non-lucid

Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday.



I am in an unknown room that is about twice the size of our lounge room. It seems to be a public area, but only at certain times, resulting in ambiguity in also being our implied home. As a result, there are no associations with unknown people who are present at times as being intruders as in many other dreams. Also, everyone else in my dream remains cheerful except for the baby in the last scene.

There is a story in the background, unrelated to the main scenario, that relates to someone traveling by motorcycle. There is a video about it but I do not fully focus on it. There is also a point at which one of my dark-haired female teachers (implied only) from elementary school appears, though this character is actually unknown and unfamiliar.

I decide to get a haircut because I notice a few strands that are longer than they should be. I had just gotten a haircut in this place, but another one will be given. There is no association with money or paying for the service. I watch, apparently in a mirror, as long clusters from my otherwise short hair are combed out and cut, mostly from the back. The detail is very realistic.

After this, I look at my hair and hairstyle. I decide to comb my hair to the other side from how it was cut and styled. This makes it look slightly wrong, so I decide to get a third haircut.

A little later, I discover I have a short Mohawk and I have no hair at all on either side of it. I cannot work out what happened. I consider that I must have fallen asleep and that they had probably given me anesthesia without me realizing it (or even giving permission). I have no memory of any hair being cut this short or of a razor shaving my head on each side. (Even though questioning if I had fallen asleep is one of the most obvious dream state indicators possible, I do not question my present status of possibly being asleep and dreaming. As a haircut symbolizes the real-time dynamics of neural energy in REM sleep, having been “asleep” in my dream validates now having only a small amount of hair down the middle of the top of my head.) I am somewhat angry and self-conscious about this haircut but not that outwardly emotional or vocal about it. The unknown male who had apparently done this says it is the best haircut I could have for my face and that I look good. I consider this and decide that it might be okay to go out in public like this, as some men have no hair at all. I note how smooth the hairless areas of my head are, so it was a very good job on their part, as there were no accidental cuts either.

Only a short time later, I discover that my hair is as it was before I got the first haircut (though it is now longer than it is in real life). I am puzzled, yet I do not realize that this could only happen in a dream (and it symbolizes my emergent consciousness being more viable at this point, though the preconscious is never directly dominant or aggressive in this situation, though this was not my last dream of the day). I am trying to mentally resolve how they could have done this, but it does not seem possible (and I do not converse with them about this). On one level, I am glad my hair is as it was, but the mystery remains.

Meanwhile, there is an offset scenario where a baby seems to be having difficulty in remaining on stacks of books in a plastic storage box. He drops down into a couple rows of lower stacks on his left a few times (as the older boys place him back on the highest stacks each time) and cries about bumping down onto the books. Our youngest son and a few other boys are looking at the baby who I see in profile with his head oriented to the right of the scene. I make a comment to them about being careful with him, though he does not seem to be hurt.

---

Despite this being a perfect opportunity to become lucid, I do not. It almost seems like a subliminal experiment to test myself, as a haircut symbolizes associations with the level of neural energies in the dream state in real time (with no RAS activation, only a slight shift in levels of consciousness). The baby on the books in the storage box is a metaphor for critical thinking skills not being extant in the dream state. In fact, this is direct parallel symbolism analogous to my failure to realize my dream state by way of the impossible hair changes and real time neural energy dynamics and their level and length (length of time for emergent consciousness viability as a play on length of hair). (Dropping down onto a lower stack of books relates to decreasing dynamics of conscious self identity in the dream state despite this being near the end of my dream, though again, not the last dream of the sleeping period or with sustained wakefulness afterwards, which clarifies and validates this dual symbolism.)

---

I was working in the backroom of a retail store. My boss, Casey**, was there and we were the only two. There were two openings in the backroom the led into caverns. Casey wanted me to retrieve some kittens from the cavern. I do not remember what happened exactly when I was in the cavern but I do remember that I was able to acquire the kittens. The kittens were very intelligent and were able to learn tricks. We really liked having them around.

In a later dream fragment, I was attending college in England. I don't know why but they had to assign me to a girls dorm. I arrived late at night and my dorm mates were already asleep. The funny thing is, it wasn't so much a dorm as it was a two-story duplex. The place I was staying in consisted of a living room and a bathroom. We were to sleep on mattresses on the floor. There were two girls staying with me and they were already asleep. I was afraid of how they'd respond when they found a guy in their dorm. There was a mattress waiting for me. I walked over to it, lied down and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up before the girls did and looked around the room. The walls were wooden and the floor was covered with a purple shag carpet. Our dorm overlooked a beach and the big windows gave us a clear view. My roommates woke up soon after. One was surprised to find a guy sleeping in their dorm but the other explained that I would be staying with them. The took a moment to examine me and commented that I was "hot." Apparently, they were both warming up to the idea of having an "attractive" male in their dorm. I don't know why but this made me uneasy.

