dream fragment

★★☆☆☆

11/19/10

I'm a lifeguard at an indoor pool. We're doing drills, practicing rescue techniques. I stand at the edge of the pool, deliberately collapse into the water.

Someone from high school. He's another lifeguard. He dives in after me, pulls me up to the surface.

Surprised to be shooting up out of the water, suspended in the air for a moment.

I'm staying in a hostel with two friends. Going to our bunk beds, and I'm looking up at the inside of a dome-like structure, planning my escape. We're in a group, aren't allowed to leave at night. I plan to. Sharing a conspiratorial glance with the other troublemakers.

A school. My brother and I are sneaking in with one of the girls from the hostel trip. She doesn't speak English. I shrug, tell my brother to pin the blame on me if we get in trouble. Nothing they can do to me.

Hostel. Scare Factor: 1/10.

Yeah, I haven't been around much. Between moving to a new city and starting a new job (or two, or three), life's been a little hectic. I'll get caught up on others' journals when I get the chance.

19.11.2010

DUI and Border Patrol (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Five dreams. One lucid:

Second:

I was at the house of some made up friends. There was a treasure inside one of the walls of the house. Another wall had a puzzle with the photo of a tree house. One of the DC had a clue for some scavenger hunt we had to do. It was $40.000. I left with my wife to work when we were done.

It was day and I was driving with my wife. We were stopped at a DUI control. The cop was an African American guy of around 19 years old. He had a very young looking face and he was only 5'3'' I was not worried about the DUI as I had no drinks. The cop told me to repeat some series of words.

I walked into an office for more checkups. There were a few cops who were drinking beers and half intoxicated. I was told I was clean and ordered to go back to my car. While I was going to my car, I saw the Border Patrol forcing a Mexican guy to leave the US. I drove away from this location.

Plankton from Spongbob ???????? what the?????
- Big Fog.
- I open a window and see Government stuff.
- I woke up feeling happy.

Missed dream signs:
- The treasure thing.
- Border Patrol cops drunk on duty.

19.11.2010

KSS Fragments (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Five dreams. One lucid:

First:

- I was scheduling assignments.

So I finally saw Inception last night, and to say the least it has really kind of redirected me in my lucid dreaming and put me back on the right path. That's not to say that everything in Inception regarding lucid dreams is 100% accurate, but it really put the joy back into the act of becoming lucid for me, making it an achievable goal rather than a constant frustration.

Of course, Inception being the last thing I saw last night, I had a lucid dream, and it was very Inception-themed. In fact, I spent the whole time in the hotel from the movie. I was in there for a few dream hours and did quite a bit, including testing out Cobb's totem (which I found on a table in the hotel hallway) and indeed it did spin indefinitely. Unfortunately, all else is very unclear due to my rude awakening...there was some loud noise outside that jolted me awake and absolutely destroyed my recall. I have only bits and pieces of the dream in my head still, but I know I was lucid.

Since the totem thing worked for me last night, though, I've started using a real one. It's much different than Cobb's, and has several different details that I can watch for and try to find inaccuracies with in the dream. Let's hope having a physical reminder always with me will get me to do RC's during the day again. I MUST get back into this 100%! I've missed having decent lucid dreams...

In which I'm an epic bad guy...

The first was some sort of epic fantasy type dream. I can't remember much about it except that it involved battles and tricksters. I got the feeling that I was the bad guy.

In which I'm too ethical to snoop...
The second was that I opened by email only to find that my account had been swapped with my husband's cousin HC. At first I was alarmed that someone else must have my account. Then I realized that there was nothing personal or important in my email anyway. So I decided to snoop around in HC's email account. After about a minute of this, I started to feel guilty and logged out. I called him up and told him about it. This was a very boring dream, but I thought that maybe the emotions in it might be linked to the first. In the first dream, I was some sort of bad guy. In the second dream, I first got alarmed when I thought someone else might be reading my emails then realized I don't have anything to hide. I start to snoop and then correct myself like a good girlscout. So I just wondered if the two were related, emotionally anyway.

