non-lucid

Lost all my dream recall when I woke up today due to being freaked out! It was a non-lucid though. I woke up & I looked like I had been beat up by Rocky Balboa! I had to get up early to get around for Grandparents day & I looked in the mirror & both my eyes were almost swollen shut! And I have a cold sore on my mouth. I was so freaked out I just didn't care about my dreams anymore. I just cared about making the swelling go down & using make up & a hair do that would hide any traces of this awful reality! I used ice packs which helped considerably. I think I was having a reaction to one of my meds. Sometimes if I take one of them too close together it causes this problem but I was desperate to keep the cold sore at bay & took more than I should. But most of the day was good. Poor Bubba's first Grandparents day was a bust cuz he woke up puking & had to stay home which is sad, but I bought him a candy gram while I was there for him so he'll get it on Monday when all the other kids get there's.... I don't know what my daughter fed Booga, but I could smell her farting the whole time, rotflmao! I sprayed her w/ my perfume halfway through. Grandma to the rescue! We had fun making stuff w/ playdough & another game.... She's in first grade & I saw a kid in there that was almost as tall as me! He will probably be a line backer!... Anyway, my day turned out good... I said The Lords Prayer holding my cross necklace before I went in so that in itself made me feel better about how things would go... Also Booga wants us to dress alike for Halloween so I think the whole Clown Costume may be seen in double, lol.

Last night bed 8pm - 3:30am

I recalled this dream as soon as I sat in my car on my way home from work and was about to buckle my seat belt.


DR:
I'm sitting in a luxury sedan. All white interior, everything leather. Looks brand new, shiny, beautiful. I see the driver stepping on the breaks frantically, but they dont work. I look down and I'm not buckled. He says we are about to crash. The force of innertia is making it hard for me to move, and everything is in slow motion, as I race time to reach for a belt and buckle up if even just a second before we hit the wall. Not sure if I made it on time.

I was in my house, it was a sunny and warm day. I was in a kitchen with my grandma. Some hornets flied into the room and stung grandma in her hand a few times - a bubble appeared on it and exploded. Then an enormous swarm, hundreds of thousands of hornets flying all around the house. I escorted grandma to safety, took a bug-killer spray and ran back in an attempt to kill them. I ony got to stairs and sprayed few hornets, but bug-killer was ineffective and huge amounts of it was required to kill just a few. I escaped and met rest of my family. They called exterminators and firefighters to get out house hornet-free.

Morning of September 9, 2016. Friday.



My wife Zsuzsanna, our children, and I as we are now are living in an unfamiliar first-floor apartment. There is a very large window from floor to ceiling that is about ten feet in width. This window is at an angle to the rest of the room (though not like a bay window) and to the left of the front door of our place.

I look out onto a sight that appears to be in early evening. It seems to be very close to where the Statue of Liberty should be, so close, I would only have to walk about ten feet to get to the pedestal, though I am wondering what happened to it. There are a few people walking around but there is no Statue of Liberty or its pedestal. There are a few pieces of it here and there on each side of my window view and I get the notion that they are rebuilding it to make it stronger and to last longer. It does not occur to me that we do not live in America and certainly not near the Statue of Liberty.

Later, I go to lie down on the couch which has been pulled out into a bed and is near the center of the large unfamiliar room. Shortly after I do, an unknown young male starts to move it. In fact, he even rolls it over so that I go upside-down as well as feel it sandwich me a bit though I somehow stay on it even when I should have fallen out. The sensations of touch, pressure, and motion are very realistic.

Eventually, I slide out from the couch onto the floor as he is moving and rolling it about and I start yelling at him, cursing at him and calling him rude names. I kick him out of our apartment while telling him never to come back.

---

The unknown young male is the preconscious personification of RAS (reticular activating system) modulation (modulation, as my emergent consciousness did not establish control until my dream’s last event). This is a biological factor of the dreaming and waking process that has nothing to do with waking life.


The Statue of Liberty scene is based on having been in deeper sleep, with the analogy of physicality being “rebuilt”, my dream sustained by a minor thread of non-lucid dream control. A statue is autosymbolism for the physical body not moving while in REM sleep. In this case, my waking process needed an extra boost from the preconscious, which is additionally validated by vestibular system correlation being more sustained than usual regarding the movement of my illusory dream body, as there was curiously no falling start.

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Very naughty dream. I was getting freaky with a pretty ASMR artist from Youtube. It all felt quite real, and I did things I never thought I'd consider in real life.

