Recent DJ Posts

5th May 2021 ~9:20

Fragment:

A(D) messages me on Steam. Something about his birthday? Think he feels lonely but he doesn't mention it.

Dream:

Some dream where I'm walking with H along a pavement, along a road in a forested area with the occasional field. Reminds me of areas in my native country. It's daytime, afternoon?

At some point, we are at some escalators in an entrance for a massive building complex, maybe like a mall. H is no longer H. Instead, it's some unknown dream character following me for some reason; he wants to know where Da Vinci's lock box (safety deposit?) is kept, I think. I tell him "It's probably in one of the 800 ones".

I know where they are and lead him there. We go up a lot of escalators and a few wide stone staircases with shallow steps. Eventually we reach a more open (and outdoor hybrid) area where there are walls with rows and rows of locked panels, the locked boxes we are looking for. There are many people around. Da Vinci's box is one of these just around a corner. Then L arrives, he cautiously walks over to us over a gap or hole in the upper end of the main staircase leading up here.

In the dream, I know that L happens to be one of Da Vinci's direct descendants. Later in the dream I question myself about this logic, shouldn't I be too, if we are siblings?

Either way, he has a key for the locked panels and opens one, giving me something from inside. A crystal. It is elongated, about one foot long at a guess, it is a perfect rectangular cuboid with slightly worked edges/corners, it is a translucent purple at the "top" and a pure white translucent quartz at the other end.

It is a unique object that requires no power and allows one to simply look through it to see others and things through walls with a weak kind of x-ray vision. Later H, mom's sister appears, and she tries to steal the crystal which I had placed in an envelope. I confront her about it and she or both of us get defensive?

(there was more recall but I was too tired)

~11:55

Dream:

There were many other dream sequences but this dream was about helping mom. She was still a teacher in the dream and she was saying that her area was not doing as well as everywhere else in the country, in terms of grades and so on, and I try to reassure her by saying that "kids are and will be different" in different areas, so of course there would be a gap, I reason.

I help somehow, by cleaning up some dusty old church entrance arch area? It has faded greens and reds that brighten up a little once I clean the dust with a microfibre cloth I'm using. I believe the arch is all made of wood, which is painted these colours. I don't see a door to speak of, but the structure is ruined. Its pieces seem to have never been disturbed since it became ruined.

I ask mom about the church, she tells me that it's been this way since the last great earthquake. I think that it would have been undisturbed for a very long time, in that case? It's generally sunny in this area, some kind of square at high point of this old style settlement but I am under the shade of the ruins being under the arch.

Later, I'm not at that place anymore and am discussing something else on the phone with mom, but I cannot recall what anymore.

---

Notes:

- I'm quite tired today but still want to try making some observations for these dreams.

- Red and green are colours both with personal and non-personal meanings to me. On the personal side, they show the exclusion of blue, a colour that oddly enough has featured on its own in other dreams recently. But neither green nor blue are favourite colours of mine, although it depends on the specific tone too.
-- On the non-personal side, the colours tie in with the locality and ruins in terms of identity, especially because of the mention of the earthquake. Though perhaps an irrational fear, I have all my life been concerned that another event of that scale may occur some day during my lifetime, which would likely affect mom and dad.

- The thoughts that L would be Da Vinci's descendant really made no sense and the moment of questioning all of that was a kind of pre-lucid moment.

- The crystal was not supposed to be magical, but technological in nature. It was a very interesting thing to use although I think some part of me had unvoiced radiation concerns in the dream.

- On falling asleep again after the first set of dreams, I hoped I would return to something and tried setting an intention but I fell asleep faster than I could have realised and realised later I hadn't finished setting my intents and so on.

- Both of these dreams and other recent dreams have been especially reminiscent of my native country in their stylistic/aesthetic essence. I should try to make time to explore meanings in regards to this a bit, as I feel it could be helpful with how I've been feeling recently; I have felt particularly nostalgic lately but not of life there specifically, just in general of childhood and some other times.

- The fragment probably relates to the fact that a few people I know are having birthdays around this time of the year, but more specifically I used to know A's birthday date but it seems I don't anymore.

6th February 2021

Dream:

Outside, daytime. In a town that's a mix of several towns from my native country, though I can't think exactly which ones. They're probably ones I've passed through over the years. There's a large open area in front of some apartment buildings.