In which my father and I are in a jail cell with some thugs and my high school boyfriend...

My father and I were arrested. Apparently we'd done something stupid and illegal while drunk, but this took place before the dream plot started so I never knew what it was. The dream starts with us sitting in a holding cell. It's a wide cell like in old Western movies. There are iron bars on one side with a brick wall exactly opposite. The two short sides connecting the bars to the brick wall each have a small wooden bench. We are drunkards, snoozing on the benches. The bars slide open with a loud noise and we wake up, hung-over. We ask the cop if he is going to let us out, but he ignores us as he pushes in three other men. One is a chubby guy with curly hair. One is short and lanky. The third one, I can't see. The chubby guy sits down on the bench next to me, the lanky guy sits next to him and the third guy sits in a shadowed corner on the bench by my dad.

We've never been in jail before so we aren't sure how to talk to new cell mates. I ask what they are in for. They explain that they've beaten someone up and leer at us menacingly. I'm not afraid of them as we are in a jail cell and there are police officers all around. They give us the details of how they jumped a guy and beat and kicked him until he spat blood, broke his ribs and his teeth fell out. They think it is funny. This makes me feel really sad, down deep in my gut- the way I feel when I hear about serial killers or people who torture animals. It's sort of a sick hopelessness. I decide to ignore them and think about something else just to avoid how horrible I feel when I think about their victim. To distract myself, I start looking at the cops who are processing some more people- standing them in front of the camera for the mugshot and taking their fingerprints. I think to myself that I must've been really drunk when I got arrested because I can't remember any of that. With a shock, I notice that one of the new people the police are processing is my ex-boyfriend from high school- a guy I have not seen or thought about for years. We make eye-contact: me behind the bars and him standing for his mugshot. I look away fast and try to pretend that I didn't see him.

Meanwhile my father is telling the violent trio about how if they don't just shut up right now, he will beat each of them until their teeth fall out. They laugh at him and he laughs too, but his laugh is so crazy that it makes them get quiet. Then he stands up and in a maniacal way starts to act out and describe exactly how he will beat them up if they persist in talking about their victim. My father is not a violent guy and I've never seen him fight anyone, so I was really surprised to see this. He told them, "First I'll attack you, Big Curly Man" and then he explained how he'd jump the guy so fast that he wouldn't know what was coming and he'd be kicking in his skull by the time his friends tried to intervene. Then he'd impale the "Creepy Guy" with a piece of pipe he'd found in the cell and squish the "Little Fellow" with his free fist. By the time he'd finished acting this out, all the while shouting and laughing hysterically, the trio were silent. Nobody knew what to think of the display.

The cops pulled open the bars a second time and pushed in my high school boyfriend along with another guy who I didn't get a good look at. My high school boyfriend is a loser and an odd-looking guy, but I have a soft spot for him even though he is a creep. It might be pity. He looked terrible- dirty and haggard with rough skin and wild hair. He obviously hadn't shaved in days. I glanced at my father to see that he did recognize him. At first, my ex just pretended that he didn't recognize me, and I thought that was nice of him. He was giving me the opportunity to ignore him. But I decided to be mature and civil, so I stuck out my hand and shook his and told him that it was really weird to see him here. He agreed and lit a cigarette. I thought that it was really bad for him that he is still smoking since he has asthma, but I didn't say that. He looked sickly and coughed. I have asthma too so I asked him not to light up in the cell. It was a small space and if he smoked, it would make it difficult for me to breathe. Besides, I was pretty sure it was against the rules. He complied and put out his cigarette, but the member of the trio in the corner lit one up almost immediately afterwards as a sign of juvenille defiance. I rolled my eyes and went to stand by the bars to breathe the fresh air. I was going to let it go, but my dad stood up and walked towards him, snatched the cigarette out of his mouth and then stomped it out with his boot. The shadow guy said nothing.

