Recent DJ Posts

Created Tuesday 21 July 2020

What a relief. Thought I was on another dry-spell.

Spoiler for Kinda a long read:

Scrap Group 1
In a swamp during a clear day. A temporary structure made of steel frames and scaffolding was set up. I was part of a security team sent to guard the area from threats. At one point, my cousin Naomi stops by to talk with me. We spoke of the presidential election and finance. Later, a horde of deformed mindless Titans (as per Attack on Titan) appeared out of nowhere. I used superpowers to blast them. However, a few slipped by, doling out casualties before I could deal with them. Much later on, a train fell out of the sky, and plowed right into the dirt. The other guards and I hurried to rescue any living passengers. Most people were surprisingly in one piece. That is, besides anyone in the cars most deeply buried in the ground, in which only the conductor survived by miraculous circumstances. I then 'remembered' my compiling a list of the names of everyone that was in that train some days before this accident happened. Figured I'd unwittingly taken part in a conspiracy to have one of the victims killed off. I felt really guilty and ashamed for this. The other guards tried reassuring me I wasn't to blame. Then, cut to a scene from Fullmetal Alchemist. Something about Colonel Mustang preparing to ascend to a much higher position within the government.

Spectator mode. A man was going to a train station located deep in a swamp. Suddenly, a blue gorgon (the kind with a snake tail instead of legs) rises from the fountain. She goads the terrified man into getting closer. The guy's soon wrapped in her coils, and is swallowed whole.

Dream 1 - Clear Aqueous Golem LD - Part 1

The visuals were clear. FA on the bed of an unknown home, daylight seeping through the windows. There were very few walls, or even rooms, revealing the structure's surprising width. Distinctly, almost every table and similar furniture in the area had at least one small vase of purple flowers on each of their surfaces. Various different views could be seen out of each windows. On one side, there was a cityscape. Out another was swampland. And out from another, the colorful tents of an amusement park could be seen in the horizon. Several unseen figures could be heard chatting in another room.

It didn't take long for me to get aware. I walked out the bed, past a living room, and to a kitchen in the far end. Had a bit of trouble moving around at first, but I got used to it. I approached the largest window there, which had inexplicably been covered in blinds. False memories led me to believe there was a beach outside. I opened up the blinds, expecting to find as much. Instead, I found a stream within a grassy slope, mangroves growing on the other side, and
urban buildings visible several blocks behind that. Despite how bright it was, there was an overcast sky above.

I invoked more false memories to make me 'remember' my encountering a bizarre creature in the stream: a woman made of ectoplasm (let's call her, Clarity). Heedlessly, I jumped back-first into the water. Only when I was floating in it did I realize how murky this stream was; I couldn't see deeper than a meter. Still, it was at least refreshingly cool.

Not long after, I sensed something viscous surrounding me. This soon rose as an odd, transparent, colorless sludge rippling against the stream. A head formed, mostly featureless, but feminine, much like a mannequin. Seems my conjuration worked. I didn't quite expect her to appear this way, though it wasn't an unpleasant surprise.

For the next minute, I thoroughly observed the ectoplasm composing Clarity, squeezing and rubbing it between my fingers. In addition to being very gooey, it was quite cold. Yet, it quickly softened up and evaporated in one's hands. This was all unusually... soothing.

Concurrently, I thanked the odd woman for showing up in my dream. I spoke about some big plans I had for the dream. Can't remember what, only that I needed her help. Clarity spoke in compliance to my schemes, her voice deep and a bit echoey. I then levitated out of the water, though her slime weighed me down considerably.

Just then, the dream collapsed. Made a DEILD attempt after recalling all of the dream's details, but I dozed off.

Scrap Group 2
Short scene of being in an urban area during an overcast day. I walked over a small bridge. Talked with some supposed acquaintances as well.

Dream 2 - Clear Aqueous Golem LD - Part 2

Scene 1 - Titan Eating Construct
The visuals were mostly clear, and became more vivid over time. FA in the house mentioned above. Although I knew this wasn't reality, I only suspected I was in a daydream or dreamlet at the moment.

