Recent DJ Posts

I went to a sangha and sat down to meditate. My Dad joined me but couldn't tolerate it very long, he quickly got up to wait in the car. After he left I continued sitting. I think there was another task where I was picking up objects and placing them, so I placed a little pink temple on a wooden chair along with a lot of other little bundles of sticks then set it on fire. Things burned easily enough, the test was if the entire temple and chair burned I knew I was ready to let go. It took a couple minutes but it did, indeed, burn. Then, after I was really starting to find some peace, my dad came back in and asked if I was ready to go yet.

My parents aren't helpful in real life, how could they help in the dream? No wonder I've never been able to meditate while living with them.

This is copied from my journal:
I charge towards him and smash the thing he holds in his hands. Gunfight. Police arresterd by the army. Police trying to arrest somebody and being shot at by the guilty people.

That's it..

WBTB After Six Hours
Hmmmm. I remember ...

Fragment 1
Waiting in a church parking lot for something to happen, like for church to start. There was a lot more going on, but that's pretty much all I can really remember. I think I may have been moving along the ground which sort of signified how close I was getting to church starting. And there were cars and people going by and I was kinda waiting for mom. Huh.

Fragment 2
Some kind of Mega Man story... uh the most memorable part was that at the end, the promising scientist kid turned out to be on his way to becoming another Dr Wily, along with his asian scientist wifey. Like, that was a huge plot twist on top of everything earlier that had happened. Which I can't remember. So ha. I mean bleh. BLEH.
It feels like my recall is getting worse, not better... xD but maybe I'm just impatient!

Morning
uhhh my WBTB attempt was totally unfruitful. maybe because it's finally Spring Break and I just finished that end-of-the-8-week-class essay and my brain knows I can relax and recuperate somewhat. BUT IT IS WRONG. THIS IS NO TIME TO REST.

An Actual Dream Whaaaat
A kid from Paranatural who will remain unnamed is sitting in a classroom with about three others. My mom and I are sitting in chairs in the other room, and then I walk over to the doorway of the classroom. I remember this part a bit better because I was actually emotionally invested to some degree, which is SOMETHING. THAT IS SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT.

Anyway I was leaning against the doorway trying to be all casual and I was like "What's up, Dude'sName?" and he was kinda like, wondering what I wanted, and then I was like "Do you want to ... come talk?" like I was asking him out on a date or something. I was really trying to play it cool and it was super difficult... xD The girl sitting next to him was kinda laughing at me but whatever. HE DID COME TALK. With my mom and I. Which actually wasn't awkward because I view my mom as a cool buddy and not a ninja lurking in the shadows for her chance to embarrass me and ruin my entire life forever. I don't remember what we talked about though. I think I was just really satisfied that I'd managed to extract him from the classroom and get him over here with me. good times ;3

Fragment 3
uhhh this one had a slightly darker mood because I'm pretty sure ... well okay, first it was set in a filing room sort of thing that was pretty dark. And there was some kinda bad guy leader person, and he had this subordinate that he was trying to get to murder everyone in the filing room. I don't remember being too concerned by that though, so I guess it was more like a movie than a life-and-death struggle scenario.

Anyway there was MORE INTRIGUE GOING ON that I can't remember. just, y'know. Know that it was really cool and stuff. Just so interesting. SIGH.

If there were any other dreams they got swallowed up, even though I slept like 10 freaking hours. It was so annoying, I sort of imagined that morning would be when I would just be surfing in and out of dreams but it doesn't make a difference surfing in and out of dreams if your BRAIN DOESNT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I seriously remember that when I woke up for my WBTB my brain was simultaneously going "I HAD NO DREAMS AT ALL" and still sort of having flashbacks to the dreams I'd just had. Make up your MIND.

I'm going to get back my consciousness, the consciousness that let me realize the difference between waking and sleeping. I'm going to figure out where it went and drag it back into the open spaces of my mind. It's probably behind a mental dishwasher somewhere. Frick.

One dream:

Jim and Andy ("According to Jim") are playing a round of beer pong. While Jim is drinking wine (actually Goon) from cups, Andy drinks beer from cans. Jim hasn't hit a single can yet, while Andy has only three left. Jim complains about Andy cheating, since some of his cans are closed and he can't put the ball inside.

