• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Dream Fragments Touching on 3 of my Favorite Media Universes

      by , 10-18-2018 at 02:19 AM (The Lab Notebook)
      I enter a fancy, beautiful restaurant in one of the nice towers on Coruscant. I round a corner and sit down at a table with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, whom I had arranged to meet there for breakfast.

      I am approaching the main entrance to Hogwarts, but in order to get to the main door, you have to get through a series of challenges and tasks. They include climbing across a sliding metal puzzle-thing (which someone who was there before me has already aligned so that it can be climbed across easily), and washing some dishes and putting them away neatly (again, this has already been done for me). When you get to the main door, you have to sing the Hogwarts school song to the low doorknob to get it to open. Fortunately, I still remember most of it, and I sing the end part of it. The door opens.

      I'm with one of my coworkers, and we are meeting to play a Star Trek RPG. We have to wait for my sister to show up, and I go on a rant about how she can get away with sleeping in late, while I never could when I was a kid.
    2. First Ever Successful WILD! - September 15

      , 09-15-2018 at 07:18 PM (ZAD's DJ)
      Sep 15 2018

      First a summary of the pre-WBTB NLs:
      It's morning on a sunny hilltop, just outside the twon, blue skies. (fragment)
      I'm in a version of my childhood home which is an apartment or hotel, 4ish stories up. I'm with my fiancee.
      Spoiler for lewdness:
      The lighting/mood was incandescent (I seem to have incandescent dreams and fluorescent ones, and there's a clear distinction of feeling between the two). There was another longer segment before this. (dream)
      I'm talking to Adam and Tom (two random DCs). It's a public place, maybe a grocery store in a small town or a town hall (this is a reach) and they're arguing about the fidelity of Adam's wife, who used to be Tom's wife. (fragment)
      I'm watching Jack Nicholson, Pheobe from Friends, and some other celebrities corroborate their story in a fluorescent courtroom. (fragment)
      FA where I'm writing detailed notes in my DJ, even drawing pictures (I'm an amazing artist in dreams). Very convincing and thorough. (dream)
      Pen went out and I didn't write hard enough to leave marks, so I lost some. But one mentions noises, my fiancee, and my dog. It makes me think it was another intruder FA or variation of it (my dog barked a lot last night so I was afraid of having one), but I always remember those, so it wasn't that.

      Wake 5am. Fiancee (I'll call her F from now on) has work at 5:30 so I don't try to fall back asleep and just half-meditate while reflecting on dreams. Get up with her and walk my dog (calling him D from now on) and look at the stars, getting a strong feeling that I'll become lucid. I end up going back to bed at 6:30 or 6:40, I wear a sleep mask because there's some light entering into the room now. D's being loud and shaking the bed with his scratching so I threaten to kick him out. I end up trying something strange, I put two of the pillows over the sides of my face and my ears to block out noise, and I sort of side-hug them like the ten commandments.

      As I'm falling asleep, I have the tranpsarent eyelids effect a couple of times. The first time, I can see D, and I try to latch on to the visuals as a dream, but they pop out of existance. I have this with a few other visuals: a long stalk of grass or leaves, and a pillow or blanket with a tag and words I could clearly read ("english", "c.o.t.r."). A couple of times I feel like I'm going to WILD. I fall asleep and fully wake at 7:24am.

      This time I turn on my side but still use the pillow similar to how I did before. I go back to sleep. I wake up around 8:30, although I'm barely awake; I use this time to try and WILD as my body's still in REM atonia. I finally can fully focus on an image/scene, and at some point everything blacks out and I "pop" into the scene! It full materializes around me! I have awareness of my waking body and the fact that I was awake less than a second ago. I was surprised at the blackout before it happened though, I always assumed (and when I've had DEILDs I've experienced) that you go directly from waking to the dream with no visual discontinuity. Anyway, I'm in a tan carpeted room with white walls and a staircase. The stairs are the same as in my WL apartment, tannish carpet and white rails; however the room they open up into is bigger. I'm at the bottom of the staircase sitting on one of the stairs, looking through the rails. I am sort of a point of perception rather than a body; I try to spin but can't use my body to do it, so I think "bathhouse" and will myself to spin. It works! My perception point starts spinning, but I don't go anywhere or transition to another scene, the visuals just intensify. I look closely at the stairs and the room around me, the light coming in from the kitchen window, the layout of furniture in the living room. Suddenly I wake up. (Lucid)

      After this, I decided to keep trying to WILD. I kept on the edge of sleep and let myself fall into visuals another time! This time, I went directly into the dream scene with no blackout (it felt more like a DEILD). I find myself in a living room type area, near a sliding glass door. I put my finger through my thumb to stabilize it works with a little resistance. I pick up a small box or something similar and throw it through the glass, which doesn't loudly shatter but sort of just breaks and disappears. I go through the opening and it's a tight fit because the balcony railing is right against where the sliding glass door was, and it's high. I climb up and get my torso over it, then I jump from the balcony to a tree (the trunk looks like a palm but it's twisted). As I jump down onto it, I experience some sort of anti-gravity or limited gravity, which is cool. I land on the tree and grasp the trunk. At first it had branches, but when I look around and notice they're in my way, they disappear and it's all trunk. The trunk is kind of twisted. I decide to thoroughly experience the texture of the tree, so I rub my hands over it, bite it, lick it (it tasted sort of sweet with a bitter aftertaste and rough texture). Some seriously weird stuff omitted.