I darted around, seeing clear twilight skies outside the windows. It was then that I noticed a full moon. On a closer look, the moon was fractured, if not shattered,yet its parts retained cohesion. I glanced out another window to see yet another moon, also fragmented.

By now, I was sure I was dreaming. I had a lot more trouble getting out of bed than before. It took almost two minutes before I could float myself off from the mattress.

I quickly flew outside and back to the stream. There, I waited for Clarity to return. For the fun of it, I conjured a 6m titan, which flashed in from nothingness beside me. It slowly closed in. But, I wasn't afraid. At that moment, Clarity erupted from the water. She then enveloped the hideous titan. Seconds later, the monster was completely assimilated into her mass.

Now, the slime construct had a more definite shape. She appeared as a lithe woman made entirely of clear ectoplasm, standing about 20ft tall. As before, she was mostly featureless, not even having a face. Her liquid form also gave her trouble standing straight; her torso writhed and pivoted if she tried. Thus, she spent much of her time hunched over.

Noticing the moon above us, I opted to fly us both there. I grabbed her by the shoulders, and tried blasting off. But, I couldn't get much higher than about 10 meters. So, I dived back-first to the ground to teleport to the moon instead. Warp.

Scene 2 - Blind Moon Elevator Ride
The visuals were terrible. I only had part of my left eye open before I lost vision completely. Before I got blind, I noticed black text scrolling by on a white screen, and I could catch a glimpse of being in a cave. I felt around, worried I'd lost the dream. But, catching hold of Clarity' large, gooey hand reassured me a bit. So, I tasked her with leading me around until I regained my sight.

"Where are we?', I asked her. "What do you see?"

Clarity hesitated a moment before speaking. "We're... somewhere underground. A stone cave. I see... panels. There's blinking lights on them. And, there... an elevator! There's an elevator over there!"

The creature dragged me around. Soon, she crammed the both of us into a small space. Shortly after, I felt us being translated all over the place. If this was an elevator, it was capable of far more than just move up and down.

My vision soon returned. Although it was dark, the glow of blinking lights let me see enough. I was indeed in a lift of some kind. The goo construct was crouched beside me, her form occupying much of the space. I could hardly move, or even breathing. Soon, the dream collapsed.

At first there were only people that came and went within the walls of some facility. Then, the shot is that of a skinny young lad dressed in green uniform. I think he worked as a security guard. He stood behind a screen, overseeing the premises and calling out people when their turn was due. Those named would then have an appointment with a lady of short black hair.

I noticed they had trouble locating one of their clients, a mother with her child; the boy would be no older than 10. I can see her son outside the reception, waiting in line for his turn, but his mother is missing. I had a memory of watching her run to the restroom with tears in her eyes. They seemed like a humble little family. I cut back to the security officer. Her boss was impatient because her clients had not arrived.

The scene changed in the blink of an eye. I sat on a desk in a classroom. There's a whiteboard at the front wall. To my right was a good friend of mine (I misremembered whom exactly when I woke up). I scanned the area and spotted another one of my friends seated behind me.

"Well look who it is, M. N., doctor in medicine," I said with a smile. He knew I was messing with him. He chuckled, then got back to his things.

We three chat for a while until a teacher entered the view, a young lady, the same lady from the reception. She ordered to open our books to page 327 (might be around the 300 - 400 pages) then went ahead to write on the board.

Everyone pulled out their books except me. I couldn't find mine. I stared at the other desks and saw it had a hardcover with green all around. My desk was enclosed by bookshelves standing on my left and front sides. My eyes jumped from left to right of each shelf but every different book inside was green. I grabbed any random one, turned to the page, but it didn't match the one from my friends. I returned it anxiously. My vision was cloudy by now, I couldn't see nor think straight. The teacher was drawing a series of squares on the board, was this an art class? She paced around the room, verifying everyone had their book. Then, a false memory hit me; I saw the book I wanted inside my backpack.