Then the police came over to say that my husband had bailed us out. Things get fuzzy after this. We left the cell and had some discussion about what we had done in our drunken state the night before. We'd have to appear in court. I can't remember this part, but I remember feeling like it was something really stupid and dangerous though not harmful to anyone. My father went home, and my husband and I went to my mom's house. She was having some sort of party and asked us to help her curl the ribbons on the balloons using scissors. We sat on high stools at a tall round table that was full of craft supplies in a room that looked like a school workroom with lots of cabinets. There were a lot of people there, but I couldn't identify any of them. We worked at the ribbon curling and I told the story of what I did while drunk and how I got arrested. People were amused but also disapproved. I can't remember the rest very well- there was more after that but I don't remember it.

Taken with the other two dreams below, there is an obvious emotional link between them all. In all the dreams, I've done something wrong. In this one, I broke a law. In the boring one, I did something unethical. In the mostly forgotten one, I'm a bad guy in a battle.

I had a false awakening about an hour ago, I was next to my girlfriend and thought I heard her talking to me and I was trying to tell her to wake me up, but she said I was just laying there mumbling in my sleep and then jerked awake. lol.
I had a few dream fragments though over the last day or 2. One with with an x, won't go into details , and the other was with an old friend. I seem to feel things in dreams that I can never feel in real life, I feel this kind of peace with my environment. Another one was I was in a huge downtown building like the one in Inception, and I was walking with my girlfriend. The one after that I was swimming in this cold water (I had the window open), and I was trying to navigate around an old ghost ship. I picked a huge tarantula from the water, and realized it might still be alive so I squished it in my hand, and then woke up.
I have a lot of short dreams at my girlfriends, I can never stay asleep there, i've had 2 false awakenings in the last 2 days there.

SilverWolf is at my house. We have decided that we are going to go to the desert to go looking for Indian artifacts. We have planned to go near the Mexican border. My dad says to look near his boss, Rachel, house. Apparently she has found artifacts there before. We say that it's a great idea and finish getting ready to leave. He says to be careful because we could cross over to Mexico without realizing it.

We are then in the desert. The sun is beating down and its a little hot. I wipe the sweat from my brow. I see something shinny on the ground. It is a pottery shard. I yell for Silver to come over. She walks over and says now we just need to find an arrowhead. I look up and see train tracks. I hear the train and see it coming. It starts to go by when I hear my dad say, "Allison its a quarter til 7, time to get up." I mumble something as I wake up.

11.11.10
Type: Lucid, fragment
Vividness: 2/10
Lucidity: 5/10
Nap DILD, napping in the room, get up and get in the shower, washing my hair, very warm in the shower. I go to rinse out my hair and when I feel my head the hair is dry, so I do a noseplug RC and it is successful. I realize that I am dreaming and decide to stabilize the dream so I rub my hands and say "stabilize my dream".. I try to look at the floor, off white tiles, very white/light bathroom. I get out very slowly for some reason, but I cannot open my right eye too well and feel uneasy. I cannot get my vision to adjust properly so I try to force my eyes to open up really wide and wind up opening my eyes and wake up!

Okay. I'm gonna sit at this computer and record these dreams! I feel like the computer drains me of vital energy, and feel reluctant to stay at it.

11.04.10
Type: Lucid, fragment
Vividness: 10/10
Lucidity: 7/10

Had a lucid dream but forgot it once I woke up! first time that has happened to me, and I get the feeling that it was the greatest lucidity I have attained so far in the dream. Near the end I recalled an incredibly vivid scene recall of skateboarding on the roof of a large school building with some other people, brick, sunny day, in some sort of small city scape, one massive tree in the front yard and some sidewalks.. Headed around the roof shaped like a large L and made way to a glass roofed sloped section of the roof, where I heard DC down on the street below talking about gangs in the school, then I feel the dream fading so I spin with my eyes closed, slowly and completely, with the only sensation I was experiencing of my body slowly and powerfully spinning. I think to myself "my bedroom, my bedroom" and opening my eyes find myself lying in my bed!