There's something going on in town about an environmentalist group or some kind of rally. They get told to clear off eventually, despite the fact that they'd actually been given permission to use a large area of the square. They were not being dispersed, it was more like a concert was supposed to take place next and they were getting in the way?

I'm with someone, a man, an associate of some kind.

The dream cuts to a restaurant place. The man is with me and we're meeting up with a woman who's our friend. We sit at a table by a wall, or a corner. It feels tight everywhere in the restaurant and there isn't much personal room, even when we're sat at the table. It's one of those tables that has a round sofa thing.

We discuss what had been going on at the square/plaza area.

The dream implies we ate and cuts to us being in the restaurant kitchen, cleaning dishes because we had no money to pay with. This bit has cold light, but feels kind of dark too.

When we're done cleaning the dishes, we don't put them away and just leave them to dry. We go through a service corridor of sorts and at the end is a door to the outside. This stretch of corridor resembles a stretched out version of the hall of where I live now. I open the door?

Mom and dad appear. It's night time outside, they're here to pick us up. Dream cuts to an urbanised area, like A, but flatter.

Some recall is missing; there's some kind of transition or implied setting. There's a Mech Commander context now and I am commanding the red faction. I have a mission to defend a base I'm in. My units start to be overwhelmed and I don't do too well in managing everything, but eventually I notice I actually have unlimited amounts of certain mechs, warriors and equipment units. I try to use this to my advantage but feel it may be too late?

Something about sending an airship of sorts to drop a large bomb, but not on the enemy?

non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

Inspired in the latest Sandra Bullock movie, which I haven't seen, I am with some kids and friends in the country. There is a haunted house we are in, teaching the kids on how not to be attacked by the ghosts. They react to thoughts and emotions. When we think about it, they appear. We make a giant dark figure stretch his arms through a door, almost getting us. But as long as we have no fear they can't harm us, so I face the monster fearlessly and he can't touch me.
Then someone inspired by Game of Thrones or whatever, projects on us some hardcore body armors with helmets with long horns and secret weapons and turns us into ass kicking warriors, so no one is afraid of no ghosts anymore.

Going to marry Jaime. I am organizing my own wedding and it is a vegan wedding. The music for the aisle walking is the Imperial March. I am doing all preparations myself. All guests are seated and I am in my dress but I am also with a mop and a bucket doing last minute cleanings. The groom is late so someone decides we should have the food first. Then some last minute guests come and Cory Booker is one of them. My friends don't know him, I tell them he is a candidate for president of the USA and vegan. One asks me if he is democrat or republican and I answer. We seat and we eat soup.

Morning of October 3, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,916-01. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 71.



My dream self is non-lucidly in my den in the Stadcor Street house in Brisbane, where we have not lived for years (since our two oldest were young children). There is clutter of which I am sorting. I pick up several winter sweaters from atop other items on the floor and hang them on a hook on the door. A few are like ones I have had in real life, including a gray one. I also pick up pieces of technology, such as a sound card.

The west wall has a narrow gap under it. I notice that a big dragonfly is headfirst about halfway under it. It seems to be dead. I decide to show it to my youngest son. (My dream self has no recall that he never lived at this address.) When I turn around, the bedroom where Zsuzsanna and our youngest son is is the same room I had just been in, though my dream self does not notice this error. The head of the bed is against the west wall. Zsuzsanna is sitting up in bed. Our youngest son is standing on the opposite side of the room.

I feel intense vibrations in my fingers as the dragonfly is alive and moving its wings. I go to the back door, incorrectly rendered as facing east into the yard rather than south onto the porch, and let it go. It still has trouble flying, so stays near the door.

Looking out the window of the back door after closing the door, I see an American robin (juvenile based on its coloring) hopping out to the center of the backyard. It seems that the bird probably ate the dragonfly, though I did not see this occur. I awake around this time.

---

Use of a door or doorway serves as one of two potentials, either triggering the waking process (as here) or triggering lucidity and vivification. A door is a transition from one mode of consciousness to another, in real time.

Birds have been a common point of focus in the last moments of my dreams since early childhood. It is an emerging consciousness factor as an association with the dream self’s fictitious body (not viably understanding where one’s real physical body is, associating the essence of sleeping and dreaming with flight). The dragonfly was a potential for lucidity but did not serve as such. This type of focus, which has occurred in many dreams, is from subliminal awareness of my hands when my dream self’s attention focuses on picking up or moving something.