      This dream starts a chain of DEILDs and DILDs that last a while*. In the first, I'm in bed with F. I look at my hands and become lucid. After a bit I get up and ask her to come with me but she's gone. I go to the dark hallway and turn into a bathroom with the light on (sort of reminded me of my best friend from childhood's bathroom). I feel around in the cabinet expecting a few things and although I hit a wall, I say "Oh right, wasn't there a secret compartment there?" and that part of the cabinet pivots away and I find the object I was looking for! Was pretty cool, I did this with some drawers too. I read some vivid words that I don't remember (some tags on towels, labels on some circular plastic packaging). I believe I walked down the hallway too but then it ended.

      Again I found myself in a dark room, fingerpalmed, walked over to a table and grabbed a box, then threw it through a sliding glass door. The glass didn't break, so I walked up to it and punched it. I walk outside and it's night in a cyberpunkish or maybe Coruscant-like city. As I walk out onto a large circular balcony, I see that to my right there are three guys leaving theirs as well. I think to myself "I should lock up because they'll break into my apartment", but then I remember that a) it's a dream, and b) I punched through the sliding glass door. I realize that one of the guys is B, a coworker. The two guys with B are wearing old-time diving masks and carrying spears. He's wearing some sort of Rita Repulsa outfit with the big shoulders, but mostly black. I end up with a large stick (a branch from the tree before?) with a thin metal spearhead sticking out the top of it. Then another DILD which again I'll omit.

      Woke again, didn't record time but I think around 9:30 or 9:45. Went back to bed and had an FA where my grandpa came up the stairs into my room and handed me something he said was a CD (I was sleeping naked so he didn't want to intrude). The package wasn't a CD though, it was a tight grouping of multicolored beads with a small gamecube-sized disk deep inside of it that I couldn't get to. (fragment) Had a lot of other NLs and I think a few more LDs during the dream chain, but it's really hard to read my writing...I'll edit my post sometime when I have time to decipher them.

      *For the September Competition (and my LD Count) I'll count this dream chain as one lucid since they were all basically back-to-back, and then count the first one as its own (since there was a period of longer wake in between them), so two total.
    3. Lucid and Flew - September 9

      , 09-10-2018 at 07:39 PM (ZAD's DJ)
      Sep 9 2018

      I was walking through a large paved road which felt like a walkway through a large park. It was a sunny morning or afternoon. The lawns on either side were lined with large oaks with twisting branches. There were passerby walking in either direction. Suddenly I became lucid and started running! I looked back and saw a DC. I turned around fully again, expecting to see a coworker from one of my college jobs*, and she was there! I was running backwards at this point to let her catch up, but for some reason couldn't stop or change directions, and instead had to run backwards, slower. When I reached her I made some conversation about the fact that I was dreaming, and she seemed thrilled. I took her hand and we started running together. We passed a few trucks (possibly ice cream trucks or food trucks) and signs, and I was able to read them clearly. I asked her whether she had ever flown before, and she responded that she hadn't, all she had ever done was float. I told her that that was a good start and we lifted off.

      I can feel the wind on my face and body and we're still holding hands (platonically). We weren't doing superman poses or anything specifically to indicate that we were flying, just setting my intention on a direction and going there. It was a great sensation. The oaks stretched even farther up now, and I bobbed and weaved through the twisted outstretched branches. I had a few near misses but overall had pretty good control.

      I decided to go higher than the trees and went skyward. At which point I could see in the top of my field of vision three or four wooden planks arranged like ceiling blade fans. I passed above the planks and at that point there were flat planes rushing past us. I looked down at my hands and while still holding my coworker's hands, I pushed my finger through my palm -- I felt some resistance at first but asserted "I'm dreaming" and was able to do it. Then I felt the dream stabilize a bit.

      As I looked back up, I saw that it was approaching dusk with a sunset in front of us. Underneath was a large wooden building with multiple levels with wraparound balconies. It reminded me of the restaurant I worked at for a while. I approached it and landed on the roof (it may have just been me at this point). I saw a small shack/building on the roof. Upon further examination it looks similar to a dollhouse made of craft wood -- I can clearly see the seems and the semi-gloss finish on the wood. The dream
      fades quickly.

