side notes

Ok, I guess I'm starting a new journal here. It's been a while since I've been on here and I can't figure out how to get my old dreams into the new journal format, so I guess I have to start over.


I wanted to begin by just writing down some of the re-occurring dreams that I have all the time:

#1- There's pins (like sewing pins) sticking in my body everywhere. I try to pull them all out but it seems like there's just too many. Sometimes they're covering the floor or bed so if I move, I end up with more sticking in me. Have this dreams several times a week.

#2- Usually I'm with my family for this one, either in a car or a building, I look out the window and there's a tornado headed for us. Sometimes there are like 5 of them. I crouch down under some furniture and pray that I won't die. Or if we're in the car, I'm looking for a safe place to go, but usually end up just clinging to a tree or something. The tornado goes right through me and gives me a strange feeling but I survive. Occasionally we'll be in a camper and it'll lift up into the air, I debate whether I should jump from it.

#3- I'm by a lake somewhere and I see this huge wave coming from a distance. I scramble to get to higher ground, but it's never high enough as I see the wave coming toward me. I grab onto a tree and brace for the impact, which usually hits several times in a row.

#4- My pet rats keep shrinking... sometimes they re-constitute themselves, but I'm always worried they won't come back. Sometimes they disappear completely or turn into little insects.

#5- My dad is making me go back to grade school or high school. I'm constantly arguing with him that I shouldn't have to because I've been through that already. Strangely, no one seems to notice when I'm a 30-year-old in 3rd grade, my teachers are the same ones I actually had back then. I don't get very good grades though, because I keep having to miss school to go to work. I'm worried what my dad's gonna say when report cards come. My teachers are disappointed in me.

#6- My grandma(s) is still alive, but she's very senile. Her personality sometimes gets very hostile, she's very different than she actually was. She looks like a zombie. I'm confused because I thought she'd died 10 years ago.

#7- I find my old toys at my parents' house and I'm thrilled about it. Or I find rare and special my little pony's that I never knew existed.

#8- I'm in church and feeling really uncomfortable. Sometimes the priest calls me out for not believing in religion any more. I try to defend myself but I'm afraid of being possessed by a demon. Sometimes I turn into a demon but more times an angel...epic battles with demons ensue. I'll have these dreams a few nights in a room, usually once a month or so.

#9- I'm in some kind of troubling situation and trying to call for help. But I've ended up with someone else's cell phone and I can't figure out how to use it. Or I just can't type in the number right.

#10- I'm driving a car and it's out of control. I can't seem to reach the brakes well and end up going through stop signs. I know it's only a matter of time before I get in an accident. Or sometimes I'm sleeping in the back seat and I notice no one's driving. I'm concerned, but the car seems to be going along fine, so I go back to sleep. Or Grant's driving, but keeps falling asleep and I'm really worried.

#11- I'm at a huge buffet with all kind of yummy-looking food. I always seem to be last in line though, and by the time I get up there, everything's gone. Or there's no clean plates to use, or the food keeps falling off my plate. Sometimes I set the plate down and someone takes it away. Regardless, I never get a chance to eat. Sometimes I'll be walking around a grocery store and I'll just steal the food off the shelves or freezer (it's usually ice cream) and just start gorging on it.

Ok, I'm going to leave it there for now. There are so many re-occurring dreams I have, it'll take a while to get through all of them. Hopefully I'll be able to commit to writing in this thing once in a while.

non-dream - non-lucid - lucid

14/12/10 I was in a series of dreams involving a lot of family at some sort of party. However the main plot of the storyline was me first of all ignoring a beautiful young woman's approach. This woman turned out to be my neighbour and some woman told me off for leaving her hanging there, considering the fact that I had been playing up to something more. I ended up walking to her door, my heart pounding and at the time I did not know if I would have the courage to knock. I hoped she would come out of the door before I had to and I got lucky. I mumbled something about how nervous I felt and she invited me in.

Throughout the dreams we end up dating and although we make out a lot and she continue to agree to my my sexual approaches we never get to actually do it. And although I never stop to think about the fact that I am dreaming, in the dreams I remember being really frustrated about the fact that I awake before we get to do anything. Her kiss felt amazing and I even remember running my finger under the edge of her underwear, feeling faint hairs growing back after a shave.

Reflection: Although the dreams themselves remain unfulfilled it seemed like I was learning a lesson. A lesson on how to combat a stupid amount of shyness I feel when approaching women. Lets see how it pans out.

Has simply trying to do something about my subconscious visitors done the trick? Also, Inception mind-screwed me quite nicely. Loving it.

The first thing I remember was the second level of the dream. I was dreamscaping, doing a favor for the landlord of an apartment building that was a strange hybrid of the house where I grew up and the apartment building where I live now. I never manage to dream about any building where I actually live, if I do I know it's an OBE. Hasn't happened for some time, though.