One fragment:

An ex-colleague of mine wants to visit me and calls while she is on the way to my house. False Awakening: I'm in some kind of office and wonder why my ex-colleague hasn't arrived yet. I call her, she picks up and says in a sleepy voice: "Hello?" I immediately hang up and think that I just woke her and that she is not coming to my place, since it was just a dream before. She calls back but I don't pick up. I decide to send her a text later, explaining what happened.

had dreams about supply and demand

First I'd like to say that I am a very light sleeper and have always had issues with falling and staying asleep. This is good and bad. It is good because it is easy for me to wake up after a dream. However, it is bad because it is difficult to fall back to sleep after I have jotted down a few notes. It is also very difficult to nap, unless I am exhausted. This creates an issue for me when I am recording my normal dreams. So, I'm going to take the pressure off myself and not worry so much about recording all of my normal dreams. I'm going to put most of my focus on questioning reality, doing regular reality checks, and using MILD before I fall asleep.

Also, I am going to focus on a goal for my next LD. In the past I have issue with getting side tracked by sex, which always wakes me up. So, if I have a well defined goal I hope not to be so easily side tracked.

Goal: To fly into space at supersonic speed; look at the Earth from orbit; to then fly to the moon and explore (and steal the American Flag).

3/10/14

Awake at 7:20 am

Brushed teeth, went to the bathroom, hugged husband goodbye.

A little afraid to fall back to sleep and have a FA. I remind myself I need the sleep and this is the way I can achieve my lucid dream.

I visualize my dream plan and pray to God I have a lucid dream and fly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

8:05 am MILD

I had a dream that I had a FA, but was scared and "woke up" but really it was another FA.

I went out my living room door, reminding myself that I'm going to try to fly. Some sort of cart in the hallway. Then I go outside to a playground/baseball field. I attempt flying many times with little success, so I use the things around to push myself up. Then finally, I'm dog paddling and swimming high in the air! I land and remind myself I need to stabilize the dream. So I rub my hands together. Then flew over to a dream character. There were three male dream characters. This one in particular looked like a past high school classmate of mine with brown hair and kind of a jock. I remembered the task of the month and asked him, "What's my middle name?" He replied, "Windy," took my hands and flew with me in the sky. (I got the task of the month wrong! Ha. I'm supposed to ask what his middle name is!)

At one point I travel down the sidewalks. With each step I float a little down the sidewalk. There are skaters on the sidewalk, one a young girl. I wonder if people who fly in dreams have the same stigma as people who skate in waking life.

I go back to my apartment, remembering that I need to wake up. I struggle to. At one point, my grandma enters the dream. I tell her I need to wake up. I go back to my bed and reach for my dream journal to try to write my dream down, but it doesn't work, I just barely write scribbles. Somehow, I'm hoping that in waking life I'm also writing things down, it never occurs to me in my FA that what I do in the FA is not affecting the waking world. It's 1 pm in my dream, I need to get up. Then, I reach over for hand lotion on my side table (though, in real life, this hand lotion is out in the living room), squirt some on my fingers and rub it on my tongue to try to wake myself up. It works, I'm repulsed by the taste and wake up.

Dramatic and passionate music sung by a man throughout the dream. A lot of "ooh, ooh, ooh" vocals.

Finished writing my dream down at 8:18 am.

In the first dream I was with my family in some place which seemed like a warehouse. I was captured by these alien type things that looks like small sling cones with a whitish goo. Every time they caught me they would torture me with different methods. In one torture session they put one of the slimy things right by face when I was in a barrel.

In another dream I need to take a dump so I went to As room and sat at his desk. He was pretending to do homework but was actually playing a game of dota1. Afterwards I looked out the window and saw that my car was outside the gate and that the hood was open. I went outside and found that my brother was busy doing something there. It was raining softly. After talking a bit he moved my car which had a trailer with dustbins back inside and the dream ended.

In the third dream i was with my mom and we were at the shops or something. Something happened there that upset her. We went back to her car and as she tried to get in She fell or hurt herself. I picked her up and helped her back into the seat. We drove back to her flat where my old maid from years ago, made us food. We thanked her many times and ate in silence.