      Note: I woke up from this dream at 6am on my left side.

      Summary of other NLs:
      I'm in a kitchen by a white door with glass panes near the head and the foot. The house reminds me of a classmate from my high school band's house. There were multiple locks that were complicated and kind of hard to turn. Once I turned them, my anonymous DC sidekick switched some small levers which had clear writing on them in a row. There is a silhouette outlined in the door and I think what lies behind it is a dark garage. I have a serious talk with my DC sidekick. We open the door and go through, and pass through the dark garage (felt ominous, there were other silent DCs there).

      I'm in a garden/walkway with a girl. We look up and see bright flashing in the clouds above. It takes a triangluar shape and turns into a spaceship with clear writing on it (reminded me for some reason of the writing on a bus or van). We run over hill after hill and past trees to keep seeing it. Each time we get it back into our field of vision it's more detailed. Finally we see that there is a ledge on the back of it and there are giant women sitting there. They send down some smaller but still giant women who fire beams at us. We run in the opposite direction and become extremely cartoon-like in our actions. I fuse with her and our arms and chest start spinning; there are now two copies of me, one driving the process and one fused with her. We fire beams back at the giants chasing us as we run down a dirt path in the garden. This dream repeats twice or thrice featuring different versions (ages, genders, ethnicities, other factors changed) of both me and the girl. Very vivid and very surreal.

      I'm at a store getting various items (I remember some onion bread buns in a bag that I got IWL from Walmart). I get some impulse items that I know my fiancee will be mad at me about. It's a pretty long dream as I go down the aisles. Finally I go down the clearance/general/jam aisle, where I find a stack of fresh papers. Underneath the papers I find some that I've drawn on (during my visit or my past several visits). I try to consolidate them as they're spaced out between blank pages. Someone passes me in the aisle and notices one full-color one I've done, I look up and say it's nothing, then look back down and it's even more polished and is the cover to a small booklet or magazine (maybe a doujin). I consolidate them all and tuck them into the bottom for safe keeping.

      I'm in a large bathroom with long white counters and four or five sinks stretching out to the right and left, separated by double doors. I'm at the sink closest to the door on the right counter. The stalls are behind us. There are some middle-aged men holding bags and placing their miscellany on the counters, it looks like stuff you would get in those cap-balls from the 25 cent machines (where you turn the handle). Mixed in are brass gears and writing utensils.

      *With my ability to summon DCs, it seems like I pretty much pick them at random; I haven't thought about these people in years but for some reason my lucid mind thinks "Gee, I would love to see X random acquanitance." I suspect that as I get better about remembering dream goals and incorporating my awareness of waking life, I'll be able to make more logical/planned decisions within my lucids.
    4. One Vivid Connected NL - September 6

      , 09-06-2018 at 10:03 PM (ZAD's DJ)
      Sep 6 2018

      Not enough sleep. Have been having to work late.

      First dream segment. There's a guy with a giant (2x2 or 3x3 inch) black square earring. The place is like a video gaming convention, and it's sort of simultaneously indoors and outdoors. I'm maybe drunk or something, I remember talking to a lot of DCs. At one point, I lean over the edge of a display to the concealed camera section (used to record the event or maybe for use with some kind of Kinect-like game) and I say something like "you can't stay here/keep playing forever". I think at some point, coworker A shows up and accompanies me and my group of DCs.

      In the next segment, we're on the road with my mom. She's driving us somewhere, an old vacation home maybe, telling embarassing stories. Coworker A is in the backseat driver side, I'm passenger side. There are other DCs shotgun and middle backseet. We talk about various things, such as A being a bartender at a restaurant I used to work at. The subject moves to "romance" novels written by women. Eventually my mom puts an audiobook on or maybe reads aloud a passage, and everyone critiques it harshly, but halfway through I realize due to some turns of phrase and nicknames used that she must have written it. I feel guilt but don't say anything. We pass a couple of very shallow interstate exits (an interesting feature that's kind of hard to describe, but I know it when I see it -- possible dreamsign). Eventually we arrive at our destination.

