non-lucid

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, ringing people up. The store looked a bit different than it does IWL. The store was dim; many of the lights had been turned off. There weren't many people inside either.

A customer kept coming up to my register over and over, a really sweet, chubby woman with her short hair pulled back into a ponytail. She was wearing a black shirt with a hot pink collared one underneath. She would come up and talk to me for a little bit, then go and keep shopping. She did this 3 times or so before she was finally ready to check out. She only had two or three items. As I was sliding them over the reader to scan the barcodes, I asked her (one) of the required questions:
"Would you like to open a charge card with us? I can save you up to 30%."
I thought I saw her shake her head no, but when I said "no?" she said yes, she did want a card. I got excited, since so few people say yes to that question, and, as a store, we have to get so many a day.
"Yes! Great!!" I said, feeling like I had shown my excitement a bit too much, and started to explain the process to her. I got it so she could fill out the app herself on the pinpad. She talked to me as she filled it out.

Then, when we submitted the application, the computer shut down! Oh crap. The app was lost, and we'd have to start over again. The computer came back up with this desktop background of what looked like a sunset on a dock where some sailboats were tethered. The program then came back up, and we started the app over, this time, with me doing it on my side of the register. She didn't seem too upset about it. She was still upbeat and smiling. She was telling me about some vacation she was going on. I looked at her driver's license and filled out the app, which looked a bit different than it does IWL. It asked me the same basic questions, like name and such, but instead of the questions being listed from left to right, they were listed up and down.

I got to the end of the app, and there were some weird questions that seemed to be quizzing me on my customer, like where she was going on vacation and stuff. I just kept talking to the customer and tried to think of the answers, and eventually, I had to just make some up. I went back to the top of the app to have the customer type in her SSN, but the box for SSN had disappeared completely. Ugh...now it probably isn't going to work again, but I hit submit anyway.

And of course, it didn't work. The computer froze for a second, then brought me back to the screen where you ring things up. UG09w3urp9ouhwe98hdg. This poor lady...and she was being so patient! I told her that the app stuff was being glitchy, and I'd just give her the 30% off anyway.

Then, suddenly, we were on a beach. The cloudless sky looked as if the sun was rising; it was painted with soft pinks and blues. We were standing at the mouth of a cave, overlooking the beach. The water seemed calm; it was beautiful. I plopped down in the sand, laying down in it on my back. I said
"This is the life, huh?" to the customer, and she seemed distracted, like she was ready to be done and out of the store. Can't say I blamed her; she had been there for forever.

We were then back in the dim store, and a couple of other women were there, trying to get the app thing to work for my customer. One of them was a manager, the other, a cashier like me. I told the manager that the app thing wasn't working. She went back behind the counter to take a look.

~

I was then in the dim store again, and an older, taller, thinner lady with short, grey, permed hair came up to me and said she wanted to exchange one earring. I asked her what was wrong with it as she handed the long, dangly, earring beaded with turquoise to me, and she started going on about how it was supposed to hold the key to her thong. Ok. Right. So I told her about the even exchange policy, and asked her to find another pair of equal or lesser value. Her husband was then there as well, and said she had already found the replacement pair. They were then handed to me. They were supposed to be the same earrings, but they looked more like chandelier-style earrings than the long, dangly one she handed me at first, though they still had the turquoise.

There was a point in I think the first dream, or a dream I don't remember anymore, where I was lucid for like 10 seconds, but I lost it.

In my dream, my sister is having nightmares that seem to get worse when I'm there. We are both on a bus, and we start out talking and as I glance around, everything seems fine and the bus if filled with cute guys. Suddenly I look over to my left and there are three sinister men wearing black suits and shades. I am unnerved and mention them to C, but as I turn around to mention them to her I realise that the cute guys from before are gone and behind us there are more frightening men in suits. One of them sits down beside me and I jerk away. I see that Cathy is terrified and for some reason I am too so I suddenly wish a trapdoor would just open up under us so taht we could escape; and it does, making us tumble out onto a wide, black asphalt road with tenebrous forests on either side. By this point I've realised that C is afraid of the dark, and she's made me afraid too, so I think "Sh** this is black too" and C screams as another man dressed in black appears by some shrubs.
-x-
The next thing I remember, C is holding my DS and with it is trying to eject me from the nightmare/game/whatever I thought it was. She seems distraught and adamant about getting me out of the game/nightmare. I step onto the DS and the next thing I remember I believe I have woken up but am still in the dream.
-x-
In the same dream, I am in another of C's nightmares which starts out fine, in a jungle with colourful and zany creatures in it. C suddenly tells me that she fears sheep and as I look around for sheep in the jungle, sheep are there. Small ones, large splayed ones, colourful yet malign sheep hybrids. The quantity of bright disorientating beings around me multiplies as we run, making me feel ill and feverish and inducing fear and the belief that I am making this nightmare worse by being in it. I whip my head around and come face to face with a dingy, yet also sickening neon green, purple and blue zombie girl. The shock makes merealise that I am dreaming. Yet I am still terrified and cannot seem to banish the creatures. C yells 'I know!'and we keep running until the surroundings melt ito white; I am too disorientated to pick up details. My DS is on the floor again and C is agitated and tries to force me out of the nightmare with the DS. I wake.