Once again my view jumped and this time, a small rectangular window came into view. This was a different room, a bedroom. Contrary to the classroom, which was overcrowded and noisy, there was only a bed and a window here. The bed was to my left, like the bookshelf was before it. I stared at the window, it was so blue outside. I noticed my perspective getting sucked bit by bit into it. The more I focused on the window, the more drawn to it and the easier it was for me to move toward it. As I approached the bed I feared bumping on it but my worries dwindled when I saw I could glide over it. I kept coming closer to the other side until it dawned on me that this was a dream. I don't know what it was that made me know, but the whole experience of concentrating on that window made me remember of the truth of things.

Upon that realization I started backtracking now. Soon, I went up in the sky between clouds and sun. A city extended below. I wanted to walk the streets, their districts and landmarks, I wanted to explore. What lied in the distance? But I kept pulling away, removed from everything.

I prod my mind and it was so easy this time, where is my real body?

It's obvious isn't it, my real body is lying in bed, and this is a dream.

Sure enough, I could feel my body in bed and my consciousness inside my head within the dream. An uncomfortable sensation began growing inside. I knew where this ended, what it meant. It stopped around my waist. I don't want to leave! The dream felt distant now, my awareness trapped in between it and the real world. I wanted to go inside, to feel completely in the dream world, if only for a few minutes. I wanted to stop moving. I thought about going forward this time, I commanded in my head of my intention, but it was of no use. I went back and flew as far away until I woke up in my bed.



I must learn dream control, though I'm glad for another lucid dream, however short.

11th May

Dream:Earliest dream. I was in some place in the countryside, the dream was very vivid. I had my boots on, some pants, some t-shirt and my leather jacket. H was walking with me, I remember feeling the gravel beneath my feet.

In the dream I was recognising the place. I'd been here before in some other dream. This prompted me to tell H about it and he sort of dismissed it and even though I tried doing some reality checks with my hands, I didn't become aware of the dream state.

In my dream mind, this place wasn't exactly like how I remembered it from the other dream anyway. There was a gravel road and some buildings and some gravel plots along it, but the original place I was remembering had a normal road and it carried on, it didn't end abruptly like this gravel road. It reminded me of the southern areas of my country. There were pine trees and short grass that looked a bit dry. The dirt was fine and dusty and caramel coloured. The sky was a little bit cloudy but mostly clear and it seemed like the sun was setting. I remember looking all around me to try and identify anything from the original dream, but I felt there was nothing. The surroundings looked vast and vague at the same time.

After walking along the road with H for a while, we eventually came to a very large gravel lot, like a parking lot, clearly meant for that use. I remember H telling me to wait here. He had to get some book, or something, from town? I said I'd wait. I didn't know what I'd do in the meantime and I had the feeling that it would be a long time. Then my awareness transitioned to some other place.

A dream city. H wasn't here and though I have forgotten the dream plot exactly, there was something about a family that had to get to where I just was (the gravel/pine tree area). I was here to speed things along somehow? Something about a gang going after this family.

Then details are missing; I remember getting into a car, a silver convertible and also trying to fix down a panel on the boot or something. Then the mom of this family, who was driving, started the car before I'd even sat down and put a seatbelt on. She raced through the streets and I had little balance, tipping backwards and holding the open and swaying door with my right hand. I was partially sat on her son's legs, eventually he managed to help me in, but it took a while.

Some other part of the same dream. The chronology of the sequences is muddled. I went into a tall building and I remember carrying my black backpack and climbing lots of stairs. I didn't feel tired at all and my legs didn't hurt. Along the way, some young adult (early 20s) tugged on my backpack to have an easier time climbing. I resent that he'd done that but I said nothing and only gave him a look that made it clear to him not to do it again.

The staircase was very much like the one from my university. Very narrow, but no lift at each landing. Eventually I got to a pretty high floor, and it looked like my virtual gallery in some sense. There was a high open space that my fear of heights creep in a little, because there were no railings at all. I remember wondering what H would think of that.

Just behind the stairwell I'd come from, was a platform/floor and I climbed over its ledge without too much effort. It led down a dark unlit and narrow corridor. At the end of it was another stairwell, to my left. It went both up and down. There was a door directly in front of me. A white service door to my right after a short and narrow yard-long hall. Light came through the edges of this white service door and the stairs going up also allowed some natural light in from above, but not much, as it was still very dark in here.