I do a nose RC and it is successful, FA! So I go to get up, propped up on my arms, but I focus on the muscular activity of pulling myself up too much and experience and a very intense pain/spasm in my right shoulder, and I remember that my physical body is lying down with my arms back behind my head since it was a WILD attempt/induction, and I can't shake off the pain since my physical body probably used a combination of muscles which put strain on the shoulder trying to imitated the movements of my dream body. Since I couldn't gather the will to get past the sensation I woke myself up and shifted positions and tried to enter back into the dream but couldn't fall back asleep.

After spending two nights with intense WILD attempts I decided that WILD would be an excellent and direct method for me to develop, and have resolved to schedule a practice regiment for this pursuit.

So I was at school. My boyfriend Chris showed up there, which I thought was meant as a surprise since he goes to a different school. I'm not sure what occassion it was for, but he gave me a boquet of purple flowers (maybe thistles?). I was disappointed, though, because my favorite flowers are red roses. But then my friend (can't remember which one, maybe Megan) gave me a boquet of red roses. I was grateful, but still disappotined that they weren't from Chris.

Later on in the dream my friend and I were at my locker. I wanted to clean it out since it was so messy, but one of the resource officers said I couldn't

Ive seen posts about dream designs matching people theyve seen. My"Zeus design", as ive come to find as the meanings of these symbols we randomly see are from when zeus split the human heart claiming it was too powerful. so i guess id be saying, i think my soul mate has the same symbol as a tattoo on her wrist. anyone with more insight, please help?

Just a fragment:

There was a man with a Beatles hair cut, and he was talking with an English accent, but near the end of the dream, he gradually switched accents with an American, and it was like, the climax to some TV show he was on.

Awake, Non-lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[These are all my dreams from the past week or so that I hadn't gotten around to typing up and/or posting to this DJ, until now. Most of them are pretty fragmentary because I wrote about them from notes long after the fact. None of them were lucid. My most recent dream, from last night, will be in a separate post, because it's longer.]

Night of November 10-11

I take a lengthy tour of a camp I've been to several times, answering questions asked by people who have never been there before. We're all there for our organization's annual fall conference. There are two cabins up high on a ridge, and a big meeting/dining hall on the low ground, right near the entrance. [I knew it was that camp while I was in the dream, even though it has a completely different layout in reality. This was a pretty long dream, but I can't remember any more details now.]

I'm with Ariel from the Disney version of The Little Mermaid. We're finding our way through a Little Mermaid-themed maze. It's one of several mazes at Walt Disney World.

Night of November 11-12

Mom, P., and I are out to dinner at a restaurant with an outdoor patio. P. asks me if I got any gumbo the last time we were there. I answer that no, Dad ate it all.

I see a two-year-old girl on the street. I walk with her back to my grandparents' house. The front door of the house has two separate sections that can open and close independently of each other. We get into the house by opening the top section of the door first. When we get inside, we discover that my grandparents have a new, upright, Scrabble-like electronic board game in their house. It involves a countdown timer.

Night of November 12-13

I'm in my current house, and I listen to a voice mail from a publishing company. I return their call and talk to them. We try to organize a live interview in 30 minutes' time. They're even willing to give me directions to their office over the phone. We don't schedule the interview for 30 minutes from now, though, because that's not enough time for me to shower and get dressed. They put me on hold for a bit. When they come back, we agree on next week instead. They expect me to bring a completed, polished novel manuscript with me to the interview so we can talk about it, and I don't have one, so I think, Okay. I only have one week to finish one of my novels. My hair is long and in a French braid, and I decide to leave it that way and not wash it before the interview.

I'm with my friend Jane R. She's trying on a cute dress made out of a towel-like, terry-cloth material, and I'm helping her adjust it.

I'm watching an episode of “Rugrats” in which one of the babies helps teach another how to use the potty, and they are found by one of their moms.