No preconscious avatar is present. That is most often because of the presence of a dream state indicator, in this case, the bedroom and bed, a feature of at least one dream per sleep cycle since earliest memory and which serves as a precursory liminal awareness of being asleep, thus the preconscious is often not needed in RAS mediation of this type. (That depends on my dream self’s mode and progress of transition from the dream state.)

---

Morning of May 11, 2018. Friday.



There is some sort of situation where an unknown older woman is at our house and demonstrating how an unrecognized cleaning machine works. She is apparently going to sell it. The house is unfamiliar but seems to be implied to have a facet of the Loomis Street house, though mostly unrecognizable as such. The machine looks somewhat like a large floor polisher but also seems to serve as a vacuum cleaner at the same time.

As she goes from a room into another room, I go in to see the condition of the floor. The “floor” at this point is actually loose dirt. I go over to check a bookcase and see that the bottom shelf is slightly blocked off by the height of the dirt floor. I reach down and I am able to take out a book on art. I consider that the floor can be evened out later.

I am then sitting in bed looking at the art book. There is conversation regarding the woman, who is talking to Zsuzsanna, having two of these machines and something about taking one back or both back and later returning with the one we are buying. I am unsure of the cost. One is secondhand and one is new.

The woman looks at my book and me and starts to make negative inferences about people who use paper or have books. This annoys me, so I make an indirect reference that implies that I think she is crazy. I make a comment about “deranged” people who are against people having books, though implying other people that I have heard this about. This makes her angry. I then say, “What about all the people who still get newspapers?” I get the impression that she thinks it is okay to get newspapers (though I remain uncertain) but not okay to have books (possibly because newspapers are recycled). The argument is not that dramatic and is not really like an argument at all. I have my book open to three photographs, one on one page, two on the other. They feature engraved images from Greece, including a light coppery one of Perseus.

There is another unknown person; a male; who may be living in the same house as the woman, who apparently lives directly across the street and stands near the front door for a short time. I get the idea that the woman will be difficult to live in the same neighborhood with and I do not fully trust her concerning the sale of the machine, though I remain mostly cheerful.

---

This dream had a vague and ill-defined thread of either prescience or picking up on something around the time it was happening (with no way of me consciously knowing). In real life this morning, an unusual older woman had two mattresses and there was something about taking back a new mattress and leaving the old one in Zsuzsanna’s sister’s house. So although there was a hint of prescience or remote viewing (as is often the case) it was not correctly defined in this case.

There is an aspect of liminal dream control here, as not getting annoyed enough with the RAS modulation (the unknown woman seemingly disapproving of me) did not trigger waking and my dream was extended for perhaps ten minutes, even with the implication of picking out a book to initiate eventual consciousness, though in this case, it was an art book of which I did not see much writing. The dirt floor being higher than the bottom area of the book shelf along one wall correlates with the depth of REM sleep. The cleaning event is common and relates to the glymphatic system, of which is more active in sleeping and dreaming. The unknown male near the front door did not trigger preconscious modulation as it often does, probably because I was already in a bed (liminal awareness of being in the dream state).

---

Elder Games: At my aunt's house cleaning. I assumed the kids would help but they don't. I set up a complex gaming system and lay out a spread of food. A bunch of elderly people in wheel chairs show up for a gaming competition.

Darker: A friend and I wander from city park to city park trying to find the area with the darkest sky for stargazing. Each time we find what I believe is the darkest sky my friend says, "Nope. We need darker." We continue searching until we find the darkest sky. We then lay on the grass trying to make out the constellations.

6 hrs sleep

She's a Child: My twenty something friend is messing around with a very troubled 17 year old. Every time he brings up her name I reply with, "She's a child. Send her home to her parents. Tell her to finish high school. Tell her you're not buying her alcohol anymore. If you really do care for her prove it by trying to help her, not by taking advantage of her. She's still a child."
Needless to say, this dream was mostly the pair of us arguing.

Barbershop Beeps: I am an old man with very long and very straight white hair, which is my pride. I have a friend who looks like Magneto. We go to a barbershop to get our hair trimmed. The staff send us to separate sides of the shop. It feels like they are up to no good. To convey my suspicions to my friend by talking to him in Morse Code by verbally beeping. It is me in the barbershop chair saying, "Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep. Beep. Beep." And my friend beeps back. We continue to talk in this manner.