I can't remember what the second level was, but it dealt with my old dollhouse (Haha, Christopher Nolan!) and I was wrapping metallic gold thread around something, like a small spool or something but it felt like a craft of some kind. I think the small something was soft.

I was lucid on a certain level, that the second level was a dream. A phone call woke me to the first level, which was not lucid. I vaguely remember returning to the second level, because I remember playing out some of the cliches of Inception (How did I get here???). But the phone turned out to be my Dad calling to say "Hello." We chatted about what was going on, I told him about the favor, and I mentioned that I smelled an odd kind of smoke. Dad became Overprotective Dad, getting all skittish that something was wrong. I told him that it was probably just the heater (apparently, this smell was normal?) and that any tenant could fix it so the handyman neighbor would probably be down soon to deal with it.

I got off the phone and wandered downstairs to find the landlord (who was somehow Willem Dafoe...) talking with the handyman neighbor who doesn't exist IRL. I mentioned quietly that the favor was done, and the neighbor said that something was very wrong with the heater. Dafoe made a crack that he wasn't getting much of his investment back on THIS building and left without doing anything. I made a comment about him being a slumlord, and woke up.

This time I was so confused at the first level being a dream that IRL I started checking for oddities. Pinch hurts, and I'm in my own apartment, though I always think that I'm in my own home so I COULD be wrong. And Hubby's here, more evidence that I'm awake. I even broke my first rule of surreality by looking into a mirror and a dark window. Freddy Kreuger's not there. I still haven't looked too closely at the TV, though. No nerve.

It has been a while since I wrote something in my DJ.
Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to post something and in addition, I had not enough sleep during the last month.

But this is changing again. Next week, the courses are free thank God (or better: thank the government). So I will have enough sleep to practice again the whole lucid thing.

Well last night:

I was really exhausted because I studied all the evening long until 11p.m. I went to bed and I want to relax a bit. I instantly felt how heavy my body was. It remembered me instantly of the very beginning of sleep paralyses.
Exactly in this moment, I hear strange noises witch remind me of the sound of a fridge. It came to me in waves. I relaxed even more and I had the feeling that I was floating in the air, raising and sinking through my room. It felt very cool and didn't scared me at all, because I knew it was only in my head.
After 5 minutes or so, I tried to move in thoughts my body. I managed to move my fingers and my hands a bit. I wondered if I was already in some dream or if the sleep paralyses had already gone away.
I want to open my eyes, but I realize that my eyes are already open. It's bright in my room, but I see things blurry. My vision clears up and I realize that I'm lying in my bed. I know that I'm dreaming. I want to get up to leave my bed and to explore my dreamworld. But for some reason, I wasn't able to move. I thought:
- Damn! I feel that my real bod. I have to try moving a bit and not to think about my real body.
I slowly moved my fingers but suddenly, out of no-where ......

..... A DC appears in front of me! He's sitting on my chest! That's why I'm not able to move!

I shouted:
- Go out!
HIs answer:
- No, your chest is comfortable!

I awake. I'm pissed turn to the left side of my bed and fall back to sleep again.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

[Another really long entry, but it's a really good one this time. Sorry for taking up so much page space again.]

I'm on the playground of my elementary school. It's dusk, and there are lots and lots of kids and teenagers on the playground, some playing games, others just milling around. I see one group of kids playing something that they call tackle football; it involves one person on the team holding a bowl of green beans and others holding and occasionally eating spoonfuls of the green beans, while the entire team moves around the field. Curious about the game they're playing, I approach the group.

“Are those green beans?” I ask.

“Yes,” someone in the group says.

The group spreads out a little, and I see that two of the people in it are P. and Thomas[, who first appeared in my dream dated December 7]. The instant I see him, I know for sure that I'm dreaming. “Thomas?” I say, looking at him. He acknowledges me. I'm pleasantly surprised to see him again, and amazed at how completely real all the people around me look. Throughout the rest of this dream, I make a special effort to pay attention to the environment around me, including paying attention to the physical sensations of touching things whenever I can. I'm aware that if I don't, they'll stop existing and fade away.

I start wandering through the playground, heading back toward the school buildings. P. and Thomas are following me. It's now fully dark, but the playground is still crowded. I end up on the sidewalk of the street that runs along the south side of the school and passes the kindergarten before the dreamscape shifts on me.

I don't notice the shift itself, but I find myself walking through the streets of a charming, slightly old-fashioned downtown with square, orderly blocks. There's no one else around. I stop and turn around, attempting to summon P. and/or Thomas by expecting them to be there. It doesn't work; I'm all alone. I shrug and continue exploring. As I had in the previous scene, I continue to notice and marvel at how vivid, detailed, and realistic the environment around me is. Everything looks and feels exactly like reality, yet I know perfectly well that I'm dreaming. I can even feel the asphalt and pavement under my feet. [It didn't occur to me until I had woken up and was lying there, recalling my dream, that I must have looked pretty funny wandering around in public places with no shoes on. ] I remember one of my lucid goals and attempt to walk through a wall into one of the shops. I try it twice, but it doesn't work either time; I'm not surprised at all to discover that the wall is just as solid and “real” as everything else in this dream world. As I continue walking, I think, Wow, this dream is really stable and seems to be going on for a long time. What should I do here? Oh, yeah – the Task of the Month is to hit a DC with a snowball. I'll have to go find a snowball. But there is no snow in this setting, and the weather is clear and bright.