Note: the long dream about me protecting someone happened again tonight for the third time in a row but I'm still having trouble fully recalling it.

3.10.14 Monday

Last night, bed at 9pm - 4:50am

DR 11:30pm
My boss is resigning. I'm sad and freeked out, because he is so cool. I'm thinking who will replace him. Then I'm reading an email from him telling me same thing.

DR 4:50am
I'm counting money. I have a lot. Tens of thousands. Taking a private jet home to europe. Sitting in a comfy chair, someone else is with me on the plane.

At home in europe, we are counting another money with my mom. We are in a nice big bright house. She tells me to close the shades so people don't see. Money are in bundles of thousands. And mom is bringing them from other places too.

I'm thinking which route of commercial airliner I'll take back to US, so I go through some place I have not been through yet.

1. [Lucid]
//I'm laying on a bed, the girl that was in my previous dream was on her knees to my left, I thought to myself lets fly, but then realize that well theirs a girl in here right next to me so I said to her "hey, wanna have sex?" she seemed ok with this//...I wake up.

----------------

Fragments:
1. Me tap dancing like a pro in a dance studio, all the other people where dancing to other stuff.
2. A girl that is so beautiful that when you look at other girls they look disgusting.
3. In an elevator when this guy places a wind up device onto the wall, he then winds the device which in turn makes the elevator go up or down.
4. Watching this video that is meant to be a nightmare, it shows the girl I love falling in love with someone else, this didn't feel good at all.
5. Playing around with the panel on my PC tower then randomly a bald black guy sits up from under a white blanket and grabs my leg.

3/10/2014 – 3:45 am: Dream 1 I am in a school. I am in a classroom with a group of people. I know 2 of the people: one is Kevin Bacon (the actor) the other is a Jim G. guy I went to high school with but he actually looks like Matthew Lillard (the actor). At one point the teacher (an attractive older woman) asks me to come up to the board to solve a math problem. On the board is a rectangle, there are 3 numbers on the left side and 3 on the right. I have no idea how to solve the problem and I state this to the teacher. I feel angry and embarrassed. At this point I remember that Kevin Bacon and the teacher are having an affair. I recall seeing them sneaking out of a warehouse together. Kevin walks up to me and asks me if I have a gun. I reply, “Yes. A 38 caliber hand gun.” He then tells me to “Have the principal run my phone.” I wake up.

Dream 2 Fragment: I am outside, standing on the side of a road. There are natural stone steps near me. There are memorial flowers and candles on the steps. I am with some old men who I know are war veterans, some have been wounded. An old fashion car pulls up and more older guys get out. I don’t remember any more.

Dream 3 Fragment: I am in a school with a pretty Indian girl. We are trying to get to class. Her 4 brothers walk up to us. The oldest, and largest of the 3, is yelling at her because she is walking with me. The brothers leave and we walk to a classroom which is full of large stuffed chairs. I don’t remember any more.

I’m having the same issue I’ve always had with recording my dreams. I have issues falling back to sleep after taking notes. This leaves me feeling very tired during the day. Plus, last night I woke my wife up by scribbling in my notebook. I’m going to do my best to record my normal dreams, but just don’t know if I can lose too much sleep.

23:30 - two beers and go to bed. Can't sleep, because it's too warm in the room. I think I asleep at 00:15.

5:30 - wake up, record two fragments and one dream a go find my Alpha - GPC box. I take one pill 300mg. I go for breakfast, eat pork wrap, a piece of cake and two glasses of milk. I read advenced lucid dreaming and he recommend to take 1200mg alphaGPC dose.

6:30 - taking another three pills alpha - gpc and just lay on the bed.

7:30 - I'm sleepy and without energy, I sit up and try to do mild for 10 minutes. It's not focused mild and my vizualization is not good but at least something. Then I asleep.