Cleaning Cobwebs: My apartment is full of cob webs. It is like I have been gone for a very long time. I need to clean up because someone is using my place to have a bikini waxing party. (are those real?) As I am sweeping down spider webs I find one very large spider with very long legs. It shakes its front leg at me as if admonishing me for destroying its friends' webs. I leave this spider be but sweep away the rest. If the ladies don't like the long legged spider they can take their creepy party elsewhere.

GPS: fleeting dream of being lost in the woods and my gps going crazy
(watched Blair Witch last night)

For the past two nights I've made the mistake of charging my phone while sleeping, which has caused me to sleep past my alarms (and also only remember certain parts of my dreams). But here they are anyway:

June 12: There was something about an extremely racist man on a television show about coyotes. Also, I was living with an older man who was possibly my big brother, and my tenth grade history class did come up once or twice.

June 13: I was in a large building that was possibly someone's mansion. I remember that I was cleaning their sink.

Just some fragments. First I got a cleaning job in a hospital and it was my first day and I was observing a tall, skinny woman in her 60s with short black hair and black jeans a a black long-sleeved shirt cleaning the bathroom. Either a woman was complaining about how another woman did her job or the woman was complaining about the woman who was her boss and I was hoping people wouldn't complain about me.

Then I was shopping for wine glasses and there were boxes of 4 wine glasses beside some new individual wine glasses that I hadn't seen before.

Then there were images of me doing chores and taking care of a house that other people were moving into and I was like a caretaker or house manager or something like that. The whole time I was interrupting these images to think "dream" because I knew I was dreaming but I didn't have much control over what was happening and wasn't very aware and it was more like hypnagogia than a dream.

2.37 am woke up and sat up for wbtb - after meditation mantras - speaking to my sub saying that we are one so help me be aware in my dreams ect -" smooth entry" - from wake to sleep with consciousness - some visualising of green fields with abridged to another place but imagining the water under the bridge is drying up so one could walk there where wild flowers are growing...Water all around tho

Set up for sleep at 3.45am - l lay on my back - for wild
at 5.11 woke up after LD - event noted ;

During Wild attempt I am very calm and really feel the transition to the still open space of ( what I think might be ) Delta/nrem - almost like I feel physically lifted to another space - it was more obvious than ever before - I thought for a bit I had gotten too interested in this transition as I seemed to lay there like this for quite a bit longer but consoled myself that I must wait and not turn over - it was still possible the dream was around the corner I muddle with a bit of Sild and played with imagining my dream scene of grassy green banks for a while - at some point I must have drift off as I cannot remember the transition I don't think. Oh yes I was feeling for my dream body a few times but dreamland has not kicked in yet -
Suddenly I am in the dream and doing something I am doing quite often - Cleaning! scrubbing a carpet, I could see the stains on it and I was determined to get it clean - Something made me question myself and in an instance I know I am dreaming !
I know my sleeping body is in bed and suddenly I felt that fact as I lay in bed but I know instinctively I can move my dream body and easily - excellent!

I sit up then stand up and begin walking away from my body, it feels great as I have been wanting todo this for a while now! I can feel the pull of my physical body so i know I need to get on with grounding myself into the dream - I rub my hands together and as I look down at my hands I get a glimpse at them although its dark and it makes me smile - the feeling of my hands rubbing together feels strangely soothing to me. I can still feel the pull so do some mantras -
" Om mani pema hung " - I look and see a sphere of light coming from my body starting to light up the darkness as I say the mantra - It is delightful and I feel a deep happiness inside me
However I then find am back in my physical body in bed now delighted with the oobe experience

Later NL dreams included helping a very old lady get her will to live back although she may not have much more time - I helped clean up he abode and joked with her - she looked lively and happy in the end when we parted

Another NL dream where I was living a second life so couldn't let my friends know where I lived at night - I set off away from them in the darkness of the night and headed down some dodgy/off the beaten track pathways not knowing if I would be safe -'I had to get out of view quick tho as someone seemed to be following me - off I went into the dark night with my bag.