Again just some fragments:

1) In some sort of car showroom. A car is being raffled a huge queue of people has built up. I need to get in a car to go somewhere and have to wait in the queue. Then I'm in a car being driven with some friends and we are told that we are going to a youth club, we don't want to go there so get out of the car.

2) In a lounge. I'm putting an old vinyl record on and have hooked it up to record it on CD. The record player is very odd with a green sculpture on top of it with snakes.

3) In some sort of canteen I get some food and go to sit down but there is nowhere to sit. I spot a place and ask if I can sit there, the person next to it looks a bit irritated but says yes I pull the chair out and there are some flowers under it which I have to move. Then I'm in a kitchen, someone is in a wheelchair and I try not to ignore them. His wheelchair is very high tech, and he has a strange cap on which has a zip up bag in the back, he puts a coat into it and zips the bag up.

» I'm a spectator. I see the tarmac of an airport from the side. Meanwhile I hear an explanation being given. There's a sort of rocket ship, with a plane attached on top of it. It's taking off, but at a slow pace. The explanation is that the Dutch rapper Sevn Alias has funded/invented this. It allows for a plane to take off cheaper and faster than with the currently accepted method. The rocket ship flies slowly above water, to my surprise dives in, resurfaces and then the plane detaches and takes off. The rocket ship stays put for a bit, before flying back, using vertical thrusters. That was.. an usual way to take off. Also, is Sevn Alias really already that rich that he can afford this?!

» This dream is all over the place. I'm near an airport and see an Indonesian girl working at an office. She's not satisfied with her job, because her boss gave a crazy assignment. She has to write a certain number of pages on a topic, which she considers a crazy amount. She is wearing a black skirt and a striped shirt. The office is open, as in no walls. Somehow the info reaches me that I will be taking a trip to Maluku. I think it's business, because it will be paid for. I look up flight information. The quickest flight has 1 stopover. The total flight time is 24 hours. What the hell?! It's quicker to fly back to the Netherlands. Also I think I will shit my pants if I have to fly for 24 hours, considering Indonesia's poor safety record.

» I'm sitting in my dormitory living room, together with a few guys. We're eating grapes. I take 3, one of them smaller than the other two. I start juggling them, to the amusement of the other guys.

» I'm in a street in the Netherlands. I'm in the old car of my ex' brother. I'm not sure what I did exactly anymore. Park it all over the place?

» It's night and I'm with my cousin and my little brother. My brother and I are inside a vehicle that's seems like a crossover between a double decker bus and a rolling restaurant. Downstairs is the 'restaurant' section, upstairs I think the bedrooms and what not. I've pretty much locked up for the night. My cousin shows up. We talk for a while. He's planning to go somewhere. I think I tell him to be responsible and don't stay out too late, or something along those lines. At the end of the dream the vehicle is out of control. It keeps moving down the street towards an intersection and no matter how hard I try to break, it keeps going. Eventually we collide with a car. Fuck.

If I dream about cars they rarely/never seem to have functional brakes.

I'm Jimin. I have to solve a bunch of puzzles inside Grandpa's house in order to get to Jungkook. Finally I manage to solve all of the puzzles and end up in a bed. In the bed I'm scared and it feels like I had just had a nightmare. I call out to Jungkook and he appears in bed next to me. We hug each other tight and fall asleep.

I had this weird dream where I moved into a new house & Barbara Jean was there from the tv show "Reba" was there too. She was my neighbor & she didn't act all goofy like on that show.

Then I woke up & thought, damn it I didn't become lucid to do the TOTM! While getting ready for today I was sitting on my bed watching Meesha Cat. She was looking at something & then tried to bat at it. Her eyes went wild & big & she froze. Then she tore out of the room like the house was on fire & left a puddle of pee on my bed... Just FYI, she isn't experiencing some sick cat problem, she is fine. But today I told Mike I thought she has being Dioji. My dog Dioji died in 2008 in a freak pool accident when it was being drained. He was chasing the little puppies & it just happened. I was a mess mourning for 2 yrs over my dog. He was there for me through my last surgery & was glued to me. He was so attached to me that when I would lay down during the day, he would lay next to me, kick me & keep tapping my hand until I held his paw like we were holding hands while we slept. He did this a lot! Very smart dog. After his death both me & my husband have seen him in our house at various times & I saw him just the other day right here in my room where he normally appears. We both think Meesha sees him but just doesn't know how to react to him. He loved our cat Xan & would only try to play w/ another family pet. But that now would explain why she is peeing on my bed. Mystery solved. Yet I still think she must have a bladder problem of some kind though. When she goes for her checked up I'll see what the vet thinks. Even then there isn't a lot u can do for that issue for a cat, unless I hit the lottery in the near future, lol.