I normally don't update my DJ but this is a rather significant dream for me. This is my first nightmare in years; I'm not sure if I should class it as a nightmare or not because I don't know what a nightmare should feel like and I did awaken feeling a bit frightened.

I would love some outside opinions on analysing the dream.

Notes:

I have also had other dream fragments that are unrelated to this dream.

C told me once that she used to have frequent nightmares as a child and she was able to naturally lucid dream and instead of trying to control the dream, she would use a red button on her wrist to escape and awaken. I think the DS console was similar to that button defense mechanism and it was brought about by C being in the dream and my mind remembering the comment she'd made about the button on her wrist, and as I've not had a nightmare in years I think C was a guide for me and helped me to escape.

C's (and my) fear of black, although odd is not irrational and could have been caused by my darkening my room before sleep last night rather than leaving the shutters open and it was unnerving. The fear of sheep, however, seems completely irrational as I'd never been afraid of them in RL. The Bus could have been brought about because the night before I had taken a bus with my two sisters and C's boyfriend at night, and I realised that public transport was so stifled and lifeless, with the people on the bus not acknowledging each others' presence, but I also thought it was very relaxing. The fear of the dark could also be due to the fact that I had gone trick-or-treating last night in the dark and cold and on occasion wondered if I was dreaming; an odd occurrence seeing as I've barely been doing RCs and so have not had many LDs.

I think C could be the side of me that is afraid of things, and that is why when she became frightened by the black and the sheep I subsequently became frightened too.

I would love some opinions.
Thanks,
Amanda (14)

1. I was an ant and our colony was being threatened by a forest fire. We were upset because the only guy who could stop it, some CIA guy, had been brainwashed or something and we were helpless.

2. I was at a SEGA business meeting.

3. I was down at our shop and I was listening to some music. I had my earbuds in and then my boss asked me to take them out for a minute. I took them out but I could still hear the music perfectly fine, and it was drowning out my boss. (I think my earbuds were still in in real life)

4. I was having school at my house. First period was at the house, and then I had to run down to my locker (at the shop on the other side of our farm). I was amazed that I had usually been able to do this, and it almost made me lucid. however, the bell was about to ring so I was in a rush and didn't really notice. Then I realized I was forgetting something and went running back. I had this very strange speed limiter problem like usual though. No matter how much work I put into moving... I just can't physically move my legs much faster than walking. Anyways... I was in the 'hall' (the middle of our driveway) and the bell rang as I was headed to next period.

5. There was this random humming bird thing in our backyard that turned into a dog and I went outside to pet it and play fetch or something.

6. Someone was wanting to make another Sonic cartoon based off the second game, or this upcoming project, Sonic 2013. (hmm... I wonder if this was a prophecy of things to come??? hehe )

Well, that's all I had last night.

See ya

[Wednesday, October 31st, 2012]
I'm at Circle K, picking Alex up. I park it and walk inside. I have to go to the bathroom pretty bad, so that's the first place I remember heading. I walk in, and the door won't shut because of boxes and other things in the way.
I try pushing them aside and get it as closed as I can. I see Leila trying to help me, but I can't close it all the way and I give up. I end up stealing something, like a pack of gum or candy bar... and it was almost subconscious how I did it.

I walked outside of Circle K, Alex must have been waiting on me forever in the car. I get out there and Alex is spraying something on the tires and rims. She had an explanation like that it was to clean the tires or make them work better. I shrugged.

Then I noticed the car was parked HALFWAY up the hill, almost completely on the wall.
"WHOA. I did NOT park like that." I knew for a fact that I would never park like that.
"Well, you did." Alex assured me.
"No, fuck that. I did Not. I never park that far up."
I tried climbing up the hill and it was almost too difficult to do that; I almost slid back down.

"Fuck it."
I ran back down the hill to calm down for a moment. Turning around, the car is on the ground, down the hill. I don't think anything of it, and I hop in. The car starts, and I roll the rest of the way down the hill...
It won't brake very well. I throw it into Forward and... It goes forward. I park somewhere else and try braking.
But it doesn't brake... hardly even slow down. Alex want's to go say something to someone inside, but I stop her-
"Uh, Alex... the car isn't working. I run over the curb and fall off a small incline and land on the road in front of traffic.

"WHOA WHAT THE FUCK AUSTIN."
"THE BRAKES AREN'T WORKING."
Me and Alex were driving away from Circle K- And my car wasn't braking anymore.
"The brakes must have been clipped." I suggested, I started driving slowly through the backroads.