I pass a small shop front on a street corner, with a red brick facade and a walk-up window where you can buy things. I recognize the woman inside as Lisa D., a real-life friend. I stop and talk to her. I say, “Lisa, do you happen to know where I might find a snowball?” She invites me to come into the shop through the door on the side. I stand just outside the door. [I don't know why; recall is a little vague here.] The small shop is actually a short truck, which is backed up to the brick facade with the window in it with its back cargo door open, forming the interior space. Lisa starts up the truck and starts driving it away from the facade and along the street. I walk quickly along with it for a little way, holding on to the frame of the open, narrow door on the side and keeping pace with it. Then I step up into the truck through the doorway and ride in it. I say aloud, “I could float along with the truck, but when the truck is moving, why make the effort?” I vaguely remember another person being in the doorway with me, but if so, I don't know who it was.

I ride inside the truck as it drives up into the mountains. While sitting in the truck, I hold onto the handle of a plastic bucket, feeling the sensation to ensure the dream remains stable. The truck takes me to a town on a mountaintop. I'm on or near a different, fenced-in school playground [I think; again, my recall isn't very good here.] I can see buildings on the tops of nearby hills, and I think I catch a glimpse of a patch of snow on a distant hilltop, but I'm not sure.

[I think] The scene shifts again, and I'm walking around on the campus of a community college. [Day residue; I walked back and forth across my real community college campus several times yesterday.] There's no one else around. This community college campus has slightly more traditional-looking architecture than my real one does, has a different layout, and there are more plants around and they're more mature, making the campus greener than my real one. This is a pretty campus, I think. I'm still admiring how vivid and "real" my surroundings are as I explore them, and I'm still looking for snow, but not finding any.

[Dreamskip? Another scene shift? I'm not sure, but the next thing I remember is that] I'm walking through the interior of a large, recreational building. I'm in a spacious, high-ceilinged indoor space with two swimming pools in it, a large, deep one and a smaller, shallower one, at right angles to each other. There are people in this room, many of them kids, walking around, swimming, and getting into and out of the pools. In one corner of the room is the entrance to a child-care room, which is full of brightly pastel-colored play equipment with little kids playing on it. It's separated from the room with the pools by glass walls. One of the glass walls has sticky gel letters on the inside of it, so that they look backward from outside the room. I can still read them backward, though. When I first look at them, I read them as “Children Sno” and think, Yay, snow! Then I approach the room for a closer look and realize that I've misread them; they say “Children Glo.” I leave the room, walking on the path between the narrow end of the larger pool and the longer side of the smaller pool. As I walk, I complain aloud: “There's no snow here! I mean, I know I've lived in Southern California all my life, but come on! Can't I have some imagination?” [I was complaining about the fact that, even though I wanted to complete the Task of the Month, my mind wasn't creating any snow in my dream world. The explanation I came up with for this observation was that I've never spent a winter in an area where it snows, so my mind can't re-create snow very easily, because I've only experienced it in real life a couple of times, so I don't know what it's like very well.]

Outside the recreational building, there's a courtyard or patio where a large group of people are having a celebration or reception. I walk among them without speaking to anyone. No one takes any notice of me. There are folding tables with paper tablecloths and lots of food set out on them, including oatmeal cookies. [I wish I'd thought to try one! This was the first time I've had the chance to try dream food while lucid, and I missed it! Dang!] Still in search of a snowball to throw, I decide to try summoning one by reaching under a small table of food next to a wall, without looking, and expecting a snowball to be there. It doesn't work. When I look, the only thing under the table is a small, open-topped cardboard box with some kind of party supplies in it, like paper napkins. [I note that in my attempts to summon people or things in this dream, I did not have the same quiet assurance and confidence that it would work as I had at those times in the past when I successfully summoned an object. I wasn't truly focusing on it or believing in it this time, which, I think, is why it didn't work.]

I get up from looking under the table and look around at the people celebrating. I sense that the dream is about to end. I close my eyes, hoping to use that method of teleporting to get to another environment. I just end up looking at the inside of my real eyelids.

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Side notes:

This dream came at the end of a very bad, emotionally draining day and a late night. I was too tired to really try to induce a lucid dream. All I did was get up for a minute or two and go back to bed right before I had this dream, do a minimal amount of affirmations (maybe one or two), and wear my cardboard-square wristband on the inside of my right wrist, which I hadn't worn at all in a while. It may have been one of these things that caused such a long, vivid lucid dream, or maybe it was just the fact that I'd had a bad day and wanted to escape from it all (even though I consciously told myself before bed that that was stupid). I sure did feel a lot happier and better after waking up from my dream, though.

