me, so I raise my hands in the air. He is just staring at me, and I can feel my hands in the air. I'm thinking "I'm defenseless I have no weapons, and even if I did my hands are in the air" He tells me to start walking, and I turn around and start to walk away from the garage and into my main house.

I don't remember the short 5 step interim journey into my living room, but there is a cop dressed in the same tan outfit just laying down on a living room couch just chatting on his phone, twirling his gun around his finger. He's being really casual and I have this thought of confusion but also certainty that we are 1) in a movie and 2) the police aren't police but rather thieves trying to take all of our money and kill us. I walk to the back of the room. My sister and family and other people are there.

I walk over to a table in the corner and then look over at the "police" who are just relaxing on the couches. I walk toward a doorway and see an iphone laying on the table with a bright screen that says "ibpad (2)" as in this person got 2 text messages from the name ibpad. I slide the thing at the bottom of the phone and immediately start walking forward because I see the woman who might own the phone walking back into the room. I walk up to her so that my body is in the doorway and she is trying to walk past me. I instantly introduce myself "Hi, I'm Casper" and she is obviously trying to walk past me, but I just stand there and then she looks up and does a fake smile saying "Hi, I'm Evelyn" then I continue to not move. I rub my eyes because I am sleepy and say "How are you?" trying to make friendly conversation because I know she is trying to get to her phone and I feel like its my mission to stop her.

Eventually I get her talking about something and then my sisters walk up and we start having a real conversation that she can't really walk away from. In the middle of it, I look over at the police again and at the TV screen we have in our living room. The screen is a blown up picture of the messages on her iphone! As I look over and try to read the text, everyone else looks over and she is like "Shit!" I can't read the text in time, but suddenly the whole scene changes. I walk over to the fireplace and watch my dad talk to some asian guy who apparently goes to my school. He tells my dad he is going to be taking a 7th century military history class, and my ears perk up because I had a dream earlier in the year that I was taking that class and all it involved was playing on the computer in the form of some military strategy game. I'm listening intently to their conversation and he shows does the syllabus for the class. Dad reads it and after about two seconds he says "I'd be fine in this class until about the first Sunday, damn there are so many papers" Immediately i start to feel anxious and worried that I have to do all of these assignments that I never turned in and I start feeling stupid for not reading the syllabus, which gives a day-to-day report on what is due.

I look at the TV again, and it's baseball. Everybody is dressed in all white and I see the batter hit the ball pretty well. He starts running and I wake up.

Dream 3-- Spider Nightmare

This dream is the scariest fucking dream I have ever had. Not because of some ridiculous clown or my inability to run away from something, but that it represents something in my life so accurately but in a symbolic way that when I woke up and remembered the dream I started to convulse and cry for about 2 minutes. Even thinking about it now makes me a little uneasy.

The dream starts off in the same living room as before, but this time it's just me and my oldest sister. We are hanging out I don't really remember anything specific standing out. Suddenly, a spider drops down and lands on me. It crawls underneath my shirt, and I start to freak out. I'm screaming and trying to get her to help me but she doesn't understand what's going on. I pull out my iphone to determine what the extent of the problem is. I look up the type of spider that just crawled underneath my shirt, and it gives me this really long definition of this spider that involves some fucked up rules.

The spider is basically stuck underneath my shirt until someone other than myself removes it. As long as I try to remove it, it will have the ability to crawl away and avoid me. I won't be able to lift it off or grab it because it will just wiggle away. I won't enjoy having it underneath my shirt either. Not only will I be able to permanently feel it there, crawling around and just perched on my back, but everytime I eat something it will gnaw my kidneys and eat away at my core until I am dead. These rules scare the shit out of me and I immeditaely implore my sister to to remove the spider. I freak out and jump around and try to get the spider off of me. I'm still wearing my white shirt, so I just try to feel where it is on my back and grab it or brush it off, but it runs around on my back and even to my stomache. It just keeps crawling around and I can never get it off.

My sister tries something but it doesn't work, so she gives up and tells me we have to go get on the bus. I'm still freaking out but suddenly I am riding on this bus. There are a lot of people I know on this bus, and I am sitting in the back row, alone. I am trying to figure out how to get this spider off of me. I can't lean back into the seat and I can feel it start gnawing away at me. I almost cry on the spot because I feel helpless to change this horrible situation. I try to talk to the people around me but they don't seem to listen. The person across the aisle from me won't look at me when I try to talk to him, and my sister who is in the row in front of me turns around and gives me some food to eat. She tells me I just have a stomache ache and it will all go away. I start eating the food and remember that one of the rules was that the spider would eat away at my back equal to the amount of food I ate. I start feeling a seering pain in my right back/side and I feel so awful. I cry, I almost resign myself to death.