<I wake up.>
<I roll over and fall asleep.>

Now Alex is driving, and we're headed to my Dad's to see if he can fix it. The brakes are working for now. We turn the wrong road, but I don't realize it until the road becomes narrow and lines with hedges. She turns left at a strange Fire Department building. With the garages closed, but a Cop car parked in front. We turn around and park... and stop for a moment... We get out and walk around.

There's a couple really sweet vehicles like Mustangs and a black sports car here too now. Some other people drive up, get out and look around as if they're tourists. They admire the cars with us, and then I decide we should leave. We get in the car again, and have a small arguement that leads to us being grumpy at each other.

"FUCK" I stop myself. "I'm stopping, I'm stopping." I bang my fists on the steering wheel once.
"I'm not talking to you like this." She starts grabbing her stuff and putting it in her bag and opens the door.
"Wait! I'm not even angry!" Frustration kicks in. Why is she mad right now?
She starts walking away.
"Oh come on, please don't do this!" Tears well up in my eyes.
She turns around, "Stop crying. There are people around here!"
I wipe my face and realize my face is soaked with tears now.
We start walking again.

"Apparently, Seth is up ahead. He's crying over something too." Alex let's me know. We walk on a sidewalk that runs along several buildings that came out of nowhere. A group of people are sitting on the ground listening to a British exchange-student friend of ours. She hasn't been here in almost a year. But everyone is listening to her tell a story. We weave through the people, ignoring it- and I see a few people sitting down up ahead.

I light up a cigarette as we reach Seth. Alex and Seth start talking and I tune out. I take a drag, and exhale. What am I doing here? I wonder for a moment... Then Alex starts walking the other way. I follow suit.

As we reach the exchange student's circle again, someone hands me a paper with the story printed on it.
"When We First Kissed" by Hellogoodbye begins to play and the words change to match along with the song...

"Sometimes,
Making points on white neon boards
Is like,
Pulling stars off the black sky"

(My first dream lyric. And it's not exact, but it captures the point.)
<My dream ends and I wake up. "When We First Kissed" still playing in my head.>

10.31.2012

Splinter Cell Failed Mission (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm mentally controlling Sam Fisher again from the Splinter Cell Series, and I'm in a dark area where there's quite a few guards roaming around in a pretty tight and compact location. Most of the area consists of metal framework of stairs and walkways that formed into squares.

I don't know what I was doing honestly, but I presume instinct prompts me to just avoid any contact with the guards as much as possible. I'm just doing random things to prevent myself from coming into enemy fire, and I even have Sam get near the large and tall column in the middle of this metal framework of square walkways.

There's a fairly large square object in front of Sam as he uses his whole body to grapple on the column. It looks like a C4, and I realized there's an ON/OFF switch. I make a whisper at the guards for no apparent reason other than to divert them the other direction, but the problem is, they're going to the source of the sound for once instead of going "Hmm?" and walking to some other direction where I can have ample time to sneak past them.

The guard to the left I believe is bald, and he has an outfit that resembles Chris Redfield from Resident Evil 5-6. I think he asks another guard what the ON/OFF switch of the same C4 I'm near does. The guard replies "Turn it on."

I start to panic, and I even put my hands out before the guard can actually touch it, which exposes my position, and they set an alarm for the whole area. The C4 thingy turns on of course, and the whole place blows up. Now I'm on top of a random building in the darkness, and I think there's a fat man to the left of me who's unconscious.

He's wearing a white dress shirt tucked under his black dress pants, and is also wearing a red tie. I hear Lambert's voice, and he basically states to Fisher,

"It seems that you've blew up the place, and your best friends as well...and you will not be getting a promotion for this at all."

Now Sam Fisher is swimming in a random body of water with one arm, and holding the fat guy probably with his other arm.


The music that plays when you failed a mission or died from Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory comes into the factor, and the mission ends.

_________________________

10.31.2012

Trying to Choose Water (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I'm inside of a store that resembles the Kyoto Sushi area that I occasionally go to in waking life, and I'm trying to buy some water from the mini-transparent fridge container. I open the container, and I see all sorts of water brands.

I see one that looks like Aquafina, and I decided to go with that, and I have a hard time reading the labels correctly, and didn't do a reality check at all for that.

I eventually realized that this water was used to make some kind of Cream flavored milk, most likely Vanilla, due to its white color.

I asked the employee at the cash register about the confusion, and I forget what happens after that.

_________________________

10.31.2012

Alyzarin and Melanieb talk about Insecurities (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

All I remember is that Alyzarin and Melanieb are talking about "Insecurities" in #DV chat.

_________________________

10.31.2012

Alyzarin and Roads (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

I think I'm inside of a car with Alyzarin, and we were talking about gray roads or something like that.

Oct 31st '12

One of the smallest recalls to date, so it's not a long entry.