When I woke up, I went, Oh. I guess I don't have to have one of my novels finished by next week. Although that would be nice. I think I had that dream about the interview because I was worrying about how I was going to balance writing, studying, and job-hunting just as I was going to sleep.

Night of November 14-15

A Christian band sings a song about their dying dog.

I'm watching the pilot episode of a superhero TV show. The show will have a superhero team consisting of 5 boys and 3 girls. I will be one of the girls on the team. I know this from watching the show's opening.

Night of November 15-16

I'm at a church camp, standing outside the little trailer where the leader of the camp is staying. His wife is sitting on a chair outside the trailer. She tells me that I can't talk to him right now because he's sleeping.

I'm getting ready to leave the camp. I'm in the process of moving my stuff out of the space in and around a twin bed in a cabin, but I'm not done yet. I come back into the cabin to continue packing, and there's another girl already lying in my bed. I tell her that I was using the space, but I'm vacating it and she can have it now, but she has my permission to play with my teddy bears. Three of my teddy bears are lying on the end of the bed [I own all of them in real life]. She answers that no, she'll take the responsibility for cleaning the place up.

A third girl who is also in the room asks me, “Can I at least do your makeup?” I look at my face in the mirror next to the bed and see that it has red blotches on it, and several large zits, including two on the left side of my jawline. I agree to let the girl do my makeup, and we go over to another wall of the room, where there is a dresser with various cosmetics on it. I see that one of the bottles of makeup is labeled inception, and I think, Oh, cool. I didn't know that was the brand name of the makeup I used. [*facepalm* Oh, dear. That really should have clued me in that I was dreaming.] I reach for this bottle, but the girl who offered to do my makeup chastises me, snapping at me to spray myself first with an alcohol-based antibacterial cleanser that comes in a pale teal bottle. I do so, wiping it over my face with a cotton ball.

My dream recall really improved tonight, I had a lot of dreams, but I really remember a lot of fragments rather than these long and drawn out scenarios. I know that looking back it's actually very hard for me to distinguish some of my dreams from reality because they are mostly mundane and I have the PassObs state so pervasive in my dreams.

Dream 1-- HellBoy Reloaded

This movie has nothing to do with Hellboy, except that it has the main actress from the movie. I am PassObs in this dream, watching the movie as it unfolds before me. It feels like I'm caught in the trailer because she is narrating the whole time as I am observing, and there is a lot of mental commentary going on in the background of my mind.

So, the dream starts with her talking about herself and how she was a confused girl or something looking for love. Then I see a scene where she is inside of a giant cake that is being pushed down the hall. She has a similar costume as if she were in the movie Hellboy, thus the title. She says she is looking for love, and that her whole life turned around after this one event.

The cake gets pushed into a restaurant. And it's directly in the middle. Suddenly there are 5 guys, who I recognize as all competing for her love, that burst out in a murdering spree everyone in the restaurant. There are three guys who I basically discard and don't pay attention to. There is one guy with red hair, who I can't think of at the moment, and the last one is Wolverine! haha.

So I see Wolverine kill people, and then he takes this one guy out of the room by his claws. This whole time I'm thinking "how does she gets these men to like her?" "Maybe she just displays her real personality and whether or not they like her doesn't actually affect her because she has so many people who like her".. It's a really intricate thought process that I'm not doing justice to here, but I felt sad and depressed while thinking the thoughts. I was looking at the movie as a type of archetype for how to act, and I had this mental cycle that basically went "I'm not good enough, how do I get better?, the movie knows the answer so watch the movie and learn the right way."

Anyway, I follow Wolverine out into where he dragged the guy, and suddenly I'm in my cabana back in Dallas. I can't say for sure what happened after this because I had another dream at 5am that really scares me and might be a true account about what I did, but I am not for sure because I can only remember what I said happened.

Dream 2-- 5am continuation of dream 1

So, in this dream, everything repeats just like dream 1. When I follow Wolverine out I become aware that I am part of an assassination squad, and our group name is on this serving tray that looks exactly like what they would bring you for an order or room service. Once again, I am in my cabana.