I left to use the bathroom then came back out to find that they were listening to a song by Slipknot (I don't remember which one). They were curious as to what the meaning of the song was and so I began to explain it to them. I woke up before I was done explaining.

**Casey (not her real name) is my boss IRL though we I actually work at the mall, not a retail store.

28/10/17
Dream 1: I was playing some kind of RPG where the world was being taken over by some dark force. At the same time I think I was a part of or listening to a podcast with Ben Shapiro and his wife, for some reason. The world I was saving got invaded by 3 different armies and which changed the weather in 3 different locations. I asked Ben for advice on how to fix this, and he ignored me for a bit and then his wife answered, so I changed the weather back to normal in those areas.

I was hiding (or my point of view was, I wasn't me) in the back of a freezer truck. You know, like a truck that transports meat. When the rear door closed, I remember this could be dangerous. Eventually the dream went into third person, and it was *REDACTED* who was left in the freezer. I was supposed to set her free but forgot. So I guess she froze to death. Good thing she can heal...?

At my parents house ..memorable bit was where my cat from when I was a kid returned from outside, like a frozen carpet.
I cuddled it till it got a little warmed up, it was a happy reunion, if a little teary.

Also girl with candfloss flame hair in my dream

27/10/17
Dream 1: I was at McDonalds with my brother, after driving around at night for a bit. We both got some food and then started working behind the counter. I noticed that one of my friends from high school was also working there and said hello to him. After a while I went into the change room and ended up slipping a bit and getting my foot stuck underneath the cubicle wall, and woke up feeling pretty stressed out about that lol.

I was in a garage on the nearby town's Main Street; it's not there IRL and then there was a small dog barking and I thought it was a bit confused about why nobody was listening to what it was saying.

I then moved in the air outside and found many bird nests along the "ceiling" and there were dead baby birds in at least two of them and there was mold growing on them. This bothered me and I went back to the ground right in front of a nearby doctor's office where 3 women were waiting; I by and by let them know about this without telling them what it was and I told them where to walk to be directly under the nest, again without telling them it was there. At some point a police officer in a bright green vest came by and someone said I didn't escape from a mental institution.

Before yesterday Dream

I don’t recall much but I remember a woman slowly putting her face close to mine as a sign of comfort.In a motherly way. She told me that she was here now and it was after I followed a group of people toward a theatre, casually talked with the kids and ate with them.It was also suppose to be around the time Jesus was on earth.



Yesterday Dream

I don't recall much of the beginning now but I remember being on the floor and slowly becoming aware it was a dream.When I became fully lucid I decided to connect with Dawn and thought of him. I than felt myself shift from the dream setting to a white void like place where Dawn was but in a bluish purplish form.(Someone else was nearby as well) Kind of like looking through a heat sensing lens.I pressed my cheek on his cheek and felt it was hot as I try to merge with him but than I stop myself and pulled away. Returning to the former setting.

Last Night Dream

After becoming semi lucid I was with a group of people and suddenly a dc changed into the form of a muscular Roman. He ripped off apart of his beard and told me “for the blood of our forefathers”. I moved away from him but than a random dc took out a gun from the direction I was walking in. First he shot someone than came after me. I tried going in the ground but he still shot at me multiple times. I felt head pressure but didn’t want to let the dc have the upper hand so I thought of myself becoming as strong as the avatar. The avatar ended up splitting from me and unleashed some type of power I couldn’t see.A false awakening happened after that.

2017, 10-27

The Dark Tower – Split Timelines

I am at a campsite. It is dark out, and I am there with several other people. I see Roland, Eddie, Susanna, and MoSh. Roland seems to be having some difficulty. He says he’s going crazy. I remember in the books this is the result of a paradox orchestrated by the man in black. Roland is telling stories, one that he says is real and one that he says was supposed to be real. I do not interrupt his telling. Mosh also stays quiet during this time. Although he seems a bit distracted. I wonder if he sees something out in the darkness. Those strange cloaked figures maybe… After Roland has finished his story, Eddie gets part of the concept correct. He draws a line at the beginning for the timeline before Roland met Jake. Then he skips a space and draws a line after Roland parted ways from Jake. He draws a circle in the middle and says that that is what we’re going to has to just ignore. Roland says that won’t work. He can’t just ignore it. I tell Eddie I can add a bit more detail to this.