I'm sitting near a pool of some kind of holiday resort.
It's nighttime and the yellow lights are very present, as do I strongly recall an azure blue.
A warmth is slowly catching up on me and as soon as I want to look around to see where I actualy am I'm getting splashed by water and hit in the head by a ball.
I look down to see my glasses broken and slowly sinking to the bottom of the pool.

All I remember after that is becoming angry and again picturing those distinct blue and yllow colours.

It seems like anger, blue, yellow and black are recurring themes in my dreams.
No idea what the anger is all about, but I'll try to remember doing RCs when feeling strong emotions or seeing something yellow or blue.

So I had multiple dreams and in two out of the four I managed to obtain lucidity for a few seconds but I finally managed to get the feeling of a dream and im confident I can do it again a lot more easily now.

First dream I remember being in my house and for some reason these lizards that were bigger than normal were running around my house. I remember my mom calling me to the garage and she was telling me about them. I looked down at one of the corners and there the Lizard was just staring at me with its eyes. Things got weirder as I received a Text from the lizard. I cant recall word for word what it said but it included the words "Nave" and "Harm". What i do know though was that he didnt mean me any harm. I think I texted him back but my dream switched to this Scene where it was brian, Chris and Stewie from family guy with the lizard in school. They were calling a peace meeting but I cant recall what they were saying and I woke up shortly after.

This was the end of my first Rem cycle. After this I was awake for a bit and I managed to go back to sleep.

This was a short dream but one of the highlights. I was coming down a big building I felt like was work. I wanted to get across the street so I waited until there were no cars and I ran for it. Once I got to the other side, I noticed the trees that I was passing by and heard the cars that were driving by on the road. The dream steadily began getting more clearer and as I began to walk down the road, suddenly I just became completely aware of myself. I immediately thought "Im dreaming!" and when I noticed this, for some reason, I lost complete control of my body and I fell to the ground. While on the ground I knew I had to rub my hands together to get some stabilization but my hands were behind my back and it was extremely hard to move them. I knew though that it was because I was too focused on my real body instead of my dream body. I tryd focusing in on my dream body and slowly but surely I started to move my hands. All this focusing on my body and hands caused my eyes to close and I could no longer see the road I was laying on. As I slowly moved my hands together to rub, I could hear the cars driving by very clearly and the wind brushing up against me. When I finally managed to rub my hands together, I tried opening my eyes but ended up waking myself up

Third dream I was in my car with some of my work buddies. It was Suheyn, Andrea, Ralph, and I. It was pouring down rain and I stopped by an office building to go to the bathroom. My dream skipped the part where I got out of the car and continued when we were leaving somewhere again. There was dialogue and laughter but I cant remember what was said. I know Ralph conversed with me about why I haven't called him to catch up and hang out (It was kind of awkward). Anyways, As we were leaving Suheyn says she needs to use the bathroom and I ask why she didn't ask the first time! She didn't say anything cause I was already turning around again. We all ran inside this time and while inside we started listening to music by I think hooking up an Ipod. I cant recall the music and after a few minutes or seconds of dancing we ran back to the car and I woke up.

Last dream I recall that I will type was of me in my house walking to the front door. Outside were my parents greeting two cars that pulled up with two families. In one of the cars came out this beautiful girl with her parents and I could've swore Ive met her before. In the second car (Both of them were SUV's) came out another beautiful girl but not as good looking as the other. My parents said Hi and im sure i introduced myself too. The dream skipped this part however and I found myself sitting in my backyard. One of the Girls came up to me and said that she knows me and that I look very familiar. She wasnt the one that I thought was familiar so I had no idea what to say. I dont remember what was said but it must have been good because she started attacking my face and we made out for a bit. Our families started to make obnoxious noise like to embarrass us so I grabbed her hand and went to the side of my house. We began making out again and I can still kind of feel her lips and the way she kissed. After a bit I asked if she wanted to see my room and she was so eager she took me by my hand and guided me We went through the living room and I saw the other girl staring at me almost in jelousy but I could tell she was just sad, she wished she made a move first. When we went into my room I woke up for a few seconds cause my brother was hassling my mom about going to school. When I went back in, I found myself alone on the side of my house and right away I became aware and just felt that dreaming sensation. Without hesitation I began to rub my hands together this time with ease and I felt my hands very vividly. I could hear the wind passing me by and I could just feel my entire body but the best thing about it is that I could also feel like an Aura or energy field around my dream body as well. This lucidity was better and lasted slightly longer than the last but sadly, as soon as I stopped rubbing, the dream began to get darker and I knew once it was pitch black I wouldnt be able to open my dream eyes again. I woke up once it became completely dark.

Even though I didn't get very far, this is still a huge success for me because I now know the sensation of dreaming. From now on I will be able to become lucid a lot easier and with practice I'll be as good as you guys in no time.