Then we are out of the bus, and we are on some beach. There is a lot of people gathering for a game of flag football to my left. I still feel the spider, and I am seated on a hill. As I am looking over, I hear one captain of one team call my name. He yells over to me "Casper, Dallas (which is my original home town)". I want to get up and play but I remember that I have this spider. Three girls who are standing up start talking to me from my right. They are all really pretty and I know one girl from Cru. We start talking and it's casual like "Hey, what's up" I get into this whole monologue about Cru and I feel really stupid and like I should stop talking and that everyone finds me weird. I have stopped thinking about the spider though.

Sitting, I fall backwards to a laying down position, and that randomly brings me into a tent. I am laying next to some asian guy. We are talking a little bit, but I find the conversation boring and start focusing on my shoes. I tell him that these skateboarding shoes are the coolest things ever invented and that they look so good when people take pictures of them. I start moving the shoe in different angles and just observing the shoe move. Then I wake up and remember my dream about 15 minutes later and start to cry/convulse.

I couldn't fall back asleep after all of these dream occurred so I said 'fuck it' and got out of bed to write in my DJ before starting my day. I have a horrible head ache and I need some advil. I couldn't fall back asleep because these dreams really preoccupied me while I was trying to relax.

October 31, 2008

Dreaming Lucid Awake sidenotes

I was in the cafeteria where my school variety show was. We just got finished with the last show. I then became lucid and started to think of the things I could do. I picked up a nearby water bottle and dumped it on one of my friends head. (just because I could!) I laughed and said to her, "Ha, it doesn't even matter because this is my dream!" I then went over to the window to look at the outside and it was dark out with stars. There was smoke coming out of the building so I bragged to my friend Cat that I could make all of that smoke disappear right out of the sky at my own will. Using my power I did it and made all of the stars really visible. Then I made a bunch of butterflies come out of the bushes and I could control them around. Then the dream started to fade. I awake and then I'm laying there thinking, I really want to continue that dream. It all came back to me except my location was different. Hey, I'm still lucid! I thought. I went and looked around and it was as if I was in a big living room with a tall ceiling. There was blue carpeting and a couple vending machines and couches. There were people on the couches but I don't remember their faces. I walked over to a light switch to see if it would actually turn on a light. I flipped the switch and a light shined on my friend. It was weird to me because usually in dreams, this doesn't happen. I remain lucid, and walk over to a vending machine. I waved my hand at it and out came a pop. I gave it to one of my friends and then looked at my hands. I counted five fingers on each but they didn't look right. The last thing I remember thinking is, In reality, I'm really just laying in bed dreaming all of this. Then I woke up. I had fun though!

I realize now that this is not a good method for being lucid. Distorting reality makes the dream bland and blurry. It was not a very clear lucid but it was still good. I also realized later on that I performed a DEILD without even knowing it. If anyone reads this, I'm warning you now not to do this in your LDs because it makes the dream fade, FAST. You should always find an excuse to why you have the powers. i.e. when I controlled the smoke I should have picked up something that gave me that power. Or have someone teach me how to do it. You get the picture... If not PM me and we'll talk!

Type: Lucid, fragmented, experimental.
Lucidity: [3/10]
Vividness: [2/10]



Well first of all let me say that having another lucid dream is a very reassuring thing to me, and also motivating - shows that my efforts, readings from all of you in the forums and books, are all having some sort of productive, positive effect! I tried for a year before I had my first LD, and was worried it was just random/by chance, but that occured on the 20th of September, so this was only a little more than two weeks apart. My LD goal was to have two lucid dreams by October 31st, and I've already accomplished that so early int he month. Woot.

Anyways, the dreams-

First dream of the night I'm at a house party with people my age or just a little bit younger. Lots of fun, I'm drinking vodka but I really do not like vodka much , so I ask somebody if I can trade for their whiskey but am rejected so I go mix it with something and drink it anways [should've been a DS since I stopped drinking]. Lots of girls , really good time, pretty average sized house a little big, white walls and completely dark outside windows. Suddenly we learn that the cops are coming, and there are underage people there so we clean up remarkably fast and efficiently and there is only food and soda out. The cops pull up and are standing outside the door but don't knock for some reason, so I open the door and ask "How may I help you, officer?" and he responds by asking me why I just opened the door [which was pretty funny]. I"m worried since I don't want to be arresting purchasing for minors but they wind up arresting two other guys for completely unrelated reasons to the party and leave without trouble. I remember one of the guys having a bright orange bandana, plain, that just struck me as odd, possibly another DS.