I set to drawing in the circle. I draw the two separate lines that represent the two separate timelines that now exist. I point to the one on top and say this is the timeline where you met Jake. I point to the one on the bottom and say this is the timeline where you did not meet Jake. Both of these things are true at the same time. The only thing that got it all fucked up was the man in black. I draw a few extra things on the timeline. I draw the door where he met Eddie, the door where he met Susanna, and last the door where he interfered with Jack Mort. I tell him at this point, the man in black created the paradox by arranging for him to save Jake. This is where Jake was transported to his world. But he prevented that. So then I draw a line backwards to where he had met Jake. And I don’t technically he’s on the wrong timeline right now. He has memories of the other timeline because he experienced it, but he’s on this one so he’s also got memories of this timeline now.

He says the only thing that keeps him arguing in his mind about this is the jawbone that he took from the man in black. He throws the jawbone into the fire. It flares up as if it was made of something flammable. Eddie stares into the fire, and I remember that he is now seeing the shape of the key that he will need to help properly draw Jake back into this world. That will fix the timeline. But that doesn’t seem to have eliminated Roland’s issue. I tell him that I think I can help with it, but the only way to fix it permanently will be to fix the timeline. He asked how to do that, and I said it is coming in the future. I feel that it is. I actually know that it is. So I use the song on Roland to help stabilize his mind which is the same one I taught Eddie to use on Susanna. My last breath by Evanescence.

“Hold on to me love, you know I can’t stay long. All I wanted to say is I love you and I’m not afraid.” I have taken a hold of Roland’s hand, and he seems now focused completely on me. “Can you hear me? Can you feel me in your heart?” Now Roland is holding onto me, he actually has tears coming from his eyes. Frustration? I’m not sure. “I know you hear me, I can taste it in your tears. Closing your eyes to disappear, you pray your dream won’t leave you here. And now you’ll wake to know the truth, he still there. Say good night, don’t be afraid. Call on me, call on me we can face the night. Say good night, don’t be afraid.” That seems to have Roland in a more focused state when the song is over. Now we can present him with facts. Eddie remembers Roland telling him about traveling through the mountains alone. Without Jake. But both MoSh and I remember Jake. So obviously he is real. Susanna can’t say either way, she hasn’t heard any of this before.

I was sitting in a garden (I assume it was the garden of our old house, but it felt different), looking out over the landscape. The landscape was one of rolling green hills, and a very cloudy, grey sky. The air felt very humid but cool. I was admiring that I was on Earth, as other worlds are mostly dry, barren and devoid of atmosphere or life. Debby, my father's wife, walked past me.

Then things got pretty horrific. I saw a transforming 'Thing' in the house. You know, like the monsters from 'The Thing'. My character (I was no longer myself, and I was now watching 'my' character as if I was just a camera) shot it with his gun, and assumed it was dead. As he left the house, the Thing grabbed him by his leg with one of its tentacles, and dragged him back inside. While being dragged, I saw a shotgun on the ground between him and the monster. He grabbed the shotgun but didn't shoot (?). He got bitten by one of the Thing's many mouths. That's when I woke up. The monster had features of various animal species. It had the head of a whale, tentacles, and features of a few other land animals. But all horribly deformed and 'unfinished'.

Morning of October 27, 2017. Friday.



I am back in the Loomis Street house (where I have not been since February 1994) and sitting in the armchair (recliner) my brother-in-law Bob usually sat in (though my relatives are not present). A few unfamiliar people are present as well as my wife Zsuzsanna (though younger).

There is an unknown male sitting at the dining room table (west end). I am reading articles in a number of different magazines over time. They are older magazines, possibly from the late 1960s, and I find them interesting. I look for articles of a similar theme or series but cannot seem to find all the ones I want to read after I find the first article as “perfect”.

Eventually, I hear music, and sing perfectly (that is, I correctly sing all the lyrics) along with it.

“You crawl along the sand, and over twisted hand, but you cannot find your way, while that gull up in the air, he’s gonna circle there, and then he’s gonna fly away…”

“And you see the fog move in, and it blankets the shore, but it can’t blanket sin, and so as long as you’re going to stay, down on the sand that way, you are never gonna win…”

“You build a driftwood fire, and as the flames grow higher, they don’t help you find your way, for the smoke burns your weary eyes, and then you start to cry, and crying only blurs the way…”

“And you see the fog move in…”

The unknown male makes some sort of sarcastic comments about the music, indicating he does not like it. For some reason, I assume he is a religious zealot of some kind.