Last Night I had 4 dreams that I can recall...

1. I was at a CAP meeting and it was all dark and scary looking. For some reason everyone was all emotional and hugging eachother as if some huge catastrophy had just occurred

2. I was at home and went for a walk in the middle of the night. This little dog came and scared the daylights out of me. THen this other absolutely huge dog followed it and started attacking me. Somehow my mp3 player turned into a .45 and I can remember loading the cartridges in as if it were a shotgun. Then I remember telling the dog to go away or I would let him have it.

3. I was in this Godzilla movie or something and I remember the monster came charging through town and I watched some peeps get stepped on and squished.

4. I was in a horror movie or something. I don't really remember anything about this one.

As you can see... some pretty dark dreams last night. Idk what it was all about, but I am in the mood for a video game dream or something fun. Here's to having another adventure tonight that is pure fun.

Sleep Time 11:00 p.m - 6:00 a.m

" A Swim"

I'm "swimming" in about a foot of water. So I'm mostly just splashing around. There is some sort of sea creature in the water with me. It was either a dolphin or shark, I don't remember.


Dream University

I'm in the high school that I sub at frequently but it's set up like a university. There are dreaming courses listed on all the doors. Even the bathrooms say "Dream Boys" and "Dream Girls".

I'm gonna go ahead and start a dream journal/ blog to start making sense of what is going on in my dreams. I have some interesting dreams but dangerous as well so whatever we'll see what happens. To start this off, to whoever reads this, apparently some aspect or part of me was sucked into some kind of black hole of confusion thanks to tendency of an evil friend I used to have to not watch his own creations. (samwe went for me apprently, i was only 17 years old) so many of my dreams messages and symbols might come in a confused manner.What I mean is I think that maybe what I am saying in my mind when I say it is actually based off of a confused basis which would make no sense to an outside observer, at least a part of me is like that. Anyways the words still come out ok when I type so i can use this as a tool to help me find what exactly happened. Also, a diffrent aspect of me apparently was captured by some kind of insane sex monster with tentancles, which I reall dont know how to deal with at this point. And becasue of that sex demons are constantly trying to steal my life force at night and sometimes during the day. This seems to be amplified when I'm around people with similar demons ( which is ALOT of people). Also! this demon is prevalent in people's weird misfigured eye pieces.

Anyway last night , from what I remember at this point was me being at my uncle david's house in california, or some kind of projection of it. It was like a house of my david's house combined with another one of my relative's house in california. A lot of family was there, my mom, me, my current boyfriend, my sister, my cousin. I dont remember what we were doing, apparentyl just having fun talking and what not. There were other people there I don't know, presumably my uncle's previous sex partners. We were there and at one point, I went into another room cause I had to go pee. I remeber trying to go pee but people kept coming into the room and I would have to wait for them to leave. At one point I tried peeing in a trashcan and stopped myself cause I thought that was weird. Also some kind of bug/fairy being brushed against my face but I blew it away with a stream of air because I had been falling asleep to mosquitoes flyin around and I mistook it for that. It could ahve been a regular bug but it feels a little more significant then that. Away I went back to the room with everyone else and jokingly threw a pillow at my mom's current boyfriend's face who looiked like he was sleeping. When he woke up he had like multiple eyes it was really weird. I feel if that fairy was infact a fairy, it was telling me not to throw a pillow at his face. But I did so w/e thats in the past now. I do have some form of resentment for my mom's boyfriend. He isn't a mean guy or anything, probably just the typical Kid dpoesnt like new boyfriend kind of stuff but also I feel he has some deep seated issues which might hurt my mom.

I woke up fora bit after my mom's boyfriend (harvey) had those weird multiple eye things. I thought about it for a while and thought maybe that dream was connected to a different dream I had before but didn't/ don't have enough awareness right now to know for sure. Anyway I went back to sleep. I had a dream about my friend marco playing league of legends. He was saying something but I didnt understand. The scene actually started from the same area where i was before. The scene gradually got more intense, some kind of being was being fought off by good guys. I got really aware when some kind of intense energy wave was given off by this evil guy and knocked everyone down, including me. I was on the ground when someone who looked like this guy from league of legends but really tall, almost giant sized. He came with a wooden looking sword, executed someone in front of me on the fground with his sword at the neck and then came towards me. I felt like I was fainting but when he got close I found a sword next to me and put it in front of the wooden blade dflecting it from my neck. Everything went black and then I came back to awareness with the kassadin guy's sword snapping from the pressure and he fell down on the floor. I took my time to strike, leaped towards his neck, and cut his head off with my sword. i tried stabbing it but aprrently I had to actualyl slice the head off.