After waking up, I realized two things about this dream:
A) Expecting to be able to summon a snowball was stupid because, unlike the seed pod that I successfully summoned before (see entry dated October 26, 2010), a snowball doesn't naturally exist as a discrete object. You have to make a snowball yourself.
B) I was surrounded by DCs several times. I could have talked to my subconscious and asked for the answers to the questions from my exam that I missed because I had studied those subjects months ago, forgotten about them, and failed to review before the exam. (I'm not saying for sure that it would have worked, but it would have been fun to try. I'm curious to know if it can work.) I actually thought about doing that before I went to bed, but I didn't even think of it while I was dreaming. The only thing it occurred to me to do was to hit a DC with a snowball. Silly me! I will have to add “ask a DC about stuff I should know, but have forgotten” to my list of goals.

One final note: Wow. I now have a recurring, original, named dream character who is neither a pre-existing fictional character nor anyone I know in real life, and seeing him made me go lucid because I remembered meeting him in a previous dream, and here he was again, so I had to be dreaming. That's pretty neat. I can't say for sure that that officially makes him my dream guide, though, at least not just yet. It didn't occur to me to ask him if he was one. If I see him again, I'll try to remember to do that.

This night's dreams are definitely going down as memorable. I remember a great deal of them, good stuff happened, and I briefly went lucid (Not in my last REM cycle even!)

The first thing I remember of the dream is being in an underground facility of some sort. There were lots of DC's everywhere. My RL friend was with me (as a DC) and we were looking around the place. We ended up in this room with two other female DC's (Who didn't resemble anyone that I personally know). They joined up with us and after awhile it became apparent that one of them liked me, and the other liked my friend. The environment didn't change much during the exploration, but it kinda did start to resemble the interior of the northern building of my high school. The girl who liked my friend actually kinda brought me to the realization that her friend liked me (I was ignoring the signs apparently). So I went up and grabbed her hand. I'm not going to go into detail of the next few scenes cause it doesn't really belong in a dream journal Now what happened next was the girls had to go, and apparently my friend and I had to escape the facility. There was hulk hogan and guns. Alot of my memory of this dream is hazy as it did occur in one of my first REM cycles, but I remember my friend jumping through blast doors right before they closed. I went back into the facility, found a bag with a handgun in it (with 2 shots). I actually did squeeze of two rounds without the trigger jamming like it usually does in dreams. I met hulk hogan with whom I apparently had a family connection with and we forged an escape plan where he ended up doing a bunch of stuff in character to some of the guards.

Now I don't remember if that was one whole continuous dream or if it was split by when I woke up. I cannot distinguish when I woke up in terms of my dream because the entire dream is blended together in my head (though when I woke up I took about a minute to review it in my head so as not to forget it, ill keep some paper bedside to write it down next time). Anyway, I tried to WILD for about 15 - 30 minutes and after not being able to enter the dream state (though I'm pretty sure i hit SP), I gave up and went to sleep normally.

Outside of the facility was a parking lot, but the whole world was blocky and resembled the environment of the game Minecraft. There was just something not right about it and I finally did pick up on the ridiculousness of the world around me by looking at one of the trees. It was make of blocks, and I could even see the seams between the blocks. Even the leaves were in large 1x1 meter block shapes. It clicked for me and I became aware. I didn't even have to throw down a reality check, I just became lucid. Now what I should have done right then was stop and stabilize the dream. I got excited but I actually didn't wake myself or become aware of my body. I just took off in one direction determined to find my dream guide. I actually saw a few blocky Minecraft people looking at me running and jumping around (half flying). I turned a corner and saw my mother walking in the direction I was coming from. I asked her if she knew where I could find my dream guide, but she just spouted utter gibberish to me and walked away. I walked into a blocky hut that I saw in front of me, and immediately my vision faded and I had a false awakening. Bummer.

I seemed to be back just outside the facility. I was looking at a computer screen and associated my LD's clarity to just sleeping with my eyes open looking at the computer screen or something. I didn't RC on awakening like I should have, I just moved on.

Much later, most likely in another dream cycle I was walking outside a building. There was a tank in front of me firing down the street at another ground of tanks. I threw myself flat and crawled to cover. I looked over at the target tanks and saw men scrambling out of the top. The tank beside me put another round into the hull of the tank and I saw limbs, blood and bits of people explode out ward from the hatches. Thick oily smoked poured from the hatch. I turned away and climbed onto the side of the tank nearest me. It took me down to the wreckage where I looked around a bit. The hulls of the target tanks were crushed and their lifeless operators just sat in the street where the rain washed away their blood. It was pretty nasty. I walked down the street to a building marked 'HQ' Upon entering I received a badge with my name and military ranking on it. I was a bit confused but I just rolled with it. There was a girl i was talking to inside with ranking 11 (my rank was 4). An Asian guy with ranking 101 walked in a little later to cheers of the other DC's inside. Eventually I ended up outside walking down the street. There was also a cat and mouse. I was holding the cat so it wouldn't pounce on the mouse. I could hear the cats thoughts of "Let me at him!" But for some reason I didn't let him. Memory fades at this point.