I look around, and I am in this rectangular room, which doesn't actually resemble my cabana at all except the ground is carpetted a light blue and the doors are white. The tray disappears as I look back, and it is replaced by three of my high school friends: Stewart, AK, and a third person. I immediately announce to them that this is a dream and that I had just experienced this situation earlier, but I don't become lucid.

I explain to them in detail exactly what had happened, or at least what I remember. I cannot be sure if in this dream I am giving a true account of what happened in the original dream, but I seem pretty damn convinced, and everything I was describing was accurate.

So, I tell this is a dream, and I show them what I did. I walk over to a door, and I say, "I opened this door, and there's a bed and a TV, and I watched the TV from the bed." I open the door, and it initially it doesn't seem like there is a bed inside but I can see the TV. It doesn't matter, I don't look long enough to care. I walk over to another door and say and here is the exit. As I am walking over I can see the look on their faces is really freaked out/surprised. Both of their eyes are like in a way that is really exaggerated. I can't believe I didin't lucid this!! That's the end.

Dream 3-- Airport Group Bathroom

Some of my dreams that I have now-a-days seem to give me memories of dreams I've had in the past but WHILE I'M STILL IN THE DREAM. It's very weird. When I wake up I cannot remember having any dream like it, but in my dream mind I am sure of my location, and it all seems very familiar. In fact, I have memories of how the other dreams went, but they only last as long as my dream.

In this dream, I am carrying a blue tub, which is a debate term for one of the 10 gallon plastic containers that carry everything. I am walking through an airport, and I think that is my luggage. I know I need to take a shower before I board because I don't want to be gross for the flight. I walk over to this huge gray table where there is a security guard sitting down. He is black.

I put down my tub on the table, and I open it a little maybe to see what's inside but change my mind because he calls me over. He asks from my student ID, I give him my college student ID, and then I walk over to bathroom. I don't remember walking through any door, but I appear in the bathroom at the back right hand corner. I am only wearing a towel at this point. This is a huge square room where there are lines of sinks along the wall, and people sitting in stools near each sink. At the opposite corner (front left) I see a door that is slightly open and appears to be a shower. Where I am seems to be some sort of sauna.

I walk around looking for an empty spot, but I'm not saying anything. I think I'm in PassObs at this point because the scenery is so still and I'm not interacting at all. I find an empty sink and put down a white book I had in my hands apparently. As I sit, I get tapped on the shoulder. It's a black woman wearing what looks like blue scrubs as if she were a nurse.

She says something but I can't hear her because I have my right earbud in randomly. I take it out and do a sort of curt "what?" and she asks me a question I can't remember and I say "no." she proceeds to tell me that I am very rude and that I need to watch the way I speak. This comment makes me really self-conscious and ends the dream because I go into a PassObs state and everything begins to turn black. I think about how my comment really was rude and how I might actually be a rude person without realizing it and that I don't want to be rude in the future.

Dream Fragment 4-- Spider vs. Cat

This dream was a drawn out battle between what seemed like two comic super hero characters that were going to kill each other. Once again, I was passive observer in this dream, watching the scene as if it were a movie and all I could do was watch and think. We are in this darkened room, and I see the SpiderGuy (who is white with black hair, long sideburns, and I can't remember clothing) getting his head hit against a wall. As his head smashes against the wall, he looks to the right, which is looking directly at me. Suddenly, he morphs into a spider, and he crawls around trying to escape.

Because it's night, he is very sneaky and goes underneath a bed that I am on. The opponent, who I never see, starts to wait. After a little bit of no action, the spider crawls along the side of a wall at a fast speed toward the door at the other end of this darkened room. I see the opponent now, in the form of a cat, jump up and try to get him. Freaked out, the spider crawls all the way back underneath the bed, and we wait again.

We wait for a long time, maybe 2 minutes, and then these thoughts enter my head like, he's decided never to come out, what a brilliant strategy. And because thoughts determine reality, I stop thinking about the fight altogether, and just pay attention to this cat that is now sitting near the foot of this bed I am on. The cat, which is orange and white, starts to move toward me a little after I bring my attention to it.