After that the main evil guy in the middle got up from being knocked down and started to attack again. We circled around him waiting to see what would happen. There were multiple fighters. I went around in front of him. He saw me and formed some kind of dimensional shield around his arm to shield himself fro mattacks. I had no weapon but decided to act as a decoy so my teammates could attack him. So I jump onto his shield while he tried to charge at me. I go some kind of dagger and stabbed him in the throat while my teammates got this really nice sharp but glorious looking spears and stabbed him fro mthe sides, around 3 people were holding each spear. He fell. Everyone gathered him into some kind of box and prepared a ritual to send him back to the source of all energy. Me or whoever I was percieving said " don't worry, you will be back, in some kind of form or another, blah blah blah.....judt kidding, I dont want to be an sshole, you'll be back though so dont worry." to the dead body in the coffin llooking thing, it contained the guy's power. He was in there apparently unconscious. The guys poured some kind of lquid on his face designed to help the body feel good as it is passed back into the source. When they did, he started smiling in euphoria. It was like he knew he was about to die but he was too weak to do anything, but also too delirious from the liquid to even think. Somebody asked me to help them hold the case up while he did some kind of ritual over the body. Apparently he tried to shake or something because his body flipped in the case and we almost dropped the coffin but it stayed held up. Then while I was helping holding the coffin I woke up. I felt decent, kind of strange. Decided not to go back to sleep. Went outside and meditated on balancing the two sides of my body. I did this by realizing the simple nature of this universe using sacred geomtry principles. When yo uare gorwing in your mother's fetuas, the first thing to be formed is your heart. From here, your tongue forms next, and then the rest of your body. In this fashion , I could see how my body, after millions of yeras of evolution through various water states and then finally coming onto land, (with the help of some et's) was formed from the designed of a space matrix which includes the various directions originating from the heart center. Fro mthe heart to your head. Heart to the base of your spine, Heart to the space in front of you and behind you, this is how yo uare connected to this specific matrix. If yo uwant to learn more about this I recommend meditating shapes in your mind's eye and what they reveal to you, and reading up on malchiezideck sacred geomtry books. Anyways ill be updating this blog, journal whenever I feel I should, thanks for reading.

This means normal dream
This means lucid dream
This means I'm loosing my lucidity
This means non-dream notes
-----

Okay, so it started out as me walking into the house, (my grandma's actually), and my mom was sitting on the loveseat talking to my boyfriend on videochat on my old phone. While I didn't think it odd that my mom was there though she no longer lives with me, or that my phone doesn't have a video camera or internet, or that my BF would be conversing with my mom at all, I accepted it. I was in my swimsuit and it was a bright summer outside as my sisters played in our nonexistant pool. My hair was fluffy though, and longer than it is in real life, so I must not have been swimming. Anyway my mom hands the phone to me and my BF and I start to talk like we do any other day, me playing around with the camera angles and making myself look upside down.

Then, my Bf's sister and her two little kids interrupted our conversation by barging in and the littlest kid blowing a party streamer in my bf's face. He looked annoyed and proceeded to chase his sister out of the room, leaving the two kids. I looked around awkwardly, suddenly realizing that I was in his room and not at my house. His laptop was still sitting on his desk (very odd, he NEVER uses a desk) and the skype window was open, but I was not there. His room was largely devoid furiture, with blue walls, white trim and light hardwood floors. There was the desk, a closet and an air mattress. Thinking back, it seems to resemble a cross between my sister's old room and my dad's new room, only cross sectioned into a new home. Looking down, I was still alone with my Bf's wide-eyed niece and nephew. So, I decided to play with them like I do most kids of their age, I pretended to be a dog. They enjoyed seeing me barking and walking on all fours, play bowing for them to throw balls for me that I brought back by nudging with my knuckles, unwilling to put anything in my mouth touched by a toddler. When my BF and his sister returned they seemed unconcerned by my presence. I stood up and when I looked to the web camera on the open laptop I was transparent and outlined by a black dotted line. Then, my color started to fill in and everyone else started to acknowledge me.

---
new dream
---

I do not remember how I got there or why, but me and my boyfriend were apparently in the wedding ceremony for some friend or relative of one of our families. The groom was wearing a superman costume and the wife, a tan indian woman, was in a muddy wedding gown. The entire wedding ceremony was on a large staircase and it was not bad by superman standards.

My bf pulled me aside and started to yell at me, I yelled at him back and we were just plain mad for some reason. I told him that he couldn't be mad at me because I loved him and I had even had a dream about him just an hour ago (a reference to my dream previous). He said something along the lines of "well, you sure as hell weren't fucking me in that dream. now were you?" and we both bitterly continued to be our parts in the ceremony.
----

it is to my conclusion that the last dream is my fear of ever getting to the point of marring my boyfriend because I am asexual and he is heterosexual. I could never give him what he needs, no matter how much I love him.

[Tuesday, October 30th, 2012]

I was disguised into a group of thugs and baddies or just unfamiliar druggies. We sat in their red van as they talked
about a type of drug they smoked and grew. It was a red root or weed kind of plant that would grow anywhere. We
sat and talked for awhile, and then I decided I needed to use the bathroom. I got out of the car walked down the
plaza street until I arrived at a bathroom.