This was a pretty good night. Despite waking up in the early morning and having trouble falling asleep after the WBTB, I eventually did and had some dreams. I'm a bit confused about the two first dreams as they happen in the same place and I don't recall the order of events, but I know I became lucid after one of those fragments. I also suspect that I dreamed about my grandmother's apartment because I visualized myself getting lucid in there during my WBTB (I had two, one in which I didn't become lucid, perphaps because the wbtb was too short and another one in the early morning which is when I had these dreams).

Birthday Party:

In this fragment, I was in my grandmother's appartment and some guests arrived. I think they were supposed to be my brother's friends, tough I've never seen them before. After that there was a birthday party (I think my brother's) and it was pretty grand. They showed a video on a huge TV of a bunch of people that were there on the party with slow, emotional music. Then it started showing people that were outside the appartment. The first one was a couple (one of my friends and some girl I don't know) having a romantic time on the roof at night, smiling at the camera. At this time I was kinda confused, asking myself if my grandparents set up cameras everywhere on the building. It showed even people that were outside the building, on the streets! At this time I started thinking it was a bit creepy and perhaps illegal and was hoping they hadn't filmed me when I was in the bedroom wearing only shorts (before I got ready for the party). Something else might have happened, but I can't remember much aside from small fuzzy details about this fragment.

Incendiary Mouse:

I am unsure if this is the same dream, it might have happened after or before the above one. I was again in my grandma's apartment, but this time theere weren't any guests, just the usual people. I was in the living room, I remember my uncle being there doing something and maybe my grandma. I made my way to the kitchen, which is connected to the living room and when I got there I saw a mouse and began to freak out, thinking if I should kill it or call someone. I decided to run back and tell my uncle about it, but the mouse ran past me into the living room. It then ran outside the appartment (there's a door that goes out of the living room into a tiny space usually used for storing stuff, there is a grate there that leads outside the appartment and into a hall which is usually closed). My uncle followed it and tried to stomp it. While he was trying to kill it, I closed the door to make sure it didn't get back in.

Not sure exactly what happened here, I think I went into another room and when I came back into the living room my uncle was holding a cat and then put it down. I guessed he was going to try to use the cat to hunt the mouse, and eventually the mouse appeared and the cat caught it and killed it. Instead of blood, some transparent liquid with a very slight red color to it dripped from it and started forming a pool. The cat walked on the liquid and started spreading it everywhere, making a mess (meanwhile I was kinda freaking out because I found the scene disgusting). For some reason... the cat's pawns started catching on fire and I started freaking out even more. I figured this liquid could heat up things and start fires. Small fires appeared in other places where the liquid touched, but they didn't last long. I remember there was a child crying (no idea who that child was) because she got some of that liquid in her face. While trying to help her, she got some on me and my skin started to burn. I told her to go to the bathroom wash her face. Again, the details are a bit fuzzy but this is the last I remember of this dream.

Mirror Teleportation (Lucid)

Eventually after the events of one of those dreams (at least I think this lucid is connected to one of them), I found myself wandering to my grandfather's bedroom and thinking about something that confused me. I don't remember exactly what it was, just that it was kinda bothering me. After thinking for a bit and mumbling to myself, I remember thinking "... the only explanation to that would be... oh, of course.". As I realized I was dreaming, I smiled while I tought about how my RCs during the day and MILD during the WBTBs helped me carry my awareness into the dream. I felt pretty smart at that time too for realizing I was dreaming.

I tought about what to do, saw a big mirror and tought "Ah, why not?". By the way, I have always struggled with entering mirrors in dreams. I have tried a few times and failed. However, this time I was feeling pretty confident for some reason and just did it. At first, there was resistance, but I kinda felt it giving away and eventually went through it. The best way I can describe the feeling is like this: try to imagine yourself pushing your finger into some plastic wrap. Eventually your finger will tear it apart, but in this case I went through the mirror without tearing it, as if I was entering some liquid with a high density. When I got through, I found myself in a mirrored version of the same room, except with some furniture missing. I quickly realised I went through the mirror without a destination in mind, so I tried coming up with something. The first thing I tought about, for some reason, was meeting a cartoon character called Star. With that in mind, I went through the same mirror I came in through and ended in some kind of office.