I woke up in my bed, went out of it and took my clothes. I looked around the room - there was a big mess on a table, pile of clothes lying on an armchair. Next I looked through a window - it was a warm, summer morning. My house was surrounded by a dense rainforest. Wind moved the leaves gently. I sat down on a couch, and suddenly my sisters appeared, and turned on the TV. My older sister was holding a baby in her hands.

The baby was wearing a blue suit. It was crying. My younger sister was watching some kind of TV talent show. I went out of the room, and heard screams from the room. I went back, and saw that the baby was still crying, and there was a perfectly round, red pile of vomit on the ground.

I went to another room, to call mother - the room was tidy and clean. The window was open. As I entered the room, my old teacher appeared, and looked through the window - a woman in her early thirties. She was wearing a green top and jeans trousers.

I told my mother to go and look at the baby. I went back to the room, and cleaned the vomit.

A place based on the Heian era, a woman's emerging from behind a curtain that partitions off an inner room and moving between two wooden tables where a couple other women, her friends, are eating and talking. She's dusting the tables as she talks with them. I'm standing off to one side and watching her, feeling fond but bemused. I've just noticed the wrinkles she's developed, and I wonder how long it's been since we first met. When she gets to the end of the table, I stop her and ask why she's dusting - she knows this place is an illusion I'm creating for her, she doesn't need to clean it. She says she's probably being silly, laughing, and she hands me the thing she was using to dust. I'm feeling vaguely sad about this.

(Woke up. Back to sleep.)

I'm walking across the moors, heading towards a building I think of as haunted - then I mentally correct myself, it's not haunted, it's a dream of a haunted place. This distinction matters to me; something deliberately created to present a certain experience.

I was in a dorm. There was a cleaning crew. I was worried they might be killers or something. The other people I was with in the room kind of read my mind so they stayed. Some of them reminded me of theater ensemble in college. Some are from my LGBT friends. I felt anxious.

I was in the train station. I was going to ride one. I went up the escalator, and the train just arrived. I was with Sharon, and she was on a call standing on the left side after the escalator. The train waiting area is on the right. She was still talking on the phone. When she was done, the train already left. I was going back, because I forgot my facial cleanser or something. I needed some "class." She said not to worry; she brought some of her own and she can lend some.

Just to note that when I was going "back" to the escalator, it was again going up, not down. I saw some food stalls up there.

NOTES:

I slept for 1.5 hours starting around 7 p.m. I was very sleepy.
I woke up alarmed hearing the alarm.
I worried I might forget the dream, but I thought of the keywords.
I wondered for several minutes how I lost the monsters in the dreams and they're now replaced by feelings of foreboding, monsters that I cannot challenge or hug. It's unnerving.

This one's from December 01, 2014:

Have Mexican parents (I'm not Mexican IRL). I'm a kid about 10 years old or so. The dad drives a truck (like a tractor-trailer). I climb on top of it like on top of a train and ride it there, hanging on to bars up there, as the dad drives it. The mom is probably in the front seat. This truck also flies, kind of like a plane, but at a lot lower altitude. It doesn't transform or anything, just starts driving then keeps flying then lands and drives again. The truck went mostly through/above country roads instead of interstates. We run out of gas & money and stop in a town. We have relatives there but we want to pretend to be rich or something, so we go hang out with this random rich lady who's got two dogs and a kid. At first we pretend just fine and make friends, but then she finds out that we're super poor and end up doing work for her. I'm not sure what the parents did, but I did a lot of cleaning. For some reason both of her dogs and her kid piss all over the house, and I have to take care of it. The lady likes me, and I also do some more personal assistant stuff for her, and organize things.

Two dream fragments that may be a part of one large dream.

First part is all the people from my old job are in my neighbors basement, my old manager somehow lives there lol. I bring in food from another place and come meet and talk with them down there, it appears to have some weird setup, architecture in my dreams is always weird. It seems like a large room with the kitchen and living room and a lot of other things combined into one room, overall color scheme appears to be brown or murky white.

Second part is I am late to a class and I sit down near the back. The teacher passes out something how we need to fill in 6 lines for each lap we did at one point. Then he says something about running laps outside if we haven't completed it. So I start to walk outside and apparently its my house, I get to my basement and its a huge mess. So I start cleaning up so it looks less messy when other people inevitably come down to see it. I remember folding some blankets and putting some clothes away before I wake up.