WHOA. I remember a dream before this. I came to this same bathroom, when I told my Mom I needed to use it
before. I walked into the bathroom and flushed the toilet water it since it was yellow already. I sat down on it,
went pee, but couldn't go number 2. So I flushed the toilet and left. The room was a comfortable, out-of-sight
bathroom with Hawaiian tropical theme. I walked back outside, the whole ISLAND plaza was island themed.
There was a bay of water to the left, close to where the drug van was parked, and the sunset reflected a beautiful
orange and maroon just perfectly off the water.

I walked back up to the van, and got in and began to excuse myself. They told me to look at the plant one more
time before I left. It was growing underneath the passengers seat. I leaned down and put my face close, and... sure
enough, a red sprout was sitting in the middle, right underneath her seat. I instantly began to thieve.

I saw a stem that looked weak and dry, like it would crack off. I distracted the two people in the front seat.
"So this is it?" I bent the stem back and forth, in hopes that I could snap it off. "You guys just started growing this,
didn't you?"

They answered that I was right. I picked a piece off and grasped it tightly in my palm.
"Alright guys, I really am sorry. I'm not feeling so hot, I'm gonna head out now." I really did have to go to the
bathroom again still.

I opened the door and said my politries, then shut it behind me.
"Phew, I did it." I thought silently as I snuck off into the everdarkening evening.

I passed into an enclosed grassy area- it kind of reminds me of a flag pole area at the entrance to a school or hotel,
but with highwalls to surround it. The path of brick or stone cut right through the grass to the other side. I
continued casually, but slowed down when I saw a perfectly good SD card. Then another. And another. I stopped.
"Whoa." I looped around, still trying to remain casual looking. I picked up an SD card, and all of the ones I found.
Then I noticed there was more than just memory sticks. There's DS games, Gameboy games, Nintendo 64 games!

All kinds of cartridges! Scattered across the grassy yard. I got excited and began to pick them up into a stack.
"HEY!" A large tomboyish female called me out. She must have had blonde hair and a cap to cover it- because I
get that impression. "What are you doing?"

In a second, I told the truth, which is unusual for a circumstance like this.
"I found a bunch of video game cartridges on the ground! I mainly just want the Gameboy ones, but you can take
some if you find something you like too." It felt nice to share. I DIDN'T need all of these, anyways.
She stared at me with an annoyed inquisitive gaze... then it lightened.

"Okay!" She was suddenly friendly and full of love.
We bent down and worked together, sorting through all of them, stacking them in piles.
I would check hers to see if she found anything I liked, and likewise.
I liked her. (It's too bad I didn't ask for a name.)

<My dream faded as I woke up.>
<I rolled over and went back to sleep.>

I'm now inside the Hotel that was to my immediate right in the previous dream, after walking into that grassy
entrance. I'm not sure how, but I was a fighter. A bunch happened that I don't remember. But I do remember the
current circumstances I was thrown into. I had a Master who was helping me to stop the summoning of an evil
God. We could see him, but he was powerless to harm us yet. He wore what looked like a red samurai mask. An
evil idiot villian and his short alien-looking psychic sidekick were summoning him. My Master was keeping him at
bay.

I had a staff in my hand and I got impatient. I charged my staff and pointed the end at the evil God and a blue
light sparked out and glowed. It pushed the evil God away but then he smiled at me. My Master intervened and
told me to be patient. I knew it was a powerful attack, but why didn't it banish him? He was REALLY powerful.

Just then, the evil idiot villain emerged from the bathroom and told his sidekick,
"Don't worry. When we win, I'll give you levatation powers."
"That fucking idiot." I let out. The evil villain turned his head so fast and was in my face. He shouted and screamed
and spit and seemed like he was going insane. His face went dark red and he looked like he was in pain almost.

The evil God grinned, as if he had a chance to strike, THROUGH him.
"CALM DOWN." I grabbed his head in my hands. "Look at me! Caaaalm dooowwn."
"It's oookaaaayy. It's okay." His face resembled my best friend Nathan. I hugged him.

<My dream faded and I woke up.>
(I'll also add that I had to go to the bathroom REALLY bad when I woke up. xD Explains why I had to keep using it in my dreams.)

Oct 30th '12:
I remember only one dream from last night, it started with me walking alone in the woods as I encounter an open field with a small hill in the middle.
I start walking around the hill, making it seem to grow untill it casts a shadow so big it covers me entirely.
Then around the endless corner a figure comes up to me and asks if I've seen what's on top of this hill I shake my head to say no and now curious to find out walk up the hill.
Now I can still feel the hill growing in height but it doesn't slow me down though as if the hill is growing under me and not above.
On top of the hill I see 7 young women sitting in a row behind each other, as if they're in a boat but there's no boat here.
Like the man I am I carefully examine every one of them, checking them out. All of them fine specimen all of them have beautifull hair that glows in the sunlight.
I also remember there were some trees.
But as soon as I complete the check up on the girls they stand up and music starts playing.

