The Jamie voice seemed to not like my last post. Not sure why. I just go through recall dry spells from time to time. I'm still trying. Jamie 1 Just a vague dream. There was a McDonald's attached to a Wal Mart. Jamie was working inside but seemed to be avoiding me. I left but went through the drive through for some reason. Jamie 2 Jamie was walking around a bunch of screens displaying lesbian porn. She was trying hard not to look. But couldn't help herself at moments. The struggle is real. Jamie 3 Jamie was standing by a white PC case Inspecting it. Not much. Our dreams seem to lack a certain affection lately. Maybe I'm just not recalling.
Jamie drive by? I scored a 2060 super off market place. Unfortunately I had to drive to bearspaw to get it. But for 140? Total steal. After I got home I drove around the block to see if the Punjabi restaurant was open. I was craving some butter chicken but it was closed. So I went home. As I shut off the car I noticed a black SUV came around the corner and some dark hair. I got out immediately to see if it was Jamie. The woman looked at me but gave no visible reaction. The Jamie voice said, " that looks kind of like me." I noticed the bangs were gone. The vehicle almost seemed to slow down for a second and then sped off. The Jamie voice said. " That was close.". Then later seemed to admit that it was her. Still not sure what to believe. If it was her let's go through my checklist. Could be clearly seen, ✅. Was intentional about at least being comfortable around being near me, ✅. I think that's it. Also I'm staying home this week to catch up on taxes. Jordan I saw Jordan the McDonald's franchise owner from coaldale. He was talking to me and my dad and then drove off. My dad mentioned that Jordan seemed religious. I said yes I know his family attend church. Jamie 1 Sex dream. Not giving details. Nice view! Jamie 2 Just that I was walking with her in a poorly lit hallway. Nothing else to recall. Short but sweet.
Wedding Just an audio dream. All I heard was a man saying, "... In sickness and in health..." Me and Jamie get married in a dream again? Jamie Just a flash of her working with me in my Dad's trade. She was putting a tape up high on a wall. That's it for the Jamie dreams. Wish it were more. Gross I seemed to be in the ancient past. I was avoiding a tribe of cannibal natives with red feathers in their hair. I walked by a half eaten dead body on a beach with large rocks. It smelled really bad and I threw up. McDonald's I got hired at a McDonald's and some lady manager that seemed to know me started yelling at me for no reason. I got pissed off and quit on the spot. McDonald's again I was hired at a McDonald's again. But I was working with younger people who were easy going.
Jamie 1 A flash of Jamie setting up a table for food. My name was at the head of the table. Seats were alphabetical. Mine was: A. You mean after all these years i finally made her A list? the whole setup was decorated like christmas. Jamie 2 I'm at the table now. Jamie brings me a card or something. I'm hearing the melody from a christmas song, "Oh rest ye merry..." or something. Or maybe it's the opening to that popular Trans-Siberian orchestra song. The one with that music video where the little girl almost looks like Jamie if she was that age... weird. Is she going to reach out by christmas??? well that would be something. Not counting on it though. Mcdonald's Me and my brother were somehow coerced to work a graveyard shift at a mcdonald's. Gie-Gie from my previous store was the manager. It was just me and my brother then disappeared. I was trying to get all the stock and change over done but I kept falling behind. Jamie again? I was in a city. A familiar woman kept walking by me. It felt like Jamie because she kept beaming at me. But she was east indian and I thought she was Mansi, a girl I use to work with at Mcdonald's years ago. she kept walking by and smiling at me. Dream shifts. I'm with her and we're having sex in a bathroom. She's on a sink. I keep shifting perspectives inside my body and outside, so half the time I think it's Mansi and her new husband...