The next thing I remember is being in line for a roller coaster. Its an updated version of a local one. And resembles it greatly. I climb on board with a few other DC's, the restraints actually close this time and the ride begins. I managed to ride this thing mostly to completion. It had tons of inversions, twists, turns, corkscrews, barrel rolls, and spins. I even got a picture in my head of a dream I had months and months ago of the same roller coaster where I had refused to ride it because it had looked so terrifying. I don't remember the train ever completing its circuit, I'm pretty sure I woke up right before it did.

TODO: RC when I wake up! I think this is what's screwing me out of alot of potential LD's

Woah.. wall of text. I highlighted the beginning of the LD in blue and the end in red just to clarify it in case someone reads it and wants to give me advice without having to read the entire frigging thing.

Awake, Non-lucid, Lucid, [Commentary made while awake]

Night of December 7-8

I'm in the kitchen of House #1, looking up somebody's phone number on my cell phone. It looks like a calculator, but it has a two-line display, and the number is stored in it. Then, my dad, P. and I have a conversation via text messages about camping. I see the text messages on the screen of this calculator-phone thing. My dad says, “Want to go camping?” I say, “I love camping! Do we have to go in winter, though?” My dad says he doesn't expect us to go in winter. [There was a text message from P. in there somewhere, but I don't remember what it said.]

Then, my dad comes into the room, and he and I argue about how to retrieve the phone numbers of past incoming callers from the house phone. [My dad and I had figured this out together in real life the evening before I had this dream, but the phone in the dream had a much bigger, much more complicated two-panel display than our real house phone has.]

Night of December 8-9

There's an area where some sort of armed conflict has been taking place. There is an organization of people called “Help the Hungry” who are providing food to the survivors by parachuting in with it and by air-dropping it.

I'm in the bombed-out, roofless, empty remains of a small, single-story house that had only one or a few rooms. There is a rectangular box in the middle of the floor of the largest room. All the sides of the box are on fire, but there is a single hard-boiled egg in the center of the box, and it's not burning. I know that it was air-dropped there by Help the Hungry. Oh, a dream, I realize. I decide to go out of the house and explore. I turn around, toward another section of the house, a rectangular section where the wall at one of the narrow ends has been blown up. There's too much rubble between me and the opening for me to walk through conveniently, so I fly over it.

Once I get outside, I discover that the house is in the middle of a wide-open, flat, grassy field, lined with trees around the edges. [Now that I think of it, it resembles the one at the park closest to House #1, only the one in the dream is bigger, has more trees, and has no roads or other buildings in sight.] There is only one other person there, standing right near me as I'm flying just a few feet above the ground. He says something to me [that I don't remember now]. His tone doesn't sound hostile, but I know that he's part of the group responsible for bombing the house, so I want to get away from him quickly. I start flying straight up to escape. He makes a grab for my legs to catch me, but misses. I continue ascending, and the dream starts to fade. Gray blotches appear and spread, blotting out the sky around me.

When I found myself back in bed, I thought, No, I'm not done yet, with resolve. I didn't want this dream to be over already. I remained perfectly still and concentrated on visualizing the dream I'd just been having. I remember thinking, Please... please... please...

...and then I'm back in the sky above that same grassy field, falling toward it just as fast as I had been flying away from it. I do a faceplant into the grass, but feel no sensation at all, neither impact nor deceleration nor pain. I'm now lying on my stomach in the grass. Three or four people about my own age are crouched down in front of me, watching me as I push myself up. I try to speak, but for some reason, although my mind is sending the right commands, my mouth won't work. Instead, I smile and wave at the young woman on the right, who smiles and waves back. As I'm getting up, I keep trying to speak, and after a few seconds, I succeed in getting my mouth to work. I say something like, “Hi, I'm (Emiko). Hide me from anyone other than the Help the Hungry people, will you? I don't think they like me very much.” By “they” I mean the group responsible for bombing the house, and the reason I don't think they like me very much is that I ran (well, flew) away from them. The others seem to accept me, and we all walk away across the field as a group. [That's the last I remember.]

--------------
Side notes:

I was getting to be kind of annoyed that I'd had dreams featuring House #1, one of my dream signs, for two nights in a row without going lucid. Last night, I started to do more serious RCs again, and changed up my before-bed affirmations, making them more along the lines of, “When I'm in an unfamiliar place, especially House #1, I realize that I'm dreaming.” It seems to have worked.