I was walking around, looking for Star and asking people about her. Apparently she had a pretty important position in the office, like a boss or something (which is pretty off-character for her) and people were trying to get a hold of her. Eventually I met her, altough I don't remember anything that we talked about. I remember some witch chasing us through a hall (which looked like the school I went to) and I was trying to find her wand, by sticking my hand inside bags (not opening them up, just straight-up phasing my hand inside then, apparently that's a good way to conjure stuff up) but none of the wands that I found were right. We managed to escape eventually and I remembered another goal that I had, which was to visit a place I created in waking life and I told Star I had to go because I had some stuff to do. I woke up when I entered a mirror.

I tried my best not to move and to calm down as I woke up (I don't think this was an FA, but it might have been). I felt some weird sensations similar to numbness and eventually found myself in my dream again, this time in a huge shopping mall. The first thing that came to me was... looking for porn. I wasn't particularly horny, I think I was just curious to see what I would find. I began looking around for the porn section (kinda like some rental stores have adult sections) and started asking some employees. The first one was a woman who grabbed my hand and yelled "Teleport!", teleporting me to someone else (I don't know how to describe the feeling of being teleported... but the way she teleported was kinda like the "instant transmission" from Dragon Ball) who could help me find it. The other employee grabbed me by my hand and started leading me around, altough to be honest he didn't seem so sure about where it was. I yelled "Teleport!" and he teleported just like that woman. After walking around for a bit I realized that I was wasting time looking at porn while I could be going to the place I created. I entered a small shop which had some mirrors and entered one of them. The place I wanted to go was a big, sorta japanese-oriented house that almost looked like a big japanese shrine, which a big frontyard, so as I entered the mirror I tought about the frontyard's grass.

As I went through the mirror I found myself at a huge, grassy frontyard and became excited, until I realized I was in front of some manor/mansion at night (in retrospect, it looked a lot like the white house, maybe a bit bigger). I turned back and saw two people on a table (I think they Barney and Ted from "How I Met Your Mother") talking about something. I ignored them and welp up some stairs leading to a big glass door which ressembles the one at the entrance of the building where my grandparents live. I went into the glass door as I did with the mirrors (I guess anything with a reflection will do) and ended up in another backyard, altough this one looked unkept and was behind an old wooden house I could see in the distance. I tought "Alright, I'll try one more time..." and went back into the mirror, maybe going to one more place which I can't remember and eventually the dream faded away. I tried getting back into the dream but I felt that I was too awake to go back.

This was a pretty cool night and I feel like I'm getting more and more lucid dreams! The MILD method has really been helping a lot when I do it right, altough I think I should start doing longer WBTB's because these days, whenever I go back to bad during a WBTB, I'm still really sleepy, like at the point where I can barely keep my eyes open. However, I have no idea how to keep myself occupied during the WBTB and fear that I won't be able to sleep if I stay up too long (which in turn will result in me laying in bed, tossing around until morning trying to sleep, which I REALLY don't want). Guess I'll start measuring how much time I stay up and trying to increment it a little by little. I also learned how to use mirrors and another way to summon objects, which is pretty cool.

I felt funny. This was definitely a dream. I was in a huge empty room with white walls and plain grey pillars. There was a ledge, and on top I noticed a woman. "It's M," I thought, attempting to make her appear. And it actually worked, it was her. She climbed down from the ladder. Her hair was long and wavy, a shade of reddish brown. She was wearing a white top and light blue pants. Desperately, I asked her, "WHAT DOES THE DREAM MEAN?!?" She replied with, "Re-birth." I said, "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??" and she replied with something I don't remember, but I didn't understand her answer at all. I looked down and noticed she was pregnant. She said one more thing that I don't remember and then I lost the dream. I then had sleep paralysis. I tried to move but couldn't, but remained calm because I knew what this was. So I just kind of laid there until I was able to wake myself up.

Notes: Well, Okay. This is the closest I've come in years, so I suppose that's progress. But what does "re-birth" mean? And was that really M? She was pregnant so that doesn't really make sense.
I want to try again in my next lucid, but this time go to the actual place of the dream, my old home, on my driveway.

I was in my aunt's house and this lady was super angry with me because she thought I did something(like disrespect her dead husband or something). As more time went by, she started getting furious. She started taking my things, my phone, my clothes, and putting them in the room where she was. She was turning evil, and it was freaking me the fuck out. So I ran out of there, down the street. I saw a sketchy looking guy and said, "PLEASE, CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE? I NEED TO CALL 911 RIGHT NOW" and he gave me a weird look, said "sure" and thew his phone at me. It was a Samsung and I had no idea how to use it(things are difficult in dreams, okay?) I realized that he had stolen the phone and was trying to get rid of it, so I didn't touch it. I kept running until I saw a man, Hurley from Lost, in a convenience store. I said, "CAN I BORROW YOUR PHONE??" and at first he said no, so I said, "PLEASE, I NEED TO CALL 911. YOU CAN EVEN DIAL IT FOR ME" So he dials 911 but lets me press "call" and at first I hear static, then a woman's voice. "HELLO?" I say, my voice shaking and scared. She says something like, "It's okay. I understand what you are going through. You'll be okay through this." Like what? I didn't even tell her my problem! So anyhow, I told her but then woke up.