8:30
LD Exploring the hole
I'm on the pond with my father. I see some guy bakes a lots of pastries. I go near to his cottage. He's washing his hands. I steal some bread rolls. Try to eat it. It tastes good. Me and my father see fishermans near by. We go there and I ask if they have a permission. No, they answer. We're fishing here for an year. I'm pissed that they are stealing my fish. One creepy guy is laghting at me and ask what should he do with the fresh catched fish? This can't be true!!! I tell to myself. I decide to do RC with my phone. First attempt the clock doesn't change but when I try it few times, it changes 20 minutes up. Oh great, I'm dreaming. I fly above the pond. I try to land on the water surface and I believe tak it's is kinda frozen, so I could water-walking. It works. I go to the meadow. I see to girls pass by, but I do not pay attention to them. I wanna try teleport to the wonderland! My plan is to summon big wardrobe like from narnia and use it like a teleportation device. Firstly I do stabilization technique - I rub against a tree. Then I try to summon wardrobe behind my back. When I turn around, I see it. It's wooden and it doesn't look like a wardrobe, but it has doors. I enter in. On the wall across the small room, there is a hole in the wall. I try to crawl in, but then it became to be too close for my body. I turn my head away and try to change it. I hear the sound of changing the hole. It wider now. It suddenly goes down to to earth. It's dirty, but it's not mud. I see a little light down there. I decided to slide down. When I'm sliding, I ask my self if I feel fear of small places and that immediately wakes me up. I try to deild but without any success.

10:00 - wake up and a few non lucid dreams recalled

00:00 Monday 2014-03-010 Competition #17 night #3 insomnia sucks and the paradox of intent

04:22

F1 entered and followed a snowy path
F2 at a drive through window with Arnold Schwarzenegger
F3 in a very tall steep roller derby with son and our cat kept falling down to the middle of the rink.
F4 pressing buttons and flipping switches on a bottle of shampoo with women around to enable something with a cat
F5 outdoor picnic with the D family.

Couldn't get back to sleep

06:00 up to kitchen for snack and reviewing why I'm not sleeping.
Held purring cat for a while, scratched its head.
Sit in rocking chair for a while.

06:30-ish back to bed.

Decide to hell with it, I had basically no problems sleeping in this bright noisy room before lucid dreaming practice. I take out the earplugs, take off the sleep mask, and decide to let whatever will happen, happen, including just lying there for another couple of hours, not trying to do anything at all.

And of course I fall asleep in about 5 minutes . The paradox of intent.


08:14

1) I'm trying to control a squirming annoyed infant in my arms. It's dark. I bring its face to mine and sort of kiss/suck its tiny (sort of doll-sized) nose and it calms down and it looks into my eyes and gives a cute little baby laugh. I do this a few more times. Face actually sort of creepy and doll-like.

2) A group of people are gathering around in a living room to start a reading, they ask what we've been reading, my wife jumps in and answers for me, we start reading out loud but there's a lot of noise coming from somewhere, I walk into the room to follow the noise and find it and it turns out it's coming from a two-way baby monitor. I walk back into the house as I "know" the parent with the baby is in a bedroom somewhere, I think the parent is annoyed at the noise of our reading and is making noise to annoy us in return, I find the bedroom where there is sound but I do not go in. I return back and am walking by doors, one is cracked open a bit with light and I think that is my friend MR's room, he seems to be stirring / getting up. I'm walking in a narrow aisle between a bunch of single / cot beds.

3) Documentary: The Man Who First Discovered Gold in Alaska. A grizzled distinguished older man with a grey and black streaked beard is standing outside his restaurant talking to the camera crew. He's telling the story of how he was the first person to find gold in Alaska. (At this point: I was then seeing his memories through his eyes). The very first time he panned for gold he found enough right away to buy himself dinner. I see gold flakes under flowing water, and some coins. He wrote messages on paper and folded them up and put them under a stone. I watch as hands fold up a paper and put several like it underneath a stone. It's easy to see the paper I think it's not very secure there.

09:00 up for the day.
09:45 at gym, light weights, some bike, light quick swim, sauna

I was in an elevator. The elevator could take you to places as long as you put in the correct number codes. I was holding a piece of scrap paper and there were numbers at the right bottom corner. I entered the code somehow. The elevator started moving left and right like it's not sure where it's going. I ended up on a floor with people in business suits. They went in as I got out. I asked the person in charge there if I'm at the right place as I pointed at my number code. She said not if I want to end up in hell or something I forgot.