It doesn't reach me though, it turns and climbs into what looks like a crib. There is a black cat that hops in from out of my vision. I assume that these cats know eachother because they start to snuggle. I observe how they interact with each other and try to determine what their relationship is like based on their behavior and what signals they are trying to send to each other. This is my classic PassObs state, where I am just watching an event and being purely analytical about it. I am having these thoughts like "oh, the orange cat is moving away slightly agitated so it doesn't like the black cat that much. The black cat is really needy for attention and affection, but the orange cat doesn't want to give it to him. I wonder if the orange cat knows and is just too cool or what"

Stuff like that. Whenever I go deep into PassObs, I end up either switching dream scenes completely because my environment turns all black and I lose focus on any particular sight because I am caught up in my thoughts or I wake up.

Dream 5-- High School Picnic

This dream starts off in a really nice house. I am with my friend, Will, from high school and apparently his dad and some other people. We all walk into this room that looks like a classroom, but seems to be part of the mansion as well. Everyone sits down on top of a desk because there are no chairs in this room. Some people have some bud that they are smoking and I don't have any so I start looking for some.

Somehow I know that underneath these desks there are drawers that I and pull out. I try a couple and there is nothing in them. I walk over to a separate isle of desks and try again. I find what looks like purely a rolling paper, but as I pull it out I hear a dad say "oh look he got one" so I decide to light it. I have to squish it together and roll it with my fingers for it to remain taut and not fall apart. As I am smoking it I get the feeling like I am actually getting high. My vision starts to blur a little and I completely relax into the situation. My analytical mind goes blank and I just start walking along. I end up walking outside where there are a bunch of other high school friends having a picnic.

They are sitting on these wooden tables that have pizza and chips on them. I see Gefen, and Doug, and David C., and Sean. All of these people I have seen smoke bud at one point or another, so the connection here is clear. As I am walking around, I am trying to have conversations with some of them, but I get in my head and analytical about what we are talking about, which makes me want to move on and do something else because the analytical aspect makes me really uncomfortable and uneasy. I can't talk to anybody without my mind firing a million thoughts per second, so I just wander around high for a while. I never finish my blunt, but I continue to smoke it throughout the dream.

False Awakening 1-- Talking to Daniel

So I am flying to Boston on Thursday, so I wanted to call my friend over at BU to hang out and chill. I did this during a False Awakening and our conversation was like Me: "hey man, I'm coming into town this weekend" "oh nice man.. (something about his roommate)" "I'll be there Thursday Friday Saturday wan to chill" "(says something nonresponsive)" (SILENCE) in my head I go PassObs thinking about whether I should say "are you free?" or just drop the conversation and take his non-committal response as a no. Then I start thinking about all the cool stuff he must be doing in BU and how he just chills until someone asks him to do something and then goes with the flow that way. WOW I get up in my head!!

False Awakening 2-- Comments from Matthew

Yesterday I had a 30 minute conversation with my TA in Writing class about how to do this upcoming project. He talked to me a lot about my analytical mind and how I like to tackle the larger, meta issues of a subject, which sometimes forces me away from the more pragmatic and applicable problems that the prompt is trying to point to. These comments started me thinking about how that applies to my life in everyday situations and how I could change that behavior or what I would need to do in order for that behavior to change.

In my dream, I am writing down geometrical shapes and words on graph paper while listening to a distant voice that sounds exactly like Matthew. He is telling me in my dream that I am too critical and that I need to settle down and relax. I am sorting through the paper trying to find where I put these comments. He is explaining that I already know everything I just need to organize the thoughts and make them cogent instead of muddling the issue and trying to make it more complex. I think I am awake this whole time because I am in my dorm room and everything seems normal.

After enough of these comments, I go into PassObs of self-criticism about my behavior and my ability to learn things and write essays, which causes the dream scene to go black and I wake up.