D1 - Beautiful large black and brown bordered tarot cards are being used to play a game, I am at a loss as how to play. I am told by a self assured blond man who is the dealer that I should use the cards that match based on electricity. The cards have electricity flashing across them.
I meet a guy outside this tavern and talk about something.

D2 - [Repeating work dream] At a workplace I am talking to my boss and explaining that an invoice has been accepted as the company is a professional business and not a small personally run operation. We are standing next to a giant printer (used to have one like this at work, the width of a large desk, with a glass top). A printout comes through and it become apparent that I have missed a deadline for some paperwork (24th Sept). My boss is unimpressed and I go off to see what paperwork is missed. I find I only have a few things in my tray not processed.

D3 - Walking down a street I am blocked by a load of people. I step up to each person and place my hand on their forehead, one by one and use my powers to turn them into my minions. They turn around and head in the direction I want them. They are all wearing suits and look old.

D4 - Walking through a darkened bookshop shop, looks like Waterstones. I am looking at small glass boxes like old fashioned carriage clocks with white lines of lightning running across them.
On trying to leave I find the exit is blocked by a large grey boulder and have to squeeze back through and past a queue of people at the checkout.
I see some people through the large glass plate window of the shop. I see they are doing something I do not think is right, so I use my powers to step through the glass. On the other side I see one young woman has blond hair and one has black hair. They have the audacity to ignore my remonstrations and I try to use the same mind control on them by placing my hand on their foreheads but it does not work (LOL).

D5 - Outside a house there are little fluffy yellow chicks in a grassy backyard in the countryside. I use my powers to round them up and bring them indoors, unfortunately there are a load of black curly headed dogs in the house. I use my powers to get the dogs out but then the chicks escape! So I have to start again.

[Comments]
The dark seems to represent unsurprisingly shadow elements
I have been in a dilema about these in my life for quite some time.
I see now from one dream I had where there was a woman who had a twin, one blond and one dark haired that infact that both are incorporated into me and I don't have to make an external choice only be more accepting of that which is within me and allow it an outlet.

Large plate window and grassy banks are also repeated dreamscape idk what thats about exactly.

Last night bed 12am

Bad dream
I walk into a room to see if a person is still sleeping. The ceiling fan is going really fast, faster than it should. The room is dark, just a bit of light coming through closed blinds. I flip the switch to shut it off, but it goes even faster. I can feel the air on my face. I know some entity is doing it and there is no way I'm gonna go into the room to check on this person.

Later on
Latin America. Drug lord is caught and his people are lined up at the wall. I am one of them but I'm also shooting them with an assault rifle. There are old people and women in there and I figure that government soldiers are trying to wipe the slate clean. Now I am the druglord, I walk out with my hands up, holding some paper and somehting else in my hand and they are about to shoot me.

Some kind of a theater, stadium seating. We are getting away from there. Me an 3-4 others are escaping through a city. Dodging police, busting holes in the wall to get through, creating distractions, looking at the faces in the crowds to be vigilant of those that want to stop us.

After we get to where we were going, we need to get back. This was getting tireing.

Poor recall (early work day)

1) Watching some new flying machine through a window. It seemed to be failing to gain height. I was telling someone that if I was flying it I would just land and give up but it looked like the pilot was determined and would kill himself. Then the machine crashed and there was a huge explosion.

2) In my grandmothers house. I was cleaning and saying that she was hardly ever there any more - I think I meant that she was always in hospital.

I forgot to take my dream journal to bed last night so forgot most of my dreams before being able to write them down.

7/9/16
Dream 1: There was a big anti-jewish protest outside some elite private school. Patrick Dangerfield was there heckling people and other protesters were throwing stuff.

Dream 2: I was in a Chinese class with a group of other people. The teacher came in and gave us some work sheets and then went outside to talk with another teacher.

Dream 3: I was playing a racing game where I was hiding/running away from other people.

Dream 4: I was at a train station with my brother and mum where we got the bad news that our grandma had killed one of our cousins and then killed herself. We started to plan their funeral and stuff like that.