      I'm now in a house, it's an old vacation home I used to visit, but not with my mom. I think in the dream, the other DCs were my "real" brothers, and somehow my mom was a step or non-biological mother; the general feeling was that I had some long-forgotten history that I was reviving. After walking around the house for a bit and looking at different things, I came across some large scrolls! They were proably 2 feet long (including handles and such) and reminded me of a Torah scroll, but less formal looking. When I unrolled one, I could see that the letters were a mix of Chinese symbols (although I interpreted them as Japanes kanji and understood them) with smaller Hebrew and latin characters mixed in and surrounding them. The text was distinctly red. Everything in the scrolls made complete sense to me, and I talked them over excitedly with my brothers for a long time. This was what was meant for my life. My mom was in the kitchen or somewhere else; I could tell that she was happy for me, but at the same time sad that I was so excited about a life besides the one she had given me. Coworker A is in the house but not near and my brothers, off in the kitchen maybe.
    5. Nonlucids, Some Vivid - August 31

      , 08-31-2018 at 04:21 PM (ZAD's DJ)
      Aug 31 2018

      I'm in a house that's based off of my current apartment. I'm running around the room, possibly with a baseball bat/umbrella/wooden sword, opening closets and doors trying to find an intruder. I'm yelling the whole time. I'm trying to protect my fiance. After some time I'm outside under the vine-covered wooden pavilion.

      I'm walking with my fiance down some way in an old world city, vaguely European. There is tan, smooth brick all around, reaching up on the immediate rightin a wall maybe 4 or 5 stories high. There's a similar wall far off to the left, with a canal inbetween. I'm walking down the cobblestoned sloped path, and affixed to the wall to my right, and there are stepped/gradated rails along the wall, one high enough for my hands as well as one that's ledge-like for my feet. I climb up and remember the vivid feeling of the thin rails cutting into my hands as I maintained my grip while my fiance just strolled beside me.

      Had some more nonlucids during this time but can't remember them/can't decipher my DJ (I write in the dark). I awoke at 5:30, went to the bathroom, walked downstairs and drank some apple juice. Went back to sleep around 6:15.

      I'm talking to my boss and the receptionist at my desk. A coworker (D) says "Hey bro," and my boss tells him not to call me bro, but Tyrannosaur. Transition, and I'm reclining in a bed in a warm red room with incandescent light. Either the boss or the receptionist comes into the room (nothing weird). We talk.

      Dreams are more vivid after this point.

      I'm in the office and a mentally challenged classmate from college is telling the cleaning people not to spray cleaner in our four-way cubicle, because he has "smell sensitivity".

      I'm sitting on the floor at the side of the bed from before, showing my sketchbook to D from earlier. He notes how finished everything looks (I internally note this too -- I never finish anything IRL). As I flip through the book, there is a series of 8-15 pages of detailed, beautiful (stylized) waves moving subtly with each picture. As I flip pages, eventually a woman appears amidst the waves. She changes poses once or twice, then becomes a younger (late teens or 20yo) girl. In the dream, I question whether I drew this. D comments "oh wow, lots of girlies in here". As I continue flipping the pages it switches from a paperback sketchbook to a bound hardback, and at the end there are ads (sort of like at the end of a manga volume).

      I had a false awakening about writing down my dreams which was also vivid, although mostly I just rolled around in bed.

      Awoke for real at 7:25 dreading work. Had some waking images/a daydream of a thin woman with small eyes and a stern look, wearing red and white leaf print dress. I think her name was Riah (short for Mariah?).
    6. Flying Is What I Do

      by , 08-15-2015 at 03:44 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #463 - DILD? 8:15AM -

      Become lucid in a new dream scene and fly around. I see anderj101 and high five him. I then explore a place that I used to work and have fun breaking glass.
      I wake after 4am and intend to get lucid as I return to sleep. There is a very vivid dream about a tarantula loose in my house. Its was too fast and bites me but I go back to get it from under a bed. I somehow sneak under a sheet and squash it when I see it's silhouette.

      Later, I find myself on a hillside over looking a park and a lake. I step off into the air and glide across the area. I suddenly remember that I am dreaming and tell myself this is just what I do now [flying]. There is a young couple picnicking on a blanket below. I wave at them and expect them to be impressed that I am flying. They ignore me. Of course, why would they care? I turn, slowly gliding like I'm in creative mode in Minecraft, and see anderj101 gliding in a opposite direction. His body is in a crucifix position with a goofy grin on his face. I high five one of his out stretched hands as I pass by. I say, "Hey man! What's up?"
      He doesn't reply, just continues to glide past like a Jesus figure. For some reason I think that I have been seeing him everywhere in my dreams. I laugh a little at his silliness and consider going after him to get him to talk to me. Something tells me this will crash the dream if I do. I very vaguely recall having been lucid just prior to this dream and my talking to DCs is what crashed it. I continue on as the dream turns dark anyway.

      I make walking motions in the air and wonder why I am back to this again. It seem to think that I had just DEILDed, but I am not sure if this is true. I flap my arms and make more walking motions until I find myself hovering over a parking lot. It is now way harder to fly and I resort to hulk jumping. I pounce on several cars and notice a dream glitch where my position suddenly changes and I land on the pavement rather than the red truck I was about to smash. I hear Darlene from work yell at me and tell me to "throw away this magazine". I turn ato see her and several other co-workers at some picnic tables. I walk to her curious what she was talking about. Then, I notice the building. I say, "Hey! This is the old 13th street facility." I'm super curious to go in there after all this time and I forget about Darlene and her magazine.