Also, this is the second time that a dream has started to fade right when I've been flying upward. I think it's because both times, I was concentrating exclusively on the act of flying, not paying any attention at all to the environment around me. Lesson learned: In the future, look around more when flying. (Yay for DEILDs, though! I'm so glad I know that trick and can pull it off successfully. )

Hi guys, enjoy what you read!
red for lucid
purple for normal dream
black for added comments not dream related.

Hours of sleep : 5 hours.

None lucid & accused of drugs?!

1- I am with some friends.. they are smoking some kind of drug,they whisper to me "its called raven" and my body feels weird, I know for sure that I don't like the sound of this, I back away, but some of the smell sticks to my clothes as I am walking home. My dad is sat down at his desk, he stands up and tells me "sit down Merry, I have something I want to ask you." I sit down, confused.. He has a speaker for music at the left of his desktop, he tells me to read it. I don't see anything weird about it at all and decide to read it. It says some stuff like a shopping list at the beginning and then at the bottom I remember seeing clearly, the word Raven. I say "What's all this about?" and he replies with "Raven, have you been smoking it?" and I realise that the smell must have drifted onto my clothes, but how on Earth would he have got this together in time to realise the smell?! I reply with "No, I haven't." and he shakes his head in shame, "You don't have to lie to me." I see he has some roll ups in his hand. I panic and the dream changes.

I'm in the back of my mums old cramped car, we are travelling across a desert land, and I panic. trying to find something in the back of it, I have no idea why. My sister and mum are discussing something, but I can't hear anything...

I wake up to the sound of my dad opening the front door from dropping my sister off at school.
note- what the hell?!

Ok, I need to play a little catchup first because I forgot to write down my dream from yesterday (Fortunately, I still remember it).

Was riding with my family in our van coming back from thanksgiving vacation. We were driving through a desert (there was moderate traffic) and passed a rocket launch site. A rocket was in the air above the launch pad, but I immediately knew something was wrong, it appeared to be out of fuel. The rocket came weaving back down earthbound and actually crossed above our van and smashed into a cliff to the right. It exploded and tipped over a car behind us. It looked as if they were severely injured inside. I don't remember much past this point (and I'm kinda kicking myself for A CRASHING ROCKET not triggering an LD). Eventually I woke up, but fell back asleep into the same dream. The visuals around me were very Simspon-eque (sharp outlines, and I think I even saw Homer and Bart at one point). Most of this dream is vague, but I do remember an indignant woman yelling at me to call an ambulance because both her arms were chopped off.

Now, for my dream last night.

I read CrazyInsane's WILD technique for lucid dreaming and I wanted to give it a shot http://www.dreamviews.com/f79/**craz...rial-**-87710/, I lack a device that sounds an alarm once and stops so before I went to bed, I looked at the clock on my cell phone and stated "I will wake up at 3:00am" Unsure if this would work or not, I fell asleep. Unfortunately I moved around alot when I woke up this morning so my dream recall wasn't what it should have been. Anyway I remember speaking with some friends about a girl they wanted to set me up with. I was trying to decline their offer because the girl in question is a gigantic slut (In real life). All of a sudden, I woke up! My own alarm clock in my head actually worked... the bad part is, I wasn't able to execute the next steps of the CANWILD method because I woke up in a fairly uncomfortable position and was thirsty. I drank a bit of water, repositioned and fell back asleep. The dream picked up where it left off, thought I can't recall the details, I just know it did. At one point in this dream, I was at my school for something, but again, I just can't remember the details.

I'm going to continue experimenting/practicing using my biological alarm clock, and work on dream recall a bit more (I blame today's fail on having to get up at 6:30 am after going to bed at midnight).

It has been so long since I have had a lucid dream. It is crazy to think I have been practicing for almost three years now. The problem is keeping track of the daily routines in such a hectic life. For the past couple of months I have been trying to recapture my lost ability. I have finally come to the realization that my journal and reality checks were responsible for almost 90% of my lucid dreams and if I want to have them regularly I must pick up the habits once again. Here is where I am at right now. I have remembered several dreams lately, and experienced an intense sleep paralysis the other night. It was the most vivid sleep paralysis I have ever felt. I awoke in a deep rem cycle, rolled over, thought to myself I should try to enter sleep paralysis, and bam I flew into the blackness spinning and twirling! I heard voices all around me, childrens laughter, adult's conversating, screams of pain. Visions began swirling in front of my eyes, and in an instant, a flash of white light erased it all and I was soundly asleep in a non lucid dream. I have had intensly vivid dreams, but none lucid, I have been shocked that I haven't realized I could become lucid in many of them. It is just too much for me to write down. They have been long and vivid. From this point on I will be using this forum everyday as I once did to record my dreams and re earn my lost ability to lucid dream every single night. Last night I had a dream that a rookie was sitting down in front of what is now carter and tim the rookies lockers. He was not good looking and apparantly out of shape. He seemed to have ugly blonde redish curly hair and a matching beard. He had a smart and cocky mouth which he would not stop running. Taylor respectfully tried to calm him down but the douchebag refused to listen. Taylor got that look in his eye, his facial expression went blank. I know what that means, he had crossed that line. Taylor stood up and walked for him, I jumped in the middle and put my hands on his chest. I said " Taylor don't. Please man just let it go." I had saved that rookies life, or at least kept him from going to ICU. And that's it. Bring em on subconcious, I'm ready for you.