“That was one of my favorite songs when I was a boy,” I say. “I don’t care what you think.” I then call him a few rude names. “You like to control people and make them like you,” I continue, “with your religious beliefs…”

I tell him that he should like the song because it has the word “sin” in it, and he is the type to complain about other people “sinning” (aka “enjoying life”) based on his own failures. I start talking more loudly, saying how his main purpose seems to be to control other people’s minds. I call him more rude names. I tell him I do not like pop music.

Eventually, I realize that he has gotten up from sitting at the table and has somehow become only about five inches tall (apparently due to my yelling at him). He is running around in an open area on the south side of the room, where the bay window is no longer present as the house is directly open to the side yard. There is an analog television there (directly where the wall would otherwise be), but of which is mostly hollow. He scurries in and out of it zigzagging around that area as a young version of Zsuzsanna looks on. I perceive this would-be preacher as the homeless male (though not a hippie) living on the beach. I realize that I have yelled at him enough, as he might disappear completely if I continue, and I do not want to be responsible for eliminating someone that controls other people’s minds even if I am free of such influence. From here, I wake.

---

This is the second time recently when the preconscious has atypically been rendered as very small, the other instance being in “Another ‘Supernatural’ Adventure” from the 25th of this month, though this time under my command, which is very rare (though happened in “War of the Serpents” from September 1969 when I took control of RAS and put the upright moving snake, the most dynamic RAS waking trigger, back to sleep and then carried it like a baby). The hollow television symbolizes being in the dream state without a potential for cohesive continuity (which acknowledges there is “no more picture”, similar to the small living idols mimicking the falling or sliding hypnopompic waking trigger in my last “Supernatural” dream), though it is curious how this song came to mind, as I have not heard it in a long time. These dreams seem to be the result of reflecting upon a few times in the past (as I had planned on writing about it in more detail soon) when I had apparent control over RAS to avoid the waking start. Direct control over RAS in non-lucidity is probably ill-advised, though it seems to only result in oversleeping and sometimes mild nausea (the same as with fainting I guess, since RAS is involved with both, though I have never fainted in my life).

---

As far back in this dream I can remember there was a winter outdoors scene with a pond. I don't remember what happened in this scene or before it.
I then find myself in a very old looking video game with my best friend and a mutual friend of ours. The video game is a very bare open dungeon with liches and zombies and such basic monster, with modern public style bathrooms that you'd find in an mall or something.
I seemed to have been afk from this game for some time as I had 94 orbs of (something or other) and very few other items. Either my character picked them up automatically or my friends were storing excess items on my character while I was away. I try to start figuring out the game. I've got no real weapons so I pick up some stuff off the ground that the others had thrown away. I end up using a +6 iron pickaxe but I was wondering if maybe I should be using the +4 steel scimitar. My reasoning being a steal items should be better then an iron one and it would make more sense that the scimitar would have a higher attack speed, though I saw no visible attack speed shown on the item specs. I look through my items to see if I have anything useful, I read one items that makes fur grow in an area that repels most low level monsters.

I later find myself in a tv show with the main character. It seems that the show was some generic zombie type. The main character is talking to me giving me the rundown of how things work around there. I wasn't really paying attention, not having much interest in this scene or participating in it. I think about telling him how this was a dream, only remembering it for myself for a short time, but I opt to say that this world and him aren't real, it's just a simulation. The zombies show up and I say the simulation should run normally and leave me alone if I stay out of the main scene and run off away from the action not being in the mood for zombie killing.
I find myself up against the wall of a building, my best friend and his girlfriend are there as well as a fictional friend I've never met before. She was a bit on the heavy side and not the most interesting personality but over all not irritating either. The other two were giving her some shit for doing something like sneaking her ex bf her period blood into prison. I wasn't about to back her on something so weirdly gross, my reaction being "uh.. yeah, that's pretty gross." At this point I've forgotten completely that this was a dream.
We leave the tv show and go back to reality. I find myself at a party at someone's house I'm not familiar with but it's a nice atmosphere, I recognize some people there, and the residents of the house were really nice and attractive as well. They were a pair of sisters, one being between 14 and 16 years old maybe in a green shirt with A cups poking through quite prominently despite their size, and the other somewhere in her mid 20's, wearing in a sweater. The younger sister was looking for her lost video card (though usually I'd refer to it as a graphics card) and I offer to help since she actually seemed pretty distressed about it and had been nice since this scene started. The older sister ask why am I helping and I say I'd help anyone who was nice if it was a problem I could help with. I'm sure the older sister is wondering but not concerned if I had any intentions with her sister, and she accepts my answer and goes on about whatever she was doing, saying: "good, then I don't have to help her find it this time". I'm now wondering how often can someone lose a graphics card and why does this happen? Though I'd probably recognize it if I saw it I thought I'd start with the basics. "What does it look like/what model type is it?" she doesn't answer me, instead she seems to be mumbling to herself/thinking out loud incoherently in what I assume is a internal contained panic. I try to get her to calm down and sit down on the floor and ask her to come sit and tell me about the situation and such. I fail to make any headway though I felt like earlier she had been more articulate. Her sister comes in and tries to help. She's going to google the model to show me what it looks like. Her computer is ancient and she puts in a floppy disk for some reason. Both sisters are seeming much weirder than earlier, the younger one seeming autistic and the older one being merely very odd.