      As I enter the building, I worry about dream length. I tell myself that I really need hard set goals before bed or I'll just wander like this. I decide that if I try to make this super fun and interesting then I have nothing to worry about. The interior is totally remodelled and I am bummed that my dream is making stuff up. Then, I recall that Mercy Hospital owns this building now so maybe they would have remodelled in waking life. I become impressed with my subC for adding in the possibility.

      I look around and see a lunch room with cubbie/cube storage and lunch boxes lined on top. It seems to be decorated with apples and rulers like an elementary school, but I totally ignore this. There is a large wall of small square panel glass that leads to a reception window to my left. I follow it, but no one is around. I really want to get to the other side so I start punching the squares of glass. I enjoy the feeling and sound of glass breaking and get really caught up in it. I soon wake up to the sound of my wife getting ready for work in the bathroom.

      Updated 08-15-2015 at 03:50 PM by 5967

    7. Birthday Present

      by , 05-03-2015 at 04:59 PM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #434 - DILD - 6:24AM

      the orgasm of lucid sex-749d2eacbb61274b77139826b7a50fdf.jpg

      I open a package from the mail and find this beautiful .357 magnum with a case of shells. I awkwardly load a few directly into the back of the gun and realize one shell is actually a large nail. I throw it away and discover it has a magazine clip. I ponder the possibility of actually getting a super awesome pistol in the mail. I'm amusing it's a birthday present, but who from? Maybe, it was sent to the wrong address. I check the package and it has my name and address correctly printed. Do they even send guns in the mail? Oh well, I'm just glad I got it. Hmmm. Things like this never happen. I should nose plug out of good practice. I blow through and don't want to believe. I do it several more times and become really disappointed that I don't get the gun after all, but decide to go ahead and enjoy both lucidity and my handgun.

      I look around and it seems to be some sort of apartment merged with past houses I've lived in. I don't thing about this too much as I point my gun looking for something to shoot. I see A from work and tell her to "Freeze". I pull the trigger, but only get a *click*. Damn, it's not working. Ok maybe I really don't want to shoot a co-worker DC. I point the gun around the apartment trying to shoot but only getting dry clicks.

      Sadly, the dream starts to darken, and I have to recreate a scenario. Shooting zombies is probably ideal. With that thought, a couple lurch at me out of the void. The sound of the gun fire is disappointing, but I blast an unrealistically large hole the size of a frying pan clean through each torso. I, and both zombies, pause to stare at the damage with mild surprise.
    8. Kill Zombies

      by , 04-16-2015 at 12:51 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #431 - DILD - 3:00AM

      I really had a lot of wakefulness this night and spent an hour up with my legs until I was able to lay back down and have my second LD for the night.

      I am messing with a tall chain-link fence and gate. I was needing to get something from the pasture, but nothing is working right. Then the sky lights up from lightning and the wind picks up. I worry that the lightning will let the zombies see me. Then the lightning lights up the sky a purple color for several seconds. I hear some loud sound like machinery and thing the thunder is odd but will also get the zombies active. I get the fence together and just head for the old country house. Several cartoon zombies rush at me and I pick up a dry twig from the ground and stab them in the skull. My fear turn to delight and I enjoy doing battle with the undead. I may my way over to and RV and Rex jumps out to help fight. I now slowly become lucid and forget about the zombies. There are large green barrels rolling down and me I Hulk smash them out of my way as they come. I feel super powerful and want to Hulk smash zombies so I come out into the open. It is now day time and I am wading through deep snow, but it doesn't slow me down at all. I shout out taunts at the zombies in a strange voice, "Ooooh yeah. Come one fucker mother fucker. Give me something to break. Break your fucking face." I look around, but there are no more zombies. I deduce that dreams run on emotion, so since the fear is gone so are the zombies. I walk around and find another RV. I feel the dream fading and I try to focus, but I wake up.
    9. Time Is What I Need.

      by , 03-05-2015 at 04:29 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      #418 - MILD - 5:13AM

      Coffee (Caffeine) 2tbsp brewed. 4tbsp sugar and about 1/8 cup milk
      I wake about 3:45am from a vivid dream and decide it's too close to my 4:00AM alarm to go back to sleep so I go ahead and get up just long enough to drink my coffee. I return to bed thinking about the dream I just had and what it would have been like if I had become lucid. I quickly drop into sleep.