Funny couple days. Day 1 i was making a supper. For some reason the Jamie voice likes to bug me while I'm trying to cook. " You're doing that wrong... That's too much!!! You cut those too big!" First of all I ask how she would even know what I am doing? She always answers that she can see it in her mind. I always say you're not here to eat it, so let me do it my way. Also the brake pads on my car are going so I'm not delivery driving until they are fixed. My dad has work for now. Jamie 1 A quick flash of Jamie standing over a stove, eating out of a pot. Apparently it's supposed to be what I made. She smiles at me while eating it. Jamie 2 A quick flash of her in a wheelchair. She's rolling towards me. Hm I hope this isn't a real thing. Next night: nothing. Yesterday, possible drive by when it was getting dark. I was talking to her voice outside and heard, " I really wanna see you." I heard a car slow down by me house, so I walked to see. It was super dark. A grey car drove by and in the passenger seat I saw a head turn to look at me. But it was so dark and fast I couldn't make the person out. The head turn was like her though. Like I said, I don't mind if she does this. Just please make sure I can clearly see her. I wanna see her too. It does help validate to me what I'm going through on this blog. So don't be sneaky or disguise herself. Jamie 3? I was in a gas station store, that had a McDonald's in it or something. A familiar woman went to the glass door. Her hair was dyed light purple. I thought it was Zoe from when I worked with Jamie, Z worked at the same place. The woman recognized me and she seemed to be holding back tears. Zoe was another "friend." From that time (not as close), who suddenly turned on me when I was going through my dark night of the soul. So I reacted in the dream as if it was Zoe. She started to say something but I cut her off with. " What, you're suddenly going to talk to me after 13 years? We were good friends and you dropped me without explanation, and I'm supposed to just accept you back?" The woman took a step back. She said, "I'm going to kill myself." And it sounded like Jamie's voice. And she turned and ran out the door. I was going to follow her and apologize, but I woke up. Yeah, I guess I'm going to have to be very careful with my words. I'm pretty sure it was Jamie in the dream. Unfortunately, the way I described Zoe also applies to her. I do acknowledge that Jamie at least, tried to explain. Just not very well. I woke up and realized I had fallen asleep and didn't finish my prayers. I had started and dosed off. The Jamie voice was there , but quiet. We eventually talked about it somewhat and agreed to finish my long list of prayers. I added to not let us be prisoners to the pain of our past. There's a line about love in Corinthians somewhere in the Bible that says something like, "Love keeps no records of wrongdoings." While what I said to Zoe in the dream applies to Jamie, and I do indeed feel that way sometimes. That is a worthy goal to strive for. It's almost humanly impossible to forget. That's why I'm going to rely on Jesus and shut my mouth if Jamie comes to me in person with something to say. Bull I was in the lobby of a hotel checking on my business cards. I noticed the display tray was emptied. So I went to get more cards. When I got back there was a menacing bull with big horns in my way. I made sure I wasn't carrying anything red, so that it wouldn't charge at me. Other small dreams involved something about a McDonald's franchise owner was meeting with a man who owned a bar franchise, or something.... Idk One dream seemed to involve the lady from Our of the box. Hey, they haven't called me in weeks... I'm to shy to call them now.
Posting a day late because I worked for our of the box in Didsbury for 12 hours moving a hoarder. One thing about going to Didsbury - I'm always keeping my eye out for white SUVs lol. The house I was doing was on an adjacent street to the one where Jamie drove past me in January, so my yellow dodge would be easy to see. At lunch break I had to give everyone a ride to the plaza nearby to get lunch. While moving garbage from the front and into the trunk. I noticed a white SUV parked a few houses down. I hadn't seen it there earlier. It had a tire on the back, with a white covering zipped halfway down. I couldn't remember if the one I seen Jamie in had a spare on the back or not. An odd thing I noticed is the driver's door was ajar. Didn't see anyone get in or out. Then it was gone when I was finished loading the trunk. Can't really say it was her or not just found it odd. Jamie 1 I was with Jamie by her vehicle. She seemed to be upset or complaining about something in my last entry. I was saying something like: Not everything I report about her head voice is going to be completely accurate. Which is true, we've already established that . Jamie 2 I was with Asuka and Jamie but my perception was way off on them. They both looked like people from the McDonald's I worked at in Lethbridge. Asuka looked like NAV. And Jamie looked like Victoria, the chubby girl my age that died from COVID. I remember making out with her and thinking it was odd I was seeing her like that . Rejected Dream I was applying at the coaldale McDonald's or something but the people didn't hire me. They were being really rude or something. Jamie 3 A dream of Jamie sitting in her car. She seemed to be talking to me or someone else. She was crying and said my name but I can't remember the line she said.