Lucidity: 8/10
Vividness: 9/10
Length: 10 Min.

I was playing with a broken fosset and I noticed an omitrix on my arm. I realized that it was weird and knew I was dreaming. So I finally got it to shut off and went upstairs. I saw some cubs and tried to turn into one of them. It didn't work. Then I was trying to fly in a large field. I tried times and times again and kept falling. It was very vivid, the shadows were superb. Then these two assholes said something about doing certain things in MY lucid dream that I shouldn't have done. Then they started to sing. It was very annoying. So I saw a little white dot in the sky and made it crash into those assholes. Nothing happened, then I saw this lady that was hot and I took some thing and shot some white stuff all over her. She smiled at me so I took my dick out and tried to have sex. Then I woke up. I know that earlier in this lucid dream I did officially have sex but I can't remember when.

Non-lucid Lucid Side notes

I went to bed at 2:00 am and woke up at 7:30 am to attempt a WILD. It didn't work, but I had a very entertaining lucid dream as a result.

I am in a hotel room with three guys my age and some random old lady. One of the guys is really nerdy and is annoying the living daylights out of everybody. This hotel room has bunk beds and I am chilling on one of the top bunks. We want to go outside of the hotel and are all talking about where exactly we want to go. We can't decide on anything, and then from out of the blue, the nerdy guy says, "Polka Town!" and slaps his knees repeatedly. I am beginning to wonder if he has a mental disorder. All the other dream characters somehow think that going to this "Polka town" would be a good idea. So they go over to the window that overlooks an empty green field, and one by one jump out of the window. Our hotel room is on the third floor so I am very shocked, but then I come to the conclusion that this is a dream and I become lucid.

I jump out the window as well and fly with them over the empty field for a bit. We land in some Victorian-style town and everything somehow becomes animated. All the towns people are ambling around and playing accordians. None of them are good at playing, so all of them combined sounds like a jumbled mess. When they see us, they go berserk and start to chase us. They are filled with a rage virus like in 28 Days Later that makes them want to eat brains and play crappy polka. We sprint away from them, and at this point there are about five other normal people with us who are running away from the bloodthirsty polka folks. One guy has a club, so he stops momentarily to get a good swing at a towns person. He clubs this person in the head, but three or four other towns people quickly descend on him. An attractive black lady who is running with us from the towns people also stops running for some reason. Her husband, who has the rage virus, runs towards her and is about to eat her brains. However, he changes his mind suddenly because he recognizes his wife, drops his accordion, becomes normal again, and tells his wife that he missed her. We decide that we've had enough of polka town (no country hospitality whatsoever) and fly up into the air again. We fly back through the window and into our hotel room again.

I remind myself that I am still dreaming. I look at the walls of the hotel room and there are large grey numbers everywhere. Even though we were almost ripped apart by crazy polka folks, everyone is thanking the nerdy guy for his recommendation. I say it actually wasn't too great and he punches me in the arm. The nerdy gives jolly ranchers to everybody, but gives me a yellow flower. He says its a powerful and dangerous drug that I shouldn't try (not sure why he gave it to me then). I pop it in my mouth and eat it up because I'm not afraid of the effects since its a dream. It tastes very bitter and very sour at the same time. A warm sensation rushes through my body, and everything suddenly becomes much brighter. I look out the window and see that there is a big snow storm (which is a hallucination because it was nice and sunny before I ate the drug). I am majorly trippin' and am laughing like a crazy person. I look at the dream characters and see that they have freakin' chimpanzee faces. I say to them, "heh heh heh... You guys have monkey faces... heh heh".

I walk through the door and out into the hallway to explore the dream level a bit. The effects of the drug wear out when I'm halfway down the hallway. I remember my dream goal to enter another world via a door portal. I walk up to a hotel room door, imagine the planet Pandora from Avatar on the other side and open the door. To my disappointment, it is only a bedroom with dark blue walls and lots of lava lamps. I walk inside, go up to the window, look out of it and see a large expanse of jungle. I get excited and leap out of the window. I fly over the jungle and want to land on the ground and have an adventure. I can't enter it however, because the landscape gets all hazy and two-dimensional. I am afraid that I'll wake up so I fly back into the hotel.

I decide that I want to have sex with a hot girl so I start looking for women. I see an open door to a hotel room, so I walk into the room but there's only some fat chick playing a keyboard. I am awkwardly silent for five seconds, say hi to her, and walk away. I walk down another hallway and it leads me into a mall. There are restaurants and clothing stores and such, and I see lots of beautiful women in bikinis walking around in a clothing store on my left. I walk in to the store, approach a tall blonde woman, and ask her if she wants to have sex with me. She is repulsed and tells me to screw off. I see another woman who is tan, brunette and much more beautiful than the one who rejected me. I walk up to her try a different tactic by whooing her. She likes me so she says "bite me". I grab her behind and before we do anything I wake up.