      I wake my daughters up to get ready for school. There is some conversation and I randomly climb out a window in a hallway. The house is a two story and I come out on a low part of the roof. I am trapped because a woman who looks like Michonne in a Sonic uniform is on a ladder that is some how blocking my exit. I tap her on the lag and politely ask her to move. She tells me to hold on so I just find away to squeeze past. As I climb down off the roof I tell the woman and her associate that I am leaving for work so if they have any questions ask my wife. I tell them to just call for Janice (That's my mom's name... awkward.) I feel like this isn't the right name so I start to tell them they can just call for Mrs. Coon but I stop myself because they might thing I am trying to make an inappropriate joke. I wonder why they are here and what they are working on. Oh they must be installing tile. On the roof? Maybe it's something else.

      I as I drop down I land inside the house. There is a ladder on a wall that is made of tape measure. I fiddle with it noting how flimsy it is. I decide it probably won't hold my weight so I leave it alone. I remember that I should be getting to work so I check the time on my cell phone in my pocket. 11:25am. Wow I am really late!

      I look up and find myself at work. Robert M. is saying something about taking a half day vacation then says he better clock in. I think it's a little late for half day so I check the time again. 10:10AM. I become confused about the time and decide I better just clock in. I start typing my employee number and pause as I recall how I was just in my 'house' and suddenly I am at work. Then there's the time thing...Then, it finally dawns on me. I must be dreaming. I feel a wry smile come on my face and I step away from the computer. The dream collapses at this point, but I manage to get things back in order by focusing on what I should be seeing. Things are a bit unstable now but I think I can work with it.

      I wonder about goals, but when I see a bulletin board I think I should try reading it. I do my best read out loud the wobbly and changing words. [something][something] on a cob. That make absolutely no sense. Now the dream is really unstable so I try rubbing my hands then the carpet. I notice it has a red and gold pattern.

      Things get a bit more stable so I decide to walk outside while still rubbing my hands. I can't help but feel that I am literally holding the dream together by pure concentration. I tell myself there is plenty of time and I should relax. I feel my shoulders drop a bit and become at ease. Because of this the dram instantly fades away. I try DEILD with the phase method, but I am too wide awake. I decide to spend some time meditating before I get up.

      Updated 03-05-2015 at 04:31 AM by 5967

    10. Fridge

      by , 02-27-2015 at 04:40 AM (Xanous' Dream Journal)
      4am coffee from 2 tbsp grounds with milk and sugar.

      #416 - WILD

      I wake at some point and try DEILD phase tech, but this time I was surprised by entering straight into it, skipping all the usual OBE stuff. I was only mildly lucid at first and thought that I was only seeing strong HI. I thought that I wasn't fully there and was trying to convince myself that I was dreaming, hoping that my dream time would catch up to my expectations. However, during the entire experience, I was already fully immersed in the dream and everything was extremely vivid. I even had the thought at some point that caffeine always makes my dreams more visually vivid.

      I am standing next to a refrigerator in a kitchen that looks like the Smith's house, but my coworker bro Brandon is there. I see the fridge is so vivid and I take a closer look to stabilize — like I needed to. I note the eggshell texture on the door and the brownish fake wood handle. There is some chrome and I expect to see my distorted reflection. It's not there at first, but I do a double take and there I am. I feel like my eye are open extra wide and I can't believe how vivid the dream is
      . I look around for a moment and realize that I am in fact fully in the dream. Unfortunately, it's at this point that something external wakes me.

      I had another vivid dream about swimming in an ocean and a shark bit my knee where I had been having pain in waking life. Strangely, my knee feels a thousand times better today.
    11. Working at the Library, and Search for the Missing Desk

      by , 10-27-2013 at 11:02 AM
      I was working at the library. Not a library I know, but seems too important a place to just call It "a library". I had recently started the job, and was trying to impress.

      I had finished my regular task, whatever a was. So I had grabbed a bunch of applications and had started to make messy comments on them, when I in mid task realized that maybe they mattered more, and I should have been less messy in commenting. In fact my new boss later found them, and reprimanded me on it, and I said I knew that they were too messy, but that I had done them before I knew what I was doing, but that now I knew, and in fact I had done several much better since, but I had left them at a table in the library, so once I retrieved them, I would show her that those were much better.

      It transpired that for my job I had not really been expected to comment on these applications, but that if I did, I had to do it right. I explained that I knew that for my job I was just expected to wait between assignments at my station, but that I felt too overqualified for that, and needed something to do in between, so that is why I decided to comment on applications as well.

      There was a woman named Jin who also worked in the library, but was more established there and somewhat mysterious. In the dream she actually had a full name, not just a first name, and while I did not realize it in the dream, her full name was the name of a person I work with in waking life who is a DBA of Chinese ethnic origin. The dream did not portray her anything like waking though. In the dream, she was up to something, and she had decided to trust me. She handed me a color coded folder, with colors representing different sections, and I think the sections were about spirituality, but it also felt a bit like a conspiracy, and perhaps going against the authorities who ran the library. I was glad Jin trusted me.