I was approached by this journalist to do an item on something, idk what exactly it was about, voice acting or something. I go upstairs to take a shower real quick and there's a whole group of people partying in the bathroom there. I don't care and shower regardless. Once I'm ready much later, we head into the city, which is Alkmaar for some reason despite me not living there, nor have I ever been there. We film a bit, but it feels unnatural, so the reporter gets these fake red dreads and attaches these to my hair in the front so it looks like I have more hair. We then go to the McDonald's for dinner and it's super busy there. Meanwhile the camera woman gets the plants out of there so we can film. She does this whole shot from streets away where she runs towards the McDonald's, puts the camera on the table, then interviews me. I can't even remember what it was about and it definitely wasn't a serious interview. The guy working there says the interviewer used to be her boss, I check her LinkedIn and she used to work at a hand washing service company. I think she got some B-roll afterwards, and we get into the Berlin metro and head home. In the metro, I access a locker that apparently everyone in my art school can access, and I get my journals out of there. As the metro arrives at the destination, I try to grab my stuff before the door closes again. A little kid brags that I was interviewed, but no one really cares and I wake up.
Handful of Jamie flashes. One where we are both in a car . I'm holding her hand while driving. Another flash she is just holding me and we both seem happy. Last flash was just a sex related one. Had a few non lucids without Jamie. 2 of them were McDonald's related. Dreamed I was working there again temporarily. Last flash I was in a courtroom where a lawyer was talking to a judge. They said something about Jamie so I was asking about how they knew her
First night: strange Just a brief flash of me floating in a living room and I'm also praying for Jamie. what? I'm in some room waiting for Jamie and she walks in holding hands with some guy that looks like me, only it's not and she's really smiling. Ok, so there are fake dream versions of me now? Next night: driving I'm in a car with my brother. He's driving. It's on some country roads. we come to a 4 way stop and on the side of the road is a deer and a dog. I keep saying to my brother, "Can I pet that Dawg?". He turns and... Suddenly I'm in a dream with Jamie and we are holding hands. At least I finally got a happy dream about Jamie! flash A flash of a dream where I am intimate with Jamie. It seems to be a replay of the one from days ago. but this tim it's in black and white. Last night: I had a long non lucid, but can't remember the details. something about being in a big building... I really have to invest in a notepad again. WTF I'm in the house where I live in Bowden. My brother is in the koitchen making something. I hear a knock on the front door. Some Filipina lady walks in and calls me by name. I have false memories of her commenting on TikTok or something. She's wearing a mcdonald's uniform. I have other false memories of a different filipina woman coming to my home. I tell the current girl that I don't work at mcdonald's and to please leave. She keeps saying she's in love with my, and her appearance has changed. She's wearing a loose shirt and thes tight white pants, the kind that don't leave much to the imagination. She squats down so I can see her curves. Her Boobs are falling out of her shirt. I try to tell her it's a mistake and I don't know her and I'm asking her to leave. (In my mind I don't want to be messing around with people because I believe Jamie is coming in, and I don't want ANY complications.) Upset Just a brief flash of me and another person Talking to Jamie. She seems defensive about something and raises her tone and pitch. I can't remember what was being said or the context. Flash Something about Jamie telling me something. But it's so brief that I can't even comprehend a word she was saying.