D1 - I remember wandering around a coastline with a child.

D2 - On an aeroplane the captain was an evil lady who killed my best friend. I was powerless to stop her as she stabbed her with a wicked curved knife.
I regained my usual dream powers and turned back time, the corpse was under a blood soaked cloth but as time went back all the blood drained back into the body and it mended (though couldnt see it was under cloth).
My friend was back to life and I brainwashed lady to crash her car on the freeway.
I also remember changing someones hair to white so they looked a bit like a poodle then straightened their wonky teeth.

24 October 2017

We began at Patty's Pub. I was observing what appeared to be a budding relationship between an adult Angelica Pickles and an older gentleman whom I will name "Jenkins." Angelica seemed to be happy in the relationship and everyone agreed that they were a good fit. Jenkins' extended family was there with them and they could not be happier. Though I would soon learn that Angelica did not share this sentiment. I witnessed her in the back room, freaking out over the prospect of being in a relationship with this man. In truth, she was disgusted by him and wanted out. There was a problem, though. Angelica felt that she could not just break it off, for some reason, she felt that she had to make him out to be a monster, assuring that she would be completely justified in her decision to break up with Jenkins. I watched as Angelica went out and accused Jenkins of sexually assaulting her.

Later we were at some sort bookstore in a mall. At that point, everyone had heard the stories that Angelica was spreading about Jenkins. Thankfully, no one within the family believed her. The entire family was supportive of Jenkins. Unfortunately, Angelica knew that this family would discredit her so she decided that she would discredit the entire family. I suddenly found myself observing the events through Jenkins' eyes. I could even hear his thoughts as he walked throughout the video store, seeing the damage that Angelica was doing. Angelica had sparked fights among the family members and now rifts were starting to form. Not only that but Angelica's accusation had had a negative impact on his personal life. I could hear him thinking, "I thought I had found a nice girl but she turned out to be a psychopath!" I began to feel angry for Jenkins as he continued to walk through the store. He could only watch helplessly as family members turned on one another. Over and over again, Jenkins just kept thinking to himself, "That girl is a psychopath! That girl is a psychopath!"

Sometime later, I was myself again. I was no longer experiencing the world through Jenkins' eyes. Word had spread of what had happened and people had come together to help Jenkins expose Angelica as the narcissist she is. I remember that Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were both there. I don't remember what the plan was exactly but I do remember what was involved. We were in a small blue theatre within the bookstore. The room was dark except for the bright blue light that was emanating from the screen. I was helping the team tape what appeared to be a line of security cameras connected by a single cord onto the wall. Once everything was set up we all hid in the back and waited for Angelica to show up. I may not remember what we had prepared for her but I do remember the sense of anticipation that filled the room. I couldn't wait to see the look on Angelica's face when we finally got her. Just a few more moments....

Sadly, I would never see our plan come to fruition. I was awoken by mom as she entered the living room. I lay on the couch and groan, upset that I would not get to see how this story ended. Little did I know that this was only the beginning. My mom left the room and I drifted back to sleep. I reentered the dream realm and found myself standing outside the mall where Jenkins and Angelica were.

And so the story continues...

So this dream was a long one, I don't have time to get it all down now. I decided to split it into two parts. I'll post part two later.

I'm going through some outdoor space. It's full of boxes, cardboard, stuff laying around. I'm chasing someone and I'm climbing over thing thinking proudly how good I'm at that and that I finally get to do it.

There are some bunnies. One got separated and I want to close the gate so it doesn't go out on the street, but I see rest of his group is there, so I let him go. They are brown, white,... so cute.

I'm outside, and I look up. Nothing at first, but stars come to view, shooting star, formations of stars... I feel the strongest feeling of happiness. I cry or almost cry from seeing such beauty. I also know, that those things appeared only after I kinda wished for them to appear, and I'm satisfied with that knowledge.