On the stairs, a bunch of young adults (early 20s again) were sat on the steps. They looked at me, but more like through me. I looked back for a moment, but then ignored them. I tried opening the door in front of me but it was well shut and locked. I went back through the narrow corridor I'd come from and then skipped over the gap with the stairs and took a left turn. My mind blocked out the open space with no railings.

There were corridors and rooms this way. Many contrasts of dark and narrow halls with natural light from some windows. The floor was carpeted, not sure what colour, but I remember a cleaning lady. It just looked like a hotel in many regards but the rooms belonged to specific people who worked here or something, like an office area in a university. I can't recall the rest of the dream.

---

Notes:
- In many ways, the last part of the dream was just some mish-mash of my first university's building and my general concepts of offices and temporary living spaces. The presence of the people in their early 20s ties in with the "university" feel.
- It can feel a bit annoying to ask H about the reality and have him only make me dismiss what I'm thinking about, though since then I have tried to imagine the situation occurring differently.
- My leather jacket seems to have been a recurring feature for some recent dreams but I haven't found any particular reason why just yet, since I have not worn it in a long time. The only thing that comes to mind is that feels like a bit of a shame that I just let it sit unused for quite a long time, but on the other hand it is usually too hot for me to wear it.
- Dreams where physical activity occurs are always refreshing for me in some mental sense. Being able to do intense physical activity such as climbing many flights of stairs can feel rewarding and the amount of inordinate pain I would get from doing it in real-life makes it feel like a waste of my energy and time. In dreams my low thresholds of pain don't really materialise and it is often the only time I get a break from feeling pain and discomfort throughout a day.

More catching up...

---

12th May

Dream:

Dream recall faded somewhat. In the first dream I remember being at a house with H and someone else, a girl our age, but not sure who she was. We were all very hungry, and it was about noon. Someone suggested ordering pizza, but I didn't want to for some reason, so instead I got on the phone and ordered a man made of food or something, like synthetic food. He was supposed to get there by two in the afternoon. I figured when he arrived, I'd "butcher" him for the synthetic meat he was made of, wondering which bits H would be picky about, but as time went by, it seemed like he wasn't going to turn up at all, which made me regret not ordering the pizza in the first place.

Then I remember going through some sort of tunnels or halls, in an old style (20-60s) building. No natural lighting, just incandescent lights. Gave me the impression of night time. I was still hungry, but I came to a room where there was something written over its double doors (I forget what) that suggested I could eat there. I went in and there was a bar-like counter and I talked to a woman in her 40s and asked her about eating or something. I told her I realised it was late but I really needed something and she was kind and tried to figure something out. At some point my parents showed up and start commenting on the food-making. I forget what else happened.

Dream fragment:

A different dream or perhaps after a different segment I've forgotten. Only small bits, many of which just ordinary. But in the end of this dream I was walking around a downtown area with my dad, H and someone else I think. There was a man announcing that free testing for a certain genetic or auto-immune disease or something would be available. I muttered to myself about it not being available to me freely in the past and then the man approached me, unconcerned by my complaints but addressing them; he began to inspect my nose with his hands and as he did he said "normally we wouldn't check people who have infections on their nose because this excludes them" or something to this effect. His attitude and face while going over my nose and talking to me suggested (some medical) curiosity. Just as he was about to move on to inspect some other part of my face or body, the doorbell in reality rang and I woke up, having to answer the door.

---

Notes:
- Of these two dreams, as I am re-reading them, I actually remember the second fragment better than I do the first dream. There was an underground parking lot or something around the middle or beginning of that dream, which was where me, my dad, H and the other person had come from, out onto the downtown street area.
- I remember in the first dream I had visualised or seen a picture of what the synthetic man was to look like. For some reason I have the memory of wooden flooring in the first house of that dream.
- The part in the second dream where I was muttering to myself is probably a crossed over feeling of frustration at the lack of help I receive for my condition from official systems. The follow-up interaction with the man is probably representative of some of my hope that with chance and timing I might actually get someone to genuinely be interested in giving me the help I need, rather than the help that gets pushed onto me.