Now I must note I was experiencing this dream in a first person view but now the "camera" zooms out so it can see the following scene.
Yes, scene because what follows is a Fred Astaire-esque dance scene as if I were watching a movie I see myself dancing with all the ladies present. Without me noticing it though the group changed from 7 women to 6 at the beginning of the dance 3 at the middle of it and after the final I let the last one go and ended up alone again.
This didn't stop me from continueing my dance do.
Although the dance changed, it went from jazzy 50's 60's moves to a more, let's say, experimental type of dancing.
The music also changed to a more hard and violent sound.
I started to really let myself go, just moving al frustrations out of my body untill I came to rest.
In the distance further up the hill (aparently the hill grew in size again during my rage-dance) I suddenly spot one of those arbours.
From this point on the dream became very over the top. The whole situation became chaotic, the violent sounds were now defineable as a Linkin Park song, and while I was inside the arbour it became more and more crowded, then I noticed one of the bandmembers of Linkin Park joining everyone in the arbour.
After that all I remember is more noise, more crowd, and animals walking down alongside the hill.
The last thing I remember was throwing a chair at some pitchblack elephants.

Job Interview Lady

I went to apply for a job. I drove into a dirt parking lot. I was going a bit fast and was a little out of control; at the same time, I maneuvered obstacles quite in control.

I fine lady was going to interview me. As we introduce ourselves, I see I am not dressed right. My shirt is wrinkled and the buttons are not buttoned correctly, but she is OK with me, and I just tried to act like I'm the kind of guy she'd want working at the company.

A guy comes up and he is not as happy with me. All of a sudden we are in the lobby of a building. It is a large lobby with off-white marble flooring. There is glass all along the walls. It was a very clean look.

The man sees my belt which is not my dress belt. It is the style with two holes instead of one. The man doesn't like it. He asks if it is the name brand of a brand of sun glasses. If it were from that manufacturer, it would be a cheap and inappropriate style of belt.

I was again very self-conscious about my dress and started trying to tuck in my shirt better and try to tidy up my disheveled look.


This delicious woman takes me around a corner and she seems very personable to me, so I feel like everything will be OK. Then she was going to leave with the guy, maybe her boss. As they were leaving, I see little craft eyes on the floor. There were two, then four, then 6.

I wanted to pick them up to show initiative, but then there were like 100 of the little eyes. I started trying to sweep them up with my hands, but static electricity is making them stick to the floor. I decided I needed a brook.

Someone else starts sweeping them up with their hands, but I'm going to get a broom. A lady, acknowledging it was ridiculous, told me I had to go down the elevator to get to the broom closet to get the broom.

Then I see this lady again. I see her more vividly now. She trips to the floor and I'm looking at her face. She was so-o-o cute. She had short, brown hair. It fell loosely below her ears. She had a classic look but modern at the same time.

She was wearing a skirt, but then she only had see-through stockings. I looked and could kind of see her vag area, but I helped her up quickly. I felt very close to her, so I pulled her in and she gave me a kiss.

I couldn't believe I was with this woman. I walked away with my hand over my mouth in disbelief. Her friends told her to look at my reaction, and I knew it, but I couldn't stop. I was beside myself.

Great dream.

Hmmm, I guess I'm making progress with this Tulpa matter. I tried yesterday afternoon for maybe 15 minutes of going into the shower, no water running, closing the door, turning the lights off, complete darkness, and tried tulpaforcing.

I mean, I can SEE her image well with my eyes closed or opened, but she's not really "solidifying." Of course, I'm more focused on the distinct voice in my head more than the image, but I do try to practice both visualization and mental auditory stuff.

It was only my second day....or maybe my third? Gosh can't remember. Going to try random tulpaforcing today though, and in longer intervals.

Anyway...

10.30.2012

Enantiomers (Non-lucid)

NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID

Not really good dream recall for some odd reason, oh well.

I'm in a science class, and I realized it's similar to Organic Chemistry in a way. The classroom is fairly short for your usual lecture class that would occupy 200 students.

This one seemed to accommodate 20-30, and the flooring is all white, and so are the walls, though they're showing more of a faded look than the floor is. The professor has a projector screen up, and I believe he's using an overhead to with transparent slides that contain some information.

There were a few organic compounds, and it reminded me of Alkyne Synthesis that I was trying to do, but failed last night IWL. He was doing some weird stuff with arrow movements, and he popped a question that I can't recall too well.

I decided to take the chance, and try to just think on the fly with the answer, and it turns out I'm actually right, to some extent lol. He starts writing down that these compounds are Enantiomers, and circles it I think.