First night I just had dreams that Jamie found a girlfriend. I always knew she liked both, not going to judge.I have some borderline traits myself, being unsure of your sexuality is a given. I did find these dreams a little distressing. In these dreams it seems I am watching them from a distance, and not a participant. Next night. another flash of Jamie being with a girl, but this time I can see them having sex... Honestly I don't know why I dream these things and sometimes loathe the connection. (When she moved in 2011, I first had a dream she was sleeping with some guy but wasn't feeling it. Then I dreamed she was sleeping with a woman, a few days later she switched her orientation status on FB. You gotta realize I'm not trying to spy, these things just come to me and sometimes I wish they wouldn't) Captured Just a flash of me and Jamie in a western setting. Some big guy in a cowboy hat captured us and we are ties and gagged by a fence. Jamie looks my way in distress. Last night Looking I was in a crowd at night time and noticed Jamie in the crowd looking at me. Silence I get a job at a newly opened seafood restaurant. I'm in orientation with a group of people. Jamie is in the group, as well as some other pretty girl with crazy braids. Jamie doesn't look at me at all, but keeps lingering by. I'm drinking a soda pop from a glass bottle. The top somehow breaks. I go to the sink area to clean it up. Jamie follows me, or is doing something in the same area. She's really silent, but lingering by. I find the silence really uncomfortable as I try to clean up the glass. No way I'm walking outside early morning. I'm upset. In my dream memories Jamie had told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I was too, "Emotionally immature." I go by a mcdonald's but it's not open in the plaza. I see my brother wandering into Tim Horton's. and decide to follow him in. First of all, I'm just going to assume that something is wrong in the dreams. (She's been attacked by dream demons constantly especially since "The Boyfriend." dream). Second. I admit: I have severe emotional problems, they have gotten a lot better since older. I was mentally and emotionally abused and abandoned by my dad specifically. The effects of that abuse have stuck with me my entire life. I know Jamie had similar problems, that she briefly told me about herself. So, I always saw that as an opportunity to relate to one another and be there for one another. Things DO get easier with age. and I've been doing my best to work on that. I'm scared too, if Jamie were to come into my life again. There is a lot of emotional trauma around one another, and how we handled things in the past to work through. It wouldn't be easy, it might be hard. We are going to make mistakes. But I want to do it, and I want to become better and be better this time.
2 Jamie dreams: One where i couldn't find her and i was really upset. Second one was just she was standing in front of me. That's all i remember. Manager: I was somewhere and ran into the mcdonald's manager from Canmore, I asked if they were sending employees from elsewhere this summer and If I could get into that program? He just laughed and didn't really give an answer. Backrooms: I was briefly in an are that looked like the backrooms. There were vague monsters hanging about.
2 dreams last night. Jamie calling out to me saying, "I miss you.". This dream seemed to happen twice in a row. Had one other dream about McDonald's. There was another new burger coming out. I asked managers how to make it and they said,"Figure it out yourself." Rudely. I just started arguing with them...
recall was terrible as usual this week. Jamie 1 Just a flash of Jamie crying really hard. Like face in hands. Been there... The night before she left, ouch. Hope my dreams aren't too psychic about this and hope she's okay. I also hope I didn't cause that somehow... Jamie 2 Can't remember what happened just that her presence was there. Road I just remember being lost on a road, I hitched a ride from a lady driving a bus. I said we had to pick up my backpack or something, and suddenly we were in a city looking for it. Scary Dreamed that a manager pulled a gun on me at work when i didn't want to do what he said. I ran out screaming and went to another place from the same franchise. I wanted to get him fired. Why didn't I just call the police. Netflix commendation: Horse Girl. If Jamie reads these, keep sending good vibes. I appreciate them.
I don't have a lot of time to journal so here goes. Jamie dreams I was dosing off while watching The Equalizer 2. In the dream Jamie was staring at a computer screen intently thinking about me, not sure if she was reading or typing something. Somehow my mind made this dream a part of the movie I was watching. In a dream later in the week, don't remember the setting, Just that jamie was around but being quiet and not looking at me. Well, I hope we have some better dreams this week. Can never go wrong with dreams hugs!!! ok Dream about some girl from work. she was calling me a pervert or something. IWL throughout the week I made a point to avoid her or even looking her way just in case this dream has some truth. There are other non lucids that I can't really recall right now...
Gonna try to journal daily for a bit maybe. Keep my motivation up. Dream 1 Walking around in a Building with jamie. Dream was very vague. Just a couple seconds of walking with her. Dream 2 At mcdonald's with the store manager that left. She made me lean till. Had to deal with this horrible woman customer. Saw her go outside angry, but outside was in a grassy field with trees. Dream 3 Jesus is with me and Jamie on the hill. Me and Jamie are hugging in reconciliation. Jesus is smiling at us. Don't celebrate yet, I have yet to hear from her. Dream 4 I'm at home but everything is out of place. I'm with my dog, when I notice and exact living replica of my dog. I pay attention to one dog and the other whines for attention. I realize this sucks. I have to spend twice the food, give double the attention and everything. I wonder if this will ever end when I wake up.
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