I was walking around in an amusement park with my friends. I stopped in front of a glass window. Behind it was a display of somethings vintage. There was a trunk cut off from a car, a make up storage extracted from the trunk, and something else. There was an explanation displayed but I couldn't remember what it said. I walked further along and ended up at a beach. There was a huge sign on two poles that said "Beach" or something. I was with PW and wanted to kiss her. I was thinking up of ways to do it. I could hold her hands and reach up. I could reach for her face. I then realized that she was impossibly tall and I couldn't reach her.

My friends (3) and I were high up on the outside of a building. We were right by the fence. One of my friend got her phone out and wanted to take a picture of us. They all got their faces in the frame but I couldn't. So I pushed myself off the fence a little to get myself in the frame. I can't believe that I didn't care about the height.

I was looking through sport bras. I wanted to try them on. There were no indicated sizes so I put the bras over chest to see if they could fit.

1am
I don't think I was myself. I may have been some kind of scientist. I was with others but don't recall who. We stopped at a spring of water. I had the sense this was not the first water spring we stopped at. This one had been heavily built around and looked like an indoor swimming pool only smaller. My first reaction was that we would not stay because the water looked bad to drink. It was white and more like milk than water due to all the minerals. Who would want to drink this? However I encouraged one of the others to try it - perhaps an assistant or student. He reported that actually it tasted good so I tasted it too. It did taste kind of like milkey water, not bad. I remember having some kind of a vision of some shelter or bunker and I think it was part of this dream somehow but I don't recall how. It seemed like a small room made of concrete?

Another fragment: For a banquet of sort, a collage or painting of the names of the attendees had been prepared but somehow it had gone wrong and the names all overlapped in such a way that only one naw was legible. I don't recall that name.

3am
So it was nighttime and I was going in the dark through my kids drawers in their dressers looking for something. At one point my younger son's dresser's lowest drawer was almost empty except for a few items, one of which felt wet like maybe a wet swimsuit was in there - but in this dream I did not bother taking it out, but left it in there, just noticing it was there. Then when I later in same dream searched the same drawer again it was filled with my older son's homework instead. I extracted two pieces but when I went to a room with more light, I discovered that one of the two sheets I was holding was actualy a homework that still needed to be done, but it just had empty circles on the page and was obviously just one part of the homework, the instructions presumably still somewhere in that drawer. How was I going to find them, in the dark, in a drawer full of papers, not knowing what I was looking for? I went back to searching that drawer. At one point my older son woke up enough to realize there was an intruder in his room, and he grabbed my arm, without knowing it was me. I tried to say "it's me: Mom" but I could not speak, was like paralyzed or frozen. In hindsight, it is odd because it was my older son, but in the bed where my younger son sleeps in in real life.

Another fragment: There was some sort of contraption in my sons' room. I think it started as an alarm clock early in the dream and became a water fountain later, although it was complicated enough so maybe it was both of those and maybe more. It was broken. At first it was playing music and I could not turn it off. Then there were sharp needles sticking out of it, and one of the needles got into my fingertip and it hurt and I had to pull it out, and the machine had many more needles like it. Then it was a water fountain, but my younger son had to climb onto it in some complex way to get water. It was definitely very broken whatever it was, and not safe. And yet my dream self did not remove it from the children's room. I knew how much the kids liked it. So I tried to fix it. Then I wondered whether the boys could live with it the way it was. And only finally did I wonder whether I could get a new unbroken one to replace it. At some point in this dream I was trying to reach this contraption - I think it was when it was playing music too loud in the middle of the night - but I could not move, I was stuck/paralyzed just standig there in midst ride, reaching toward it but unable to get closer. I do not know how I got unstuck, but I don't think this was the end of this dream.

6:30am
I was with my husband near our kitchen. He had just brewed some tea. I told him "yesterday, our older son asked how do mommies and daddies make babies?" My husband's angry reaction "And you told him that both daddy and you need to be present to answer this question!" Me "I wish I had! But when I get such a question I either freeze like a deer in the headlights or I talk before I think." My husband "where is my tea? I was holding it when you started telling me about this, and now I don't know where it is." So we started searching for his tea.