I have another dream after that with the same cast of DC riding bikes or hanging otu near a lake outside, talking to girls, very summer ish, everything green nice big sky . [it's autumn now, no green to be seen]

So I don't recall precisly how I became lucid or the dream leading up to it but this is what I remember of the first one

I'm walking along a cobblestone path, woods on either side of me, and I decide to RC for a reason I cannot recall. I do the looking at hands technique, and then the pinch-ing nose technique and it passes and I verify that I am dreaming. Last time I got over excited and frantically repeated to myself "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming!" and lost control after about 15 seconds, so this time I was determined to remain calm and gently remind myself, which worked perfectly. I look at the ground, trying to focus my vision and repeat "stabilize" four times, without much effect, at least compared to the effect I expected it to have. Perhaps I just didn't repeat it emphatically enough, will try again in future. I felt a huge sensation of energy and heat flow through my body when I became lucid, and it was very pleasurable. The next part is a bit hazy, I'm kind of jumping around a house, through corridors, checking out rooms, wondering if I'm actually dreaming and keep RCing, worried that I'll hurt myself by flying or something. Almost walk in on my mom in the bathroom but she yells at me [weird but silly], I can't really think of what I want to do, not incredible lucidity or vividness, so I think "oh what the hell, I'll have sex" [since men can always think of that in any situation], so I enter a bathroom, big and plain with shower and big jacuzzi bathtub, ready for sex, and a gay guy is standing in there, and when I walk in he pulls down his pants and bends over, but thankfully his body is kind of plasticy and not incredibly realistic. At first I'm like "meh, it's just a dream, just want to test realness" but don't because.. well.. I'd rather have sex with a gorgeous woman! So I tell him that I want to have sex with the most beautiful woman, somebody I don't know, and he says fine and leaves the room, so I imagine the sexiest woman I can think of and she walks in the room. I must've put too much attention on the woman because when she came in I was viewing it in 3rd person, lucidity wavering but I've never experienced that so I didn't think to stabilize. So she kind of turned plastic-ish and kind of became a doll and the dream faded away

So I woke up from the dream, was about to record it in my DJ but first did a RC just for the hell of itand the nose pinch RC did to for me AGAIN! Awesome, glad I've been practicing that one in RL. False awaking FTW. So I'm lucid in my room, and decide to leave, walk out and I'm in a house different from where my room is, long hallway with windows, so I open the window and think about summoning a bow or sword to act out some Zelda situations [since my alarm is Zelda game boy tunes], but decide I don't really want to do that and fly out of the window to the ground, woods on both sides, dark sky like just after sunset, and a lake infront of me. As I was flying I tried to change the dream scene so I started to spin with my arms out and thought about going to a strip club to try the sex thing again, and closed my eyes, but amazing enough even though my eyes were closed, I guess my "dream eye"[?] wasn't closed with enough resolution and I could still see the scene around me, and the technique failed. So I'm on the ground and remember my intention/ goal to morph into an aquatic creature. So first I attempt running on water, and go across a small section of the lake, and it works, though I'm submerged up past my knees rather than on top, and my legs are burning from running/pedalling so fast. But still cool. So I'm on the other side, and a car drives into the water from around the bend, like on a highway completely natural, and I see the huge headlights under the water, and decide to dive in to get in the car and see what that's like, then try to morph, but at this time my ALARM goes off and I wake up

So yeah, those are my lucids! Not incredibly vivid, but I'm very excited about them anyways. The first one probably lasted five to ten minutes, and the second one only about three minutes due to the alarm.

Notes- In the lucid, my dream body felt SOOO natural it was great! I felt light, and fully in control, I had to keep questioning whether flying was safe since it felt so very real. "can I really do this, will I hurt myself?" The spinning dream scene change technique didn't work, but I can understand how it would, and will try again will definite success the next lucid dream I have. Also, I remember at some point during the first LD a fragment I forgot, I was going to have an orgasm but stopped the sex/activity or whatever was happening, since I remember that most people wake up and I wanted to test other things first. I will remember to try the whole way through[lol] another time to see what the circumstances are for myself, since LaBerge claims it doesn't happen with all people and I don't think it will for me since the lucidity at that point remained very vivid.

I found it difficult to create a new dream scene, and kept getting distracted by thinking "what do I want to do?" I opted against earth bending and sex for the majority of the lucid time because I didn't want to begin a fight unintentionally and turn it into a nightmare, didn't want sex because I didn't want to wake myself up, and didn't try to sit and close my eyes to dream- meditate for the same reason.

I think this was a result of a compulsion/urgency to control the LD because of a fear/ desire not to lose it and forget it, even though in the LD I experienced no loss of control, completely vividness, aside from when I was trying to control it and change things! Though I probably didn't lose my lucidity because I was so single minded on not losing it, but that was also most likely the cause of the bland lack of occurances in the dream. I probably blocked off other potential story lines and experiences because of it, resulting in lots of open spaces and corridors and a lack of other DC's, mostly dark and greyish lighting and color tones.