      As I was leaving Jin, another young woman joined us, and then she went with me, and tried to get me to go out with her to grab something to eat or drink to get to know me better. She explained that she was Jin's partner sexually. I explained that she had nothing to worry about, that Jin and I were just friends, and I was heterosexual. She said, she knew that, and was not worried, and anyway Jin and she had a relationship of trust. But she could tell Jin trusted me as a friend, and that was rare, so she wanted to get to know me.

      I explained I could not right now, because I had to find those applications that I had filled out much better, to show my new boss that I was competent after all. I had left them at a desk in the library, but the desk was not where it used to be any more. someone had moved it. I remember it was a small one person desk made out of light colored wood.

      Jin's partner left me as I continued my search for the desk. I think this search was still ongoing as I woke up. Although I may have found the desk at some point, but it was hard to tell whether it was the same desk or a different one like it, given that it was elsewhere and had someone else's stuff on and near it.
    12. Infidelity issue

      by , 03-05-2013 at 11:15 AM
      In my dream my husband is out of town (as he is in real life).

      In my dream I asked a coworker out on a date, and he happily accepted.

      See this is a perfect example of why I want to lucid dream. This is not who I am in waking life. This is not who I want to be. This is not who I choose to be.

      Yes, I am lonely when my husband is out of town I get it.
      I will also admit that I like this coworker ... as a coworker, as a buddy, as someone to share ideas with and to joke with.

      Infidelity is a big no-no for me, and I also get that my mind therefore decided to present me with this scenario to shock me, to tell me "See I know how to push your buttons." Here is something that would really bother you.

      But we already knew that! We already knew that I am struggling with self-esteem issues and with taking control over who I want to perceive myself as and deciding what is proper.

      This however I know is not proper. And I refuse to think that I "need" this, so subconscious fuck off! I am going to relearn lucid dreaming, and make sure that I get to decide what I do and what is right for me.

      If I am so fucking lonely tonight, why not give me a dream of my husband instead. That would have been nice, ok? But no, my subconscious, you decided to play games with me. Well, I don't appreciate that!

      In an hour I need to get up and go to work and face this coworker, and forget that my subconscious asked him out on a date.

      Updated 03-05-2013 at 11:56 AM by 61501

      non-lucid , nightmare , memorable , side notes
    13. Overly Complicated Building and Flash Mob

      by , 02-19-2013 at 12:56 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      I live in an unfamiliar apartment building. The hallways and elevators are very complicated. It's easy to get lost and disoriented. I'm riding the elevator, which is a huge freight elevator. Everything seems to be made of industrial cast iron, painted a gaudy pale blue. On the elevator are two young women, Asian, about my age. They are chatting with each other about nothing in particular. When we reach the bottom, there's an Asian man who is delivering furniture. One of the girls asks the delivery man when her oven will arrive. She seems upset because it's late. The man says today is Monday and it won't arrive until Wednesday. The problem is that the building is complicated and it slows down deliveries. I don't interact. I'm just observing.

      I leave this scene and walk to a different part of the building, getting lost. I walk up a staircase. I pass by a guy. Blond hair and athletic with a backpack. He says hello and says we should get a beer another time. Okay, nice guy. I wonder through the hallways, trying to find my apartment.

      I finally find my apartment. Anne is my roommate. She is very pregnant. She is wearing a black dress. Very sharp yet still appropriate for a pregnant woman. Just outside our apartment, there is a hipster-looking guy with a beard. He gets the attention of several tenants around him. He announces that he posted a bunch of photos on facebook of our building so that people will become more familiar with it and not be confused. This seems to please the crowd, which has somehow filled the hallways to standing-room-only.

      The hallway is open to the outside and we can see across the street, there is a sports field. A small one, like a high school football field with a few grandstands. The mob in the apartment hallway becomes rowdy and we start doing things people do in the stands of a stadium. We do the wave, stomp the ground, chant, sing songs, and use noisemakers. It's fun for a while but I'm tiring of it. I just want to get to my apartment and find some quiet. I'm also concerned about Anne. I hope she's okay in this mob of people.
    14. Work Criticism

      by , 02-19-2013 at 12:25 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      I'm in a room full of my coworkers. Everyone is in formal business dress. It seems we are on retreat. I wander in and around this building. There are tourists. This part of the dream is hazy. I think I walked back and forth through a hallways looking for a particular room.

      I walk up a staircase and rejoin my coworkers. Everyone sits. The boss stands at front and begins to give us an inspirational talk. But it quickly turns to frustration and desperation. He says he's tired of hearing criticism from the board about all of us. He distributes a handout of several pages stapled. The top page is a deep red. The rest are white. The pages have emails from the board about us. The very first one is about me. It says I'm unproductive and waste time and cost too much to pay.