This isn't so much a dream as it is an early morning delirious series of waking and dozing visions. It isn't too fresh in my head, but I figure its good to at least write something down.

There was seamless shifting between dreaming state and wakefulness in my bed this morning. I'd be aware of my body and head on the pillow for one minute and the next I would be in this corridor, still lightly aware that it was morning and unable to move freely as in a dream. I woke up again and dozed again seeing this same corridor. Again I woke and dozed but this time I had a vision of zerglings from starcraft. I saw them from a detached aerial perspective, but only briefly as my (real life) alarm went off which brought me into full wakefulness.

[This is a catch-up post. This dream is from the night of November 25-26.]

Awake, Non-lucid dream, [Commentary made while awake]

I'm attending a writers' workshop at the home of author Beverly Cleary. Every single wall of the house is completely covered with filled bookshelves. I'm walking through the house, picking my way among people in sleeping bags lying on the floor.

Dreamskip. Now everyone is awake and listening to Cleary speak. She announces to all the attendees that she's retiring from writing. Her assistant says: “Does anyone have any questions? Real questions? Realer questions?”

One of the other attendees asks if anyone else there is willing to answer a question, and I volunteer to answer it, saying, “I can make a halfhearted effort at answering.” I say this because I don't think my answer can possibly be anywhere near as good as Cleary's. The assistant introduces me to the other attendee with the question as the author of the forthcoming novel “Artist.” In the dream, I know that the assistant is referring to my current NaNoWriMo novel [the one I was working on in real life when I had this dream], but I think, That's not the right title. [At that point, I hadn't given that novel a title yet in real life, but I still somehow knew that that wasn't the right one.] The other attendee gives me a thin ARC [Advance Reader Copy] of his (or her? I'm not sure) new book, and asks me if I'm interested in reading it and how long it would take me to read it. I am interested, because it has Piers Anthony's name on it as a reference, and is obviously high fantasy based on the cover design. I flip through it and say, “I could read this in an hour, maybe two.”

The other attendee and I walk through the house, which is crowded with workshop attendees. In the room where we end up, there are some people sitting around a picnic table, and David C. is one of them. The other attendee who gave me the ARC asks me something about what the group dynamic at this writers' workshop is like. I answer, then start telling him (her?) about the characteristics of the T./M. Writers' Group [I don't know of one in real life, besides the NaNoWriMo group] and F. Writers Read. Then I woke up. This one was so cool that I thought about trying to DEILD back in, but I didn't because I knew I'd already moved around too much.

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Side notes:

This dream was awesome. Not only did I have particularly good recall, especially for the many spoken conversations in the dream, but even better, somebody introduced me as the author of a forthcoming novel. Being the author of a published novel is one of my biggest real-life goals. Also, the night I had this dream was the night before Black Friday, and I had set a goal for that day of breaking my previous personal record for the most words of fiction written in a single day. I succeeded. I think this dream indicates that my intention to finish the draft I've started without stopping at the end of November had taken root firmly in my mind. Rawk.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
During the day I had some emotional but fun situations where I would have loved to have been in a situation like this before and tried different things out. Then I realized I got the idea to use my dream world more. My dream world may be nearly perfect but my waking life has a lot of areas where I would like to see improvements. The dream world is a lot like Star Treks holo-deck, I can make it what I need and try things out there, in complete safety, and I even have a panic button. I was determined to recreate the dream world to meet my waking life needs.

Upon dreaming I had 3 totally underwhelming dreams and I was not lucid in any of them to any degree.

Dream 1: The Garden and a Patdown
There was this large forest and gardens but to get into it you first had to go through a security room that looked like a torture room from a video game. In the room you got a patdown and then were free to go int the forested garden area. The forestgarden was nothing special and I just looked around and talked to people. Upon leaving I was patted down again.

I had 2 other dreams of talking to people about useless things which I will not bore you with.

Reflections:
I realized that in order to create a task in my dream world I am going to have to try to focus my thoughts before sleep to more of a self help feeling. I order to go to sleep easily and have good dreams I focus on anything I want as long as they are positive and simple. But what I need to do is focus more on fixing and growing and less on having a good dreaming experience. No wonder I am bored with my dream life, I have made it so… well to use a British phrase, pedestrian (not British, not that there's anything wrong with that ). It reminds me of what I heard Dr. Who say “You make all of space and time your back yard and what do you have? A backyard.” I have to make it more than a backyard and I have all this control, I need to use it! I never thought of using the dream world like a tool but I am now determined to. So my new dream goal is to make my dream life to serve me waking life's needs. So far, not so great…hmmm wish me luck