I need to
A Catagorize more Dream Signs and re evaluate my dream goals, based off of interactions with dream characters for more variety, and also hold off on the sexual and potentially violent/advanced stuff until I'm more comfortable, lots of stuff left to test.

B Read about dream scene changing tactics and focus on visualizing myself stabilizing the dream via techniques like focusing on each individual sense, etc. Will try the "stabilize" thing more since it doesn't take much effort, didn't really lose anything by doing it.

Anyway, thanks for reading, I would really appreciate any advice. What you focus on for incredibly basic aspects of LD DC interaction goals, and simple environment testing things? Trying to control flight more carefully? Trying to start conversation with DC as a way to get a dream cookie? Experiment with time? Change the color of my shirt?

Thanks a ton in advance!

★★

screwed up time dilation again

I became lucid randomly in my house. It was pretty vivid. Decided to try time dilation. I put my hand on a table and stared at it. I began counting my fingers instead of staying focused. I counted 5 fingers, then 6, and finally 8. It was destabilizing, then i remembered the imagine the seconds as units of time stretching out. Tried that but i completely lost the dream.

My first one was a reality check, and that's all it was. 10 seconds of looking and counting my fingers, which I had 4. Then it ended. I might be getting there.
The next was me at a farm, and I think that I was a puppy. Me, and a few other puppies/kittens were trying to escape from multiple houses that were in a farm area. They all escaped as humans in a car, but one guy who was trying to capture us built something in the pool that would shoot lasers at them. He then captured me with this giant claw thing. I was saved after 5 minutes by some lifeguards, and I ran off to the mall. I then saw my best friend. :D We joined up and we started walking around the mall. My ex best friend walked into the mall carrying a pouch of stuff that we carry around at work. It's weird because she doesn't even work where I work, and you can only apply in May, since it is a summer job. She dragged me off to leave my other friend, and we went to look at movies. Her friend joined up and we were deciding on which movie to see. I wanted to see Grown Ups (or whatever it is with Adam Sandler etc) or A-Team. My ex best friend and her friend started like.. screaming about which movie we will watch. In real life, when we'd be eating food in the guidance center, they would be too loud, and kick everyone out. So, in this dream, the security chicks came and brought us to the desk, which was not far. They told my friend to sign her name, and write down some number. She signed my name, the letters were a bit blurry, but it was my name. Her name looks nothing like mine. I asked her what she was doing and she said just go along with it. When they asked me to put the number down, (I can''t remember what it was called) I had no idea what they were talking about, and I started crying because I was being pressured into writing my EX best friends name, which I didn't even want to, and people thought I was stupid for not knowing what the word was. A lady behind us said that she felt sorry for me. A nicer security lady came up to me, and changed the numbers to questions that read; Where to minors go when they commit a crime, and When lesbians go through a scanner, does it go beep beep beeeeep beeeeeep (Or something, it was very blurry near the end of the sentence) I answered them, and I was told to sign my name. My dream mind kept thinking to sign my name and tell them that my ex best friend signed my name, and I even have my license to prove it's me. I was about to sign when I woke up. ): Before going to sleep, I chanted: A dream character will tell me to do a RC and I will do it. I guess it was in the first dream that happened. >_< Hopefully I get an LD son, my friend said they're awesome.

Original dream dated May 9, 2008:

I had several dreams, probably around 4, all of them related by the fact that the characters in the dreams all passed through the same downtown bus station. The buses all went to different, and distant, destinations, but each main character (or busload of people) witnessed four disembodied hands that popped into existence and flew around like birds. This scared them, because they knew it didn't "belong" in their world, although they weren't all sure why. It was evidence of some interdimensional leak.


One busload had orphans on it, the dream followed them but I can't remember much, beyond that they were also anthropomorphic puppy children and I think there were three of them. One dream dealt with a superhero who had a vision of being a little boy trapped in the closet of a burning building - the little boy himself had been prescient, and had seen this coming and been unable to prevent it despite telling his mother about it minutes beforehand. His parents had been fighting, he had left the stove on, it exploded somehow, killing his father and starting a massive fire, and he hid in the closet and locked the door. His mother was pounding on it, trying to get him out. He escaped by crawling down a chute into the basement. There were gremlin/rat things in the basement that had orchestrated this whole thing, all to get him on their side, so they could steal a magical hat that his sister had - but he only had a sister in an alternate world. They successfully stole the hat while he distracted her, but I'm not sure what happened after that.