Dream 6-- Arguments with Friends about Gender

So I am in a separate darkened room with two people that I think I know. They seem to be related because they are lying in the same bed, while I am in my own chair, which I think is a bean bag chair. At first, I am facing them and we are talking about the difference between guys and girls. We are talking about it from the parent's point of view and which would be harder to raise and why.

I don't know what we were saying specifically, but out of synchronicity, the TV turns on, and I swivel around somehow in my bean bag chair. The TV character looks like Jon Stewart and he is explaining how for guys the cost of being raised is like $2 because we don't need anything. For girls it's like $50,000 because they need tampons, bras, and all of these other materials. After the show is over I turn around and we all start laughing.

Dream Fragment 7-- Nurse Mom

I am laying in the bed I sleep in whenever I go to my grandparent's house. Instead of being normal, my legs are hanging off the side and I am lying on some pillows, with my face turned to the side looking at a TV screen with some medicial show playing. I feel sick, and I transition from being inside my body to going PassObs and being a part of the show through the camera. Next, my mom walks into the room with some soup. This dream occurred chronologically after I had the dream where I smoked the blunt, so I was really worried that she would notice the smell of bud. This is an example where I have memories of previous dreams inside of my dream.

She comes over and pats me on the back in a comforting way. I start to get really paranoid and freaked out that she knows, which forces me into PassObs mode and then out of the dream!! Grr!

Dream Fragment 8-- Talking to a DC

This isn't lucid, but I'm in my dorm room talking to a DC. He is explaining to me his experiences with LD and how it helped him in his life. He explains to me how he used to be depressed and lacking in creativity. Then he found the world of LD and he never wanted to leave. It allowed him to fully explore his imagination and take a leap into another world. I suddenly get this vibrant thought of me flying over a city and just racing through the wind. There is a great breeze going through my hair, but the scene is amazing and awesome, and now I am super motivated to fly in a LD!


Overall, my dream recall really improved tonight, but I also think that I was not getting very deep sleep. I was tossing and turning a lot which I think kept my consciousness level higher than normal, but also affected my rest. I didnt hear my WILD alarm go off at 5am, but I still had many FAs which is a sign that my WILDing techniques are getting better. I feel like I am having more and more obvious chances to DILD, which is really encouraging. I am focusing more on RCing during the day and making them serious RCs. I will take deep breaths and start looking around and feeling my clothes in order to get a mixture of sense perceptions. I tell myself throughout the day "When I am dreaming, I will look at my hands and recognize the dream state." I'm really motivated on this WILD journey, and I think that with a little more practice I will start having these WILDs and DILDs tonight! I can see it happening, there is just that little extra step of realizing shit is weird in the dream. I will have to start paying more attention to my reality so that I can say "hey this is a little weird, I'm going to RC" just to ingrain the habit.

The past two nights I've had complicated lucid dreams, that I only remember in fragments. I'm not remembering to remain motionless when I wake up, and every move I make weakens my memory of the dreams. They are very weirdly disjointed dreams that possibly mark different brain modes and rhythms. Or possibly just minor adjustments of my head while asleep?

I was in a multi-storied apartment building crossed with a community center. It had vibrant red checkered floors and lots of friendly people. I was with ex-girlfriends off and on. And I was also with a group of friends and family. At some point I was lucid and started to fly. I vaguely remember a flying Disneyland style tea cup! I was using it to fly others around with me. I also remember passing through "a rip in the dreamscape."

To my horror, I remember very little about the events leading up to the fantastic conclusion:

I was standing in front of my Mother and Ex-girlfriend. I was holding a cylindrical rod in my hands. I asked them in a somewhat smug tone: "Do you like how I merged the dream world with the real world, permanently?"

I remember they were reclined with drinks, looking very comfortable in the luxury high rise apartment I was standing in. I remember reviewing in my mind the portals that merged the "two worlds." The rod was about 1-ft long, made of fine grain wood, and had two silvery caps on each end. Similar in shape to a pipe bomb.