      I am annoyed but I realize that the emails are just personal attacks and not really constructive. I think this is the point the boss was trying to make. That the board don't know what they are talking about, just trying to cover their own by attacking us personally. He says we're going to have a fresh start tomorrow. He dismisses everyone. Everyone else heads to the door, making conversation. Instead, I reach for my laptop out of my bag. I find a quiet room and plug it in. I want to start working right away.
    15. Mall, Cheat, Work, Home, Fire

      by , 02-17-2013 at 01:47 PM (One Must Imagine Sisyphus Happy)
      I'm not sure if this was one dream or two. I recalled them together and they had a connected plot. I was really mad at the end. Like really, really mad! The emotion lingered for a while after waking up. I rarely feel anger, so on the occasion that I do, it's almost a welcome experience.

      Mall Shops, Cheats
      I'm in a competition with Lance. We are owners of small shops in a shopping mall. The competition is to own more shops than the other. Apparently, it's just a computer program because I easily find how to cheat by editing my character data. I give myself all the max stats and money. Lance and I both use this cheat. We quickly realize that this ruins the fun of it. So agree to not cheat. Lance buys a bar that sits in the middle of the mall and gets a lot of foot traffic.

      I write a program to make money off the bar for Lance. I am reluctant because I know the game is so easy to cheat that someone will use my program to steal money. But I do it anyway. I finish and decide to have a few drinks.

      Work From Home, Fire
      I have a false awakening. I still feel tipsy from the drinks of the previous dream. I must not have slept very long. I am in an apartment but it's nothing like my waking life. I look at a clock: 12:56 in the afternoon. I check my laptop. There's an urgent IM from work from just a few minutes ago. The producer wants me to shut down the bar program that I wrote in the previous dream. As I expected, someone is exploiting it to steal money.

      I'm glad I woke up just in time. I know what to do, I just need to change a few lines of code and upload it to the server. But now I become aware of two other people in my apartment. One is Garrett (an ex-coworker that I didn't like). The other is a young woman who I don't recognize but seems familiar. I intuit that she is my roommate so she has a right to be here and Garrett is her guest. It occurred to me that maybe it was my sister, but the girl was definitely blonde. Anyway, they are chit chatting about nothing in particular in the kitchen. I need to work so I'm annoyed that they are disturbing me.

      I carry my laptop to the kitchen and place it on the stove top. I forgot the power cable. I fetch the power cable from and plug the laptop into a power socket that is oddly on the edge of the counter near the stove. I forgot the network cable. I search the apartment for it. As I search, Garrett and the girl and collecting their coats to leave. I am silently relieved that I will have some peace to work.

      Still searching in another room, I overhear them conversing. It turns out they decided not to leave. Instead they have the sudden urge to have sex. My reaction is "ugh, great...." It is a surprise because I intuited that the girl wasn't attracted to Garrett. Still, my reaction is mostly one of indifference and mild annoyance.

      They are having sex on the floor next to a closet with sliding doors. I see the network cable on the floor in the closet. I careful step around them, trying not to touch them. I say something sarcastic like "don't mind me and don't let me interrupt your garden-variety sex while I get this wire." Garrett becomes enraged by what I said, especially the words "garden-variety." He gives the girl a few final thrusts and finishes. Then he stands up and confronts me. I ignore him and take the cable to the kitchen.

      Garrett follows me and continues to yell and spew. I plug the cable into the laptop on one end and into the freezer on the other. I realize in the moment that this is strange but not enough to become lucid. Garrett throws something heavy at me. I dodge the projectile and it hits the stove top. Garrett storms off and out the door. Good riddance.

      I turn to look at the stove and see that the gas knobs are damaged. A small flame is lit from each of them. I think if I can just turn them off then I can safely shut of the gas and get it repaired. I reach with my hand but quickly pull it back; too hot. I find a broom handle and reach with it to tap the knobs. The flame only grows. It's clear to me that the damage is increasing and will soon become disaster. I see on the wall above the stove the two master gas line valves. They aren't on fire yet. I try to reach them with the broom stick but I can get the leverage to rotate the valve with just a stick.

      I start to panic. I can't stop this. The whole apartment is going to catch fire. I think of my roommate and worry for her safety. I intuit that her name is Laura or Lauren. I call for her to see if she is still in the apartment. I need to get everyone out before the fire gets worse. The glow from the gas flames gets brighter and brighter. I need to call the fire department. Wait, I think, I might have a fire extinguisher. Let me try that as one last chance to avert disaster. I scramble around the kitchen, searching the cabinets for the fire extinguisher. The metal of the stove now is glowing red hot. It looks ready to explode. By now, I feel more anger than panic. This is all Garrett's fault! I decide I should just run to get the heck out of there. Wake
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